Only Me

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As we were all forced to be quarantined, that was when my depression hit me really badly. It was not a diagnosed depression but I was in a constant unhappy state to the point it affected my everyday life. Before Covid my relationship with my family was decent but it worsened as I had to stay home with them everyday. I constantly had arguments with my mom and because she is extremely old fashioned so it was a very frustrating process every time I tried to compromise with her. I felt that she did not love me anymore and from then on I distanced myself away from my family as a whole because I did not want to argue with them anymore. I became extremely lazy and took school less seriously. But this did not happen until I met a certain somebody. She was a very talented and hard working person however her personality drained and killed me as a person. I took quite hard classes and the home atmosphere made it difficult for me to learn so I ended up with no so good grades. When this ¨friend¨ saw my grades, she would say the most rudest and harshest things I´ve ever heard in my life. I also trusted her and some other friends with my personal problems and would sometimes rant to them to release my built up stress. However that friend told me that I overshared my life and that probably the whole school would know what goes on in my life. I did not need her nagging about how I wasn´t trying in school along with my parents so I distanced myself from everyone and restricted myself from making friends because I did not want anyone to hurt me while I was in this fragile state. For the past 2 years I suffered through a lot of mental drainage: I cried alone, worked out alone to cope with my anger, sat alone in my room to do homework I was told I was not capable to do. I felt that I was going being dragged through from hell to back and I was not willing to live anymore until I met someone this year. I was very mentally deprived and I needed someone to talk to after being pushed away and distancing myself from others for 2 years straight. My goal this year to make a new friend and I did and is probably the best decision I´ve ever made. We both went through similar things throughout the pandemic so I felt we were on the same page. He is willing to be there for me without me asking and we compliment each other and get along well and I wish to get to learn about him more later in the future. Maybe I am still alone in this. Or naybe I am not alone in this anymore, maybe another leaf will come to be next to me one day or maybe even a flower.

In the picture is a branch with a single leaf on it.

November 28, 2021

God

APUSH

Garden Grove High School

text story

photograph

English Health & Wellness

English Education--K12

English Home & Family Life

depression

high school

argument

mother

grade

new friend

apush

Garden Grove High School

K-12

Mental Health

11/29/2021

02/17/2022

04/28/2022

08/26/2022