Dealing with Disappointment (or Adjusting during Covid)

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While everyone has had to adjust. As a parent of a Senior in high school I felt a sense of loss for my youngest son who had to make a series of adjustments. 2020 did not start off on a great note for him. He was supposed to leave for college in January but that ended up getting pushed to Fall of 2020. He quickly adapted and took some college courses at the local college and decided that playing club soccer one last season with the boys he has been with for ten years wasn’t that bad. He had decided that heck why not try to win Nationals this year. They did once before, and the team looked pretty good. He would be leaving for college to start practicing for his college men’s team in July anyway. Then March came. Our school district shut down for what was to be two weeks. I was out of a job temporarily or so I thought. His college classes went online. Soccer practice was put on hold until they could figure everything out. I guess it was good that he did not make it to college in January since he would have been coming home in six weeks had he gone. The two weeks soon became 2 ½ months. Club soccer tried to start getting some practices in and there at one time was talk that we would be playing some games this summer. Our travel schedule spans several states in the Midwest. Covid-19 hotspots started popping up everywhere we were supposed to travel. Soccer fields were closed and locked. That did not deter they boys just jumped fences and hit the fields. Erich had me jump the high school fence so I could take video of him practicing for his college coach. I must admit – it was fun. College soccer was put on pause. The Division 1 athletics is still trying to figure out what they are going to do about the fall. Meanwhile, the boys are moving in August 12th. They will be tested twice when they arrive and once a week for who knows how long. Just recently one D1 school suspended three players and dismissed 3 other players from their soccer team for having an off-campus party where 29 students (most athletes) tested positive with no symptoms. While this may seem harsh student-athletes are given many opportunities that other students do not have; however, they also have a responsibility to behave in manners that other students are not held up to either. I feel the disappointment of my son in not being on the field, trying to practice and maintain his skills. I never played a sport, but I have been there since he started – in the past 15 years this is the longest he has been without playing. He broke his leg and he was only out 4 months before he was back. For me, the toughest part has been seeing the things that he missed that his brother and sister were able to do – prom, senior ditch day, a graduation with the family, his final soccer season, college orientation, getting to go down to school early, and celebrate his birthday with family and friends. As many people say this group of kids started their childhood with 9/11 and ended their childhood with a pandemic. I pray that this does not turn them into weary adults but adults with resilience. Being awakened to the fact that disappointments happen, and adjustments need to be made may just make this group one that will make changes and not be passive about their futures. In the meantime, I still do not know what is happening with my job with the school district. Hopefully, I will know by mid-August if the students are going back in-person or virtual.

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Deborah Legut

2020-08-07