Item

Kelly Cook Oral History, 2020/05/20

Media

Title (Dublin Core)

Kelly Cook Oral History, 2020/05/20

Description (Dublin Core)

This is an oral history interview regarding COVID-19 and its effects on the interviewee and her family and friends.

Recording Date (Dublin Core)

Creator (Dublin Core)

Partner (Dublin Core)

Controlled Vocabulary (Dublin Core)

English
English
English
English

Curator's Tags (Omeka Classic)

Collection (Dublin Core)

Date Submitted (Dublin Core)

07/07/2020

Date Modified (Dublin Core)

10/21/2020
02/26/2021
04/30/2021
09/21/2021
05/06/2022

Date Created (Dublin Core)

05/20/2020

Interviewer (Bibliographic Ontology)

Liza Black
Kelly Cook

Interviewee (Bibliographic Ontology)

Kelly Cook

Location (Omeka Classic)

46241
Indianapolis
Portville
Indiana
United States of America

Format (Dublin Core)

Video

Coverage (Dublin Core)

March 2020-May 20, 2020

Language (Dublin Core)

English

Duration (Omeka Classic)

1:08:17

abstract (Bibliographic Ontology)

This is an oral history interview regarding COVID-19 and its effects on the interviewee and her family and friends.

Transcription (Omeka Classic)

This is not an official transcription, this transcription was created using AI technology.

Unknown Speaker 0:00
Questions are I haven't I haven't seen them. I don't I don't see the data. I haven't looked at this at all. I'm working on a different grant right now. So, okay. You're getting a pure experience here. Okay. Okay. Well, I think this is like my sixth or seventh one. So, um, you know, sometimes if I go through all the questions, it just, it just goes on and on and on. So, I'll probably skip over a lot.

Unknown Speaker 0:27
Okay, so, um, you know who I am. I'm an assistant professor at any university. I'm looking to

Unknown Speaker 0:36
quarantine conversation on Facebook. And we started talking about my new project a little bit. Thank you for being willing to come out of your day off to chat with me.

Unknown Speaker 0:50
Can you sort of introduce yourself and also if you could save the date and time

Unknown Speaker 0:57
that would be great.

Unknown Speaker 1:00
I don't have to open up my trusty map to find out what time it is. And

Unknown Speaker 1:06
the date is. I don't even know what day it is.

Unknown Speaker 1:09
today. I'm Kelly Kirk cook. Okay. Today's date is Wednesday, May 20. And it is currently 1:10pm. Eastern time. And you're in Indianapolis. Right, Indiana. Okay, yeah. And so you gave your name. What are the primary things you do on a day to day basis as in work or extra curricular activities? What do you normally do day to day? Free pads

Unknown Speaker 1:40
during the pandemic, pre pandemic, pre pandemic, okay, so, as you know, I work for the IUPUI Arts and Humanities Institute as an office center. I am also a advocate for women's health justice, and I'm a writer and a film producer.

Unknown Speaker 2:01
So, my child is I'm a I have an only child, as well as two stepchildren. But they are all out of the nest now. So mainly I'm just a dog mom and just a regular, regular citizen. Okay. You said you live in Indianapolis, what is it like where you live? And you can address that any way you like. City neighborhood or, or however you want to address. Sure. So I live just north east of the city, just over the county line in a little small town in Indiana called portville. Indiana. I think there are probably they're under 4000 people here I think. I don't interact much in the community. I just kind of go to work in the city and come home.

Unknown Speaker 2:52
Most of my socializing and my family are in Chicago and my work as a film producer is also

Unknown Speaker 3:02
Yeah, so I don't spend a lot of time in my community from what I can see during this pandemic.

Unknown Speaker 3:10
And from what I've heard, we have scored like a D minus or an F for compliance with social distancing quarantining.

Unknown Speaker 3:20
So when you say What do you mean? Or bill? Or do you mean Indianapolis? Do you mean Indiana? Chicago.

Unknown Speaker 3:28
So, Chicago is completely locked down still. And so I'm hearing stories from my friends. I haven't been home in six months. I haven't been home since Christmas. And from what I understand, I haven't seen any of my friends of course, I talked to them on FaceTime or zoom or you know, just checking in with folks but for the most part, people are compliant there. If you look into just regular newspapers or anything related to Chicago, you'll see tons of videos of people showing empty

Unknown Speaker 4:00
City and all of the landmarks and tourist traps being completely empty. So from what I understand, folks in Chicago are complying.

Unknown Speaker 4:10
opolis Marion County comprises the entire city and they have the worst of the covid 19. And then my home county of Lake, Indiana Lake County, Indiana is the second worst. And then the third worst is Hamilton County which is just north of the city. That would be Carmel fishers. Noblesville, some of those places. We are just adjacent to the east of Indianapolis in Hancock County in Hancock County, not complying. It doesn't seem to have the level of

Unknown Speaker 4:48
disease and, you know, cope accounts that the other counties do. But you know, the whole time kids have been playing in the neighborhood. I can hear them outside playing

Unknown Speaker 5:00
I see neighbors walking around no masks and the very few times that I've had to go to the store or whatever.

Unknown Speaker 5:09
No mask, no social distance. So we have just decided, especially after what we went through as a family early on, we just stay home. We're just quarantine in the house, you know?

Unknown Speaker 5:24
Right. Well, thank you for explaining that. That's really cool, especially

Unknown Speaker 5:30
when you first do remember when you first heard about COVID-19, you remember, get your initial thoughts were about COVID-19. And also

Unknown Speaker 5:42
how your thoughts have changed since then. And I know that's

Unknown Speaker 5:46
for you a big question. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm, like everybody else. I heard about this, you know, shortly after Christmas into January when it was spreading in China was hard, but I

Unknown Speaker 6:00
terribly concerned.

Unknown Speaker 6:02
What happened to me was, so my last day at the Institute in the office normal life was probably March 3 or four.

Unknown Speaker 6:13
I was going to leave for the weekend to go celebrate my mom's 70th birthday in Florida, which I did. I was a little bit nervous about it. But at that time, you know, it just wasn't an issue. We just didn't think about it like that two months ago, three months ago.

Unknown Speaker 6:30
While I was there,

Unknown Speaker 6:32
I started noticing that it was being covered on the news. And there were two cases in Fort Myers. And my mom asked me if I would just stay there. And I said, No, I don't want to do that because I don't, I can't be stuck here. I don't have my laptop. I'm going to go ahead and go home. And that was March my left out of the Fort Myers airport. And notice that during spring break, it was kind of sparse on the fly.

Unknown Speaker 7:00
But you know, there were empty seats and that's very strange. By the time I got to Atlanta flights were being canceled. So this was Monday, March 9.

Unknown Speaker 7:08
flights were being canceled. The plane from Atlanta to Indianapolis was only hafele which was very, very strange. Got to Indianapolis, the airport was not crowded at all. Just in the middle of the afternoon. It was it was eerie. So I went ahead and went home and started worrying. And within a, I never went back to the Institute. I was supposed to go back on Tuesday, March 10. But it just so happened I was sick. I had a cold or had picked something up along the way.

Unknown Speaker 7:44
And I didn't want to go to work. We have a very we've always had a very strict Don't come here if you're sick policy. So ended up going to the doctor on Thursday. No would have been Wednesday.

Unknown Speaker 8:01
They gave me I thought maybe I had the flu. Who knows if I had this virus, I had all these symptoms, and they said they were going to test me for strep, the flu and mono. And it all came back negative. And the doctor came back and he didn't have a mask on. And everybody, everybody had a mask on the whole deal. The PP, you know, just very different from the way they normally do things at my doctor's office, and he didn't have a mask on. He's like, Oh, you have some kind of virus or something. I'm going to give you antibiotics, which I thought was very strange. Just in case it gets bad over the weekend. You can have them and take them which I never did. And I said, Well, do you think this is the virus? He told me? It could be but we don't know there's not a reliable test. And I just was like, Oh my God, he's lying to me. There. It either.

Unknown Speaker 8:56
lying. Yeah, because you know, there was a test for it.

Unknown Speaker 9:00
I just didn't want to waste it on some random broad, you know, some random housewife and you know, guys housewife. So

Unknown Speaker 9:09
I left there. And I was really, really nervous and scared.

Unknown Speaker 9:15
Turned out whatever it was I had ran its course nobody else in my household got sick.

Unknown Speaker 9:21
It was fine.

Unknown Speaker 9:24
So I'm going to, so that's that's basically what life was like leading up to the pandemic. My son was still at school at Ball State, didn't want to come home. He had his 21st birthday that week. You know, he was not interested in coming home at all. By the following Monday, Jason had closed the institute and said, You know, they're probably going to mark closing of us. He's like, we're just not going to take the risk. So there was a question, you know, how it went through the university like, Can everybody work from home who's

Unknown Speaker 10:00
Meet the secure line Do you need to secure into the VPN?

Unknown Speaker 10:04
and everything else? Right? So it was just like utter chaos, trying to get things together. And then that's when things got really weird. You're at my home. So if I can just pause you for a second. So you were really careful with your timeline. It sounds like your last day physically at work face to face you didn't know is going to be your last day. It sounds like you got sick. And because you already have a don't have to work.

Unknown Speaker 10:34
You never went back to work, but you didn't know that the last year at work, right? Many people are in this situation where they didn't know that was the last time they were going out. They didn't know that was the last time they were saying goodbye.

Unknown Speaker 10:46
Okay, so. Okay. Thank you. Yeah, it was very strange. We have a postdoc Jason price, who actually is from Berkeley and you know,

Unknown Speaker 11:00
I had seen him before I left for Florida and never saw him again. And I won't see him again.

Unknown Speaker 11:05
Because the end of his year, yeah, the contract his contracts up this summer and he had gone back to his wife and child who live in Berkeley and was immediately told to shelter in place because they were about a week ahead of us and real. Are you in California now? I am lucky.

Unknown Speaker 11:27
So yeah, so so I don't think I'm ever going to see him in person. Again, which is unfortunate. He's my friend. He has a home here in broad verticals that he sold.

Unknown Speaker 11:39
And they're just gonna pack it up and have their their, you know, their goods shed sent to them sell their car, whatever.

Unknown Speaker 11:48
Yeah, so that's weird. Yeah. for graduate students that graduated the you know, if we ever get to go back to our office, which, of course we will, I won't be working with them anymore. So I

Unknown Speaker 12:00
Didn't know when I left for that trip. I didn't know that that was going to be the last time that I was going to see some of my colleagues. Right. People go here. Excuse me for one second. Yes, sir. Going?

Unknown Speaker 12:13
in the attic. Okay.

Unknown Speaker 12:16
Okay.

Unknown Speaker 12:19
Yes,

Unknown Speaker 12:21
it does. Yeah. So feel free to take apart anything you need to I'm, I'm in the interview that I mentioned. Yeah. Okay, thanks. Okay. Sorry, Lisa. No, no problem. And if I could also just pause on that moment that you were at your doctor's office, which was your primary care physician's office, it sounded like, Okay. Yeah, I was seeing another doctor in the practice. It wasn't my normal doctor. But yeah, it's what I've gone. Do. You do work on women's healthcare? So you're, you're you have an interest and intellectual interest in that. And it sounds like you've you omit certain sort of women's healthcare lens. Do you want to say more about that moment.

Unknown Speaker 13:00
And how you think he seen you? And why he didn't give you a particular a test? Um, yeah, I'm sure it happens to women all the time. And I'm sure it was happening to a lot of people who are this guy's patients. Like I mentioned, this is not my normal physician who is a woman. And I've seen her for 20 years. So she knows me. Perhaps if I had seen her, she might have been willing to give a test. But we found out later that tests were kind of scant. And I don't have the kind of underlying conditions that would necessitate a test.

Unknown Speaker 13:35
Who knows? But for him to say to me, we don't have a reliable test for COVID-19 and this was probably March 11.

Unknown Speaker 13:47
You know,

Unknown Speaker 13:48
I guess that's the first time that I've ever felt like a doctor was not taking me seriously or not.

Unknown Speaker 13:59
Not

Unknown Speaker 14:00
attending to my needs are not telling me the truth. It was very patronizing.

Unknown Speaker 14:05
I will certainly never see that individual again. And I thought it was kind of reckless

Unknown Speaker 14:10
to maybe it's true, they don't have a test. Maybe they don't have a physical test available to them right then and there. But they're reliable tests for COVID-19. So to say to me that there's no reliable test, I just thought that was very strange. And it kind of made me panic a little bit.

Unknown Speaker 14:29
And did you feel like he was concerned about you? Did you feel like he wanted to know if you got worse? Did you get help if you got worse? Not at all. Not at all. If I had gotten worse, I probably would have called my regular physician that's in that practice, but I think she probably would have cared, but I don't think he cared at all.

Unknown Speaker 14:51
It was weird.

Unknown Speaker 14:55
Okay, um, so we were answering the questions.

Unknown Speaker 15:00
Have when you first heard about it, your initial thoughts, and then how your thoughts changed since then, and kind of tied to that is with the surgeon most, what issues have been the most concerning during the panel? And of course, there's probably many, and they're probably interconnected.

Unknown Speaker 15:18
Yeah, I've tried to stay really

Unknown Speaker 15:23
robotic about it. I have a CD that's contamination based, which is I'm controlled by medication, but

Unknown Speaker 15:32
it's really easy for me to get carried away. So I've just tried to be very factual only looking at the science being very mindful of, you know, what emotions might be behind my thinking. So I my main concern is that I would catch it and give it to somebody who can't survive it or catch it be a star

Unknown Speaker 16:00
symptomatic, and then be spreading it. So that's kind of where I come from. I'm not terribly concerned about getting it myself for some reason, but I'm terribly, very concerned about

Unknown Speaker 16:15
possibly infecting one of my friends who's diabetic. I have a friend who is HIV positive. I can't go anywhere near him. Because what if I have it?

Unknown Speaker 16:25
So yeah, so that's why I haven't been seeing my friends at all, because I'm worried about them. Okay, so that, that that issue, damn havior

Unknown Speaker 16:36
to self isolate as much as it sounds like,

Unknown Speaker 16:40
yeah, yeah. And in the beginning, my husband took three weeks off from his job.

Unknown Speaker 16:47
And some of that ended up being bereavement time.

Unknown Speaker 16:50
But

Unknown Speaker 16:52
I've never felt like I have a proper quarantine because eventually my son came home from Ball State when they close their campus.

Unknown Speaker 17:00
So that kind of broke my two weeks. And then when my husband started going back to work, you know, every day, he's very careful.

Unknown Speaker 17:08
But, you know, every day that breaks our social isolation, so I feel like the least I can do is just stay home. If I go out and walk the dog or go to the store, you know, it's gloves, a mask. And I know some of that might be a little extra, but

Unknown Speaker 17:24
I just, I'm terrified that somehow I'll get it and give it to someone else.

Unknown Speaker 17:30
And then they will go through what my family went through.

Unknown Speaker 17:34
Yeah. Do you feel ready to talk about that? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I do. I do.

Unknown Speaker 17:44
Okay. Okay. Um, so, do you think part of your being secure comes from the losses that you've experienced?

Unknown Speaker 17:55
Absolutely. And my husband made me a timeline of what happened.

Unknown Speaker 18:01
You put up again?

Unknown Speaker 18:03
detail. Oh, yeah. He's retired from the military.

Unknown Speaker 18:10
You know?

Unknown Speaker 18:12
totally opposite for me but organized. Yeah. Do you want to follow that timeline? Do you have you got it right there. Do you want to go on that? Yeah, sure. Yeah. So are you ready for me to start that portion or? Yeah. Okay. So um, so my husband is Carrie. these are these are the cast of characters here. So my husband is Carrie cook. His brother, he had the three brothers. The brand of Brandon is the youngest. Carrie is the oldest Brandon is the one who died and Beverly is their mom.

Unknown Speaker 18:47
And I am my husband's second wife. We've been married for almost eight years now.

Unknown Speaker 18:54
His entire family does not live in Indiana. We are both from the same home.

Unknown Speaker 19:01
We've reconnected later in adulthood. But his, his entire nuclear family had moved to Kentucky. And his daughters live in Arkansas with their mother, which was his last case that he was at, that he was stationed at. And they decided they all wanted to stay there. And he decided he wanted to come here.

Unknown Speaker 19:22
So that's how that happened after he retired.

Unknown Speaker 19:27
So looking at Kerry's timeline,

Unknown Speaker 19:30
the first thing, it's really interesting because this is not the way this unfolded in life, but his his timeline is chronological.

Unknown Speaker 19:40
So on 11 March 2020. He says that Governor Bashir asked Kentucky churches to cancel their services amid Corona virus outbreaks.

Unknown Speaker 19:54
And

Unknown Speaker 19:58
maybe it's more what's the most time

Unknown Speaker 20:00
A way to go by his timeline or to tell you like, in my own words, what happened. I think whatever feels best to you, I just want to acknowledge that you've, you know, prepared and prepared. So, whatever feels right to you, if you want to just refer to that as necessary, or maybe look at it, however you want to do it, it's totally okay. Let's do it that way. I'll tell you how this I'll give you a synopsis. And then I'll tell you in detail what happened. So basically, what ended up happening was

Unknown Speaker 20:27
my mother in law is was a devout Pentecostal. And she lived in a very small community in the middle of nowhere in Kentucky, it would have been very one would think that this would be a place that is so isolated that they wouldn't have the virus. Okay. So, as I mentioned before, I'd come home on March 9, and then on March 11, Governor Bashir of Kentucky that searches Don't be meeting don't

Unknown Speaker 21:00
Be congregating. Don't, you know don't do not a lawful order.

Unknown Speaker 21:07
But that's what he said. And he is from that area. He's actually from Dawson springs, Kentucky I believe, and that's where she lived. So, okay. So I would say probably

Unknown Speaker 21:22
on March 11, he did that. And I had been home for about a week or two.

Unknown Speaker 21:28
We got a call on March 24.

Unknown Speaker 21:32
After we'd been home for a while, from my mother in law, Beverly, and she said that Brandon had been admitted to the hospital, diagnosed with COVID-19.

Unknown Speaker 21:44
Brandon had been living with her for about six months, and I think he was 37.

Unknown Speaker 21:51
And, to the best of my knowledge, what happened was he had been sick. sick for a couple weeks.

Unknown Speaker 22:00
And was getting really bad and had some kind of diabetic event. And my mother in law had diabetes and the other brother has it. Nobody knew that Brandon had it.

Unknown Speaker 22:17
So he was basically and ketoacidosis. So by the time they had taken him and gotten him admitted to the hospital, he was already unconscious.

Unknown Speaker 22:27
So they put him in ICU right away. And Beverly said that the health department came by and wanted to know where they had been who they had been in contact with, you know what the situation was? asked her to quarantine. The other brother lives on the property. One of the other brothers lives on the property but not in the house. They were asked to quarantine. And my husband asked her where have you been? Oh, nowhere. Nowhere. Nowhere. I haven't been anywhere. Okay. All right. You didn't go to church.

Unknown Speaker 23:00
No, no. Well, that was not the truth.

Unknown Speaker 23:06
So, after this is now March 24,

Unknown Speaker 23:10
two days later on March 26, six, according to my husband's timeline, Beverly was also admitted to the hospital.

Unknown Speaker 23:20
And they were saying that she had COVID-19 or suspected COVID-19. But he could still talk to her. She was talking on the phone, she was communicating with us. And we were finding out from one of the younger brothers that what was going on in the hospital. So she and Brandon were both in the same hospital. Brandon was in the ICU, totally unconscious, hooked up to a ventilator immediately.

Unknown Speaker 23:50
But we were like, oh, okay, well, you know, he's 3700. All right, you know, and I think that we were in denial that this was happening, and at the time, we didn't know

Unknown Speaker 24:00
We knew what COVID-19 wants, but we didn't know how very little, you know, we we didn't know we're like everybody else we don't know, I'm not an epidemiologist.

Unknown Speaker 24:12
We didn't know. What we later found out was that on March 15, and 16th, my mother in law's church for Pentecostal church, which is called the Star of Bethlehem.

Unknown Speaker 24:27
In Dawson springs, Kentucky, had a church revival with another church in the area, bringing in guests and a guess revivalist from Texas.

Unknown Speaker 24:41
So this is four days after the governor mentioned, we shouldn't be congregating.

Unknown Speaker 24:50
Now, I have seen if you look in the news, if you look this up, if you look up Hopkins County, Kentucky, you'll see I mean, the governor has chest

Unknown Speaker 25:00
Eyes them. This is not a secret.

Unknown Speaker 25:04
But that's what they did. They had a revival. I don't quite I'm not quite clear on

Unknown Speaker 25:11
whether this revival happens every year at this time, or if the revival was done in,

Unknown Speaker 25:20
I guess, reaction to this. I don't know a lot about that.

Unknown Speaker 25:27
I'm not Pentecostal, I'm not even Christian. So I only know kind of ancillary information and anecdotal things about the way this goes in the strip.

Unknown Speaker 25:39
So they were supposed to have a three day revival. But

Unknown Speaker 25:48
I know, I know. This is why I said this gets so crazy. You're not even going to believe this. It's metaphorical snake handling is what it is. Oh my gosh, yeah. Keep going.

Unknown Speaker 26:00
Okay, so um, so these people who knows how many several hundred, I would assume,

Unknown Speaker 26:09
kept meeting

Unknown Speaker 26:11
15th 16th. Well, on the 17th on St. Patrick's Day, Governor Bashir was like no bars or to be open, no restaurant, no more. This is a lawful order, nobody's going anywhere.

Unknown Speaker 26:26
So they canceled their third day of the revival. And this pastor, he leaves and takes off and goes to I believe Louisiana is what I saw on some news appointments or news items.

Unknown Speaker 26:40
So off he went. So he was like, he probably brought this into the community. Because by the time this happened, by the time Brandon was admitted to the hospital,

Unknown Speaker 26:53
another guy had already died. And actually two people and they were saying that

Unknown Speaker 27:00
He worked at GE Aviation, which I think is maybe like a government contractor,

Unknown Speaker 27:07
like a factory or whatever. And he was an old guy. You know, he was he was like new retirement. And

Unknown Speaker 27:15
turns out, he was a member of the church.

Unknown Speaker 27:19
So contact tracing has figured this out. The news has figured this out.

Unknown Speaker 27:25
Okay, so we found out from one of the brothers that, yes, they had been at the revival, both of them. And that's very dangerous for my mother in law because she has diabetes, and she's elderly. She was elderly.

Unknown Speaker 27:40
She was only 16. And I don't know if we consider that elderly anymore. But, you know, she's older. She has underlying health conditions, not the greatest health.

Unknown Speaker 27:49
But Brandon, we didn't expect that from him because, you know, he was only 37.

Unknown Speaker 27:55
So they're in the hospital and

Unknown Speaker 28:00
People start dying. So on March 26, Beverley was admitted to the hospital. And then on March 30, Brandon actually died in the ICU. And they would not allow her, even though they had both had COVID-19. They wouldn't allow her into the ICU to be.

Unknown Speaker 28:22
I don't know why. I don't know if they didn't have the space for that. I don't know if they didn't know enough about, you know,

Unknown Speaker 28:31
who knows why.

Unknown Speaker 28:33
She unlocked on March the 30th.

Unknown Speaker 28:37
She was able to tell us she was able to call us and tell us that Brandon had died. And we knew that his organs were shutting down overnight. We knew that it did not look good.

Unknown Speaker 28:49
She was able to spend a moment and call us and she was obviously very distraught.

Unknown Speaker 28:59
And we both spoke

Unknown Speaker 29:00
To her a moment, and then she said that they were going to sedate her. And that she would talk to us when she woke up.

Unknown Speaker 29:09
And

Unknown Speaker 29:11
that never happened the next day. Oh, Kelly, I'm so sorry. Thank you. Yeah, it was really, it was really hard.

Unknown Speaker 29:21
It was really obviously very hard on my husband. Yeah. And very, very hard on this children. They were very close with their grandmother. And she was a very sweet lady.

Unknown Speaker 29:32
Very nice woman. And

Unknown Speaker 29:35
he didn't deserve this. You know, nobody deserves it, but it was really sad.

Unknown Speaker 29:41
So, it sounds like two very,

Unknown Speaker 29:44
very confusing.

Unknown Speaker 29:48
Just,

Unknown Speaker 29:50
I don't know, how much knowledge she had about what was going on in the community. Right.

Unknown Speaker 29:58
I know that

Unknown Speaker 30:00
Her son, Brandon, the youngest was the third person to die from COVID in their county.

Unknown Speaker 30:08
And obviously, everybody was infected, you know, the same place. So, at this point, we knew that they had been at this revival. And

Unknown Speaker 30:20
we were really upset about it.

Unknown Speaker 30:23
When Brandon died, we were talking to my husband's brother Mike, who was kind of, there's another brother.

Unknown Speaker 30:34
Just family dynamics. There's another brother, the second oldest, my husband doesn't speak with. So the third brother Mike is kind of he's kind of the liaison for the entire family. Everybody loves Mikey. So you know, he's kind of giving out the information. And he did tell us that they'd been at a revival.

Unknown Speaker 30:52
But I mentioned to him in a message that I was I was like, does anybody know who is responsible for

Unknown Speaker 31:00
scheduling this after the governor said no.

Unknown Speaker 31:04
And he very politely, but very strongly shut me down. Because it turns out that he works for the day.

Unknown Speaker 31:17
Right? So sorry, my allergies are so bad today. I'm actually save so you're fine. Yeah. hideous. So, um, he, you know, this is a very small community and people have very close knit relations. I know that this particular brother was not at the revival per se.

Unknown Speaker 31:40
But he knows the people in this community. And his, his partner, later in the day made a very vague statement on her own personal Facebook page about nobody better be pointing the finger at this church. They've lost people and they should be compassionate.

Unknown Speaker 32:00
I think that that was a very

Unknown Speaker 32:05
she knew I was going to see that.

Unknown Speaker 32:07
My husband and I are the only people who don't share the faith.

Unknown Speaker 32:11
So

Unknown Speaker 32:15
okay.

Unknown Speaker 32:16
I was like, I'm just gonna mind my own business here. I had no idea how this was going to turn out at the time.

Unknown Speaker 32:25
So, my mother in law, my brother in law has died.

Unknown Speaker 32:29
It is now.

Unknown Speaker 32:31
March 30. He has died. And the 31st my mother in law was put on a ventilator and they moved her up to ICU. They wouldn't move on to say goodbye to her son. But, you know, once she was on the ventilator, they moved her up there. So for

Unknown Speaker 32:48
nine days,

Unknown Speaker 32:50
we thought she was going to get better.

Unknown Speaker 32:55
They said that they put her on the ventilator kind of

Unknown Speaker 32:59
prophylactically

Unknown Speaker 33:01
I don't know. You know, I don't know how much she was struggling breathing, but I know that our oxygen was dropping.

Unknown Speaker 33:08
But they only had this ventilator at one point they were able to turn it down to like 50% than 40%. And we had every indication that she was going to recover. Everything looked good. Everything looked good until it didn't.

Unknown Speaker 33:26
So, on the morning of April 8, I got up and my husband was home. And he said, Hey, I got a message from my brother and

Unknown Speaker 33:39
I don't think my mom's gonna make it. And I was just gobsmacked. I was like, What like yesterday, it was improving the turn the settings down, she was doing so much better.

Unknown Speaker 33:50
He's like, overnight, she just crashed.

Unknown Speaker 33:55
And this is about 10 o'clock in the morning and about 30 minutes later

Unknown Speaker 34:01
My brother in law called and wanted to know if we wanted to say goodbye to her.

Unknown Speaker 34:11
And I was like, Well, she's not conscious are we going to do? Like I wasn't even putting it together in my head? And he said, Well, if you'd like, the nurse can call you on FaceTime. And you can see her. And you can say goodbye if you want to. Well, of course, we wanted to. We didn't even think about it.

Unknown Speaker 34:29
So

Unknown Speaker 34:31
we did that.

Unknown Speaker 34:33
And we spent about five minutes. And I said, Well, I know that you have other people to call. So she said, Well, we're going to take her off the ventilator.

Unknown Speaker 34:44
When everybody's finished. And I said, she said, Do you want me to call you back? And I said, Yeah, of course.

Unknown Speaker 34:55
And by this time, my husband was just just devastated.

Unknown Speaker 35:00
Just, I mean, just the lights were on, but nobody was home. And he just doesn't have as a person he doesn't have.

Unknown Speaker 35:11
He's not good at showing emotion or experiencing emotion.

Unknown Speaker 35:16
It's, you know, he's a combat veteran. He's already got issues with that. So

Unknown Speaker 35:23
he was I was just like, oh my god, what do I do? You know?

Unknown Speaker 35:27
So, an hour passed, and I thought, well, maybe she didn't make it off the ventilator. And then the nurse called back and she said, Okay, we have we have unconnected, you know, we've disconnected the ventilator. And she's still with us. But, you know, if there's anything you'd like to say, or if you would like to sit with her, you can do that. So I'm getting a FaceTime from an unknown number who turns out to be an ICU nurse and it was like, she kind of showed me her face and I mean, I just

Unknown Speaker 36:00
Never seen. I've seen doctors and TV before. But this was like,

Unknown Speaker 36:05
remember an ET when they set up the time. That's what it looked like. It was scary.

Unknown Speaker 36:12
So

Unknown Speaker 36:14
I sat with her for about 45 minutes while I'm on FaceTime while she died, and

Unknown Speaker 36:23
it was surreal.

Unknown Speaker 36:28
So

Unknown Speaker 36:29
this wasn't the first time that I've sat with a dying person. My first father in law, I helped with his hospice, so I knew kind of what to expect.

Unknown Speaker 36:39
But

Unknown Speaker 36:42
it was really weird. And this was a hospital setting rather than a home setting. So that was weird. And

Unknown Speaker 36:50
what was surreal about it was, I think the nurse might have been trying to help by turning up this really loud, contemporary

Unknown Speaker 37:00
Christian music. And I and my husband wouldn't look at the camera. He was sitting right there, but he didn't want to look. Right then, you know, for 45 minutes, he just sat there. And he was like, I was like, do you want me to ask them to turn that music down? Because it was on Spotify, and it kept breaking in with Spotify commercials, which just, I mean,

Unknown Speaker 37:25
I was just I felt like I was like, leaving my body. I just couldn't stand the racket of this music, this awful music, and then the Spotify commercials and then you've got the hospital noises and, you know, all the noises that come along with that. So she

Unknown Speaker 37:44
my husband said, I know why they're doing that. I was like,

Unknown Speaker 37:49
I'd rather not. But I didn't say anything. I think that, you know, maybe it was her wish, you know, maybe she told who knows. I don't know what they were doing. It was really weird.

Unknown Speaker 38:00
So we we watched her, we watched her pass and the nurse was the ICU nurse, she just kept the camera turned on my mother in law the entire time. And she had a mask on.

Unknown Speaker 38:12
So I could only you know, kind of see her, her eyes which were closed in her hair. And

Unknown Speaker 38:19
she has really peacefully in some ways, I think that she probably

Unknown Speaker 38:26
had been gone for a while, you know?

Unknown Speaker 38:30
So, that's what happened there.

Unknown Speaker 38:35
And then it was just kind of like the nurse was like, okay, we're going to disconnect everything and do everything and you know, I think the nurse for giving us the time because she didn't. She said, that's the first time we've done this.

Unknown Speaker 38:49
No, such a weird thing. And I'm sure she's done it dozens of times since then.

Unknown Speaker 38:54
She didn't know what to do. That was I mean, she's obviously I'm sure. She was very familiar with

Unknown Speaker 39:00
The death process and stuff like that.

Unknown Speaker 39:05
But

Unknown Speaker 39:06
I'm sure she you know, she's not a producer. She doesn't know how to put the camera angles and you know, get the sound right. And so it was surreal. It was very strange.

Unknown Speaker 39:18
So we ended up

Unknown Speaker 39:20
talking with the funeral director

Unknown Speaker 39:25
in the town and she knew my mother in law. She didn't know my brother in law, but she knew my mother in law really well.

Unknown Speaker 39:31
And it was bizarre, because it took

Unknown Speaker 39:36
like two weeks to get them buried. We ended up doing it having a double service.

Unknown Speaker 39:43
But

Unknown Speaker 39:45
there was no

Unknown Speaker 39:48
there was no service really.

Unknown Speaker 39:51
Some guy some kid who had never preached a funeral before.

Unknown Speaker 39:58
said some words

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Date Accepted (Dublin Core)

2020/05/20 3:53:57 PM AST

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