A State of Constant Contradiction

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A State of Constant Contradiction

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Over the past six months we have all found ourselves isolated from our friends, family, communities, and the world we once knew. Society has had to adapt to changes we never expected to happen. Throughout my education, I have been taught about the great tragedies and historic moments that people have faced over past centuries but never imagined that I too, would be living through a moment in time that will be forever talked about in history books. Life since the beginning of the pandemic has not felt real. The world has stopped, yet time is still quickly moving along. In order to stay safe, we must completely isolate ourselves, yet find a way to still live day to day. Follow regulations and guidelines but still have the money to feed, house, and take care of ourselves. The people of the world have had to find a way to stay safe and stay alive. The pandemic has made me feel as though I am in a constant state of contradiction. I have reached a time in my life where everything is changing, and I am constantly evolving. I have never felt better about being out on my own and figuring out who I am, while also feeling stuck, hopeless, trying to manage my crippling mental health and the harsh effects of isolation. Constantly battling between being optimistic versus sinking into a pessimistic hole. I feel like I am thriving in some aspects of my life and deteriorating in so many others. Feeling stuck, yet still trying to be hopeful for the future. Feeling good about accomplishments and milestones in life while also feeling bad knowing that there are people who are being confronted by this deadly virus daily. Every day I feel as though I am faced with a constant dilemma between myself, my mind, and the ever-changing world around me. Nevertheless, I know I am not alone in feeling this way either. Everyone across the globe is also dealing with the ramifications of COVID-19. We are all dealing with the constant moral hypocrisy of knowing that life still has to move forward and that life can be good while also being in utter chaos. I view life right now as a fine line that we are slowly treading. However, one day we will look back and realize we have crossed it, confident in knowing that we are alright.
My own free flow thoughts

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This item was submitted on September 17, 2020 by Mikayla Mignerey using the form “Share Your Story” on the site “A Journal of the Plague Year”:

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