Items

• 2021-10-06

  The Desperate Cling

  When the pandemic hit the small town I resided in March of 2019, the aftershock evoked a hopelessness that was unexpected. Growing up learning “stop, drop, and roll,” I presumed catching on fire was going to be much more problematic than pathetic trauma that has consumed my generation. In seventh grade, my school spent the day watching planes hit the towers on 9/11. Then that night watching the strength of my single mother dwindle while recording the news on VHS tapes. I believed my resilience created from the past had prepared me to get through this pandemic. I was much less resilient than I had anticipated. I worked as a barista in a grocery store and had seen the hatefulness and treatment this once friendly town provided. Before moving to this small town I would visit in the summer and found it difficult to understand how perfect strangers could treat each other like lifelong neighbors. The cloud that had fallen upon this town was shocking. 6am when the grocery doors opened I would watch what seemed to be half the town race with carts, baskets and bags to the designated “hot spots.” (Toilet paper, rice, beans, and bread) I watched as my co-workers were interrogated by their neighbors over product. My coffee kiosk was quiet compared to what it had been and that gave me time to observe the change in demeanor from my co-workers as well. The emotional exhaustion of their own fears along with half of the town coming in to dump their fears and baggage onto them as well; The physical exhaustion of working 60-70 days, pushing product and covering shifts. It was a mad house. It was hard to see the toll on such a warm and friendly town. Customers, co-workers, strangers would indulge dark, inappropriate and ugly opinions I had never expected, especially not in this sleepy town. I could feel the darkness and fear of other steeping into myself. It became difficult to be patient and interact with others. By the end of the day I would be so emotionally spent from pushing myself to be a courteous light for a beacon of all that sadness. I was bitter for this, finding it difficult to cling to my hope in humanity. I wasn’t anticipating this type of reaction from society when faced with such a colossal disaster like the world had reacted after 9/11. So in a way, I think I was resilient to the events but I was unprepared for the worlds reaction.
• 
  2021-10-06

  Moving from Turkey to the United States During a Pandemic

  This story describes moving a family from Antalya, Turkey to the United States during the pandemic of 2020/2021. It attempts to enlighten the reader to the types of issues people are dealing with and how it can change a person and reveal who people are.
• 2020-03-19

  Life during Pandemic

  Life during pandemic has been crazy. From schools getting shutdown mid semester to half of the population in the world getting laid off from their job. The pandemic for me started when the schools got shutdown mid semester. University's and colleges went online during pandemic but high schools got shut down till the end of the year. I was a high school senior when the pandemic started. I was really happy at first to get a couple of days off from school, but the couple days turned into weeks and eventually in months. This would have been my high school graduation, the moment I had been waiting for years. But because of pandemic, almost no one from class of 2020 get to celebrate their graduation, the way they wanted. A couple of months after graduation, i went to start university. But it was not the university experience I imagined for myself. ASU went all online with zoom classes from home. I tried getting involved to see if that can make a difference in my college experience, but the involvements were also all online. One thing I learned during this whole pandemic was how important in person learning was. I did hear a lot of people complaining about not learning anything though zoom, but It actually happened to me. I had to use twice as much time going over lectures and quizzes than I would usually do. Because I would get distracted easily. On the other hand, during pandemic I also had a part time retail job. Even though half of the population in the U.S got laid off from their job, I actually worked double the shift during pandemic than I would normally work. I started working full time since the pandemic started till last month august, when the classes started in person. I did get to save tons of money to buy a car for myself. Thankfully during pandemic, no one from my family got covid-19, and we were all really safe. Overall, the pandemic was a crazy yet really wonderful experience for me because I not only learned importance of small things in our lives but also learned to always stay in touch with our family member and friends because you never know what will happen next.
• 
  2021-10

  A fitness lovers life during a pandemic in the UK

  It describes how I struggled during the pandemic as I was not able to do what I love doing the most: training.
• 
  2021-10-05

  COVID-19 vs. Me

  My story is raw and surely relatable by many of my peers. It captures the pandemic driven adversity I had dealt with during my senior year of high school as well as through my freshman year in college. It also includes a reflection that highlights our recent societal progression into a more normal and pandemic-free near future. This submission was simply meant to be another story regarding how COVID-19 has promoted upheaval and destruction in the lives of so many while reflecting on the current somewhat-improved state of the pandemic.
• 
  2020-09-08

  A Covid-19 road trip

  I have submit a photograph of the cable car below me surrounded by fog in the Redwood Forest in California. This is fond memory of mine in the midst of Covid-19.
• 
  2021-10-05

  Life During a Pandemic

  This is a brief look into life during the pandemic and how society has changed as well as what I have learned about the world and myself throughout the last two years. This is important to me because history is a great way to learn more about where we are today, if I am able to contribute to giving an insight to future generations about how our lives were affected by the global pandemic, I would be happy to do so.
• 2021-10-04

  They said we were heroes but they treated us like villains

  My experience with the covid 19 pandemic was very different from a lot of people’s. Instead of staying home and not going outside, I had to work. I wasn’t a nurse or doctor or even a service industry employee. I did work in health care but registration. I also didn’t work at an ER or hospital. I worked at an urgent care that didn’t treat covid but did test for it. This urgent care was also in the middle of Los Angeles, California. I was doing patient registration in Los Angeles, California, at the peak of the pandemic when one in every three people had covid. Since we were so understaffed and overworked, I easily worked about 60 hours every week for almost a year. Now I’ve worked many jobs throughout my adult life. These include retail during Christmas, a theme park during summer and Halloween haunts, and the graveyard shift at a casino. Out of all those, the worst people and treatment I encountered were from the patients who wanted to be tested for covid 19 when we ran out of tests. We were a private company, and Los Angeles had multiple free test sites available to anyone in the LA area. You didn’t have to even to be a resident or have insurance. But none of that mattered; they were there and wanted to be tested. Even though it was 9 o’clock at night and we ran out of tests over four hours ago. I know I’ll always be able to find an administration or clerical job in health care. I have over ten years of experience in that field. But, after what I went through during covid, I don’t think I will ever work in health care again. Every time someone says health care works are heroes, all I can think is, they have a funny way of showing it.
• 2021-10-04

  Restaurant Employees' Experience during COVID-19

  Restaurant Employees’ Experience during COVID-19 The norms of life pre-COVID are not the norms we are experiencing now. We all get accustomed to our ways of living, and then our lives have changed in a blink of an eye. I am a server in a restaurant and walk out each shift with cash in my hands. March 19, 2020, my life changed. I was a college student that lived day today when it came to my income, and for six weeks, I did not have an income to help with the bare necessities of living. However, I was very fortunate that my parents were the lucky ones that still had jobs, and they were able to help me until the restaurants opened back up. I have learned the importance of saving money. The experience of working in a restaurant during COVID-19 was unlike any experience I had in the past. Everyone was required to wear a mask, and the interaction with the guests was unnatural. The guests not being able to see our expressions and not hearing us clearly, I felt we lost the customer service our guests expected. It was challenging to breathe with the masks as the restaurant industry is fast-paced, and at times we would get overheated, nauseous, and did not feel well. I was always ready to go home so I could take off my mask. To-go sales now are a much more significant part of the restaurant business. The challenge with the increase in to-go orders is the design of the kitchens. They are designed to handle the projected sales based on experience, and when to-go sales became unlimited, the time to prepare meals doubled in time, and guests were unhappy. Many did not understand that the kitchen can only produce some much product per hour. It eventually got to the point that the restaurant would have to turn off their phones because the kitchen was at the maximum number of orders that they could produce. Trying to keep the guests happy was a challenge. If we took unlimited to-go orders, then the cook times were doubled. However, if we limited the number of to-go orders, the guests would also be unhappy. It will be interesting to see if the restaurant industry gets back to the norms of pre-COVID.
• 2021-10-04

  Plague and Faith

  I began the Plague Year in the heartland of the United States: Rogers, Arkansas. I was towards the end of my two year term of service for my church, which was my full time job from 2018-2020. After spending nearly two years focusing wholeheartedly on Christian and spiritual concepts such as redemption, outreach, transcendence, faith, repentance, covenants, and endurance, my mindset going into the pandemic was admittedly a spiritual one. More specifically, I saw the pandemic as a growing opportunity for the whole world. The key, I thought, was that the coronavirus doesn't discriminate: It can infect you regardless of your race, socioeconomic status, social class, sexual preferences, or gender identity. It is a threat to everyone. Although we later learned that the disease, in fact, does affect people disproportionately, this one tenet of my philosophy- that it poses a threat to everyone- still stands. With this in mind, coupled with my heavily Christian, and moreover religious perspective, I viewed the advent of the coronavirus as a lesson that humanity had the opportunity to learn from. Whether they would take that opportunity, I couldn't say at the beginning, as I had recently seen examples that bolstered my faith in humanity, and also ones that degraded it. This was particularly interesting to consider immediately after exiting the 2010s, a period that many Americans and people of the world view as a tumultuous one. What I can say, however, is that I was optimistic. Even if a divisive political climate, humanitarian crises across the world, the longest war in American history, and a widespread mental health crisis couldn't jumpstart people's empathy for one another, hopefully a worldwide pandemic could. Looking back after 18 months of plague, I would say that I have observed mixed results. In very visible ways, the world, and particularly the United States, has become considerably more divisive. I look at the rise of conspiracy groups, the charged conversations I've observed related to masks or vaccines, the storming of the capitol, or the events that led to the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone, and I think that the pandemic has only served to stress people beyond their breaking point. I am disappointed. Now that I am much more involved at a secular institution, in a state university, and much less involved in my church, I often fall into skeptical and even cynical thoughts lamenting humanity's inability to learn a lesson. I revile at the unchecked pride that rules the lives of so many. I look around and see many who would rather be "right" than be objectively correct. These people are my friends, family members, former mentors, and authority figures. Like the Coronavirus, these shortcomings of character have the ability to affect anybody. I would like to say that I have seen the same results on the other side, that I have seen enough examples of individual acts of courtesy and kindness to offset the vitriol, but I don't know that I can. I also don't know if I can't in good conscience make that observation, the proverbial jury is still out on that one. That will take more time to see. True change is something that stands the test of time, which we haven't had the luxury of observing yet. While the hate, cynicism and conflict that I have previously mentioned are very visible, and immediately announce themselves, change in the perspectives and hearts of people is more of a slow and gradual process, especially considering that the pandemic is not over. I hope to observe in later years that this pandemic defined our generation in a positive way, the same way that our progenitors gained appreciation and humility and grit from the great depression. I know that I, for one, have made efforts to do the same. I suppose that this all comes back to faith- faith that I have that this will one day be worth it. Although my life is a lot more secular these days, I retain the same faithful perspective that I gained volunteering with my religious organization for 2 years, the one that I had at the beginning of the Plague. It has not broken me, and deep down, I don’t truly believe that it’s broken the collective “us”, either.
• 
  2021-10-04

  Before & After

  This is a quick reflection on some aspects of how life is different now due to covid-19.
• 
  2020-08-27

  Playing D1 Athletics during the Covid Pandemic

  I am on the women’s soccer team at Arizona State University, and the world’s way of handling sports during the pandemic was ever changing and interesting to say the least. This photograph depicts me playing soccer outside while fully masked. At the start of the pandemic, all sports were put on a complete hold and all athletes were sent home. The next progression was that we were able to return to campus, however we must practice fully masked and maintain no contact with other athletes. As you can imagine, running sprints in August in Arizona was no easy feat, but nobody complained and everyone was just happy to get back on the field. Within a couple of months, we were able to resume contact, remove masks, and play against other schools as long as weekly testing was enforced. As the year has progressed and vaccinations have become readily available, the restrictions for vaccinated individuals have been almost completely lifted and testing is no longer required. This pandemic has completely changed my outlook on sports and life in general. It is so easy to dread the early morning practices, the hard team workouts or count down the days until your next off day. However, once those things are completely taken away from you, you truly realize how lucky you are to even be on the field in the first place. This pandemic, in all that it has taken from us, has given me a sense of appreciation for all the little things that I used to dread. I find myself being much more optimistic in the hard moments than I was before, and I have been able to be much more grateful for the opportunities that I have been given. I truly do think that this lesson will carry over into my life beyond athletics, and that I will have a different outlook on seemingly dreadful tasks. You never know when a global pandemic could suddenly put your life on hold.
• 
  2021-10-04

  How Covid-19 Has Changed My Life

  The reflection that I have uploaded is a short summary of the biggest impacts Covid-19 has had on my life. This was the first time I've had the opportunity to share how Covid-19 has affected my life and I hope my experience helps others understand what life was like during these times. This submission is important to me because I want people 50 years from now to be able to read this and know how this pandemic has changed the world and how adaptable humans can become.
• 
  2021-05-30

  Remembering Society's Humanity

  This is a story about being a pregnant person during the pandemic
• 2020-08-31

  My Story

  I was in the military and on the opposite side of the country as my family when the pandemic began to take hold. Heavy restrictions were applied to those of us who were living on the base where I was stationed. At first the leaders within my organization said that restrictions would be temporary and would dissipate soon, if they were followed. The restrictions that we were required to follow were as follows: we couldn't leave the base, unless it was for essential travel (i.e. groceries), we could not be within six feet of each other, and we could not go into our friends rooms. While these restrictions were for our own good, it greatly reduced the quality of life for myself and my friends, because we could not hangout together like we used and most of our families were hundreds of miles away. Additionally, leave to go home was not being approved because of the restricted movement that was put in place. Eventually, the supposedly beneficial rules that were set in place to protect us, turned out to produce more scorn and hate for the people who made them, who didn’t care follow them, than they did good. After months of living like this, the rules became loose enough for people, who were from out of town, to come and visit. This being said, life for the first four or five months of the pandemic were full of totalitarian rules and heartache. Overall, life in the beginning of the pandemic was bleak and grey without any vision of color for the future. In August of 2020, my then fiancée and family were able to travel across the country to see me. The relief that I felt to be able to see my loved ones was indescribable and much needed. When they were in town, my wife and I got married and we were able spend a week with our families before they left for California. While, the relief that I felt was overwhelming and fantastic, I would never want anyone to live in forced separation from their loved ones, no matter the cost.
• 
  2020-09-27

  Views From Quarantine

  On September 3, 2020, I was notified by a friend that I had come in close contact with someone who had tested positive for COVID-19. I then spent the next 14 days in quarantine, not once leaving my room. Since I live and work in the Taylor Place dorms, I immediately notified the community directors and was placed in a quarantine dorm where I could be separated from my roommate. Despite testing negative for COVID-19 and not having any symptoms, I still needed to quarantine for 14 days as a precaution according to ASU Health Services. Being confined by empty white walls and only being able to see slivers of the sky made the loneliness even more apparent. Although my camera was the first thing I packed, it took me until the ninth day to find the motivation to pick it up. I began photographing the things I could see from my dorm or my “Views from Quarantine.” Using a long lens, I had residents pose in their windows in ways that expressed their personalities. With every photo, I felt less and less alone. I began to realize how important it is for people to see what it meant to quarantine in the dorms. So I also began photographing my meals and room. At the end of it, I put together a photo story, “Views from Quarantine,” that was published in The State Press. It is probably one of my proudest accomplishments so far.
• 
  2021-10-03

  Losing is not losing

  I believe we have all lost a lot during this last year. Loss of normalcy. Loss of community. Loss of family and friends. At the beginning I'm sure a lot of people thought the world was gonna end. And in a way it did. Our old world died as we are currently creating a new one. New babies are entering this world with a new chance. another chance to make the world a better place. Another chance to create a new world. They are seeing people for the first time. Yes we loss last year. But we also gained. As the poem states, the art of loosing isn't hard to master.
• 
  2021-10-03

  A Century Later

  A look at a global pandemic from a 21st century American point of view, nearly a decade after the last pandemic of the world.
• 
  2020-12-25

  Pandemic Christmas 2020

  This is a polaroid photo of my family getting together on Christmas day in 2020. We are all wearing masks because some of us have more hazardous occupations that may have exposed us to covid. We had been tested but wanted to err on the side of caution. We thought it would make a good picture, and wanted to document our lives during the pandemic.
• 
  2021-10-03

  Ending High School at the Beginning of a Pandemic

  All of the fun memories that are normally reminisced upon later were replaced with stories of disappointment. My last two months of high school were basically stolen from me. COVID-19 stole the fun events that I deserved and worked twelve hard years for. A time that should have been filled with excitement and fun-filled memories with friends turned into memories of disappointment and separation. Everything that I was looking forward to at the end of high school was canceled. There was no in-person school, all sporting events, senior trips, prom, and graduation were canceled. The world turned virtual. I spent my days attending classes through Zoom not being able to truly interact with my classmates. I missed going out to get lunch with my friends and walking down the hallways talking about how much homework we got. I could not leave my house until the day came where we had to wear masks and social distance. My “prom” consisted of taking pictures with my friend and eating dinner at home rather than dancing the night away. My final goodbye to my teachers consisted of a drive-by car parade where we decorated our cars and were cheered on from afar. My graduation turned into a silent, empty auditorium allowing one parent or guardian to record me walking across the stage and receiving my diploma. I was extremely jealous that my Class of 2019 friends, just the year before, got the opportunity to experience all of the things that I didn’t. As a junior, I assisted the senior dessert and I remember how excited I was to be able to participate in it for my senior year. The disillusionment hit me when my senior dessert was driving to Crumbl Cookies, grabbing my cookie, and going home. All of these activities should have happened in-person surrounded by the smiling faces I’ve spent four years seeing, but instead I got a pandemic.
• 
  2020-10-28

  The Minimum Wage Spotlight

  The photographic story I've uploaded is about my [family member], Andres, who even with the pandemic at its worst peak, in 2020, had to continue in his job. He's an Arizona field laborer, a key worker for the farm he works in. The conditions are difficult, with a minimum wage that doesn't match the amount of work he does. As the photos indicate, his job can start at a very early time when the sun hasn't even risen. His job usually lasts 12 hours, so when it's the night shift, he doesn't come back till the morning hours. There are weeks when he has to stay inside a hot tractor for hours and there are other days when he has to do a lot of moving and carrying around. Due to the difficult weather Arizona may have, there’s a constant danger of heatstroke especially since a lot of his work includes physical labor. Looking deeper, these pictures of the work Andres does feels like a representation of the unequal power there is in the minimum wage system. Here we have a field laborer, who due to lack of education and financial resources growing up, wasn’t able to reach for higher positions that require degrees. He grew up in a poverty-stricken family and alongside being a Latino immigrant, opportunities were few and far between so in order to assure he keeps himself and his family fed and sheltered, so he’s forced to continue a job that doesn’t contain the best conditions or pay. This is only emphasized within the pandemic, minimum wage workers forced to continue working in bad conditions including the risk of getting sick because, in order to keep their head above water, they must. And yet, even with all the dangers and the long hours, their pay doesn’t reflect the job. This also connects to race, minorities most of the time stuck in these places due to the disadvantages they grew up with and continue to face. It’s the life of an individual who is input in a life in which already starts with less compared to privileged others, and then a pandemic hits which only emphasizes the disadvantages already there. Overall, the pandemic truly has put a spotlight on the many issues society already had.
• 
  2021-04-23

  The Effects of Covid-19 Through the Eyes of a Pre-Med Undergraduate Student

  My reflection is to bring awareness of the increasing divide of our country through the impact of a pandemic . This is important to me because I believe that it affects the way we approach and solve global issues. My hope is that this reflection will give insight of the major issues that have occurred throughout this pandemic, and inspire those in the future to create possible solutions.
• 
  2021-04-24

  The Devastating Pandemic

  I have been witness to some really traumatic life events. This has made me experience the pain and agony of individuals and their families during this pandemic. This has also made me grateful for keeping me and my family safe.
• 
  2021-04-23

  The Face Mask

  At the beginning of the pandemic, a surgical mask was not something we thought about daily. As cases began to rise and people began to get sicker and sicker a mask was the most wanted item in the world. All around the news and internet, we would hear not to leave our house without a mask or be around other people without one. This lead everyone in the world to be on the hunt for masks. The next thing we knew everywhere masks would be sold out or on backorder and people began to panic. Mask at the beginning of the pandemic was very hard to get your hands on but as time went on businesses got more interested in mass-producing masks and saw to take the opportunity to make a whole lot of money on a needed item. We can now see masks being sold in every store from corner stores to grocery stores and even designer brands like Saint Laurent Paris. Businesses saw the opportunity to make a lot of money on items that were needed by consumers every day but they knew consumers would buy them because nowadays people want to match them with their outfits. These masks have become such an essential part of our daily lives that we no longer reach for our keys before we leave we look for our masks. Although there are many people who follow the mandatory rules of wearing masks there are still many others that believe wearing a mask is taking away their freedom. It is unbelievable to think that a simple cloth that goes over your face that can protect the lives of many others and yours has become such a controversial and important part of our everyday life when it was never something that affected us before March 2020
• 
  2021-04-23

  Covid as a first responder

  How the pandemic effected me personally at home and at work
• 
  2021-03-15

  Dear, COVID - Sincerely, NYC

  Dear COVID, You tried to break us. You were rampant. You were brutal. You did not discriminate. You were careless. You hit NYC hard, and didn’t stop. You stormed through our diverse neighborhoods. Our middle class and hard working people. Our less-fortunate. Our most vulnerable. Our elderly and incapable. We became the epicenter at one point, and it didn’t stop there. You halted our way of life. You shut down our small businesses. Our restaurants. Our bars. Our necessities and invaluable operations. Our transportation systems. You divided families and friends. You caused us to feel lonely and scared. Worried. You put people out of work. You ruined lives. You murdered many. But, we’re still here. And we aren’t going anywhere. We fought back. We’re still fighting back. You haven’t gone anywhere, but we’ve learned to live with you. For now. We have regained some aspects of our way of life. We continue to support each other in times of need. We support our small businesses and give back to our communities. We are finding ways to comfort each other and be with one another again. We are being smart. We are being considerate to others and continue to do so. You may still be very present in our everyday lives, but not for long. We will come back from this, stronger than ever. Thank you for showing us what we are made of. Sternly, NYC COVID has been tough on us in the States, more particularly in NYC. This virus is ruining many lives and is still very present. NYC has been affected in many ways, and still continues to be. This has something our city has never had to experience. Unfortunately, the process has been very slow. However, with vaccinations, and herd immunity, we shall get through this and bring back our city with a bang. My family and I have been very fortunate thus far and I always try my best to find ways to give back and support local businesses and families that have been hit hard. I believe everyone should do this to the best of their ability in a time like this. Through all this, we as a city is still standing strong and our will is not broken. The photo attached is a small glimpse of ways we are getting by while also be weary of our actions. You can see a couple enjoying their time at a restaurant, while in the reflection, a stranger wearing a mask and being mindful of other’s health.
• 
  2021-04-23

  Difficulty set to hard

  This is based on my personal experiences. I started off 2020 by having just separated from my wife, such that we were both looking for divorce. This can lead to many difficulties even in a normal setting, but it took the normal difficulty of the things I was going through and turned it up a few notches. I started the year off without a job, car, or place to live. I was able to move in with my mom and take care of the housing situation temporarily by living in her front room. I then had to start looking for jobs. I found a job through a temp agency to get me back on my feet. Eventually, it became time for my to find a more permanent job better suited to the path forward I wanted in life. My last day of work at the temp job was right before spring break. I had planned on taking care of life things during spring break, before looking for another job shortly thereafter. There were no jobs. So many businesses closed during and after spring break, that the number of people desperate to get money for rent and necessities, took all available jobs almost instantly. I spent nearly 2 months looking for another job. Eventually I was forced to cave, simply because what should have been adequate amounts of money while looking for a job, was used up in the wait. I not only had to take another temp job, but the only ones available were jobs with a high rate of people leaving them. So I worked at one of the worst jobs I have had the displeasure of working. In that process, there was an instance of covid starting to spread through the factory. So this factory with over 1000 workers, made a mandatory covid test for it's workers, and sent us all home for a week. Anyone who's test came back positive, had their id rejected at the turnstyle when we resumed work. Unfortunately my body couldn't take the hours required for this job. And so I was forced to leave it also. And in doing so, I was no longer able to stay with my mother. So for the second time in a year, I was jobless and homeless. And this time, the root cause was covid. I went to stay with my aunt. But my grandmother and grandfather are particularly elderly and vulnerable, so everyone there was on high alert and wary about covid. So I was quarantined for an entire week to one room so that I would be able to be monitored for any symptoms. Shortly thereafter I was back on the hunt for a job that would help me progress forward in life. But yet again, even in a completely different area of Oklahoma, there weren't any jobs to be had. I was only able to push myself like that for a month before I looked for another solution. I had a friend, who would lend me his couch even on a permanent basis if needed. So I took him up on that offer. And I moved from Oklahoma to California. That drive was more or less the most impactful part of covid to me. I had seen the roads get empty on my way to/from work as people had stopped non-essential travel. But Oklahoma didn't have an enforced mask mandate. We could still go to the store, or pay for gas for our car, without being required to wear a mask. Many businesses still had indoor dining even. But in that trip, the realization of the impact of covid, hit me. It was at the only gas station for 20 miles in either direction in the mojave. I walked up to the door to go in and pay for gas. And for the first time that year, I saw a sign saying masks were required to enter. After that, every other location I stopped at was the same. There were no more places I could go without a mask. Covid, was having a real and significant impact on other things in the world than just jobs, and people's financial struggles. After having made it to California, in a particularly populated area with plenty of jobs, I was still unable to find a job for two months, simply because of how the rest of the year had gone for me. Simply by requiring a stable work history, I was no longer able to apply for most jobs. Finally I did get a job. I got one in the food industry. And the impact of covid hit hard there too. After having finished my training, and worked for about a week, the state mandate came that closed both our indoor dining. A month later, outdoor dining followed suit. We weren't allowed to take drinks back to add things we may have forgotten, and instead had to remake them entirely, because of covid safety precautions. I've had my temperature taken every single work day since I started, which was unheard of in times before covid. Twice, we've shut down the store because a partner tested positive for covid, and everyone that worked with them was placed in a mandatory two week quarantine. The impact is so strong, that the company is even providing 2 hours paid time for both doses of the vaccine, as incentive to get vaccinated. It's clear to see, covid has had an incredibly strong impact on life, and turned the difficulty level of many peoples lives up beyond manageable levels.
• 
  2021-04-23

  The Dorbin Journey

  This past year has brought many challenges with it for almost everybody. For me, and my family, this past year has brought equal challenges and blessings (although they usually appeared as blessings in disguise initially). Throughout the pandemic, I achieved great things at work, ended up quitting that job, started helping my family's business, experienced deep trauma after my wife was assaulted by a friend, navigated the legal system amid Covid-19 to seek justice, experienced justice being denied first-hand, worked through the grief caused by the denial, and then came out the other side of the trauma with an even stronger relationship, and I experienced a continued strain on all of my relationships caused by the distance required by quarantine. For me, this pandemic didn't greatly affect my work-life - I still had to physically work the entire time - but it changed the way all of the people around me lived. This was difficult, of course, because change is scary, but the change also became a catalyst for myself and others to change ourselves for the better. Personally, work got harder as tensions rose throughout the pandemic, and while dealing with the backlash of these tensions was difficult, this opened my eyes to the fact that I truly wasn't happy at work. I enjoyed the people I worked with, but I didn't enjoy the work or the product of my work. So, while I was grateful for the opportunity, the stress brought on by the quarantine woke me up to the realization that it was time for me to move on. There are many things that this pandemic brought, and while I wish I could elaborate on all of them, the short version of the long story, is that it was a traumatic event for everyone, but after working through the trauma, many of us found blessings in disguise or used the stress to give us the courage to change.
• 
  2021-04-23

  The COVID-19 Pandemic From An Introverts Point of View

  The global pandemic that started in 2020 has been extremely hard on a lot of people, especially extroverted people that need social interaction to feel normal. I feel I am incredibly lucky in this regard as I enjoy my solitude without the hustle and bustle of social activities. When the pandemic started back in March 2020 and we all were advised to stay inside to help combat the virus it was the easiest task in the world for me. I personally practice social distancing in general since I don’t enjoy people being in my personal bubble and I also dislike being around large groups due to personal anxiety. So overall when this all started, I honestly did not notice a big change in my life. One thing I did notice was that people in my phone and on my friends lists through various platforms were suddenly super active in their messages being sent to me. I can empathize with others in this regard because even introverted people like to engage in social activities every now and then. Another big thing I noticed was all my favorite software got major updates and were revamped due to so many people now working from home many companies actually saw their productivity explode in 2020 while wonderful it is very sad to see companies not giving their workers more options to work from home now in 2021 despite seeing boosted productivity. I was also able to go shopping for groceries with less crowds which to me was a nice thing to not be surrounded by so many people as I would be in any other situation. I also really like wearing masks when its cold out because it keeps your face from being hit by harsh cold winds and you kind of feel like a Mortal Kombat character. Now that things are getting a bit more under control with more vaccines out in the public space and people going back to work, I hope people who need to socialize get the chance to do so. I will also remember 2020 because so many people globally did not live to see 2021, I feel fortunate that my family and I made it through 2020 in one piece.
• 
  2021-04-23

  The Paradox in the Pandemic

  The numbers increase as time goes on. Every month more people catch COVID-19 and more pass away each second that ticks away on the clock. Allah calls out to me. He calls for me to pray. And yet I have never prayed before. Mosques closed for teaching. COVID-19 restrictions on how many people may enter the sacred place to pray. Yet I feel a deeper connection to Allah than I have in all my life. Months of distracting myself from the world around; I turn off the news and look away when I hear the numbers. I bury myself in books and my studies to try and numb the pain. How horrible it is to feel that any time I leave my house I could have just risked someone’s life. The coffee shop stays open and selling more than before because we are “essential.” And to Allah I cry out: “Why now? What have we done to deserve this pain?” But He stays patient and continues to guide me. “Come to me my child. Come pray. You will see.” The aching in my chest does not go away. How? How can I pray there is nobody to teach me, nobody to lend a hand? Countless hours searching and researching trying to find the path that He has set out for me. I make mistakes and try again. I fail and fall but I always get pushed back up to try once more. We are divided and far apart from one another. Ramadan and Eid spent alone. Praying alone. Learning alone. Always isolated and alone. However, not once did I feel lonely. Like the warmth and weight of a blanket wrapped around me He guides me. I pray and pray for those around me like millions do around the globe. I pray for myself, for my family, for those I will never get the chance to meet. I pray and I hope for this to go away. For the pain to heal and for us to come together once more. A community rebuilt in the ashes and from sorrow we get stronger. Allah please accept our prayers.
• 
  2021-04-23

  Bored People Care More

  The pandemic created a rift among people. Everyone’s lives were up hauled and not many people found themselves living the life they didn’t think they were going to live. People have been getting sick, people have been dying, and the negativity this plague has brought has only multiplied in society. I believe one of the main issues for the negativity, hate, and chaos we’ve seen in the country this past year is because people are bored. Not just bored and wondering what to do this afternoon during the plague, but the kind of bored that results when that thought repeats itself every day for months on end. And with nothing better to do, and no hope to be found, people start to look for something believe in. Everyone has become more hard-set on their beliefs, and voices have gotten exponentially louder. Left-leaning people find community in the fight for justice and equality. The protests and rallies have been bigger. Without much else in life going on to care about, people can care more about the overall issues they believe matter. Right-wingers found themselves deep in the fan club of President Trump. Their voices got louder, more arguments and fights began to break out among people. The election was a bigger deal with a bigger turn out than the nation has ever seen. The country felt very divided, yet at the same time, people were coming together more than we’ve ever seen. With the pandemic came a wave of loneliness among many people, attributing to why so many have so comfortable found their place in the political group they believe in. It’s a community in public life when there’s no public life to really find a community in during a pandemic. The issues of gender, race and power have all been largely argued over as a result of this newfound divide. Overall, I believe the country can be better off now that the pandemic has focused people on such societal issues, as getting people to care and getting people to make a stand is the way to make change happen. And then on the religious side of things, many religions have found a deeper sense of community as people come together in hopes of connecting and caring throughout the plague. These voices prove to be heard, too, usually coming from the right-wing side of the divide, complicating the progressive movements that left-wingers campaign for, movements which ordinarily would be understood as in accordance with the faith and ideals of many religions. 
 This results in a lot of complicatedness, arguments among people, and chaos in the country. It’s a difficult time, but it’s a time of growth for everyone. For everyone in the public sphere to figure out what they believe in, and hear the voices of others. After the pandemic is over, and many people have gone back to caring about other things in life, maybe people will evolve their ideals with an open mind and open the nation to more active discourse and change going forward.
• 
  2021-04-22

  Life During COVID-19

  What has life been like for me during COVID-19? Well this photo pretty much sums it all. For this past year, I have spent the majority of my time on my computer which mainly consisted of it being completing work for my classes and watching TV shows during my spare time. The gyms were closed. I couldn’t eat at the restaurant my family and I go to every Thursday anymore. And seeing other family and friends became very limited as well, so I was alone by myself most of the time. The beginning of this pandemic was very difficult for me as my lifestyle changed drastically. I am a little bit of a procrastinator and when you have a nice comfy bed next to you 24/7, it makes it really hard to do things. But I understood that life goes on, so it is up to me to keep on moving forward. And that is exactly what I did. During this pandemic, I felt I was really able to focus and improve myself. I have become a more productive person and it has really helped me in finishing my classwork and doing other daily tasks. It has relieved some of that unnecessary stress that was on me that I had put on myself before this pandemic. At home, I didn’t have any weights to work out, so I decided to work on my flexibility/mobility. With the gyms beginning to open back up and going there just recently, I noticed the benefits of it in both my weight lifting and martial arts. In addition, I was able to gain new hobbies and one of them is cooking. Life during this pandemic has greatly helped me improve myself on many aspects. Life is unpredictable at times, so sometimes you just have to make the best out of it.
• 
  2021-04-23

  COVID-19 pandemic

  It has been a tough year for everyone, the impact of COVID 19 changed our lives forever. As people across the world practice social distancing to help slow the spread of COVID-19, many things have changed. In one way or another, we have all been touched by this pandemic, whether that means working from home or transitioning to online classes. Personally, I felt like the pandemic was going to be my downfall when it came to school. I have always struggled to stay focused and concentrate on different tasks. Having to transition from in person classes to complete remote learning scared me. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to continue with my education. As weeks went by, having to be isolated from the world and it just being me and my computer was very difficult. I suffered from depression and anxiety but I didn't want to give up. Education has always been important to me but it was really affecting my health. With pandemic getting worse and having more restrictions it felt like I was trapped. Usually when I feel that way the only thing that would give me peace was going to church. That wasn't an option anymore. Due to everything being closed I couldn't even go to the one place where I would feel safe and at peace. This pandemic taught me to be strong, and even in the hardest moment have faith. Have faith that everything gets better, and that we are capable of more than we think. Even though I had some tough times in school now I'm doing a lot better and I'm proud of myself for overcoming those obstacles. I'm now more appreciative of things that I took for granted before the pandemic. Even the little things, like being able to go to church. Overall, the pandemic taught me many things about myself. I am stronger and happier than I was before.
• 
  2021-04-23

  The First Weeks

  I remember when covid-19 was a far away danger, some natural calamity removed from my normal routine: waking up, doing yoga, meditating, working, and so on. Every day just like the others. China was in lock-down and we mindlessly scrolled past news stories from there of inventive ways people were relieving their boredom. But just like other tragedies that were affecting the unfortunate of other lands, the stories faded into the background of repetition. I remember when the first case was found in Washington, the surreal fear that hung like a thick cloud over my city, first forming as a gentle mist then accumulating into heavy dread. Once that first case was identified, things multiplied very quickly. Within a week, we were in lockdown with cases rising in an incredibly frightening exponential manner. I remember the last time I was in the room with someone without a mask on... that was.. 13 months or so ago. I was going into an interview for a funeral service assistant's position. It was raining. I was asked to accompany her to an home funeral the next morning, assist her in transporting the body of a family's child who had recently died. This frightened me, I didn't know if I could do it. And even then, the threat of a global pandemic seemed far off, even the lady blew it off, saying that the solution lie in an healthy immune system. "Healthy people don't need to worry about it." I drove home in the rain and picked up tacos for lunch. Everything was normal. But by the morning we were in a national lockdown as a result of the discovery of how widespread the virus was and just how deadly it could be. I never went to that child's funeral and I haven't talked to that lady since. Every day in those few long weeks in March of 2020 built on the growing panic and grief that was building in the depths of my heart, radiating out into my limbs, making it hard to think, or write, or sing. Every moment was spent obsessing over the potentialities of each moment. "What was going to happen? What were we going to do? How many people were going to die? How many of my friends and family members were going to do? " Going on and on and on. My mind revolved around the fear as a maypole where my body and emotions danced wildly around. Even in the bath, while taking long morning walks, while eating meals, everything centered around the pandemic. Doom-scrolling terrifying news articles telling of the devastation that would likely occur in the next months, criticizing the narcissistic, science-fearing president, who only increased the velocity of widespread horror, watching the rising death count with enrapt panicked attention. All of these things contributed to the slowing of time, which passed by moment by moment in a long exhale of a nation struggling to catch its breath after being engulfed by a wave that came on too fast and hard. Going into the grocery stores to find that most food and toilet paper were gone... that the supply chain might be limited, the reality of my city home's lack of food security becoming too real. I never thought I'd face this kind of global disaster in my lifetime. It was hard to accept. Even now, it is hard to fully accept. Approximately 3,000,000 people have died from this disease to this day, and many more will. Even though vaccinations are underway, the death rate now is at 42,847 on this day (April 4, 2021) as compared to the meager 5,989 on April 15th of last year. Then, we were horrified at that number. But now, we have grown so accustomed to daily deaths that were a numb from feeling any grief. It is hard to say what kind of effect this will have in the future years. All I know is, those first weeks have been burned into memory. I have been changed, for better or worse, by the year 2020.
• 
  2020-03-18

  All We Have Is Each Other

  From the start of Covid-19 schools begin to get cancelled and change their way of teaching the students. Children, teens, adults, and seniors had to change everything involving their lifestyle. What we knew as a normal life could no longer be the same. Everyone had to be cautious of their surroundings and use protection gear. Before everything changed our lives my family and I would always get together every sunday. After the CDC recommended that there should be an approximate of 8 people per house in gatherings we decided to not get together as often since a family member worked in a senior home and we had learned that at that time seniors were more likely to get the virus. As the number of cases grew in Arizona and the border closed we didn't get time to see some family. It has been over a year since I haven't seen my grandparents. We call each other to see how we are doing. In my household it is only my mom and I along with my 3 dogs. What we took out of this was better bonding time, school ended early and jobs started to lay off employees because there weren't enough jobs. I had time to train my dogs and learn more commands, which was fun. I learned to do new things. My mom is a cosmetologist so she taught me how to cut hair, and how to apply gel polish. As things started to calm down families around my neighborhood would come out their front yard together and play with their kids and pets more. Families would eat outside and have a good time. But now everything is going back to normal. Sporting events are getting open to the public, and schools are going back to in person. I had learned that many families around my neighborhood shared the same experience.
• 
  2020-06-01

  Cleaning up during quarantine

  During quarantine, I spent quite some time walking trails and exploring the great outdoors. The first trail I started out on was located on the Red Mountain campus of Mesa Community College. It was here that I noticed the large amount of trash scattered along the dirt trails. While on these quiet walks, I would have a lot of time to look inwards to heal myself, and yet look outwards at the trash building up. I then decided that I wanted to try and clean up as much trash as I could during my quarantine walks. I thus spent large amounts of my quarantine time cleaning up the desert alongside my loving fiance. We even turned cleaning up trash into a game; the person who collected the least amount would have to cook dinner when we got home. We had wonders spending time outside cleaning up miscellaneous trash scattered everywhere. This made me realize that we depend heavily on the earth, however, we sometimes forget to take care of our planet. My REL101 class helped me see that we can use our resources to help out, no matter how small the contribution. So please, spread the love and have fun while cleaning up our earth!
• 
  2021-04-23

  COVID 19, BLM and Religion - My story of 2020

  This story tells my experience of having Covid-19 along with being the mother of a brown child during the pandemic and BLM movement. I also share how this year drew the line in the sand for our family's faith and how my partner and I finally found the courage to come out.
• 
  2020-06-08

  A Balancing Act on Fire

  Although the meme is meant to be comedic, I feel that it reflects the reality of the stressors many people faced during the pandemic. To begin, the anxiety that the coronavirus disease brought into the public severely affected the mental health of many individuals across the globe. During the mandated lockdowns, I , like many others around me, began experiencing a decline in my happy hormones. At the time the pandemic restrictions were being put into place, I was living on campus with three other roommates. With the fear of spreading the disease unintentionally, the three moved out of the dorm right away and I was left to be on my own due to personal housing issues taking place at the time. The lack of interaction with anyone took a toll on my mental health. I missed my friends and my mom, I just wanted to be around someone, but we could only have visitors if they were helping us move out. On top of personal mental health struggles, events taking place across the country were also scarring. Protests in response to racial injustice under an administration that made it hard to feel safe unless you were a white male in America only added to the helpless state of being. Watching cases upon cases of unjustifiable abuse made the environment only more threatening than it initially seemed when the pandemic was first reported. The election of November 2020 was suspenseful in terms of who would be elected could potentially determine vital living situations for people all across the United States, whether it be immigrant status, being a person of color, or not being able to afford paying for housing in general. Financial troubles took over the country and the stimulus checks were not enough to cover housing, food, home essentials, especially when some dependents and entire families were not able to receive help because of their citizenship or dependent status. Many tried to turn towards their faith, the keyword being “tried.” Although not all religions focus on gatherings or physical objects, many people were unable to get access to these common preferred forms of practice and felt that virtual gatherings seemed ingenuine or illegitimate. Overall, the COVID-19 pandemic had many more severe effects on a global scale in all aspects of life. From concerns of the health of others, oneself, finances, practice of faith, and fear of safety in your own home, the negative effects are consistent as it seems that everything continues to pose a threat to daily living. I hope that everything eventually falls back into place and that justice is put in place so that people do not have to fear their own existence.
• 2021-04-23

  COVID 19, Religious Gatherings, and the Question of Freedom

  Religious Expression vs. Freedom My faith had been deconstructed long before COVID-19 hit United States soil and the first (of many) lockdowns began. Where as many decided to lean heavily on their beliefs during a time of fear, confusion, and loneliness, I had ample time to reflect upon my own moral code, belief system, and lofty open-ended ideas regarding human origins, the afterlife, and my mortality. And while I am certain many of these concepts will never be answered, the pandemic has certainly shed a light onto the beliefs, values, and behavior of the religious USA. Certainly not all, but a large portion of Evangelical Americans and the non-religious have collided on freedom as a concept as well as how to exercise it. The arguments were especially heated in terms of gathering, which was banned in most areas for months in order to protect general wellbeing. As someone who found comfort and solace in my Sunday morning worship sessions, I understand the importance of such community gatherings. When faced with an unknown time without the habit and release of worship, there is bound to be friction. While friction was certainly there, most Americans followed CDC regulations and recommendations at the start. However it took very little time for discourse, blatant disregard, and conspiracy to settle into communities across not only the USA, but the world. Was the government really able to tell people how to exercise their freedom of religion, even if it meant health was at risk? It seems many Americans value their freedom over health choices. While I found it difficult to wrap my mind around, as I have followed CDC guidelines from the start and since received the Pfizer vaccine, I also understand the individualistic spirit of America as a whole. Patriotism seems to be synonymous with the religious right of America- and our country’s political polarization is nothing new under the sun. Most churches I am aware of meet weekly or more, masks are scoffed at, and doctors are seen as agents of the state keen on stripping freedoms away from every man, woman, and child. Freedom is clearly more important than both individual health and the health of others around them. I have heard that god will protect those who he chooses to (not the millions who have died, just those he sees fit to protect), that COVID is simply a conspiracy, and that I am a sheep for listening to recommendations of specialists. As COVID regulations and vaccine rollouts continue, there are more questions that will occur. For example, what is the legality of vaccine regulations to enter places of business? There are already areas in which vaccines are nearly mandated (save for certain religious stated opt-outs) such as schools and universities. I feel only more questions regarding freedom and government-orientated safety will continue to occur as this discussion regarding covid gathering has just scratched the surface.
• 
  2020-08-09

  COVID Relations

  This picture was taken in my hometown of Elko, Nevada. My girlfriend and I decided to take some days off and go visit as her parents live in this small mining town. This small town had some pretty lenient restrictions, or they were being poorly enforced. One specific place or I guess monument when looking at the context of the town, the catholic church, was keen on maintaining social distancing protocols and doing what they could to protect those who decided to attend mass. I myself am not much of a religious individual and to be fair my girlfriend isn’t either, but her parents are. Due to this we decided to attend a bright and early 8 am mass. This is a selfie that she took as we are walking into the sermon, masks on of course as we were both wanting to follow the recommendations for our safety as well as the safety of others. This picture only shows half of the changes that were made to the normal sermons, every other pew was closed off and they made sure that people kept the masks on and made sure that each family was at the appropriate distance. This picture means a lot to me because it is the last time, I saw her family and it is mostly due to COVID reasons. Travel is harder and more expensive it seems, and this makes it all the more difficult to plan a trip. The past year has been difficult on every individual and everyone has gone through their own battles and experiences with COVID. This is a memory that brings a little bit of light to an otherwise very dark situation. Personally, speaking this may be one of my favorite memories of the past year and although I am not a religious person I would relive this moment again because of how much it meant to me.
• 2021-04-23

  What life was like in the Military with COVID-19

  My story is very similar to all my fellow military members.
• 
  2020-03-15

  Rest in a Time of Time of Unrest: COVID-19 Quaratine, Religion, and Public Life Reflection

  My personal experience with COVID-19, My active involvement in my religious community and my public life reflection during times of a pandemic and political/ social unrest.
• 
  2021-04-22

  Lost Time

  This story is a personal one. i hope it encourages others to love their loved ones and hold them close.
• 
  2020-06-15

  A Tiresome Year

  During this first year of Covid-19 has taken place, I can sum it up in a single word "wearisome". When this pandemic started in the year 2020, the southern part of Texas seemed to be unyielding in the hustle and bustle of everyday life down here. The attitude and lack of being a courteous person continued until about the middle of July. This was the starting point of the pandemic begging to affect people enough to begin to take notice of this "uncertain time" as if a miracle the everyday average Joe wasn't hassling me for being wearing a mask. This tale of endless misery starts at the beginning of Covid-19 and stretches until the middle of June 2020. Some background information about the antagonist of this tale is a religious youth group of about twenty would come to every Thursday and order an obnoxious amount of items all very rudely. This instance in particular struck a chord with me. This one religious group of younger children (probably about eleven to fourteen) and an older gentleman named Moshi. This group I loathed, just for the sole reason that these children would run about with no mask and caring not for social distancing, and this gentleman was pushing these children to not follow CDC protocol. Well about after a good eight months these children and a new gentleman came in all wearing masks and seemingly decent and well-mannered. This new individual had replaced Moshi and lectured this devil-children about the importance of wearing a mask and being just at least a decent human. This religious youth group had come in and sat on our patio every Thursday and seemingly never once did these children follow protocol until Joel the new instructor stressed the importance of being not a walking health hazard. I and all of my co-workers appreciate that man greatly.
• 
  2021-04-22

  The Best of Times, The Worst of Times

  I am submitting this for my Rel 101: Religion, Culture, and Public Life course.
• 
  2021-04-22

  Why Religion Can Be Important To Many People

  The pandemic has showed me the importance of religion in many people's lives including my family's.
• 
  2021-03-09

  Volunteer Vaccine

  My name is Erica Ruhland and I was a senior online during the Covid-19 Pandemic. I live with my two grandparents. Both are in their late 70’s, and because of them, I have been taking the pandemic extremely seriously. This year has been a constant battle of inner turmoil. My moral compass has been spinning for over a year now. The following has been some of the struggles and sacrifices I have made over the course of the year: Quarantining from my grandparents for 12 days in my room, multiple times Cutting my work hours to limit possible exposure Quarantining from my boyfriend for 4 months. I had several close calls where I had worked with someone who then tested positive for Covid-19. Each time it would send me into an emotional spiral of guilt. Guilt for working in a customer service job. But it was this job that was paying for my school and gave me health insurance. I couldn’t be without health insurance during a pandemic. But I felt a great deal of shame and guilt over my minimum wage job. I had already cut my hours down, but I was stuck between making a living and staying alive. The constant battles with customers, begging with them to put on a mask, or just simply having to nod when they denied Covid’s existence began to take its toll on my soul. This pandemic has turned me bitter. I have seen too many cruel humans refuse to help their fellow neighbors. A simple mask has the potential to destroy or save my grandpa’s life. HandsOn Greater Phoenix is a volunteer program that helps find volunteers for several campaigns across the state. They were in charge of organizing the volunteer program for the “Vaccinate State 48” initiative. This is how I got the vaccine. The rule was, you had to volunteer at the State Farm Arena vaccination site for 8 hours and then you could receive the vaccine shot afterwards. After battling out for a volunteer spot online, I had secured a spot for me to help out on March 9th, 2021. From 6am to 2pm, I stood outside and directed traffic. I was one of the last volunteers people would see. After they received their shot, I would direct their cars out of the massive parking lot. I saw so many older citizens that day. Each time I couldn’t help but think of my own grandparents. As I waited in line, sitting in my car after volunteering, I felt a huge wave of emotion. It was a mixture of exhaustion, relief, fear, and joy. I started talking to the nurse and I told her that I was nervous for the shot but also really happy. This is when I began to tear up and cry. After the shot, I felt a huge weight lifted from me. All the sacrifices I had made to keep myself and my family safe, they were worth it. I had done my part to help not just myself or my loved ones, but my community, strangers that I may never meet again. My moral compass aligned North once more. I felt validated. I used the small power I have to effect a big change in my community. My bitterness began to fade. Even now, a month later, I still think about the other volunteers, they all believed we were helping effect great change and saving people. It was like a religion. I had been baptized with the vaccine. On that day I felt like I belonged to a church, preaching to the community. Our sermons were us showing the elders where to drive, and how to schedule their next dose. Our gospel was Phfizer and we sent missionaries out to spread the good news. My sign of piety was the sunburn on my neck where I had forgotten sunscreen and my vaccine papers. This sense of purpose and passion is I’m sure the driving force behind every religion. This pandemic has shown me the worst of people. I will not forget it. This pandemic has shown me the great lengths I and others will go to, to protect their community. I will never forget that. There is strength in a common goal. Vaccinate Sate 48.
• 
  2021-04-22

  Uncertainty, Spirituality, and the Inevitability of Change #REL101

  I foolishly thought that it would be easy to write this post. I didn’t anticipate struggling so much with finding the right words to explain the impact the last year of pandemic life has had on me, but I’ve deleted about a hundred paragraphs of rambling, existential stream of consciousness nonsense about cherishing the small moments and growing in the face of adversity because it is surprisingly hard to be concise about your feelings on an event you’re still living through. I’m starting to think that maybe doing so is impossible, so instead of falling into cliche and flowery prose, I want to just be blunt. I haven’t seen my family in two years. My grandmother has dementia and in that time it has worsened exponentially. On a weekly basis, I have a call with my mom that starts with a debrief on whatever the newest updates in her condition are and ends with a plea to visit as soon as I feel comfortable traveling. Every day, I go into my retail job and tell them no, I don’t have symptoms or live with anyone with symptoms while waiting for the beep of a thermometer meant to ensure I don’t have a fever. I breathe through two layers of fabric, disinfect my work area between transactions, and field rants about restrictive mask mandates for six hours a day, then come home and begin the process of undressing, banishing my clothes to the washer, and trying to relax before I have to do it all again. Everything in that paragraph is, to put it nicely, so bleak it hurts. It’s easy to get caught in the feelings of overwhelm that came along with this pandemic and it would be a farce to say that there aren’t days where everything feels like way too much for one person to handle. Surprisingly, though, the thing that has blissfully not survived the most turbulent year of my life is the apathetic, empty cynicism I used to feel. Instead, I feel weirdly hopeful that this is the beginning of massive change both in myself and on a global level. Maybe it’s naive to think that way and maybe it’s just a coping mechanism to help me through the pandemic, but there’s a part of me that thinks that may not even matter because the changes are coming regardless. In the last year, I’ve moved out of Nevada and into a pink house in California with the love of my life. Despite a fraught, stressful prior experience in college, I’ve finally come back to higher education in a way that feels both healthy and exciting. The field of religious studies has reawakened my passion for learning and my ability to grow in academia. I’ve abandoned my skeptical, agnostic views and traded them out for a brand of religiosity that combines self-improvement, magic, and trust in something bigger than myself. I know how that all sounds and if the last sentence has you rolling your eyes reading this, I get it. The last year has been weird, don’t get me wrong. If I told a 20-year-old version of myself that one day we’d be living through the plague of a lifetime, studying religion with hopes of examining cultism, and practicing a version of witchcraft grounded in our ex-Catholic roots, I doubt she would believe me. It admittedly sounds pretty wacky all laid out in plain English like that. Part of what I’ve learned throughout the pandemic, though, is that suspending cynicism, skepticism, and disbelief can sometimes lead you to unexpectedly lovely places. Whether I saw it coming or not, Covid has changed my life in countless ways, just as I’m sure it’s changed the lives of everyone reading these entries. Some changes have been for the worse, certainly, but the things that have changed for the better are what I’m choosing to focus on. I’ve read articles about a reemergence of spirituality amongst young people that make me think others have been having similar ideas and something about that feels good. We’ve spent a lot of time isolated, lonely, and missing a sense of belonging we took for granted before, but there’s reassurance for me in knowing that my experiences aren’t all that different from anyone else’s. That type of community, however it manifests, is (and I hope you’ll forgive this admitted slip into flowery prose) something that the pandemic has taught us we must cherish above everything else because it’s what makes our little human lives worth living. More than anything, whenever this pandemic reaches the time where we split our lives into not just before, but after, I hope we don’t forget that.
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  2021-04-22

  Queer Joy

  Throughout the pandemic I have found myself with a lot more time for introspection than usual. I had thought at the start of this pandemic I had felt rather self-assured. I thought I knew what I wanted as a career, for my future, and mostly what kind of person I wanted to become. However, the more time I spent alone the more I realized how much of myself had been a performance for others. For once, the pandemic encouraged me to slow down enough to evaluate what my own personal wants and needs are. I also grew spiritually, emotionally, and intellectually. I was especially surprised to find myself changing my opinions on religion. For years, I have subscribed to rather devout atheism, to the point it nears becoming a religion in my attempts to cut it out. However now I have found myself accepting the mystic much more, and allowing myself to stop explaining everything. Though all these added experiences I was able not to find something new in my queerness per say, but a new way to relate to my world. I was able to find peace with myself as a queer person in the world, not in spite of it. I think the time alone allowed me a lot of space to appreciate the community and its place. To finally start feeling like the bonds and friendships and joy of myself and other queer people is worth even more than just surviving. I think one of the most important things that happened was coming to terms with myself as a nonbinary person. For years I was confident I was a binary trans man due to my physical transition goals and personal fears of being delegitimized in public. I finally realized and accepted that myself is no one else’s business. I have found a new peace with living authentically, even when other people react poorly. Finally, I honestly love being queer.
• 2020-06-11

  COVID-19: The Great Infringer of Freedom

  It tells of a time of a senior in college who is unable to live his final year of college because of the restrictions associated with COVID-19. Life experiences associated with being a senior at ASU have been lost in this lost year of COVID-19.