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2020-05
A Pandemic Ending
The memory I think of first when asked about my experience with the pandemic was my last day of school. In May of 2020, I was a high school senior (and convinced I had the worst luck). It started in mid-March with two weeks of online school, which was then followed by morning after morning of anxiously checking the news to see if the nightmare was finally over. Day after day I was met with more uncertainty and yearning for an email saying everything could return to the way it was. After weeks of being let down the day finally came, my last day of school. Twelve years of education coming to a close on a Google Hangouts call. As I saw my classmates pop up on tiny boxes on my screen I began to think. This was the only year I wanted to savor every day. Every class, no matter how dry, was meant to be mine. I wished away three years of school just to have the days I waited for be ripped away from me. I frantically search for somewhere to place blame, someone to direct all my anger towards. I closed my laptop, walked into the kitchen, and that was it. It was all over. No hugging friends in the hallway, thanking teachers for the impact they had, crying in the parking lot with my best friend, or struggling to open my locker one last time. At that point, the only positive I could find was the next day was a weekday and I could sleep until noon. I was told to look on the bright side, that I would be off to college in a few months and it would be a time for new experiences. Although this would be something a normal high school senior would be excited about, nothing about my class was normal. In a matter of a few weeks, we learned that none of the “fundamental” milestones of growing up were guaranteed. It was up in the air whether I would be moving halfway across the country or be confined to my childhood bedroom in August. At the time it felt like things were not over yet. That is the fall I would head back to high school and finally close that chapter of my life. But that never came. Two years later so many of us are in search of closure, feeling as though we’re imposters who are not qualified to be where we are. -
2020-03
Dealing with my anxiety
As most young adults my age, I suffer from severe anxiety. Dealing with anxiety daily, can be very challenging at times, especially during a pandemic. I have been fighting a battle with anxiety most of my life. At this point, I am really used to the extra thoughts in my head. I have learned to help manage it, but not completely get rid of it. I believe that anxiety has made me who I am, in a way, because I do not remember a time where I was not struggling. In 2020, a pandemic instantly flooded the world. This completely impacted my entire life. I was not able to experience my last year in high school, I was not able to be around the one person that helped me with my anxiety, etc. I was forced to wear a mask that I could barely breathe in. I lost touch with most of my friends that I developed over my lifetime. This instant wave of depression suddenly hit me. I was so nervous on what would happen next, and how long will this last. People were dying from this pandemic. I constantly worried about if the sickness would hurt one of my family members or someone important to me. Over the time of being in quarantine, I thought to myself ways on how I could relax and not worry so much about the pandemic. I told myself every day, “Everything happens for a reason”. This is what I truly believe and for some reason it really does calm me down. I am Catholic. I am a very deep believer in God. To me, trusting in the Lord is the best anxiety reliever around. Covid-19 is still around today. Without Covid-19, I would not be where I am today. Although this pandemic has an abundance of negative impacts on my life, it also had some positive ones, too. I would not have attended Duquesne University, met so many amazing people, and made a plethora of memories that I would not trade in for. I believe talking about my anxiety, especially during the pandemic, is very critical because I am not the only one who is suffering, too. Everyone is nervous about what is going to happen next. To me, this is HUGE on helping me with my anxiety. I can finally think to myself that I am not alone. I believe that people who suffer from anxiety, especially from the pandemic started in 2020, can have a place to go if they are nervous. When I was struggling, I felt alone, and I was the only person who felt this way. My story will allow people to realize that they are not alone. Everyone is dealing with this stress and anxiety that I suffered from. My story tells people that I have worries and doubts, too. The pandemic not only had negative impacts, but they also had positive impacts. Focusing on the positives, will distract you from the anxiety and worrying. My story should help prove that. My story should allow people to see and find new ways to cope with the stress. I hope my story leaves a positive impact on people who did or are struggling. Everyone is in this together, and nobody will be alone in this major impact on the world. -
2021-10
The Division of Covid-19
Since the pandemic started life has definitely changed in plenty of ways, not just for me but for everyone. From the way we learn in school and work jobs to the way we interact in public and meet people. One thing covid brought that I saw prevalent in a few different aspects of my life was a new reason for division amongst people. This new reason for division is almost a political thing, where there are people that are nervous and scared that covid is harmful and then the people who do not care and believe covid is blown out of proportion. I see this division in things like media, politics, family, and friends. It makes a lot of things confusing for me because I never know which side to listen to. The crazy thing to see for me is how a pandemic can come around and cause so much separation. At a point it started to seem like it was the only thing I heard people talking about and it would drive me crazy. If I put on the news, it was always someone saying everyone needs masks, then I flip the channel and the next station is saying mask are bad and should not be on all day. Then it came to my family, my dad would tell me I needed all the vaccines and booster but my mom on the other hand told me to do whatever I wanted and did not care. Seeing all of this back a fourth throughout this time would frustrate me because it made making my mind up so difficult. This eventually even got to my friends, and I saw friends that would argue about whether people should get the booster or not, and I thought it was so ridiculous. The reason I bring up this point of division is because I believe it is interesting how everyone has reacted to covid. I also feel like it has made people feel the need to push their opinions and ideas onto other people, it is something I have seen first-hand in my life. Similar to the way Hitler or Stalin pushed their ideas on everyone, but on a very different level. Maybe one day people will just let each other choose for themselves. -
2022-02-06
Nozomi park mask trash
Mask trash by the parking lot at Nozomi Park. -
2020-04
Blessing in Disguise
2020 started out great. I finally started to like my experience as a freshman at Duquesne. I really took a liking to my classes and the sorority that I joined, and I was always busy which was a nice change of pace from the fall semester. With this, I met a lot of amazing people who soon would become my closest friends. I was having a great start to the year. However, that all came to a pause in the middle of March. What I thought was going to be a 2-week vacation turned out to be a complete change in the way we live our lives. Zoom University was a nice break but it soon turned into a nightmare. I myself am a home-body, but getting up every single day knowing that I was about to have the same exact day as the next and the next was really hard. I had a really hard time not seeing family, friends, maintaining relationships, and just trying to stay sane during this quarantine. While this seemed like a never-ending cycle that would soon drive me and everyone in my house insane, it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. While I really loved my life at school, I realized that I didn’t have much time to focus on myself. It was just one distraction after the next. I finally got to really do things for myself. I made it a habit to workout inside the house, go on daily walks with my family, journal my thoughts, and really work on finding my inner peace. During this time, I realized that some things I had in my life pre-covid that I thought were serving me and bringing value, were not. Covid really stripped down every distraction and made it clear what was making me happy and what wasn’t, and for that I am grateful. Although it came with many struggles, covid taught a lesson to myself and I think to a lot of people of how to adapt well to a situation and focus on what is important, your well-being and the well-being of those closest to you and get back to your roots! -
2020-03-16
Focusing on Physical Health During the Pandemic
The COVID pandemic of 2020 affected many lives including my own. For me, it greatly affected my ability to focus on my physical health. When we were all sent home from school to finish our semester online, the gyms closed. This drove a wedge between me and where I wanted to be physically. While I could still do calisthenics at my house, I was unable to do the heavy weight training that I had grown so accustomed to. This caused me to lose some of the muscle mass I had spent so much time trying to gain. Not only that, I also lost the one place I could go to be alone with my thoughts. While I’m at the gym, I can focus on problems inside my mind while also making myself stronger. I don’t have to deal with any unnecessary external interactions with others while I’m at the gym. While I was at home, I would sometimes find myself being irritated by my family with nowhere to go. During these times, I would end up going outside or locking myself away in my room. Since I had nowhere to blow off the steam, I could only sit there and let the irritation manifest into anger. While calisthenics were good for my physical shape, they did not help me the same way heavy weights did. To fix that issue, I took up boxing with two gloves and a small yoga mat. I put the mat up against the wall and began teaching myself how to box. This was helping. While I had to deal with the occasional interruption by my family, I finally found an activity that helped me effectively blow off steam. Still, I always knew that none of this was going to last. I knew I needed to get back into the gym in order to feel like myself again. Much like many others, I waited until the day when mine reopened again. When my gym reopened, I considered the pandemic to finally be over in my eyes. -
2020-03-24
COVID-19: but make it McDonalds.
March 2020 When the pandemic began, I was two weeks into my first job at McDonalds. At this point in the pandemic, masks cost $700 for the case we got at work. One day, when I walked into McDonalds, the manager called me back to the office. I thought I was getting fired since we were overstaffed, and I was trained to work at the kiosk in the now-closed lobby. To my surprise, she didn’t fire me. She explained that we have a new part of our uniform: a McMask. If I said I laughed, that would be an understatement. People were wearing them upside down, so they made a sad face. Even the customers laughed at us. I was always the first person to show my McSpirit, but the McMask would not be seen on me outside of a McWork setting. I noticed other changes at work aside from our spectacular new dress code. Since we were drive-thru only, customers started acting crazier than usual. Due to supply chain shortages, our menu was somewhat limited. While some customers took it for what it was (we’re in a pandemic, yanno?), some were not so understanding. I had money, drinks, and some very hurtful words thrown at me. Some may wonder: Did McDonalds take the proper precautions to stop the spread of COVID-19 within the restaurant? The short answer: McNo. During the beginning of my McWorking career, I stayed on the customer service side of things, so I wasn’t in the kitchen. However, the people in the kitchen rarely wore masks, since the lobby wasn’t open, and the customers couldn’t see them. Since we were during peak Shamrock Shake season when the pandemic began, there was rarely time between orders to change gloves or wash hands. In conclusion, McDonalds had quite a few McChanges during the pandemic. Although, none of them sacrificed the Mac’s dirty nature, it was quite the experience to hop into this new way of life with all my filthy McPals by my side. -
2020-03-01
The Hardest Year Yet.
March 2020 A week before the world shut down, I was enjoying spring break in the Bahamas still joking about covid 19. By the next Friday, I was preparing for the worst year of my life, and I did not know it yet. In two weeks, I lost the rest of senior year, prom, graduation, my stepmom was diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disorder which made it impossible to visit my dad, faced the fear of my mom working with covid every day despite having an autoimmune disorder herself. I could have never predicted that my entire life would fall apart so quickly. I was mad that I ever took it for granted. I dreamed my entire life what my graduation night would look like, and I never pictured graduating in our local drive-in movie theater. I carried the guilt every day of not wanting to go out or choosing to do something else instead of seeing my dad. I wished I could go back and take any opportunity given to me. At this point, I still had hope that the nightmare would end by Easter of that year, but it seemed like it would go on forever. I was scared. I was scared that my mom would catch covid and not be able to fight it. I was scared my stepmom would not get better. Everything was so unknown I found myself fearing the future. I spent months doing absolutely nothing every single day. I was so upset I could not even bring myself to get out of bed to eat. All I wanted to do was sleep. I could not get more bad news if I was asleep. Every morning I woke up I felt like there was just more bad news and I honestly did not want to know what it was anymore. Waking up every day to more life-altering news with no end in sight was exhausting. I now believe that this has forever changed my life in both ways. I do not take things for granted anymore because I quickly learned how quickly they can be taken away. I have learned to always look for the light at the end of the tunnel because even if it feels like it will never end it will. The most important thing I learned was that life is like a wave, there are highs and lows, but you need to learn how to rise again. I have included a picture of the walking trail in my area. This trail was an escape from the scares of the world. I would often take long walks on this trail to calm the anxieties of the future. It was a chance to leave the house and almost forget what was happening in the world. -
2020-05-07
Finally Seeing My Best Friend
The pandemic has been a rough time for me. I decided to take a gap year in the middle of my college experience in order to work. Online learning isn't the easiest, and it was the best decision I could've made. However, it was very isolating living in my parents basement for 18 months. Humans are supposed to be social creatures. My father is immunocompromised, which means that I have to be as careful as possible to keep him healthy. For the first few months of the pandemic, I didn't see anyone besides my mom and dad. I couldn't even see my grandmother, who I missed so much. Finally, things started to feel a little bit safer, so I was finally able to see my childhood friend. I sat in her backseat with a mask on, while she drove us to a hiking trail, where we were able to have a socially distanced picnic. Being able to spend that time with her was crucial. I needed this time with her to keep myself sane. We decided to take a picture of us wearing our masks, posing like the characters in The Fault In Our Stars movie poster. We talked for hours, grateful to be in each other’s presence. We made it a routine to try to do something outside together every couple of weeks. She lives in my neighborhood, so it was easy to meet at a corner and walk our dogs together. Being able to see someone that was outside of my immediate family was like a breath of fresh air, both metaphorically and literally. As time went on, she became part of my “COVID bubble” as my family called it. It was hard not seeing other friends, but I’m glad that at least I had her from the very beginning. -
2020-03-13
The Tragedy of the Covid-19 Pandemic
I was in my senior year of High School when covid happened. That year that was going so well ended so badly. Once covid hit I lost all my friends and my girlfriend at the time. Everything changed and I worked at a grocery store. Ive never seen so many people at like such animals. while working at the store there would be about 4-5 fights a day and people were just fighting and emptying the shelves. It was scary to see that this is what was happening to our world and all I could really do was just sit there and watch and still hope that we would have enough product for me to still have a job. And that's not even the worst of it. I lost all of the fun things that happen senior year. I never got to go to prom, I never had a graduation ceremony, I lost everything. my girlfriend started lying and saying she couldn't see me because of coiled and I eventually found out she was cheating. I lost all my friends as well. The worst part of it is with everyone being quarantined, if you walked outside it looked like an abandoned waste land. little to no human life for months. You'd only see people at the stores and even then they aren't acting like the same people you once knew. But covid has done worse to me. Its ruined my football career and taken my dream away. It is what it is and I'm doing what I can to move on, but this pandemic changed me and everyone else. things are starting to go kinda back how they were but its not the same. Things will never be how they once were. Even when this virus fully passes and ends up just like the flu, the strain it has left on mankind as a whole will always be there. And even when historians in 50 years look back at this, No matter what there will be some part of them that has been effected by this. I honestly don't have much more to say because I feel like I've said what matters. All I have left to say is if you grew up/ are growing up during this I'm so sorry that this is what you also have to live through. -
2020-05
How COVID-19 Altered Some of Life’s Most Memorable Times
The COVID-19 lockdown began in March 2020 of my senior year of high school. At first, it was just a two-week vacation break, then it soon became unknown what the rest of senior year would be. I was extremely devastated when the pandemic took away my senior year because the last year of high school is one of the most memorable times of your life. Although it was a rough time, my friends, family, and I did what we could to make the best of every big moment. The first monumental moment taken away from me was my 18th birthday on April 20, 2020. My friends and I have always gone all out for each other’s birthdays such as concerts, dinners, gifts, and big celebrations. My family always went out to our favorite restaurants or had extended family come over to celebrate as well. For my 18th birthday, we made the best of it by my mom making my favorite dinner, and my friends planned a drive-by parade past my house with signs, balloons, and cards. Although it ended up being a nice day, it was still hard to enjoy it with wondering what the day could have been. Senior prom is an exciting moment that you look forward to your entire senior year. My childhood best friend and I planned to go together. My friends and I had bought our dresses back in January, so we were all ready for the big day. Due to school being shut down and social distancing guidelines, a senior prom was not possible. To make the day the best it possibly could be, my friends and I put on our makeup, did our hair, and put our dresses on to have our own prom. We took pictures together and had a little party at my friend’s house. The best part is that our version of a mini prom ended up being more fun than an actual prom. However, it is still bittersweet that we never got to experience the last dance with our senior class. Missing out on a graduation ceremony was the hardest part for me. It was the final closure to have with your classmates and teachers before heading off to college to begin a new life. I did not get to see any of my classmates walk the stage and share such a sentimental moment with them. We did receive our diplomas, but it was not the same as being on the football field with 300 other classmates and the bleachers full of family and friends. Senior banquet occurred after graduation where everyone got together at the school and had a fun night one last time. After a couple months of worrying, tears, and longing for more, it was time to move on. Although senior year did not end the way we wanted it to, the memories of making everything the best with the people I love mean the most to me. -
2021-07
Waiting in Limbo
Going into the weekend of the fourth of July; my roommates and I were notified of our exposure to covid-19. It came as a shock to us as for the most part we had been good at keeping away from situations that would expose us. After some deducing of how we were exposed we came to find out that one of our roommate’s girlfriend was our source. We decided to go and get tested in order to make sure we could participate in whatever fourth of July events we had scheduled. With the four of us packed into a car, we drove down to the nearest testing center. After waiting for what seemed like hours, we were able to get tests. What seemed like it would be a miserable experience of having something shoved up our noses turned out to be alright. A few days later we received calls informing us of our results. My test came back positive along with three of my roommates. However, hours later I was informed that my test was actually inconclusive and I should come get retested. So the next day I got up and drove myself over to the testing center. After waiting for an hour I was informed that I actually could not get tested for another 10 days due to my recent test. With this knowledge I had the pleasure of waiting out the week in quarantine, unsure of my exposure. The days went by long and slow stuck in a white room for 23 of the 24 hours in a day. My only real entertainment for the days being my PlayStation and my computer, and my only food being the simple groceries delivered to my house via amazon. Mostly peanut butter and jelly. After my 7 days were up I would drive to the nearest testing location to get tested. Except, that location was out of tests. I would spend the next 2 hours going to each location finding out the same thing, they were out of tests. The next 5 days would be spent doing much the same. Eventually, I would find a location and receive my test. After 2 more days I would find out my results: Negative. Having already spent more than my required quarantine time I would not know if I truly was positive in the early days. However, I don’t regret the time spent in self-quarantine in order to potentially protect others. -
2021-09-21
Life During the Pandemic
In March of 2020, I was sent home from Duquesne University due to the rising COVID-19 pandemic. At the time, I did not grasp the magnitude of the situation, but I quickly realized that the next year and a half were going to be rough. As soon as I got home, signed up for Door Dash to maintain steady income while most places were either closed or under heavy regulations. Personally, I was not concerned about contracting the virus myself, rather bring the virus home to my family. My sister worked on a COVID floor in a hospital, and I was working everyday around people as well. We were very cautious because my mother is immunocompromised, meaning her immune system is weaker than normal. If I were to bring the virus home to her, or anyone in my family, I would have felt terrible, so I was very cautious when I was working for Door Dash. I wore my mask everywhere I went, inside restaurant, outside while delivering food, everywhere. Also, during this time, I had to take care of my grandmother and great aunt as well. Both of them live very close to where I live, so I had to deliver groceries and medicine to them for a year and a half. That part was the most concerning. With both of them being over the age 65, being cautious was an understatement. After about a year od delivering food and such to them, the moment the vaccine was available, my family took the opportunity. I was the last to get the vaccine, as I was more worried about my family rather than myself. Living during COVID was not easy. The constant worry on if I had the virus if I had a slight cough or a sore throat was tiring. Constant stress was hanging over me and on top of that, school was not easy either. Online classes were tough, as I am very much an in-person learner, but at the end of the day, my family is all healthy and I am as well. COVID-19 was a challenge but being able to overcome those times was incredibly relieving. -
2020
The Importance of Family During Covid-19
Throughout the pandemic, my parents tried to navigate the line between being flexible yet cautious. They did their best to keep my siblings and I safe while also trying to understand and accommodate our needs as young adults to connect with our peers. It was important that they balanced the health and well-being of not only our immediate family but our extended family as well. For as long as I can remember, my family has spent every holiday, birthday, and any other major or minor event with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. My family, as well as my dad’s side of the family, are all local to Pittsburgh, so I have been lucky enough to grow up with them. My dad is one of five and all together there is fourteen of us grandchildren. In January of 2020, right before covid had started, our grandmother passed away from pancreatic cancer. This was a very hard time for my family as we were all incredibly close to her. However, as I look back, I am almost grateful that she is at peace and did not have to experience the crazy covid world in which we are currently living in. My uncle also had pancreatic cancer and had been living with it since his diagnosis in 2012. Our family did everything we could to get him the best treatment and keep him as healthy as possible. Covid made it extremely difficult to be with my family and it was something that I was not used to as I spend much of my time with them. However, our uncle was always our number one thought through it all as he was very at risk due to his underlying health conditions. Months and months went by without seeing my family and we had to continue to cancel get togethers due to my family members health concerns. Not seeing my family frequently was a struggle as I felt disconnected from them and events happening in their lives. My uncle began to fall very ill in September of 2020 and I felt that I was unaware of the extent of his illness. The disconnect and miscommunication from quarantine and covid made it very difficult to get through his time of sickness. Unfortunately, my uncle had passed away shortly after falling ill. It was difficult to think of all of the time we as a family could’ve spent together over the course of the pandemic and all of the memories we could have been making with our uncle before he passed. The pandemic had negatively affected many aspects of life in general but losing a loved one in addition is indescribable. As horrible as the pandemic has been, it has taught me many important lessons in life. I have always loved and appreciated my family but the events that occurred during the pandemic had only brought me closer to them and made us stronger in the end. -
2020-08-27
Covid Schooling
During the Covid-19 pandemic, many lives were lost and changed forever. I was one of the lucky ones where myself and no one I knew was affected. One thing problem that surfaced to me during the pandemic is the online schooling. My fall semester of 2020 at Duquesne University was all online and it was a struggle being in my house just outside of Pittsburgh. Professors and faculty did their best to learn the technology and to teach the students through online interactions. I truly give them all the credit in the world for that, but it is extremely tough to learn. There is no clear-cut communication between students and their professors. Usually, you are able to form some sort of relationship with the professor, but there was not an easy way to do it. It was also hard to form a relationship with your classmates. You only knew the people that you knew before the pandemic. With no relationships in the class, it felt a lot harder. There was no one really to help you or just discuss the class with. People rely on people and in the online world, it is hard to have that connection. Our world cannot stay online. People need to be in offices and in schools working with one another. The online world is a way to hide from doing work where we need to be face to face. People need people. Our world depends on each other and the online world is a great thing, but it cannot be implemented for schooling. It was very hard for me to learn online because I was distracted by all the things at my house. What would you rather do, listen to an hour lecture or watch a tv show? It was hard to stay focused on schooling because it did not feel like school. I blame myself for not being able to pay attention during the classes, but if I struggled with it, I know many other kids did too. While taking 5 courses online, I have to be honest in saying I do not know if I really learned anything. I am thankful that I was not online too long. -
2020-03
Life of a College Student During a Pandemic
The COVID-19 pandemic has affected so many people all across the globe in many different ways. One of the big groups of people that have been affected in the United States is college students. I was a semester and a half into my freshman year here at Duquesne when everything began to take a turn for the worse. Looking back to then, I was still finding my way and learning what it was like to be a college student at the time, just beginning to become familiar with the lifestyle. The past year and a half as a college student has been a long and hard process of transitioning into life as a college student during a global pandemic. Simple things like going to class in person, to eating with my friends in the dining hall were not as simple as they once seemed. Many students, like myself, struggled with being as involved in online classes like we were during in person classes. Along with that, I struggled with retaining a lot of the information given to me by my professors during class time, communication between student and professor was not as easy as it used to be. But not only has the education aspect of college changed drastically, there has been a huge change in the social aspect of college as well. Simple things like meeting with some friends to go get dinner after a long week of classes was not as easy as it once was. Looking back, freshman year now feels like an eternity ago, a lot about my life as a college student has changed due to this pandemic. Certainly, things are becoming better, and we are getting closer to normality, but the pandemic still affects me as a college student till this day. Still having to wear masks on campus as well as getting a COVID test when feeling a little bit sick are some things I have had to deal with recently. Life as a college student is ever changing during the pandemic, it has been very hard at times, but it is certainly something I will never forget. -
2020-04-01
Lockdown Troubles
When the pandemic hit, our whole way of life completely changed. One day I was at college constantly around all of my friends and all different types of people. The next day, I was back in my house and trapped there. At first it felt nice to be home for a change after spending a lot of time away from my hometown. Then a couple of weeks passed, and the isolation started to kick in. It was only my mother and I for that 3-month complete lockdown but looking back at it now, I would not have wanted it to be with anyone else. With that being said, we drove each other absolutely crazy. I know that she was happy at first since I am far away at school, but I know as we got deeper and deeper into isolation, that we were getting very annoyed at each other. It was a rough situation we were in during that time. She was very busy with her job working remotely and I was getting adjusted to zoom school which was not a good time. We were both stressed from the work we had to do and the fear of not knowing when we would be able to leave our house and be with other people. We then reached a boiling point and had a screaming match at each other. At this point, I truly do not remember what we were actually yelling at each other about. But we both recognized that we were both just going crazy from being in our house all of the time. We had our anxieties about the virus which did not help our mental states. Our regular life stopped for a long time, and it took a toll on us with the huge change. But we stayed strong and thankfully made it through and we are slowly getting back to regular. -
2021-08
Journal of the Plague Year (My Experience)
My story tells how seriously some people took the pandemic. Some people were very scared and took extreme measures to stay safe while others took the pandemic seriously, but didn't really take extreme measures to stay safe. -
2020-05-10
Repetition in Quarantine
The first days to even weeks of the pandemic for me, consisted of a very repetitive pattern: wake up, zoom into classes, work out, nap once or twice, binge watch Netflix or Hulu and repeat. This monotonous lifestyle of the same thing every single day in quarantine, quickly started to wear me down. At first, I, like most people, had assumed it would be like an extended spring break, but as the coronavirus continued to spread, doubt started to creep into my mind, and it began to feel like it would never end. Two major events underlined this feeling for me and made me feel as though I was missing on an important part of my life and my “college experience”. First, I was unable to attend my youngest sister’s graduation, then quickly after I was informed that my internship for the summer was probably not going to be able to begin. These two things back-to-back, sent me into an even bigger funk, where I started thinking about all the things, opportunities, events, etc. both big and small that I was missing out on due to the pandemic. This lasted for several days, where I would do nothing but stay in my room, watch TV shows, and feel bad for myself. Finally, sometime in mid-June, one of my friends suggested to go on a hike while wearing masks. This turned out to be a pivotal moment for me during the pandemic, as it showed me that I could continue to do things that brought me joy even during the pandemic. All of a sudden instead of gloomily sitting around my room, I began to think of things I could do or try with this “new normal” we were all subjected to. I realized how normally I do not get to spend much time with my family due to school and work, so I began to make it more of a priority to spend time with them, even if it was just watching a movie together at night. It also reignited my love of nature and just being outside, something that I had not prioritized since I was a young kid. I started taking hikes with my dogs, exploring new trails, and playing soccer again. Although my life, like pretty much everyone else’, had been completely turned upside down my the coronavirus pandemic, I was able to put a somewhat positive spin on it, by enjoying my time with my family and the chance to get outside. -
2021-02-15
Getting My BSN in COVID Land
The start of the semester was like that of any other except last semester I managed to secure an internship for the summer of 2020. Nursing school was already a difficult major to be in and I really didn’t think that it could get more difficult than that of junior year. I truly didn’t know what was to come. I will never forget being at clinical and hearing everyone mention the start of the virus. COVID-19 was on the backburner when it came to the most interesting topics of January 2020, but it would soon prove to be the most prominent in the upcoming months. I distinctly remember shadowing a nurse in the ICU one day and hearing the nurses discuss what was going to happen. “It doesn’t seem like it is coming here but trust me it is and when it does, we will need all the healthcare workers we can get.” This was a statement from one of the nurses that I will never forget hearing. At the time I didn’t fully believe the things that I were being rumored and didn’t think that we would ever be where we are today. As February and March arrived, COVID came to be part of everyone’s lives. Turning on the news, checking your timelines, and most day to day conversation held the topic of corona virus. Before we knew it, our lives changed completely. Our clinicals and classes were held remotely, you couldn’t leave your house without a mask, and we weren’t sure if we were going to be able to attend our internships. One thing that worried a lot of us was working while the virus cases began to spike. I knew that I would continue working as I was if not more than usual. Over the course of my internship I watched as COVID began to impact all the healthcare workers I was surrounded by. Safety precautions in the hospital setting were changing and at first, a lot of people were afraid to come in for their illnesses for fear of encountering a positive COVID patient. As time went on people became less and less afraid to come seek help at hospitals. With a large influx of patients coming in I could see nurses, aides, and doctors among others all begin to take the toll of the virus. This wasn’t necessarily due to exposure but more so that our exhaustion kicked in. Health care providers were and still are working countless hours to help in high census situations. The most frustrating aspect of quarantine has been watching people be noncompliant with mask requirements and stay at home orders. I wake up for work everyday and risk the wellbeing of everyone in my home including myself to help take care of those who need it. As the media has portrayed us as frontline workers, it felt slightly misleading while some of the public wasn’t contributing to lessen the blow of the ongoing problem. I started my internship to gain experience for my career. I didn’t know that I would grow accustomed to death and grief as fast as I have in the past year. COVID has shown me what it means to work hard and what struggles I can encounter in my career before I have even graduated and hold my diploma in hand. I currently work on the same unit I held my internship on as it has been converted into a COVID care unit. I go into work and experience exposure situations day by day but wouldn’t change my career for anything. The corona virus has taught me so much about what it means to be a nurse and take on healthcare as a career. In a few months as I graduate I will be prepared to take on whatever challenges it may have. -
2020-05
The Escape of Friendship
Senior year of high school my hometown friends and I all chose to go to schools in different states so when we all got sent home last March it felt strange to be back from our freshman year of college so soon, but still having to do classes completely online. About a month before college students got sent home, I joined a sorority called Sigma Kappa. These girls quickly became some of my best friends while I was still at Duquesne, and once covid-19 hit we still advanced our connections even further. Everything was shut down and online, including classes for my first time ever, and the social aspect of my life was confined to my immediate family in my house like the rest of the world. The majority of my time was either spent binging Netflix shows or spending time with my friends and family virtually through Facetime and Zoom. This became my own little paradise inside of my house in which I was sharing my experiences with the people in my life in my own area and comparing them to my friends experiences in other states. When my family started to drive me up the wall and I needed an escape, I would hop on Facetime with one of my friends from home or one of my new sisters in my sorority. Once the weather started to get warmer my friends and I followed the lead of the rest of the country’s friend groups by going to a parking lot and sitting in the trunks of our cars socially distanced to get some sort of in person contact. This activity became almost a daily occurrence to get out of our houses for a short drive and fresh air. At this point in the pandemic, I was beginning to go star crazy, and I will never forget hearing the governor of New York, Andrew Cuomo, announcing that quarantine will be extended even longer. I burst out in tears in my kitchen because all I wanted to do was hang out with my friends in a normal setting. As this was happening, I relied on my best friends virtually and spent multiple hours with them over Facetime talking it out and realizing that this will eventually come to an end and normal life will begin again soon. One of the biggest things I can take away from this part of quarantine is how much my friendships mean to me. I was not a huge fan of Facetime, but the pandemic has really made me realize how necessary it is for me to keep in contact with my friends to check up on them and have them check up on me, even in the future when normal times occur again. As terrible and heartbreaking covid-19 was and still is, my friends were truly an escape from reality for me through Facetimes, Zoom, and car circles. I believe that my friendships became even closer through this shared trauma of covid-19 and I couldn’t have gotten through lockdown without them. -
2020-12-24
Breaking Tradition while the clock continues to Tick
Every year since I was a child I always looked to the holidays for multiple great reasons. When I was young of course the idea of getting presents always trumped the other great qualities that comes with Christmas. As I grew older, I started to appreciate what these holidays really meant to me. That is family, seeing everyone all together happy for a moment in time like nothing else mattered. When Covid hit now over a year ago it seemed like a bad dream that would pass in a few weeks, but a few weeks turned into a few months which turned it over a year now. When Christmas came around this year, we knew it was going to be different and that was okay with me. What really upset me was that I wouldn’t be able to see those I’m closest to and those I cherish my time with. I am mostly referring to my grandparents, on both sides of my family I have loving grandparents who are always a joy to see. In the last few years, I have come to appreciate every time I get to see them one because I love them but also because there could be only a handful of times left that I will get to see them. It is a morbid way to look at family, but one has to come to reality that family isn’t here forever, and this fact helps me appreciate family while they are here. Covid comes into play in this story because this year the virus separated us at a time when family should be together. It deeply upset me to not be able to make another unforgettable memory with my grandparents. What really hurt me was how I could imagine they were feeling about all this. At their age family is everything and they just want to be around everyone as they are getting older. So, we tried our best to all zoom in on Christmas eve and Christmas morning to try and make it as normal as every other year. Of course, it was not the same but with the technology we have today we were still able to share some great moments through the video cameras around the room. After we had the family zoom call I could tell my grandfather really just wanted to be here with all of us and that is a hard pill to swallow on a day like Christmas. I proceeded to call him and reassure him that with time this will all go away, and we will make up for this lost time that we have all suffered through. He told me through it all through world war 2, Vietnam war and the cold war that this pandemic was the hardest to overcome in his lifetime. Which puts into perspective that this is my first true struggle to go through and has seen to be one of the worst events in recorded history. If I look at the right way, it can only get better from here and I’m ready to make up for that lost time with my close family and friends. -
2021-01-16
Attending a Football Game in a Pandemic
For much of 2020, the thought of having fans at sports games seemed far off in the distance, especially considering the part where professional sports were cancelled altogether. However, thanks to the adjustments made toward the pandemic, in January 2021, I had the opportunity to attend a NFL Divisional Playoff game between the Buffalo Bills and Baltimore Ravens in Buffalo. It took the whole season but for the playoffs, Bills fans were finally going to be let in the stadium, even if it is only at about 10 percent capacity. The process to get tickets was brief, as the game was only confirmed to host fans less than a week beforehand. We got lucky, and my dad and I were able to get tickets. One of the requirements to attend the game, was to get a COVID 19 test on the Wednesday beforehand. The tests were done simply, and quickly with the results being sent to the patient the next day. I would have been more worried to test positive and miss the game however, I had COVID already a few months beforehand and the chances of getting it again are very low. We soon received our negative results, and it was time to prepare for the game. When we arrived at the stadium the day of the game, there were significant differences to the regular pregame scene. There was no one out tailgating, which would otherwise be done all day in preparation for the game. Entering the stadium was a bit different too, on top of presenting your tickets, everyone entering was required to provide their negative COVID-19 test results to security to enter. Once inside the stadium, the most notable changes are the complete lack of seating outside of the stadium bowl. Alongside this, concessions were more limited, walkways were marked for directional flow, and everyone was required to wear a mask at all times. In the bowl, the seats were mostly taped off, with openings where people purchased tickets in small groups of two to four seats. Despite the audience capacity being around only 10 percent, I was surprised at how loud the stadium got throughout the game, it did not get quite as loud as it does at full capacity, but it was a lot louder than you would expect from only seven thousand fans. Overall, the game experience was not ruined by covid, but I hope soon we can go back to not worrying about keeping a mask up while cheering at a sporting event. -
2020-10
Keep Trucking Along
In the beginning of the year 2020 no one knew just how historical this year was going to be. As a high school senior, senoritis was really kicking in and graduation was in sight. One day, in my global studies class, on the news, we heard of this crazy virus going around in China. I remember thinking, “Oh, it’s fine. It won’t affect me in anyway.” Little did I know there was a whole storm of challenges, obstacles, and battles coming my way. At first, I thought I was just getting a nice two-week break from school and we would be back, and everything would be fine. That two weeks has tuned into over 150 days of lockdown and a completely changed way of life. Every single person all over the world was affected someway by this virus, which is crazy to think about. Nearly everyone struggled with mental health and life changes throughout this time. I did as well, and although my mental health was at its utmost low during the Covid-19 pandemic, and is still recovering as the virus is still taking its toll with a new strand and heightened cases, I want to bring attention to an even bigger struggle I dealt with during this unpredictable, utterly horrible time period: the loss of my best friend. On October 26, 2020 my grandmother passed away at the glorious age of 90. My grandmother had health issues for the past five or so years of her life, but her state started to rapidly decline in August of 2020. At this same time, I was preparing to leave for my first semester as a student-athlete at Duquesne University. Leaving my family, my friends, my hometown, and my significant other was already so difficult but adding on the fact that leaving and knowing that it would take away my last moments with my grandmother was a pain I never thought was possible. I chose to still go and start off the semester since my grandma was moving around hospitals and I could still call her and see her on weekends if I wanted to go home and do so, and it was what she wanted me to do. I talked to her right before leaving for school. With the pandemic, she was only allowed two visitors everyday between the times of 2 and 5pm. So, with the majority of our family living around the hospitals, we had to all schedule times each day so everyone could get a chance to talk to her because of the one visitor limit in the hospital rooms. And I will never forget talking to my grandmother through my face mask about college and hearing how excited and proud she was for me to be where I am in my life today. Only a few days after that conversation, my family and grandmother made the decision for her to go into a hospice facility. This hospice facility was far more strict than the hospitals. My grandmother was allowed no visitors in her room. The only way we could talk to her was over the phone. We are extremely lucky that she was given a room with a window. My family would go and stand at her window so we could see her and more importantly so that she could see us while we talked on the phone with her. I came home for a weekend or two to talk with her through her window and got to see her in her chair with her favorite blanket smiling at all the accomplishments and stories I wanted to share with her. Once her health was at its lowest and her long, well deserved time here was nearing an end, me and my two siblings got to go into her room and say our goodbyes. The next morning my mother got a phone call that my grandmother had passed away. Losing someone, especially someone so close like my grandmother was to me, is the hardest thing in life. But with a global pandemic on top of it … the difficulty and feelings of it all cannot be explained. In the end, I know my grandmother would want us to keep living our lives and “keep trucking along” as she used to say. So that is what we did. Knowing now that she is at peace, out of pain and that she does not have to deal with this crazy world situation in her unstable health condition anymore, gives me and my family closure and security during this time of uncertainty and fear. And I will always know she is right beside me, pandemic or not, watching over me and cheering me on each and every day.