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2021-06
Lasting pandemic effects of overexercising
This page from my bullet journal displays the workout I conducted each day during the month of June, 2021. The viewer should note three pertinent pieces of information to understand the necessity of this piece for the archive: the bullet journal itself, the exercise habits, and the timeline between the beginning of the pandemic to the actual entry. Primarily, I picked up the hobby of bullet journaling itself during March of 2020. I wanted a method to record my own habits – such as exercise, eating, music taste, and TV shows - in a scrapbook type format during the pandemic. Truthfully, the entire book would contribute to the archive, due to the personal detail and day-to-day routine recorded. Secondly, the workout tracker shows a slight addiction to exercise, with runs or walks every day, in addition to tens of thousands of steps I already took. These overexercising habits began for me during quarantine, with time and stress on my hands, and no healthy ways of coping. Finally, the reader should also acknowledge that I wrote this entry in June of 2021, a full 15 months after the start of lockdown in the US. That timeline shows that lingering effects of the pandemic remain, perhaps even grow with time. This artifact expresses more about my experience with the pandemic than I can articulate due to one central reason: learning self-love through exercise. Though I’d always struggled with having time on my hands, the pandemic left me feeling more uneasy with loneliness and boredom. Without a healthy way to deal with my emotions, I turned to exercise for the release and endorphins that I needed. Before I knew it, a casual workout each day led to apple watch addiction, calorie counting obsession, and cycles of binge eating and overcompensating through exercise, etc. While this sounds like my own personal journey, quarantine kickstarted and exacerbated these issues for adolescents all over the nation. With the recent introduction of tiktok “What I eat in a day” videos and Chloe Ting’s workout videos, people grew obsessive about wellness and moving their bodies. I learned so much about my body and my brain through this struggle with overexercise and obsession – and I feel grateful for that. Still though, I notice these effects in myself and others. This small contribution of a workout tracker speaks volumes about habits of teenagers after months of loneliness and free time – whether teenagers obtained an obsession with appearance, food, or exercising. And if those issues did not resurrect for some, I’d argue that the pandemic brought many other mental health challenges to surface for my age group. While this submission does little to express my emotions or challenges surrounding my exercise routine, it conveys the lingering effects of mental health tolls and body challenges from the pandemic. -
2020-05
The Class of Covid(2020-21) [MISSING MEDIA]
The picture above that I have chosen for the archive was taken around May of 2020 which is a few months after Covid-19 started spreading very quickly around the United States of America. This was the very start of online school and the era of Zoom. For future readers, Zoom was the company that acted very quickly during the start of the pandemic and made virtual meetings the most convenient and efficient for schools, companies, and friends who could not see each other in person. I personally had many online meetings with my friends when our parents would not let us out of the house in fear of the treacherous Covid that we might bring back with us. In the picture, the very last high school class of my career was over Zoom, and I could not hug or see my close friends, classmates, or teachers before graduating. My private school went from kindergarten to 12th grade in high school, so some of these people I have known for more than 8 years, and Covid prevented me and many other students across the nation and the whole world from having that sentimental last day being able to say goodbye to our favorite teachers or seeing some acquaintances before heading off to college. It is just crazy to think that it will be a very long time before another graduating high school class is forced online or in the near future when online class is just a foreign thought that would baffle kids or young adults that hear about it. -
2020-04-16
The Diary of a Broken High School Senior
I was a member of the class of 2020 at what I believe is the most incredible school imaginable. Perhaps after thirteen years I am far from unbiased, but the sense of community offered by my beautiful, 1,200 student Pre-K through 12th grade school is unmatched. Now, envision a girl who walked this campus with her childhood best friends, siblings, and cousins, and, rather frequently, her mother who made an effort to lead the Parents Association countless years. Overlay a history of homesickness and a global pandemic, and the product is March 2020 me when this blissful chapter of my life was abruptly ripped away, propelling me prematurely towards college at a school I had already decided could never fill the shoes of my high school. This tear stained entry was written on April 16th, when my state governor officially shut down all schools for the remainder of the school year. I had spent the last four weeks with a countdown on my iPhone tracking the days until I could return to school. The countdown had to be adjusted at one point when “coronacation” was extended from one to three weeks. Yet I remained the voice of naive optimism, unwilling to entertain the unfortunate reality that everyone around me had already accepted. This may seem dramatic and theatrical. But this same optimist in me hopes that, should anyone stumble upon my story, they will “respect what [they] cannot know” (Saidiya Hartman). There is much more to this story and my history than could ever be relayed to another person. But with the right lens, great value can be extracted from every story, no matter how many dried tears dot its pages. Hartman, Saidiya. "Venus in Two Acts." Small Axe, vol. 12 no. 2, 2008, p. 1-14. Project MUSE muse.jhu.edu/article/241115.