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anxiety
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2020-06-10
Sweet Treats during COVID-19
My friend Maddie sent me this selfie of her getting some churros during quarentine. We used to always go get churro's together but many places have been closed. She found a food truck that sells churro's and she decided to go get it as it requires minimal contact with people and allows for social distancing! Like me, she uses food (specifically sweets) to help with stress and anxiety! She described the change during COVID, "Before COVID one of my coping mechanisms for when I’m stressed was to go get something sweet to eat. But I had to adjust that, and now I get something sweet to-go and sit in my car while I listen to music." -
2020-05-04
Diamond Dog - HIST 393
Covid really began changing my life when the news broke that I would not be returning to my college campus. I remained home from my spring break with my family in New England and lots changed, both positive and negative. The most positive change in my life since the pandemic began has been my new family member, a mini Australian shepherd named Penny Lane. Penny is my family’s first dog and has been a big part of how we stayed sane throughout the initial craziness of Covid. Having a puppy to unite my family was a huge help because we were all feeling divided and found ourselves crashing more than usual due to the extended time at home. We were all able to bond over the teamwork required to take care of a pet and the happiness that a happy puppy brings to a household. Penny has helped all of us deal with our specific anxieties as well. In my case, I found myself becoming more reclusive, and finding motivation to do school work was more and more difficult. Experiencing a dog being happy to see me when I walked back home helped my motivation tons and made me want to retreat less into my negative thoughts. Penny had been a silver lining because we would not have gotten her if we weren’t spending so much time at home, and she made adjusting to the new way of Covid life much easier. As time has gone on, I find myself reflecting on the positive aspects of my quarantine experience more than the negative ones, and Pennny has been the most positive change in my life during he plague year. -
2020-07-27
Going to College During COVID-19: Tips for College Students and Their Parents
In this interview with infectious disease specialist Cynthia Snider and clinical psychologist David Gutterman, they outline some tips for navigating college during the COVID-19 pandemic. The pair outlines important issues like wearing a mask, social distancing, and proper hygiene. This interview also touches on the anxiety and uneasy feelings both parents and students are feeling going back to a crowded campus. All in all, it’s important to listen to oneself and keep a line of open communication, as well as stay safe and stay healthy. If everyone follows these guidelines, these two experts feel that universities should be able to allow students safely. -
2020-11-02
Election Day Feelings 2020
As many Americans hit the polls on Election Day 2020, many are left with uneasy feelings of anxiety and depression. There is so much at stake with this presidential election, including decisions about healthcare, women’s rights, the rights of the LGBTQ+ community, and the COVID-19 pandemic. Although election day is on November 3rd, it could be days before a president is chosen due to the amount of mail in ballots casted by voters. Therefore, this election day fear and anxiety could hover over many nervous Americans for days to come. With all the looming negativity, it is best to remember to keep calm and reach out to those closest for support during this very difficult time. -
2020-10-20
Suicide watch
This post is not my own but it did make me reflect. Social distancing and quarantine are affecting people in a variety of ways. Mostly increasing depression and anxiety. Last week, my cousins twelve year old daughter killed her self. On the outside her life seemed normal, some would even say she lived a privileged life. Internally though, it’s clear that she was suffering. She was silently carrying a heavy burden which because unbearable when she was no longer able to leave the four walls of her home. I can only imagine how many stories there are just like hers. COVID is killing people physically and emotionally. -
2020-10-20
Carly's Quarantunes
This is a playlist of songs I've listened to during quarantine and an explanation about each of them. -
2020-10-17
There's no cure for anxiety...
Everyone has different approaches against anxiety during Covid, from self-care to cooking and exercising. Everyone has an opinion about it, everyone has a miraculous solution. Personally, I have tried many things: watching a movie, diet, moving furniture, cleaning, etc... Sometimes works and others don't. The meme that I chose reflects how anxiety is not a simple problem that can be fixed with a time-out. Anxiety can be a serious health condition and not every advice works the same in every person. Also, we need to consider accessibility to health, the possibility for self-care, healthy food, time for exercise, etc...Not everyone has the economical stability for self-care. Is easy to say to take a warm bath, drink some wine, and forget about everything. Think about all that priority workers that are exposing themselves to keep our daily lives working. Think of nurses, doctors, teachers, immigrant farmworkers, among many others. -
0202-10-15
Fears of COVID from within the archive
Yesterday was my first official day as a curator at A Journal of the Plague Year. The only feelings I had were of complete joy and gratitude to be able to have a job, one where I get to do something that interests me, at that. But as the day went on, I began to feel something that many have tweeted about. I started to feel achy and I was coughing. Some have tweeted something like, "is it allergies or COVID?", and while I should have reflected on the fact that I had not taken my crucial allergy medicine in two days (I am severely allergic to dogs, yet I have two of them in my small apartment), I spent a good hour bundled up and lying in bed. By the afternoon, I felt completely fine. It was one thing when I would have these fleeting moments of panic, or see people online posting about their own, in the past. But it seemed to be a particularly interesting moment that right when I start a job at an archive documenting the COVID-19 pandemic, I experience one of the specific anxieties of actually living in that pandemic. I think this short instant shows how the the pandemic is both all-encompassing of everyday life and shows up in particular moments. It is at the same time impersonal and extremely personal. Despite the fact that even the illusion of being an observer is inherently participation, in one moment I went from being an outside observer of the pandemic to being subject to the worries it causes. -
2020-03-16
The Beginning of the Decline
My six year old (shown here) and my ten year old began distance learning March 16, 2020. This photographs captures my kindergartner's first day of distance learning. She found it new and exciting but that feeling did not last long. This photograph is entitled "The Beginning of the Decline" as it was the last photograph I snapped of her before she would be diagnosed with anxiety. Arizona State University, HST485 -
2020-10-09
Japanese Pokémon Cards Keep Me Sane.
I chose to write about how Japanese Pokémon cards have helped to keep me sane. While it might seem silly at first, I am serious about this topic. I’ve been diagnosed with severe anxiety, and at one point went outside in a thunderstorm holding an umbrella because my mom wasn’t home when she said she would be. Being only 6 at the time, I didn’t really understand that her job doesn’t always end at the same time everyday since she is a professor at UWSP. Going back to the anxiety and Covid, I’ve gotten much better at handling my anxiety since then, but I cannot help but worry about my family. Due to my anxiety, I need to get confirmation that they are ok before I can fully relax. I am currently in my 3rd semester of Japanese. I’m also a huge nerd, so I really like Pokémon. I saw a video on youtube of a guy opening Japanese Pokemon cards, and it clicked in my head that I could distract myself by using Pokemon cards. Since I didn’t take any classes over the summer, I used that time to practice my Japanese by translating the cards to English and comparing them to the English versions of the cards from pictures I found online. Because I was able to do that , I was able to make it through my summer mostly anxiety free. It did cost a bit, roughly $50 US dollars for 20 packs of 7 cards, but it really did help keep me sane while the world went to hell and back. -
2020-09-30
Up, Up, and Away
This was mine and my family's first trip we took during the pandemic. We had been quarantining since March and we were both essential workers so we also had been going into work everyday while so many other people were being laid off or furloughed. It was stressful because it is a pandemic and there is always worry about catching the virus and getting sick. We were also traveling with our 9-month-old son, which added even more worry to an already stressful time. This photo is important because it shows the new restrictions when it comes to flying. A mask is to be worn at all times or risk getting escorted off the plane and banned from flying with the airline again. It involved an endless amount of hand sanitizer every ten minutes or so and being hyper aware of the surfaces you are touching going through the airport. Flying is already riddled with anxiety and flying during a pandemic elevates that anxiety tenfold. -
2020-09-29
Using Humor to Deal with the Pandemic
These memes that I have taken from various social media sites that I visit. They help to show how some people are processing the global pandemic through the use of humor and memes to deal with their feelings of anxiety and fear for the future. I have taken part in this and often search the various hashtags for pandemic memes when I am feeling anxious about the pandemic. Many of my friends too share these kinds of memes with each other in our group chats or on their own blogs. -
2020-04
The impact COVID-19 had on my mental and emotional health.
My experience throughout this unexpected pandemic took a toll on my state of mental and emotional health. When I first found out about how quick this virus was spreading throughout our city, schools were still not closed officially and I was still traveling on public transportation to work. When taking public transportation, due to the lack of masks, I had to wear a scarf around my face because that was the only way I could think of protecting myself. I was anxious all the time, but most especially on the train and bus rides, my anxiety would get the best of me, so much that at times I felt like I had to hold my breath so that I can minimize my exposure to contracting this virus. Once things started getting really bad and schools and non essential jobs finally shut down, it was a slight relief. Switching from in person lectures to virtual learning was not as easy as I had thought it would be. I was now not only anxious and worried because of this pandemic and the health of myself and my loved ones but also because I was having a hard time trying to adapt to a different style of learning. I was taking two science courses, both biology and chemistry which were not the easiest topics for me. To prevent us from "cheating" professors had made the exams much harder which was another stressor. Throughout the spring semester I was staying up really late at night trying to study in every way possible so that I would do well on my upcoming exams. Whenever I had the time to sleep I just couldn't because my anxiety wouldn't let me. I would have never imagined this getting so bad, I thought maybe with quarantining we would have it under control but unfortunately this virus is still on going and who knows when we'll get back to what was considered normal. -
2020-09-24
Watching Pre-March 2020 Movies and TV Shows
I’ve spoken with a few friends about this strange phenomenon I experience sometimes when watching movies or TV shows now. When watching a movie, when I see a large number of people in a room together without masks I get a short bout of anxiety. I immediately think, “What are all those people doing in a room together without masks on?” But then I remember that the movie I’m watching was filmed before March 2020. I’ve noticed my roommates do the same thing when we watch movies together. I distinctly remember this scene in “Gone Girl” where there are many people in a large room walking around and one of my roommates said, “Wow, look at all those people in a room together.” I think this shows that while many of us view the pandemic as a temporary moment in history and will “soon” be over— the pandemic has still embedded fears and anxieties in me that I would otherwise not think about. How I would approach normal things i.e. walking around in a grocery store or watching a movie, I now approach in a completely different way. I don’t think these fears or anxieties will last very long after the pandemic is over. It’s just interesting to see the ways both my friends and myself behave towards completely normal things pre-March 2020. -
2020-09-18
A Terrible Blessing
At a time where I’ve never been more in need of a break, I received more than I had bargained for. It is early 2020, I’m in my senior year of high school and worked almost everyday after school; I almost reached my breaking point. Everything stressed me out: drama, school, work, and lack of sleep. I hoped and wished and prayed for a break, and my prayers were unexpectedly answered. At first, it seemed like Coronavirus was just another cold, but then the world collapsed and everyone shut down. I was about to get an early spring break: two weeks to flatten the curve. Yet, this break turned into a nationwide hellscape. Everyone was forced to stay home, schools closed, entertainment centers closed, hockey was postponed, and even graduation was up in the air. I’ll admit, getting to stay home everyday was a blessing for the first few weeks. Then, it started to make me go nuts. I didn’t get to see my friends or go to work or school; my life was paused. A break is only good when you enjoy it with your friends, and my friends weren’t allowed out of the house and quite frankly, neither was I. My anxiety truly peaked and I was scared things would never even begin to go back to normal. Although it was different than it should’ve been, graduation still happened. I finally was reunited with my friends and teachers and it felt amazing to accept my diploma. As for college, it has been a little stressful amidst the pandemic. Not having in person classes is extremely different and it's much harder for me to learn, but i’m managing and things are getting better by the day. This brings us to the golden thing that remains: masks. I hate having to wear a mask in public, it’s a severe pain. However, I will follow the rules until everything returns to normalcy. At the end of the day, this pandemic has taught me a valuable lesson: always appreciate what you have and live in the moment, you never know when it could come crashing down. And today and forever, I stand by this. I will cherish what the lockdown has given me and taught me, yet I had to walk through hell to get to heaven. -
2020-09-10T07:30
New Jersey School Bus Stop, September 2020
My 11 year old was not interested in doing a first day of school photo like we've done in the past. I get that it's embarrassing since "nobody else's parents walk around with big cameras." But I couldn't pass up the opportunity to preserve the moment for posterity, so I snuck a picture with my phone and cropped it afterward. I think the photo says a lot about the moment without words- the American flag, the masks, and the way the two girls are talking to each other while staying at least six feet apart. The flag represents, to me, the event that broke the idea of American exceptionalism for Americans in denial. Despite my prediction that Trump would screw up the response to the virus back in March, I was sure we'd be back to normal by the fall. I thought someone would get Trump to do the right thing. All I can say is I'm glad to live in one of the few states with strict rules that have brought our March and April infection rates low enough to have safe, hybrid, public education. -
2020-08-28
hermit HERALD VOL 1 ISSUE 59
CV UPDATES -
2020-09-03
The Mental Load Of Motherhood Has Never Been Heavier
I know I’m not the only mom hurting right now. Many moms across the world in this period of uncertainty are hurting. We’re hammered with issues. Not being able to leave our homes the way we want to. Not being able to see our friends. The fear of sending our kids to school. Deciding if we should take a vacation to bring some normalcy back into our children’s lives. To improve our mental health. Financial stress. Stress about when this pandemic will end. Taking care of our children 24/7 without a break for the last five months. Caring for kids and working at the same time. Supervising our kids’ virtual lessons. Increasing anxiety and depression. The list goes on. This pandemic has brought so many moms to their knees. I see you hurting, exhausted, anxious moms. I see you running on empty. I see the toll that it has taken on our children and on our families. I want to offer some advice that I know I would appreciate getting. Next time you see a mother and want to offer support in a way that won’t kick her while she’s already down, rather than tell her to find a silver lining in this chaos that we are living in, simply respond with “I am here for you. We will get through this together. I know it’s hard.” -
2020-08-18
Staying openminded and self-improving during COVID-19
During COVID-19 for me, as a teenager, staying in my room for almost 2 months was extremely hard and seemed unachievable. I had to manage with a ton of stress and anxiety as isolation was not a part of my natural habitat. However, after some period of time, it came to my mind that I have to find a substitution for hanging out with friends and doing outdoor activities. One of my hobbies and new addictions was going to my mom’s bookshelf and picking out books that have caught my eye. On the image above are three books that made me fall in love with literature and made me open my individual thoughts to myself. Through the words of other authors, I was able to not feel alone and get closer with my emotions and inner beliefs. This kind of activity made me devour myself into the stories and lives of the characters that substituted my isolated life and created a safe place for my imagination and conceptions. I am extremely grateful that I was able to explore this new part of my personality and extend my inner world during such a hard time as the pandemic. -
2020-08-10
Customer Service in a Global Pandemic
I have been working during the COVID-19 pandemic at a beverage/fast food restaurant. When all the news about the pandemic first started coming in, a lot of my co-workers just said that it was not a big deal and that it was basically the flu. However, there were also people who felt the complete opposite. I, like most people, try to gauge how I feel about something by listening to how others feel and researching the issue. Since it felt like there was not much true information going around, I felt I had to rely on other people's opinions in the beginning. That was a rollercoaster! I feel like in the beginning, there was no inbetween! People were either incredibly opposed to the fact that this virus is actually killing people, or they were terrified by it. I did not know how to feel. Eventually, I began to realize how serious this situation was. In these past months, I have been through many different mindsets. When I really started to realize how serious this situation was, I decided I would not leave my house. And I didn't. I took a month and a half off of work and stayed inside all day fearing the outside world. Little did I know, this was when there were very few cases in my area. After that, I began working again. My next mindset was that I needed to do all I could to keep myself safe because I needed to work. I began to think, if I get it, I get it. All I can do is try my best to stay clean and safe. But that didn't stay for long because my mindset would change constantly. I am writing this for my english class and I am required to add the hashtag -
2020-07-20
The Road Home & the dust on my feet
I returned to the Philippines from London in June, and I wanted to make sure that my experience was catalogued among others like it. I'm planning to add more entries, but this is the first. I wrote it out very like a report, and the succeeding entries will likely expound a little bit more about the experience, firsthand, of bureaucracy on the ground, and the people it most affects; how slowly the government response arrives, and who bears the brunt of this inefficiency. -
2020-06-05
Panic
Because of the pandemic, I was so scared especially when I saw people walking without mask on street. I stayed home for three months and barely went outside. I did not have any social life, which almost drove me crazy.