Items

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  2020-03-05

  Germs and Touch: Contact OCD during the pandemic

  The pandemic, rather the first 5 months, was debilitating for my mental health. I suffer from a type of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) called "Contamination OCD". This could also be known as germaphobia. When the pandemic began, I began to be cautious. I would slide my sleeves over my hands to open doors at the college I was attending. I stopped touching things directly. For years I already practiced this in the bathroom, such as not touching stall locks before using the toilet or always washing my hands before and after I went. Due to medical issues, my doctors advised me to truly quarantine for 30 days or more. This sent my anxiety into a severe shock. I truly, genuinely did not leave my home for 30 days. There may have been a few trash outings but I did not go to the stores or see friends; nothing. It is hard to describe how my touch was affected, especially if the reader does not understand contamination OCD. An example that truly became a problem for me is Amazon packages. For everyone else, Amazon was still running and this allowed everyone to still have fun; to still live. For me, any package I took in, I used gloves. I would not touch the box. In my mind, the carrier could have had COVID, which would be outside the box. Inside, the handler could have coughed on the item as well. Even the manufacturer could have contaminated it. I cut trash bags in half and laid my items on them as I carefully dissected each one. Anything that came into my home, groceries too, was wiped down with bleach or Clorox wipes (if I had them). Amazon packages were quarantined for 10-14 days in a cupboard so the alleged virus would die and then I could use it. I remember how dry my hands were from washing 20 times a day, at least. The way the bleach would hurt my hands if I forgot gloves. Clorox wipes were familiar and on ration as I cut each one in half to make them last. The gloves I had were the last box in my city after searching for a whole day. I had tickets booked to Seoul, South Korea the first week of March 2020...which was obviously cancelled. For me, everything was dirty until I got to it. Even then, I barely trusted it. My couches, handles, walls, phone, laptop, window, groceries, bags, clothing, and more all went through cleaning as they came into my home. I would never sit on any furniture in "dirty" clothes from the outside. I had to shower and throw them in the wash. My mind was obviously anxious and ill. While I have severely recovered and pushed those limits, I still find myself holding onto those habits, knowing the risk is still out there. My hands still dry out from washing and I use hand sanitizer too much. I haven't had COVID yet, so I am holding out.
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  2020-04-01

  Forbidden Things: Benches, Parks, Buttons, Swings

  When the coronavirus pandemic caused severe lock downs to be put in place in March and April of 2020 throughout Queensland, local councils and other entities were quick to put up signs of warning about the virus and what actions had been banned as a consequence of it. These photos were taken between the 1st and the 11th of April 2020, generally while participating in the allowed activity of exercising outdoors, once per day. In those early days, the prevailing advice that was shared, and reflected in these photographs, was that the virus could be easily spread through touching shared surfaces (as opposed to airborne transmission). Therefore there was a focus on warning people not to touch or use certain objects in public places, and many previously bustling public spaces such as dog off leash parks were closed to the public. Now, as of April 2021, the advice is quite different, and the "don't push the button: pedestrian crossing now automated" stickers have been removed from many crossings. I took these photos at the time because I felt it was important to document some of the things I saw during the pandemic (that were a direct consequence of the pandemic). This is because it is easy to forget things that occurred or to have flawed memories of events that decay further over time. At the time I found (and still find) the photos to be eerie and unsettling, the familiar world around me changed in a way that I had not experienced before.
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  2020-11-03

  Spyglass Golf

  In may of 2020 I qualified for a major golf tournament at one of the most famous courses in Norcal, Spyglass hill. It was an amazing experience. The only downside was that there had to be modifications to the tournament due to COVID-19. These modifications were nothing major. The most impactful one was the fact that we could not take the pin out of the hole before we putt. It is a strange thing to look at when you are so used to an open hole to roll your ball into. However, my favorite part about any tournament gotta stay the same. The sound of solid contact with a golf ball. I was just thankful to be out on the course and not stuck inside, getting to feel and hear what a pure swing feels like once you make contact directly in the middle of the club face.