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facetime
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2020-05
The Escape of Friendship
Senior year of high school my hometown friends and I all chose to go to schools in different states so when we all got sent home last March it felt strange to be back from our freshman year of college so soon, but still having to do classes completely online. About a month before college students got sent home, I joined a sorority called Sigma Kappa. These girls quickly became some of my best friends while I was still at Duquesne, and once covid-19 hit we still advanced our connections even further. Everything was shut down and online, including classes for my first time ever, and the social aspect of my life was confined to my immediate family in my house like the rest of the world. The majority of my time was either spent binging Netflix shows or spending time with my friends and family virtually through Facetime and Zoom. This became my own little paradise inside of my house in which I was sharing my experiences with the people in my life in my own area and comparing them to my friends experiences in other states. When my family started to drive me up the wall and I needed an escape, I would hop on Facetime with one of my friends from home or one of my new sisters in my sorority. Once the weather started to get warmer my friends and I followed the lead of the rest of the country’s friend groups by going to a parking lot and sitting in the trunks of our cars socially distanced to get some sort of in person contact. This activity became almost a daily occurrence to get out of our houses for a short drive and fresh air. At this point in the pandemic, I was beginning to go star crazy, and I will never forget hearing the governor of New York, Andrew Cuomo, announcing that quarantine will be extended even longer. I burst out in tears in my kitchen because all I wanted to do was hang out with my friends in a normal setting. As this was happening, I relied on my best friends virtually and spent multiple hours with them over Facetime talking it out and realizing that this will eventually come to an end and normal life will begin again soon. One of the biggest things I can take away from this part of quarantine is how much my friendships mean to me. I was not a huge fan of Facetime, but the pandemic has really made me realize how necessary it is for me to keep in contact with my friends to check up on them and have them check up on me, even in the future when normal times occur again. As terrible and heartbreaking covid-19 was and still is, my friends were truly an escape from reality for me through Facetimes, Zoom, and car circles. I believe that my friendships became even closer through this shared trauma of covid-19 and I couldn’t have gotten through lockdown without them. -
2020-04
Family facetime
At the start of lockdown it became clear that my family would not be able to see each other for a while. Most of my family lives in Sydney, some of us live in Melbourne, regional Victoria and Canada. In response, my sister initiated a Coffey Family FaceTime every night at 6:30pm with whoever was available. However, this meant teaching my grandmothers how to use Facebook and how to start a call. More than 8 months later and both my grandmothers still can’t turn their video on without direction and also can’t start Facebook calls. This call kept us together when we felt far away. Celebrating father’s day and birthdays and anniversaries on FaceTime made some moments more memorable and some feel more lonely. Face timing each other was fun until there was a family dinner in Sydney and you couldn’t leave the state. However, there were fun moments, stirring up my parents dogs by yelling “walkies” or “dindins” and then leaving the call, FaceTiming on empty trams and using the weird face effects to confuse my grandmother about who’s camera was whose. The call gave structure to the days spent inside and caused me to talk to my grandmothers and extended family more about the current world events. HIST30060 -
2020-05-15
Please focus a little bit.
My fourteen year old brother struggles so much with staying focused on work. When we went to online learning, he started falling behind immediately. To help him focus on work, I would sit in his room and go through each piece of work with him so he would stay engaged. He got completely caught up and stayed on top of work until the end of the school year. I lost hours and hours of time. Up to six hours a day that I would spend sitting next to him trying to get him to finish a math sheet, not text his friends back, and encourage him to add another sentence. this was on top of my own schoolwork each day. It felt like a waste of my time, to sit there staring at a wall while he worked through each piece of homework. I was grateful to spend time with him that I normally would have been at school for, but I still felt like it was hours of time I was using for nothing. He would ignore me, fight me, lock me out of his room and refuse to work. He would also make me laugh until I could not breathe, show me a new way of approaching a problem or question, and smile at me when he was proud of himself. Now, he calls me two to three times a day. He tells me about school, his friends, things that are bothering him, and tells me about what he is learning about and reading. He does all of his schoolwork in my room at home and frequently calls me from my own desk to update me on something small. My dorm would be a lot more lonely without the consistent ring of his Facetime calls. Quarantine and virtual learning is now something I am extremely grateful for. My brother and I are closer than ever and I contribute that entirely to online learning and the time I was able to spend with him that normally would have been spent in my high school building. None of those hours were wasted sitting next to him while he worked, they are all showing their worth as he calls me to tell me about his day, something he used to be very closed-mouth on but now initiates. I am grateful for that time I was able to spend with him, and am grateful for safer at home, with the acknowledgment that I wish that time had come from a less deadly cause, but since it did happen and I could not control it, I look back gratefully on that time. The attached photo is from photography outings we started taking during online learning. He would use my Nikon and frame photos while telling me about why he thought it would make a cool photo. We would be out there for hours watching geese, turtles, birds, muskrats, and frogs sharing each other’s silent company. They are some of my favorite memories with him, and one of the highlights of my 2020 -
2020-09-02
Keeping in Touch With Angie
COVID-19 has affected several of my relationships and how I have stayed in contact with friends. I wanted to talk about how COVID-19 has changed my interactions with one of my friends, Angie. I have known Angie for several years but we became really close friends when we attended the same church congregation in Provo, Utah from 2015-2016. When I graduated from school in Spring 2018, I moved away from Provo for an internship and I haven’t lived in Provo since. Angie also graduated around the same time and she continued to work in the same area. Normally, Angie and I will visit one another every other month and get lunch or I would spend the weekend with her at her apartment. The last time I was with Angie before COVID-19 lockdown began was in February. I was staying with her for a weekend in Provo, Utah for a wedding. On February 7, we got Korean BBQ bowls and went to an art museum. The next morning we woke up early and got kolaches. And I was thinking we’d get together soon in another month or so. For Angie’s birthday that same month, I sent her a sun hat because we made plans with our other two friends to go to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina in June. But with the news of the onset of COVID-19 a few weeks later, we ended up canceling those plans. After a FaceTime call in April, we both figured out that we needed ways to stay connected while social-distancing safely. However, we didn’t have any new things to report because we were social-distancing. So we started our audiobook club to give ourselves something to chat about. So far we have listened and discussed The Only Plane in the Sky: An Oral History of 9/11, I Am Malala: The Story of the Girl Who Stood Up for Education and Was Shot by the Taliban, and White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism. We are currently listening to Born a Crime: Stories From a South African Childhood. Neither of us remembered who suggested our book club, but I’m glad we have stayed connected through it. Both Angie and I have enjoyed each of these books. They have made us much more knowledgeable about the world around us and I like discussing them with Angie. My favorite book we read together was White Fragility. We read it in response to the death of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor. As white women, we realized we needed to better educate ourselves. We had a tough conversation, but I’m glad I had it with Angie who is incredibly compassionate and thoughtful. Besides our book club, we have had video chats with some other friends and we’ve texted one another. I finally saw Angie in person while she was passing through where I lived. We cautiously sat outside 6 feet apart and ate popsicles on my grass lawn. And I met her boyfriend for the first time! The pandemic has changed how I connect with my friends. I rely much more on technology and scheduled calls. I have learned to cut myself and others some slack for this situation because there is so much more social friction than before. Weirdly enough,in some ways it has helped with my social anxiety because I don’t feel FOMO (a.k.a. The “fear of missing out”). We’re all in the same crappy boat. The pandemic has also helped me think about why certain people are my friends. Now it’s less about proximity or someone’s availability but more so about someone’s loyalty, kind heart, or strong values. -
2020-07-12
Laughing with my Family from Over Six Feet Apart
On a Sunday this past July, my cousin texted me out of the blue saying that she was about to start driving from her home in Oakland, CA to Los Angeles and that she would love to stop in Santa Barbara, CA to have lunch with me. I was really excited to get her text, because I had been feeling extremely lonely that weekend. I hadn't seen any family members in-person since March, since I don't live very near any of them. My cousin had been following social distancing guidelines extremely carefully since March, and I had also been following them while allowing myself a little more freedom. Given that, we didn't even consider having a not socially distant lunch. I picked up food from a restaurant for us and set chairs far apart for us to eat in my front yard. When my cousin arrived, she even volunteered to go the bathroom in yard so that she didn't have to enter my house. I thought that was a little over-the-top, and we ultimately decided it was okay for her to come in wearing a mask to use my bathroom. We had a great lunch, just eating and laughing. It was so uplifting to be in the same vicinity as a loved one. Then my sister FaceTimed us from her home in Chicago with her baby. This is where things got pretty hilarious. We tried to set up my computer in a way that allowed my cousin and me to both see and be seen while also staying more than six feet apart. It was nearly impossible, but our attempts made us laugh so hard. It just felt like such silly thing to be doing. I had such a great time with my cousin for those couple of hours. Her presence and all of the laughter definitely lightened my mood. -
2020-03-22
Family Photo
This photo is important to me because it shows how having to be at home forced me to communicate with my loved ones in different ways. I think the photo also represents a strengthened relationship between my boyfriend and I and my sister and I, and how the three of us became friends. -
2019-04-01
Instant Update
My MacBook Pro has kept me updated on the current pandemic and news. During lockdown, many days were spent watching movies when I was not outside spending time out on the water, paddle boarding or snorkeling.