Items

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  April 19, 2020

  In Memory of Richard Sturges

  My dad passed away a week ago today after contracting COVID-19 in a SI nursing home and transferring to SIUH. When we first learned of my dad’s diagnosis in the nursing home, his doctor prescribed him hydroxychloroquin which he had been using with good results on other patients. However upon trying to fill the prescription learned that the NY Health Dept under order by the Governor, had restricted the use of this drug to hospital patients only. You can imagine our dismay to learn this and our family immediately jumped into action contacting every state legislator about this horrific restriction on the elderly and nursing homes. The two who stepped forward to answer our calls and hear our concerns were Borough President Oddo and State Senator Lanza and they made many calls on our behalf. Before long the restriction on nursing homes was lifted, hopefully before too many lives were lost, but the ban remains on any other New Yorker who tests positive and is not hospitalized. My brother and sister, along with their spouses, have now tested positive. Two of them are first responders and had a lot of difficulty getting tested. I have been staying with and caring for my mom through this time and fortunately we have managed to avoid contracting this virus, so far. My dad was buried 2 days after he died. The Navy showed up to play taps and present my mother with a flag “on behalf of the President and a grateful nation”, my dad would have liked that. The picture is attached and I think says a thousand words. Only my siblings and mother were allowed to attend the burial, a funeral is not allowed at this time. We all wore masks and stood apart from each other and afterwards drove home to our separate houses…truly heartbreaking. The fact that my dad was isolated for weeks before his passing is the hardest thing for my mom to bear. They are lifelong Staten Islanders and this is their story…. Thank you.
• 
  2022-04-09

  Covid sped up my great grandmothers death

  My great grandmother was diagnosed with dementia and was living in a nursing home for a few years, she started to get worse when the pandemic started so but we weren't able to visit her due to covid-19. She began to become very depressed due to the lack of visits and her son (my grandfather) had been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in June and was given up to 6 months to live. My grand father died on October 19th of 2020, my great grandmother caught covid while in her nursing home and on November 20th 2020 my great grandmother died from covid-19. Even though she was dying of dementia, covid sped up the process and caused her to die alone in a nursing home. I couldn't even burry her like she would have wanted because the nursing home had her cremated for contamination purposes. I would give anything to be able to hold her hand as she passed and give her a proper funeral that she would have wanted but covid compromised this.
• 
  2021-04-21

  Grieving a non-covid death

  My grandfather on my dad’s side passed in April 2021. It’s coming close to a year mark at my time of writing this. I think that being in a time surrounded by so much death and loss that we have forgotten about those who have died during this time unrelated to Covid. He had suffered kidney failure in late 2013/early 2014, that part of my life is blurry in memory so I don’t recall exactly, but he had been on dialysis ever since. It’s been hard to talk about his passing, everyone assumes that death in the last two years always has to do with Covid. Death is never easy to talk about, but it is inevitable for every living creature. My grandfather was old and had been sick for a long time, he lived a long and happy life. I don’t mean that in some cheesy way, he truly did. I carry a tremendous amount of guilt surrounding his death. Due to Covid restrictions, I didn’t get to see him for a year leading up to the week that I spent with him while he was in the hospital, then hospice. I still think about him all the time and the last days that I got to spend with him. I don't think I'll ever get to have that closure I want due to this. It’s almost as if we had expected death due to illness, accident, age, anything else, expected to stop. Yet, death of all causes never stops.
• 
  2020-10

  Pandemic Birthday at the Aquarium

  Last October 2020 I celebrated my 22nd birthday. Between COVID-19 and the death of my father, my birthday wasn't high on my list of things to prioritize. However, my family and I decided last minute to go to Mystic Aquarium in Connecticut as it is one of my favorite places & they had socially-distant protocols in place. I enjoyed seeing the belugas, seals, penguins, and jellyfish in a safe and distant manner.
• 
  2021-08-16

  from the eyes of a teacher

  A friend of mine is a teacher for the Los Angeles School District. She shared on social media how Covid has impacted her school and its students.
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  2020-04-09

  Grieving Rituals Lost to COVID-19

  Rituals are an important way to celebrate special occasions and victories as well as to deal with the stresses of life. This article discusses the grieving process people have gone through because of the loss of rituals (graduations, funerals, weddings) during the pandemic and the importance of creating new rituals.
• 
  2020-04-28

  The effect of suppressing funeral rituals during the COVID-19 pandemic on bereaved families*

  This documental study was intended to understand the meanings individuals who have lost loved ones in this context assign to the phenomenon of suppressed funeral rituals.
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  2021-03-27

  Snapshots of some of the lives lost...

  The coronavirus has taken the lives of more than 546,000 Americans and counting. Those we've lost come from all backgrounds and include the very people -- first responders and medical staff -- who have been working so diligently and selflessly to stem the tide of the infection and care for the sick. But the virus has also highlighted the disparities in the U.S. -- taking a disproportionate toll on communities of color, the elderly and the poor. Here's a look at some of the lives lost:
• 
  2020-08-09

  Dear 2021

  Dear 2021, A promise, once spread out the hope of an uncertain rebirth of life. A light reflected the forgotten words of a mocking society through the shattered glass. We wanted the upcoming year to be full of joy, happiness and as what used to be always, full of social interactions. Upon 2020, nonplussed, we decided to step ahead, having no expectations on how threatening this step would be. At the beginning it seemed like a single country situation, we didn’t care much. Friends still hug each others, terrorism and riots kept on going and so did pollution. A day followed the other, and suddenly a shut down came by. Universe made its call and it was time for it to balance things out. I guess that we, this generation created a massive hustle, impacting the world positively and also negatively. During this strange and silent period, the world is brought to think and reflect. In a population that used to buy, consume and work on a daily base, where Sundays or Saturdays were ways to get a small breath in a suffocating life, a virus came and all of us were suddenly forced to stay at home. An era full of misdeeds and confusion, little human being suddenly did become the possible killer of an elder. Days felt hard, long and the promised hidden light at the end of tunnel was less and less viewable. But a question belongs among us, why is staying at home so fervent, when a century ago our ancestors were forced to kill and fight for the promise of a future peace? Birds were hiding to die, sign of misfortune. Death marks the end of a life, but never the ending of a grief. A new flag was raised and it was a blue mask. A new weapon , hand sanitizer. Eyes brought us back to a time where the information wasn’t easily obtainable, old times of an enjoyable sorrow. In these deep moment, death or illness was accepted, shunned but certainly not forgotten. The concerned families were brought to burry their heads underwater and scream pain silently. A connected generation begged for freedom, to let their hands go and restart living, start back what made us this new generation, the 21st century people. In a way this burning request can be seen as a demand of life, normality or even just a spirit call. Spirit has always made itself more living than simple materialism, so have we learned? Were we ready to grow up, and face the upcoming burdens? Is life going to come back as normal? Dear 2021, be kind to us, to the world. Sinner and Saints, killers and savers, blacks and whites, Homos and heteros, all of us threw a stone, set a margin in this so called life. Coming out from the isolation period, contact were made back, but different. Activities and work took back place, but different. The social system fired back, but different. The difference is not that big, but nowadays hygiene Normas become the main focus of health services; but this slight change is very impactable. I’d like to quote a blogger on this platform named Kristijan,17 from North Macedonia that sparkled the fact : "three things I don't leave my home without: my phone, my wallet and a face mask." back to normal but different. Dear 2021, let this year be brighter and let the human kind learn. we are all humans, so keep us united. From 2020 youth- Elyés Ayadi
• 
  2020-07-07

  2020 can feel like a nonstop spectacle of grief and exhaustion led by a menacing villain.

  2020 can feel like a nonstop spectacle of grief and exhaustion led by a menacing villain (think of the bad guy from @disneyaladdin) . One thing that helps me break free from this is taking a moment, putting on my favorite song, and dancing like no is watching. (think of the bad guy from @disneyaladdin) . One thing that helps me break free from this is taking a moment, putting on my favorite song, and dancing like no is watching.
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  2021-03-16

  Local support group helps grieving families who lost loved ones to COVID-19

  With COVID-19 restrictions, handling grief is difficult. The normal ways of showing support for a family, or person, that has suffered a death are not currently possible. People are isolated and are unable to receive the emotional support they need to handle the loss. Those who have lost loved ones to COVID-19 seem particularly hard hit by the grief and isolation. In response, a grief center in Cincinnati has started a special online support group for people who have lost loved ones to COVID-19.
• 
  2020-10-23

  Dance to Express Grief

  It's been 39 days since Dawn Wooten, a nurse at a Georgia ICE facility, exposed mass hysterectomies were being performed on women for unexplained reasons. This week, 19 women at this facility came forward confirming Dawn's complaints and sharing doctors performed, or pressured them to undergo “medically unnecessary” surgery without their consent, including procedures that limit their ability to have children. In these photos, Ananya Chatterjea, Founder of the Ananya Dance Theatre, shares a dance piece expressing grief and resilience.
• 
  2020-07-22

  Funerals of Family Abroad: Losing a Grandfather in the Heat of the Pandemic

  Covid-19 has taken many things from me over the almost year that it has been running rampant around the United States, however, the biggest thing that Covid-19 has taken away from me was the opportunity for me to attend my Opa's funeral this summer. He, unfortunately, passed away from complications related to a stroke and my grandmother was able to see him in the hospital, but it was heartbreaking to not be able to attend his funeral in person. His death was rather sudden and so my family had not really been expecting it. When I first heard of his death I immediately thought about the fact that I would not be able to go to his funeral and that the last time I had seen him the year before would be the last time that I would be able to see him.
• 
  2021-02-04

  My Grandma's Passing

  Travel restrictions and emotional impact.
• 
  2020-10

  Family Inheritance

  My grandmother passed in July 2020, a few months after the Covid-19 pandemic began in the United States. She left behind a lot of miscellaneous things, including a number of family heirlooms that I have inherited. When we were packing up her trailer and storage containers, we had totes upon totes filled with family documents, awards, newspaper clippings, objects, and photographs. I feel as if I have my own personal archive of our family within these totes. I can't help being emotional about these things I now possess and grateful that my grandmother was a family-history hoarder. I can carry her memory on by taking care of them. One of the various objects was this letter/certificate in a frame, giving thanks and recognition to my great-grandfather for his military service after he had passed. I don’t know much about the paper itself, it seems pretty common and not a unique letter, but it was something nice and surprising to find within the boxes.
• 
  2020-11-18

  How art helps us make sense of COVID-19's incomprehensible toll

  Across the country, people have been making public art installations in memory have those that died due to COVID-19. Some of these memorials are meant to help people understand the large scope of death, others are meant to help the creators and viewers start to heal after loss.
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  2020-10-18

  Documenting Grief: A Mother And Son Grow Closer Despite Loss

  As with almost everything, COVID-19 has affected funerals. We hear about those that die and the funerals that are held but, we don't hear about how not being able to travel has affected the grieving process. Photography student Jacob Moscovitch's grandmother passed away in April and his family was unable to attend the funeral in Israel. He decided to photography his mother's grieving process as a way to heal.
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  2020-06-27

  The American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry Examines Covid-19 Grief Among Elderly

  Doctors Joseph S. Goveas and M. Katherine Shear anticipate an increase in prolonged grief disorder after the pandemic. They contend that this will hit older Americans particularly hard. Their research begins with an anecdote about Alice, a 78-year-old woman, who lost her brother Charles, aged 69. The two were very close. According to the article, Alice felt guilty that she could not be with Charles during his moments. After his death, she experienced loss of sleep and weight loss, although it was not severe enough to be categorized as major depression. Below is her story from the article. “Seventy-eight-year-old Alice lost her only sibling, Charles, age 69, to the coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19). Alice and Charles lived in different towns but were very close, speaking daily on the phone for hours. They were practicing Christians and had similar interests. He often drove to visit her. They enjoyed spending time with each other and doing things together. Despite having coronary artery disease and hypertension, Charles was independent and happy. Alice was shocked to learn he had been hospitalized for COVID-19 pneumonia and that he was intubated and on a ventilator. A bereavement coordinator reached out to her, which she very much appreciated. However, Alice declined an offer to visit Charles, frightened of contracting the disease herself. She understood that she, too, was at high risk for dying of COVID-19 because of her age. Although she tried to reach out to him via Skype, Charles died with only the bereavement coordinator and hospital staff at his side. Alice completed the funeral arrangements via Skype. Charles was cremated without her being present, and his ashes were delivered to her. Several weeks after his passing, Alice was plagued by remorse for abandoning her dying brother. She yearned to be with Charles and could not believe he was gone. She fluctuated between numbness, overwhelming sadness, and intense guilt. She could not stop thinking that she failed her brother during his last days. She was having trouble sleeping and was beginning to lose weight but did not meet criteria for major depression. She liked to reminisce about fond memories of Charles and knew he was with God. She had confidence in the religious belief that she would see him again one day. She also knew that she wanted to live and that she would carry Charles in her heart for the rest of her days. She continued to talk with the hospital bereavement coordinator weekly, an important source of solace. They often discussed the details of her plan to hold a memorial service in celebration of Charles’ life after pandemic restrictions are lifted.”
• 
  2020-10-08

  The Time to Grow is Now

  2020 was a year that started with a struggle. On December 6th, 2019, my childhood best friend, Collin, died from a drug overdose. He was the first person that was my friend in this world. 3 days before my 21st birthday, he was gone. I have never grieved a person like this in my life. The pain stuck with me like nothing I had experienced. No matter where I was or what I was doing, I could only think of Collin. In February, right before everything shut down, my friend Jeff and I went to New York City. On Collin's birthday, we went to a drag show, and I could feel the world breaking under my feet knowing he couldn't be there. During quarantine, he was always on my mind. I was stuck in a house with 4 other 21-year-olds for months on end. It was suffocating. Processing trauma and grief in a world without distractions as been one of the hardest challenges of my life. I recently moved back to my hometown where I am surrounded by memories of Collin and other past traumas. It is especially difficult to process traumas in a new place during a pandemic. A hug has never felt so cherished. Community has never felt closer but also so far apart. I am grateful for the friends I see and people I am close to in a new way. While the world can feel like its crumbling, there is always a smile to be had. I can now smile when I pass places I went with Collin as a kid. The world slowing down has made sit with these feelings in a way I never could before. I had so much time to feel everything. Collin's name makes me smile and I feel so blessed to have known him. COVID made my world slow down enough to get through this loss.
• 
  2020-08-22

  Facebook obituary

  My husband's aunt died from COVID. She had complications with a previous lung condition, and went to the hospital, but ultimately didn't survive. His uncle held a virtual mass to commemorte her life, held by the Santa Ana church. His uncle is absolutely gutted, and tested postivie for COVID as well. Luckily, he survived, but it pains him to survive without his beloved by his side. Peru, loss, grief, mass, death, virtual, obituary