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Creator is exactly
Kathryn Jue
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2021-11-28
JOTPY High School Reflection
This is the optional extra credit assignment given to students at Garden Grove High School in Orange County, CA to complete over Thanksgiving Break. For context, these students are juniors who experienced school closure during their freshman year, spent their entire sophomore year over Zoom, and did not set foot on campus again until the first day of school this year. Garden Grove High is a Title One school that serves a population where 65% of students are identified as economically disadvantaged. The ethnic/racial breakdown of the student body is: 50% Hispanic, 41% Asian, and 6% White. -
2021-07-16
A Tale of Two Regions
Since we aren’t getting on a plane any time soon, we road tripped it up to Tahoe. Taking advantage of having our car, we decided to drive out to places we would normally never visit, such as Sutter’s Mill and Donner Pass. As my husband called it, it was the Huell Howser California Gold tour. Something that was immediately noticeable was the rarity of people wearing masks around Tahoe and through the desert. Though mask mandates were lifted in CA June 15 for the vaccinated, I’d say about 50% of people still wear them (including my family) where we live. However, out in the more rural deserts and mountain areas, there was not a mask to be seen. I thought it was extremely interesting at Sutter’s Mill, which is a state park a couple of hours from Sacramento. The Park Rangers all wore masks indoors, and signs indicated unvaccinated must wear masks indoors. However, the tour of Sutter’s is all outdoors, with the exception of going into some of the historic buildings. I was a little nervous because I worried about my unvaccinated children going on a tour with possibly unvaccinated strangers who wouldn’t have to wear masks. However, when the tour began, I noticed all the families (all strangers to us) on the tour were wearing masks. Our docent asked each family where they were from and we were all from Los Angeles or Orange County. We all remained masked the whole tour. Our docent even commented “you know you can take off your masks outside?” He said it really nicely, but everyone remained masked. This regional difference was extremely interesting to me. I suppose Southern Californians may have a different way of thinking because our case counts were so incredibly high during the winter that they built field hospitals and ambulances were unable to pick up patients. Maybe that has made us more cautious. It was a literal war zone with the enemy being an invisible virus. Or maybe it’s just that every family on our tour took the same kind of vacation we did for the same reason - wanting a vacation but wanting to be outdoors, avoiding planes, and being able to safely distance. Donner State Park also had COVID protocol still in effect, with their interactive displays turned off. -
2021-07-18
Shifting Back
My family was certainly filled with hope and a bit of relief when our county’s numbers began to steady at 30 cases a day with a positivity rate below 0.5 by June. However, we didn’t let down our guard. My husband’s best friend since childhood is an MD with the county and in May told us the Delta variant is here. We asked what that means and he said “well, outdoors you should be okay, but wear a mask indoors and don’t let anyone breathe on you.” He said this knowing we’re vaccinated and that our two kids, one being his goddaughter, are not old enough to get the vaccine. Numerous times since summer started I ruefully told my husband and mom “enjoy it while we can” because I think we all knew a spike would come once California lifted its COVID restrictions on June 15. It’s taken only a few weeks for LA to return to 1000 cases per day, and where we live in OC, daily cases have jumped from 30 a day to 150 a day in two weeks. Yesterday, the case count was 250 for one day. The variant is here. LA is taking swift action. Effective today, LA’s mask mandate is back in place for unvaccinated and vaccinated alike. It was immediately noticeable when we picked up dinner at King’s Hawaiian. The outdoor tent is up for to go orders pick up and mask mandate signs are posted. Honestly, if people just accepted the practice of wearing masks, I really do think it could help us return to pre June 15 levels. The report I read this week indicated that 100% (which sounds crazy, but it was cited) of the COVID hospitalizations in LA county are unvaccinated. It’s so strange to me that it is the unvaccinated who are so against wearing masks. I’m honestly wearing my mask to protect them, statistics seem to indicate if I get Delta, it should be mild. I just wish my kids could get the vaccine. Oh well, here’s to hoping the mask mandate comes back in the OC, too. -
2021-08-03
Quarantine Hair
Christmas 2019 we gifted my kids (and mom) a Disney cruise for August 2020. Our plan was for my daughter and I to chop our hair right before the cruise. The cruise never happened, and neither did our haircuts. Fast forward to a year later. My hair dresser now works from out of her home, having lost her shop. Knowing that she is vaccinated and only sees one household at a time, I decided to finally get our hair cut. My baby’s first haircut only took (almost) 11 years! It was refreshing to say good bye to our quarantine hair, if only we could say goodbye to COVID, too. -
2021-07-23
First Race in a Pandemic World
Terrified, I put on my shoes and walked over to the canyon. I’m always nervous before a race - where will I place? What if I can’t finish? It’s adrenaline talking. This time, it was different. For the first time since early 2020, I was competing in a race, outside, with other people. When I signed up, the case count was the lowest it had been since the original shut down. I was nervous, but excited. Then Delta exploded. As the numbers climbed, I tried running with a mask that week. Two days before the race, I made it 3 miles and had to take it off. This was the Hot and Hilly 10K I was prepping for. It’s over 90 degrees and the course is all hills. I knew I wouldn’t be able to do the mask the whole time. I also knew the course had narrow parts, wide enough for only one runner. What happened if I got in a group? Was being outside enough to dissipate the virus, like current advice suggests? Or is Delta more potent? And is there a difference between standing outside unmasked and running full speed unmasked in a group of other people roughly and heavily drawing air in and out? As I waited for the gun, I wore my mask. I was the only one and that didn’t bother me. In fact, I was a little self conscious that I would be judged but I think everyone was just focused on the trail. When the race began, there was a natural small bottleneck. I left my mask on. About a mile in, I had to take it off. Luckily, the crowd had thinned. Since I am not an elite runner, I wasn’t doing the 7 minute miles of the head of the pack. On the flip, I also am not slow. I was able to find a sweet spot where I could see the front of the pack in the distance, but was far enough ahead of the average runners that I was not in a crowd. Overall, it was amazing to be racing again. I love competition. For over a year, I ran only on the treadmill. There was part of me that wondered if my ability have disappeared during the quarantine. I came in 4th place in my division and am beyond excited with that placement. I also was relieved knowing I was done with the crowds for the day. I spent two weeks secretly nervous I contracted COVID and am happy to report that the vaccine seems to have worked for me. I have another race scheduled for October and am already feeling nervous. Our hospitalization rate has shot to nearly 500 and the ICU is two away from 100. Will my next race being outdoors be enough to protect my family, especially my two unvaccinated kids at home? Will my vaccine even still be effective by October? My second shot will have been administered seven months prior at that point. -
2021-08-06
New Normal
We didn’t leave the house for a year. Not exaggerating. Search my name in this archive, you will see we didn’t leave the house, nor was anyone allowed inside. However, when cases dropped this spring, we began to venture outside, albeit with masks. Now with cases on the rise, it becomes such a difficult choice. The adults are vaccinated, so we should (hopefully) be semi protected. But the kids aren’t. But do we want to lock them inside for another 18 months? Obviously not. So we’re trying to embrace a new normal. We still haven’t gone to any home get togethers - too dangerous with Delta, but we are carefully enjoying the outdoors. The zoo is all outdoors and spread out, so that has been feasible. Disneyland has been replaced by the beach, which we’re very lucky to live so close to. The beach isn’t scary - there’s plenty of room to spread out. But what do you do when your former teacher and current co worker who adores your kids invites you to school to share in a tennis picnic? My kids LOVE “gung gung” (Chinese for grandpa), and he loves teaching them tennis (he’s been the tennis coach for almost 30 years). There is no one size fits all answer. I decided because he was vaccinated, the event was completely outdoors, most of the tennis players are vaxxed and my kids could wear their masks that the risk was worth it. And it was, they had a great afternoon. So this is the new normal. Weighing the risks and making decisions that 18 months ago never would have been given a second thought. -
2021-06-29
Oops, You Were Blind?
Before he started kindergarten in 2019, I took my son to the ophthalmologist - I knew he didn’t see correctly. My mom is legally blind without lenses, I am -8, so genetics are not in his favor. They honestly thought I was crazy at first because he was barely 5, but they confirmed he was seeing 125 out of his left eye. His eyes were balancing so the plan was to check the next summer. Then COVID hit. There was no way I was taking my kid to Los Angeles in the height of a pandemic. Throughout the year of virtual learning that followed, my son covered one eye, complained his eyes were tired and watched tv from one inch away. Even his piano teacher through his FaceTime lessons saw how close he had to get to his sheet music and politely asked “does he need glasses?” When numbers finally dropped in June, I took him in, knowing he’d need glasses. What I didn’t know is how bad it was. My sweet little guy couldn’t even read the giant E on the eye chart! I guess it’s good none of us realized how bad his vision was or else I might have broke quarantine to help him. As his eye doctor said “-4. That’s quite a prescription for a first pair of glasses.” I’ll always wonder if the year of online learning expedited his decline to seeing 475, but I’m relieved we had a brief break in the high case count to allow us to secure him glasses before the new school year. It makes me wonder what other conditions have gone unchecked for people as they’ve avoided routine appointments due to fears of infection. It’s really a lose lose situation. You avoid the doctor to protect against Covid or you risk Covid to get a check up. -
2021-06-10
School’s Out, I Finally Met My Teacher
The day after school ended, we returned all the materials to my kid’s elementary school. While there, we were able to thank my son’s first grade teacher for all her work throughout the year in person. I will be forever in awe of this woman, keeping six year olds engaged over Zoom for a year. She is a testament to teaching and you could feel her genuine love for her students through the screen. There was something so bittersweet about my son’s first face to face meeting with her being after school ended. Such a bizarre way to begin an academic career. -
2021-08-11
Sorry, Not Sorry. Vaccines Are Necessary.
In two years of everything under the sun becoming political, it’s not a shock that vaccines are yet another unnecessarily politicized topic. Of course, unlike masks, which were not a part of our daily routine prior to 2020, vaccinations and anti-vaxxers are not new. And honestly, if my two elementary aged kids could be vaccinated I would care a lot less about anti-vaxxers. I think they’re selfish, but for the most part, they’d be hurting themselves (and the immuno compromised that cannot be vaccinated.) But my kids can’t be vaccinated and I have been trying to stay positive knowing next week they’re walking into a classroom with only a mask for protection. I asked my mom “what is their teachers are unvaccinated?” I mean, every unvaccinated person poses a risk - what is the adult in charge is an anti-vaxxer and anti-masker? So it was with complete and utter shock and total relief to get the official word that teachers in the state of CA must be vaccinated. It’s a shame that this seals the fate on governor Newsom’s recall. I don’t love the guy, but I sure as heck want him more than a DeSantis and considering the last time CA recalled a governor, we ended up with the Terminator in charge…well. With Florida’s teachers being threatened with losing their pay over mandating masks, I am relieved to live in a state taking the opposite approach. Call us Commiefornia, I don’t care. Like I’ve been saying for a year and a half, this is a public health crisis. This isn’t about politics, it’s about an invisible virus that is continuing to mutate and spread. And as a teacher, I truly believe it’s my responsibility to do anything to help mitigate the spread. -
2021-08-11
There is No Good Decision
My daughter is very athletic. I don’t make that statement lightly. I do not lie and I will look you in the eye and tell you my son is not an athlete. But my daughter was born with a natural ability for sports. Anything she tries, even recreationally, she excels at. When she was 3, she began gymnastics and in first grade, she joined the competitive team. It’s not just that she’s athletic, she works extremely hard. So making her sit out an entire season due to COVID was not an easy decision. I do not regret it, but it doesn’t mean it wasn’t hard. When this season began in May, we cautiously allowed her to return, fully masked. The cases were down and the coaches wore masks. We decided the risk was worth it for her mental health. Then the COVID restrictions were lifted June 15. My daughter became the only one in the full gym with a mask. We hoped for the best and have been lucky so far. But the cases are exploding. They are higher now than this time last year. What do we do? All her friends are from the gym. Truly. She doesn’t have any close friends at school because most of her time is spent at the gym. Can we take that away from her again? She worked out every single day of quarantine to stay in shape and she did. Can we look at her and basically say her work was for nothing? There is no good choice. What is more important? Protecting her physically or giving her the part of her life that secures her mental health? At the end of last week, I was seriously considering pulling her as the daily cases rose to 1,000+. However, in a move that shocked me knowing the clientele and position of the gym on this entire pandemic, even her gym has reinstated masks for all coaches. This made me feel maybe 5% better. Her one on one session is also from 8 - 9pm, which I was bummed at at first - so late for a kid! But I quickly realized we’re the only ones in the gym that late, which lowers my anxiety a bit. So we’re going to take the risk for now and allow her to continue going. I just hope it’s not a decision we regret. -
2021-07-10
Manzanar
As a historian, US History teacher, and mother of two Asian-American children, I make a point to expose my children to all aspects of America’s history: good, bad, and ugly. Thanks to COVID, we had the opportunity to show the kids one of the country’s ugliest moments - Japanese internment. The desolate desert in the middle of our home state is an area I had never driven through before COVID, despite having lived in CA my entire life and being (supposedly) 8th or 9th generation Californian on my dad’s side. However, there is no way I’m putting my family on an airplane during a pandemic, which limits vacation options. So into the car for an eight hour drive to Tahoe. A drive that goes right past Manzanar, the Japanese American World War II concentration camp. Unlike last year, when we made the same drive for the first time in my life, the exhibits, buildings, and visitor center were open with masks and social distancing. As we stood in the barrack in the 106 degree temperature, I told my kids to never forget how uncomfortable they felt and to consider the fact that they were feeling awful from the heat as tourists. I told them to imagine living in this heat as a prisoner though you committed no crime except having ancestors from Japan. They may be young, but they are old enough to understand human rights. Visiting Manzanar was overwhelming. I am not a very emotional person, but I was taken aback by the fact that this history is so recent. My best friend’s dad was born in Tule Lake, where Japanese-Americans who refused to take the forced loyalty oath were sent. That is only one generation before mine. Seeing and experiencing second hand through family and friends the hatred directed toward Asian-Americans during this pandemic made the experience in Manzanar extra raw. Though I refuse to thank COVID for anything because I think that’s a bit tone deaf for all who have lost and suffered during this pandemic, I am grateful that the circumstances that led us to drive to Tahoe instead of fly led us also to a place of reflection on prejudice and race, especially in the climate of today. -
2021-05-27
Slower Pace of Life
It’s probably a bit tiresome for my best friend when I say “oh man, we haven’t been there in over a year” because for our family, that is everything. Every week, we open up a little more, cautiously, as our case rates continue to decline (under 50 new cases in our county today!) Disneyland, our go to hangout is still out of the question, so we returned to the beach. It’s crazy to think for over a year, it sat 20 minutes away, so close but so far. I feel like COVID not only has made us more appreciative but has also helped us embrace a slower pace of life. Two years ago, a weekday would have seen me at school AP reviews or department meetings, my mom and I coordinating pick up and drop offs for Kumon, gymnastics, piano lessons. I would have squeezed in a Pilates class before picking up my daughter from the gym. My husband wouldn’t be in the equation at all, April and May are full travel months - we barely see him. But here we are. Our pace of life is much slower. My husband is still working remotely, and will probably continue to for at least half the week for the rest of the foreseeable future. Kumon and piano seem simpler to do now that we’re all home. Even gymnastics seems less stressful. If everyone is home on a weekday at 3, why not hit the beach? I know our lives will inevitably speed up. That’s the rat race that is Orange County and I do love our lives. We like being busy, why else would someone live here? Yet, I hope the togetherness we’ve had in the past year and the realization that maybe we should just take more time to run around the beach, get excited at finding a Sea Hare, and just watch the waves without an agenda or a clock will last beyond this pandemic. -
2021-05-06
APUSH - Online Learning Edition
The first time I saw over 75% of my 171 APUSH students in person was the morning of the test. One girl brought me a bouquet and said “I wanted to give you this today because it will probably be the only time I see you.” What a strange, strange year. The kids I teach are my life, I usually can tell you at least 10 specific weird things about each of them. I’m embarrassed to say I can’t this year - how do you REALLY get to know a kid over Zoom? Still, I am touched by the level of connection we were able to make. And I was amazed that out of 171 kids, 170 came before the test to say hi and pick up their goodie bag. After the test, they rushed back to see me and tell me how they felt. For that moment, it was like any other year. I truly feel I gave them the very best of me, I never “phoned it in” and even this week, in our last five days of school, we’re doing modern topics until the end. But I will always feel guilty. Because despite giving my best, I know it doesn’t live up to a normal in person year. Still, their happy faces and kind words show that despite my own internal disappointment, the kids are alright and it wasn’t a total loss for them. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to the fall, having my tables back and full classes five days a week. Yet, these kids who I shared a Zoom screen with for 180 days will always hold a special place in my heart. I may not know them at the level I usually do, but their perseverance and diligence in ever changing circumstances will also motivate me to continue to give the best of me. -
2021-05-22
The Surprise Degree
When I first began my MA program in Fall 2019, I thought it would be really, really funny to not tell anyone I was pursuing a second Master’s. I figured at some point, I would slip and end up mentioning it. But instead, all our lives changed with the pandemic, and since I didn’t see a person besides the four people I live with for almost 13 months, anyone discovering my graduate program was no longer even a consideration. The MA program actually helped me keep my sanity. In those first couple of months, when everything was up in the air, my courses were a constant. And then in the mundane of quarantine, they challenged my mind, distracted me, giving me something to do. Who knew the random genealogy class I took last summer would lead me to discover 1. that my biological great great grandfather died when my great grampa was only 9 2. that no one in our family knew this and assumed his step dad was his dad 3. that this mysterious biological great great grandfather was not a poor wheel maker from Germany, but was a salesman involved in some suspicious activities that involved a sister being sold (national news! In all the papers of the 1890s), a robbery and attack on him (with the ominous newspaper title “will it be murder” because he was presumed to not survive... he did), and ended with his dramatic suicide when the police were attempting to arrest him for embezzlement ... in front of my nine year old great grampa?!? How strange to think that without quarantine I would never have taken the time to research this (this investigation took over three months!) and my family would still think our ancestry on that side were German wheel makers who fled the Kaiser! When I finished my MA last month, we thought it would be funny to do a photo shoot (never did that for my other degrees) and post it on Instagram. I cannot believe the amount of comments. People were over the moon excited. I think seeing any positive surprise coming out the pandemic gives people hope. And my weird idea that it would be really funny to not tell anyone? Yeah, it was. No regrets. -
2021-04-22
Bye Quarantine Hair!
In December 2010, my husband and I made a pact with our friends, all of us either brand new parents or weeks away from becoming parents, that we’d go on a Disney Cruise together in summer of 2020. Well by planning time 2019, our friends bailed, but we were still committed. For Christmas 2019, we gifted our two kids and my mom a 7 day Disney cruise to the Caribbean. The first week of March of 2020, I went to get my hair done. I considered chopping it to my shoulders, but I told my hair dresser that I wanted to wait until July and chop it right before the cruise. I’m sure you know where this is going. Clearly, the cruise was one of earliest events to be cancelled due to the pandemic and I never went back to my hair dresser in 2020. Throughout the school year, I lamented over my waist length quarantine hair, in desperate need of a cut. Over and over I told my students “when I get vaxxed, I’m getting this chopped off since you know, no cruise.” By the end of March both my mom and I were vaccinated, but were unsure about our hairdresser. She had lost her shop during Covid - had she retired? With case counts declining significantly, we reached out to her and not only was she still doing hair inside her house, (one household at the time), but was vaccinated as well. So farewell to my quarantine hair, cut away all the fear and panic and sleepless nights of the past year and let’s start fresh. (No cruise though, my short hair and I will just hit the beach). -
2021-05-30
After 419 Days, I Took Holy Communion
I have a very deep faith. As someone extremely liberal and inclusive, I certainly do not fit the stereotype of an American Christian, and honestly, thank goodness, because I do NOT want to be associated with that. But my faith is a very large part of my identity. Though I may not vocalize it, it grounds my decisions and my approach to life. Going to church is never a chore for me, I love it. So when we had to abruptly stop attending in person in March of 2020 it was a radical change in our lives. We still logged into the streaming of the service and have hosted a mid week Bible study over Zoom every single week since the initial shutdown. But there is something about being together to hear the message, to sing, to pray. Being able to return to church in person safely has been something I’ve been praying for. It’s been a month now, we’re opting to sit outside - the inside is open, but we’re not quite ready to be indoors until more people are vaccinated or at least until our kids can be. Seeing people we haven’t seen in person for over a year almost brought me to tears our first week back and I am not a person who cries. It just felt like a relief to be home, so to speak. There are some interesting changes. No hugs or kisses at greeting, everyone stands and waves to each other. Everyone sits by household, spaced apart. And everyone wears masks. Instead of coffee and donuts there is a table with pre packaged snacks. Everyone has to sanitize their hands and have their temperature taken. There were also far fewer people than before COVID. The best part of service for me though is taking holy communion. On our first Sunday back, it had been 419 days since my last communion. Communion is such a personal part of my faith, and a time of deep reflection and thankfulness. And I am so very thankful to be back and pray that things remain safe so we can continue to meet together. -
2021-04-22
Kathryn Jue JOTPY Portfolio
In March 2020, I learned about a graduate fellowship for a project called The Journal of the Plague Year. I was intrigued because of my undergraduate work with collecting oral histories of Vietnamese refugees. I really missed doing research in my life as a classroom teacher. This Fellowship seemed to be a way of fulfilling that undefinable project I’d been looking for. When I received an invitation after applying to join the project, it was like a public history baptism by fire. I knew nothing about public history, and I learned a great deal during those five months. However, with so much uncertainty with how my school district was going to respond to COVID, and the eleventh hour decision that we would not be starting the school year in person and all the changes that went along with that, I made the difficult decision to step away from JOTPY when the summer ended. During the fall, I greatly missed the collaborative community, the curating, the debates about metadata, and the entire building of this rapid response, digital archive. This led me to join the Spring 2021 internship. I am so incredibly thankful to have been part of this internship because I learned so much additional information about public history. One of the aspects that I didn’t learn over the summer was the humanities portion of public history. The archive was so new that we really specialized in different areas, mine was building the teaching site. We did have weekly meetings that I greatly enjoyed, but they were more logistical as we tried to figure out how to best build the archive. Many of our meetings dealt with curation and the best process for that. I absolutely loved my summer team, but it was difficult for me to articulate exactly what I did when the summer was over. Going through the internship step by step, I feel far more equipped now to explain exactly what JOTPY is and the process behind it. I also was able to experience many different aspects of the archive, including curating and collecting oral histories, building a collection, writing a call for submissions, and writing public history. The two parts of this internship, aside from curation which I genuinely love doing, that I feel were most beneficial were oral histories and writing the blog post. These are both areas I would like to continue to pursue in some way, even if it not related to this particular project. I did not begin the MA program with any inkling of being part of an internship team or being part of any sort of public history project. However, JOTPY has been the single best part of my graduate program. My work with JOTPY has been a perfect marriage of my two passions, teaching and history. I love being part of a project that is accessible to the students I teach. Not only does it demonstrate to them that history transcends the walls of the classroom, it was a space they were able to be part of by sharing their own stories. I also was able to fulfill a personal desire to be part of project outside my teaching world. I love history. I am incredibly passionate about it, and I am grateful every day of my life that I get to spend my days sharing that passion with teenagers. Yet, I have been wistful for some sort of research to be part of. I love writing, and as a teacher, my writing isn’t really seen beyond the realm of the classroom. I didn’t know public history is where I could fulfill this sort of void. Overall, I am incredibly grateful to have had this experience. -
2021-03-27
Stop Asian Hate!
The rise in Asian hate crimes has gone hand in hand with COVID. This certainly was not helped by the previous administration continually referring to COVID as “China Flu” or “Kung Flu.” One of the more horrifying things is how close to home these incidents are happening. Just this month, there were two attacks at a local park on Asian Americans. One was on a Japanese-American Olympian, who was in training. The other was on an elderly Korean-American couple. I live in Southern CA, which has the third highest proportion of the population identifying as Asian, yet even here, racism and racially motivated violent crimes are happening. If there is any positive that is coming out of this, it is the honest conversations we’re having with our children about race. In light of George Floyd and similar situations, the immigrant population at the border, and anti-Asian crimes, our kids are engaged in an active dialogue about equity, prejudice, racism and our response to it. My children are proud to be Asian-American and seeing that pride and them use their voices, even in a small way, makes me hopeful for positive change. Like their signs say, they are proud to be Asian AND American, and to love them like people love Asian food! Oh yeah, and in this pandemic year, a reminder that they are not a virus. -
2021-04-19
She’s Back and I’m Terrified
After 400 days to the day, my daughter walked back into her gym. A competitive gymnast who has been training with the same gym since the week before she turned 3, this has been a long year. We are privileged in the sense that the hardest decision we had to make during the pandemic was not related to jobs security, hunger, or even health (beyond keeping ourselves from COVID). Our hardest choice was not allowing our daughter to return to her gym to train when they reopened in June. My husband and I knew COVID was just beginning. We knew the spike would come and the health of our family wasn’t something we were willing to risk, especially because our jobs allowed us the luxury to work from home and distance. At first, we made case rates dropping our marker of when she’d go back. Then, with the announcement of the vaccine, we decided to wait until our household was vaccinated. By the end of March, the adults of our household were vaccinated and our local case count had dropped considerably, to an infection rate percentage of 1.4%. Still, we wondered “should we just wait until she’s vaccinated?” But she’s 10, there is no vaccine being publicized for her age. How long can we keep her from her life? It’s not just the training. It’s about mental health. We’ve kept her physically safe, but she’s 10 years old and hasn’t seen a single friend in person for almost 14 months. She hasn’t shown any signs of a mental health crisis, but even if she isn’t showing anything, this has to have taken a toll on her. It was a difficult and scary choice, but my husband and I decided her mental health and emotional health are worth the risk. She is so happy. She’s had two one on one sessions with her coach and we are all shocked (and relieved) that her daily solo workouts EVERY SINGLE DAY for 400+ days now paid off. She not only kept all her skills but learned enough her skills to advance to the next level. I know her coach is shocked. I don’t think she really believed that a kid would work hard enough on her own to keep in shape. I know my daughter is very proud and very relieved to know she can compete again. And the timing is perfect - the new season starts in May, so she’ll begin in a new level with other girls she knows who also leveled up. She never acted unhappy during quarantine, but since going back, she’s seemed lighter and happier. Still, the two times she went were one on one. The beginning of May will see her going back full time, three practices a week for ten hours a week of practice. I’m happy they’re letting her keep her mask on and that the coaches are wearing masks but I’m still nervous. It’s so hard to send your kid into a situation that may lead them to contract a deadly illness. But it’s also so hard to keep your kid in a bubble. I never in a million years imagined I’d have kept my child home for 400 days. I’m a public school teacher, I’m the first person to tell you the importance of socialization. But in a pandemic, I guess my mothering deep instinct to my child overpowered anything else. I hope and pray with everything in me that we don’t regret allowing her to go back. I hope we are turning a corner in CA and that a vaccine for kids arrives soon so I can feel slightly more relaxed. -
2021-04-21
COVID Safety Squirrels
I have an incredibly imaginative six year old son. Since he was three, he has told us each day which identity he is choosing for the day: duck, bird, duckbird, squirrel, bunny, or chipmunk. (This list has grown over time). He doesn’t actually act like that type of animal, or really alter his behavior or personality at all, but will refer to himself as “Duckbird” or “Baby Bird” and expects you to refer to him as such. And every once in a while will respond with a “quack,” or whatever noise is appropriate for that animal identity. For Squirrel (who is now our “house president” - apparently he won an election none of us were privy to), there is an ongoing theme of a Squirrel Parade that shows up and disrupts everything going on. This is not something that came out of COVID, the Squirrel Parade predates it (we live next to Disneyland and in a pre-COVID life went to the park at least once a week - the kid has seen a lot of parades). However, the Squirrel Parade has definitely evolved with the pandemic. It is remarkable how COVID has seamlessly become part of a kid’s imagination. The Squirrel Parade, which always included King Squirrel, the Throwing Nuts Squirrels, and the Trumpet Squirrels among others now includes the “COVID Safety Squirrels.” When we asked my son who they are, he said they’re the squirrels that hand out masks and hand sanitizer and make sure everyone social distances. It wasn’t strange to him, just another part of the parade. I guess for little kids this isn’t strange to them. I mean, it is. But it’s also not. Just another thing to learn along with multiplication tables. Put on a mask and keep your distance, and the parade marches on. -
2021-04-15
Going Wild
I know the vaccine isn’t a golden ticket. I know you can still contract COVID. I know we don’t really know yet if a vaccinated person can spread it (which is why my kids are still on Distance Learning). And I know there are at least 30 countries where not one person has been vaccinated. I do know all of this. However, somewhere in my subconscious I am relaxing. I have not had a boba from 85 Degrees in 13 months and though my husband did bring home a Starbucks for me recently, that was pretty much it for the past year. Today, I somehow ended up with both. During our lunch walk, my bestie asked if I wanted to walk to Starbucks. We haven’t done that in over a year and I have to be honest, it felt amazing. Even though while we walked there, we said snarky stuff like “remember how we’re in a worldwide pandemic?” it still felt sort of normal. Then, my husband decided to pick up bread on the way home from 85 Degree and brought me a grapefruit tea with lychee jelly. My tastebuds are so happy and I’m barely asking myself if the person who made the drink has COVID. So I must be relaxing. Then again, I sprayed my boba cup with Lysol before touching it and dumped my Starbucks into a mug and reheated it before I drank it, soooo maybe not. -
2021-04-14
Can You Ever Tell If A Decision Is Right?
My daughter has left our neighborhood less than five times in the past 13 months. I am not exaggerating. Now that the positivity rate in our area is 1.5%, we cautiously allowed my daughter to accompany me on a one mile run. You would have thought I’d taken her to Disney World. She was happier and more relaxed than she’s been in months. But she’s not a runner. She’s a competitive gymnast who hasn’t set foot in a gym in 13 months. She’s trained virtually with a gym in Northern CA and has worked out every single day. But we know it’s not the same. We also know that it’s time to create the team for the next season. It was time to contact her gym. We can keep promising she’s coming back but at what point is it just empty words? After a lot of prayer and internal debate, we texted her coach and said it’s time for her to come back. As you can see, she was initially scared at the idea, but that was quickly replaced by excitement when she found out she is really going back. But I have a pit in my stomach. Is it safe? Her coach isn’t vaccinated. Will my daughter be one of the children who contract it and have dire consequences? Or will her brother if she brings it home? How long can you keep a kid in a bubble? She already missed an entire season. Her mental health is so important, we know going back is going to be so amazing for that. But I am still so worried about the physical. One thing that this year has shown me is that I am an adult. I mean, obviously, I’ve been an adult for 22 years. But this year - protecting not only the safety of my children but my over 65 mom and in-laws. Advocating for the health of my students over politics. It’s like the pandemic has forced me to see that I can’t look to anyone to make adult decisions, it’s me. I’m the decision maker and these decisions can be life and death. I’m the adult. COVID has stripped that security we all had (probably foolishly). I don’t think I’ll ever feel safe again the way I did before this all began. So fingers crossed that my daughter’s journey back into competitive gymnastics is one that we can make safely. -
2021-04-15
Another Victim of a COVID Economy
I have anxiety. It’s not uncommon, and I have coping mechanisms. One of the things that helps me not fixate on things out of my control is being active. So I run. And for the past six years, I have been very committed to “barre,” which is similar to Pilates. My barre studio is my respite from the world, one hour to focus just on myself and my muscles. And the supportive community is unlike any other I have been a part of (I’ve done boot camps, kickboxing, etc. and have never found anything like this.) Since exercise is crucial to my mental health, when the pandemic began, I knew I could not stop working out. Especially with a household of five suddenly being at home together 24 hours a day! I was extremely fortunate that my barre studio immediately transitioned online. In fact, all throughout this pandemic, I have held them up as my example of the exact right way to deal with this situation. They made a digital library, offered multiple daily live classes over Zoom, reopened as a hybrid. My barre classes have been the constant throughout this pandemic, especially before I returned to work in person. Up until a few weeks ago, my most consistent live interaction with adult humans not living in this house were my barre instructors and the other women in the classes. So when I opened my email and saw this message, it hit me like a ton of bricks. They couldn’t survive COVID-19. It makes sense - they had two studios before COVID and rent is not cheap in Orange County. I am, of course selfishly sad - where will I find a reasonably priced, low impact but high intensity exercise studio that is five minutes from both my daughter’s gym and our church? But my real sadness is for the small business owner who opened this studio eight years ago. She is truly passionate about physical and mental health and is probably one of the most positive people I have ever met. And in a way that doesn’t annoy you, which honestly is a gift. As people get excited about businesses reopening, it makes me reflect on how many more have had to close their doors permanently. -
2021-04-10
An Ode to my Treadmill
Today was momentous. After 13 months, I ran a tentative (but amazing) five miles outside, in my neighborhood. I’d like to say it’s because now that I’m two weeks past my second dose of vaccine and back to teaching in person full time, I feel safe. Nope. It’s actually just that my best and most reliable quarantine companion, my treadmill, died. The poor motor is toast and even after taking it apart and trying to fix it, it is beyond repair. As a competitive trail runner, my treadmill was supposed to be a backup. It was never intended for daily use. I live in Southern CA, it’s a very rare day the weather isn’t great for running. However, quarantine turned my occasional treadmill run into a daily experience, but after a year, my low end, but loyal treadmill couldn’t take any more runs. I mean, I did run a marathon on the poor thing in December (and a variety of other virtual races throughout the year). So thank you trusty treadmill for getting me through this pandemic year. Thanks for not only supporting my daily runs, but also the 9 - 15 miles walks I would take on you while grading. Thanks for letting my daughter run on you three times a week to stay in shape for competitive gymnastics. And thanks for waiting to die until two weeks after my second vaccination. And most of all, thanks for dying and forcing me back out (fully masked) into the world I love running in so much. -
03/31/2021
George Martinez Oral History, 2021/03/31
This oral history is with 36 year old George Martinez, who identifies as male and American Mexican. He tested positive for COVID-19 in January 2021 and shared the physical and emotional impact of having COVID-19. -
2021-03-29
Nancy Martinez Oral History, 2021/03/29
This oral history is with 35 year old Nancy Martinez, who identifies as female and Mexican. She tested positive for COVID-19 in January 2021 and shared the physical and emotional impact of having COVID-19. -
2020-06-01
High School Students Reflect on JOTPY Archive
In May 2020, my high school students reflected on the JOTPY archive, noting the submissions that most resonated with them and the least. Some also addressed what they saw as silences in the archive. I put their responses in a document for myself to help guide me as I helped build the JOTPY teaching site. However, a year after beginning to work on the project, I find their responses very insightful, particularly their recognition that the racial prejudice facing the Black and AAPI communities needs to be better highlighted. -
2021-03-23
Where Are All the Kids?
Our school has never looked better - festive flags waving, campus clean and painted, welcoming balloon arches. We were ready to re-open. But then, no one came. The message we teachers had been whispering amongst ourselves for weeks, that kids and their families do not want to come back yet, had come to fruition. Out of my 172 students, only 31 will step foot on campus, the rest will continue to logon from home. That number, 31, is expected to continue to drop as more students revert to only Distance Learning. Knowing how few students were on campus, I was surprised to see our school social media posted first day pictures. I know it was supposed to be celebratory, but I couldn’t stop laughing at the insanity of a balloon arch welcoming no one. How could our social media exclaim that we were “so happy to see students roam the halls again” and then post pictures of a completely empty school? It looks like Chernobyl. At some point, I decided to take the images, a video of an empty classroom my friend took, and my attendance roster with almost all kids marked as “Distance Learning” and put them together in a video to try and capture the mixed emotions. I alternatively feel like crying and laughing when I watch it. I really think it captures the reopening, albeit in a slightly subversive way. Of course, I really hope my admin never sees it, because I’m guessing they will not see the tongue and cheek, ironic humor in this. -
2021-03-24
Dreaming About This Day... But Now What?
Shot 2! After so many sleepless nights and moments of paralyzing fear, my husband, my 65 year old mom, and I are all officially double dosed! The day I have been praying for for months is here and I am in disbelief. But I’m also sitting here like “now what?” Are we really safe? Can I REALLY go safely and run in my canyon aside the maskless? I do trust the vaccine, but it is a huge psychological jump to suddenly trust. There’s also the issue of the two things I love most in this world - my kids. They’re not eligible for vaccines yet and I fear for them. I know, the likelihood of them having a serious complication is low, but as a person who had both the measles and scarlet fever as a kid (no, I’m not kidding), I am a walking example of the “one in a million” chance. What if they’re like me instead of their dad? I feel like I’m in a strange limbo. Definitely more hopeful than I was even a couple of months ago, but also sort of paralyzed in a sense of “what do we do now?” -
2021-03-02
The 128th Day, aka Day One
For the first time in 374 days, I taught from my classroom today. It is the 128th day of school, we have only one quarter left. As nervous as we are about our community and the COVID risk level, I feel very positive and relieved to be back. COVID numbers have dropped considerably, and though I haven’t always seen eye to eye with my district in the way this entire pandemic has been handled, at the end of the day, I really feel like the right decisions were made Compared to neighboring districts, I feel our safety standards exceed the norm. It is strange still - the largest in person class I will have is seven students and the smallest is zero! Many families in our community have opted to continue distance learning through the rest of the school year, which I understand. We made the same choice for our two kids! Still, it was nice for the first time in over a year to wake up and have somewhere to go. Even though on one hand it seems ridiculous to Zoom an entire class of kids with two kids in the classroom who are sitting far away from me with headphones on and are logged into also the same Zoom meeting, I did feel re-energized to just be back in my classroom. I don’t think I have a greater prayer right now than for the vaccines to continue to work and for the adolescent and pediatric trials to successfully run their course. Wouldn’t it be incredible to have the kids vaccinated by fall? I know it will not be a reality for all students, but I think that piece of the puzzle will be a big part in mitigating the spread. In the meantime, I’ll continue to follow the pleas of the SOS sign that is taped all over the school. Indeed, let’s save our school year and the next one, too! -
2021-03-21
Don’t Give Me COVID
For the past year, my husband has been the only one to do errands to keep the risk low. Anytime he went out, he showered and put his clothes in the laundry. No one has stepped foot inside our house in over a year. It may see extreme, but more than once during COVID, Southern CA was the country’s hotspot. We have been extremely cautious, and with both the death rates and people within our own circle who weren’t cautious getting infected during the winter spike, I do not regret our decision. Now numbers are thankfully declining and, even more significant, my mom (who lives with us) has received both doses of the vaccine and my husband and I should receive our second doses next week. Slowly, our lives will hopefully be able to open up a bit. But the moment captured here reminds me that the shift may not be as easy for our kids. My son, who hasn’t had a play date or left this street in months, flattened himself against the wall and refused to move when my mom came back from a Target curbside pick up. She didn’t even get out of the car but my son was terrified that she’d give him COVID. It’s going to be a long process to make them feel safe again. -
2021-03-19
Wait, Do I Remember How to Drive?
As I was making my list of things to have for going back to work in person for the first time in over a year, I asked myself “wait, do I remember how to drive?” On March 16, 2020, I drove to my classroom under the impression we would be working from school without our students until school reopened for the kids after spring break. By the time I got there, everything had changed. We had a quick full staff meeting telling us to take everything we need home, check our email later, and that everyone was to stay home indefinitely. I have not worked from my school site since. So, I drove home, showered, and put my keys where I always do. They remained there for 368 days. Tonight at dusk, realizing that my commute is coming back in two days, I grabbed my keys and made my husband ride shotgun. I was actually really nervous, because what if you can forget to drive at age 40? I also realized I did not drive a single day of my 39th year, which is sort of a cool statistic. I timed my drive for dusk because I teach zero period, and due to daylight savings it will still be dark when I begin my commute Monday morning. I am extremely happy to report that driving is a skill that sticks with you - especially important in Southern CA, where we drive EVERYWHERE. I’m still a little anxious for Monday morning. Not only will I be back to work in person for the first time, but my commute will be the first time I have been completely alone in over a year. Sure, when I teach remotely, I am upstairs alone in the room, but everyone else is home doing similar things in other rooms. When I run on the treadmill, though I have my headphones in, people mill in and out. I have not been totally alone this entire quarantine. I imagine my 30 minute commute will be either completely anxiety inducing or end up being the most relaxing and best part of my day! *Disclaimer: I am NOT flipping off the camera, that’s my pinky, I’m throwing a Shaka. -
03/10/2021
Ellen Galindo Oral History, 2021/03/10
This is an oral history of Ellen Galindo, a teacher in Orange County, California. The date of this interview was three days shy of the one year anniversary of when her school shut down. She has been teaching online for a year now. She is also expecting her first child. Her oral history is focused on her experience teaching through Distance Learning and her feelings on being pregnant during the pandemic. -
2021-03-12
Remembering Our Last Lunch
On Friday, March 13, 2020 it was pouring rain. My co-worker/work wife/love of my life/bestest friend - the Ann Perkins to my Leslie Knope (very accurate if you know us) bought us McDonald’s for lunch. We jokingly called it “the end of the world as we know it lunch” and played REM while drinking Shamrock Shakes. We were in denial about what was happening around us. Two hours later, it was the end. We have not had lunch together, or been physically together, since then. (However, we probably outdo any teenagers in the amount we text each other. We’ve pretty much live tweeted ever minute of our incredibly mundane days to each other throughout all of quarantine.) Today, we both bought McDonald’s separately (for me, only the fifth time having fast food since shut down last March) to celebrate our year-versary of the “end of the world” lunch. One year later, it’s raining again, but it feels so different. A year ago, everything was closing down. Today, everything is opening up. I am thankful we’ve both received vaccination one, and although we are both apprehensive about school reopening in a week, the thought of seeing her face to face (six feet away and in a mask) makes me happy enough to cry. There is nothing I hope more for than for the efficacy of the vaccinations. I can only hope that the second Friday of March 2022 will see us together in my classroom, eating McDonald’s for lunch, talking about how we can’t believe we lived through a pandemic. A rainbow instead of rain would be a nice touch, too. -
2021-03-12
Reflections on a Year and New Beginnings
One year ago today, Thursday, March 12, 2020, I told my students in my usual snarky tone that they should all come to test corrections after school because they had nothing better to do - all their activities were cancelled. It had been a wild 48 hours - not only had all school activities, sports, and extra curricular been cancelled, the NBA shut down, March Madness was cancelled, and the UC campuses has announced online classes through the rest of the year, which we found like a shocking overreaction - the rest of the school year?! During after school test corrections, Disneyland, within walking distance of our high school, announced they were closing the next day. One of my students yelled out “Mrs. Jue, your birthday!!!!” because my birthday was the next week, and everyone knows I go to Disneyland every year on my birthday. (And once a week, again the park is within walking distance). I replied with “guess you know what my family is doing tonight!” And we did go, for what was the last time. It still wasn’t serious to us, although it should have been. I think we were all in denial. One of my students jokingly said “hey, if we can’t be in groups larger than 30, what about now?” There were 50 kids in the room. Remember that we didn’t know it was airborne yet, so I figured if we just all washed our hands and didn’t touch our faces, it wouldn’t be an issue. I was far more concerned about door handles and papers than I was about the air circulating in the room. Even picking up my daughter from gymnastics that night a year ago, her coaches were not concerned at all that State Championships, which were supposed to happen in three weeks, would be cancelled. That was the last time I saw her coaches and the last time my daughter set foot in the gym. The next day, on March 13, the day started normally - the kids were taking a unit test on World War II. After zero period, I jokingly said “hope to see you all Monday!” By third period, it wasn’t a joke anymore - Los Angeles and San Diego school districts announced they were closing through spring break. I told my third period (not to play favorites, but I LOVED my third period), “they better not close school! Monday is the start of the Cold War!” I had been hyping up the Cold War Era and the domestic movements of the 1960s and 1970s for three months. What can I say? I love teaching that era. I wasn’t sure what would happen, but I really somehow couldn’t comprehend that we would close. Exactly three hours later, one minute after school ended, we all received an emergency text. School was closed through the end of March. Everything was a blur. I called my mom who was picking up my kids. She was already driving home and I just kept saying “they’re doing it. We’re closing. They’re closing all the schools.” Somehow we all thought we would be back in two weeks. In retrospect, that seems insane. So, on a rainy Friday March 13, 2020, I left my classroom in a bit of a panic. Not sure what to grab or do, I came home, recorded an Instagram message to reassure my kids, and started planning a virtual schedule. And the rest is history. Today, one year later, on a sunny, turned rainy, Friday, March 12, 2021, I returned to my room. This time, it was a mix of excitement and apprehension. A week from Monday we reopen. Setting up my room, there were moments I almost forgot about the pandemic, I missed being there so much. 16 years of teaching, plus four years of high school means I have literally spent half my life at that school. Then I saw the reminders all around me. No tables (I have always had round tables of four for group work - they’ve been replaced by desks). Plexiglass. Signs warning to wear masks. Hand sanitizers (okay, that one’s a nice addition!) Outside, little circles for kids to stand on to ensure 6 feet of separation. A digital thermometer. Testing my technology, because even though I have to come back in person, 75% of my students have opted to end the year via distance learning. All classes will continue on Zoom. Essentially, I am doing the same thing I have done all year, but instead of logging into Zoom at home, I’m logging in from my desk at school in a mask. There will be some periods that I have TWO kids physically in the room with me, logged into Zoom, and 32 kids logged in from their homes. It is a strange solution, motivated in large part by the governor’s announcement that school districts that don’t open for in person by March 31 lose a huge amount of funding. We’re a low income area, we need the funding, I don’t blame the district for caving. I am also glad our district allowed the community to choose the option for learning that best matched the needs of their families. Still, it is very strange to try and imagine what the last two and a half months of the school year will look like. It’s been a long year. I am hopeful that we are on the trend to having healthy communities again, but if this year has taught us anything, you never know what tomorrow is going to bring. -
2021-02-24
Pinch Me and Tell Me I’m Not Dreaming, Because Your Girl Got Shot #1!
It is, pardon the inaccurate historical depiction, like the Wild West trying to get a vaccine in Southern CA. Los Angeles has been plagued by affluent insiders getting special access codes meant for marginalized populations, keeping vulnerable groups from vaccination. This week, Orange County opened up vaccines to educators, agricultural workers, and emergency services. Before our special educator link was even emailed out to us, it was compromised by an insider sharing it and spots were taken. I obsessively checked my Othena app (Orange County’s official app) but no luck. Yesterday, my husband, also in education so eligible, woke up to a text from his boss that said “Walgreens opened for educators.” I was already teaching over Zoom, so while I continued, my husband sat on the floor two feet away and logged into Walgreens. Thankfully, I had some video clips that I was about to show after our discussion. As soon as I put the video clips on for my students, I muted myself on Zoom and told my husband to log me in on the other computer. It was like getting concert tickets. Click - “this time is no longer available.” After clicking and clicking for a minute, an appointment confirmation came through... for the NEXT DAY. I was in shock and my husband said “don’t get your hopes up” because so many appointments have been cancelled or supplies have run out. And it seemed so unbelievable. I screenshot the confirmation and hoped for the best. In the words of the musical Hamilton, I was not throwing away my shot. I didn’t actually get a confirmation email until 10:45 pm - 13 hours later, but was still skeptical. In a bit of poetic irony, the Walgreens I selected (at random) is 45 minutes away in a city called Corona. So you could say I was headed to Corona to beat Corona. The whole way there, I braced for being turned away. When I checked in, I was shocked it was actually happening. Then they took my temperature. I get cold really easily, so the whole ride to Corona we left the air off (my husband drove me in case I had after effects... and because I haven’t driven since March 16, 2020) even though it was about 80. I also have bangs on my forehead and when I’m nervous my heart races like I’m running a marathon. Bad combo. My temperature was too high for a vaccine. My heart broke inside and the lady looked at me and said “just fill this out, relax, and I’ll take it again.” She did a few minutes later and I honestly don’t know if she flubbed it for me or not, but five minutes later, I had Pfizer shot dose one. And, finding out I was a teacher, the woman administering the shot told me to get my phone out to take a picture! She said “don’t you want a picture?” She was as happy as I was. No joke, as I started getting my vaccine, the very cheesy Natasha Bedingfield song “Unwritten” played on the Walgreens speaker, and after getting my post shot instructions, I walked out of the store (to wander around for the required 15 minutes outside) with Natasha singing “Today is where your book begins The rest is still unwritten.” It was so ridiculous that I really considered maybe I’m in a Truman Show situation. I also teared up because the eleven months of not driving my car, seeing my students, seeing my friends, seeing my family sort of hit me... it’s a lot of emotion to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I did also consider the sobering reality that you have to be tipped off to be able to snag a vaccine appointment. By the time I told people that Walgreens was legitimately open for us, the appointments were booked. While I am overjoyed for myself, I can’t help but be saddened at how this whole process has unfolded. I really hope they can fix the system so unrepresented populations who might not have a boss that can text them as soon as appointments open can equitably access protection. It’s only been four hours, so no side effects yet. I do feel like my entire body has been clenched for eleven months and it has finally relaxed... I may actually get a worry free night of sleep for the first time in a long time. In short, the gratitude I have is immeasurable. -
2021-02-17
Vaccination Blues
My homeland, Orange County, has not been a place to be very proud of during COVID-19. Between anti-maskers, inept leadership, lack of transparency, and inequity in access to both COVID-19 testing and vaccines, this year has been a roller coaster in our little coastal chunk of CA. The vaccine roll out has been a massive headache. For the past month on Instagram, I see post after post of people younger than I who are getting their vaccinations because they live in another part of the state or country, while locally it's only health care workers I know that have been able to be vaccinated. Although other parts of CA (and the country) have begun to vaccinate teachers and food workers, Orange County is stubbornly (as I was told in a meeting today) waiting until 50% of the over 65 population is vaccinated before they open it up to the next tier. Though this causes me endless anxiety - will I be able to get a vaccine before my high school of 2500 opens for in person instruction - the one relief of the week was that my 65 year old mother was FINALLY able to get a vaccination appointment. The Othena system is a joke - she tried numerous times and couldn't get an appointment for the supposed super pods. Kaiser is still only vaccinating 75+! The Nextdoor app clued us in that a local hospital (where my mom has her insurance) was starting to vaccinate. Despite logging on in the very beginning of February, the earliest appointment she could get is for March 3. She took it, but I wanted to keep searching, because I worry that if the next Tier opens, she may have trouble getting a second shot if she waits until March 3. Nextdoor again clued me in to Rite-Aid, where a friend of my mom's outside OC got her vaccine. Best part - you go directly through Rite Aid, so no Othena! Success! My mom made her appointment on Saturday for tomorrow. We were jubilant! I told both my best friends about the Rite Aid trick, and within three days, they had their elderly family members signed up. Today, an hour after my best friend texted me that her dad got his Rite Aid vaccine, my mom sent me her cancellation message. Apparently the current winter storms have delayed the arrival of vaccines. My mom got lucky again, because it turns out that our school district is vaccinating employees 65+. Though retired, because she is a part time employee, my mom received an invitation today. Once she got the Rite Aid cancellation, she made her an appointment with the school district. Tomorrow is the first day the school district is vaccinating, so we have no idea what to expect, and are a little nervous because her insurance is not one of the carriers of the school district. Fingers crossed that she can still get it! Though I am genuinely happy for everyone getting vaccinated, it is frustrating that it is so much work here to try and get one. Using the Othena site hasn't worked for anyone I know - everyone I know has been vaccinated through their work or somewhere like Rite Aid. Honestly, if I see another post of someone with their vaccination card with a "do your part!" message I am going to throw my phone at the wall. I do want to do my part, if only Orange County would get their act together and manage this whole roll out better. Come on Orange County, you can do better. -
02/16/2021
Lila Jue Oral History, 2021/02/16
I recorded a mini oral history with my mother in law about silver linings during the pandemic. The photograph is a family Zoom, as this is a positive of the pandemic year to her. -
2021-02-12
New Year, New Hope
This Year of the Ox is coming in much differently than the Year of the Rat. Last year, with the smallest shadow cast over the new year with news of a SARS type virus spreading through China, we were still able to celebrate normally, and thought those who had taken to wearing masks were exaggerating the seriousness of the disease. We had new year’s dinner with family, the kids wore their traditional outfits to school and fed red envelopes to the lion dancers, the city held their annual parade, and we even celebrated at Disneyland’s California Adventure, with local community groups coming in to perform and celebrate. Whether you say “新年快乐,” “Chúc Mừng Năm Mới,” or simply “Happy New Year,” Lunar New year is a huge celebration in our community and that celebration certainly isn’t happening in the same way this year. However, even though it’s tempting to focus on the fact that we’re sequestered at home and are physically separated from family, friends, and big celebrations, there is much optimism with the hope of the vaccine. All day, my phone’s been buzzing with new year messages, most of which end with “may the new year bring better tidings” or “may this new year bring much health.” Even talking to my in-laws for the new year today had an extra sense of joy, because they shared they are getting their second dose of the vaccine on Thursday. With light at the end of the tunnel, we are able to talk for the first time about maybe being able to see each other in person by the spring. When my son played piano for them virtually, I imagined it won’t be too long until these FaceTime visits will be replaced by the real thing. So here’s to the new year - may we all see health and peace. -
2020-12-06
Thank Goodness for Artistic Friends
When my daughter's birthday arrived this past summer, we realized any in person party was out of the question. Trying to think of what we could possibly do, we reached out to our friend, a part-time artist, and asked if she would mind hosting a virtual painting party for our daughter and three of her friends to do over Zoom. Our friend was amazing, leading the girls in painting a Captain America shield. She made my daughter's birthday quarantine memorable and fun. Three months later, and desperate for ways to make our virtual Girl Scout meetings exciting, I asked if she would consider leading our girls in earning their "Drawing" badge. Not only was she excited, she went above and beyond. Her husband, who does tech work for films (including the Mandalorian) set her up with various camera angles she could toggle back and forth through. She didn't just have the girls copy a picture, she taught them about all the different tools, how to shade, different techniques. Honestly, I learned a lot myself! Though she did this out of the kindness of her heart, I seriously think she should make a career out of this! She was amazing with the girls, they LOVED the meeting and talked about not only how much they learned, but how helpful and patient our special guest teacher was. She really should start an art for kids YouTube channel. One of the greatest things that has come out of this pandemic is the willingness of people to assist and support one another, and use their talents in ways that they may not have thought of before. -
2021-01-11
Trying to Sell Girl Scout Cookies in a Pandemic
The one thing people seem to know about Girl Scouts is they sell cookies. What people don't know is that the profit from the cookie sales is how troops pay for their activities and service projects. My daughter has loved selling cookies since she started Girl Scouts in kindergarten. For the past three years, she has sold over 1,000 boxes a year, which is a crazy amount of cookies to sell! Of course, having a mom who has an entire high school student body to sell to, and a dad who has an entire college campus to sell to doesn't hurt. This year, both her parents are working virtually, which means her customer pool has shrunk considerably. The Girl Scouts, knowing how important cookie sales are to the girls, moved the sale online. To try and drum up sales, my daughter created an online sales pitch to send to friends and family, and post on our social media along with her personalized link to sell her cookies. We are all completely shocked that she has managed to sell over 500 boxes through this platform. I am so proud of her, and all our girls who have worked to achieve their two profit goals: first, to buy supplies and fund activities for another troop in our area that is run out of a local rescue mission and serves girls experiencing homelessness, and second, to go horseback riding. -
2021-01-24
Almost a Year of Virtual Girl Scout Meetings
When our Girl Scout troop transitioned online in the spring, we never foresaw the entire year being online. When my best friend/co-leader and I made the calendar in the summer, we originally made it through the end of 2020, thinking that by January we’d be back in person. I guess that shows how short sighted humans can be, a virus doesn’t run on a calendar, so it was silly to think things would be dramatically different without widespread access to a vaccine. So here we are in 2021, pushing through every other week. It has been really great to maintain the normalcy of meeting together, though. All the girls are either going to school on a hybrid (half the week in person, half at home) schedule or a full distance learning schedule, so it’s just nice to have the regular interaction with each other just like they did before quarantine. This also was a perfect opportunity to give the girls increased ownership of the troop. Now that they’re in fourth grade, we have made leadership roles, so the girls are responsible for different parts of the meeting. This takes the pressure off me for having to fill two hours on Zoom in a way that is fun and meaningful and doesn’t feel like school! I absolutely love seeing their creativity in making up games, activities, snacks, and issues/problems in our community they want to help fix. There also are some girls who used to be passive who have really loved this platform and have really stepped into being leaders. I am, however, running low on badges they want to earn that are easy to do over Zoom. The one shared here ended up pretty fun. To earn the “Simple Meals” badge, the girls worked in virtual groups to make different breakfast, lunch, and dinner meals. Then they basically did their own cooking show by walking the other girls through making whatever the dish was. Bonus - everyone was nice and full by the end! I miss my girls terribly, but we are so fortunate to be able to have the girls continue to meet, share, and support each other while we patiently wait for the cases to decrease. -
2021-01-29
Apart for Eleven Months
This year, my daughter’s Girl Scout troop, like every other troop in the country, has moved their cookie sales online. Even cookie pick up is strange this year. Instead of having families come by and pick up cookies to sell, I leave the cookies on the porch with the receipt and wave through the window. When my best friend (and co-leader) came with her daughter to pick up cookies, we chatted through the window and took a picture to save the bizarre moment. I mentioned that when another family from the troop came to get cookies, I almost didn’t recognize the girl because she had gotten so tall. My best friend then had the genius idea to take a picture of her daughter by my front door. She said I should take a picture of my daughter so we could compare their heights, as they have been the same size their entire lives. And then she said a statement that shocked me: “I mean, it’ll be a year next month since they’ve actually stood next to each other.” I guess since my best friend and I text almost every day, and have seen each other over Zoom, I hadn’t processed how truly long it has been since we’ve all been physically together. I met my best friend when I was 11, we were college roommates, married guys we were all in the same friend group with in college, had our first kids exactly six months apart from each other, our second kids two months apart from each other, and live 15 minutes away from each other. We have been lock step since we were kids, so not seeing each other for almost a year is insane. As the picture shows, our daughters are still basically the same height, so even apart, we're still lock step. Still, hoping we’ll be able to be together again before the girls grow anymore! -
2021-02-12
Mr. Carl is Always Watching
An unexpected benefit of quarantining for the past eleven months is my son has become quite the pianist. Since we’re always home, he wanders to the piano often to play his pieces - during recess, lunch, waiting for his sister to be done with whatever she is working on. Honestly, because he has endless practice time he has advanced much quicker than he would have if life were normal. His teacher and he share a dry and quirky sense of humor. My son’s favorite part of the week is when "Mr. Carl" calls for their virtual lesson. Carl noticed early into quarantine that the way the phone sits on the piano makes his picture reflect in painting on the wall. He told my son he is always watching him, and it has become their inside joke. When we put up Christmas decorations, the painting was temporarily replaced. Being a creative and funny guy, Carl photoshopped himself into the decoration and texted it to me to share with my son. Now after every single lesson, Carl texts me a picture of where he is that week. Carl’s positivity, consistency, and continued high expectations have helped my son thrive and I am so thankful for him. -
2021-02-11
Mini Oral History with Dianna Sundell, 02/11/2021
This is an oral history of my mom, Dianna Sundell, sharing that being able to spend a lot more time with her grandkids (my kids) and having time to bake and make crafts have been positives of the pandemic. The picture is of cinnamon rolls she made based off a copycat Disneyland recipe. -
2021-02-02
The Unexpected Digital Benefits of Distance Learning
When I first saw our Distance Learning schedule, I was actually relieved. When we were still thinking of re-opening back in August, the Hybrid schedule they proposed was atrocious. I would be able to synchronously (live instruction) teach a student for only 2 hours a week, the other three hours would be asynchronous. The powers that be told us “you have to just deal with the fact that you won’t be able to teach everything you usually do.” Of course, these are the same powers that be who expect the kids to pass their AP tests, and tell us that state testing (which is still happening regardless of the opening status) is “high stakes.” Contradictions, much? So, the Distance Learning schedule, which allows me to see a student three times a week, for 3 hours and 20 minutes of live instruction, was a vast improvement. Still, block scheduling? The very idea of block scheduling sent chills down my spine. Even in college, I opted for M, W, F classes because I do not sit still long enough for the 1.5-hour classes that were on T/Th. And how would I digitize an entire course? I was lucky to have already “flipped” my classroom about five years ago, when I recorded all my lectures and assigned them to watch on YouTube, freeing up class time for discussions and document analysis. But how would I do gallery walks, document analysis, Socratic Seminars, etc. digitally? Could I? Now with a semester of Distance Learning under my belt, there have been some huge advantages to being forced into this completely digitized world. First, digitized documents are amazing. So much of my course is document analysis. With digital documents, the copies aren’t blurry, the kids can zoom in if the font is small, and thanks to Google, they love to highlight and annotate the heck out of them. And Jamboards have been a godsend for collaborative analysis. I am debating whether I will ever go back to paper document analysis. Online tests have also been a game changer. I always steered away from online tests, due to fears over test security. Test days were big affairs in my class. The kids would put all their items, including phones, on the counter. I would go by each table and make them turn out their pockets to ensure no phones. I liked to joke that test days were more serious in my class than going through TSA. Because the students sat in tables of four, there were four forms of the multiple choice test and 20 versions (4 versions per period, for five periods) of the short answer portion of the test. The end of test day left me with 180 Scantrons, 180 short answer questions to grade, all with different forms, plus their notebooks, which they turned in on test day. I had to let that kind of control go this year and jump headfirst into online testing. And I am so glad this happened. It was the push I needed. The world of online testing has improved remarkably since the ten years ago that teachers at my school began to move toward it. It is SO EASY to grade and to make different forms with the click of a button. The multiple choice grades automatically and the short answer, I click the points and it pushes to the gradebook. A task that took me four hours now takes me 30 minutes. I know while the kids are at home, there is nothing to stop them from having notes on the side or on another device, but honestly, with tests that are based on historical reasoning skills, I don’t really care if they are looking up the name of an act, event, or person. I am more interested in if they can effectively use that information to support their argument. When we’re back in person, I can ensure they don’t have their phones and that Go Guardian is on to keep them from opening other windows. Without Distance Learning, I would have never made this change. Writing has also dramatically improved due to technology. I always made my students write essays by hand because the AP exam makes them write them by hand. However, with the AP exam going digital, I can now, too. It is incredible to see how the quality of writing has improved through typing. It is terrible to think that students in previous years may have been less successful on the AP exam simply because they did not formulate ideas as well with pen and pencil as they would on a computer. Block scheduling, too, has been surprisingly smooth. It is so refreshing to have time to analyze documents and follow it up with writing and peer editing - all in one period! Of course, I will be fine to return to our 55 minutes classes someday. I still don’t sit still well. Will I keep the course entirely digital when we are (hopefully) back to a normal year? Probably not everything. I miss the kids having a notebook that we build throughout the year, and will probably return to our traditional notebook for in class activities. BUT I am happy to never run a Scantron again! -
2021-02-03
They Make This All Worth It
It is weird to teach high school online. I usually get to know my kids by wandering around the room and making small talk. By inviting them to go running with me during 6th period (the athletic period). By running into them walking to Starbucks before an after-school review session. By leaving my room open at lunch as an alternative cafeteria. These things are not an option this year. When you teach, the jokes you make, are the kids laughing? The topics you’re really excited about sharing - are the kids excited? Are they REALLY listening when they nod at you, or are they texting their best friends out of the view of the camera, or playing a video game on a separate device? The silence is the weirdest part. Do the kids pick up on the little one liner remarks I drop in? Honestly, I get SO EXCITED when the Zoom chat lights up. It is truly my favorite part of any period because it’s like being back in class, having a real conversation, instead of me calling on students to answer and visiting them in break out rooms. They don’t like to unmute themselves to comment. Even in break out rooms they are still a bit anxious when I appear. They’re always willing to share when I call on them, so I know they’re learning the content. But I do sit up at night while I grade and wonder if the kids are actually enjoying class. I love teaching so much, and I love my kids so much, it hurts to think that this year’s kids just aren’t getting the same experience. And I am 100% in favor of staying on Distance Learning until our case rates decline, so I don’t have an agenda to re-open here. And this is why these letters I received in November are so meaningful to me. Our school ASB put out a “thank a teacher” post on Instagram, telling kids they should email a teacher and thank them. Honestly, our school has very little school spirit - ASB activities and assemblies are attended by very few students. Therefore, I didn’t think much of their social media challenge to “thank your teachers.” But then, I checked my inbox. And I became teary eyed. Honestly, I expected letters from the seniors. I was very, very close to last year’s kids. We had a great year before quarantine, and then when quarantine hit, it was like I had 180 best friends who would DM me at all hours because they were lonely, mad, sad, scared, and frustrated. And I didn’t mind because I love my kids. It’s not like I had anything else to do at 2 am the world had turned upside down. But this year’s kids have never met me in person. We don’t have the same relationship as I had with last year’s kids. So, I was so, so surprised by the number of current students, some of whose emails I have submitted (with all identifying information and names redacted) who wrote to thank me. I was hesitant to submit this at first, because I’ve never been one for public bragging, which is sort of what sharing thank you letters seems like to me. I know there are teachers who post every message a kid sends them, but I am not that person. A thank you from a kid is personal, and is something you keep but do not need to share. However, these emails are a really important part of my pandemic experience. They demonstrate to me that I have not totally failed this year. These kids who have never met me face to face, sharing such kind words, and excitement for learning history is probably the biggest personal win of this entire pandemic year. These kids will never know how much these words meant to me, and how much they motivate me to give 100%, even when we are all just within our tiny Zoom boxes. I hope with all that is within me that I can get vaccinated in time to be able to teach them in person before this year ends. They have shown over and over again this year how amazing they are, and I want to be able to be able to tell them that and thank them for that in person before the end of their junior year. -
2021-02-01
Decorating the “classroom”
I LOVE setting up my classroom for the new school year. I take great pride in making my classroom environment welcoming and comfortable. I’ve always felt that having an organized and decorated classroom helps the kids immediately know that you’re committed to them. However, with distance learning, my classroom is the corner of my bedroom. My husband has been working in the office next door since March. My kids have their distance learning set up downstairs, so that left our bedroom or the kids’ rooms. Though at first it seemed really, really strange to teach in the corner of my bedroom, I don’t even think about it anymore. The blank wall behind me though, it was really going to be a problem. I know most people have great success with Zoom backgrounds, but I have a really hard time sitting still, and I learned over the spring that I end up making my arms and head disappear because I fidget and get up and move around too much, so the virtual background just doesn’t work for me. At the very end of July, I went to my classroom for the first (and what would be the only time until November) when it was becoming clear that we might not re-open for in person instruction. When I went to my room to get the materials I needed to plan and digitize my lessons, I grabbed a few of the collage frames that hang in the front of my classroom. I ended up decorating my bedroom wall to emulate what the wall behind my desk at school looks like. It gave some normalcy to an abnormal start. In November, when it sounded like we would be re-opening, I took the pictures back to my classroom and got my room into shape. (That was a stressful day - two masks, a face shield, standing in a room I did not feel safe in and wondering how re-opening could be safe for my kids, and having a huge pit in my stomach knowing that I would not be there if we did re-open, as I had already turned in my paperwork to take a temporary leave if we re-opened). Then the county went into the Purple Tier, and re-opening was postponed. I was relieved, sad, frustrated, excited, a whole mix of contradictory emotions, because the situation was bleak but I was also able to keep teaching. Over Veteran’s Day, since my wall was now blank, I decorated my wall for the holidays. My students even sent me drawings of ornaments they make, sort of a glimmer of when we’re in person and have homeroom door decoration competitions. Winter break came and went and we remained in the Purple Tier, so I decided to redecorate my wall for January with snowflakes that my daughter and I made out of recycled materials. (A LOT of crafting has gone on these last 10 months!) This past weekend, I was startled to realize that this Monday would be the start of February. In a normal year, I make each kid a Valentine. It’s one of those things that is really dorky, but the kids actually love it. I leave a personalized one with a piece of candy on each of their seats. Many of them joke I’m their first or only Valentine. Another little bit of fun lost this year. But I like to stay positive, so I decorated my wall with hearts with their names. It may not be the personalized Valentine I usually make, but it adds some festive fun to our Zoom. I know my days of Distance Learning are coming to an end soon. The good news is our local case rates are declining, but I am anxious. My district is one of the only in the county to opt into the governor’s plan to re-open schools, lured by the promise of money and fearful of declining enrollment. Our neighboring districts have made statements that it is still unsafe and are holding out for teachers to be vaccinated. I am holding out for the same, and am dreading the repercussions that will come with taking a leave. As much as I’d love to cover the wall with shamrocks at the end of this month, I am predicting our schools will re-open by March. If I have my vaccination, I will be there for sure. However, the vaccinations are not rolling out well here, and I fear I will not have access before schools re-open. I think March is going to see me at home, without my students, staring at a blank wall, desperately trying to get a vaccine. But for now, I will find some happiness in the fact that I have already gotten dms and chats from my students joking with me that I am their first Valentine. At least some things can stay the same. -
2021-01-30
High School Reflections on a Semester of Online Learning
This is the assignment given to my high school juniors at GGHS in Southern California to reflect on their semester of quarantine. Assignments with the #gghsapush and #GGHS hashtags should be related to this assignment. GGHS serves approximately 2400 students, and has an approximate demographic breakdown of: 50% Latino, 39% Asian, 7% White, and 4% other. 66% of the student body is identified as socio-economically disadvantaged, and 23% are identified as English Learners. The school has been on Distance Learning since March 16, 2020. -
2020-12-31
They Never Saw the Sun
For every birthday and Christmas, I get new running shoes. I tell my mom and husband to buy them when they’re on sale, save them, and wrap them up for me. I run A LOT. When quarantine started in March, I took one run outside. Two days later, the CDC confirmed everyone’s worst fears - the virus was airborne. Although running is a low risk activity, where I run, the trails are very narrow. Unfortunately, the people who walk/bike/run there are apparently pretty narrow minded and refuse to wear masks. Could I run outside and not catch COVID? Probably. But with both my husband and I working from home, my +65 mom living with, and a perfectly fine treadmill, that risk just didn’t seem worth it. Man, I miss those trails. But I am lucky to have my treadmill. In July, I pulled out a new pair of running shoes. I honestly didn’t think about how long they’d been tied to the treadmill, I just laced them and put them on like I had done so many times before. One virtual marathon, three virtual 10Ks, and 600+ for fun miles (all on a treadmill) later, it was time to retire my trusty running shoes. On December 31, I announced their retirement with a snarky picture on my Instagram. But what a bizarre pair of shoes to retire. Perfectly clean on the outside, completely destroyed on the inside. The poor things never left the house, they never saw the sun. As a trail runner, my running shoes are always filthy by the time I’m ready to retire them. How strange to retire a pair of shoes that look brand new. How tired they are inside. A symbol of the bizarre year that was 2020.