Items

• 2020-05-10

  I secretly love Covid-19

  Top 20 Good Things about Covid-19: 1. Peace and quiet 2. Much less traffic 3. Pollution is way down 4. Gas companies are upset 5. Spoiled children are depressed 6. Republican suicide-by-liberation is a thing 7. The vast majority of jobs are inessential 8. No professional sports, AKA stupid distractions 9. Familial bond forging 10. My alcoholic neighbors don't warm up their two cars - a giant, rumbling Ford F150 and a two door Mini Cooper with a modified (AKA much louder) muffler - right outside my bedroom window for 20 minutes at 6:30AM every weekday morning 11. Mother Nature won't go down without a fight 12. Rich people forced to pay poor people 13. The airline industry, a wasteful and destructive industry that pollutes like crazy, is suffering 14. Cruise ships, modern monstrosities of disgusting opulence that helped the virus spread, are also hurting 15. Real leaders have distinguished themselves 16. The quality of art is directly proportional to the suffering of the artist 17. No mass shootings 18. Sales of bidets way up 19. "light and heat" might kill the virus. Or maybe injections of bleach? Trump wants to look into those ideas, as they come from a mind whose uncle taught at MIT. So, y'know, he just innately understands complex doctor knowledge. Comforting! 20. No need to make up excuses for not visiting grandparents