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  2021-02-17

  THIS IS YOUR NECK ON ZOOM

  Many years ago, there was a public service ad that said ‘This is your brain on drugs.” It featured an egg cracking into a frying pan, sizzling crisply. I feel the same way about my neck on zoom. It is a horrifying sight. For many of us, ZOOM is the funhouse mirror we do not wish to look into. It has been suggested that staring at ourselves on ZOOM calls sucks the life out of our brains and that it might be better to simply not be able to see ourselves. Apparently, you can block yourself from being able to see your own face while allowing your fellow ZOOM-ers to gaze at you. Honestly, that seems worse to me. What if I look like a Salvador Dali painting? And what about my NECK? Chin high, neck elongated is my mantra. Channeling Audrey Hepburn helps. Otherwise, I look like a candidate for a Thanksgiving carving board. This is what COVID hath wrought. Not a fear of disease or death (although THAT is responsible for the extra furrows between my brows), but a conversation about inner beauty and wisdom vs. gravity and slackness of skin. For women of a certain age COVID has brought a dollop of fear, and a hefty helping of self-pity at the mere thought of newborn grandchildren we cannot hold. And it has also rendered us as insecure and self-conscious as a teenager with a pimple on the tip of the nose. The state of the skin beneath my chin should not matter, and yet it does.