Items

• 
  2020-05-06

  Golf in the Time of Corona

  A piece I wrote and submitted to my local paper, The East Hampton Star, about playing golf in the time of the virus. It was meant to capture the mood and anxieties of the time and also be humorous.
• 
  2020-04

  Coping with Quarantine

  I must say 2020 so far was not what I expected it to be. I began Brooklyn College on January 30th, 2020 for spring semester after taking a 10 year break from when I received my associate’s degree.I enjoyed getting back into the swing of things and coming to campus, making new friends and getting to know my Professor’s and engaging in my classes. This was a new routine me and it was exciting but challenging as well, between work, home life and taking five classes to say I was super busy was an understatement. When I first heard of the Corona Virus and what was happening in China, the resilient New Yorker in me thought “ this is NYC that won’t happen to us, we are fine “ but I was wrong. I was truly blindsided when the virus started spreading and became a world wide pandemic. Sadly I realized that it was serious when the mass hysteria began and I could not find toilet paper, hand sanitizer and everyday cleaning products. Shortly after, College became remote and I found myself unemployed. My busy, hectic, challenging and exciting new routine suddenly came to a stop, but I would soon realize the blessing in disguise with this quarantine. I was now home with my Sixteen year old Son and we were both learning from home. It was not easy for me, I soon noticed that I learn better in a class setting. I found it difficult to give my full attention to my Professor’s and my assignments but I pulled through and found the discipline to pass all my classes. During the quarantine I needed to find ways to make life interesting for myself, my Son and Fiancé. We started spring cleaning early, I started cooking takeout dishes that we missed, such as Chinese fried rice and Magnolia Bakery’s Banana Pudding, and I even learned how to dye my roots blond. My family and I were blessed to not be affected by Covid-19 personally and the quarantine did bring us closer together and although 2020 was not what I expected I am thankful and blessed for what it has given me and I hope that we all can only move forward and I pray there won’t be a second wave. God Bless us all.
• 
  2020

  The Year(s) of COVID

  I did not expect 2020 to turn out this way, I had a year of travels planned and a summer of adventures. I remember telling patients at the pharmacy I work at that things will be fine, we just need to a little cautious but I was wrong, it seemed almost routine that we started getting phone calls informing us a patient passed away. Scrolling through any platform, I would come across a familiar face that is now gone. It became numbing when I found myself rubbing my skin raw in the shower after working 10 hour shifts, the mask tan was humorous at first now it is a little saddening this is the reality. I remember watching the news in April with my family and going "wow only 700 people died today" and wondered if that was the new reality. Sometimes all of this feels so surreal, is it really happening? I want to remain optimistic but it seems almost impossible when things never seem to get any better. This is our new normal, life before COVID will never return.
• 
  2020-04

  The Room Gym

  As for all of us around the world, we all experienced unique circumstances within our homes. For me, it was keeping up with my workout routine these past six months. The gym has become my second home over the past two years. It was where I can relieve my daily stressors and shut off my mind for an hour. The healthy lifestyle changes that I have made were greatly influenced by working out, so having the gym closed during the pandemic was a drastic change in my environment, along with the closing of schools. Right before everything was officially shut down, my mom and I drove to the nearest target to grab a set of dumbbells. By the time we got there, everyone was in a frantic state and the shelves were practically empty. Luckily, I was able to get my hands on a set of 10s and one 40 lb. They were the last of the weights, I cannot imagine what would've happened if we came five minutes later. These three dumbbells became the sole accessories of my workouts for the coming months. I knew it was time to get creative. In addition to some resistance bands I own, I obtained a shopping basket from my local market. To mimic the deep back squats, I would pile all my weights in the basket and grab two dining table chairs. Then I would stand on top while straddling the basket with my hands. Originally, I used my younger brother but he became too occupied with video games as quarantine went on. This repetitive movement would allow anyone to quit after the first month, but I kept on going. The idea of maintaining my strength no matter the lengths I had to go through was my key motivator. By using grocery bags filled with detergent bottles tied to a broomstick, laundry bags filled with clothes, I performed my exercises in the strict confinements in my bedroom. My parents were too busy focusing on not scraping any new furniture or floors that came with finished renovations. I was not allowed to workout outside my room, so this was another mentally challenging restriction. It is different weight lifting right next to an unmade bed, and I was so close to giving up almost every week. I would try to find loopholes, but nothing was going to change my parents minds. I had to keep pushing myself, no matter what. I knew if I gave into the temptations of my soft bed, I would never get back to exercising until the gyms re opened. What helped was going on daily isolated walks, so I could at least get out of my room for a little. As I am sitting here typing this memo, I am ever so grateful for the gyms reopening. With the limited equipment and lack of space, I am truly amazed that I did not give into the laziness. Though in other aspects of my life activity levels depleted, working out in my room was the one habit I kept consistent throughout.
• 
  2020-09-27

  Growing Up

  Hello! I am a 20 year old college student who has been afraid to face the responsibilities the world has for me. I always thought "I'm not ready for responsibility. I can barely take care of myself." Due to this, I always procrastinated on real life tasks outside of school, and depended on my parent. However, COVID-19 came and changed my reality. Everything went remote, and my parent was left facing unemployment. My sick grandmother could no longer get the care she needed, and there was no family member nearby that could help with her wellbeing. It became chaotic. At that very moment, I realized it no longer mattered how I felt about being ready for responsibilities. Majority of people were not "ready", but it became demanded of them to do what they needed to do. Ready or not, I needed to do what I needed to do. After being with myself in silence and calming my nerves, I realized that there were people who needed me to be there to help them, people that I love and care about. I was scared at first to take on such a big burden. I'm a full time student taking more credits than normal, I took up a full time job in order to make sure I took care of my parent, my grandmother, and myself, and I also needed to move out of the home I grew up into a whole other town in order to take care of my grandmother. In all honesty, I was scared. Here I am a young adult, who has not had major responsibilities, being brought into a situation where others depend on me to take charge essentially. This is all taking place in the middle of a pandemic, so it is vital that I am extra cautious, especially living with someone immunocompromised. Despite the uncertainties of what is to come each day, I have learned about myself and what I am actually capable of. Although COVID has brought about countless tragedies, some of which I've experienced, it has allow me to become a stronger, more dependable person for others who will later need me to aid them in any circumstances. It is still a learning process.
• 
  2020-09-27

  The Ones We Have Lost

  Throughout this unexpected pandemic, many have lost a family member, a friend, or someone they knew. It has truly been a tragic event in history. Like many others, I lost someone I was very close with. My grandma was my best friend, she raised me as a kid, and though me the things I know and follow now. Her name was Maria and she lived in the Dominican Republic, she died at the age of 83. Many people in the neighborhood she lived in had gotten sick due to the virus. Slowly she too was getting sick. Her neighborhood was considered as a red zone which meant that the virus was spreading fast. Many of these people live with the majority of their families in one house. My grandma did not get the virus as she was very cautious. She had pulmonary edema and it was what caused her death. I told my mom that I wanted to go and be with her, my uncle had died a week before and I did not want my grandma to be without me. My grandma was buried the same day she died, without a goodbye she went away. So far away she was, I didn’t even a last hug or a last I love you. I lost many people due to COVID, but this one hurt me the most. I wanted to dedicate this story to all those we have lost. Their memories will forever remain with us, in our hearts. Although they died alone in a bed, they each knew they were loved and it was just simply their time to leave. My mama ( grandma) was the funniest human being I knew, I’m glad I took advantage of the time we had. So if you have lost someone just know that I am with you, It’s okay to feel the way you feel. One day we will get to see them again!
• 
  2020-03-17

  2020 Pandemic

  I was exposed to the Coronavirus almost immediately after the initial outbreak. I was already feeling sick in the middle of March. I felt a constant throbbing in my throat, sometimes I would wake up to a burning feeling in my lungs and felt pressure as though someone was standing on top of my chest. The first two weeks straight, I went from freezing cold to burning hot every few minutes, accompanied by a constant throbbing headache. The most menial of tasks would cause shortness of breath and my heart to pump excessively. I honestly felt I was going to die. After about a month, my breathing became less labored. In three months, I felt I recovered enough to start exercising again. By exercise, I mean the ability to walk a few blocks without having the wind knocked out of me. I began checking in with my family and found out that I had lost over 30 family members in Ecuador. I also lost a coworker, who was one of the kindest people you could meet and who was loved by her students. The amount of horrible and depressing individual stories of my family dying are too much to repeat, so I will say if there was ever a living nightmare, it was experienced by them. If I could describe what living through hell is like, I would say that it is the last six months of my life. Americans, as a whole, could have done better. To the people who have pretended that nothing is wrong, you deserve everything that is coming to you and I have absolutely no pity.
• 
  2020-09-27

  The effects of pandemic on my life.

  The pandemic ruined all my plans for this year and I could not get to enjoy the amazing senior events that I was looking forward to. I learned that things don't always go as planned but we still need to be courageous.
• 
  2020-09-27

  How covid-19 changed my life.

  It is important because it affected my employability.
• 
  2001-03-02

  what I have done with all the free time the virus gave me

  My document talks about what I have done with all the free time the virus gave me
• 
  2020-03-23

  Nap Time

  The drawing I’m submitting represents how the city felt at the beginning of the pandemic. New York is known as the city that never sleeps. However, for the first time ever I was witnessing how the city that never sleeps began to take a nap. The streets were empty, everyone was hoarding for toilet paper and groceries. It literally felt like I was in a movie. I never taught would spent most of the year stuck in my apartment. Everything happened so fast and unexpected that my brain couldn’t process everything that was happening. It just seemed so unreal. I watch the news and all I saw was fear on the eyes of the anchors while giving the number of deaths due to COVID-19. On the other hand we had the government officials spreading misinformation about possible cures for the virus. Some suggested that cleaning supplies would cure the virus and ironically some people believe it. A couple of weeks later we saw the horrible video of the death of George Floyd and all the protest and riots that occurred all over the country. I remember feeling very upset at the beginning so I decided to stop watching the news and focus the last energy that I had left in my school work and art. I love drawing and I found it very therapeutical. I chose to color the building of the city black and shade the sky with the color grey because we were going trough really dark times. I hope that in the near future I can go back to the park and use brighter colors that represent better vibes of the city. Like I said in the beginning we are just taking a nap temporarily but the sun will rise again.
• 
  2020-04

  Hope Is All We Have

  Similar to many other Americans, the difficult months of March and April provoked a feeling of fear of what is to become when we return to “normalcy” in me. I still remember watching news channels constantly breaking the news of hospitals being overcrowded and insufficient storage of bodies making me terrified. The non-stop sirens were a reminder of the heart-wrenching situation we were living in every moment. I realize that we may never return to normal again. As we slowly return to our respective workplaces and institutions, I expect a more cautious attitude in New Yorkers. Some changes include less crowded trains and buses, fewer social gatherings, and less physical contact. Previously, crowdedness and liveliness were the essence of New York City but I do not expect this to remain to the same extent now. However, one positive change I expect in people is a kinder and compassionate attitude towards one another. These few months of quarantine have taught us to appreciate all that we have more. I expect New York City to develop a greater community outreach with New Yorkers looking out for one another. Having been one of the hardest hit cities in the world, we will evidently have more guidelines and safety precautions in effect once we return which will serve as a reminder of the battle that we have faced. I believe that each life we lose will soften the hearts of New Yorkers and unite us in our strength to overcome. When we look back upon this crisis, we will remember the frustration of being restricted to our homes, the fear of hearing the news of a lost loved one, and the anticipation of the good news of a treatment.
• 
  2020

  Fear of the Unknown

  Dealing with the coronavirus, I now appreciate the outdoors and what I previously considered daily hassles have become beautiful memories. I have become more patient as the unsurety of the situation is intense. We are left wondering when public institutions will open or merely when we can step outside the house without worrying about the six-foot distance with others. The initial shock and denial have metamorphosed into solidarity among communities and humankind. Whereas otherwise we would have ignored the part of our routine in which we communicated with others, we now felt a longing for that same one-minute interaction. The minute-by-minute increase in deaths instilled fear in the hearts of many and individuals were living on the edge. It was fear of the unknown and desperation for an end to this extended period of isolation. The most significant change I am noticing due to this pandemic is that people have mellowed down. People have put their fast-track life on pause, specifically New Yorkers, and are waiting out the storm to pass. During the pre-quarantine life, not many would have payed attention to the needs of their elderly neighbors. However, the current situation has encouraged everyone to be on the lookout for anyone who needs help. People have become more sympathetic and I envision the same of the post-coronavirus world. The world will change in the future as a result of this pandemic as everyone will become more cautious, constantly monitoring the littlest of changes in our health. People will think twice before touching their face or a seat on the bus. Ultimately, I envision a post-pandemic world to be more sensitive and informed.
• 
  2020-03-01

  Mental Health Effects of COVID-19

  COVID-19 was an experience that presented the ideal conditions that would challenge our mental health. The fear of the unknown, fear of losing loved ones, fear of missing out on our precious years of life as well as not knowing when we'll see our close family and friends. We are separated from society unable to see our loved ones, schools are closed, many people lost their jobs or were unable to work to prevent the spread of this horrifying disease. As we're locked into our homes, we confine ourselves in our own minds which can often be our worst enemies at times for people like me. We need to be occupied and be around loved ones in order to stray away from negativity. During these times being surrounded by close family and friends was a luxury we couldn't afford because of the virus and ultimately many people like myself picked up hobbies to distract ourselves from the dreadful events occurring all over the world. During my summer break, I began learning to paint and would spend about a couple hours a day painting with my friends over Zoom which would either sometimes turn out to be a competition between us of who would do the best or we would just freely paint while listening to some calming music and keeping each other company. Although I am not very artistic or good at acrylic painting there was something very therapeutic about it. My entire focus and attention was solely on doing my best to recreate the painting from the tutorial I was watching on YouTube or trying to win the friendly competition with my friends and this helped me steer away from pondering about what's been going on in the world and was very stress-relieving. In a way my COVID-19 experience taught me a lot about my mental health and helped me find ways to make the best of the situation and not take anything for granted. Now a couple months into quarantine I still paint from time to time although not as much because the semester started and being bombarded with assignments and tests but I do make time for it if I find that I need to release my stress.
• 
  2020

  A cacophony of silence

  This is a personal account of my time during the height of the pandemic, how it affected my studies, and ultimately the crushing loneliness of it all. Hello, My name is Shemar Providence and this is my account of the COVID19 pandemic. I will begin at the start of the virus. During this time I was going to classes as normal. The virus had become known as it swept through Wuhan china. My mother and I were worried that it would eventually make its way over to the states. Overall I would describe the climate around the virus as a general sense of apathy. “As long as it wasn't over here everything is fine” was a common sentiment among my peers as well as governing officials. It was the beginning of March when it began to spread like wildfire in new york. The most apathetic of us were now worried or decided to stay home. Colleges began to transition to online learning to stop the spread. Within about 2 weeks, from the gossip to the first outbreak, New york was put into a standstill. I was born with asthma as well as a weakened immune system. For me, the virus was a matter of life and death. I live with my mother who quarantined me in the house until the virus would cool down. We bought masks, hand sanitizer, gloves, whatever we could get our hands on to keep each other safe. During this time the mania had begun all over the country. People were buying things in bulk fighting each other over the most basic of things. It was a mess. it was approaching the end of March. In just a few short weeks I got a glimpse at what pandemonium looked like. Remote learning was a challenge. My neighborhood had poor connectivity issues. For about half of April, I had no internet connection and could not reach 2 of my professors. I ended up not getting credit for those classes. For the other professors, I was able to reach I was able to come up with a compromise. A lot of instructors weren't really well versed in remote learning and would go missing some days. With poor connectivity zoom meetings would stutter and stop. Overall the entire learning process was halted not only for me but for others as well. Considering how many others had a poor connection and were forced to drop classes. The greatest thing to experience first hand was the politics of the virus. You would think a matter pertaining to community health would not become a divisive issue but it was. Like everything in recent years, it had to be split down the middle to appeal to the most radical on both sides. Some people were saying it was a hoax and that the government was seeing how far they could control people. These people felt as though being forced to wear a mask violated their civil liberties. These were the most apathetic of us not caring about what happens to those of us who are less healthy. They bemoaned anyone who would wear a mask as a democrat thus sparking the aforementioned democrats to return fire. And like that the division grew. I think the isolation from the quarantine probably helped to heighten tensions but looking at it live it just seems so stupid. A matter as simple as stopping the spread became a democrat and republican issue, and a rights issue. republican s even put less emphasis on the virus due to it spreading in primarily blue states. It was all truly awful. With the country seemingly falling apart in pandemonia staying at home felt more and more suffocating. The same four walls became a coffin of sorts. If the virus got in I would be done for. However, I was still dead to the world around me. Keeping touch with friends was my only salvation between schoolwork and deafening silence. It didn't help that my own mother kept live streaming the ongoing pain at its height. I couldn't escape it. The death of the depression the pain. It was all around me. People I knew and loved in my neighborhood died and I couldn't even see them go. I grew depressed and more cynical as a person. It seemed like hell. It just kept going and going. School ended leaving me more depressed over my studies than ever. But at least the rate of death had started to decrease. It is starting to get better, slowly but surely. But it still feels as though there is worse yet to come. This year has been so divisive and sad. And I feel like it will just keep getting worse.
• 
  2020-03-10

  Full plate Spilled: Essential Healthcare in a Pandemic

  I've lived in New York for 5 years, moving at 18 and worked my way up to feeling at home here. I'm a full spectrum doula ( a non-medical birth support coach), a public health student, and healthcare worker. Right before the pandemic I was very busy. I had a birth client who was also my friend who gave birth on Tuesday, March 10th. That was the day the South Brooklyn Maimonides Hospital had it's first two Covid patients. I was kicked out that evening as were all non-birth parents in the maternity ward which was heartbreaking as my client had a difficult pregnancy and a c-section earlier that day. I was the only person allowed in the operating room while the baby was born. On Friday is when everything changed as the pandemic was announced when the baby was 3 days old. My last good moments before quarantine was holding the newborn daughter of my client, reading the news on the TV while my client slept. I was worried about what would happen to them and for my own health as I have health conditions that put me at risk for worse outcomes. I work my main job as a HIV prevention and HIV treatment navigator at a major health clinic conglomerate. We had stopped all in person appointments the following week on March 16th, but it was too late, in our 14 clinics we had 2 co-workers die from Covid-19. In my clinic alone there were 11 cases within our staff. I got sick on March 21st, and had what was diagnosed as pneumonia (although my doctor believes it was covid that hid in my lungs and was not detected by tests.) I couldn't breathe most nights and while quarantined at my friend's two bedroom apartment I found my fingers and toes turning blue and had a fever of 102 for over a week. My job was in chaos, half staff people working from home, and all essential staff coming in to report in person. Just two weeks after getting ill and still recovering from pneumonia I had to return to do in person care at the peak of NYs Covid-19 first wave. Due to a loss in funding we did not and still do not receive any hazard pay to come in. In my first two weeks back, my godfather's healthy mother died of covid, my high school best friend's mother Carolyn died of covid on March 28th and on April 6th her brother Thomas died on his 30th birthday. By May 1st I was still going to work every day and had lost 8 people in my life to Covid-19, such a high number that I still haven't come to terms with. I have recovered from my pneumonia and thankfully have now tested negative for covid 5 times since March, however the fear is still there if I were to get it from my in person patients. I had to stop doing doula work, which is a passion of mine. However there have been some positives to make things a little easier. I became a godmother. My client's baby is 6 months old and thriving. I'm fortunate to be employed during a time of such financial upheaval. I am also fortunate enough to be in therapy for my mental health which has suffered during this time. I hope this pandemic ends soon and wish no one will have to endure what I've had to go through.
• 
  2020-04-01

  Me, My Mom, & Her Mental Illness

  This is an auto ethnography about me and my mom's experience when the Covid 19 outbreak and quarantine first started. My mom is a Black woman with Schizophrenia and I am her caretaker so it expands into larger societal issues as well.
• 
  2020-09-20

  From Ground Zero in Italy

  My immediate family, sister and mother, live in the city of Albino, in the province of Bergamo, the hardest hit area in Italy. The rest of my family lives in Cremona, the second hardest hit area in Italy. My sister contracted the virus at the very beginning of the pandemic, sometime in February 2019. She locked herself up in her room for 6 weeks and eventually recovered. Six months later she still suffers from fatigue and on-and-off muscle pain. Two older relatives died of the virus. One was in a hospital for minor surgery he had postponed for a few months. When he finally decided to get it done, it was right at the beginning of the storm. He was infected and died in a matter of days. The second one was in assisted living. The angel of death glided over the facility and took more than two dozen residents with it. The most painful was the death of a high school friend, a family doctor in Como. He started seeing patients with strange symptoms. With no guidance and no information from the Health Dept, he kept doing his job. When he came down with the infection, the virus load was so high he only lasted a few days. My mother escaped the infection. She lives in the same building as my sister, but they didn't see each other for months. She lived alone like a recluse. Friends or relative would drop off food by her door, she would put out the garbage and that was it. In the meantime she kept hearing stories of people she had known for a lifetime who passed away "they are dropping like flies" she told me one day. She mentioned a famous poem by Italian poet Giuseppe Ungaretti, a poem he wrote while he was fighting in the trenches of World War I: "We are like leaves on a branch in autumn." I spent hours every day, sometimes several times a day for weeks, trying to console and give her courage. At a certain point I thought she was about to give up. She wasn't eating anymore, she was getting weaker and weaker, half asleep the whole day, awake in terror and sorrow at night. As to my life, it is similar to that of most of you. I live outside NY, my wife, two daughters and I managed with some adjustments in our routines. I avoided social networks like the plague (sorry for the metaphor), stayed away from the news and commentaries, focused on my teaching as much as possible, even took care of the backyard. Over the months, it was discouraging to the point of banging my head on my desk when I was watching Europe slowly getting control over the pandemic, while in the US we were and still are stumbling like blind morons, clueless and bamboozled by borderline criminal propaganda. I am not talking about all, of course. But it is frankly horrifying and terrifying to find out that 1 out of 2 people - more or less - I see in the streets live in a state of willful derangement, posing a danger to themselves (I could care less about them) but most of all to the rest of us.
• 
  2020-08-31

  From Ahuehuetitla to Brooklyn: Life under the COVID-19 pandemic and the Trump Administration

  Using autoethnography as the method of research, this paper explores the fears and anxieties exacerbated in the Latinx community during the COVID-19 pandemic. Through narrative snapshots, I depict how the pandemic worsened due to policy meant to limit undocumented Latinx immigrants’ access to health services. By focusing on the evolution of the public charge, this project depicts the ways the Trump administration’s hateful rhetoric and racist policies exacerbate the fear, life-threatening conditions, and long-lasting trauma on undocumented Latinx immigrants during the COVID-19 pandemic. Closing in on one Brooklyn family’s navigation of the 2020 political climate, worsening pandemic, working-class realities, and immigration system, I take you through the present realities often left unseen by mainstream media.