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  2020-05-06

  Questioning the Future

  I closed my laptop after taking my last final exam for my second semester of college. Rather than celebrating the end of my freshman year of college with friends, I was found alone in my childhood bedroom, wondering what the future had next to offer. The distraction of being able to focus on my schoolwork provided an escape from the other depressing reality that I found myself in. My parents were stressed for their own safety, and for the safety of their loved ones, as COVID-19 roamed rampant throughout the United States. My younger brother was attempting to balance online school at the young age of thirteen- stressing about online lectures rather than being able to play with friends as I did at such a young age. I felt angry and helpless that there are people in my community who would not follow preventative measures such social distancing or wearing a mask- simple actions that would be able to save countless lives. I felt frustrated that the leadership of the United States blamed other nations for causing this pandemic, rather than work tirelessly to find ways to stop the spread of COVID-19. In a time where I should have been surrounded by those who I cared deeply about, forming new relationships that would last a lifetime, and focusing on what I truly want to gain in life- I was found alone and wondering if the future I imagined would ever be possible. I imagined that I would be able to go back to school the next year- a campus that I grew up on and imagined making friends on and being social with others- with the hope that a vaccine for COVID-19 would be found. I remember my parents feeling scared about their future as educators, questioning if they would be thrown into the zoo of high school and elementary students, who may have contracted and spread COVID-19. I remember my brother being scared that if he saw his friend, he would make mom and dad sick. All of these depressive scenarios truly made me question the type of life that I was living. Before the pandemic, I remember living life freely; however, it was as if one day was simply repeated into the next, I was going through the motions of life in order to succeed and achieve the future that I desire. Being alone in my childhood bedroom allowed me to realize that life is truly precious at its core- one will never know when their path for life and their future may take a turn for the worst or run into a bump in the road. Nevertheless, spending time with my family for five months allowed me to become reawakened to the little things that life has to offer. The smile of saying hello to a friend without it being hidden behind a mask. The hug of a loved one without it being through protective plastic. Although the pandemic halted my path to the future that I imagined I would have, it allowed me to remember what life truly has to offer, ensuring me that I am still on my path to achieve the future that I desire.