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  2021-02-20

  Vaccine Rollout Plans Are Actively Neglecting People of Color

  “Vaccine hesitance among Black people is real but it is NOT the reason why only FIVE PERCENT of vaccinations have gone to the Black community.” This is what the original poster wrote in their social media caption on Instagram. Many people are justifiably concerned with the current vaccine rollout and accessibility. Multiple people have taken to their respective social media accounts on Twitter to voice their thoughts about it. Vaccine hesitancy was acknowledged by handle @dch1309 as one reason for people not getting vaccinated. However, it seems that this reason is being generalized throughout the entire POC population. In reality, folks like handle @allysonxgill had the impossible task of booking an appointment to get vaccines. Meanwhile, handle @m_jones490 shared their significant other’s experience with an already-booked appointment, yet the site still had organization issues. I think handle @claudiaalick wrote the core of what I want to say; “The United States must always blame Black people for their own suffering." From these multiple accounts, it’s clear to me that there seems to be an active mission the organizers (government) are on that keep people of color away from even the option of getting vaccinated. Vaccination sites are disorganized and inaccessible to these folks. This happens while non-POC folks fault POC folks for not getting vaccinated at all; victim-blaming at its finest.
• 2020-10-03

  Eating in Front of a Mirror

  Pre-Covid I already lived an isolated life, both physically and due to pervasive anxiety. I would spend weeks pushing myself, go inside the store, talk to three people at yoga, text four people, a million little social tasks that I did to keep my human animal happy. I live in a rural area, work part time at a library, and survive in a sort of genteel poverty. About every three months I'd drive to visit an old friend. Beyond customers at the library and polite friendships with coworkers, that was the only social interaction I really had. Stage one of the pandemic and my workplace closed, we were furloughed. Still paid. And after a single massive shopping trip at the end of March I just stayed home. Really stayed home. I was lucky, I'm already an introvert, have a home on acreage, pets. It wasn't great, but I was comforted knowing so many people were quietly going through the same thing. Then George Floyd was killed and I was called back to work a week later. This was the worst time so far. The building was closed and yet staffed, so we sat surrounded by clorox while people banged on the windows and cursed us. The pointlessness of it, we were only there so our employer could qualify for the PPP money. The anxiety of each coworker potentially being ill. And then, in the lull of work, the many many political opinions of all my white coworkers. I stayed silent, the lone POC, but I can assure you, I now detest them all. This phase ended when my boss got covid an ill-advised vacation to the Gulf. Coming back from our isolation I entered phase 3 of my pandemic. I now hate all my coworkers and view them as existential threats. Due both to their extremely foolish behaviors and their racism. They attend 200 guest count weddings, take discounted flights, and attend funerals. I try to work around them, taking vacation days to avoid them directly after they return. I have moved my desk out of the shared office and directly into the main room of the building. We are fully open again. Masks are not required. It is possible to drive around my small town and see not a single sign of the pandemic. The local diner which has flouted all the mild restrictions since April still has their sign out front, "Our Fried Chicken is to Die For!" I've started to feel mildly insane for still isolating, for still wearing a mask. But I'm also used to having the sole dissenting opinion in the room. For now my plan is to just not get sick, there's no plan if I do get it. I just go home and spend another weekend eating in front of a mirror, and sleeping with a hot water bottle to try and quiet my lonely human animal.