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  2021-05-29

  COVID-19 and Mental Health

  I took this picture on May 29, 2020, at 10:35 am. Why I choose this picture? This picture reflected my feeling in 2020. After months without going outside, I was heading to Staten Island to visit my aunt. I remember that I had anxiety even to open the door of my apartment. Whenever I went outside, it was close to my apartment, and my skin started to itch for no reason. My family used to watch the news the whole day. I was tired of listening to the report. Besides, during COVID-19, I was having an awful time. A few months ago, one of my friends died, and It was depressing for me. Before she died, I let my ego break the relationship between us. I refused to call her or text her because I was tired of looking after her. I remember my father told me to call her because I did not know what was happening with her. I ignored him. Riding to Staten Island that morning made me remember the hard time that I was going through. The day that I went to Staten Island, it was cloudy and dark. I thought that the ferry would sink into the water. When I got to Staten Island, it started to rain, and I did not bring an umbrella. I was mad, but it was my fault for not checking the weather. I compare that dark and desperate day with the mourning of my friend and the pandemic. For months, I felt guilty and thought that I did not deserve anything good in my life. The worst of all of this is that I did not have anybody to talk to. I was in quarantine for months, and it affected my mental health. I had no desire to continue college and my business. I used to cry a lot, and all I wanted was to talk to someone about how the pandemic and the death of my friend affected me. I had desired to go to the Dominican Republic, but I could not go. I think that this source can help historians because they can get to know about different perspectives of people during the COVID-19 pandemic. They would notice the anxiety that not only I went through, but everybody around the world had been through. My neighborhood was affected significantly. Some of my neighbors got COVID and died from it. I know that many people saw themselves as the picture. They thought that everything around them was going to end. They thought that they would be stuck in the pandemic forever.