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  2021-03-18

  Moving During a Plague Year

  2020 began as an optimistic year. In January, I decided to apply to the Public History MA program at the University of Colorado, Denver. We were living in Amarillo, Texas, and dreaming of a home that allowed us to thrive in our chosen fields, something that was unlikely in our hometown. So in early March of 2020, we decided to make the out-of-state move to Denver, Colorado. I had not yet been accepted to a grad program, and my husband did not have a job in our new city. "We'll figure it out." That's typically how it goes for two easy-going free spirits: set the destination and let the journey figure itself out. We looked forward to our April 4th move date as the reality of the Pandemic slowly set in. I was thankful for my workplace shutting down because it gave me plenty of time to pack up the house with a blissful ignorance for the year to come. I packed, taped, and organized dozens of cardboard boxes while dreaming about my sunny balcony in Denver. I planned going away parties and meticulously arranged coffee meet-ups with my closest friends. Against my best efforts, the in-person experiences faded away as the isolation began to set in. "No worries," I thought, "this will only last a couple of weeks." Oh, how wrong I was. I'm typing this story on March 18, 2021, for an assignment that was given online after a lecture that was presented online. A year later and my life continues virtually. We moved with hope for our future. We weren't hoping that the future involved facing our deepest emotional issues or learning how to love each other in complete isolation. It certainly did not contain a life of unemployment and disappointment. Slowly, begrudgingly, we got to know ourselves and began to heal from years of emotional suppression. I was diagnosed with ADHD for the first time in my life. It changed everything, and I owe my current success to the therapist that offered a discounted rate in my time of need. My husband learned just how deep his depression went. But most importantly, we learned that we could do it, that we can hold on long enough to see the light at the end. My husband just accepted an incredible job, and my academic life is flourishing. Even as I grew increasingly annoyed at the idea of a "bright side," the bright side came and lit up just how far we've come as people and as a couple.
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  2020-02-24

  My Coronavirus Experience

  In the beginning of the pandemic, I immediately realized how a large portion of the public was not focused on the virus itself, but the racial controversy of the virus' origin. This was unnerving to the core, because it is a fact that COVID-19 came from China. While it was unacceptable to accept this as fact, MERS literally stands for Middle Eastern Respiratory Syndrome. It is clear that there was a pro-CCP agenda being pushed in the background when propagating the "COVID Safety" spiel. As time went on, more and more inconsistencies began popping up. Beauty and barber shops closed, but Nancy Pelosi is more than welcome to get her hair done. Masks become required to enter any building or participate in society at all, but when the new President was sworn in, the spectators were sitting shoulder-to-shoulder and masks were few and far between. What my story says about the pandemic is that while we may have had a real potential global crisis, I believe things were skewed, twisted, and flipped so that it is most convenient for those who hold the power, and not done in the best interest of the American people. An example of this in real life was how the Los Angeles Lakers, Ritz Carlton, and Bank of America (per store) were able to get PPP loans, drain the pool of PPP money, and leave small business owners fighting for crumbs. I have linked a Washington Post article below that expands on the PPP loan problem and how our government failed small business. The pandemic I fear will have long-lasting, Orwellian effects on our society in the sense that those in power will continue to use fear mongering to control the public through COVID. Even though a vast majority of the population has already had it and are building antibodies, Western European-style, 1940s era vaccination cards are beginning to circulate. I fear these cards will be the new "gold star" or "Scarlet Letter'', except those without it would be barred from society, rather than those with it. In my opinion, COVID today is what AIDS was in the eighties. Lots of unanswered questions, lots of fear, and government intervention so that free thinking is minimized. These three, and you have a perfect recipe for controlling the masses. Both diseases were politicized to death, and public opinion of the disease swung back and forth with politicization. If AIDS was blown up to the proportion that COVID was, I couldn't imagine the backlash the political and science communities would get from a certain demographic of people who are very vocal and have a statistically higher likelihood of contracting HIV. I hypothesize that pandemic would turn into pandemonium. With that, my experience during quarantine was as expected. Mental health suffered due to lack of human interaction and ability to go outside, and physical health suffered due to inability to go outside and lack of motivation which was connected to mental health. The main positive thing from the pandemic I can identify is the performance of my stock portfolio. Even though I lost my job due to COVID, I was still able to afford rent, food, and supplies to stay hunkered down in my new $900/month prison for my three month sentence. Another big positive from the quarantine was my savings. The pandemic helped me realize how much unnecessary or emotional spending I do. It helped me point out lots of bad habits I have so I can work on fixing them. Things like spending money when I'm sad, and identifying vices that hold me back in my day-to-day. While the pandemic brought a lot of negatives to me and the world around me, I believe there are some positive things to take away from it. Opening your mind to more than what the government feeds you, appreciating every moment you have, embracing new hobbies, and learning how to maneuver through change. These are all things the pandemic has taught me, but if I had the option, I wouldn't do it again. In terms of being a part of history, simply by living you are a part of history. I was at Sloan-Kettering in NYC with my family getting a life-extending cancer treatment for my father when 9/11 happened. He was one of three patients that day because while in surgery, the first plane hit the towers. The rest of the patients to be seen that day were canceled. I suppose the point I am trying to make is that history is subjective. 9/11 wasn’t 9/11 to me. 9/11 was the day I was blessed with enough time to make some foundational memories of my father before he passed. It can be argued that since I have been invested in GameStop since November, I was a part of history there too. I went to the Game 7 Cardinals vs. Red Sox World Series Game in Fenway Park. The game that broke the Bambino Curse. Again, it could be argued that I was a part of history there too, except my three year old self was asleep for the last two innings. History is subjective, and every day, everyday people like you and I make history. Historians and memoirists will use these events in the future to write articles, make movies and tv shows, write books, and extrapolate many other kinds of art from it. However, most often historical stories are told through a lens of subjectivity, and because of that, eventually all history becomes skewed to the point where it is indistinguishable from fable.