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depression
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2020-08-01
The Pleasant Sounds of a Quiet Town
The photograph captures a moment of my family in Helen, Georgia. It marked our very first vacation as the pandemic began to subside, and society slowly started to reopen. Throughout the challenging year of 2020, I wrestled with numerous dark and trying circumstances. My engagement dissolved, my health deteriorated, and my battle with depression intensified. I often felt isolated, with nowhere to turn for human connection, as everything around us remained shuttered. The deserted streets and vacant stores seemed to echo the emptiness I felt inside. However, this trip to Helen breathed new life into me. For the first time in a year, I felt a spark of vitality. In Helen, I could once again frequent bustling restaurants, immerse myself in the sound of live music, and explore the welcoming shops. It marked the beginning of a remarkable turnaround in my life, which has since led to some of the most fulfilling years I've experienced. Today, I cherish even the smallest moments, such as a simple trip to buy groceries and the comforting presence of people in my life. -
2020-08-24
First Day of School Picture
The picture I chose to add to the archive is my first day of school on August 24, 2020. In this picture, I was laying in bed with my laptop because everything was online. If you were lucky, you got a professor that taught class on Zoom. That is the closest to being in a regular classroom as it got. You were able to see your classmates (if they turned their camera on), you could have discussions with everyone, ask the professor questions and get immediate answers. On the other hand, you could get stuck with a professor who chose to use youtube videos and websites instead of teaching. These were the worst, poor to almost no teacher-student interaction, just discussion boards and Google. It was impossible for me to learn like this, I felt like I was not being taught! It was always stressful when trying to do assignments for classes like this because I did not understand the curriculum. If I needed to contact my professor, I just had to send an email and hope they would email me back soon with answers. Sometimes, I would not get a response until days later, a few times I never got a response. After a while of this, I started to feel miserable, stressed, and depressed. My grades started getting lower and lower and knowing how much school costs, knowing that I was going to lose my grants and scholarships because I was failing, I started having anxiety attacks. In my head, I kept saying, “I cannot learn like this, I know I am going to fail, so why keep trying?” Things got to a point where I would open my laptop, look at my assignments, cry, and then just close my laptop back up. I lost all my motivation and I lost sight of my dreams to be an optometrist. I remember the day that I dropped out, the defeat that I felt, feeling like a complete failure. -
2022-03
Yesteryear
Yesteryear is the product of pent up anxiety, confusion, loss, depression and hopelessness, painted in 2022. It is how I would describe life before and after Covid-19. Separated into two pieces the anterior canvas is multicolored, to represent the carefree state of life. It can represents the high points in my life pre-pandemic, inclusive of freedom and family. The oil protrudes in some parts and is flat in others signifying the highs and lows of everyday life. The posterior canvas is quite the opposite if viewed closely, some of the colors used in the painting above have been covered in dark colors. It is smooth to the touch. No high points in this instance. All lows. Dreary. Dark. The red bordering both , represents the vitality of human nature. At the top it was uncontrolled, bleeding into all other aspects of life pre-Covid. As it travels south, it becomes thinner, more rigid, more linear. It then starts to completely disappear and despair has taken its place. -
2022-09-10
My feelings on the Coronavirus Pandemic
• I am by Profession a Part-time Instructor of Creative Writing. I received my master’s degree in creative Writing from Concordia University. Right now, sine the Coronavirus crisis hit, I have been a full-time Stay-at-Home Mom with our two lovely daughters, Emily 8 and Lisa 10! They have been having the hardest time since the Coronavirus Situation hit our Country. Many times, Emily will say to me ‘Mommy, I’m scared, when will this crisis end? I’m Sorry, because I really don’t know what to say to her, at that age!! When I was a little girl, we didn’t have to face such a crisis! The closest thing we had was in 1961, to hide under our school desks, during siren drills! • Mentally, lately I have, personally been having frequent bouts of Severe Depression, whereby I feel like crying a lot, but my daughters and my husband, Dennis, kisses me, comforts me and tells me not to Worry!! • My Father-in-Law has recently been admitted to the hospital, after he began having severe stomach pains, after helping my Mother-In-Law to lift several boxes of heavy furniture! He was in the hospital for a series of Tests, after which it was discovered that he had damaged his Kidneys and 1-2 months of Intense Physical Therapy, combined with daily Anti-Biotics! A Group of Ladies that I belong to at my Church, have been commenting, “Boy Melissa, you simply don’t seem like your Cheerful, jolly, Loving self, are you sure you are alright?? Is there anything that We can do to help you and Dennis? • I typically work Outside-the-Home, but lately, because of our two daughters, I have chosen to work remotely from Home! But their smiles 😉 make it all worthwhile!! • My Husband and I are both, definitely practicing Social Distancing!! My girlfriends All Admire the ‘Courage-Of-My-Conviction!’ They tell Me Openly that they feel that I AM TRULY ONE OF THE BRAVEST WOMEN THAT THEY KNOW!! Although Dennis and I have to frequently visit his parents only via Skype! This is often-times distressing! • Because of this, We hardly-Ever, if Ever, Go Outside Our Home, so We have had to cancel Running of All Errands, and We absolutely do no Travelling and Outside trips, (Except the get-the-mail), and So we Obviously pursue All of Our Leisure, Social Activities, and all such Celebrations like Thanksgiving, and Christmas, on-line via Zoom! • Personally, I Definitely think that the Government could have done a lot more in the wake of this Covid-19 GLOBAL PANDEMIC. Of course, I am relieved now that we are going to have a Wonderful New Administration in Washington, D.C.! I just hope to-GOD THAT THEY DO NOT “TAKE THEIR EYES OFF THE BALL!!” • As the Mother of two young girls, it pains me very much so just think about ‘what kind of future my daughters are going to have, if we fail once again to ‘Nip this crisis in the bud’? • Definitely, I am hopeful that as a World Community, we will all be coming much closer together!! This makes me smile too! -
2020-07-08
Motherless Immigrante Through Covid-19
Before the covid-19 pandemic, I immigrated with my father to the U.S. after my mom's death. It was a fresh beginning, I was living like in a dream, exploring, and being mesmerized by how beautiful and advanced LA is. However, one day everything changed and a lockdown that was supposed to last for 2 weeks, ended up lasting more than a year. At first, it was fun. I was looking at the positive side, doing times I haven't done in a while, watching movies and shows with my dad was incredible fun. However, with time my dad started to worry because he lost his job and did not receive any type of help. He eventually find a job for the summer, but I had too much time by myself that everything I could do was miss my mom. There were days that I didn't see my dad for the entire day because he needed two jobs to be able to pay our expenses and his dad's expenses outside the country. I started to get depressed. School started again but my cheerful character and interest in school never came back. Now, I feel like I am in airplane mode all the time. -
2022-04-29
Depression during a Pandemic
The COVID-19 pandemic has been one the hardest things for me to deal with. I suffer from depression and often combat this by spending time with friends and family. Before the pandemic I would often spend my weekends with friends and visit my family after work on half of the weekdays. Throughout the pandemic, until recently it has been rather unacceptable to spend time in close contact with others. In the being of the pandemic during the first shutdowns and mandates I struggled deeply with having to stay home all the time. I became quite depressed and would often just sleep through my days off. I tried to do virtual hangouts with my friends and family, but it just wasn’t the same. I ended up planning socially distanced hangouts with my friends, often picnics/lunch in the park 6 feet apart. This really helped me because I was able to socialize with them in person. As the pandemic progressed, and I wasn’t able to see friends nearly as often as before I became more comfortable with being alone. I started to find the things I enjoyed doing on my own. I took time to really work on some of the issues I had been avoiding. I used the time I was forced to be alone in a productive way. Although the pandemic challenged my way of living, I still found a way to grow. Now that we are starting to get a better handle on the virus, life is slowly starting to return to what it was before. With the release of vaccines I have been able to start seeing my friends and family again. With the lower rate of cases a lot of the business I used to visit are reopening. As we start to return to “normal” I’ve found my new normal and I quite enjoy my alone time, just as much as the time I spend with others. -
2022-04-29
Social Drought
Social Drought is a text story about how the pandemic erased all hopes of maintaining an active social life and how I had to find ways to fulfill my need for social interaction. -
2022-04-28
COVID in my Life
I was a senior in high school when the pandemic hit. I remember right after spring break we got notice that school was over for the year. I remember that I had just gotten into my dream University and was not sure what the first year was going to look like for me at the time. Later in August, I was on my way to my new school, classes were a hybrid mix and I was able to stay in a dorm. II remember just how proud I was to be able to experience college even though it looked much different. But that meat that I would see my mom and dog a lot less. My mom is considered high risk so I didn't want to visit too often and risk her getting sick. I remember thinking that I missed them both so much and I had a big fear of losing my dog because he was getting older and I was unable to bring him with me to college. But I had a plan I was going to have my mom and dog move to my new city so we can all be close again. It was now my sophomore year of college and it was the first semester, the classes were amazing much better than the year before and I was actually for the first time getting to experience college and being in-person full time. By the second semester however I had much harder classes that I did not enjoy very much but I, of course, did my best with them. A couple of weeks later on January 19th, 2022 I got word that my childhood dog whom I have had since I was in Elementary school was not doing good and he needed to be put down. I took the first bus out and was there about three hours later. Seeing him was so hard, I remembered how he was so much smaller when I got him and now he was old and had many lumps on his body. His face still looked like a puppy because you couldn't see his white hair because he is a white dog. That was one of the hardest days of my life. I think of, Tyson every day but I know he is in a better place now not suffering, and is incredibly happy. I know we will see one another again one day. After Tyson's death I found out I had COVID and had also given it to my mom and she ended up in the hospital for a week which was incredibly hard on her. I had gotten behind in school and fell into a deep depression. It seemed like everything fell apart in my life during that time and to be honest I’ve never fully recovered from it. I know I will one day I just need to take it one day at a time. Thanks for reading. -
2022-04-25
COVID-19, Religion, and Public Life Reflection #REL101
this is a look through my point of view living in the year 2020 -
2020-03-15
COVID-19 Impact
COVID-19 took so much from me. It took people, friendships, experiences, and so much more. I have pictured a high school diploma. This represents the years I lost in high school but still pushed through and finished. I’ve lacked education from being online. I lost opportunities and experiences. I lost friends. And had scares of losing my father. Covid took so much from me and many others. -
2021-01-05
The Covid Pandemic as a Senior in Highschool
The website that I am linking describes what happened to students all over the world in March of 2020 when all students in schools and universities had to go on lockdown and switch abruptly to complete online learning. This is an important covid-19 related topic to me because I was a senior in high school during that time, and I really struggled with my mental health, academic achievements, responsibilities, body image, and just overall my whole life. This article isn't as personal as it could get, but it gives a good historical and general idea of what student experience during the pandemic was like. -
2020-03
Suffering from Anxiety
As most young adults my age, I suffer from severe anxiety. Dealing with anxiety daily, can be very challenging at times, especially during a pandemic. I have been fighting a battle with anxiety most of my life. At this point, I am really used to the extra thoughts in my head. I have learned to help manage it, but not completely get rid of it. I believe that anxiety has made me who I am, in a way, because I do not remember a time where I was not struggling. In 2020, a pandemic instantly flooded the world. This completely impacted my entire life. I was not able to experience my last year in high school, I was not able to be around the one person that helped me with my anxiety, etc. I was forced to wear a mask that I could barely breathe in. I lost touch with most of my friends that I developed over my lifetime. This instant wave of depression suddenly hit me. I was so nervous on what would happen next, and how long will this last. People were dying from this pandemic. I constantly worried about if the sickness would hurt one of my family members or someone important to me. Over the time of being in quarantine, I thought to myself ways on how I could relax and not worry so much about the pandemic. I told myself every day, “Everything happens for a reason”. This is what I truly believe and for some reason it really does calm me down. I am Catholic. I am a very deep believer in God. To me, trusting in the Lord is the best anxiety reliever around. Covid-19 is still around today. Without Covid-19, I would not be where I am today. Although this pandemic has an abundance of negative impacts on my life, it also had some positive ones, too. I would not have attended Duquesne University, met so many amazing people, and made a plethora of memories that I would not trade in for. I believe talking about my anxiety, especially during the pandemic, is very critical because I am not the only one who is suffering, too. Everyone is nervous about what is going to happen next. To me, this is HUGE on helping me with my anxiety. I can finally think to myself that I am not alone. I believe that people who suffer from anxiety, especially from the pandemic started in 2020, can have a place to go if they are nervous. When I was struggling, I felt alone, and I was the only person who felt this way. My story will allow people to realize that they are not alone. Everyone is dealing with this stress and anxiety that I suffered from. My story tells people that I have worries and doubts, too. The pandemic not only had negative impacts, but they also had positive impacts. Focusing on the positives, will distract you from the anxiety and worrying. My story should help prove that. My story should allow people to see and find new ways to cope with the stress. I hope my story leaves a positive impact on people who did or are struggling. Everyone is in this together, and nobody will be alone in this major impact on the world. -
12/09/2020
Reed Engle Oral History, 2020/12/09
C19OH -
2021-12-13
meme
This meme shows how physically distant we stayed away from people during the beginning of the pandemic, and now the effects are seen now. Us humans are meant to interact with others always, and when we were stuck in our houses for months, it affected us a lot. We see high amounts now of depression, anxiety, suicides, etc. This is important to me because I believe that mental illnesses are just as serious of a problem that we should focus on. -
2020-05-23
Abascal_Carlotta_
C19OH -
2021-07-08
Has COVID-19 Created Conflict in Your Relationship?
A blog post from Banner Health about relationships with partners and spouses during Covid-19. -
2020-07-09
Navigating Postpartum Depression During COVID-19
A blog post from Banner Health about post-partum depression during Covid-19. -
2020-04-13
Mental Health and the Covid-19 Pandemic
Uncertain prognoses, looming severe shortages of resources for testing and treatment and for protecting responders and health care providers from infection, imposition of unfamiliar public health measures that infringe on personal freedoms, large and growing financial losses, and conflicting messages from authorities are among the major stressors that undoubtedly will contribute to widespread emotional distress and increased risk for psychiatric illness associated with Covid-19. Health care providers have an important role in addressing these emotional outcomes as part of the pandemic response. -
2021-09-30
A YEAR IN LEBANON WITH COVID-19
It all started suddenly. I was visiting my family in the states during Christmas break 2019; everything was perfect life was just fine, and my vacation had to end as planned. I packed my luggage flew back to Sidon, Lebanon, where my husband was waiting for me. I got married in August 2020. I had to leave the state, settle down with my husband, and work because he did not have a green card or American visa. After a few months passed, I decided during the holiday break to visit the U.S. and apply for my husband's alien visa, which is what I did. I went back to my work in Lebanon in the American school after the Christmas break. Our school started again, but all children were sick every day; one of the children did not come at the end of January; almost all the class were absent for a long time. It was the beginning of an immense tragedy. All the news started talking about a new virus spreading fast around the world. I did not even think one percent of the virus would spread worldwide, which was only the beginning of the covid-19 pandemic. The economic situation in Lebanon was destroying every day, and many revolutions plus when covid-19 began, it started to get worst every day. We did not know what to expect my family away from me, which made me more anxious. Our school received a letter from the secretary of education all schools must shut down in two days or less, and this was the situation around the world, not only in Lebanon. By the beginning of February, all schools, government places, even private, malls almost the whole country shut down for more than six months completely. The street was like a horror movie. My life routine got missed up, and the entire planet, many people lost their lives and the people of my family as well. I was so worried about my family, praying that nothing would happen to them, especially I was away. I did not even work from home because I was only a teacher assistant nothing much left to do; even the gym closed, so I started working out at home. One day my lawyer called from the states and told me my husband's case pended because the immigration was closed till further notice, my mental health was distorted and duplicate as well my husband. Due to my husband is a refuge and has no citizen, we could not do anything about it besides waiting. Days passed by, and the situation was getting worse, and nothing was changing. August 4, 2020, we went to my family law spent the day there. Everyone likes to nap through the day, and this was what we were about to do till a one-time big explosion happened in Beruit, Lebanon Hundreds of people lost their lives the country got into a whole tragic pandemic plus outbreak. Two days later, we received an email from the U.S.CIS asking for the rest of the documents to make an interview appointment. We received another email that said my husband's interview would be on November 15. I felt that everything was going in the right direction after months of depression, especially with the covid-19 pandemic and the economic and political situation. Life in Lebanon is not safe for living anymore. There was a lockdown from nowhere; the governor used to pick random days for the lockdown as if it was a puzzle. A day before the interview, the Immigration lawyer called asking me if we received an email about canceling the interview, which I did has no idea what was going on. I was crying so hard felt like life would remain this way called the embassy emergency said, we can not help; this is an emergency for life and death. It would be best if we waited till they decided on a new interview appointment. We got into a massive fight with my husband called my family crying nonstop, telling them how much I missed them and wanted to come back home. Covid-19 is a curse destroying our dreams. I emailed the embassy hundreds of times and called the immigration office in NYC, but nothing they could do for me. I asked them why the embassy canceled my husband's interview, and the answers were like the covid lockdown. They told me you could leave Lebanon and come back without your husband. I would never leave him behind depressed. The next day I received an email that I needed to keep checking the embassy's available interview days, and this is what we kept doing. We felt like we were hopeless and had no more powers. One day at night, my husband told me to check if anything was available for December because the rest of November days are unavailable. We were lucky enough to find one on December 9, 2021. We were so worried about getting canceled again, but luckily it did not, few days passed, and the date had come he got the visa, and obviously, they did not allow me into the embassy due to covid-19. We waited a week to get his passport back. Once we received it, it booked tickets right away and flew to New York. It was the first time for us traveling during covid-19, nothing is easy PCR test is required even though no one asked for it, we wore the face mask for almost 24hours it felt like hell. We arrived safely in the states after months of struggling. We asked not to leave the house for 15 days, filled an application with our phone numbers and address. Before and after Covid-19, nothing was the same hugging my family after a long time was like heaven. For me being by their side was all I needed during these days. I pray for better days, days without covid-19. -
2021-08-14
Beware a Pandemic
As we approached our second year of the Covid-19 pandemic things like mask and disinfecting door knobs just became a norm to me. Unconciously, I wouldn't think of Covid-19 as the virus Id just live life with the existence of COVID. I am known for my obsession of believing a single cough could mean I'm at a near death so mentally I was just exhausted. After some time I began to worry about my two year old daughter, she was starting school at a special needs program which I could not wait for. I knew my daughter's progression was one of my top priorities but what about her health and well being? I couldn't help but think "What if there is COVID in the school?" I kept my company very small as I lived alone with my daughter. The only time we were exposed to other people was when she visited her dad on the weekends, but he too was very cautious. A week into my daughters schooling I finally stoped worrying and celebrated my cousin's birthday with her. A day later my cousin had called me with the news that she was COVID positive. My mind raced as I graphically remembered my daughter sharing a bite of a burger with my cousin, it was almost no doubt in my head that we were infected. I got both of us tested that very day and we were negative but I had knowledge on this infection I still held my breath as I knew I had to retest in two to three days. After three days when I planned to get tested I woke up with soreness in my eyes and a headache, I explained my pain to my boyfriend and he had said that he felt that pain too. Minutes after I got tested and I was positive my daughter was already at her dads house so I told everyone to get tested and everyone else was fine. Two weeks, fourteen days in quarantine drove me mad. I suffer from depression and something about being completely alone triggered me. I could not eat my symptoms continued to change. I lost my taste and my sense of smell. I couldn't walk or stand for too long but honestly my common cold from a month back felt worst than this. The mental and emotional aspect of this situation is what really hurt me. I was so alone and worried I missed my child and her dad had to take off work for a week. I barely had any money and I just felt like I couldn't reach any type of human interaction even with my electronics it wasn't the same. On my tenth day of COVID I went to retest and I was negative. The after mass of Covid took a toll on me. I lost 16 pounds and I already had issues with my weight personally. My stomach felt faint and empty for weeks after the virus was gone and I felt like I did not want to go anywhere. I decided to still quarantine for the full fourteen days just to be safe and rest. My daughter's school (which she wasn't attending due to not being home) called and said someone tested positive and that school would be closed for two weeks. My mom whom I haven't seen in weeks also called on the tenth day to tell me that she had a fever and went to get tested, another positive. I felt trapped almost as if I couldn't breathe. Getting back into the real world without seeming like a hypochondriac was so tough but just like the virus things change and I was over my anxiety. All that's left now is to worry about the long term effects... Who knows what the future might hold. -
2021-08-30
my experience with mental health in quarantine
the drawing is a representation of how my mental state has deteriorated and I lost the confidence, ability to socialize well, and my worsening depression. -
2021-08-28
A year and a half (and counting) in my room
Before hell happened I had never exactly been much for being outside, I live in Texas what do you expect? I spent most of my days inside and only ever went out for 1.5 social events a week and weekly classes. Then things started to go bad. Suddenly I had no reason to ever go outside, suddenly I was alone in my room, surrounded by mess and with only the light from my lamp and monitors. I actually started to take more walks because of the pandemic, I just had to get outside, I had to move at all, I had to do something. The human brain is not well equipped for quite this level of repetition, day in day our in the same environment doing the same thing, checking the same few websites to see how bad things have gotten for those still brave enough stupid enough or desperate enough to be out in the world, to see the hell that the world became when everything changed. It is an experience that does not do well for motivation or mental health. I stopped really caring about school, I spent most of my days thoughtlessly doing the same thing and thinking, always fucking thinking about the state of the world and my own life and my own meaningless existence and I just couldn't... I couldn't stop thinking, thinking that my life had no meaning and I was worthless to all those around me and I was alone. Apparently, the human brain is not equipped for quite this level of repetition. It's quite a wonder I'm even stable now, considering the things I went through over this hellish year and a half, but here I am an, my life means nothing and I'm fine with that because life is beautiful, even if people are irresponsible and hateful it isn't their fault, it's the fault of the very people who let this get out of hand in the first place. I was able to finally see that, and I kept realizing it over and over and over and over again, and I'm still realizing it today. The real point is that we are not separated by race or religion or sexuality or gender identity or anything like that, we are all just people, and we need to help each other. The human brain is not well equipped for quite this level of repetition but that's only if we're alone. -
0020-05-07
The Life of Sydney Harris
My mental health had a lot of time to be at peace for a while and learn about myself. My anxiety felt calm and my depression was almost lost. Depression is a life long issue but without school I was the happiest and freest I had been in a long time. -
2021-07-08
COVID-19-related suicide
In Peru the pandemic is broiling, things are far from slowing down. Patients with COVID may go to the hospital only to find out that there are not enough ventilators or oxygen to go around. This story by the AP press describes a story of a COVID-related suicide. Although this topic is not widely covered in the U.S. media, it is a consistent storyline in Peru. [CN] I selected anonymous, but I didn't mean to, please curate as normal and add this to a curatorial note KKdP 07/19/2021 -
2020-09-30
No Room for Activities
I am not overly social. Therefore, the COVID-19 pandemic’s stay-at-home orders were not a big deal to me. However, the mandate meant no after-school activities for my kids who had a very hard time with it. My ten-year-old son took it the hardest as it meant no soccer, no chess, and no playdates which also meant no touching, no tag, and absolutely no wrestling. After classes, I would pick them up and chauffeur the kids around town to all their activities. If we had time we would sometimes stop by the mall and grab a bite to eat. If we had an hour to kill, we would run into the arcade for a quick game or two of Mario Kart. But all that stopped once COVID struck. There was no room for the kids’ activities—no sports, no music lessons, no mall eateries, no more Sbarro on the run, no arcade—so in essence, no more fun. Due to COVID constraints, my boy developed a small case of depression from not being able to play with his friends and soccer buddies. Seeing my son miserable affected me, especially after reading some children were committing suicide due to these restrictions. I forgot just how much bonding with friends and socializing meant when you are ten and surrounded by thirty other kids for five days a week. While the pandemic gave parents like me a respite from all their children’s after-school extracurriculars, it was not worth seeing my son sad like that, and socializing was not the only aspect affected. My kids really missed getting their hands-on activities with other kids at the playground and soccer field. Kids simply love playing anywhere and touching everything, so not being able to do so hampers their growth through play and touch. Soccer was an outlet for all my son’s pent-up energy and once it and the other sessions were taken away, he felt trapped at home. We would play in the backyard, but it was not the same for him. Although he may complain about school now, he still needs his friends. Luckily, the pandemic is over, and soccer and their clubs are all back on. My son is back to his normal rambunctious self again. My children are back to being full-time kids again! -
2020-11-24
Human–dog relationships during the COVID-19 pandemic
A study done in Israel looks at the relationship between humans and dogs during the pandemic. The study finds that, like in the United States, there was a significant increase in dog adoptions in Israel during the pandemic. They also found a direct correlation between the mental health of the owner and the perceived quality of the life of the dog. -
2019
Men In The Mirror
These are all doodles I made during the pandemic when I felt myself crashing, self-sabotaging, or just critical condition emotionally. The drawing on the left is the most recent drawing I made. It shows that I have a heart that is depressed and a mind that is rotting away with a confused face. In the background, you also see the word help radiate from me. This symbolizes how I feel about my education. I feel like, during the pandemic, I'm not able to bounce ideas back and forth on my own, so being alone, I get lost and overcrowded. The one on the top right also expresses my view of myself. It shows that I have a bright flame that either gets drowned with depression or fueled with anger. This relates to the pandemic because when everything got shut down, I Felt very divided with what I was doing and who I was. Lastly, the bottom right picture shows me at a table looking at my hands with a bowl of fruit and pills. This was drawn about halfway through my fall 2020 semester because I have focused on medication. Still, they made me also feel emotionless and more confused about my own personal identity and where my heart was with my art if I can't express it. After this drawing, I became numb and ended up not doing most of my finals and leaving me empty for a while during winter break. The only thing that got me out was seeing my family again after seven months of not really seeing anyone close to me. I also stopped taking meds and had a withdrawal effect at the begging of my spring semester. Now I'm just trying to keep my head up to return to normalcy and see my friends that closely monitored me before knowing how I get affected by certain things. -
2020-07-10
Emotional Dam and Educational Fall out
This shows that before the pandemic, I struggled to get the help I needed to deal with my stress, and the minute everything got shut down, so did I. I ended up not knowing what to do and failed my classes and explained to my family that I've had depression and anxiety issues. Im currently still trying to recover, and it truly feels like my college doesn't care because they take forever to respond, knowing I'm in danger of failing and having some personal struggles. -
2021-04-14
Reconsidering Taking the Vaccine
I live in Bronx, New York. When the pandemic struck, it affected everyone tremendously whether you contracted the virus or not. New York is a densely populated place and it immediately required a shut down of all day to day activities due to the soaring virus. It was so impactful that my school had to be closed and I could not go out with my friends on the weekends anymore due to the fact that all business places were closed. Many people in New York contracted the virus which at one point had the highest Coronavirus cases. It made my family and I very depressed to be stuck at home all day and worrying if anyone of us would be the next person to be personally affected by the virus. During the pandemic, which is still current, the introduction of the vaccine made me feel very relieved. Even though it is not a cure for the virus but it would help to fight the virus if you do contract it, and it also lessens the likeliness that it is contracted. This was such good news to my ears. When I found out that there were different types of the vaccines I was very skeptical about it because I wondered to myself about the different component that each might have. Following this, there was word that the Johnson and Johnson vaccine was causing bloodclots. This made me extremely scared to take any of the vaccines overall even though I want to be secured from the virus but I worry that the vaccine would not agree well with my body. This was a mental battle within my family if we want to take the vaccine or not. -
2021-04-23
COVID-19 pandemic
It has been a tough year for everyone, the impact of COVID 19 changed our lives forever. As people across the world practice social distancing to help slow the spread of COVID-19, many things have changed. In one way or another, we have all been touched by this pandemic, whether that means working from home or transitioning to online classes. Personally, I felt like the pandemic was going to be my downfall when it came to school. I have always struggled to stay focused and concentrate on different tasks. Having to transition from in person classes to complete remote learning scared me. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to continue with my education. As weeks went by, having to be isolated from the world and it just being me and my computer was very difficult. I suffered from depression and anxiety but I didn't want to give up. Education has always been important to me but it was really affecting my health. With pandemic getting worse and having more restrictions it felt like I was trapped. Usually when I feel that way the only thing that would give me peace was going to church. That wasn't an option anymore. Due to everything being closed I couldn't even go to the one place where I would feel safe and at peace. This pandemic taught me to be strong, and even in the hardest moment have faith. Have faith that everything gets better, and that we are capable of more than we think. Even though I had some tough times in school now I'm doing a lot better and I'm proud of myself for overcoming those obstacles. I'm now more appreciative of things that I took for granted before the pandemic. Even the little things, like being able to go to church. Overall, the pandemic taught me many things about myself. I am stronger and happier than I was before. -
2020-06-08
A Balancing Act on Fire
Although the meme is meant to be comedic, I feel that it reflects the reality of the stressors many people faced during the pandemic. To begin, the anxiety that the coronavirus disease brought into the public severely affected the mental health of many individuals across the globe. During the mandated lockdowns, I , like many others around me, began experiencing a decline in my happy hormones. At the time the pandemic restrictions were being put into place, I was living on campus with three other roommates. With the fear of spreading the disease unintentionally, the three moved out of the dorm right away and I was left to be on my own due to personal housing issues taking place at the time. The lack of interaction with anyone took a toll on my mental health. I missed my friends and my mom, I just wanted to be around someone, but we could only have visitors if they were helping us move out. On top of personal mental health struggles, events taking place across the country were also scarring. Protests in response to racial injustice under an administration that made it hard to feel safe unless you were a white male in America only added to the helpless state of being. Watching cases upon cases of unjustifiable abuse made the environment only more threatening than it initially seemed when the pandemic was first reported. The election of November 2020 was suspenseful in terms of who would be elected could potentially determine vital living situations for people all across the United States, whether it be immigrant status, being a person of color, or not being able to afford paying for housing in general. Financial troubles took over the country and the stimulus checks were not enough to cover housing, food, home essentials, especially when some dependents and entire families were not able to receive help because of their citizenship or dependent status. Many tried to turn towards their faith, the keyword being “tried.” Although not all religions focus on gatherings or physical objects, many people were unable to get access to these common preferred forms of practice and felt that virtual gatherings seemed ingenuine or illegitimate. Overall, the COVID-19 pandemic had many more severe effects on a global scale in all aspects of life. From concerns of the health of others, oneself, finances, practice of faith, and fear of safety in your own home, the negative effects are consistent as it seems that everything continues to pose a threat to daily living. I hope that everything eventually falls back into place and that justice is put in place so that people do not have to fear their own existence. -
2021-04-22
How Covid-19 has Affected My Life - Kyra Smith
The Submission that I uploaded is a reflection on how the pandemic affected my life. What I shared in this story is personal, and might seem choppy because I do not do well when expressing personal stories and feelings to others. I hope this helps someone to know that they are not alone. -
2021-03-31
Mohammed Husain Oral History, 2021/03/31
This interview speaks about a teenager, Mohammed Husain, who has described her life through the course of the pandemic including how she has felt what she had experienced including some losses, things that have changed and ways she has coped. The set of questions provided are descriptive and offer directed questions that allow the interviewee to answer them thoroughly. Mohammed speaks about how she felt lonely during the pandemic. She describes things she has missed such as shopping going out with friends and effects on her mental health. She has also spoke about the limitations and how they have made her enjoy her own presence and made her evolve into a person who enjoys her own presence. She lists some positive aspects of the pandemic including closer relationships with family members along with a time to reflect on her own self. She has included that she has taken advantage of the time of the pandemic to really look back on her life and understand the moment as not everyone in their lifetime gets to live through such a scene. -
2021-01-27
The Unspoken Pandemic - Mental Anguish
This article tells about youth depression and suicide rates in the United States and how they have been affected by the COVID-19 pandemic. Children and teenagers, who are normally bright-eyed, idealistic, and sometimes too socially adept for their own good, are developing mental afflictions like depression and suicidal ideation, using drugs and alcohol as coping mechanisms, and generally suffering from all sorts of silent illnesses because of lockdown policies that have deprived them of the activities that keep them busy. When a kid has a busy life, friends at school, activities they enjoy, and various tasks to perform in order to keep their minds occupied, they turn out to be a well-balanced, healthy adult later in life. However, when every single one of these things is abruptly stripped from and the only type of structured activity they have is getting on the computer every day for “Zoom school” (which, by what I have been told by teenagers currently experiencing it, is a poorly-planned waste of time put on for show), the affect on that child’s mental health can be catastrophic. The overdramatic teenage mind will tend to think that this period is going to last “forever,” leading to a downward spiral of emotional despair and existential nihilism. Furthermore, the financial strain that the pandemic has put on these kids’ parents surely plays into this as well, making the child feel like a burden since they have to sit at home all day and watch their parents worry about the family’s financial situation. While high-income individuals with significant savings got to have lots of fun on their cute little house-camping quarantine adventure, low-income and middle-class households, the ones with the most children, had to suffer and pay a serious price for something the government decided they would do. This general phenomenon of depression, financial worries, nihilism, drug abuse, and suicide is a direct result of government lockdowns, and brings to light a shining concept that rings true for all things legislative and bureaucratic; there will always be an unintended consequence of any blanket action like these lockdowns. Perhaps they should be considered before our so-called “representatives” just do stuff without considering the wants, needs, and condition of the people that they supposedly serve. -
2021-04-05
Online Article: Law enforcement officers need to be proactive in self-care to ensure they are resilient in the midst of loss and trauma
This article discusses guidance for law enforcement professionals to adopt better self-care practices through this pandemic and the increased volume of vicarious trauma, depression, anxiety, and suffering prevalent in our societies. The author specifically addresses the problem of police suicide, which is often committed at similar rates to military combat veterans. While the article's content helps officers potentially deal with the difficulties of their calling, it might also help the public better recognize the darker and unwelcome realities of police work. -
2021-03-28
Vaccinated
I know the LGBTQ+ Community has a higher chance to have depression, anxiety, and other health ailments like many other minority communities. This Friday I got my second dose of the vaccine. I have been encouraging others in my LGBTQ+ Community to get the vaccine so this is one less health ailment they have to worry about. -
2021-02
The Covid-19 Struggles and Success of a Full-Time Student
This is a short interview that I worked on for my college course this semester all about Digital Storytelling. I interview a close friend of mine who has experienced the pandemic for a full year as a full time student and the transition from in-person to online classes. We also touch on other personal challenges that he faced and he discusses how he was able to succeed still as a full time student and now employee, a year later. -
2020-02-19
#JOTPYPhoto from Coli
My depressing room is basically me during COVID 19 #JOTPYPhoto #jotpyphoto -
2021-02-27
Anonymous Oral History, 2021/02/27
An anonymous Bronx mother tells the story of her two daughters’ mental health challenges during the pandemic. First, her 21 year old daughter had a Covid-related panic attack in May 2020 that required 4 weeks of hospitalization. This daughter was on the road to recovery when her 24 year old daughter fell into a severe depression in August. The mother describes how this situation affected her entire family and how both daughters returned to mental health even though the pandemic hasn’t ended yet. -
2020-03-18
Covid in Jax
Covid took away the freedom to hangout with friends. -
2020-08-22
The Difficulties of a College Student During a Pandemic
During the start of the school semester of spring 2020, talks of a very contagious illness stated to spread. Most students on campus believed COVID-19 to be a threat nut one month later, all colleges across the world shut down. While moving out, my friend's dad said we would be back that same semester. I believed him until infection rates increased across the United States. States started to shut down including the one I lived in. Restrictions, isolation, and guidelines were enforced to ensure public safety. Instead, thousands of people went into depression including me. Not being able to leave my house during the pandemic was difficult. Not only was I hundreds of miles away from my friends at school, but I couldn't see my friends at home too. My experience with online class didn't make interacting with people any easier. Most of my classes didn't require the camera to be on, while the other class didn't even meet online. This was very difficult for me because I was used to being around friends everyday. I started to become depressed as I spent 2 months without interacting with anyone but my family and my teacher. Fortunately, restrictions eased up as the spring semester came to a close. I was able to get a job at a donation center for the summer. I still wasn't allowed to see my friends which made for a disappointing summer but working helped the time go by. When it was time to go back to college, I was relieved. My college was fortunate enough to have students on campus for the fall 2020 semester. I was overly excited to see any friends after months. I counted down the days until we moved in. But I knew the semester would be different. When arriving on campus, I learned that several rules and regulations were implemented to "keep the community safe." Some of these included no visiting anyones dorm room, scheduling when to eat, certain doors were entrances while others were exits, no guests from off campus, must wear a green bracelet at all times, must get randomly tested, etc. I made sure to read the rules and regulations but unfortunately, my roommates didn't. The very first night on campus, my roommates decided to have friends over. I told my roommates that it wasn't allowed but it did not matter. The guests stayed until there was banging at the door. The Resident Assistant working that night wrote us up, and we had to meet with the Dean. While meeting with the Dean, I explained how it was not my fault and I was against having guests over, but I was charged with a $200 fine. Completely upset, I change all my classes to online classes and moved back home. I did not trust my roommates enough to stay. The last thing I wanted was several fines that weren't my fault. When I got home, I was really depressed. I was the only one home out of all my friends and I was back to remote learning. I couldn't see anyone while home and I felt betrayed by my roommates. I felt like my life was crumbling as another semester of my college experience was being wasted. This caused me to have a mental breakdown, and lose all motivation to do work. Four months passed by slowly and I escaped the semester with mediocre grades and a crippling mind. Fortunately, my parents noticed I was not in the best shape of mind. They had me see a therapist and find new activities to do during the pandemic. This got me back on my feet and my friends from home started returning from school. The gap between semesters when well and I was joyful again. However, it was time to decide if I wanted to return to campus for the 2021 Spring Semester. I was torn because some of my friends were staying home that semester and I still did not trust my roommates. I thought rationally and contacted them to see our their semester went. To my surprise, they received 4 fines and one of them had to quarantine. This gave me reassurance that I made the right choice on leaving campus during the fall semester. Currently I am taking the 2021 Spring Semester all remotely and I am happy. I am seeing friends and have synchronous classes. I am confident that I will keep seeing my friends at home and keep a good mindset throughout the semester. I wish for everyone to stay strong during the pandemic and seek help if you're depressed. -
2020-03-11
Mental Health during the Pandemic
On March 11th, 2020, my life changed drastically. Just over a month into my second semester of my freshman year at Duquesne University, I was excited to keep making memories with people who became like a second family to me. However, news of a virus on the other side of the world was spreading quickly. We never thought that it would come to this country or affect us in the slightest. But on this day, the entire student body received an email that would absolutely crush me: the email from the president of the University telling us that we would need to leave. When I received this news, I do not know which I was more scared of, this mysterious virus or not being able to see my new friends for a long time. At this point, I did not know how the virus was going to affect me. I had absolutely no idea how much tragedy was about to spread throughout the country. All I knew was that the high of being a college student, with independence and a new group of amazing people was being ripped away from me like a snap of the fingers. As soon as I got home, all I did was complain to my parents that I wished I was at school. Each time I did this, I would end up feeling terrible, because I knew that people were suffering. However, even though I knew I shouldn’t, I felt like I was suffering too. My entire life, I was raised as an only child. As a kid and in high school, I had an amazing group of friends that I still talk to today. When I went to college, I started spending every waking moment with my new group of friends, whether it be doing homework, watching movies, etc. I knew I wasn’t going to be with them year-round, but I knew that I was not ready to leave them in the middle of March. After all, the semester wasn’t even over yet. Spending the rest of my semester at home was extremely difficult for me. I felt so lonely, even though my friends were just a phone call or text away. However, every time I communicated with them, I somehow felt further away from them. It was a constant reminder that I should be with them, but I could not be. Throughout the last months of the semester and into the summer, my mental health rapidly. I knew I was experiencing a small form of depression, but I did not want to admit it to anyone because there were people in the world that were suffering more as a result of the virus. I soon found some form of comfort when I realized that other teenagers and first-year college students were going through the same thing as me. So many people were taken away from the people and places that they loved most, and everyone was having a hard time coping. The coronavirus has put the entire world through a lot, but each day I have hope that the end is near, and that we will all be reunited with the world we used to know. -
2021-01-07
As the pandemic puts strain on LGBTQ youth mental health, here's some advice
A news article discussing the mental struggles of the LGBTQ+ youth, and how quarantine is negatively affecting their health, as well as some helpful tips. -
2021-02-01
Covid-19 Statistics
Over the pandemic, I've learned a lot of things about people and the world. The pandemic was a lonely time, but I think it's made me realize that you can't give up just because things get hard. I've heard a lot of teens and people my age became depressed instantaneously. Especially on social media, everyday people were only talking about how bad things have gotten instead of trying to keep their spirits up. 26.2 million people have gotten the virus, and 440K people have died, but all of us had to find a way to be happy. In our city(LA) especially, we have higher covid cases than any other place in the county. Even though things are hard now there still are a lot of exciting things to think about. -
2021-01-31
Idk
it’s been hard not able to go out, and trying to cope with school it feels like I have lost myself. -
2021-01-26
Pandemic Kindness
The pandemic has caused so much death, destruction, and sadness. I wanted to share something positive that has happened to me during this difficult event. While this begins in tragedy, I promise it turns around... My service dog passed away suddenly from cancer one month after his first birthday. It was April and the virus was spreading rapidly so there were new restrictions being imposed everywhere. I had to go through the process of my dog passing away all on my own and my dog had to spend a lot of the time alone in a cage in the vet's office while I was forced to wait in my car. My mind was plagued with thoughts of my dog long after he had passed. I could no longer ride in my car that I had spent so much of my dog's last hours in. Everything was closed because of the pandemic so I was forced to stay at home and everything in my house reminded me of my dog. I became very depressed and barely came out of my room. I forced myself to get up and get a blanket from the living room and I saw a rock on the table near my daughter's crafts. I don't know what it was, but I just decided to paint one. One had a triangular shape and I turned it into a shark head because it reminded me of a shark tooth. I had never drawn or painted prior to this but I was proud of my work and, at the end of it all, I realized that I had spent hours in my living room! I decided to get up the next day and paint another rock. I did this for a week and once I gathered a small pile, I put a few in my pocket and went for a walk, dropping painted rocks in random places along the way. The rocks had made me so happy at one of the darkest moments of my life and I wanted to spread that feeling to others. The whole thing really taught me how something really small can make a big difference. Painting rocks has helped keep me connected with others during the pandemic. I've found communities of rock artists and we share ideas with one another. I've also discovered I have a talent for drawing and painting and have recently begun taking commissioned art requests. I still make sure to paint plenty of "freebies" and I leave them everywhere from gas pumps to hidden in trees. I am so grateful to be able to spread even a little bit of kindness during this difficult time. -
2021-01-24
Surge of Student Suicides Pushes Las Vegas Schools to Reopen
This is my worst fear for my students. All of us are on high alert for our students right now. The feeling of hopelessness is overwhelming our children. The next town over a child ended their life a few months ago. At the school board meetings, the children are saying that they feel desperate. I had a student who would put on a 72 hour hold for attempting to take her life before Christmas. I worry about my own pre-teen who is the most adaptive child I know, but he is missing his friends and his whole world has changed. I know my district is worried for the wellbeing of our kids. They want to open now, even if the numbers are high and even if we are not vaccinated yet. Anything to get these kids back into the classroom. The thing is suicide and depression are nothing new with kids. We know this. But now, I do not greet them at the door every morning, I do not see if they fall asleep in class every day, I can't stop them on their way out and ask if they are ok because I noticed a change in their body language. That ability saved kids before and now teachers cannot use that superpower to catch the kids when they fall. I worry that I will receive an e-mail telling me that one of our students did not make it through. That is my biggest fear right now. -
2020-10-16
Maternal mental health and coping during the COVID-19 lockdown in the UK: Data from the COVID-19 New Mum Study
This study demonstrates the interest of medical professionals in the UK towards the mental wellbeing of new mothers being impacted by pandemic-related lockdown. Various descriptors were used in the survey to assess emotion, feelings, states of being, and how the new mothers could cope with these changes as they specifically relate to the COVID-19 experience and mental health. -
2021-01-07
Covid-19
My first memory of Covid-19 was in late December of 2019. I was sitting on my couch watching TV when I heard my dad in the other room talking to my mom about how the new "coronavirus" desiese was getting worse in China. I was shocked at first about what he was talking about, so I went into the next room to ask him what was going on. He explained to me how there was an epidemic going on in China, and how some people have died. It all seemed very new and since it was all the way in China I wasn't very concerned with it other than thinking that it must be scary for residents of China. Fast forward a few weeks when we get back to school, lots of kids in the hallways were making jokes about the disease that was spreading, and were saying things like, "Don't forget to use hand sanitizer cuz of corona." Up until mid march the jokes kept on running, and the epidemic in China became more and more of a big deal. Until the night before march 14, 2020 everything was still a joke, and the rumor of us doing online school from home was still a running joke. But on the night of march 13 we all got an email telling us that we'd be doing virtual school from home for the next two weeks. The following Monday we started online school, and we all thought it would just be for two weeks. I was up in my room all day, and we only got short breaks in between classes. The first week everyone seemed to enjoy it was we had to use zoom calls for our class periods. The second week of school everyone including myself started not liking the idea of virtual school as much. Even though we got to sleep in later, people were sick of sitting at a desk almost all day long. Soon enough they extended our time we would be doing school from home because of a pandemic for longer. The coronavirus had spread to the U.S. and most people rarely left the house except to go to the grocery store because everything was closed. Whenever my mom or dad would go to the store they would wear a mask and gloves to make sure they didn't catch any germs. Lots of other people did the same. By this time almost the entire country was in lockdown. It had grown into a full-blown pandemic; other countries like Italy we also bombarded with the panic of Covid-19. Everything was a complete disaster just by mid-april. I had no idea when we would be going back to school, or when things would return to normal. I still don't as a matter of fact. by this time I thought we'd go back in may, but we didn't. In the first couple weeks of may, just a few days before my 13th birthday, everyone at this point hated online school, it was dreaded by children across the country. This gradually got worse and worse, teenagers' mental heath was tanking by a landslide. Quarantine was now taking over my life completely. Most days I would sit in my room the entire day even on weekends since we couldn't go anywhere. Throughout June was probably the worst moth for my metal heath, and I think many others would agree. Saying we were bored would be an understatement; I wasn't depressed much like a quite a few of my other friends ,as far as I'm concerned, but it felt like all of our happiness and livelihood had been taken from us since what we started lockdown. Soon after, in July things started to open up again, the cases for covid-19 were getting lower(which was good), and people basically assumed quarantine was over. The nest month since things were opening up previously we all thought we would go back to school, but a few days before school was supposed to start we were informed that we wouldn't be going back, and we had to continue with online school. I was extremely disappointed, and I thought hopefully we'd go back by at least October. The following months through Christmas break we stayed in online school, and almost nothing happened. I spent my days the exact same as the day before I would sit in my room do school and then look on my phone or listen to music(mostly One Direction, The Beatles, and 80's music). My life became dark, boring, and quiet. By this time everyone was so fed up with quarantine, since we had been in lockdown for the past 9 months. Even Christmas felt different this year; usually I'm super excited and this year I almost didn't even care about the holiday's and I can't explain why. I'm currently writing this on January 7, 2021 at 9:05 pm. We've luckily gone back to school yesterday for the first time in ten months. There are plenty of safety precautions to make sure none of us get sick like: wearing a mask, social distancing( staying 6 feet away from people), and there are even certain ways to we have to walk around hallways and the campus to keep us in order. I can already feel a change in myself since we went back yesterday. It already feels like things are getting better now that we don't have to do virtual school with zoom calls for classes. I'm also really glad I get to see my friends, and hopefully make some new ones. If there's anything I've learned from being a part of the current pandemic it's that you can't give up or give in to other things going on with the world or even within your own life. No matter how tuff things you have to remember who you are and what you want to be. If anyone in the distant future is reading this I want them to know that, and how lucky they are to be apart of something as wonderful as life can be. I found myself more often than never longing for the past hoping for answers, only to find out the past is inside all of us, and even when the hardships of reality kick in you have to remember how amazing it is to get to experience something as rare and beautiful as life is. So don't take things for granted and appreciate every moment because you'll never know when something as mind-boggling as a world-wide pandemic will happen to you. Long story short never give up on your hopes and fantasies; it might just be the thing you'll need the most. -
2020-12-18
Overall lIfe
During this pandemic I got really bad anxiety and depression. I ended up getting 2 gerbils and a cat. I needed to snuggle with them and make myself feel better. The world is so scary still. Everything is getting shut down again, even schools. We are not allowed to leave our house, when we do we have to wear a mask. Grocery stores are almost always empty. Also people feel like they need 20 packs of toilet paper, so getting that is hard. This is important to me because the next generations need to know what happened. History repeats itself, so the next time this happens, they need to know that we can get through this. You are stronger than you think you are <3