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emotional
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2022-10-31
Reflecting on COVID19 as a student who started and ended her degree in the midst of the global pandemic. (HIST30060)
I’ve selected 5 different photos which give a little insight into being a tertiary student during the COVID19 pandemic. I started my Bachelor of Art degree in March of 2020, fresh out of high school. I was so incredibly excited and had a great first few weeks (I think one or two) and O-Week. I was lucky enough to go on a first year Arts student camp in February, where I made a handful of friends that I am still close with today; it was this small social interaction that really served as the bulk of my Uni social life for my degree because ‘going online’ severely stunted my ability to connect with new people. In the screenshot of a Zoom conference call, I am having a zoom call with some of the people I meet on this camp, a kind of ‘reunion’ during the first lockdown in 2020. Reflecting on some of the other limitations on the social life of a young student who is very social, I have included a screenshot of an Instagram post I did in April of 2020. It was my 19th birthday, and my ‘obligatory’ birthday post for the year looked a lot different to other years. Rather than being out celebrating with friends in real life, we did a group zoom call where we sang Happy Birthday and my friends watched me cut my cake through a screen. Some people got dressed up, donning dresses and a full face of makeup, to just wash it off when you clicked the camera off for the night. It was lovely to connect but looking back at these pictures now just leaves me with a strange, eerie feeling. I have included a picture of my university set up, a table in our garden and my dog, Margot. I found it really hard to study in my house all the time, so I would often try to move around to different study zones in my house. I really focused on my study during lockdown, it felt like it was a productive use of time and something I could channel my thinking into. However, thinking so much about University, and always having it in my home (it was not like I was moving between a ‘home space’ and a ‘study space’) was really tiring and draining. Every day just felt the same. I have decided to take a gap year next year rather than moving straight into post-graduate study because I don’t want to feel that same kind of burn-out again. Finally, I have two pictures which encapsulate some pass times during lockdown. One is my sister painting my bedroom walls; we did a lot of home improvement and beautification, giving ourselves little tasks and jobs that we could complete and feel satisfied with. The other picture is my sister and dog on the beach during a winter’s eve walk. I included this picture because her mask is visible. This picture was taken when there were restrictions about the quantity of family members you could walk with, the time you could leave your house, the necessity of wearing a mask and how far you could go from home. When this picture was taken, we had a curfew in place in Victoria (I think you had to be home before 10pm), you could only walk with household members, but only in groups of two at a time, you could not go further than 5km away from your home and you had to wear a face mask even when just walking your dog to a quiet beach. Reflecting on these harsh rules and the feelings I had at the time makes me feel quite sad as I feel like I missed out on so many experiences that I was promised with my university degree. My experience as a Bachelor student was so far from what it should have been; so while I am extremely proud to be graduating in a few weeks, proud that I loved what I studied, felt empowered by what I learnt and feel like my academic skills have improved so much, I feel sad that I missed out on social connection, a sense of belonging to a school community, meeting people who are outside my regular circles, experiences with clubs and teams, not being able to use campus facilities and spaces. I am so lucky that I was extremely privileged in the lockdown, my family was all healthy, safe, we had minimal arguments, and they made me smile despite the circumstances; my friends were beyond wonderful, and I had a safe place to live and access to my university and learning online. But when I think back to the lockdowns and the impact of them, I still can’t help but get emotional. More than anything, I always find myself shocked about what we all went through and how unique it was. -
2020-03-01
The Hardest Year Yet.
March 2020 A week before the world shut down, I was enjoying spring break in the Bahamas still joking about covid 19. By the next Friday, I was preparing for the worst year of my life, and I did not know it yet. In two weeks, I lost the rest of senior year, prom, graduation, my stepmom was diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disorder which made it impossible to visit my dad, faced the fear of my mom working with covid every day despite having an autoimmune disorder herself. I could have never predicted that my entire life would fall apart so quickly. I was mad that I ever took it for granted. I dreamed my entire life what my graduation night would look like, and I never pictured graduating in our local drive-in movie theater. I carried the guilt every day of not wanting to go out or choosing to do something else instead of seeing my dad. I wished I could go back and take any opportunity given to me. At this point, I still had hope that the nightmare would end by Easter of that year, but it seemed like it would go on forever. I was scared. I was scared that my mom would catch covid and not be able to fight it. I was scared my stepmom would not get better. Everything was so unknown I found myself fearing the future. I spent months doing absolutely nothing every single day. I was so upset I could not even bring myself to get out of bed to eat. All I wanted to do was sleep. I could not get more bad news if I was asleep. Every morning I woke up I felt like there was just more bad news and I honestly did not want to know what it was anymore. Waking up every day to more life-altering news with no end in sight was exhausting. I now believe that this has forever changed my life in both ways. I do not take things for granted anymore because I quickly learned how quickly they can be taken away. I have learned to always look for the light at the end of the tunnel because even if it feels like it will never end it will. The most important thing I learned was that life is like a wave, there are highs and lows, but you need to learn how to rise again. I have included a picture of the walking trail in my area. This trail was an escape from the scares of the world. I would often take long walks on this trail to calm the anxieties of the future. It was a chance to leave the house and almost forget what was happening in the world. -
2021-10-15
Tense and Tempestuous Tones
In the year 2020, I was a medical assistant working for a cancer surgery clinic. The pandemic posed huge challenges for people working in healthcare and created new staggering standards for cleanliness and infection control. With limited personal protective equipment and cleaning supplies, it made everyday clinic operations very challenging. With cancer patients, most of whom were undergoing treatments that lowered their immune system, and many of whom had just had surgery which can increase risk of infection, medical staff took COVID safety precautions very seriously. Dealing with people battling illness can be challenging under normal circumstances because they are often feeling emotional and scared, but during COVID, tensions were running even higher. I will never forget patients using condescending, edgy, and outright angry tones with me when I would call for a COVID symptom screening prior to their appointment, inform them that they had to wear a mask at all times while in the clinic, or that they were unable to bring a family member to the exam room during a follow-up appointment with a doctor. Over the phone and in person, many patients used tense and tempestuous tones to take out their anger over a situation none of us had any control over. Often, there were political connotations to any discussion of clinic COVID policy, which was unusual in a conversation about infection control. Many patients would protest getting their temperature taken or question the accuracy of their oximetry reading (a started part of vitals even before the pandemic). It was always a relief to have a patient who took a dignified breath and calmly understood that the rules were in place for everyone's safety and were an inconvenience to all involved. There were several days where I would go off to an empty exam room during my lunch break and cry. Tension during the first year of the COVID pandemic was audible. -
2021-07-27
The years of struggle!
In 2018 I had to face a lot of emotional traumas in my life. These traumas made me a single mother of my 3 children. I was having a hard time adjusting to being the sole provider and the only person my kids could now rely on. I had never been to fond of school but with my new life I had been contemplating going back. After a lot of support of my family I decided that it would be best for me and my kids if I went back to school. I joined an Associates degree course for Social work and human services. I felt like I was thriving in school for the first time. Then the pandemic hit and my world changed again. Now I had all my classes online as well as homeschooling and raising 3 children on my own. At times I felt like the universe was truly against me these last few years. At the end I have just realized that nothing is to hard for me to overcome. I'm so grateful for mine and my families health at the end of this pandemic and I'm grateful for experiences and lessons learned. -
2021-01-04
1 Person, 1 Brain Full Of Negativity
The pandemic made my thoughts turn into this negativity and the thought of being alone scattered through my mind. It really felt like my anxiety and the pandemic worked together in a way to make me feel horrible and scared. -
2020-12-16
Finding out our Season was Cancelled
All of these photos were taken after our last game of the trip along with the last of our season. We found out our season was cancelled the day before and our coaches planned all of this in a day. Also two of our coaches who stayed in Boston flew all the way down to Florida to watch our last day of games and experience it all with us. It was crazy and overwhelming. The game before the last one got cut short because the other team’s coach got a call from their school saying they need to come back immediately because of Covid. This is when we knew it was real and it was over for real. It was a lot of sadness and the seniors did not want to go out like that. Every single senior athlete went through this same thing at every college and high school, all around the country. These photos give the viewer a personal aspect of Suffolk softball and how we dealt with it along with some words that our coach wrote in one of the Instagam posts. It allows historians to look back at how the pandemic affected athletes and maybe compare Suffolk softball to other schools and look at the timeline of before, finding out, and during the pandemic. These images are important to this archive because it is directly related with what is going on today and if people wanted to learn about this then there should be some sort of information on it because there are very little personal stories about athletics. -
2020-12-08
Most Memorable Curations
As I have learned to curate for the Journal of the Plague Year Archive this semester, I have been exposed to the many stories of different types of people during this awful pandemic year of 2020. Of the many items that I have curated, quite a few really stood out to me, and I tried to narrow it down to just one, but I couldn’t, so I chose two. The reason these two items stood out to me, and why many did, was the fact that they were relatable and they were emotional. The first item that really stood out to me was submitted by a woman that talked about why the pandemic terrifies her. She talked about how sad it was to see people not taking this seriously, and how ignorant people were being. She also spoke about the violence, and the rush to buy an insane amount of items from the store to prepare for what felt like an apocalypse. The part that got me was at the end, she discussed how she had been furloughed in her company and she had no source of income, so she had to move into an apartment. You could really tell how scared and stressed she was just by reading it. I could really feel her emotions and it really made me sit back and think about how many innocent people are being put through such hell. The second item that really stood out to me was submitted by a woman whose mother was in a nursing home. There was a picture submitted with the text that showed her mother peeking through her window. Nursing homes are among the many businesses that are very strict and are taking extra precautionary measures, so her mother is not allowed to have any visitors, only through a window. Her mother is 98 years old, and it saddens her to not be able to see her mother, especially not knowing when the next time she will be able to. I can personally relate to this because my grandma lives in a nursing home back in my hometown of Lewiston, ID. It is hard enough to live so far away and not be able to see her, but now I am not even allowed to see her when I visit home. It has been a hard year for my family because my grandma has dementia, and not being able to visit her cuts even deeper. My mother has especially had a rough year, because she has to sit and wait to see her mom, not knowing when that will be. -
2020-10-05
The Weird Reality of Pro Sports during Covid-19
The main point of this article is to simply address the odd time that we are currently in. It points out things in sports that were unheard of before this 2020 season. I chose this article because first of all I love watching sports, and was excited for them to come back. But, also I think this article does a good job of pointing out the obvious things that everyone is feeling and simply addressing that these times are simply just weird. This article reveals the difference of watching sports now, during the pandemic, compared to a year ago when you could physically cheer on your teams or even just eat a hot dog at a live game. This article is important because it documents the way many people are feeling about sports in 2020. I think this is important to showcase because sports have taken so many drastic measures in order to keep going. The author of this article is definitely a sports fan, but he doesn’t seem upset at the current situation of sports. He is simply stating the differences between then and now. The media is responsible for providing accurate information about the state of the pandemic itself but also providing uplifting content that will help people who are struggling through these times or content that will bring people together and uplift the community.