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fear
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2021-09
Meme about covid-19 as a religion
I encountered this meme on twitter in 2021. Someone had shared it not understanding what it meant, to make fun of whom they assumed was an American Conservative who made it, and when I first saw it- it provided me with a lightbulb moment. I had not been able to understand through the pandemic why followers of God based religions were not able to take the pandemic seriously. Outside of conservative politics there was an aspect missing from the conversation about the pushback against pandemic safety measures. This meme showed me that many believers in God were unable to take the pandemic 'seriously' because to be afraid of covid-19 would be to view and interact with it like they do God. If you fear God, if your relationship to God is fear based, you cannot fear Covid-19 unless you wish to treat it in a manner similar to God. I think this simple meme is important in contextualizing the history of the pandemic, how those of God based faiths could not cope with the pandemic in a similar manner as others. The pandemic has changed me in a lot of ways, I had just turned 22 when the pandemic first started and now in December of 2022 I will turn 25 years old. Transitioning from early to mid 20's is always a challenge but the pandemic has created strange times as I transition more into adulthood. This meme has begun an interest and more mature perspective on the role religion plays not only in politics but the psychology behind people of God based faiths. This meme alone has assisted me in developing compassion for people I thought were just stupid when the pandemic started. There is no one rational response to immense fear, only personal widely varied responses; every person has a deeply individualized psychology built off of neural networks formed only by their unique experiences daily. -
2022-04-01
Living Through the Pandemic
One thing that really stands out to me when I look back on the past two years since the pandemic began is how much fear there was at the onset. I remember it being about mid-March of 2020 and schools had moved to online learning, all nonessential businesses were closed, and it was almost impossible to find even basic groceries. The overwhelming majority of people were wearing some sort of face covering at this point and just the act of going outside felt dangerous. I should point out that since I work in the aerospace and defense manufacturing sector I was classified as an essential worker without the possibility of working remotely. Given that all of my friends had jobs that had moved to remote work and could isolate in their homes I felt that it was too risky to be around them given that I was out every day. I think that it is interesting that this was the state of affairs when there were maybe 1000 confirmed cases in the state of Arizona at this point. When contrasted with the reality that there have now been a total of over 2 million confirmed cases with approximately 25,000 currently active cases and for the most part everyone is going on with life as normal, I am left wondering if the fear at the beginning was irrational or if the current sense of complacency is the result of a society worn down to the point of indifference? -
2022-03-23
First Covid Related Death in American Samoa
On March 23, 2022, American Samoa reported its first Covid Death. This article was released on Talanei News with the Governor sending his sincere condolences to the man's family. With the surging number of cases in American Samoa from 555 last month to 2000 plus recently, the Governor went live on the local news when the first covid related death was reported to express his sympathies and to the public never to lose hope and to keep fighting against the disease. After two years, American Samoa had just experienced its first covid related death, making everyone worried that more deaths would come. And sadly, I think there will be. I have seen how COVID deaths have increased globally for the past two years, and as much as I do not want to think about it, I know it will be bound to happen. And just like me, the American Samoa public worries that since it is a tiny island, COVID-related deaths will spread quickly. When I saw this article on Talanei News, I immediately began to worry. I felt like I also lost a family member thinking about my parents. Experiencing death is never easy, and COVID has brought a lot of sadness. This article gave me fear, worries, and sadness altogether. This is why this article is essential to me as it informed important information about home during the drastic times of COVID and death. -
2020-02-01
Ioana Juravlea's Experience
I remember when I had just finished school on an early February day and I went to Whole Foods before going to work to buy some lunch. I was watching Tik TOks on how bad the disease was spreading in China and how they were building makeshift hospitals to handle it. As I waited to checkout I thought to myself and was hit with a rush of fear. I called my then boyfriend and asked him if we were being ignorant by trying to ignore what was happening. Shortly after that I watched another video with a deeper explanation and the person states, " These are the good times, everything is about to change for the worst." Although I was scared, I could not ever imagine how bad it would actually get. -
2020-03
Dealing with my anxiety
As most young adults my age, I suffer from severe anxiety. Dealing with anxiety daily, can be very challenging at times, especially during a pandemic. I have been fighting a battle with anxiety most of my life. At this point, I am really used to the extra thoughts in my head. I have learned to help manage it, but not completely get rid of it. I believe that anxiety has made me who I am, in a way, because I do not remember a time where I was not struggling. In 2020, a pandemic instantly flooded the world. This completely impacted my entire life. I was not able to experience my last year in high school, I was not able to be around the one person that helped me with my anxiety, etc. I was forced to wear a mask that I could barely breathe in. I lost touch with most of my friends that I developed over my lifetime. This instant wave of depression suddenly hit me. I was so nervous on what would happen next, and how long will this last. People were dying from this pandemic. I constantly worried about if the sickness would hurt one of my family members or someone important to me. Over the time of being in quarantine, I thought to myself ways on how I could relax and not worry so much about the pandemic. I told myself every day, “Everything happens for a reason”. This is what I truly believe and for some reason it really does calm me down. I am Catholic. I am a very deep believer in God. To me, trusting in the Lord is the best anxiety reliever around. Covid-19 is still around today. Without Covid-19, I would not be where I am today. Although this pandemic has an abundance of negative impacts on my life, it also had some positive ones, too. I would not have attended Duquesne University, met so many amazing people, and made a plethora of memories that I would not trade in for. I believe talking about my anxiety, especially during the pandemic, is very critical because I am not the only one who is suffering, too. Everyone is nervous about what is going to happen next. To me, this is HUGE on helping me with my anxiety. I can finally think to myself that I am not alone. I believe that people who suffer from anxiety, especially from the pandemic started in 2020, can have a place to go if they are nervous. When I was struggling, I felt alone, and I was the only person who felt this way. My story will allow people to realize that they are not alone. Everyone is dealing with this stress and anxiety that I suffered from. My story tells people that I have worries and doubts, too. The pandemic not only had negative impacts, but they also had positive impacts. Focusing on the positives, will distract you from the anxiety and worrying. My story should help prove that. My story should allow people to see and find new ways to cope with the stress. I hope my story leaves a positive impact on people who did or are struggling. Everyone is in this together, and nobody will be alone in this major impact on the world. -
2022-02-06
A never ending battle on COVID-19
It’s been nearly two years since the start of the pandemic, and if you ask some people, the state of this disaster hasn’t improved a whole lot. I turned 20 a few days ago, which marks my second birthday that has passed since the official start of Covid, which if I’m remembering correctly was March 13th, 2020. I’ll never forget the announcement made over the Pine Richland High School loudspeakers that day. Sitting in the back of the statistics classroom, the statement told us that we would have no school for the next two weeks, which at the time beat any time off we’d ever had prior. Fast forward two years later and we still wear masks indoors. We still have to wash or sanitize our hands after just about any surface we touch to hope we don’t get the virus. Even more importantly, I haven’t been able to see some of my family for years now. Driving all the way out to New York would be risky since they aren’t in the best health, and it’s not worth taking any chances with how bad this virus can be for some people. The worst part of it all has to be that we don’t know when this is going to end. It’s been long enough that the pandemic has become political, with rivalries between those who choose and refuse to get the vaccine, but will it ever stop? Will there ever be a point in time that we can all feel safe enough to be able to do anything without living in fear of this virus? I never expected to be sitting here years after this all started writing how just about anything is still affected by Covid, but I guess I’ve gotten used to it. After all of this, though, the whole “you never know what you got until it’s gone” saying really does remain true. -
2020-06-25
In-Processing Day for the Class of 2024 at the United States Air Force Academy
Imagine yourself going into your senior year of college... but at a service academy while COVID-19 has sunken its teeth into every aspect of our lives. While most colleges and universities around the globe pushed back the start dates of their fall semesters in 2020 or moved entirely online, Service academies in the U.S. needed to meet congress' demand of supplying a steady stream of future commissioned lieutenants to the military. As a result, I found myself at 23 years old as a flight commander of 30 young, recent high school graduates who needed the same level of indoctrination I received into the Air Force four years prior. Rather than videos of years past with cadet cadre in the faces of soon-to-be freshmen screaming at the top of their lungs, this video provides the innocuous version of in-processing with unedited or dubbed audio. You might even see a few of my basics who didn't know what to expect of basic training during the pandemic. While the cadre in the film stand professionally and talk with a sense of authority towards the basics, I can tell you behind the scenes we were re-writing COVID-19 protocol and adjusting their syllabi as each day passed. Your authority as a military instructor weakens as its filtered through a wet, uncomfortable cloth mask (I strongly encourage you to look up "I-Day" videos of USAFA prior to the pandemic to compare). Can you imagine how much you have to yell through one of those masks to get 30 individuals to hear you over the other 39 flights sprinkled across the campus drill pads? My 6 weeks as a flight commander were filled with frustration, sympathy, reward, and most of all focus. First, focusing visually, I had to maintain social distancing anywhere from when basics were wrapped around the hallways to wait to shower all the way to when they practiced marching non-military standard "double-arm interval" for their basic training graduation day. Also, focusing through sound, I had to understand my basics through sweat or dirt covered masks as they recited knowledge, asked questions during academic blocks, or were struggling and needed follow-up mentoring. The measurable distance between trainers and trainees as well as the pauses of silence, normally filled with a constant cacophony of yelling, are what many graduates of my alma mater would call weak. Despite a lack of intensity, masks added a layer of confusion and frustration during a period that is already filled with fear, stress, and exhaustion for basics. For that reason, I want to ask those who weren't there to understand sensually why the class of 2024 still went through the same basic training experience as years past. Maybe a second listen to the audio can even reveal those same frustrations and fears from the basics reflected in the tone of their cadre. -
2020-04-29
Giving Birth During The Pandemic
My name is Niki, I'm 38 and live in Clovis CA. In March of 2020, I was about 8 and a half months pregnant with my son, Tate. I went to school part time, majoring in Early Childhood Development. I was also a stay at home Mom to my then 3 year old daughter, Quinn. She’s my driving force in school because she is on the autism spectrum. In March she was just beginning to talk and have real words,and her brother was coming, it was an exciting time. My husband Mike, is what they call an over the road trucker. Meaning he was gone all week and home for 30 hours over the weekend. The situation was not ideal for us, but it worked to give me the freedom to be with Quinn to take her to the therapies she needed. Then Covid came to the US. Everyone was forced inside. School shut down. The daycare closed. All therapies were put on hold. Everyone was told to wear a mask and sanitize everything. My baby shower was canceled too many people, myself included, were too scared to get together. Mike was not allowed to come home, in fear of being exposed or exposing us. He had to stay on the truck and keep delivering supplies. Then the hospital called and said I needed to prepare that the beds might fill up in the maternity wards with Covid cases and I might need to do a home birth. Could I find someone to assist me ? I had no one! We had only lived here for a year and I haven't made many friends. I had my Mom but she’s older, not able to deliver a baby and quarantined for her health. My sister lived kinda close but she was with her family and was quarantined like everyone else.I had my three-year-old who only had 4 real words !! Then the hospitals call and say “ Don’t worry you can give birth here, no one can be with you and we might take your baby from you right away and keep them from you for about two weeks to make sure they dont have Covid '' Um No ! Home birth sounds good right about now. I had the worst dreams up until my son’s birth. Thankfully, there were beds open in the maternity ward. Thankfully my husband's dispatch got him home just in time for Tate’s arrival. The hospitals allowed one support person in the room for the birth, so he was there. It was the scariest experience. I begged everyone to not take my baby. The hospital didn’t look like a hospital. Everything was covered in white plastic from ceiling to floors. Everyone had on masks and face coverings. It was a scene from a scifi movie.It was one of the scariest times of my life. Amidst all the chaos and stress my beautiful chunky completely healthy son made his entrance into this world on April 29th, 2020. We stayed in the hospital for two days and no one took him from me. I made sure of that. We went home and adjusted to life with a newborn and living with Covid like everyone else. Its been a year and a half and the hospitals have not changed the rules about only allowing one support person in the delivery room. I try to share as much information to expecting mothers as I can. There are no in and out privileges anymore.Once you are in the hospital, you have to stay there. You need to pack snacks! Or you can have food delivered to the hospital. Still can't have visitors. Have an extensive “go bag” ready for when it’s time to go. I hope with all the advances with the vaccine and lowering cases and people being more conscious of their health the hospitals will relax a little on the support team numbers for expecting moms soon. That’s my Covid19 share. -
2021-11-29
Are you sick and experiencing COVID 19 symptoms?
The public was or maybe still is a lot more fearful of contracting COVID 19. If you were sick at you were advised to stay at home and work due to fear of contracting the virus. This image identifies some ways to know if you or someone may be infected with COVID 19. -
2021-11-29
Needle stick accommodations made available to the public
Not everyone is a fan of hypodermic needles ( personally I am not). Healthcare has made considerable accommodations for those who are available for vaccinations by changing the size of the needle gauge; child and adult. By the healthcare industry developing new, different, and special accommodations for providing vaccinations via needle sticks are taking into consideration not everyone likes needles. For the most the public have a fear of needles. To now make the vaccinations a lot more welcoming for you as child /adult have options. There are now even needle-less "sticks" -
2020-03
Being Indigenous During COVID-19
I am a Game Art major at Full Sail University, but my sister goes to Northeastern University, so we are a Northeastern family. I am of Mayan descent, so living through COVID-19 was a little scary because we got all the news and updates about how COVID-19 was ravaging Mayan communities in Guatemala. We live in the USA in a rural area, so we were a little "safer," but the fear remained. I am proud of my people and my heritage, and I don't doubt our ability to survive the pandemic. Here is a quick sketch I made. -
2021-09-19
HIST30060 Misinformation
This image I took down the St. Kilda pier. Someone had left various stickers that spread misinformation about covid, lockdowns and the vaccine. My friends and I decided it was best to remove these stickers as they are quite harmful. Living in Melbourne it has been so tiring watching ‘freedom protestors’ and people from far-right groups constantly spread misinformation and attend protests during stage 4 lockdowns (where we can only leave the house for the essentials). The fear-mongering these groups do its quite upsetting as I’ve seen my friends and some distant family members share their information on social media. The ‘anti-vaxxers’ and covid deniers even compare wearing a mask, getting vaccinated and being in lockdown to the Holocaust, which is so harmful and upsetting -
2020-07-28
Preparing Your Child for a COVID-19 Test
A blog post from Banner Health about helping children take a Covid-19 test -
2021-05
Financial vs. Public Health In Planning for Art Fairs
When Art Basel, Hong Kong did happen I remember the internal debate within the art advisory where I worked at the time of whether or not clients and members of the team could or would attend. New considerations arose for the businesses and people like me who worked in administration and logistics. There were major complications that none of us had previously faced in planning for art fair events, client dinners and logistics. For example, booking flights was complicated. In the case of Hong Kong, some people had no choice but to reroute in strange places due to restrictions of certain passport holders or location of origin. Another consideration, were the fancy client and networking dinners that are staples of the art fair culture and booked months in advance. Due to closure or half-capacity seating, many of the premier restaurants were no longer feasible to solidify reservations. -
2021-09-21
HIST30060 Footage of smoke on the Westgate Bridge during anti-lockdown protests in Melbourne
This video was taken on 21 September 2021, capturing the view of the Westgate Bridge from Williamstown, Melbourne, as anti-lockdown protestors fill several lanes and disrupt traffic. The footage shows smoke coming from the bridge and all traffic brought to a standstill. There were also helicopters hovering and police car lights joining the scene later on. I was on a walk with a friend along the Esplanade at the time this footage was taken. It felt quite scary to be seeing aggressive, violent attitudes manifest so close to home. We knew what was going because of news updates coming through our phones. After the initial shock and fear at witnessing this happening on a few kilometres away, my friend and I walked the rest of the way in silence, too appalled by the behaviour to do more than shake our heads in dismay. -
2020-03-16
From Unheard of to Unheard
This excerpt outlines how the start of the pandemic affected the noise level of an undergraduate college campus. -
2020-03-29
Eau de Sanitizer: A Home Fragrance
The early days of quarantine were quiet and calm, as the streets around my home in Southern California were filled with silence since there were fewer cars and people roaming outdoors. Sanitizer and rubbing alcohol were in high demand, and in heavy rotation in our home, as everything that came in was wiped, sprayed, and cleaned before being put away. I remember coming home from the store and wiping down every item with alcohol and sanitizer, and I remember wiping down every counter, surface, and phone. Afterwards, the house was filled with the sharp and dismal aroma of rubbing alcohol, as the fragrance mimicked a well-diffused scented candle. The distinctive scent wafted throughout the living room and lingered within the walls, the drapes, and the furniture. It became the scent of March 2020, and a home fragrance which lacked the expected or traditional calming or soothing properties of a candle or diffuser that is placed in a room. Every outing resulted in rubbing alcohol-infused surroundings, which served as a constant reminder of the changing climate. Eau de Sanitizer recalled the uneasiness, fear, and chaotic shops of the early pandemic, as it was a fragrant reminder of the unknown. The memory of that spring is tied to the scent of rubbing alcohol, and now every time I light a candle in my living room I am reminded of those early days. -
2021-10-12
Mekenna Miller Oral History, 2021/10/12
This is a personal reflection about how fear is an unavoidable consequence of pandemics. -
2021-09-07
Thoughts on Covid-19 Vaccine and Blood Clots: Social Media Screenshot
As someone who has studied the history of disease and epidemics, I know that disease causes widespread fear and panic. The uncertainties and unknowns of disease cause people to question themselves, others, and even medical professionals. Sometimes, questioning and being skeptical is what saved lives. For example, questioning Dr. Rush's treatment methods in the yellow fever epidemic of Philadelphia or questioning miasma theory during the outbreaks of cholera in London. Recently, there have been cases of blood clots as a result of the Covid-19 vaccine. This is a screenshot of what WHO has to say about the blood clots and a comment from myself. While I would love to get the vaccine, and I was originally hopeful about getting it, I'm not too scared and unsure what to do. Although WHO says cases of blood clots are rare, there are still many people like myself who are skeptical and only want to make the right decision for their own health and life. With talk of possible mandated vaccines, I am uncertain about what the future will look like for me and others like me. -
2020-12-27
Boxing Day Test at the Melbourne Cricket Grounds
Despite most activities being cancelled due to restrictions, I was lucky enough to score four free tickets to the Boxing Day Test cricket match in Melbourne at the MCG, and I brought three of my friends to the match. It was actually my first time at a live sporting event, so it was particularly memorable for me. Rather scarily, we soon found out a few days later that one of the spectators on that day would later test positive for COVID-19, leading me to take a COVID test myself, which thankfully turned out to be negative. -
2021-10-04
How Covid-19 Has Changed My Life
The reflection that I have uploaded is a short summary of the biggest impacts Covid-19 has had on my life. This was the first time I've had the opportunity to share how Covid-19 has affected my life and I hope my experience helps others understand what life was like during these times. This submission is important to me because I want people 50 years from now to be able to read this and know how this pandemic has changed the world and how adaptable humans can become. -
2020-04-16
Happy Birthday...
Today is April 16th, 2020. Instead of waking my mom up with breakfast in bed, she sends me a photo of herself layered in protective gear. At the time my mother was working at one of the largest hospitals in Queens. She went from working four days a week to working six-seven days a week as the rates of COVID-19 hospitalizations increased. Today is her birthday and instead of celebrating life, she is surrounded by fear, death, and uncertainty. Thank you Mom for being strong and putting your life at risk as an essential worker. Happy Birthday -
2020-03-20
The blurry year
I just started at Brooklyn College as a transfer student from Citytech. The semester was only like 5 weeks in when we started seeing reports of the Covid 19. Then the school closed for a day and we were told it only be for a short amount of time, we all know how that went. I haven't been on campus since that last day. There was so much unknown at the time with everything. How long we were going to be away from school, what was the deal with Covid 19, how dangerous was it, and how we were going to survive. At that point, everything closed, and the city was so quiet for the first time in my life. I came out a different person after the lockdown. It was a scary time for a lot of people. It felt like everyone was struggling with something. My biggest thing was just trying to make the best of the situation. and that's what I still do to this day. -
2020-01-01
The real pandemic
during the covid 19 pandemic everybody was panicking and worrying about getting a vaccine. i just moved here from another state and i left my mom and brother back home. they lived in a bad neighborhood so during the pandemic they was not only afraid of the covid pandemic but the violent pandemic that plagued the streets where they lived. during the pandemic i lost both my mom and brother to gun violence. -
2020-04-10
Good Friday
It was early Friday morning and I could not fall back asleep. I kept hearing murmurs from the room next door. My stomach began rumbling and I began to worry. Something was definitely off. My feet touched the cold floor and my hands grazed the doorknob but someone else on the other side beat me to opening the door. My dad's face was covered in fear and worry. I asked him what was wrong and like parents do they shield you to protect you from bad news. He told me everything was fine and to go back to bed. Minutes passed but it seemed like hours and I still could not find sleep. My dad burst into the door and told me to call an ambulance for my mother because she was having trouble breathing. My hands began to shake, my body was trembling as I picked up my phone and dialled 911. I stood in my parents room watching over my mother and her saying her last goodbyes to my brother and I. I could not even manage the words out of my mouth as I spoke to the person over the phone. It all happened so fast. My younger brother and I were imploring my mom to hold on and that help was on the way. Within minutes the paramedics arrived. They checked her vital signs and determined my mother was fine and was having a panic attack. That was the day my life changed. Everyone in the world was going through this. Who would have thought we all would have been in a lockdown. My mother became overwhelmed with the situation. Everytime you would turn on the TV, Covid-19 was always headlining. Hearing ambulances come and go every so often right outside your apartment. Sometimes even hearing people cry at the top of their lungs because a family member had passed away. People losing jobs and not being able to work. It was hard hearing all of this. It became such a burden to her that she herself got ill. However, going through this experience helped my family appreciate one another even more. We helped each other out and we enjoyed the small things whether it was making a joke or watching a movie. Funny enough it happened right before Easter as well and my mother being religious and all saw it as a sign. In a way we did have a lot to be thankful for. A second chance to rebuild our family. -
2021-09-27
Unexpected
It's a descriptive story of how covid has affected my life and its important to me because it has a long term affect. -
2020-12-09
Life in the Pandemic
My life in the pandemic was tough. I couldn't work so I was not able to pay my bills, I like the rest of the world during lockdown had to sit at home bored out of my mind because nobody could leave. I was very scared for my mom when she got covid because she had oxygen issues and also heart issues. Going to school during the pandemic really bothered me because I lost a lot of focus and became very lazy when it came to handing in assignments. I would rather physically go onto campus because when I am actually listening to the professors' talk, it makes it so much easier to understand and to focus. -
2021-09-20
Benjamin Zakharov and Leia Hockstein Oral History, 2021/09/20
Our interview tell our experiences with the pandemic both personally and in relation to our surroundings from the perspective of a high school senior. -
2020-03-01
COVID through the eyes of others
Going through the pandemic myself has had a lot of highs and lows. Despite having to be relatively locked down and isolated from most people until vaccinated, I was able to pick up a lot of hobbies and overall just learn a lot more about myself. As I look back, I can't help but think about how this experience has been different for others, with one of these groups being the elderly especially. There's one couple that is friends with my family who are both just over sixty years old and starting from March 2020 has been on complete lockdown. They order their groceries, don't see anyone outside their immediate family, and rarely leave the house. While COVID for me has its positives and negatives, I can't imagine how different the experience has been for them, both out of isolation and fear of getting sick. Thankfully, they have been vaccinated and have extended the bubble of people they see slightly. I just can't get over how while some who are skeptics of the pandemic run around carefree, others are locked away in their homes fearing for their health. -
2020-12-01
How history got me through lockdown
A story I wrote about using history to keep a sense of perspective and gratitude through Melbourne's long lockdown in 2020. Coming against a background of university job losses and policies disfavouring humanities degrees I also wanted to let historians know that their work is important and has relevance. -
2021-07-23
First Race in a Pandemic World
Terrified, I put on my shoes and walked over to the canyon. I’m always nervous before a race - where will I place? What if I can’t finish? It’s adrenaline talking. This time, it was different. For the first time since early 2020, I was competing in a race, outside, with other people. When I signed up, the case count was the lowest it had been since the original shut down. I was nervous, but excited. Then Delta exploded. As the numbers climbed, I tried running with a mask that week. Two days before the race, I made it 3 miles and had to take it off. This was the Hot and Hilly 10K I was prepping for. It’s over 90 degrees and the course is all hills. I knew I wouldn’t be able to do the mask the whole time. I also knew the course had narrow parts, wide enough for only one runner. What happened if I got in a group? Was being outside enough to dissipate the virus, like current advice suggests? Or is Delta more potent? And is there a difference between standing outside unmasked and running full speed unmasked in a group of other people roughly and heavily drawing air in and out? As I waited for the gun, I wore my mask. I was the only one and that didn’t bother me. In fact, I was a little self conscious that I would be judged but I think everyone was just focused on the trail. When the race began, there was a natural small bottleneck. I left my mask on. About a mile in, I had to take it off. Luckily, the crowd had thinned. Since I am not an elite runner, I wasn’t doing the 7 minute miles of the head of the pack. On the flip, I also am not slow. I was able to find a sweet spot where I could see the front of the pack in the distance, but was far enough ahead of the average runners that I was not in a crowd. Overall, it was amazing to be racing again. I love competition. For over a year, I ran only on the treadmill. There was part of me that wondered if my ability have disappeared during the quarantine. I came in 4th place in my division and am beyond excited with that placement. I also was relieved knowing I was done with the crowds for the day. I spent two weeks secretly nervous I contracted COVID and am happy to report that the vaccine seems to have worked for me. I have another race scheduled for October and am already feeling nervous. Our hospitalization rate has shot to nearly 500 and the ICU is two away from 100. Will my next race being outdoors be enough to protect my family, especially my two unvaccinated kids at home? Will my vaccine even still be effective by October? My second shot will have been administered seven months prior at that point. -
2020-05
In 2020 We Ate Certain Foods Because We Stopped Buying Fresh Produce and Meat
In late spring 2020, we begin to realize that it was too dangerous and too expensive to buy fresh produce and meat. The fresh produce was often out of stock for weeks at a time. Then other times the produce just seemed difficult to trust. The grocery store often had people without masks and the COVID numbers were rising. We really couldn't trust any fresh fruits or vegetables unless we cooked them. Eventually as the prices began to rise on fresh meats, we stopped buying those too. Eventually we found that the pandemic had completely altered our day to day eating habits. We didn't always trust restaurants for takeout since they had COVID outbreaks also. Living in a small rural town, we had limited options. This left us trying to buy a few canned foods at stores or ordering delivery of shelf-stable foods in bulk from online retailers. One of the things that I remember the most is how I began to struggle with my blood pressure. We were eating too many boxed and canned foods; not enough fruit and vegetables. My sodium intake was high and my potassium was low. We then decided we would start buying dehydrated vegetables and fruit. We tried not to buy canned versions that were preserved with salt. The main thing I remember is that one of the first meals that seemed so good and healthy was a meal of Anazazi beans. We had bought some in New Mexico the year before and really liked them. This time we bought a 10 lb bag and assumed that we may have to stock up as the pandemic continued on. We also bough dehydrated onions, dehydrated jalapenos, and other dehydrated mixed vegetables. We did an instant pot of the beans and what ingredients we had. We really enjoyed it. For the first time in weeks, it felt like a real meal. And this was a hot meal during a warm time of year, something we would normally never cook before 2020. Here is the instant pot recipe and with the ingredients we had, leaving out the ones we didn't have. We adapted as best we could. The original full recipe is linked for comparison. The recipe we found: Instant Pot Anasazi Beans Ingredients 2 cups. dried Anasazi Beans 6 cloves garlic, peeled and smashed 4 c. low sodium chicken stock 1 c. water 1 fresh bay leaf (or 2 dried) 1 t. cumin 1 t. dried oregano 1 t. dehydrated jalapenos 1/8 c. dried onion salt and pepper to taste Instructions: 1. Place dried beans, crushed garlic cloves, chicken stock, water, cumin, oregano, bay leaves, dehydrated jalapenos, and dried onion in instant pot. 2. Close lid and pressure cook at high pressure for 25 minutes, then pressure release for roughly 15 minutes. Open the lid carefully. 3. Switch pot to soup setting. Stir occasionally for about 10 minutes. Taste and season with salt and pepper. 4. Serve. http://eliotseats.com/2019/01/27/instant-pot-anasazi-beans/ -
2021-08-06
Cabin Fever
It all started with the news of the outbreak. It was the day before spring break and the news had spread that the virus was infecting the surrounding states. Teachers were giving open ended warnings about the following days. There was a buzz in the air,and it felt like dread and excitement. I wasn't scared but I was worried. No one knew it would end up like this. The following week was Spring break and then it became extended even further. A month into this "temporary" spring break and I was sick and tired of seeing just my room. The laws had cracked down and the fear in my stomach felt like millions of butterflies wanting to get out. The smell of the required mask smelt sanitized and sickly at the same time. It was dreadful going out side and being so distant from everything. It was like the entire world was on pause. It felt like nothing grew, I felt trapped. After the months of being stuck in my house not being able to see my girlfriend starved me of affection. Being around my family should've been enough to fill that starvation,but we were never close to begin with. I hated the virus and the news surrounding it,especially the political side of the virus. It didn't make sense to give a disease a political stand point. The ambiance of my house was creaking wood and heavy sighs,we were all tired. Cabin fever had set in,and it was bad. -
2020-03-23
Mental Health and COVID
During the start of this year the country went through something extremely frightening and new to everyone. The lockdown was something that cause a lot of teens and people get into a really bad state of mind. Being told you weren’t allowed to go out for groceries, see friends, go to the gym, or even visit your local gas station. People were scared and worried about their health and the health of their family members. For myself, having the lockdown meant I couldn’t go to school nor could I participate in my first year of college soccer. It had a really negative impact on my mental health and I started to do things that I would never see myself doing. I was relying on alcohol a lot to get me through the days of just binge watching tv shows and movies. Because I was binge drinking, I would then binge eat and not be active at all. Growing up as an athlete and just as a very active person in general I would never binge eat or binge drink. I started to gain weight and look down on myself a lot. A lot of people don’t realize the impact that the lockdown had on people who really relied on structure to get them through the days and hold them accountable. It wasn’t until September that I really looked at myself and was disgusted with who I became and what I was relying on. I started to run and exercise outside. I have now lost 15 lbs and go to the gym 5 times a week for pleasure instead of punishment. It has been the best journey for my fitness lifestyle and I am so grateful that COVID brought that to me. -
2020-04-28
The effect of suppressing funeral rituals during the COVID-19 pandemic on bereaved families*
This documental study was intended to understand the meanings individuals who have lost loved ones in this context assign to the phenomenon of suppressed funeral rituals. -
2021-07-14
California woman first to face federal charges over fake COVID immunizations, vaccination cards
A homeopathic doctor in California became the first person in the United States to face federal charges over fake COVID-19 immunizations and falsified coronavirus vaccine cards. Juli A. Mazi, 41, of Napa was arrested Wednesday and charged with one count of wire fraud and one count of false statements related to health care matters, the Department of Justice said in a press release. "This defendant allegedly defrauded and endangered the public by preying on fears and spreading misinformation about FDA-authorized vaccinations, while also peddling fake treatments that put people’s lives at risk. Even worse, the defendant allegedly created counterfeit COVID-19 vaccination cards and instructed her customers to falsely mark that they had received a vaccine, allowing them to circumvent efforts to contain the spread of the disease," said Deputy Attorney General Lisa O. Monaco. -
2021-01-16
12.6 million households have welcomed new 'pandemic pets' into the home
This story from Good Morning America talks about how 12.6 million households got new pets during the pandemic. Now some of those pets are not used to being alone. An expert trainer, Eric Ita, gives tips for pups with separation anxiety and other advice for dog owners. -
07/08/2021
Collett Hall Oral History, 2021/07/08
Collett Hall talks about her fears about her daughter getting the virus, her system for obtaining groceries, and her experiences working as a special education teacher. -
2021-07-06
The Year the World Turned Upside Down
In the year of COVID-19, I did not want to leave my house. I was already an anxious person before COVID-19, so I was scared out of my mind when it hit. A lot of people do not talk about the mental effect that COVID-19 has had on teenagers. COVID-19 happened at the end of my sophomore year. Before COVID-19, I was such an outgoing person, and now I feel like I do not know how to talk to people without overthinking. My junior year of doing mostly virtual has crippled me in a way that few can understand. My social battery has never seemed to recover, and my anxiety is always on ten whenever I go out in public. It feels like during this pandemic, I have lost a part of me that I may never get back. I now struggle with talking to people and making friends at my new school. I was so stuck in my head during the pandemic, and now I do not know how to get out. I recognize my privilege in never getting COVID-19 and no one close to me dying. I just wanted to acknowledge the effects of COVID-19 on my mental health. I hope that I can work through the issues this pandemic has caused me and get to a better place mentally. -
2020-09-08
First Day of School Scents
September 8, 2020 was the first day of school at my regional high school and I was beginning my third year as a teacher. As always, the night before the first day of school was marked by butterflies, but this time around, the butterflies were not due to the excitement and hecticness of the first day, but due to fear. As someone who social distanced to an extent unmatched by most of my peers, coming to school on the first day terrified me, as I was concerned with putting myself around so many other people in such a small room, specifically high school students who certainly enjoyed more social interaction over the summer than I did. However, as a teacher, I had to come in with a smile on my face, as you can see in the picture, despite the immense fear I was feeling in the pit of my stomach. What I remember most clearly is the smell of the school. The hallways were filled with hand sanitizer dispensers which released a scent that could overpower all else. Individual classrooms were packed with cleaning supplies and Lysol wipes which I had to clean each desk with between periods. What is so shocking is that more than anything, it is these smells that I associate with the fear I felt that first day of school. Though that first day was one of the most fear-inducing days of my life, the year ended up being incredibly rewarding and my students and I together helped each other through one o f the mo st difficult years of our lives. Though originally nervous to teach in 2020, I am incredibly grateful to have been able to conquer this year with my students by my side. Hopefully someday I will not have such an adverse reaction to the smell of hand sanitizer. -
2020-09-08
A Different Type of First Day of School Butterflies
September 8, 2020 was the first day of school at my regional high school and I was beginning my third year as a teacher. As always, the night before the first day of school was marked by butterflies, but this time around, the butterflies were not due to the excitement and hecticness of the first day, but due to fear. As someone who social distanced to an extent unmatched by most of my peers, coming to school on the first day terrified me, as I was concerned with putting myself around so many other people in such a small room, specifically high school students who certainly enjoyed more social interaction over the summer than I did. However, as a teacher, I had to come in with a smile on my face, as you can see in the picture, despite the immense fear I was feeling in the pit of my stomach. Though that first day was one of the most fear-inducing days of my life, the year ended up being incredibly rewarding and my students and I together helped each other through one of the most difficult years of our lives. Though originally nervous to teach in 2020, I am incredibly grateful to have been able to conquer this year with my students by my side. -
2021-06-28
My Pandemic Experience
When the pandemic was coming, I was initially relieved. I was supposed to fly to Chicago to visit my sister and go to our favorite band’s (Keane) concert, but as a person with anxiety and panic disorder who is terrified of airplanes and crowds it allowed me to back out. The concert was cancelled. It was the excuse I needed to back out without shame or blame. It seems silly now, but at the time covid seemed more like a bad cold or flu to me. It seemed like another Swine Flu or Avian Flu or other scare in recent memory which hadn’t amounted to a plague style pandemic. Lockdown was even kind of nice at first. My husband, daughter, and I got to spend a lot of family time together. I had taught ESL online for a number of years previously, so converting my in school classes to online was easy. I had no problems teaching over Zoom. I’m a homebody anyway, by habit and by anxiety, so this was great… until the body count started. I was horrified and sickened to hear about the freezer containers being used in New York City to store the overflow of bodies. The germaphobia that had plagued me in childhood, that I had gone to years of therapy to overcome, came roaring back with a vengeance. Like everyone else, I went to the grocery store to stock up so I wouldn’t have to leave me house for awhile, only to find shelf after shelf empty. As a super health conscious, organic, vegan my choices were extremely limited. My husband and daughter aren’t vegan, but they do eat only organic, which became impossible. Soap, disinfectant, cleaners, and hand sanitizers were nowhere to be found. At a time when it was so important to be as clean and healthy as possible all those modern conveniences were utterly gone. I felt helpless. I imagined that people living during pandemics like the bubonic plague and Spanish flu must have felt similarly. After a couple of weeks, quarantine started to feel more like a claustrophobic prison sentence than a family vacation. I missed my sister, my parents, my friends, my colleagues, and my students. On my birthday and Easter I just had to wave at my parents through the glass door. My favorite hobby- taekwondo, which I had started in order to relieve stress and help with my anxiety was taken from me. I had to do the classes online from my living room, which was nearly impossible. I felt trapped. A raging epidemic across the planet from which there was no escape. If I spent too much time thinking about it, I would start to feel the claw of panic. By the time summer arrived I was at breaking point. Luckily with summer we had some reprieve. Case loads declined, and I started meeting my best friend outside. We socially distanced ourselves and wore masks, but we were together and that was a start. By the end of summer she and her boyfriend were on our “quaranteam” that is we decided we could see each other since we weren’t seeing anyone else. In the fall school started. Since I teach at a Catholic school we were able to have school in person full time, though we had students in every grade who opted to go remote. But my bestie and I were back in the building with most of the kids, and I started to feel less trapped. I was going to stores masked and my daughter was also in school. But as soon as Thanksgiving hit everything changed again. So many people ignored all of the recommendations and restrictions and got together with family and friends. It made me so angry that people were so careless. A friend of mine had a large family in Pennsylvania who all got together for Thanksgiving. She didn’t go because she thought it was reckless. 8 out of 14 people at the family dinner got covid and 2 of them died. Then at Christmas, my great uncle passed. No funeral. No wake. Nothing. Schools shut down again. We were trapped. Then the vaccines came. It was nearly impossible to get one for a long time even if you were eligible. Slots filled as fast as they were posted. You needed to present a lot of proof of eligibility in order to get one. As a teacher, I was able to get mine earlier than many others. I got the Moderna. The first shot made me feel a little sick for a few hours, but with the second I had a fever of 103.5, aches, chills, nausea for 12 hours and a general malaise for 3 days. A friend of mine in taekwondo, who has some autoimmune problems, had a severe reaction after her first Moderna vaccine. She has had side effects for a few months now that are not going away. She has dizzy spells and heart palpitations regularly. She is undergoing testing and being monitored by the CDC. Despite some horror stories, the vaccine is still the absolute best thing that we could have hoped for. I would like my daughter to get it as soon as they open it to the under 12 population. A lot of people won’t get the vaccine because they are in the “Science is fake, I’m a Trump supporter” camp. In my opinion, Trump’s misinformation and mishandling of the pandemic cost tens of thousands of American lives, and his diversive legacy is going to cost us dearly for many years to come. It is now June again. School just finished. New York State is allowing people to enter buildings unmasked if they are vaccinated, but few people are actually requiring any proof. Given that the people with a cavalier attitude toward wearing masks are many of the same people who are against getting vaccinated, an honors system policy towards wearing masks is really just a no-mask policy. It is very frustrating to me that people can’t just deal with masks for a while longer to fully insure this disease’s eradication before we have another relapse and find ourselves back in quarantine again. -
2020-06-14
Solace in the Smell
This is a story about how hand sanitizer kept one woman hopeful during the pandemic. "Sanitation theater" was a coping mechanism used by individuals, businesses, and organizations used to convince ourselves that we were safe. So much of what we needed during the pandemic, was respite from the dread and insecurity. So much was unknown and so much felt out of control. The smell of the hand sanitizer produced by my local distillery instantly evokes the emotions I felt at the height of the pandemic -
2021-05-26
The microscopic tick
A mask is like a microscopic tick We can't see it, but we can feel it, ick As I peel (the microscopic tick) off my face I'm repulsed I declare an appeal, “senit!” the microscopic tick has succeeded in form of fear It's won the battle Yet Covid is still here As I look on the ground (all around) the microscopic ticks are swarming in the air the dirty masks lay there… Breathless, weightless, thoughtless, penniless with an unconscious stare microscopic tick! -
2021-05
A Year to be Remembered
The start of quarantine was for me almost a blessing. A gate that locked us away from school for 2 weeks ironically gave me freedom. As these 14 days turned to weeks and weeks into a whole year, this “gate” that gave me freedom also locked me away from it. At first, I willingly mocked COVID because of how stupid it seemed. but reality struck as soon as one of my family members got it. It became a scary time in my life where both sides of the “gate” seemed like hell. I cried in the corner of my room and no one to reach out to as everyone in my family felt the same pain. As time was slowly ticking things I coped with my pain and things were looking brighter. This gate which kept me from reaching out to others was seemingly opening and I could feel like society going back to normal. It was only a matter of time when freedom unlocked this gate and give us a chance to be normal again. -
2021-05-18
Zach Pfalzgraf's Pandemic Story
Never in my life would I have thought that we would be facing a pandemic this big with all the modern technology we have. I was sure surprised and arrogant to think such as everyone can obviously tell. When the pandemic started, I was a junior at the University of Texas at the Permian Basin. The university is located in my hometown of Odessa, Texas. While attending there, I was also a full-time worker at a supermarket across the street from the university. One moment, we had shelves fully stocked and the next moment we had shelves completely bare because of people panic buying. Due to the people panic buying, my family and I panicked as well because we needed to get things like everyone else. Even when we had the things we needed, just because I worked in that supermarket and had to see it every day, I still wasn't really ever able to shake the feeling of anxiety and fear of what would happen to the supply routes the truckers use. It was a mess that I think no one had the answers for in the beginning. However, when public officials said to mask up and kept us up to date on the information they had, that's when we started to have our questions answered. Nonetheless, there were still some who denied this information that also included some ranks within our public officials that I think should have faced some sort of consequence in the long run. I got vaccinated with the Johnson vaccine once my phase of vaccine distribution came up and I still made sure to wear a mask for a great while to keep myself and others safe. This is an experience that I am sure we can all collectively agree on not wanting to repeat. -
2020-03-07
Shortages worldwide caused people to act violently against each other
When the pandemic began I would never forget how violently people reacted. Every time I stopped by a grocery store , supermarket or any store the lines were all the way to the back of the store and the lines outside of the store were incredibly long; all you could think about was how long you’d be standing outside and when it was your turn to go in would you even walk out with what you needed. In march of 2020 there was a brawl in Australia over toilet paper. I saw this video going viral on all social media platforms. Three women were recorded fighting in Sydney . Police were called to the scene when they received multiple calls that a woman had been assaulted. The lady had a shopping cart filled with packs of toilet paper leaving the rack empty so another lady grabbed one from her cart and that’s when the fight started . In the video footage you hear “ I just wanted one packet ”. It was heartbreaking seeing people be inconsiderate and violent over necessities . Many stores were experiencing shortages on toilet paper, Lysol, disinfecting wipes, alcohol, hand sanitizer and more. It was like you hit the jackpot when you were able to get your hands on those things . Supermarkets were also experiencing shortage in water and meats , the shelves in supermarkets located by me were completely empty at one point. I barely found good meat or packs of water when I needed to go food shopping. I felt like I had won the lottery when I did find what I was looking for . This pandemic has taught me that people will turn against each other if they have to. Instead of coming together as a community and helping each other out I saw very few good Samaritans give away essential supplies to those in need during this pandemic. -
2020-06-08
A Balancing Act on Fire
Although the meme is meant to be comedic, I feel that it reflects the reality of the stressors many people faced during the pandemic. To begin, the anxiety that the coronavirus disease brought into the public severely affected the mental health of many individuals across the globe. During the mandated lockdowns, I , like many others around me, began experiencing a decline in my happy hormones. At the time the pandemic restrictions were being put into place, I was living on campus with three other roommates. With the fear of spreading the disease unintentionally, the three moved out of the dorm right away and I was left to be on my own due to personal housing issues taking place at the time. The lack of interaction with anyone took a toll on my mental health. I missed my friends and my mom, I just wanted to be around someone, but we could only have visitors if they were helping us move out. On top of personal mental health struggles, events taking place across the country were also scarring. Protests in response to racial injustice under an administration that made it hard to feel safe unless you were a white male in America only added to the helpless state of being. Watching cases upon cases of unjustifiable abuse made the environment only more threatening than it initially seemed when the pandemic was first reported. The election of November 2020 was suspenseful in terms of who would be elected could potentially determine vital living situations for people all across the United States, whether it be immigrant status, being a person of color, or not being able to afford paying for housing in general. Financial troubles took over the country and the stimulus checks were not enough to cover housing, food, home essentials, especially when some dependents and entire families were not able to receive help because of their citizenship or dependent status. Many tried to turn towards their faith, the keyword being “tried.” Although not all religions focus on gatherings or physical objects, many people were unable to get access to these common preferred forms of practice and felt that virtual gatherings seemed ingenuine or illegitimate. Overall, the COVID-19 pandemic had many more severe effects on a global scale in all aspects of life. From concerns of the health of others, oneself, finances, practice of faith, and fear of safety in your own home, the negative effects are consistent as it seems that everything continues to pose a threat to daily living. I hope that everything eventually falls back into place and that justice is put in place so that people do not have to fear their own existence. -
2021-04-22
Life During Covid
This story just tells what the world looked like during the Covid pandemic through my eyes. -
2021-04-14
Can You Ever Tell If A Decision Is Right?
My daughter has left our neighborhood less than five times in the past 13 months. I am not exaggerating. Now that the positivity rate in our area is 1.5%, we cautiously allowed my daughter to accompany me on a one mile run. You would have thought I’d taken her to Disney World. She was happier and more relaxed than she’s been in months. But she’s not a runner. She’s a competitive gymnast who hasn’t set foot in a gym in 13 months. She’s trained virtually with a gym in Northern CA and has worked out every single day. But we know it’s not the same. We also know that it’s time to create the team for the next season. It was time to contact her gym. We can keep promising she’s coming back but at what point is it just empty words? After a lot of prayer and internal debate, we texted her coach and said it’s time for her to come back. As you can see, she was initially scared at the idea, but that was quickly replaced by excitement when she found out she is really going back. But I have a pit in my stomach. Is it safe? Her coach isn’t vaccinated. Will my daughter be one of the children who contract it and have dire consequences? Or will her brother if she brings it home? How long can you keep a kid in a bubble? She already missed an entire season. Her mental health is so important, we know going back is going to be so amazing for that. But I am still so worried about the physical. One thing that this year has shown me is that I am an adult. I mean, obviously, I’ve been an adult for 22 years. But this year - protecting not only the safety of my children but my over 65 mom and in-laws. Advocating for the health of my students over politics. It’s like the pandemic has forced me to see that I can’t look to anyone to make adult decisions, it’s me. I’m the decision maker and these decisions can be life and death. I’m the adult. COVID has stripped that security we all had (probably foolishly). I don’t think I’ll ever feel safe again the way I did before this all began. So fingers crossed that my daughter’s journey back into competitive gymnastics is one that we can make safely.