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fear
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2020-12-09
Life in the Pandemic
My life in the pandemic was tough. I couldn't work so I was not able to pay my bills, I like the rest of the world during lockdown had to sit at home bored out of my mind because nobody could leave. I was very scared for my mom when she got covid because she had oxygen issues and also heart issues. Going to school during the pandemic really bothered me because I lost a lot of focus and became very lazy when it came to handing in assignments. I would rather physically go onto campus because when I am actually listening to the professors' talk, it makes it so much easier to understand and to focus. -
2021-09-20
Benjamin Zakharov and Leia Hockstein Oral History, 2021/09/20
Our interview tell our experiences with the pandemic both personally and in relation to our surroundings from the perspective of a high school senior. -
2021-09-15
CT and LG Oral History, 2021/09/15
Two college students recall how their final years of high school were changed by COVID-19, discussing how sports were cancelled and classes went online. -
2020-03-01
COVID through the eyes of others
Going through the pandemic myself has had a lot of highs and lows. Despite having to be relatively locked down and isolated from most people until vaccinated, I was able to pick up a lot of hobbies and overall just learn a lot more about myself. As I look back, I can't help but think about how this experience has been different for others, with one of these groups being the elderly especially. There's one couple that is friends with my family who are both just over sixty years old and starting from March 2020 has been on complete lockdown. They order their groceries, don't see anyone outside their immediate family, and rarely leave the house. While COVID for me has its positives and negatives, I can't imagine how different the experience has been for them, both out of isolation and fear of getting sick. Thankfully, they have been vaccinated and have extended the bubble of people they see slightly. I just can't get over how while some who are skeptics of the pandemic run around carefree, others are locked away in their homes fearing for their health. -
2020-12-01
How history got me through lockdown
A story I wrote about using history to keep a sense of perspective and gratitude through Melbourne's long lockdown in 2020. Coming against a background of university job losses and policies disfavouring humanities degrees I also wanted to let historians know that their work is important and has relevance. -
2021-07-23
First Race in a Pandemic World
Terrified, I put on my shoes and walked over to the canyon. I’m always nervous before a race - where will I place? What if I can’t finish? It’s adrenaline talking. This time, it was different. For the first time since early 2020, I was competing in a race, outside, with other people. When I signed up, the case count was the lowest it had been since the original shut down. I was nervous, but excited. Then Delta exploded. As the numbers climbed, I tried running with a mask that week. Two days before the race, I made it 3 miles and had to take it off. This was the Hot and Hilly 10K I was prepping for. It’s over 90 degrees and the course is all hills. I knew I wouldn’t be able to do the mask the whole time. I also knew the course had narrow parts, wide enough for only one runner. What happened if I got in a group? Was being outside enough to dissipate the virus, like current advice suggests? Or is Delta more potent? And is there a difference between standing outside unmasked and running full speed unmasked in a group of other people roughly and heavily drawing air in and out? As I waited for the gun, I wore my mask. I was the only one and that didn’t bother me. In fact, I was a little self conscious that I would be judged but I think everyone was just focused on the trail. When the race began, there was a natural small bottleneck. I left my mask on. About a mile in, I had to take it off. Luckily, the crowd had thinned. Since I am not an elite runner, I wasn’t doing the 7 minute miles of the head of the pack. On the flip, I also am not slow. I was able to find a sweet spot where I could see the front of the pack in the distance, but was far enough ahead of the average runners that I was not in a crowd. Overall, it was amazing to be racing again. I love competition. For over a year, I ran only on the treadmill. There was part of me that wondered if my ability have disappeared during the quarantine. I came in 4th place in my division and am beyond excited with that placement. I also was relieved knowing I was done with the crowds for the day. I spent two weeks secretly nervous I contracted COVID and am happy to report that the vaccine seems to have worked for me. I have another race scheduled for October and am already feeling nervous. Our hospitalization rate has shot to nearly 500 and the ICU is two away from 100. Will my next race being outdoors be enough to protect my family, especially my two unvaccinated kids at home? Will my vaccine even still be effective by October? My second shot will have been administered seven months prior at that point. -
2020-05
In 2020 We Ate Certain Foods Because We Stopped Buying Fresh Produce and Meat
In late spring 2020, we begin to realize that it was too dangerous and too expensive to buy fresh produce and meat. The fresh produce was often out of stock for weeks at a time. Then other times the produce just seemed difficult to trust. The grocery store often had people without masks and the COVID numbers were rising. We really couldn't trust any fresh fruits or vegetables unless we cooked them. Eventually as the prices began to rise on fresh meats, we stopped buying those too. Eventually we found that the pandemic had completely altered our day to day eating habits. We didn't always trust restaurants for takeout since they had COVID outbreaks also. Living in a small rural town, we had limited options. This left us trying to buy a few canned foods at stores or ordering delivery of shelf-stable foods in bulk from online retailers. One of the things that I remember the most is how I began to struggle with my blood pressure. We were eating too many boxed and canned foods; not enough fruit and vegetables. My sodium intake was high and my potassium was low. We then decided we would start buying dehydrated vegetables and fruit. We tried not to buy canned versions that were preserved with salt. The main thing I remember is that one of the first meals that seemed so good and healthy was a meal of Anazazi beans. We had bought some in New Mexico the year before and really liked them. This time we bought a 10 lb bag and assumed that we may have to stock up as the pandemic continued on. We also bough dehydrated onions, dehydrated jalapenos, and other dehydrated mixed vegetables. We did an instant pot of the beans and what ingredients we had. We really enjoyed it. For the first time in weeks, it felt like a real meal. And this was a hot meal during a warm time of year, something we would normally never cook before 2020. Here is the instant pot recipe and with the ingredients we had, leaving out the ones we didn't have. We adapted as best we could. The original full recipe is linked for comparison. The recipe we found: Instant Pot Anasazi Beans Ingredients 2 cups. dried Anasazi Beans 6 cloves garlic, peeled and smashed 4 c. low sodium chicken stock 1 c. water 1 fresh bay leaf (or 2 dried) 1 t. cumin 1 t. dried oregano 1 t. dehydrated jalapenos 1/8 c. dried onion salt and pepper to taste Instructions: 1. Place dried beans, crushed garlic cloves, chicken stock, water, cumin, oregano, bay leaves, dehydrated jalapenos, and dried onion in instant pot. 2. Close lid and pressure cook at high pressure for 25 minutes, then pressure release for roughly 15 minutes. Open the lid carefully. 3. Switch pot to soup setting. Stir occasionally for about 10 minutes. Taste and season with salt and pepper. 4. Serve. http://eliotseats.com/2019/01/27/instant-pot-anasazi-beans/ -
2021-08-06
Cabin Fever
It all started with the news of the outbreak. It was the day before spring break and the news had spread that the virus was infecting the surrounding states. Teachers were giving open ended warnings about the following days. There was a buzz in the air,and it felt like dread and excitement. I wasn't scared but I was worried. No one knew it would end up like this. The following week was Spring break and then it became extended even further. A month into this "temporary" spring break and I was sick and tired of seeing just my room. The laws had cracked down and the fear in my stomach felt like millions of butterflies wanting to get out. The smell of the required mask smelt sanitized and sickly at the same time. It was dreadful going out side and being so distant from everything. It was like the entire world was on pause. It felt like nothing grew, I felt trapped. After the months of being stuck in my house not being able to see my girlfriend starved me of affection. Being around my family should've been enough to fill that starvation,but we were never close to begin with. I hated the virus and the news surrounding it,especially the political side of the virus. It didn't make sense to give a disease a political stand point. The ambiance of my house was creaking wood and heavy sighs,we were all tired. Cabin fever had set in,and it was bad. -
2020-03-23
Mental Health and COVID
During the start of this year the country went through something extremely frightening and new to everyone. The lockdown was something that cause a lot of teens and people get into a really bad state of mind. Being told you weren’t allowed to go out for groceries, see friends, go to the gym, or even visit your local gas station. People were scared and worried about their health and the health of their family members. For myself, having the lockdown meant I couldn’t go to school nor could I participate in my first year of college soccer. It had a really negative impact on my mental health and I started to do things that I would never see myself doing. I was relying on alcohol a lot to get me through the days of just binge watching tv shows and movies. Because I was binge drinking, I would then binge eat and not be active at all. Growing up as an athlete and just as a very active person in general I would never binge eat or binge drink. I started to gain weight and look down on myself a lot. A lot of people don’t realize the impact that the lockdown had on people who really relied on structure to get them through the days and hold them accountable. It wasn’t until September that I really looked at myself and was disgusted with who I became and what I was relying on. I started to run and exercise outside. I have now lost 15 lbs and go to the gym 5 times a week for pleasure instead of punishment. It has been the best journey for my fitness lifestyle and I am so grateful that COVID brought that to me. -
2020-04-28
The effect of suppressing funeral rituals during the COVID-19 pandemic on bereaved families*
This documental study was intended to understand the meanings individuals who have lost loved ones in this context assign to the phenomenon of suppressed funeral rituals. -
2021-07-14
California woman first to face federal charges over fake COVID immunizations, vaccination cards
A homeopathic doctor in California became the first person in the United States to face federal charges over fake COVID-19 immunizations and falsified coronavirus vaccine cards. Juli A. Mazi, 41, of Napa was arrested Wednesday and charged with one count of wire fraud and one count of false statements related to health care matters, the Department of Justice said in a press release. "This defendant allegedly defrauded and endangered the public by preying on fears and spreading misinformation about FDA-authorized vaccinations, while also peddling fake treatments that put people’s lives at risk. Even worse, the defendant allegedly created counterfeit COVID-19 vaccination cards and instructed her customers to falsely mark that they had received a vaccine, allowing them to circumvent efforts to contain the spread of the disease," said Deputy Attorney General Lisa O. Monaco. -
2021-01-16
12.6 million households have welcomed new 'pandemic pets' into the home
This story from Good Morning America talks about how 12.6 million households got new pets during the pandemic. Now some of those pets are not used to being alone. An expert trainer, Eric Ita, gives tips for pups with separation anxiety and other advice for dog owners. -
07/08/2021
Collett Hall Oral History, 2021/07/08
Collett Hall talks about her fears about her daughter getting the virus, her system for obtaining groceries, and her experiences working as a special education teacher. -
2021-07-06
The Year the World Turned Upside Down
In the year of COVID-19, I did not want to leave my house. I was already an anxious person before COVID-19, so I was scared out of my mind when it hit. A lot of people do not talk about the mental effect that COVID-19 has had on teenagers. COVID-19 happened at the end of my sophomore year. Before COVID-19, I was such an outgoing person, and now I feel like I do not know how to talk to people without overthinking. My junior year of doing mostly virtual has crippled me in a way that few can understand. My social battery has never seemed to recover, and my anxiety is always on ten whenever I go out in public. It feels like during this pandemic, I have lost a part of me that I may never get back. I now struggle with talking to people and making friends at my new school. I was so stuck in my head during the pandemic, and now I do not know how to get out. I recognize my privilege in never getting COVID-19 and no one close to me dying. I just wanted to acknowledge the effects of COVID-19 on my mental health. I hope that I can work through the issues this pandemic has caused me and get to a better place mentally. -
2020-09-08
First Day of School Scents
September 8, 2020 was the first day of school at my regional high school and I was beginning my third year as a teacher. As always, the night before the first day of school was marked by butterflies, but this time around, the butterflies were not due to the excitement and hecticness of the first day, but due to fear. As someone who social distanced to an extent unmatched by most of my peers, coming to school on the first day terrified me, as I was concerned with putting myself around so many other people in such a small room, specifically high school students who certainly enjoyed more social interaction over the summer than I did. However, as a teacher, I had to come in with a smile on my face, as you can see in the picture, despite the immense fear I was feeling in the pit of my stomach. What I remember most clearly is the smell of the school. The hallways were filled with hand sanitizer dispensers which released a scent that could overpower all else. Individual classrooms were packed with cleaning supplies and Lysol wipes which I had to clean each desk with between periods. What is so shocking is that more than anything, it is these smells that I associate with the fear I felt that first day of school. Though that first day was one of the most fear-inducing days of my life, the year ended up being incredibly rewarding and my students and I together helped each other through one o f the mo st difficult years of our lives. Though originally nervous to teach in 2020, I am incredibly grateful to have been able to conquer this year with my students by my side. Hopefully someday I will not have such an adverse reaction to the smell of hand sanitizer. -
2020-09-08
A Different Type of First Day of School Butterflies
September 8, 2020 was the first day of school at my regional high school and I was beginning my third year as a teacher. As always, the night before the first day of school was marked by butterflies, but this time around, the butterflies were not due to the excitement and hecticness of the first day, but due to fear. As someone who social distanced to an extent unmatched by most of my peers, coming to school on the first day terrified me, as I was concerned with putting myself around so many other people in such a small room, specifically high school students who certainly enjoyed more social interaction over the summer than I did. However, as a teacher, I had to come in with a smile on my face, as you can see in the picture, despite the immense fear I was feeling in the pit of my stomach. Though that first day was one of the most fear-inducing days of my life, the year ended up being incredibly rewarding and my students and I together helped each other through one of the most difficult years of our lives. Though originally nervous to teach in 2020, I am incredibly grateful to have been able to conquer this year with my students by my side. -
2021-06-28
My Pandemic Experience
When the pandemic was coming, I was initially relieved. I was supposed to fly to Chicago to visit my sister and go to our favorite band’s (Keane) concert, but as a person with anxiety and panic disorder who is terrified of airplanes and crowds it allowed me to back out. The concert was cancelled. It was the excuse I needed to back out without shame or blame. It seems silly now, but at the time covid seemed more like a bad cold or flu to me. It seemed like another Swine Flu or Avian Flu or other scare in recent memory which hadn’t amounted to a plague style pandemic. Lockdown was even kind of nice at first. My husband, daughter, and I got to spend a lot of family time together. I had taught ESL online for a number of years previously, so converting my in school classes to online was easy. I had no problems teaching over Zoom. I’m a homebody anyway, by habit and by anxiety, so this was great… until the body count started. I was horrified and sickened to hear about the freezer containers being used in New York City to store the overflow of bodies. The germaphobia that had plagued me in childhood, that I had gone to years of therapy to overcome, came roaring back with a vengeance. Like everyone else, I went to the grocery store to stock up so I wouldn’t have to leave me house for awhile, only to find shelf after shelf empty. As a super health conscious, organic, vegan my choices were extremely limited. My husband and daughter aren’t vegan, but they do eat only organic, which became impossible. Soap, disinfectant, cleaners, and hand sanitizers were nowhere to be found. At a time when it was so important to be as clean and healthy as possible all those modern conveniences were utterly gone. I felt helpless. I imagined that people living during pandemics like the bubonic plague and Spanish flu must have felt similarly. After a couple of weeks, quarantine started to feel more like a claustrophobic prison sentence than a family vacation. I missed my sister, my parents, my friends, my colleagues, and my students. On my birthday and Easter I just had to wave at my parents through the glass door. My favorite hobby- taekwondo, which I had started in order to relieve stress and help with my anxiety was taken from me. I had to do the classes online from my living room, which was nearly impossible. I felt trapped. A raging epidemic across the planet from which there was no escape. If I spent too much time thinking about it, I would start to feel the claw of panic. By the time summer arrived I was at breaking point. Luckily with summer we had some reprieve. Case loads declined, and I started meeting my best friend outside. We socially distanced ourselves and wore masks, but we were together and that was a start. By the end of summer she and her boyfriend were on our “quaranteam” that is we decided we could see each other since we weren’t seeing anyone else. In the fall school started. Since I teach at a Catholic school we were able to have school in person full time, though we had students in every grade who opted to go remote. But my bestie and I were back in the building with most of the kids, and I started to feel less trapped. I was going to stores masked and my daughter was also in school. But as soon as Thanksgiving hit everything changed again. So many people ignored all of the recommendations and restrictions and got together with family and friends. It made me so angry that people were so careless. A friend of mine had a large family in Pennsylvania who all got together for Thanksgiving. She didn’t go because she thought it was reckless. 8 out of 14 people at the family dinner got covid and 2 of them died. Then at Christmas, my great uncle passed. No funeral. No wake. Nothing. Schools shut down again. We were trapped. Then the vaccines came. It was nearly impossible to get one for a long time even if you were eligible. Slots filled as fast as they were posted. You needed to present a lot of proof of eligibility in order to get one. As a teacher, I was able to get mine earlier than many others. I got the Moderna. The first shot made me feel a little sick for a few hours, but with the second I had a fever of 103.5, aches, chills, nausea for 12 hours and a general malaise for 3 days. A friend of mine in taekwondo, who has some autoimmune problems, had a severe reaction after her first Moderna vaccine. She has had side effects for a few months now that are not going away. She has dizzy spells and heart palpitations regularly. She is undergoing testing and being monitored by the CDC. Despite some horror stories, the vaccine is still the absolute best thing that we could have hoped for. I would like my daughter to get it as soon as they open it to the under 12 population. A lot of people won’t get the vaccine because they are in the “Science is fake, I’m a Trump supporter” camp. In my opinion, Trump’s misinformation and mishandling of the pandemic cost tens of thousands of American lives, and his diversive legacy is going to cost us dearly for many years to come. It is now June again. School just finished. New York State is allowing people to enter buildings unmasked if they are vaccinated, but few people are actually requiring any proof. Given that the people with a cavalier attitude toward wearing masks are many of the same people who are against getting vaccinated, an honors system policy towards wearing masks is really just a no-mask policy. It is very frustrating to me that people can’t just deal with masks for a while longer to fully insure this disease’s eradication before we have another relapse and find ourselves back in quarantine again. -
2020-06-14
Solace in the Smell
This is a story about how hand sanitizer kept one woman hopeful during the pandemic. "Sanitation theater" was a coping mechanism used by individuals, businesses, and organizations used to convince ourselves that we were safe. So much of what we needed during the pandemic, was respite from the dread and insecurity. So much was unknown and so much felt out of control. The smell of the hand sanitizer produced by my local distillery instantly evokes the emotions I felt at the height of the pandemic -
2021-05-26
The microscopic tick
A mask is like a microscopic tick We can't see it, but we can feel it, ick As I peel (the microscopic tick) off my face I'm repulsed I declare an appeal, “senit!” the microscopic tick has succeeded in form of fear It's won the battle Yet Covid is still here As I look on the ground (all around) the microscopic ticks are swarming in the air the dirty masks lay there… Breathless, weightless, thoughtless, penniless with an unconscious stare microscopic tick! -
2021-05
A Year to be Remembered
The start of quarantine was for me almost a blessing. A gate that locked us away from school for 2 weeks ironically gave me freedom. As these 14 days turned to weeks and weeks into a whole year, this “gate” that gave me freedom also locked me away from it. At first, I willingly mocked COVID because of how stupid it seemed. but reality struck as soon as one of my family members got it. It became a scary time in my life where both sides of the “gate” seemed like hell. I cried in the corner of my room and no one to reach out to as everyone in my family felt the same pain. As time was slowly ticking things I coped with my pain and things were looking brighter. This gate which kept me from reaching out to others was seemingly opening and I could feel like society going back to normal. It was only a matter of time when freedom unlocked this gate and give us a chance to be normal again. -
2021-05-18
Zach Pfalzgraf's Pandemic Story
Never in my life would I have thought that we would be facing a pandemic this big with all the modern technology we have. I was sure surprised and arrogant to think such as everyone can obviously tell. When the pandemic started, I was a junior at the University of Texas at the Permian Basin. The university is located in my hometown of Odessa, Texas. While attending there, I was also a full-time worker at a supermarket across the street from the university. One moment, we had shelves fully stocked and the next moment we had shelves completely bare because of people panic buying. Due to the people panic buying, my family and I panicked as well because we needed to get things like everyone else. Even when we had the things we needed, just because I worked in that supermarket and had to see it every day, I still wasn't really ever able to shake the feeling of anxiety and fear of what would happen to the supply routes the truckers use. It was a mess that I think no one had the answers for in the beginning. However, when public officials said to mask up and kept us up to date on the information they had, that's when we started to have our questions answered. Nonetheless, there were still some who denied this information that also included some ranks within our public officials that I think should have faced some sort of consequence in the long run. I got vaccinated with the Johnson vaccine once my phase of vaccine distribution came up and I still made sure to wear a mask for a great while to keep myself and others safe. This is an experience that I am sure we can all collectively agree on not wanting to repeat. -
2020-03-07
Shortages worldwide caused people to act violently against each other
When the pandemic began I would never forget how violently people reacted. Every time I stopped by a grocery store , supermarket or any store the lines were all the way to the back of the store and the lines outside of the store were incredibly long; all you could think about was how long you’d be standing outside and when it was your turn to go in would you even walk out with what you needed. In march of 2020 there was a brawl in Australia over toilet paper. I saw this video going viral on all social media platforms. Three women were recorded fighting in Sydney . Police were called to the scene when they received multiple calls that a woman had been assaulted. The lady had a shopping cart filled with packs of toilet paper leaving the rack empty so another lady grabbed one from her cart and that’s when the fight started . In the video footage you hear “ I just wanted one packet ”. It was heartbreaking seeing people be inconsiderate and violent over necessities . Many stores were experiencing shortages on toilet paper, Lysol, disinfecting wipes, alcohol, hand sanitizer and more. It was like you hit the jackpot when you were able to get your hands on those things . Supermarkets were also experiencing shortage in water and meats , the shelves in supermarkets located by me were completely empty at one point. I barely found good meat or packs of water when I needed to go food shopping. I felt like I had won the lottery when I did find what I was looking for . This pandemic has taught me that people will turn against each other if they have to. Instead of coming together as a community and helping each other out I saw very few good Samaritans give away essential supplies to those in need during this pandemic. -
2021-04-14
Reconsidering Taking the Vaccine
I live in Bronx, New York. When the pandemic struck, it affected everyone tremendously whether you contracted the virus or not. New York is a densely populated place and it immediately required a shut down of all day to day activities due to the soaring virus. It was so impactful that my school had to be closed and I could not go out with my friends on the weekends anymore due to the fact that all business places were closed. Many people in New York contracted the virus which at one point had the highest Coronavirus cases. It made my family and I very depressed to be stuck at home all day and worrying if anyone of us would be the next person to be personally affected by the virus. During the pandemic, which is still current, the introduction of the vaccine made me feel very relieved. Even though it is not a cure for the virus but it would help to fight the virus if you do contract it, and it also lessens the likeliness that it is contracted. This was such good news to my ears. When I found out that there were different types of the vaccines I was very skeptical about it because I wondered to myself about the different component that each might have. Following this, there was word that the Johnson and Johnson vaccine was causing bloodclots. This made me extremely scared to take any of the vaccines overall even though I want to be secured from the virus but I worry that the vaccine would not agree well with my body. This was a mental battle within my family if we want to take the vaccine or not. -
2020-06-08
A Balancing Act on Fire
Although the meme is meant to be comedic, I feel that it reflects the reality of the stressors many people faced during the pandemic. To begin, the anxiety that the coronavirus disease brought into the public severely affected the mental health of many individuals across the globe. During the mandated lockdowns, I , like many others around me, began experiencing a decline in my happy hormones. At the time the pandemic restrictions were being put into place, I was living on campus with three other roommates. With the fear of spreading the disease unintentionally, the three moved out of the dorm right away and I was left to be on my own due to personal housing issues taking place at the time. The lack of interaction with anyone took a toll on my mental health. I missed my friends and my mom, I just wanted to be around someone, but we could only have visitors if they were helping us move out. On top of personal mental health struggles, events taking place across the country were also scarring. Protests in response to racial injustice under an administration that made it hard to feel safe unless you were a white male in America only added to the helpless state of being. Watching cases upon cases of unjustifiable abuse made the environment only more threatening than it initially seemed when the pandemic was first reported. The election of November 2020 was suspenseful in terms of who would be elected could potentially determine vital living situations for people all across the United States, whether it be immigrant status, being a person of color, or not being able to afford paying for housing in general. Financial troubles took over the country and the stimulus checks were not enough to cover housing, food, home essentials, especially when some dependents and entire families were not able to receive help because of their citizenship or dependent status. Many tried to turn towards their faith, the keyword being “tried.” Although not all religions focus on gatherings or physical objects, many people were unable to get access to these common preferred forms of practice and felt that virtual gatherings seemed ingenuine or illegitimate. Overall, the COVID-19 pandemic had many more severe effects on a global scale in all aspects of life. From concerns of the health of others, oneself, finances, practice of faith, and fear of safety in your own home, the negative effects are consistent as it seems that everything continues to pose a threat to daily living. I hope that everything eventually falls back into place and that justice is put in place so that people do not have to fear their own existence. -
2021-04-22
Life During Covid
This story just tells what the world looked like during the Covid pandemic through my eyes. -
2021-04-14
Can You Ever Tell If A Decision Is Right?
My daughter has left our neighborhood less than five times in the past 13 months. I am not exaggerating. Now that the positivity rate in our area is 1.5%, we cautiously allowed my daughter to accompany me on a one mile run. You would have thought I’d taken her to Disney World. She was happier and more relaxed than she’s been in months. But she’s not a runner. She’s a competitive gymnast who hasn’t set foot in a gym in 13 months. She’s trained virtually with a gym in Northern CA and has worked out every single day. But we know it’s not the same. We also know that it’s time to create the team for the next season. It was time to contact her gym. We can keep promising she’s coming back but at what point is it just empty words? After a lot of prayer and internal debate, we texted her coach and said it’s time for her to come back. As you can see, she was initially scared at the idea, but that was quickly replaced by excitement when she found out she is really going back. But I have a pit in my stomach. Is it safe? Her coach isn’t vaccinated. Will my daughter be one of the children who contract it and have dire consequences? Or will her brother if she brings it home? How long can you keep a kid in a bubble? She already missed an entire season. Her mental health is so important, we know going back is going to be so amazing for that. But I am still so worried about the physical. One thing that this year has shown me is that I am an adult. I mean, obviously, I’ve been an adult for 22 years. But this year - protecting not only the safety of my children but my over 65 mom and in-laws. Advocating for the health of my students over politics. It’s like the pandemic has forced me to see that I can’t look to anyone to make adult decisions, it’s me. I’m the decision maker and these decisions can be life and death. I’m the adult. COVID has stripped that security we all had (probably foolishly). I don’t think I’ll ever feel safe again the way I did before this all began. So fingers crossed that my daughter’s journey back into competitive gymnastics is one that we can make safely. -
2021-04-03
Oral Interview with Toni Downs
Toni Downs is in a lead position at a hospital in Kansas. In this interview, Toni tells me about changes that have occurred at the hospital as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic. She also discusses the long term changes she suspects will stay in effect, such as visitation regulations to the hospital. Toni tells me about similarities and differences between this pandemic and the start of the AIDS pandemic. She also discusses how the number of people going to the emergency room have dropped significantly, more than 75% at the start of the pandemic. Toni believes if we all work together at stopping the spread, we will get this under control. However, she thinks many things may stay around for a while in the hospital setting, such as the before mentioned visitation rules, and even mask wearing, in order to protect hospital staff and the patients. I am researching the unexpected consequences of the COVID-19 pandemic, such as people skipping mammograms for fear of catching COVID at the doctors office. I chose to interview Toni for my research, due to her insider knowledge of the inner workings of a hospital. -
2021-04-03
COVID through a healthcare worker [PRIVATE Anonymous]
Working through a pandemic as a healthcare worker was terrifying. At the very beginning there were a lot of unknowns, and I felt lost, and alone. As I would go through my shifts as a CNA I had to be strong for my patients. I realized I would be going home to my family, but they were not. I was their "visitor" for the day. Patients could not just go outside for fresh air or wonder the halls to stretch their legs, they were confined to their room. Working in the hospital during this pandemic gave me a different perspective. While there were really hard days, there were also really great days. One of the best days was seeing a COVID recovered patient walk for the first time in months. It was times like this that made me realize that you are not granted tomorrow, and to enjoy each day to the fullest. I am so grateful for all the nurses, doctors, environmental services, secretaries, physical therapists, occupational therapists, case managers, and social workers who all came together to help our patients get through a challenging time. The song "Better Days" gives people hope that change and "better days" are near. The music video shows clips of people from all over the world and the impact this pandemic has on them. -
2021-03-24
Dreaming About This Day... But Now What?
Shot 2! After so many sleepless nights and moments of paralyzing fear, my husband, my 65 year old mom, and I are all officially double dosed! The day I have been praying for for months is here and I am in disbelief. But I’m also sitting here like “now what?” Are we really safe? Can I REALLY go safely and run in my canyon aside the maskless? I do trust the vaccine, but it is a huge psychological jump to suddenly trust. There’s also the issue of the two things I love most in this world - my kids. They’re not eligible for vaccines yet and I fear for them. I know, the likelihood of them having a serious complication is low, but as a person who had both the measles and scarlet fever as a kid (no, I’m not kidding), I am a walking example of the “one in a million” chance. What if they’re like me instead of their dad? I feel like I’m in a strange limbo. Definitely more hopeful than I was even a couple of months ago, but also sort of paralyzed in a sense of “what do we do now?” -
2021-02-15
One of my COVID-19 Case Investigations Experiences
I work as a COVID-19 medical investigator for the Arizona county in which I live. I recently called on a monolingual Spanish speaker who turned out to be a retirement-age mother of adult children and infant grandchildren. The first time we spoke, she very politely agreed to complete our medical interview by phone, and I began working through the initial demographics section. As she answered my questions, she began asking questions of her own regarding her potential experience and that of her family, all of whom were ill by that time or presumed to be positive due to extended close contact. The pace and tone of her speech evolved as her volume increased, and her intense emotional distress required no common language to comprehend. The primary source of her concern was her adult daughter who lived at another location with her two children. Our case feared her daughter had to have immediate help to even dial a phone, much less to care for herself and her children. The case wanted to break isolation at her home to travel to her daughter' home to aid her child and grandchildren, but, with the interpreter's help, we worked through her fears, established an action plan that allowed the case and her husband to stay home, and connected her daughter with medcal professionals to evaluate her circumstances and need for urgent intervention. The case and I agreed those needs superseded the interview as she was both aware and isolated, and we agreed to speak the following day. On callback, her emotions had completely turned around in that day, her daughter had been evaluated over the phone, acquired the information and guidance she needed, and the case believed her child and grandchildren were now safe and well. Throughout the roughly 90-minute translated interview, she repeatedly expressed her gratitude for our having called and helped her family and information and guidance. Despite the number of times our patients/cases have expressed anger, outrage, suspicion, or worse at our medical investigation and contact tracing efforts, this series of calls made them worthwhile. -
2021-03-21
Don’t Give Me COVID
For the past year, my husband has been the only one to do errands to keep the risk low. Anytime he went out, he showered and put his clothes in the laundry. No one has stepped foot inside our house in over a year. It may see extreme, but more than once during COVID, Southern CA was the country’s hotspot. We have been extremely cautious, and with both the death rates and people within our own circle who weren’t cautious getting infected during the winter spike, I do not regret our decision. Now numbers are thankfully declining and, even more significant, my mom (who lives with us) has received both doses of the vaccine and my husband and I should receive our second doses next week. Slowly, our lives will hopefully be able to open up a bit. But the moment captured here reminds me that the shift may not be as easy for our kids. My son, who hasn’t had a play date or left this street in months, flattened himself against the wall and refused to move when my mom came back from a Target curbside pick up. She didn’t even get out of the car but my son was terrified that she’d give him COVID. It’s going to be a long process to make them feel safe again. -
03/13/2021
Margaret Geddes Oral History, 2021/03/03
Interviwee Name: Margaret Geddes Interviewer name: Padraic Cohen Date of Interview: 3/13/2021 Location: Cochrane, Alberta Canada. Transcriber: Otter.ai + edits from Padraic Cohen Abstract: In this oral history, I interviewed my grandmother, Margaret Geddes on her pandemic experience as a senior. In particular, Margaret spoke about her youth growing up in rural southern Alberta, Calgary. Margaret grew up from a Roman Catholic family and she reflects on how religion changed for her throughout the course of the pandemic, as she was unable to goto in person masses; ultimately she believes her faith had been strengthened due to the pandemic. She also spoke about her experience with a prominent polio outbreak in Calgary in the 1950s and draws some interesting comparisons to the current pandemic. Margaret also goes onto speak about her experience with the COVID-19 vaccination, and shares her thoughts on the what it was like to sign up, receive and prepare for her next vaccination . She also spoke about how long she believes the pandemic will go on for, and how she will remain masking in public as a result of the pandemic skeptics out there. -
2021-03-17
A Reminder of the Realities of the Asian Women in My Life
On my way out to work today, my sister told me she loved me. It was an "I love you" filled with fear and uncertainty. I felt her words echo in my chest and I still feel them ringing in me as I write this post. Every Asian woman that I know and care about has experienced being undermined, fetishized, and harassed for being an Asian woman. For several of my close friends, this has led to sexual violence. I think that is why yesterday’s mass shooting targeting Asian massage parlors hit so hard for me. In his own words, he wanted to “eliminate the source of his temptations.” It takes a lot more than " being at the end of your rope" or “having a really bad day” for someone to commit such a heinous crime. Believing Asian women are submissive and hyper-sexual, calling covid “kung-flu” or the “china virus”, and taunting Asian women with “me love you long time” has real consequences. It dehumanizes Asian women and makes them objects. Objects are easier to harass, sexually assault, and kill. We can not dismiss racism, misogyny, and xenophobia against Asians anymore. Lives are at stake. -
2021-03-16
Surge in Hate Crimes Against Asian Americans
As the U.S. continues its battle against COVID-19, it is also battling a rise in hate crimes against Asian Americans. A recent report found that hate crimes against Asian Americans in major U.S. cities surged by nearly 150 percent in 2020 —even as the number of overall hate crimes fell. Stephanie Sy looks at how the violence has marred one community, and how they are coming together in its wake. -
2021-03-18
Illistration by Pauline C. Cuevas
During the pandemic, hate crimes against the AAPI community have significantly increased. Our people had been unjustly blamed by previous leadership for the virus, and little hateful comments here and there have now grown into full blown terrorist actions. THIS is why words matter. THIS is why leadership matters. I urge you to speak up, stand up and be an ally to the Asian community-- especially for our elders. We are hurting, angry and scared, but the future can be a brighter one if we stick together. I'm so grateful for the opportunity to make this piece for @calendow. I've noticed my own fear and uncertainty during these times. I worry for my kids and my family, but being able to use my art to shine a light during these dark times gives me courage. We can do this together. #ProtectOurElders #StopAAPIHate #AAPI #AsianAmerican #PeoplePower #Solidarity #RiseUp #womenshistorymonth #filipinaartist #sandiegoartist -
2020-06-24
Imagine being this fearful and demeaning to the community you're sworn to protect
"At the end of the day, if we live in the city, that means we have to shop where criminals that we arrest also shop,"MPD Police Union Director Sgt. Anna Hedberg responded in an interview with WCCO when asked if officers should live in the neighborhood they police. "And I don't know about you, but I don't want to go to Cub Foods with my two beautiful little girls and run into somebody that I've arrested for sex assault, shooting somebody, using heroin." Imagine being this fearful and demeaning to the community you're sworn to protect. -
2020-07-16
I Came to the Protest to Defend Human Rights
"I came to the protest to defend human rights. This movement isn’t about race versus race, it’s about dissolving the negativity that our world is creating. The Black community is struggling, literally fighting for their lives, and everyone needs to stand with them to help bring a better world so Black people don’t walk the streets in fear of being a victim of the system." - Oz at the Roll4Justice rally on July 4, 2020 -
2021-03-17
Opening Early Meme
As more and more vaccines are being given, it seems that soon we may be able to slowly begin returning back to normal. However, with mask mandates and restrictions falling off early across the United States, I remain fearful that we may experience another wave/peak. This meme demonstrates that anxiety. -
2021-03-14
Brenda Cohen Oral History, 2021/03/14
In this oral history, I interview my mom, Brenda Lee Cohen on her pandemic experience with a particular focus on her work with the Calgary police service as a crime and intelligence analyst supervisor. In this interview, Brenda talks about her initial experience with the COVID-19 pandemic, she recalls the first day of the pandemic as she and her husband were stuck in America. This particular interview touched upon what her work environment was like during the pandemic and topics such as systemic racism, the police ‘culture’ and the revocation of a popular program for city employees known as the ‘golden handshake’ in the midst of the pandemic. Brenda also spoke briefly about her experience with misogyny within the workplace and how these ideas are so prevent within a space which mixes the civilian and police worlds. Finally, Brenda also spoke about what she is most thankful for in this pandemic, and ultimately reflects on her own inability to express her thoughts and emotions – and how one day when she is out of the police environment, things will be different. Interviewee Name: Brenda Cohen Interviewer Name: Padraic Cohen Date of Interview: 03/14/2021 Location: Cochrane, Alberta Canada. Transcribed by https://otter.ai Partially transcribed by Padraic Cohen -
2020-03-11
Meet Generation C, the Covid generation
"Natalie Sanchez heard it in her children's voice when their birthday parties were canceled and saw it on their faces when they couldn't play with friends. It was more than just simple disappointment. It was fear that the world they once knew might have changed forever. "I think that it's something that's going to kind of scar them. I don't think that they'll forget," says the mom of three. Now, a year into a worldwide disaster it's no longer a question of if this pandemic will shape an entire generation, But how." -
2021-03-10
Doing my Part
In March of 2020 I am sure basically everyone's life took a spin and changed in some sort. With much fear around the Covid-19 virus going around and with little to no information and data behind it, many people throughout the world were very fearful of the virus. With basically everything shut down I lost the job that I had since I was 16. Being in college, I needed to make some sort of income. With everyone using delivery services such as FedEx, UPS, and Amazon to get their supplies, I decided that I could do my part in giving a hand to our fellow Americans during the pandemic. In my hometown, Amazon opened up a new distribution center shortly before the pandemic started. With the surge of everyone using amazon to get supplies the demand for jobs at amazon was high. Being a 21-year-old healthy man I decided to do my part and pick up a part-time job while still in school. This was a great experience for me because I was able to see how the operations behind such an impactful business work and do my part to help my fellow Americans get through the pandemic. -
2021-03-10
My daughter is afraid to start high school
My daughter has been going to a local public school district for 4 years. Some time during her eighth grader year (last year), while she was regimented to online schooling, she became brave and decided to share with the world her newly discovered sexuality as a lesbian. Now during her freshman year, she has been afraid to go to school in- person for fear of retribution from classmates and other schoolmates. -
2021-02-28
Building Trust in the Vaccine
When I was pregnant and going to birthing classes, I learned the terrifying rates of mortality for Black women giving birth. The numbers were horrifying, so there is no wonder to me why a high percentage of Black Americans do not plan on getting the COVID-19 vaccine. The American healthcare system has failed them. But a group of Black doctors are standing up to tell their communities that not taking the vaccine is to risk their life, and they deserve better. This video, shared to NowThisNews on twitter, describes what the doctors' message is and why it is so important. Black lives do matter, which is why these doctors are urging everyone to get the vaccine. The video states that more Black Americans have died from COVID than any other ethnic group. Hopefully, the vaccine will stop these deaths. -
2021-02
Vaccine Fears in the Black Community
This tweet is about the very real and valid fear that many black people have regarding the vaccine. The United States has a dark history of using black bodies for medical experimentation so it makes sense that this community would be wary of receiving vaccines for fear of them just being another medical experiment. This creates tension when paired with a mass push to vaccinate the whole nation and black peoples with very reasonable concerns against getting vaccinated. The goal now for black leaders is working to convince black people to still get vaccinated and trust this collective medical push. -
2021-02-24
The Coronavirus Affects Everyone
I know that the Coronavirus has impacted everyone’s lives in their own way. However, I never thought that Coronavirus would impact my family and me in the way that it has. My dad was a very healthy, active person with a strong immune system who hardly ever got sick. Then, one night out of the blue, he got a high fever and body aches. My mom and I assumed it was just the flu and that it would pass. Although after a week of him being sick, he began having severe breathing problems and the ambulance came to take him to the hospital where he was later admitted that night. Due to high precautions, the hospital wasn’t allowing any visitors, and we couldn’t even send cards or flowers. After a few days, we heard from the doctor that he tested positive for Covid-19. It was an absolute shock. My mind was in shambles and I couldn’t grasp the reality of what was happening. They started him on an experimental treatment immediately. Unfortunately, my dad was always too weak to talk on the phone or text, so we barely had any contact with him and only got information once every afternoon when the doctors called with an update. We patiently waited torturous weeks to hopefully hear of some recovery, but the treatment exhibited no improvement and his oxygen levels continued to decline. Then, on April 6th, we got a call from the hospital saying that his inflammation levels in his lungs were rapidly rising and the medications weren’t helping. They were going to put him on a ventilator, but the doctors didn’t seem hopeful that he would be able to come off it. They gave us his hospital room phone number so we could talk to him and give him any hope we had to offer. From the very few words we got out of him during the call, he told me that he was in pain and no matter how hard he tried to get his body to fight back, the virus was just too strong. That was easily the hardest day of my life. I felt like I was going to lose my dad forever without having the chance to say goodbye. Having to comprehend the fact that I may never get to see or hug my dad was absolutely heart-wrenching. Suddenly, after weeks of prayers and different medications, his body was finally responding to the treatment. The feeling I felt when I heard those words was something I couldn’t and cannot explain. Within about a week, his fever went down, and his lungs were starting to heal. It was a miracle. We couldn’t believe how quickly he was progressing. The doctors did one final Covid-19 test, and he finally came back negative. Soon after that, he was discharged and finished recovering at home. Currently, he seems to be doing much better, but he still has a long road of recovery ahead. -
2020-01-01
Surviving 2020 & COVID-19 Pandemic: Life As A College Student
As the ball dropped on New Year’s Day I embraced and kissed my boyfriend in excitement of what would await us in 2020, if only I knew. As we said our goodbyes to our friends we drove home on a side road to avoid the frantic traffic of drunk drivers and people rushing to get home. All I remember is driving in front of my boyfriend’s car and then waking up to him sobbing over me. My car lights were on, sunroof open, glass shattered everywhere, my blood stained on my wheel and purple bruises on ribs. Long story short I was smashed into by a drunk driver, my car flipped, rolled, and was finally crushed into a tree with me inside while my significant other watched it unravel before his eyes. This was my beginning to 2020 and I wished and hoped that it would only be better from there on but I was horribly wrong. On March 11th of 2020 I received an email from my university stating that it would be closed and urged all students to return home for the remainder of the semester. As many college students saw this as an extended spring break at the time we were all happy since it basically meant more partying. After week one passed of receiving the email I quickly realized that being isolated would be my downfall and it sure was. By the end of the Spring semester I had failed a couple classes and was desperately trying to crawl out of a depressive episode. Since I am, or rather struggling to be a nursing student still, failing my Anatomy and Physiology I class sent me into a spiral of what ifs and how my GPA would recover from these failed courses. The realization of retaking these courses in order to save my future and using my only two chances of “erasing” my unsatisfactory grades crushed me. I was shattered by this reality but continued to push myself through Summer term to ace these courses, I studied day and night sacrificing friendships and days out for an A. As Summer came to an end Fall came and I barely passed the classes online because I struggled to adapt and truly retain the material meanwhile peers in my class were either completely giving up or cheating their way through the online, remote exams. To add the cherry on top, I was battling my university’s Housing Board in order to cancel my dorm agreement because many COVID cases had been recorded in my building and my roommates still went out to clubs while not wearing masks. As the months passed and semesters came and went, I felt my sanity slipping and today I still sit in fear of my future. I struggle leaving my apartment due to the fear of exposure to COVID and accidentally passing it onto my only parent who suffers from lupus. This pandemic has truly crushed me and unfortunately it seems that I will be spending the remainder of my college life and 20s in this chaotic, barren, and lonely society where we only see each other screen to screen. -
2020-02-24
My Coronavirus Experience
In the beginning of the pandemic, I immediately realized how a large portion of the public was not focused on the virus itself, but the racial controversy of the virus' origin. This was unnerving to the core, because it is a fact that COVID-19 came from China. While it was unacceptable to accept this as fact, MERS literally stands for Middle Eastern Respiratory Syndrome. It is clear that there was a pro-CCP agenda being pushed in the background when propagating the "COVID Safety" spiel. As time went on, more and more inconsistencies began popping up. Beauty and barber shops closed, but Nancy Pelosi is more than welcome to get her hair done. Masks become required to enter any building or participate in society at all, but when the new President was sworn in, the spectators were sitting shoulder-to-shoulder and masks were few and far between. What my story says about the pandemic is that while we may have had a real potential global crisis, I believe things were skewed, twisted, and flipped so that it is most convenient for those who hold the power, and not done in the best interest of the American people. An example of this in real life was how the Los Angeles Lakers, Ritz Carlton, and Bank of America (per store) were able to get PPP loans, drain the pool of PPP money, and leave small business owners fighting for crumbs. I have linked a Washington Post article below that expands on the PPP loan problem and how our government failed small business. The pandemic I fear will have long-lasting, Orwellian effects on our society in the sense that those in power will continue to use fear mongering to control the public through COVID. Even though a vast majority of the population has already had it and are building antibodies, Western European-style, 1940s era vaccination cards are beginning to circulate. I fear these cards will be the new "gold star" or "Scarlet Letter'', except those without it would be barred from society, rather than those with it. In my opinion, COVID today is what AIDS was in the eighties. Lots of unanswered questions, lots of fear, and government intervention so that free thinking is minimized. These three, and you have a perfect recipe for controlling the masses. Both diseases were politicized to death, and public opinion of the disease swung back and forth with politicization. If AIDS was blown up to the proportion that COVID was, I couldn't imagine the backlash the political and science communities would get from a certain demographic of people who are very vocal and have a statistically higher likelihood of contracting HIV. I hypothesize that pandemic would turn into pandemonium. With that, my experience during quarantine was as expected. Mental health suffered due to lack of human interaction and ability to go outside, and physical health suffered due to inability to go outside and lack of motivation which was connected to mental health. The main positive thing from the pandemic I can identify is the performance of my stock portfolio. Even though I lost my job due to COVID, I was still able to afford rent, food, and supplies to stay hunkered down in my new $900/month prison for my three month sentence. Another big positive from the quarantine was my savings. The pandemic helped me realize how much unnecessary or emotional spending I do. It helped me point out lots of bad habits I have so I can work on fixing them. Things like spending money when I'm sad, and identifying vices that hold me back in my day-to-day. While the pandemic brought a lot of negatives to me and the world around me, I believe there are some positive things to take away from it. Opening your mind to more than what the government feeds you, appreciating every moment you have, embracing new hobbies, and learning how to maneuver through change. These are all things the pandemic has taught me, but if I had the option, I wouldn't do it again. In terms of being a part of history, simply by living you are a part of history. I was at Sloan-Kettering in NYC with my family getting a life-extending cancer treatment for my father when 9/11 happened. He was one of three patients that day because while in surgery, the first plane hit the towers. The rest of the patients to be seen that day were canceled. I suppose the point I am trying to make is that history is subjective. 9/11 wasn’t 9/11 to me. 9/11 was the day I was blessed with enough time to make some foundational memories of my father before he passed. It can be argued that since I have been invested in GameStop since November, I was a part of history there too. I went to the Game 7 Cardinals vs. Red Sox World Series Game in Fenway Park. The game that broke the Bambino Curse. Again, it could be argued that I was a part of history there too, except my three year old self was asleep for the last two innings. History is subjective, and every day, everyday people like you and I make history. Historians and memoirists will use these events in the future to write articles, make movies and tv shows, write books, and extrapolate many other kinds of art from it. However, most often historical stories are told through a lens of subjectivity, and because of that, eventually all history becomes skewed to the point where it is indistinguishable from fable. -
2020-03-13
The Silver Lining
On March 13th, the day after my birthday, I had treated myself to finally getting my septum pierced after wanting that piercing for months beforehand. Little did I know then that I would be almost the only one that has seen it in person since then. Two days after that, we had received an email from our university’s administration informing us that we would be allowed to leave school and continue classes online at home if we felt unsafe at school as concerns of the virus got bigger and louder with each passing day. The writing was on the wall; Duquesne University was going to be closing down. That email would come on the car ride back home an hour after me and my sister had already left campus. Once the semester was over and summer began, even with our own specific set of challenges, I actually feel my family was surprisingly equipped to handle the new world we were thrust into. Both of my parents are severely disabled; my mother has not been physically able to work for years and my father recently had to give up his floor cleaning services once his health gave out. As a family, we’ve found that we are much stronger together, and we “make it work” as they say. My mom did have a little fun in responding to our physically healthy friends and family talking about being trapped in their house for months on end with “Welcome to the club, you get used to it.” She was always (mostly) joking, of course, but I do think there is some truth to this joke. I grew up with a mom who rapidly succumbed to multiple debilitating chronic disorders, and that kind of circumstance opens your eyes to different experiences than many of your peers who did not experience the same. Listening to the words of more people than I can count who thought being disabled was all about staying home and collecting a check have now maybe had their opinions changed based on this new perspective, I hope so at least. This all being said, I also have to acknowledge the privilege I have in having a socially stable homelife. I personally know more than a few friends from school who had genuine, serious concerns for their mental or physical wellbeing when we were told everyone had to return home. I try to remember every day not to take what I have for granted. If the plague year has taught me anything, it is that I have a lot to be grateful for. -
2020-12-23
COVID-19 The Good, The Bad, and The Deadly….
COVID-19 The Good, The Bad, and The Deadly…. When the COVID-19 pandemic struck I was in the spring semester of my second year of nursing school. Being naïve and not having experienced a pandemic before, I expected COVID-19 to breeze in and out like the flu every year. What I didn’t expect was a deadly virus that would leave behind it a path of death, despair, and devastation. One of the biggest areas in my life that was impacted by COVID was my education. As classes moved to virtual platforms there was a major learning curve for both students and professors. CDC guidelines and social distancing made it difficult to find areas on campus to study and next to impossible to study in groups. My friends and I worried about our lack of clinical experiences and how that was going to impact our future. Since I had virtually no clinical hours during my specialty rotations, not only was I unsure of my skills, I was also unsure of where I wanted to take my nursing career. Returning to work over winter break was also very challenging. I am a patient care assistant and medication technician at an assisted living facility. All throughout the summer I worked with the threat of COVID looming above my head like a dark cloud. It was the first time in my life that I felt people really depended on me. I understood that my actions impacted the health of others. Fortunately, my residents all remained safe. However, I was not prepared for my return a few months later. The residents were no longer allowed to have visitors and they started testing positive for COVID. At one point we started to run low on personal protective equipment, but we were still trying to take all the precautions that we could to keep us and our residents safe. It was heart breaking to be the one holding a residents hand as they passed away due to coronavirus. My job became a lot more difficult having to communicate with families and watching their final moments with their loved ones. The residents that were lucky enough to not contract the virus were lonely and couldn’t understand why they had to quarantine. They felt abandoned and afraid. It was a very trying time for all my coworkers since we were all working overtime due to our staffing shortages. Working overtime was both physically and mentally draining. Even on my days off I was called in because staff members were getting sick and were unable to come in. It was mentally exhausting because every day I would come in to work and be nervous to walk in to report and see who had passed in the hours I was gone. COVID-19 also brought about some remarkable changes. I have spent a lot more time with my family as we have discovered our new passion-hiking. My co-workers and I have a new appreciation for one another and take the time to have meals together and support one another to make sure we are doing okay mentally. I have been part of innovative changes like my COVID-19 remote patient monitoring job and positive experiences at the COVID vaccine clinic. I have seen the medical and scientific communities collaborate on treatment guidelines and the development of a vaccine. It has also been an incredible period for change and innovation. -
2021-02-09
INTO THE UNKNOWN
My oldest friend—let's call her Dr. Z— is an infectious disease specialist. She has been working on an AIDS vaccine for decades now, so when COVID came along, it was traumatic for her in a different way. COVID has commonalities with AIDS and she was grim about vaccine prospects. Thankfully, a year later we are all getting vaccinated as a Herculean national effort unfolds. A few days ago New York State announced that pregnant women could now join the ranks of the vaccine-worthy, so my pregnant cousin asked me if I would ask my friend if it was safe. Dr. Z has two daughters, also both doctors in busy New York City hospitals. This was the exchange we had. And now, I ask you...what would you do?