Items
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frustration
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2024-07-27
College Durring Covid, a Reflection
This document is a reflection on the pandemic. It is written in a stream of consciousness style. -
May 5th, 2020
Covid: Should We Re-open? A poll
Is it too soon to reopen all businesses on Staten Island? I wanted to reopen, but I was nervous. My parents are old and this kind of poll result really frustrated me. -
2020-08-05
Only Student on Campus: My First and Second Year at College
The item that I am submitting describes my life as a student throughout my senior year of high school toward my first year of college. I emphasized the feeling of being alone and dealing with the college on a fully virtual level. As months passed it was important to validate the experience and the growth from being in an online setting to an in-person setting. -
2021-07-23
Vaccination Cards - HIST30060
These are vaccination cards, little pieces of cardboard given to you after a COVID vaccination to both remind you of when your next dose is due and to prove that you got the jab. Legal proof was a major part of the COVID pandemic and perhaps one of its most frustrating parts. I despised incessantly needing to prove that I was vaccinated and without any COVID-like symptoms to do everyday tasks like shopping, visiting the doctor or going to my classes. To make it all easier, I kept these cards as proof of my vaccination. I also kept them as a souvenir. I was cognisant of the fact that we were living through an event which would alter the course of world history, although I didn’t know how. I thought that they would be a nice piece of material history to show people when they ask what living through the pandemic was like. -
0022-08-18
Hearing Aids
In the audio-file I tried to manipulate the sounds to reflect some of the ways I interpret the world as a Hard of Hearing woman during the Covid-19 pandemic. I want the listener to be able to feel the frustration as they listen and try to understand the story. The pandemic has forced many of us to adapt. This is my story. -
2022-07-02
Taking Care of My Grandma During COVID
This is a story of taking care of my grandma during COVID. A lot of the time I was employed as a caretaker for my grandma overlapped with the height of COVID. -
2022-06-25
Learn how the government works
This is a tweet by StabbyandSpicy. This person is expressing their frustrations over their mom getting COVID, and the Supreme Court decision on Roe v. Wade being overturned. -
2021-08-10
Get vaccinated so I can communicate again.
Caption to post: As I’m sure you’ve seen and experienced, mask mandates are starting to come back. In stores, offices, and on my college campus as well. As a person with hearing loss, masks make it so difficult me for me to communicate. I rely so heavily on lipreading, seeing how the mouth moves when speaking, to understand what is said. Without lipreading, my speech recognition is around 16%. This means with masks, I can only absorb 16% of all interactions - that is incredibly isolating. When I go back to the classroom in September, it’s going to be so difficult to navigate the classroom setting when I can’t understand anyone. My teachers will have clear masks provided, but what about during group work or when students ask questions that I might also have? I’m going to completely miss out on the college experience I’ve been longing for for a year and a half because people won’t get vaccinated. I’m tired of disclosing my hearing loss to check out at a store. I’m tired of constantly fighting for closed captioning for online lectures. I’m tired of living in a pandemic where we have a solution to end it. Vaccines work. Vaccines save lives. Getting the vaccine means you’re helping deaf and hard of hearing people get back to a place where they can communicate again. SAVE this post and SHARE to spread awareness. This topic is NOT talked about enough and it’s something that affects the deaf and hard of hearing community every single day. ID IN COMMENTS -
2022
Not a Normal Year for Teachers
This post shows an example of teachers supporting each other through the end of the 2022 school year. In many different places, people are acting as if life is "normal" again. Schools are not requiring masks or sanitation procedures, school is in session like normal, in-person assemblies, activities, and sports are occurring. However, teachers can definitely tell that everything is not normal, and our job continues to be increasingly more difficult. -
2022
Teachers are Tired
Now that we are ending the 2022 school year, many people have "returned to normal". Most students no longer wear masks in schools. However, we are still working through the pandemic. Teachers are still at risk for contracting COVID and are navigating the severe behavioral problems of students. With summer approaching, everyone is looking forward to a break from an extremely stressful year. -
2020-03-20
The Perspective of a Drunk Teenager on COVID-19: Snapchat Memory
This was a Snapchat Memory I found from the end of the 1st week of the initial Covid lockdown. I was bored, so I got drunk in my closet by myself to have a good time. I found this video to be insightful to my perspective of how I felt about Covid at the time. -
12/15/2020
David Huber Oral History, 2020/12/15
C19OH -
10/27/2020
Henry Wathan Oral History, 2020/10/27
This interview was recorded as part of The Covid 19 Oral History Project, a project of the IUPUI Arts and Humanities Institute associated with The Journal of a Plague Year: A Covid 19 Archive. This interview was conducted through the University of Cincinnati in partial fulfillment of credit for HIST3158 under the supervision of Dr. Rebecca S. Wingo. -
2021-05-28
HIST30060 Frustration over lockdown restrictions in Victoria
This is a short sentence sent into the Herald Sun newspaper just after another lockdown had been announced, that says quite simply 'Daniel Andrews, just get out of my life.' This sentiment has grown throughout the course of the pandemic, as people feel very frustrated with their freedoms being restricted, if only temporarily. Thus, this item reflects the debate around pandemic restrictions- while some see them as necessary to stop the spread, others question either the need for them or their harshness. -
2020-04-16
Covid Consolation Puppy
A week after the first shutdown began in March of 2020, schools were shut down and I was no longer able to complete my student teaching. I was furloughed from my job and locked inside for what we originally thought would be two weeks. With no end to the lockdown in sight and nothing to do, it became stressful and quite boring. Living with my parents at the time, the entire family was locked inside and tensions were high. One day, my mom got a call from a former coworker whose dog had just had puppies a month prior. She offered us a puppy and my mom, knowing how sad I was at not having a job or an internship, accepted and I was able to pick any puppy I wanted. Freyja, my dog, was my Covid-consolation-puppy. She was very young and I was up all night and all day with her, potty training and playing with her. My time was entirely consumed by this puppy and I was never bored or alone again. We joke that she was a consolation puppy because I never got to complete the typical training any teacher before received. A few months after the first shut down ASU canceled graduation and went virtual, it was another blow, and knowing I would not be able to walk the stage to get my degree was tough to handle. However, Freyja made things easier and took my mind off things. She grew with me and she became my best friend and protector. When I moved out, she kept me safe. When I separated from a long-term partner, she was what I found joy in. I love my dog very much because she came into my life when I needed her most. -
2021-10-01
Ironic meme
A friend of mine who is a nurse and cared for people with Covid throughout the pandemic sent this to me after the vaccination was available for 7 months and she was still caring for patients who didn’t believe in the vaccine or who weren’t yet convinced to get it. It speaks to the burnout and frustration on from line workers. -
2021-10-04
Restaurant Employees' Experience during COVID-19
Restaurant Employees’ Experience during COVID-19 The norms of life pre-COVID are not the norms we are experiencing now. We all get accustomed to our ways of living, and then our lives have changed in a blink of an eye. I am a server in a restaurant and walk out each shift with cash in my hands. March 19, 2020, my life changed. I was a college student that lived day today when it came to my income, and for six weeks, I did not have an income to help with the bare necessities of living. However, I was very fortunate that my parents were the lucky ones that still had jobs, and they were able to help me until the restaurants opened back up. I have learned the importance of saving money. The experience of working in a restaurant during COVID-19 was unlike any experience I had in the past. Everyone was required to wear a mask, and the interaction with the guests was unnatural. The guests not being able to see our expressions and not hearing us clearly, I felt we lost the customer service our guests expected. It was challenging to breathe with the masks as the restaurant industry is fast-paced, and at times we would get overheated, nauseous, and did not feel well. I was always ready to go home so I could take off my mask. To-go sales now are a much more significant part of the restaurant business. The challenge with the increase in to-go orders is the design of the kitchens. They are designed to handle the projected sales based on experience, and when to-go sales became unlimited, the time to prepare meals doubled in time, and guests were unhappy. Many did not understand that the kitchen can only produce some much product per hour. It eventually got to the point that the restaurant would have to turn off their phones because the kitchen was at the maximum number of orders that they could produce. Trying to keep the guests happy was a challenge. If we took unlimited to-go orders, then the cook times were doubled. However, if we limited the number of to-go orders, the guests would also be unhappy. It will be interesting to see if the restaurant industry gets back to the norms of pre-COVID. -
2020-03
A thank you, and a few questions
I attached a letter I wrote to my senior year English teacher and forwarded to the administration after my high school canceled the rest of my in-person school year in March 2020. When reading it, the reader should specifically acknowledge the timeline and therefore lack of information surrounding the pandemic, as well as the personal memories incorporated. This letter houses pent-up frustration, unfiltered emotion, and a lack of education surrounding the pandemic. As an 18-year-old who just lost the remainder of her senior year, I cater to selfish and emotional tendencies. The reader should recognize that I composed this letter before the CDC, scientists, and government disseminated lots of information and education about the virus, so it embodies the unawareness and confusion that surrounded the pandemic. Aside from that context, the reader should acknowledge the remembrances incorporated into the letter – through imagery and specific quotes, my memories and mourning become more internalized. Clearly, these images and memories can only be understood by members of the high school class or close peers. However, these details such as “alter ego outfit”, “alpha omega day”, and “mudslide” speak to personal experience during the pandemic and allow for my specific outlook. The letter I wrote bears lots of significance on my experience during the pandemic by allowing me closure and unleashed emotion. As a senior in high school when the pandemic hit, I never received closure with teachers, classmates, sports teams, etc. This letter gave some semblance of finality with my school’s administration and allowed me to express my concerns in an unfiltered fashion. Although reading the letter itself a year and a half later allows me to reflect on my emotions, the experience of actually writing the letter will never leave me either. I sat at my laptop, brainstorming what to write for an English busy-work assignment. I found it difficult to care about school anymore, after I had committed to Vanderbilt, and school moved to zoom. But, quickly, putting my feelings to paper resulted in an outpouring of passion, both positive and negative, and I cried, not sure why. Rereading the letter, as embarrassed as I am about my trivial concerns, I still return to the place of uncertainty, anger, and volatility. Even though I expressed lots of shallow ideas, the letter still bears relevance to me, as I’m proud of my honesty and vulnerability during that time. -
-0021-08-31
Anger, Frustration, and Hope
In December of 2020 my family went to Florida to pick up our eldest daughter. All but one of us tried to be diligent in wearing masks, distancing and reducing the risks as much as possible. Yet despite that a week later, on Christmas day, my husband started feeling tired and slept most of the day. That was as bad as it got for him. The following Monday we were all feeling ill and I was in the car line being tested, it was positive. On New Years Eve I went to the hospital by ambulance with my oxygen levels in the low 80's. I couldn't say goodbye to my four kids (two in college and two in high school) because I didn't want it to be a final goodbye. I spent ten days in the hospital. Thankfully the constant oxygen, medications and antibody therapies did their job and I didn't need to be intubated. However, the virus wreaked havok on my body. My eyes hurt and would not focus, my body and joints ached, my focus and cognitive function was shot. I struggled to find balance and felt like I weighted a thousand pounds (heavy, oppressive weight). I struggled for breath yet the oxygen took its toll as well leaving painful ulcers in my nasal cavity and after two months of oxygen, a hole in my sceptum. My sugar levels were dangerously high and difficult to regulate and I shifted from a daily pill to needing four shots of insulin a day. It has been eight months and my body still has not returned to any sense of normalcy. I still struggle with controlling my sugar levels. My cognitive recovery has been slow and things that would take an hour in the past now take three or four (like reading and analysing text). I struggle with exercise as my lungs still have not healed. Even walking up a flight of stairs leaves me in tears as I struggle for breath and feel like I'm drowning. I have to divy up my workable time because my body will only do so much before it gives out. I struggle with odd symptoms. I struggle to sleep and struggle to stay awake. I also struggle with depression and self worth. I now feel like a burden. No, I am not suicidal, but I would be lying if I didn't admit that there are so many times when I feel like my family (my spouse in truth), would be better off without this new version of me. They don't understand why I can't do what I did before and doesn't believe in COVID or vaccines or wearing a mask. It's all media propoganda meant to promote a socialist agenda. I only got this sick because I was overweight and had diabetes before COVID. It cuts like a knife when you hear things like that and when it feels like someone doesn't care enough to want to do what they can to protect the ones they say they love. Maybe that's my biggest takeaway from all of this. It's redefining who I am and how I percieve the people around me. The people I thought loved me the most, who I loved the most. It's opened my eyes to the divisions and the anger that run deeper than just the pandemic. But I've also seen the depth of human compassion and love. Friends who made sure my kids had food and whatever else they needed when they were quarantined. The staff at the hospital who ran themselves ragged caring for patients. My nurse practitioner who has been on this journey with me the past eight months and worked diligently to help me recover. The students I've worked with who adapted and were more accepting and flexible in all of this mess than their parents, as they learned new ways of learning. It gives me hope that while there is bad in this world, there is so much good. -
2021-08-14
F$%K COVID cookie
I bought two of these cookies to take to my friend's house when I went to visit her under the 'single bubble' program during Melbourne's lockdown 6. They're from a store called Mad About Cake in Caulfield South. -
-2021-06-20
Losing Connections with Older Relatives and with Their Life Knowledge
I am an individual over 60, which means that my aunts, uncles, and cousins are also over 60, and several are in their 80s and 90s. Luckily I haven’t been separated from family members younger than me, but because of the health and safety concerns for older individuals, I haven’t been able to meet with these older family members during the pandemic. I’ve found that my older family members don’t enjoy connecting through technology, as they know that doing so, although better than not connecting at all, is a poor substitute for face-to-face connections. Trying to communicate over Zoom results in frustration and dissatisfaction for people who are used to another way of communicating, a way where body language, touch, and energy are important components of the conversation. So the level of connection with these individuals has declined greatly during the pandemic, as we haven’t been able to meet in person and our technology-driven connections have been unsatisfactory or infrequent. The lack of connection is particularly sad as this demographic is more likely to fall ill with the virus or suffer another illness, or even death, and I may not have another chance to see them. I’ve lost an uncle to the virus this past year already. I’ve gone without seeing friends this past year, but I fully expect to be able to see them again in the future; with my older family members, this connection in the future is far less certain. The lack of connection is also sad because these individuals have lived long lives and encountered hardships, including diseases and public health scares, and their advice and history would be sources of comfort and knowledge for these times. -
2020-05-07
A College Student During The Pandemic
For my primary source, I selected an essay that was written by me my first semester in my Psychology class. I don’t exactly know the date it was made or submitted, there were question we were supposed to respond in our own way but it’s not able to be provided anymore. But we wrote it as a final in order to express the way we felt during the pandemic, also to see how our mental and our physical changes during this rough time. My professor which was called Dr. Marjorie wanted to know everyone’s story in our own words and the different perspectives that came from the students, which she enjoyed doing. I lived in New York the area of the country hardest hit by the first wave of the pandemic. I was afraid when the outbreak got worse day by day, watching how this changed every human being because no one was prepared for all this chaos that was happening. I didn’t know on March 10 that this outbreak was on campus which is why we couldn’t come back until further notice to protect us from contracting COVID. Seeing the news and watching the death tolls go up by the hour of the amount of people dying in the hospitals and others contracting the virus was horrifying and sad to watch. That’s all they gave on the news which made me paranoid and decided to stop watching it during the entire quarantine. The way I saw how the streets were empty, New York wasn’t the same anymore it looked very dull and sad as if it was the end of the world not seeing anyone outside walking or any cars either. Everything was limited especially in the supermarkets having a limit capacity of people in it, the long lines were unbearable. Not being able to go out being of how paranoid I was being around people, I lasted about 1 month and 3 days home without going out only when it was necessary to go out. I selected this important source because I want historians of the future to understand my situation as a college student living through this pandemic. Having to go from classes in person to virtual classes in a snap of a finger that’s when my frustration started, not being able to understand anything without seeing the professor to explain it to me. I had to do everything on my own without anyone’s help. Stressing me out completely, which caused drastic changes to me during quarantine. My appetite wasn’t at its best having to do so much work at a time with all my classes especially being a full time student wasn’t easy for me because I never took breaks only when I was called to eat. My body started to fail on me feeling weak, tired, and constant headaches. That’s when it all went downhill my anxiety started to crawl up on me, I didn’t know how to control it anymore because coping with it was difficult having all of these constant breakdowns, feeling tight to the chest and shaking as if I was nervous. I’ll have all that through the stress and overthinking it caused because I didn’t want to feel like a failure. Putting pressure on myself caused lots of harm which had consequences to it later on. Then I started to lose weight, not being able to wake up the same anymore as if I had no energy to do anything throughout the day. I was afraid of having a panic/anxiety attack which were the worse. I endured depression along the way as well, I started to get sick out of nowhere without having anything. The pandemic really messed me up mentally. -
2020-12-14
Frustrations of Virtual Meetings Skit in ASL
blakey_mx3 highlights the frustration of virtual meetings during lockdown in a comical skit. -
2020-09-22
Mask Sign at Retail Store
This image of a sign at a store, posted on Facebook, hit home with the woman who posted, whose daughter works for a retail store and had recently dealt with an extremely aggressive customer. While there is not information regarding where this sign was posted, many small businesses who want to protect their employees are posting similar messages to express their frustration with those refusing to follow mask ordinances and store policies. Stores and restaurants are often private property, meaning that even if states don't require precautions such as masks, businesses are still allowed to have their own requirements before allowing customers to enter. -
2021-02-14
Journal - Starting the Service Industry Collection
This journal entry excerpt, written in February, expresses my frustrations with the experiences my friends and I have had working in the service industry during the pandemic, and why it is important to document that experience. During a time in which there has been a great deal of coverage about working from home, those of us without the option to had to adapt to the new procedures in an attempt to keep ourselves safe, and were often met with more aggression and defensiveness from customers than before. While some of this entry is me airing my frustrations, it gives insight into how I was feeling at the end of my time working for the service industry. -
2020-12-30
Beyond Control
Kelsie Grazier talks about her hearing loss, the uncertainty of pregnancy during Covid-19 and how both are heavily influencing her art. Her story resonates with me as I loose my own hearing and seek out representation in a world that ignores deafness. Kelsie Grazier's story resonates. Especially with the daily frustrations Covid-19 has brought upon us. -
2021-03-06
This is not how this is supposed to go.
Friday, March 13, 2020, was my last full day in the office before the shutdown. We came home that night not knowing what was next. Then my sister called. Things hadn't been right for a couple of weeks, she said, and when she had been to the doctor that morning he ordered her directly to the MRI lab. And there it was. Cancer. The exact same kind that had taken our mother a few years ago. And our grandmother several decades ago. Dammit. So what do you do? You get on a plane, you go there tomorrow, and you face this thing together, as family, right? Except no. It's COVID time, and only one person was even allowed to accompany her to the hospital for surgery three days later. We all decided that my other sister should be there, since she has medical expertise and also a more flexible schedule. But yeah. Here I am, on the other side of the country, not knowing whether my sister would live through the day and not able to go be with her. It's a year later, and I'm very relieved to say that she's still with us, lasting far longer with this diagnosis than either our mother or grandmother did. Still very much in the fight. But thanks to this damned disease, and to everyone whose stupidity has caused it to last longer and be worse than it had any need to be, I have seen her exactly once in the last year. For about ten minutes. Right before her second surgery. Will I get to see her again? Who knows? We have a trip planned in a few months, if things get better with this pandemic. And if she lasts that long. It's sad and exhausting and infuriating and unchangeable. -
2021-02-05
Across The South, COVID-19 Vaccine Sites Missing From Black And Hispanic Neighborhoods
An article and short podcast discussing how difficult it is to get vaccinated in Black neighborhoods, mostly due to lack of vaccinations and locations. -
2021-02-17
Vaccination Blues
My homeland, Orange County, has not been a place to be very proud of during COVID-19. Between anti-maskers, inept leadership, lack of transparency, and inequity in access to both COVID-19 testing and vaccines, this year has been a roller coaster in our little coastal chunk of CA. The vaccine roll out has been a massive headache. For the past month on Instagram, I see post after post of people younger than I who are getting their vaccinations because they live in another part of the state or country, while locally it's only health care workers I know that have been able to be vaccinated. Although other parts of CA (and the country) have begun to vaccinate teachers and food workers, Orange County is stubbornly (as I was told in a meeting today) waiting until 50% of the over 65 population is vaccinated before they open it up to the next tier. Though this causes me endless anxiety - will I be able to get a vaccine before my high school of 2500 opens for in person instruction - the one relief of the week was that my 65 year old mother was FINALLY able to get a vaccination appointment. The Othena system is a joke - she tried numerous times and couldn't get an appointment for the supposed super pods. Kaiser is still only vaccinating 75+! The Nextdoor app clued us in that a local hospital (where my mom has her insurance) was starting to vaccinate. Despite logging on in the very beginning of February, the earliest appointment she could get is for March 3. She took it, but I wanted to keep searching, because I worry that if the next Tier opens, she may have trouble getting a second shot if she waits until March 3. Nextdoor again clued me in to Rite-Aid, where a friend of my mom's outside OC got her vaccine. Best part - you go directly through Rite Aid, so no Othena! Success! My mom made her appointment on Saturday for tomorrow. We were jubilant! I told both my best friends about the Rite Aid trick, and within three days, they had their elderly family members signed up. Today, an hour after my best friend texted me that her dad got his Rite Aid vaccine, my mom sent me her cancellation message. Apparently the current winter storms have delayed the arrival of vaccines. My mom got lucky again, because it turns out that our school district is vaccinating employees 65+. Though retired, because she is a part time employee, my mom received an invitation today. Once she got the Rite Aid cancellation, she made her an appointment with the school district. Tomorrow is the first day the school district is vaccinating, so we have no idea what to expect, and are a little nervous because her insurance is not one of the carriers of the school district. Fingers crossed that she can still get it! Though I am genuinely happy for everyone getting vaccinated, it is frustrating that it is so much work here to try and get one. Using the Othena site hasn't worked for anyone I know - everyone I know has been vaccinated through their work or somewhere like Rite Aid. Honestly, if I see another post of someone with their vaccination card with a "do your part!" message I am going to throw my phone at the wall. I do want to do my part, if only Orange County would get their act together and manage this whole roll out better. Come on Orange County, you can do better. -
-2021-02-13
Covid-19 Experience
poem The world was fine, Because we were all able to physically intertwined. We were able to roam the streets freely, Walk the park carelessly, Praise in church effortlessly, And enter our homes easily. For the past year, Livelihood has been invaded by a monster called covid-19. The WHO has declared a world pandemic. New protocols in place in order to win drastically. We are told to stay indoors, Wash our hands frequently and wear a mask when outdoors. No more social gathering, visiting friends or family. Life has become a solitary If we disobey, The monster virus will lend our life journey. Thousands have been killed and millions affected. It attacks the human lungs, That makes breathing feel like misery. Compared to the flu, It makes one sneeze and cough, With unbearable body pain. We just got to keep praying that God keeps and protects us during this time. Despite the introduction of a weapon vaccine to take control. The frustration, anxiety and fear kicks in daily. Still wondering when will life return to normalcy. -
2021-02-07T18:36
Mask Trash
This is a photograph of a mask discarded on the side of my yard, in the desert where many animals such as coyotes, quail, javelinas, and rabbits make their homes. I have seen much pandemic-related trash discarded on the sides of the road, on sidewalks, and in people’s yards during this pandemic: hand sanitizer bottles, masks, wipes, etc. With the pandemic has come an increase in the use of disposable materials such as these, adding to environmental degradation and displaying a disregard both for people and for animals. This photo of mask trash shows a toxic side effect of the pandemic and a reminder that people need to use non-disposable items whenever possible and show respect for our natural environment by not throwing things away in this manner. -
2021-02-28T10:55
No shots for you!
This picture shows what I get when I try to schedule a COVID-19 vaccination through the Arizona Department of Health Services website. I'm basically out of luck for the time being. It is good that a vaccine is available now and the end of the pandemic is in sight, but the process is frustrating. While I understand that our state agency had to develop their website in a short time, they've known for months that vaccines were on the way. Their site is needlessly complex, buggy, and non-informative. I initially got hung up on a page that required me to enter my health insurance information; it took several tries and a few phone calls to figure out exactly what I needed to enter in each of the fields. Once I get through, I can't find an open appointment. There is no indication on the webpage, but it seems that the system returns no open appointments for me because I am not yet eligible. My mother who is more than 75 years old has managed to get an appointment and get her first shot. I'm concerned that many other people, particularly the elderly who need the vaccination more than others, will not get access to them because they will not be able to navigate through the website. I have read a number of media reports about this. It seems like poor planning to set up a process that relies on individuals to use the internet without offering an alternative. -
2020-10-21
Spend time doing what matters to you most.
During the COVID-19 pandemic I have had to surmount multiple extremely challenging situations that were only made even more difficult by the pandemic, including the death of my last grandparent. As someone with pre-existing conditions, I usually have to be very careful about not just protecting myself when I leave my house in Chandler, Arizona, but making sure I don't spread any disease to my family. When I got the news that my Grandmother probably didn't have much time left due to her cancer, it was extremely distressing for several reasons. The main reason was the fact that I was losing my grandmother, but one factor that was just as, if not more distressing, was the question of how to be able to best safely spend time with her. After a long discussion with my family, I made it clear that just being on video chat or on the phone with my grandmother was not enough; I wanted to find a way to travel to her house in Kansas, and physically be there for her. It was not an easy decision to make, especially when one takes into account that my method of transportation was to fly, which made me very nervous as someone with pre-existing conditions. Fortunately, I was able to take a safe flight to Kansas, but I was shocked to find family visiting my grandmother from out of state that not only refused to wear masks around her, even though she had virtually no immune system left. Despite such stressful conditions, I was able to spend a week with my grandmother just before she passed away, even though COVID-19 made it very hard. The fact that I was able to do such a thing is striking to me, especially when compared to the vast amount of people around the world who aren't able to spend time with loved ones infected with COVID-19 before they pass away. Looking back, I am very lucky I did not get sick, and I was even more lucky that flights were beginning to become regularly available again after they had been shut down earlier in the year. Most of all, I feel very grateful that I was able to spend time with my grandmother, especially when so many people are dying alone all over the world, leaving families distraught, and without closure. -
2021-01-21
How We Lost the Summer
I used a meme for an item to describe my Quarantine and I thought it was a good example of what quarantine was like for me since I don’t like showing others especially my parents that I’m having a hard time even when I’m really stressed about so many things at once. 2020 in five words is boring because nothing new was going on since we had to quarantine, lonely because I couldn’t hang out with my friends, slow because every day was pretty much the same and it felt like it wasn’t going to end, different as well as frustrating because we had to learn in a new way and it’s not something that I’m really comfortable with especially with our wifi sometimes being really slow so it makes the meeting laggy. The holidays were barely any different from a regular day except for the fact that there was more food and on Christmas, we had gifts to give and receive. My workspace isn’t really much, just a desk with my school books and binders on the side, my computer in the middle, and a snack for the day in front of my black table lamp on the other side with my school supplies in the drawer. Three things I would include in a quarantine survival kit is my phone/book so I have something to entertain myself with, fuzzy blankets since they’re really soft and I like being cocooned in it and lastly is a bunch of boxes filled with snacks since I like to eat when I watch or read something. -
2021-01-01
New year, new goals
For this new year I have many goals and aspirations. One of them being that COVID goes away (I know that is not how it works). I want to go back to regular life and be able to see everyone’s smiles. I do not want to be shamed for going out to get food instead of staying home 24/7. I do not want to have to take my temperature three times before going to work. Something else I want to change, is that I want to stop living through historical events. I am a history major and I prefer to read history books, not live through them. It seems that in 2020, if it wasn't something that was going wrong, it was another. I will be graduating in May and one of my biggest goals, although I do not have control over it, is to have a ceremony. I am a first generation graduate and I know my family and friends have been waiting for this day. I also want to get into graduate school and continue my education journey and continue to grow. This year I seem to have a lot more goals and resolutions than I have in the years past. -
2020-09-21
Friends During COVID-19
Having to quarantine due to the COVID-19 outbreak has made me realize that people are not worth it. Many times during quarantine I have found myself not talking to any of my friends or anyone from school. This could be either because they have not reached out or because I haven’t reached out. Well if you know me I am always the one who will make the plans and will reach out first to ask to hang out. But quarantine has made me realize that nobody reaches out to me to talk or to hang out and if I hadn’t reached out we wouldn’t be talking to me or hanging out with me if I didn’t. Now what am I supposed to do wait around until somebody reaches out or should I try multiple times to reach out. What I have done now is reached out to new people because at this point I don't care what people think of me because I know it will negative in some way. So by me reaching out to new people I won’t have to waste my time on people who don't care about me and I can find people who do. -
2020-12-17
How COVID-19 Affected My Daily High School Life
This is a journal entry I created when school started online learning. At the time, I was frustrated and upset at the online learning, but now I have been able to adapt and overcome the adversity our society faces. Covid-19 has greatly impacted my family. I have been continuously doing online school at California high school and at DVC. I personally strongly dislike it. We are staring at a computer all day for classes and to do homework. The online classes make me tired and lazy. With sports pretty much stopped, it is hard to go outside and practice all by yourself. For my dad, his work has been greatly affected. His workload has dropped and he has constant precautions for his employees. He almost even had to shut down. For my sister, she was finally able to college three months late. They might also cancel her soccer season at UCSB. For my mom, she is very cautious about being around other people because of her parents and their health. This pandemic has influenced the world away from socializing. I can rarely hang out with people and being on zoom is annoying. We are doing the same thing over and over again when it seems like there is no purpose. Our entire world as we know it flipped over and is completely different now. I need school to go to hybrid and sports to start back up soon. -
2020-12-17
Online School During COVID-19
Thursday 9/17- Overall I have mixed feelings about online learning. It’s nice to say at home, instead of going to school at 7 or 8 am. However I feel like online school is messing with my productivity. It's not fun staring at a screen for 6 hours straight sitting in the same position. Also, it feel like I;m not learning anything, school used to be about learning but now its just trying to pass the classes and turn work in on time. Additionally, some teachers (not you, or all teachers) are giving us a lot of work. Since this whole online learning is new, it's still hard to adjust to it. When we don't finish classwork during class, we have to finish it for homework, which also adds on to our work load. It's difficult to soak in the information during online lectures or lessons because it's sometimes hard to focus at home. I tend to view my home as a place to relax and outside of my house is where i get work done, but constantly being stuck in one room doing 6 hours of classes and at least 4 hours to do homework is not good for my mental or physical health. On the other hand, i'm not really the type of person who likes to be in social setting, so online learning is somewhat nice. My procrastination has gotten much worse because I get too overwhelmed to start homework i just push it off and i have no motivation left to do any homework or assignments anymore. There also is a lot of stress when it comes to technical difficulties. Sometimes the wifi goes down, or the computer jams which causes u to be late or marked tardy. It's also really confusing for homework due dates and grades. -
2020-11-29
Pandemic life
I wanted to submit my experiences with the pandemic so that historians in the future can get a complete image of the pandemic. -
2020-10-07
Time of Change
First off, I have to say that so far I have been lucky, if one can call it that, to not have lost anyone in any of my circles to this terrible pandemic so I view any of the misfortunes I have had during this time were all only minor inconveniences compared to the way too many others out there. First off, the industry I worked in got pummeled. I had two jobs. I worked for an Audio Visual Company in New Hampshire who did a lot of work for pretty much every presidential candidate producing quite a few of the events such as town halls and rallies. If you saw any news feeds from New Hampshire, there's a good chance the audio you were hearing was from us. My other job was being a tour manager for a French guitar player. I happened to be just starting the tour as Covid was known to be hitting our shores. It was odd time because the tour started in the south and traveling through North Carolina, Georgia, and Tennessee got pretty interesting with many peoples' opinion of the pandemic. Anyway, what was supposed to be a four month tour got cut short to about a week and half and during this time I was also informed that there was not anymore work to be had being that all in person campaigning had stopped. So the ended and I did not have a job to return to heading back to my temporary home. I had the "good" fortune of getting to live in two hot spots. My wife was in her last semester at Harvard Divinity School and Boston was hit pretty hard in the beginning. It was an interesting time, but things got a bit more under control as mask and social distancing mandates took effect. As the pandemic slowed down, it was really weird watching my home state of Arizona deciding not to learn lessons from the areas that had been hit early. After my wife's graduation, we came home to a governor who finally was forced to order mandates because covid was getting out of hand. It was quite frustrating to witness this after coming from a hotspot in which many lessons had been learned. Here is where I have to say, nothing was bad as it could have seemed. Being that there was no work to be had, I took advantage of my extra time off. I took the opportunity to practice guitar more seriously than I had for the decades before. I honed my skills in the kitchen. Between getting the bug to restart my education by getting to sit in on classes with Cornel West, E.J. Dionne and quite a few other world class educators as well seeing that this pandemic would be sticking around for a while, I decided that now was as good as a time as any to finish what ended up being only two more semester of classes to get my bachelors in both History and Religious Studies. The program has changed a little being that it was about 15 years ago so there's some new core classes that I need take because not all the classes I had taken before completely translated, but I have appreciated them so far and am very much enjoying being back in school. I feel rather fortunate to feel that I have been fortunate enough to be able to make the best of this time of somewhat chaotic transition. -
2020-09-20
Radika Barot Oral History, 2020/09/20
It is the experience the average high school senior had during the Corona Virus Pandemic recorded on voice memo by interviewer. -
2020-08-23
Strained Relationships
This pandemic has strained multiple relationships in my life. When the stay at home order was first issued, it seemed like everyone moderately close to me took it pretty seriously. In retrospect, this may be because of the lack of answers we had about covid-19. The increase of fearmongering yet informational warnings in the media affected people to staying in their home for days at a time. Eventually, people’s fear were wearing off. Only a couple months into a quarantine and people around me began participating in nonregulated social events. Not only did I witness the increase in parties again, but an overall lack of awareness. Putting on a mask in public is not a very hard task, but even at this time, people I knew fought it relentlessly. People in my own family would continue to physically greet people in public and would come back home carelessly spreading germs from the outside. I did understand that this was a very different transition from normal life just months ago, so I understood the initial ignorance. After many conversations and pleas of mindfulness, it was easy to see that it was no longer ignorance, but selfishness. With people in my life living with underlying diseases that gives them a lesser possibility of surviving, I made sure to be well aware during this time. This was not met with reciprocating energy from some of my friends and family. The negligence around me began to offend me. I made sure to continuously live in a cautious manner for the safety of others around me, yet I was surrounded with others that just cared about themselves. After this realization, I did not care to contact these people as much. Pairing this with the stay at home order, I basically cut these people off. With the people in my family that treated the pandemic differently from me, I chose the same to not reach out as much even though I could truly never cut them out of my life. After observing these various irresponsible acts, I realized some important people in your life will disagree with you at times. Unfortunately, because of the state of the world right now, those disagreements can truly damage a relationship. -
2020-03-15
Covid-19 Memes from the Anime Community
I like anime and have been feeling depressed during the pandemic. Silly memes like these make me smile. (For reference, "weeb" is a shortened version of "weeaboo", which is someone who really likes anime). A lot of people who have nerdy hobbies like watching anime have spent much of quarantine inside indulging in their hobbies but many are wanting to go back to normal life. Some things from normal life that have been canceled due to COVID-19 is the ability to go to anime conventions and bookstores, where many weebs can hangout and meet with each other. The frustration from the "anti-mask" movement and the lack of decline in coronavirus cases has spawned many anime memes promoting mask wearing and proper handwashing during the pandemic. (The image of Unit 01 (the purple robot) "washing" their hands is currently hanging on my bathroom door at home). -
2020-08-17
6 hours of Zoom for 1st grade, it's going swell (or like 💩)
Distance learning started for my 1st grader. After seeing the schedule, I could tell it was going to be rough. She’s supposed to be in class just under 6 hours a day. 6 hours on Zoom M-F. I couldn’t handle that as an adult, so why would I expect a 6yo to do it? The district handed out Chromebooks, which are fun for the 6yo because you can touch the screen or click the track pad, but ultimately the processors are too slow. It took so long to load Google classroom that I gave her my laptop, even though I really needed it to get my own work done. Most of the day was spent listening and trying to get the technology to work. If other students are loud or disruptive on Zoom it’s a lot harder to ignore them because they can directly compete with the teacher if they’re unmuted on the screen. The online learning program crashed for over an hour, so she sat and colored while we waited to reconnect. Maya drew this picture of our dog, yes pooping on a flower, but whatever. We resorted to bathroom humor to make light of the moment. The whole time I felt so stressed because the first day was uncomfortable and a bit boring. By the end of the afternoon she was supposed to transition into “special areas.” Today was music, but she didn’t want to stay in class. She was sick of learning on the computer. I’ll also say that the music teacher was a bit obnoxious asking for introductions and really digging in deep to people’s summer activities. I was over it at that point too. I really don’t care if a classmate is at a cabin, why does she need to sit there and listen to all of this? It was already a long day, and she wanted to quit. I logged her out of Zoom early and we’ll try again tomorrow. -
2020-07-13
B.C. Indigenous groups keeping borders closed to limit COVID-19 spread, despite growing economic impact
"Indigenous bands along the west coast of British Columbia say their borders will remain closed to tourists and non-residents, despite the economic impact, as they work to raise awareness about the threat COVID-19 poses to their communities." "'A lot of our communities are remote and testing is not easily available,' she said. 'If you’re in Port Alberni, or Nanaimo, or Victoria, or somewhere (else), you can get testing and get results in 24 hours. It’s not the same with our communities.' "The closures have resulted in disputes between Indigenous groups and local businesses. "The Haida Nation in Haida Gwaii have turned away non-residents at the ferry terminal, discouraged leisure travel and called on two local fishing lodges to rethink their reopening plans." -
2020-07-03
2020 Whats next?
This meme sums it up. No one knows what to expect next. Everyone is tired and frustrated. Murder ducks. Enough said. -
2020-06-24
"Well, Atlantic Canada is now bubbled up!" text
A text sent to a group chat of graduate students now dispersed across the county. The writer is from, and is currently living in, Cape Breton, Nova Scotia. He is sardonically expressing frustration at the absurdity of a state of affairs where the province cannot provide some basics, but can make interprovincial deals to allow people to travel and associate with others in the Maritimes. -
2020-06-20
Coronavirus cases at San Quentin soar to 190; ‘they’re calling man down every 20 or 30 minutes’
A group of prisoners from Chino were recently transferred to San Quentin because of a COVID-19 outbreak. These prisoners were housed in a separate, yet connected, area from the residing San Quentin incarcerated population. San Quentin prisoners reported daily COVID-19 testing since the group arrived. 159 prisoners at San Quentin have now tested positive for COVID-19. The numbers are expected to continue to climb. Fear, anxiety, frustration and anger are running rampant as San Quentin attempts to contain the spread of the virus. -
2020-03-16
COVID-19 Extracts from Personal Journal
Mid-March. Thinking about all the things that have previously worried me this year that now seem mild and hilarious: moving alone to Tasmania; starting my PhD at a new university and finally meeting my supervisors; turning 28 (haha, actually). Now: Global pandemic; getting really sick; my loved ones getting really sick; state borders closing and being unable to return home even if I want to; my loved ones getting sick and not being able to travel to see them; the economy is destroyed, again. Late-March. It is what it is. What a rollercoaster this year has been, and we're not yet three months in. I've been staying home in self-quarantine for a few weeks now. The days are distinct for twenty-four hours; in the mornings I can recall the previous mornings; the afternoons, the afternoons. Every day I wake around 10am, at some point I paint, make food, drink coffee, stand on the balcony and gaze at the view. At the dining table J plays Catan ("it's your turn"; maniacal laughter; the sound of sawing) while I read. B set up the gym in the spare room and is continually showing me exercises effortlessly, while I struggle on a single push up. We stack wood in the woodshed, B and I come up with names for movies replacing words with toilet paper in one of a million Facebook challenges to bubble up during a time when all we have is time, and after weeks of watching the PM’s announcements as a house, we have all gradually stopped paying attention to the news. What is happening in Tasmania? That's all we care about anymore. I call home and [my parents] are cheery, full of house-plans and routine amidst the uncertainty. Recently J and I were discussing how we have different word associations - prior to all this I saw virus as being inherently technological, a computer term; he saw it as a verb, something penetrating and spreading. He said he felt concerned that we all use the same term but we might all be meaning different things, so how can anyone authentically communicate? I feel that inherently at the moment. I have a wonderful Zoom call with D and D and they are jovial, laughing, but also patient and understanding with my PhD fog. (Sometimes I have to remind myself that I am doing one at all, and it zips back into consciousness with surprise: wait, you're doing it? Now? All you do is sit in your house.) University is at least some kind of consistency. I write to M and A, I paint zealous red gouache flowers on the envelopes, I run to the post box and hold my hand out in the air after touching the handle as though drenched with invisible miasma. J and I collect pine cones at the Domain. When strangers approach from a distance every part of me screams stay away! They seem to walk directly towards us, magnetised, a collision course, and it is always our job to duck and weave to avoid crashing. Crashing means ‘breathing near’. Mid-April. I ask J how many weeks it has been not leaving the house. "I don't know", he says."Four? Five?" We count backwards. I was free on my birthday; the last time I went out for anything was a week after that, Me Wah. J remembers. "At least you got to sit in a restaurant", he says. He remembers mine and B's conversation to the word. I sense his mind is doing backflips in the emptiness, while mine is hazy and soft, a kaleidoscope of dreaming and staring into the flickering flames of our fire, looking at the soft Ghibli rain over the city, staring into never-ending mugs of steaming tea. There’s no need to ever be fully awake. We watch movies B picks out on Netflix (Psychokinesis; A Quiet Place), sip homemade cherry liqueur. We share treats. Occasionally we leave the house in an anxious flurry. People either look nervously as we pass them in the aisle, or not at all; oblivious, they bang into other people, walk aggressively, lean too close. J is frustrated and rattled. "I'm really grumpy", he says, roaring his car into the street. B and I silently look for teddy bears in the windows of people's houses. In our neighbour’s window is a brightly painted sign, ‘Thank you health care workers!’ One particularly cagey afternoon (of golden sun licking the garden in early April, flecked summer shadows, all a warm 20 degrees) I walk. I walk around the Domain and lip sync to repetitive pop songs and take photos of the trees and a fat rainbow parrot, and I move into the dirt to avoid people, always watching, mapping trajectories and walking speed in space. I get home sunburnt and make a fluffy coffee, drink it in the sun on the deck while J pulls up our kale and spinach and gives it to me to munch, pops the heads of tiny caterpillars with his thumbnail. He leaves one for me to do and when I squish it green blood splashes like a poorly made film crime scene pool, obnoxiously overflowing. There are many places I could be during all this that would be worse than here. Mid-May. This is new. The pressure has completely released. I don’t feel on-edge for a millisecond, instead deeply slow and content and watchful. Given-up and exhausted. When I was deeply drunk I looked around my room tearfully (a clear theme these days) and touched my hand to the wall and thanked the spirits of this old house, whether they were listening or not, the echoes and shadows and fingerprints and DNA of those who came before, for having me, and for their care during this time. After the months I have spent within this house I can’t not anthropomorphize the walls. It was a wider gratitude - for the dappled sunlight on the plants on the ledge in the kitchen, for the depths of the crackling fire, watching it lick and munch at the dry logs, for the deep sea breeze coming up our street, for the view of the houses and the stone church and the pines and the mountain drifting beyond the clouds, for the thick fat roses persevering deep into the late autumn, for the brass-golden sun burning my skin lightly in the late afternoon, for everything delicate and rare and wonderful I have been contained with on this property. While coronavirus is rapidly disappearing in Tasmania (knock on wood, we say, tapping our knuckles on the table, and then on our own heads) the rest of the world is gripped in it. Domestic travel is looking possible by July, at the earliest - international not until 2023, so likely after my PhD is concluded. For now, the directive is clear: stay put and stay healthy and don’t spread. Inspired by the frontliners M is considering doing a two-year intensive nursing degree, so by the time we’re both finished perhaps the world will be opened and we can move around and see it. Who knows what the future will bring - and this year, more than any other, the year the word ‘unprecedented’ was thrown around frantically, this holds true. Late-May. Today was nice. I walked aimlessly around the city, bought a coffee from Two Folks and waited eagerly in the alley for it to be ready since only one person could stand in front of the register on the X-marked tape at any given time (the childish thrill of in-person commerce); bought soap from Lush and laughed with the girl with sky-blue ombre hair behind the plexiglass - “Thank you for keeping me in a job!”, she said. People on the street seemed ready to smile at the slightest glance. There is a relieved, selfish joy in the air. At night I drank a bottle of wine and watched It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and as I always have laughed at every dark moment, and things felt preciously safe in this tiny pocket of the world. -
2020-05-30
Reopening Surprises
As states rushed to reopen, there were multiple warning signals put up by scientists and concerned citizens about the unforeseen consequences. There was a reassurance by politicans and those in positions of power that things would be handled properly, and that the idea of a second wave was a ridiculous thought. As states have reopened, cases have surged, and I don't think that I am the only that is not surprised.