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  2021-05-24

  A Glimpse of Masked Goodbyes

  Ever since I was a kid, I waited for the day I would get to walk across the stage inside a huge stadium to receive my diploma, with my family and friends watching. That day did not turn out quite as expected. My senior year began in August of 2020, during the height of COVID. No one knew when or if we would be going back to school in person. We lost football games, homecoming, the senior trip, and almost two semesters of getting to spend time in class with friends. We missed out on finally being a senior. All we could hope for was to be able to have more than a drive-thru graduation. Our class was lucky enough to be able to go back to school for a few months and we got to have an in-person graduation on the football field. Even though there were only just under 200 students per day over the course of our 4-day graduation ceremonies, it was definitely an experience I will never forget. I was grateful that I got to walk across that stage with my family watching. I was grateful that I got to watch my friends who I have known for years, and with who I began this journey, get their diplomas as well. This photo encapsulates the moment that we had officially graduated. As we went in for a masked-up embrace, I thought about so much I had to go through to get to that moment. All of the highs, lows, long nights up studying, fun school events, losing friends who were near and dear to my heart, and making it through what is supposed to be the best year of high school during a worldwide pandemic. It was a bittersweet moment, marking the end of one journey, but the start of the next. I do not know what the future holds, but I hope to never have to experience more masked goodbyes.
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  2020-06-25

  Hats Off: Finding Closure Amid Uncertainty

  This screen recording, a small snippet taken from a live video posted on the Richardson High School Eaglettes Facebook page on June 25,2020, takes place in the back parking lot of my former high school. The fixture in the middle of the video is a "stick chick", and just beyond the stick chick is the stadium where I performed at every football game for the last three years as a member of the Richardson High School Eaglettes, a Texas style dance team. What you witnessed was the senior hat-hanging ceremony, meant to be performed in our big auditorium at the end of our final show that is usually held in April. This moment is meant to be the pinnacle of the drill team experience, a last bow in front of your teammates, family, and friends as they celebrate and applaud you for your hard work and dedication. Every early morning, every sore muscle, every tear of frustration was meant to be justified in this moment, when I could finally hang the heavily sequined hat that carried the makeup, sweat and troubles of my three-year experience and inwardly declare "I did it". But that moment never came. When school closed indefinitely in March amidst the raging global pandemic, our final show was the first event to be cancelled, followed shortly after by prom and graduation. The disappointment was crippling. I felt my world cave in as every important moment I had waited months for was stripped from me, and soon sadness made way for anger. Then one day I received an email, announcing the date of an outdoor and socially distanced closing Eaglette ceremony. And funny enough, the moment you see here almost didn't happen. I was so content with my anger that I contemplated not attending the ceremony, controlled by the belief that denying myself of this moment would show the pandemic that it could no longer hurt me. But with some motherly encouragement I gathered myself up at the last minute, making it just in time to hang my hat. I recieved honks instead of cheers, headlights instead of stage lights, and the ages old concrete of the parking lot as my stage. But I wouldn't have had it any other way. What you witnessed was my moment of victory, my realization that good can spring forth amid bad, and the moment that I decided I would not let the pandemic defeat me.
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  2021-04-14

  Can You Ever Tell If A Decision Is Right?

  My daughter has left our neighborhood less than five times in the past 13 months. I am not exaggerating. Now that the positivity rate in our area is 1.5%, we cautiously allowed my daughter to accompany me on a one mile run. You would have thought I’d taken her to Disney World. She was happier and more relaxed than she’s been in months. But she’s not a runner. She’s a competitive gymnast who hasn’t set foot in a gym in 13 months. She’s trained virtually with a gym in Northern CA and has worked out every single day. But we know it’s not the same. We also know that it’s time to create the team for the next season. It was time to contact her gym. We can keep promising she’s coming back but at what point is it just empty words? After a lot of prayer and internal debate, we texted her coach and said it’s time for her to come back. As you can see, she was initially scared at the idea, but that was quickly replaced by excitement when she found out she is really going back. But I have a pit in my stomach. Is it safe? Her coach isn’t vaccinated. Will my daughter be one of the children who contract it and have dire consequences? Or will her brother if she brings it home? How long can you keep a kid in a bubble? She already missed an entire season. Her mental health is so important, we know going back is going to be so amazing for that. But I am still so worried about the physical. One thing that this year has shown me is that I am an adult. I mean, obviously, I’ve been an adult for 22 years. But this year - protecting not only the safety of my children but my over 65 mom and in-laws. Advocating for the health of my students over politics. It’s like the pandemic has forced me to see that I can’t look to anyone to make adult decisions, it’s me. I’m the decision maker and these decisions can be life and death. I’m the adult. COVID has stripped that security we all had (probably foolishly). I don’t think I’ll ever feel safe again the way I did before this all began. So fingers crossed that my daughter’s journey back into competitive gymnastics is one that we can make safely.
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  2020-03-20

  COVID kicked me off of my campus

  Around mid-March, all of the students of my college received an email that on-ground instruction had been suspended and that we all had 48 hours to leave campus.
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  2021-02-24T13:24:52

  A 2020 Senior's Experience

  Link to my Story https://eaglefgcu-my.sharepoint.com/:w:/g/personal/vdearmas2389_eagle_fgcu_edu/EfbXTEMivQhBlns1iufe0PUBKjsdXqzsQvBkamaxWh4YAg?e=IwR5k3
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  2020-05-30

  Stuck At Home

  Like many others, quarantine has dramatically shifted everyday lives from enjoying the virtues of going out to having to stay at home to prevent the spread of the virus. Personally, I am very anxious and tired of having to stay at home every single day, hoping that everything returns to normal so I can go out with my friends and go to school. But, I realized during the early stages of quarantine, that I should be contributing to help keep out country safe by staying at home. Everyday I am saddened that many of the hobbies and everyday activities I used to enjoy are now unreachable. Many things that I anticipated such as my sport's season, getting my driver's license (my behind the wheel appointment was cancelled), and spending time with friends have been taken away from me. However, there are many of those who do not think the same as me, and find themselves going out leisurely without a care for what is going on. Many of these people believe that this virus is a myth, and if not they are people who are selfish and only care for their own pleasure. This meme I attached to this story is a great depiction of what is going on; people are continuing to go out even though there are plenty reasons they should not be. With people continuously going out for unjustifiable reasons, the virus will never seize to spread. Everyone's lives are affected by this virus, whether it be families witnessing loved ones dying, being unable to pay off bills and rent due to the loss or discontinuation of jobs, and children, who should be going to school and experiencing life, having to be stuck at home. People need to realize that this situation does not revolve around solely themselves and understand that their actions will only result in delaying the process of flattening the corona virus case curve.
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  2020-03-16

  Into the Wild Competitive Trail Run Cancellation

  Into the WIld OC Trail runs was planning to hold their first race of season as late as March 14. However, with the closure of public parking lots and trails on March 16 by OC Parks, and inability to social distance on narrow trails, the race was postponed indefinitely.
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  2020-03-16

  USA Gymnastics Cancellation Announcement Email

  By March 2020, with the spreading of COVID-19, athletics felt the impact. USA Gymnastics opted to cancel all meets, including State and Regional Championships through, at least, May 2020.
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  2020-04-22

  Competitive Gymnastics At Home Workout

  My daughter, age 9, does conditioning with her gymnastics team over Zoom, as USA Gymnastics has canceled meets indefinitely and the local gyms have closed.