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2022-03-25
How COVID Changed my Marriage
I got married in May of 2019. When I got married, I had no idea something like COVID would happen and change the dynamics I had with my husband. COVID happened the first few months into our marriage. With it, my husband had to start working from home. I won't lie and say it wasn't an issue with my husband having to not be in the office anymore. I felt like I couldn't do as many things, as my husband had to talk to clients and go to meetings, where I couldn't be too loud. Another thing I wasn't used to at the beginning of all of this was seeing my husband far more often than just before or after work. With that, I had to learn to communicate better with any issues I had instead of bottling it up as much. As we were together more, I had to learn to accommodate for that. From reading news stories early in 2020, not everyone was able to make their marriages work, and ended up getting divorced after some spouses were made to work from home. I think that is one thing people aren't always aware of being an issue in a marriage. Sometimes too much time together can have the opposite effect, especially if communication was already shaky even before the pandemic. There were a few times I did get angry with my husband for not feeling like I was being understood. With him being at the apartment more, there were more opportunities for me to get annoyed with him. At some points though, the anger wasn't even really his fault, but my own for not dealing with the lockdowns well mentally in addition to forgetting to take medicine or do other tasks. I had to learn to speak more openly about these issues rather than letting them linger. Funnily enough, it wasn't until February of this year that we both really learned to talk to each other more productively. The big fight we had was partly from me feeling jealous of how my husband would talk to his friends more often than he would me, as for a while by that point, we had gotten into a routine during COVID of both of us being on our phones way more than we should be. We later had to come to the agreement to set aside specific time for each other without using our phones. It has already been over a month since that change, and the relationship has improved drastically. Some of my habits that I made to help cope with COVID and general anxiety issues kept me from having as solid a relationship with my husband. Intimacy was another issue that came up due to my husband working from home. Even though we physically saw each other more often, we didn't kiss nearly as much as we used to. I think that sometimes kissing goes to the wayside if people become too busy. This was something we ended up having multiple discussions on, as we wanted to show more affection with each other, but did not think to do it. Overall, the biggest changes that happened in my relationship with my husband because of COVID was the way we communicated. Being together in person more often meant we had to work through multiple issues we had prior to COVID or because of COVID. Being alone together more often may seem like an ideal situation to some people looking from the outside, but with it can bring a host of new issues. Some people during the pandemic learned this the hard way and ended up getting divorced. The problems me and my husband have had were not unsolvable, but they take some maturity to work through without it causing resentment. I think sometimes of what it would have been like if COVID never happened early on into our marriage, and now I am glad some of it did, because I have become a better wife and am able to meet my husband's needs better than before. Life really did hand me one very tart lemon by having to deal with a pandemic the first few years in marriage, which many say are some of the most vulnerable years for a couple. That tart lemon has since been made sweet, but only because both of us were able to recognize problems and figure out ways to help each other. -
2020-04-01
Pumpkin Spice Candles
One thing that captures a sensory memory that relates to the COVID-19 pandemic for me is candles, specifically pumpkin spice candles. My wife and myself, like many other people, spent the majority of 2020 shut inside our home. Prior to this pandemic, we would often go out 3-4 nights a week. Nothing crazy, of course. Dinner, bowling, movie, etc. Typical married couple dates. However, once we were shut inside our house, we had to find other little things to occupy our time so we wouldn’t go stir crazy. My wife started buying a lot of scented candles from Amazon, and her favorite was pumpkin spice. I swear, my apartment smelled like pumpkin spice from about April of 2020 to January of 2021. The scent helped her relax, and it made me happy to know that she was finding ways to keep herself settled and centered. Now, whenever I’m out somewhere and catch a scent of pumpkin, I think of the two of us trapped in the apartment but working together to make the whole experience into a positive. I know that this is probably more of a sentimental story than what we were supposed to write, but this is what first came to my mind when I saw this assignment. -
2021-03
Pandemic Wedding: Jon and Brittany Wolf
Walls- What things did you have to change for your wedding to happen? (i.e. limit the number of people, venue changes to outside venues, or making face masks required) Wolf-We never really wanted a big wedding so making it as small as possible due to the current world climate was something that we were more than happy to do. We had to limit the guests to only immediate family even though our original intentions were to have more people present; we just didn’t feel right having any bigger of a ceremony. Our ceremony was also outdoors so our family groups could social distance more effectively and we made face masks mandatory at all times. Walls- What was the biggest concern you had about having your wedding during a global pandemic? Wolf- It was the fact that we could not include many people that we know would have loved to have been there. Our decision to limit to only immediate family was a tough one, but the one we felt most comfortable with. We were worried that some people may have been hurt by this decision. That turned out to not be the case, we were not selective with our invites and instead only invited immediate family. Walls- Did you have any reservations about having your wedding at all? Did you have to push back your wedding? Wolf- Not really. It was pretty low-key so we were not worried about spreading the virus. We had reservations when we originally planned a larger ceremony which is why we decided to change it. Walls- What issues, if any, did you have with the vendors that you had scheduled for your wedding? Wolf- We didn’t have any vendors! :) Walls- If you had to push your wedding back, were vendors really flexible on giving you a new date/ refund? Wolf- Same answer as above. Walls- What does it feel like to have gotten married during a pandemic? Wolf- Surreal. It is amazing to have some sense of normalcy during this absurdly crazy time. The accommodations we had to make were things we never even considered before the pandemic hit. It is definitely a story we will look back on fondly! -
2021-03
Pandemic Wedding: Rachel Nichols
Walls: What things did you have to change for your wedding to happen? (i.e. limit the number of people, venue changes to outside venues, or making face masks required) Rachel: So originally I was planning on having a bigger wedding around 200 people. I wanted it to be a huge celebration but due to the pandemic My Husband and I made the decision to just have our family, bridal parties, and just a few of our closest friends. I requested that anyone that was attending the wedding get COVID tested. I also provided masks to everyone and had hand sanitizer stations throughout the whole venue. Walls: What was the biggest concern you had about having your wedding during a global pandemic? Rachel: My biggest concern having my wedding during a pandemic was the possible chance that my grandparents & any older family members could possibly come in contact with COVID. But they were my biggest supporters and assured me that all was well & that they were taking every precaution to stay safe. Walls: Did you have any reservations about having your wedding at all? Rachel: I definitely had reservations about having my wedding, for weeks I went back and forth on whether it was the right decision. It was honestly mentally wearing but I wouldn’t change a thing. My wedding was uniquely perfect and I had everyone there that I needed. Walls: Did you have to push back your wedding? Rachel: I definitely had push back from a few family members about having my wedding, it was a really hard decision to make. But eventually they came around. My wedding date was significant to me because I discovered that my Grandfather had gotten married on the same date I chose. It meant too much to me to change. Walls: What issues, if any, did you have with the vendors that you had scheduled for your wedding? Rachel: I actually had zero issues with the Vendors because all I needed was a bartender, the caterer was more than accommodating and I had a family friend be my photographer. Everything was smooth sailing. Walls: If you had to push your wedding back, were vendors really flexible on giving you a new date/ refund? Rachel: Everyone who helped make this wedding possible was very flexible, they understood the circumstances at hand. Walls: What does it feel like to have gotten married during a pandemic? Rachel: Getting married during a pandemic was interesting, before the wedding I was nervous. I didn’t want anybody to feel uncomfortable, that was my biggest worry. But as soon as the ball got rolling everything felt effortless and magical. It became a very carefree environment where everyone who was there was able to forget about what was happening in our world and just enjoy themselves. Like I said before I wouldn’t have changed a thing, it didn’t even feel like we were in a pandemic. Everyone was able to enjoy themselves and stay safe at the same time. I'm very blessed to have been able to get married during a pandemic. It’s unique and something I will be able to tell my children about one day. These memories I will hold dear to my heart forever. It was just the right people and it couldn’t have been better. -
2021-03
Pandemic Wedding: Victoria Beasley
Walls: What things did you have to change for your wedding to happen? (i.e. limit the number of people, venue changes to outside venues, or making face masks required) Victoria: I was supposed to get married in New York City for a destination wedding but because of Covid we couldn’t risk everyone’s health so we had to move it back to Florida, keeping the guest list smaller. We had COVID signs everywhere stating what people should do (staying six feet apart, wearing a mask, and washing their hands). We had masks specially made with our names and date and we had personalized hand sanitizers for people to take. It definitely was very focused on and thought about. Walls: What was the biggest concern you had about having your wedding during a global pandemic? Victoria: The thought of anyone getting sick because of our wedding really worried us but we had to just swallow the pill and pray for the best outcome. We luckily didn’t have anyone get sick and it was really amazing to get to see everyone. Walls: Did you have any reservations about having your wedding at all? Did you have to push back your wedding? Victoria: We tossed around the idea of pushing it back but after really thinking about it we decided not to because we had no idea when Covid would be over so it just didn’t really make any sense. Walls: What issues, if any, did you have with the vendors that you had scheduled for your wedding? Victoria: We didn’t really have any issues with vendors. Walls: If you had to push your wedding back, were vendors really flexible on giving you a new date/ refund? Victoria: Our photographer specifically was super understanding, he was going to go to New York with us and was completely understanding and okay with us possibly changing the date when we were tossing around the idea of changing the date and he was okay with us staying in Florida no extra charge, I think he just wanted us to feel comfortable given the circumstances. Walls: What does it feel like to have gotten married during a pandemic? Victoria: If anything it gave us a sense of relief, nobody got sick and like a feeling of reassurance that just because there is a pandemic, while yes keeping it safe, we could continue to live our lives. It’s also cool to think that we can one day tell our grandkids how we got married during a pandemic. -
2021-03
Pandemic Wedding: Sara Hamilton
Wolf: What things did you have to change for your wedding to happen? (i.e. limit the number of people, venue changes to outside venues, or making face masks required) Hamilton: My situation was very unique from a lot of COVID-19 weddings in that we were nine days away from our date when we decided to postpone the celebration. Everyone told us we were crazy and to just do it and Florida shut down less than a week before our original date. Because it was so close to the date and we already had our marriage license we decided to have a super small and intimate ceremony with 13 people including us and the officiant. Our original RSVP number was 152 people. Everything was shut down on March 22nd but we did our ceremony in my in-laws backyard. They built an arbor, put flowers everywhere, socially distanced all the seats and nobody was allowed inside the house except to use the bathroom. We did not wear face masks, but this was really before that became the responsible thing to do. Nobody got close to each other except my husband and I and we only had a champagne toast and cut a small cake before we all split off. It was so opposite of everything that we had planned that day but I am so glad we chose to do a small ceremony because we certainly did not know what the future held and we still don’t. Wolf: What was the biggest concern you had about having your wedding during a global pandemic? Hamiton: For us the biggest concern was travel and people not being able to get back home amidst the beginning of the pandemic panic. We also have a lot of older people attending and we could never forgive ourselves if anyone we loved became sick because of coming to our wedding. And as I so think we are allowed to be selfish about one thing, another concern was that it just wouldn’t be the dance party we envisioned. We are both relatively relaxed and wanted to have the “big party” without people worrying for their own safety. For these reasons, we still have not had our big wedding. Wolf: Did you have any reservations about having your wedding at all? Did you have to push back your wedding? Hamilton: We had so many reservations. How could we be selfish and have the wedding no matter what when there is a global pandemic going on? Millions of people have died, and we want to celebrate our love even if it means not having those that have supported us in our partnership throughout the years? It just did not feel right to either of us. Our dream wedding is not about all the expensive and luxurious things… it is about having the support system that has been there for us throughout the years. Without that, it is not the wedding that we want. It has been extremely devastating, but we try to remember WHY we have made these decisions. I am tearing up as I think about it. Yes, we have now pushed back our wedding three times. We had an original date of March 22nd, 2020 and on March 17th, 2020 we chose October 18th, 2020 to be our second date. In August of 2020, we decided to postpone our October date to March 21st, 2021. We were confident we could safely make it happen but come January with reservations from both of us and our families, we decided to indefinitely postpone the big celebration until the world feels safe enough. Come July 2021, we will sit down to discuss if we will move forward with a fall/winter date or if we will push back to 2022. Wolf: What issues, if any, did you have with the vendors that you had scheduled for your wedding? Hamilton: We are incredibly blessed and have had minimal issues with all our vendors. We chose to support local for all of our vendors and everyone that we picked is people that we personally know. Most people cannot say the same as us, especially after postponing three times. We only “lost” one deposit from our DJ but he is giving us a discount when we do rebook. We had to pay an extra couple of thousand for our venue (The Riverhouse) as our contract was only for 2020 and we had gotten a generous discount, but they were so gracious to us and all of the money we have put forward is being saved on an invoice for whatever date we end up choosing, regardless of if its in 2021 or 2022. So basically, all of vendors saved our money and will apply it to our new date when that time comes. This is very fortunate and we do not take that for granted, by any means. Our wedding was paid in full so with our vendors being so flexible with time and money, its taken a lot of stress of our shoulders and has made postponing multiple times a lot easier because we don’t feel pressured to move forth due to time and money. If it did not go this way for us, I’m not sure what we would’ve done…weddings are expensive. Wolf: If you had to push your wedding back, were vendors really flexible on giving you a new date/refund? Hamilton: The first time around everyone was incredibly flexible and actually gave us first dibs on a new date since we were only nine days away from the big day when we decided to postpone. Second postponement wasn’t as easy but everyone still stayed flexible. Upon our third postponement, we were worried we would get backlash at saving a date then cancelling which is why we decided to postpone indefinitely until we feel its safe so we aren’t taking a date away from another couple and not stopping our vendors from making money on that day, since we are fully paid. We aren’t sure what will happen when we do choose a new date as that will require signing new contracts but because everyone has been so flexible and generous to us, we have no problem paying extra money for every vendor we chose. We chose each vendor because we really liked their work but we will stay with all of them for how they have treated us. We will pick a date that works for them all because they have done so much to keep us comfortable and we couldn’t imagine our day without them being by our side. We have not asked for any refunds nor will we. Wolf: What does it feel like to have gotten married during a pandemic? Hamilton: I could come up with a lot of adjectives to describe how it has felt as we are closing in on almost a year since our “mini mony” as they now call it. It is overwhelming, devastating, beautiful, and happy. (Here I am crying again) On March 13th, as I stood in my wedding dress for my final dress fitting, I cried with my mother-in-law as we were receiving calls, emails, and texts left and right about people not being able to make it due to the arising concern. It was there that we both knew what was needed. We drove home and broke the news to my husband and asked him how he felt. He agreed but didn’t say much. His mother left and we cried. We cried hard; we were SO mad. How could this happen SO close to our dream wedding? It took a few days, but we accepted it and decided to do the small ceremony anyways and wear what we had planned to wear. It was the happiest day of our lives, regardless of what had happened prior to 5:00 pm on March 22nd, 2020. So, while its been one of the hardest and disappointing things we have had to go through, it has made our marriage strong, honest, loyal, and committed. If we can get through our first year of marriage during a global pandemic postponing our wedding three times, I think we can do most things. I got to marry my best friend and the love of my life and I would be so disappointed in myself now if we had let postponing the wedding stop us from getting married. The big party will happen one day and this has taught us one very important life lesson: patience. So while I don’t wish this circumstance on anyone and so many have gone through it, I don’t regret that I got married during a pandemic. What a story for the kids one day, eh? -
2021-04-23
Difficulty set to hard
This is based on my personal experiences. I started off 2020 by having just separated from my wife, such that we were both looking for divorce. This can lead to many difficulties even in a normal setting, but it took the normal difficulty of the things I was going through and turned it up a few notches. I started the year off without a job, car, or place to live. I was able to move in with my mom and take care of the housing situation temporarily by living in her front room. I then had to start looking for jobs. I found a job through a temp agency to get me back on my feet. Eventually, it became time for my to find a more permanent job better suited to the path forward I wanted in life. My last day of work at the temp job was right before spring break. I had planned on taking care of life things during spring break, before looking for another job shortly thereafter. There were no jobs. So many businesses closed during and after spring break, that the number of people desperate to get money for rent and necessities, took all available jobs almost instantly. I spent nearly 2 months looking for another job. Eventually I was forced to cave, simply because what should have been adequate amounts of money while looking for a job, was used up in the wait. I not only had to take another temp job, but the only ones available were jobs with a high rate of people leaving them. So I worked at one of the worst jobs I have had the displeasure of working. In that process, there was an instance of covid starting to spread through the factory. So this factory with over 1000 workers, made a mandatory covid test for it's workers, and sent us all home for a week. Anyone who's test came back positive, had their id rejected at the turnstyle when we resumed work. Unfortunately my body couldn't take the hours required for this job. And so I was forced to leave it also. And in doing so, I was no longer able to stay with my mother. So for the second time in a year, I was jobless and homeless. And this time, the root cause was covid. I went to stay with my aunt. But my grandmother and grandfather are particularly elderly and vulnerable, so everyone there was on high alert and wary about covid. So I was quarantined for an entire week to one room so that I would be able to be monitored for any symptoms. Shortly thereafter I was back on the hunt for a job that would help me progress forward in life. But yet again, even in a completely different area of Oklahoma, there weren't any jobs to be had. I was only able to push myself like that for a month before I looked for another solution. I had a friend, who would lend me his couch even on a permanent basis if needed. So I took him up on that offer. And I moved from Oklahoma to California. That drive was more or less the most impactful part of covid to me. I had seen the roads get empty on my way to/from work as people had stopped non-essential travel. But Oklahoma didn't have an enforced mask mandate. We could still go to the store, or pay for gas for our car, without being required to wear a mask. Many businesses still had indoor dining even. But in that trip, the realization of the impact of covid, hit me. It was at the only gas station for 20 miles in either direction in the mojave. I walked up to the door to go in and pay for gas. And for the first time that year, I saw a sign saying masks were required to enter. After that, every other location I stopped at was the same. There were no more places I could go without a mask. Covid, was having a real and significant impact on other things in the world than just jobs, and people's financial struggles. After having made it to California, in a particularly populated area with plenty of jobs, I was still unable to find a job for two months, simply because of how the rest of the year had gone for me. Simply by requiring a stable work history, I was no longer able to apply for most jobs. Finally I did get a job. I got one in the food industry. And the impact of covid hit hard there too. After having finished my training, and worked for about a week, the state mandate came that closed both our indoor dining. A month later, outdoor dining followed suit. We weren't allowed to take drinks back to add things we may have forgotten, and instead had to remake them entirely, because of covid safety precautions. I've had my temperature taken every single work day since I started, which was unheard of in times before covid. Twice, we've shut down the store because a partner tested positive for covid, and everyone that worked with them was placed in a mandatory two week quarantine. The impact is so strong, that the company is even providing 2 hours paid time for both doses of the vaccine, as incentive to get vaccinated. It's clear to see, covid has had an incredibly strong impact on life, and turned the difficulty level of many peoples lives up beyond manageable levels. -
2021-03-09
Covid Saved My Marriage
Before covid hit my marriage was in big trouble, after years of sitting on "little" problems and ignoring relatively big issues I got tired of living complacently. My husband and I were essentially living a lie, we lived and acted like we were the picture-perfect couple living a perfectly happy life. In the summer of 2019, a tiny issue finally broke the camel's back and we separated. A few months into our separation divorce papers were drawn out and signed by me, he was in Arizona and I had moved in with my parents and children in California. By January 2020 we had already begun hearing about covid but we still didn't think much of it since it was an issue halfway across the globe. All signed and ready to file for divorce we got hit with a quarantine order in California. My husband asked me to move back home so he can be with our kids since we didn't know how long quarantine would last. I agreed and he drove to pick us up. Living together was odd, especially because we had both gotten used to being without one another. After thirteen years of being together, the separation made us realize we hardly knew each other. We had to try extra hard to get along in front of the kids and at least be cordial with one another. Our state of amicability turned into an odd level of friendship. Six months later he asked if I would consider therapy. I agreed and we started therapy virtually. Things got worse in therapy before they got better (as expected) but the divorce papers were eventually torn up. A year later, I can't say were picture-perfect but I can say that we're happy in this phase were in. Since there was a palpable sense of fear last March, we were forced to think about the reality of life without one another, how would we cope with life/death issues alone, and whether we truly wanted that? Quarantine forced us to face years of issues that had seeped into the foundation of our relationship. Divorce would have been much easier, but this outcome we are living in today is so worth it. In short, I'd say covid saved my marriage. -
2021-03-04
Teachers spell out racial slur with giant Scrabble letters. Parents are pissed.
From the article: One parent said that her son is “tired” of the racism because it is a common occurrence at the school. “He absolutely told me, ‘Mom, I’m tired of it, do what you need to do because this is not fair and I’m tired of feeling like this,'” she said. But one of the school’s basketball coaches, John Smith, is standing up for the teachers. “This isn’t our school, this was a mistake,” he said. “Everybody in the world makes mistakes, everybody in the world has faults and this is just a little fault that we’ve had. This is not our school. I truly believe that they did not know what they were posting.” The school, though, openly supports discrimination. Their website says that the school teaches that marriage is “the uniting of one man and one woman in a single, exclusive union, as delineated in Scripture” and denounces the “immorality and sinfulness of sexual relationships outside of biblical marriage and of sexual relationships between persons of the same sex.” -
2020-12-09T17:33
First Year of Marriage and the Pandemic
I got married on May 11, 2019. There were no masks and no need to distance from each other. In July 2019, I got my first job working for my grandma as her caretaker. Since I had graduated ASU, I didn't have much going on, and I needed some way to occupy myself, as well as make money. I did things such as picking the oranges that would fall from the trees in her backyard and trash them so the area would look nicer. I cooked, I cleaned, and I assisted her in computer tasks that she didn't understand how to do. In December of 2019, my grandma had a few unfortunate things happen to her. First, she got pneumonia and had to be taken to the emergency room. She survived, but was weak. Later on, she ended up falling, and was then taken to a care center so that she could regain her strength and do physical therapy. When my grandma came back from the care center in January, I had a new job. Learning from what the physical therapist taught me, I used the exercise recommendations for her and helped her walk better again. It was no easy task, as my grandma can be quite stubborn, but luckily, she was willing to take direction from me in order to move around easier. We have been doing the physical therapy as part of her daily routine ever since. Due to my grandma's worsening condition, my mom and dad decided to move to my grandma's house in January, leaving the apartment mostly to me and my husband. This change was greatly welcomed, and it felt like we could experience married life without my family intervening nearly as much. Overall, January was a pretty good month for me and my husband. One of the biggest events that happened to me before the virus was the death of one of my cousins. On February 11, 2020, he commit suicide. It was a jarring experience. He had lived nearby with his wife and kid and helped install new electrical outlets in the apartment me and my husband were sharing with my parents until a new apartment opened in that same complex. Despite this, we were able to have a normal funeral, which was nice since it gave me some closure. I mostly felt bad for his wife and kid he left behind, since they would now have to figure out how to continue without him. By the time February hit, I was well aware of the virus by this time, but I was sure that majority of the problem was in China. Earlier that month, I had gone to the Dominican Republic to do some volunteer work, as I knew how to speak Spanish. I noticed travel restrictions to and from China at that time, and thought that the travel restrictions could help. This is why I mostly thought the pandemic was mostly China's problem. This idea was quickly changed when March hit. When March 2020 hit and there was a declaration of national emergency, I was very stressed by it. I kept on having images flash in my head of empty grocery aisles that I've seen from social media. Due to the panic that had occurred over the national emergency declaration, the grocery store in my area was completely out of eggs, toilet paper, and hand sanitizer, and the meat aisle was nearly emptied. There were rations on the amount of canned goods you could get. Me and my husband were able to grab a few, some of which my husband said were the "good ones that no one wanted". After that, my anxiety lessened and I felt like I could handle it. I was wrong, as I was not expecting full lockdowns later that month. By the time April came along, the lockdowns felt so severe to me that I couldn't escape anywhere. Bedsides my husband having to comfort me, one of the only things keeping me sane was the job of working for my grandma. I became even more thankful for that job since had I gotten a job in the service industry, or even a basic office job, I would have likely been let go due to being too new. Additionally, I was working full-time for a while, so money wasn't as much of an issue for me as it was before I had gotten the job. April was also when I had one of my worst anxiety attacks, and so to help me, my husband took me out to get some fast food and eat in a parking lot in order to not feel so enclosed. March felt similar to April. The big difference here though was that my brother had to come back from his LDS Church mission six months earlier due to the pandemic, so we ended up having someone new to live with when he got back. One of the nice things my family did, since church services were changed due to the virus, was having by brother bless the sacrament, as he had the authority to do so. By dressing for church and having it at my grandma's home, I was able to feel a bit more normal again, which helped me reduce my anxiety. When May hit, it was me and my husband's one year anniversary. For this special occasion, I booked an Italian restaurant and were able to dine-in for the first time in months. As more places started to open up, I felt my anxiety decrease, as I knew I could enjoy more things again. I am now writing this all in December 2020. The endless monotony of living without as many places to go has made this year feel like both the longest and shortest year that I have experienced. I know that things will change and things will go back to normal, and that is one of the things that is keeping me happy. My anxiety is the worst it has ever been this year due to the restrictions on everyday life, but I've learned that I can live through it, with the help of my husband. This was a trying year for many people's marriages, and to have this experience within the first year of marriage has made me realize how much I depend on my husband, but also that we can get through many tough things together. -
2020-09-05
Covid Safe Wedding
My older sister Rose got engaged in March of 2019 with the intent to not be engaged for a long period of time, her and her soon to be husband Ben, decided on their wedding date and venue shortly after their engagement; April 18, 2020 at Plimoth Plantation. Rose and Ben are the first cousins from either family to get married.The wedding was going to have an estimated amount of 230 people. Only a short 11 months away my whole family began the wedding planning, trying to cover all bases for what would be the most anticipated day for the next year. From wedding dress shopping to sign making to endless phone calls with the venue coordinator, it really was never ending. The whole summer was spent making sure everything would be perfect for their big day. Fast forward exactly one year after their engagement the world shutdown began. Governor Baker of Massachusetts announced the stay at home order, where he limited all outdoor gatherings to 5 people. With this announcement we had to replan and rethink my sister's entire wedding day. Many tears and phone calls later the April 18th wedding was canceled due to the worldwide pandemic. She was able to pick a new date in October and had taken her 230 person wedding down to a 100 person wedding, in hopes that things would be settled after a few months. Due to the spike of cases in July, it became a 50 person wedding in September. It was held in my parents backyard on Labor day weekend. This was truly something that could not have been planned for, nor did we ever imagine impacting the wedding. Although my sister had gone through a rollercoaster of emotions, and 3 wedding dates later, it was a beautiful celebration of love and coming together during this socially-distanced unknown time. -
2020-10-14
Cancelled our Wedding Three Days Prior after receiving COVID-19 yet with an Unexpectedly Joyful Conclusion
It came as a surprise to both my fiance and I that we were infected with the COVID-19 Virus, also known as the “Corona Virus.” The shock did not originate in finding the virus itself, but the timing of the discovery itself. We were going to get married in three days. Before the news of Corona arrived, we decided to get ourselves married on her parents farm in the outdoors and have a grand celebration with all family and friends invited, about 200 people give or take a few. Her parents wanted to renovate the farm and turn it into a wedding venue for future events so building tables, benches, and acquiring all manner of silverware were necessary for the final product. When Corona extended its influence in the United States along with the first round of restrictions and small stores closing, we decided to decrease the size of the wedding by about 75, family and only very close friends only. We were glad we set the date to early fall as a spring or summer date would have been definitely cancelled; we believed Corona would have faded by then. After eight months of construction, carpentry, painting, and landscaping (a lot of landscaping), the slightly dilapidated farm turned into a small paradise surrounded by beautiful, wooded ridges on both sides. My fiance and I became well-rounded in all forms of renovation and wedding prep as we were first-timers in both arenas. It was perfect and everything we could have wanted. Corona was still continuing across the nation and a good portion of the invited decided to not come to the wedding, their replacement being lovely cards and well-wishes. This wedding was to be a big reprieve in the midst of the chaos. When the doctor brought back our results, I actually laughed out loud in the hospital room where my fiance and I were rapid-tested. For all the work, toil, and increasing disappointments we faced for the greater portion of the year, we would receive nothing, 2020 finally dealt us its trademark terrible hand. What happened next was quite a surprise. Rather than the expected emotional infection of defeatism and grief, our families breathed a sigh of relief. All the stress of the last few months finally disappeared. What was there to be stressed out about any more? The worst-case-scenario actually happened at the worst timing I have ever experienced… Yet, we were still here. Fortunately, only my fiance and I were infected; the rest of our families all tested negative. Even more fortune came our way as rather than cancelling the whole wedding, we were able to postpone to a later date a whole month later, October 2nd, 2020. We took the time to rest and relax, along with planning precautions we would have never seen if Corona never affected us directly. Today is October 14, 2020. My fiance now wife, Sophie, and I have been happily married for about a week and a half. We just placed the finishing touches on our new apartment and stocked our pantry and fridge with our first grocery run together. Our honeymoon to northern Minnesota was a resounding success. The weather couldn’t have been more beautiful and the colors more vibrant! I am just starting my senior year in college, hoping to complete a degree in History by next Spring and pursue my Masters soon afterwards. Sophie is currently working for her parents as her recent completion of a Piano Performance degree has yet to fulfill its purpose (The musical arts are currently smothered due to Corona), hopefully by spring a solution will present itself! I am so glad the discovery of this Archive came when it did. The story is so fresh in my mind and the Archive’s values in rapid-response collection and full inclusivity match perfectly with our current state. I hope this story is inspiring and empathetic to those who read as every story I have thus read on this Archive has made me feel stronger and more confident amidst a terrible storm. Thank you for reading! Ian Stewart -
04/15/2020
Alma Madrid Oral History, 2020/04/15
Liza Black interviews Alma Madrid, an American citizen in lockdown in Valencia, Spain. During the interview, we learn Alma is an English teacher whose visa is soon expiring, and will soon need to move back to the United States. Alma’s wedding plans and future educational goals have been ruined by COVID-19. Alma shares her experience with the difference in reactions between the United States and Spain. -
2020-04-21
Marriage in Quarantine
This is a humorous account of what many couples felt like when they were "stuck with each other" at home in quarantine. We bug each other, we can't live with each other, yet we can't get away from each other. Add kids to the mix, and you have endless cabin fever and chaos. -
2020-06-12
I can't leave.
My wife and I moved to an expensive metro area for her job last year---it's a specialized skillset in a limited market that doesn't pay well, but one she's very passionate about. She has since been furloughed (two months to start, officially TBD for an end date), while my job has moved fully remote through the end of the year. I hate this job. I was already looking for other work shortly after we moved here. There are no job prospects in this area (even if I wanted to go outside, which I don't), and more employers in my industry shifting towards remote work means that suddenly I am in competition with everyone else globally for every position I go up for. We have no idea if my wife is going to have her job or not next month. Our lease on our apartment has 9 months left on it. On my salary + her unemployment, we can barely afford it now, but the real estate market here is so bad that we definitely wouldn't be able to afford anything else when our lease is up at the rate things are going. I cannot quit my job or we will be homeless, with or without my wife's job coming back. If her job doesn't come back, we will be stuck in this lease for 9 months for no reason. My life is a prison cell without a door or window. There is no way out that I can see. The chop of low-flying helicopters and the whine of emergency sirens every night make it hard to sleep while the world burns. I can only hope that something better is born from the ashes, and that I'll be able to see it before I go. -
2020-03-26
Humorous Meme about Sex and Marriage while in Quarantine
This is a meme that offers commentary on both marriage and quarantine. There were questions about the safety of having sex during the Coronavirus period, and one New York Times article even went so far as to say to avoid it except “with yourself.” This meme was a humorous commentary on the state of marriage—couples don’t have sex anyway, so they can just continue on as they always have. -
2020-03-26
Quarantine Marital Problems
When COVID-19 hit and we were all quarantined with our families, the cracks in our relationships began to fracture in some cases. There were a lot of jokes about marriage and this meme shows that this particular couple had fissures so big and the wife was so desperate, she was digging a grave. Her husband was clueless about her plans, but who knows? Maybe he had similar plans of his own. This is funny because of course no one will actually kill his/her spouse no matter how badly they might want to! Right? -
2020-03-27
Qashqai Wedding; Unique Ceremony of Iranian Nomadic People
"One of the happiest and most indigenous celebrations in Iran is the Qashqa’i wedding. The people of this tribe do their best to hold a glorious ceremony." -
2020-02-16
A Kiss Across the Glass
The girl in the photo called Ying Cheng, Five other colleagues from her hospital received an emergency notification from the hospital: the negative pressure ward will be activated at any time! After receiving the notice, she didn't have much time to explain to her family one by one, and she immediately returned to the hospital to prepare to enter the front line "battlefield". Since then, Ying Cheng has stayed in the negative pressure ward every day, guarding the diagnosed patients against a distance. In front of the infection building of the Fourth Affiliated Hospital of Zhejiang University School of Medicine, her boyfriend met across the glass. This is the first time they have met in 11 days. The two talked on the phone and talked to each other, kissing through the glass. The couple agreed at the time: "When the epidemic is over and she comes out of the hospital, the first thing is to get married." -
2020-05-29
Italian Wife Plays Recorder. Husband Is not Pleased.
During the Corona outbreak, people in Italy sang in unison from their balconies. However, in this home, the husband was fed up with the noise and the awful recorder playing. So he lashed out. She yelled back at him. This shows how tensions in a marriage were greatly heightened by being forced to spend 24 hours a day with each other, seven days a week. -
05/22/2020
An Instagram post showing socially distanced marriage booths in Anaheim, CA.
NBC news on Instagram shares a photo of a couple waiting to get married at a socially distanced marriage booth in Anaheim, CA. Many weddings were postponed or cancelled as a result of the virus, but many couples have still gotten married in the face of it all. -
04/01/2020
A couple who had to cancel their anniversary plans spend it recreating wedding photos in Animal Crossing instead
A user shared a screenshot of a wedding photo they recreated in Animal Crossing on the reddit.com/r/AnimalCrossing subreddit. The virus canceled a lot of plans for people and people are finding new and innovative ways to still have a celebration of the event in the safety of their own homes. Video games have been a good resource for socializing safely for those able to access them. -
2020-03-31
Living Alone
I work in a hospital, and I am scared of bringing COVID home to my husband. I am sleeping in the bedroom while he sleeps on the couch. I am only using the basement entrance to our apartment. We are sharing the bathroom and bleaching it a lot. I am not entering the rest of our living space. I can’t get into the kitchen or living room. We are not coming any closer than 6 feet from each other. I miss him.