Items

• 
  2021-02-24

  Zero Options

  Through my journey of motherhood, I have often felt like my "superpower" derived from simply having no other option. As a military spouse, a grad student, and a mother of two I often go the "I could never do it" talk from kidless friends and family. I wouldn't say that Covid has created more of these conversations, but I do feel like mothers have been more vocal about this aspect of motherhood. I feel so connected to my role as a mother through this global pandemic. Mothers are coming together and sharing the ups AND downs. It's hard, it's exhausting and draining, mothering during a pandemic seems impossible, but mothers get it done, just as we did a year ago before Covid. This Instagram post says mothers have not been given a superpower to get through this pandemic, I think Covid has shown me my superpower though. My tribe of mom friends encourages me, uplifts me, and grounds me at the same time. We laugh together, we cry together, and on tough days, we drink together.
• 2021-02-25

  Conditions of Release

  My 80-year old mother got her second vaccine dose on January 25. She is now anxious to get out in the world. She wants to resume doing her own grocery shopping, and she really wants to get her hair done. I half-jokingly told her that the family would have to confer about her "conditions of release" (the kind of term used when people are released from jail or prison). After having just such a conference, we decided that after the second shot had two weeks to become effective, we thought it would be all right for her to start shopping in stores again, under the condition that she of course wore a mask and went out when stores would not be crowded. We advised her not to get her hair done, as that would put her in close proximity to one person indoors for an extended period. Mom was disappointed about that, but accepted the conclusion.
• 
  2021-02-14

  Essential vs. Expendable Workers

  When the pandemic broke out, I was caught in the whirlwind of being an essential worker. I was a manager at my local McDonalds, so I've seen just how cruel people can be, and how corporations have continued to neglected their workers. Many people are minimum wage workers, and its frightening to know that such a large population is suffering so much, only to receive little appreciation and change. Through my personal story, I hope to have readers step in the shoes of a minimum wage worker than a pandemic, so when they step out, they'll raise awareness on the issue of lack of support and care for minimum wage workers.
• 
  2020-03-13

  The Silver Lining

  On March 13th, the day after my birthday, I had treated myself to finally getting my septum pierced after wanting that piercing for months beforehand. Little did I know then that I would be almost the only one that has seen it in person since then. Two days after that, we had received an email from our university’s administration informing us that we would be allowed to leave school and continue classes online at home if we felt unsafe at school as concerns of the virus got bigger and louder with each passing day. The writing was on the wall; Duquesne University was going to be closing down. That email would come on the car ride back home an hour after me and my sister had already left campus. Once the semester was over and summer began, even with our own specific set of challenges, I actually feel my family was surprisingly equipped to handle the new world we were thrust into. Both of my parents are severely disabled; my mother has not been physically able to work for years and my father recently had to give up his floor cleaning services once his health gave out. As a family, we’ve found that we are much stronger together, and we “make it work” as they say. My mom did have a little fun in responding to our physically healthy friends and family talking about being trapped in their house for months on end with “Welcome to the club, you get used to it.” She was always (mostly) joking, of course, but I do think there is some truth to this joke. I grew up with a mom who rapidly succumbed to multiple debilitating chronic disorders, and that kind of circumstance opens your eyes to different experiences than many of your peers who did not experience the same. Listening to the words of more people than I can count who thought being disabled was all about staying home and collecting a check have now maybe had their opinions changed based on this new perspective, I hope so at least. This all being said, I also have to acknowledge the privilege I have in having a socially stable homelife. I personally know more than a few friends from school who had genuine, serious concerns for their mental or physical wellbeing when we were told everyone had to return home. I try to remember every day not to take what I have for granted. If the plague year has taught me anything, it is that I have a lot to be grateful for.
• 2021-02-11

  Vaccinated!

  Relief was what I felt when I received my covid vaccine. I felt even more relief when my 21-year-old daughter was able to receive her vaccine since she would not have been able to have gotten vaccinated until early summer. My first vaccine appointment was at 12:30 in the morning, and my daughter rode along with me to keep me company since I had to drive to State Farm Stadium. As we exited the freeway to go to the stadium, the parking lot where the vaccines were being administered could be seen, and I was surprised that it looked relatively vacant of vehicles. When we reached the parking lot, we were directed to follow the signs and pull up to the first checkpoint, where a person verified I had an appointment. At the second checkpoint, a person scanned in my appointment and asked if my passenger had an appointment as well. I told the person “no,” and they said, “we have had a lot of people not show up tonight for their vaccination, so if your passenger would like to get vaccinated, they are welcome to do so.” I immediately accepted the offer for my daughter to get her vaccination, and we were directed to another spot where she could fill out her paperwork for getting a shot. Once my daughter completed her paperwork, we were sent to wait in a line where the vaccines were administered, and after a five-minute wait, we had our first vaccine. After we had our shots, we were directed to wait in a line of cars for fifteen minutes to ensure we did not have any adverse reactions to the vaccination. While waiting for the fifteen minutes, an individual came to our vehicle and scheduled our second vaccination appointment, which was a huge relief since going through the computer system the state had established was cumbersome. What was surprising to my daughter and me was that while we waited during that fifteen-minute time frame, a nurse came by to ask us how we were feeling. We both said we were okay and stated we were surprised that we could get through the vaccine process so quickly and how there were so few cars. The nurse told us that many people were skipping out of their appointsments out of fear of rumored side effects from the vaccine, which was why there was extra serum for individuals like my daughter, who had ridden along. So I had the right schedule for the right night for my daughter to ride along. And now my whole household has been inoculated, which is a relief after three times of being in quarantine. Whew!
• 
  2020-12-01

  Tea Time Together

  I am very close with my mom, and used to regularly visit my grandmother, but I moved across the country right before Covid-19 and was unable to visit this year. I was feeling extremely homesick during the fall, as my grandmother and I have birthdays near each other and usually celebrate together but we were unable to do so this year. While my grandmother and I did send letters and cards to each other and I facetime with my mom fairly often, I was still experiencing a feeling of loss and a lack of connection. To bring us together, my mom proposed that the three of us all use the same tea advent calendar to celebrate the holidays. We all got the same mug, the same tea set, and spent the month of December enjoying tea from three different places, which allowed us to feel a sense of togetherness, even when we are apart.
• 
  2021-02-02

  Holding her Baby for the First Time

  As a mother of two, two thoughts have plagued the darkest corners of my mind for the past ten months: “I can’t let anything happen to the kids” and “what would happen if something happened to me?” The thoughts terrify me so much I can’t even say them aloud. So, to read about pregnant women trying to safely bring life into the world amidst the pandemic is an unbearable thought. The thought of being pregnant right now is truly terrifying, so this article struck a deep chord when I read it. A woman at the very end of her pregnancy contracted Covid-19, gave birth while unconscious, and then spent 75 days on oxygen and a ventilator. Her baby was born November 4, and just this past week, on January 27, she was able to hold her for the first time. Seeing the pictures of this mom, who I don’t know and will never meet, with her baby is a wonderful moment of hope. Clearly this family has a long road ahead, as the mom is still weak and on oxygen. However, when you see the pictures of them together, the oxygen mask seems to disappear and all I see is a mother’s love and true joy. A story of survival, and a glimmer of hope in a year that has been bleak.
• 2021-02-04

  My Mother Will Be 80 Years Old This Week

  My mother will have her eightieth birthday this Sunday. She is not likely to share her story here. She has a computer and uses the Internet. However, she usually only looks at other people’s posts on Facebook and does not use Twitter at all. I will therefore tell some of her story myself. My mother has been stuck in her house for nearly a year now. She lives only a mile or two from each of us, so my sister and I get her groceries for her so she does not risk exposure to the virus. My mother was resistant to this for a while, from a combination of independence, a disinclination to impose on others, and a plain desire to get out of the house. My mother probably has not gotten a hug from anyone in nearly a year. We call her nearly every day, and we do visit with her on patio, but we always keep our distance. As much as she would like to see people more, she does not want to break social distancing. In her view, she has stuck with it this long and does not want to waste that effort. When I talk to my mother, she often expresses boredom. She reads, works on puzzles, watches television, and calls family (although she does not want to bother people). The other day I half-jokingly suggested that she spend some time writing her memoirs. It would be a gift for her children and grandchildren to record her life experiences. My mother has started writing several pages a day. She writes long-hand in a notepad, then types up what she wrote on her computer. I was amused when she told me this, because I have not written that way in more than thirty years, and younger generations likely could not imagine doing it this way. My mother made one of her rare trips outside the house last week. She was able to navigate the website and get herself an appointment for a COVID vaccination. I was rather proud of her for persistently navigating a website that I found confusing and difficult to use. Her persistence in seeking a vaccination speaks to her eagerness to get life back to normal.
• 2021-02-02

  First Round Vaccines!

  I stayed up late Monday night and headed over to my parents house around midnight. Their appointments were at 2:48 AM (and I had a time getting them appointments together), but we were planning to arrive early and expected to spend hours in line. I made myself a thermos of coffee and loaded an extra air tank into the car for my dad, in case the wait was longer than one tank’s capacity, and reminded both parents to bring their phones and tablets. It felt a little bit like loading up my niece and nephew for a road trip. We drove out to the stadium, the suburb’s quiet and empty, then followed the signs to the appropriate parking lot. It was surprisingly empty and I wove the car through the cones set up to guide a much longer line. We arrived at the first of three drive-thru tents, where my parents answered a set of questions about their health and medications. The car acquired a bit of caution tape on the side mirror and some notes on the window about blood thinners. At the third tent, they got their shots. We parked and waited thirty minutes rather than the standard fifteen since Mom has a penicillin allergy. They got their shots at 1:36 AM and we were released to leave at 2:06. We were back at their house before the original appointment time. I unloaded the air tanks and said my good nights then drove through the silent streets back to my apartment.
• 2020-01-25

  Statistics and final thoughts

  Covid 19 originates in China at the beginning of 2020. The first cases in the U.S. were in March when they have an average of 19 people died. December was the most severe part of the time when there was an average of 44,602 people died. Due to the number of covid victims and deaths, my mother and I decided not to visit our family in China until the pandemic settles down. Covid 19 made me more careful with my health; I took steps to prevent myself from getting sick. It changed my daily routine, but I soon get used to it.
• 
  2021-01-24

  Wearing Me Out

  I am a contrarian. When the culture seems to be telling me to go outside and enjoy the sunshine and beaches (I'm on the coast of Florida) I always did the opposite. I was a shut-in for my entire life and had always disliked being adventurous, open, courageous. Probably, I was just anxious and scared. I was just beginning to open up at the beginning of the year and when COVID became the prime news and media and the culture seemed to flip and become about isolation and shutting-in... I snapped. I said no, I won't. I won't stay inside any longer. I won't isolate myself from others. I started taking better care of myself, doing yoga on the beach, watching my diet, working out daily, threw out half my wardrobe, and bought these boots. I put myself out there and met many people that changed my life for the better. I am now adventurous, courageous, forthcoming, and open to new people and experiences and, in my opinion, it is all thanks to the quarantine and shut-down. I did contract COVID and did isolate with my family who all also caught it (my mother brought it home from work, where they all wear masks). These boots carried me through this year and have made me feel confident in myself and what I can do for the first time in a long time.
• 2021-01-24

  Food, COVID-19, and my Mother

  My mom raised her children around food. She made sure everything revolved around it just like the Earth revolves around the Sun. We ate whether we wanted to or not, as food was her way of showing love. Mom is now in her late 70's and still works miracles in the kitchen. When we visited my parents' house (pre-pandemic), she fed us until we could not eat anymore, then declared we were still hungry and loaded our plates with more. That is what Mexican moms do, she always says. Even though we protest, my husband, kids, and I love it. All of this changed once COVID-19 hit. Worried about my parents catching the virus, we did not see much of them in 2020. When we did, it was from a distance in their backyard and not for very long. It took an enormous toll on my mom. My parents cannot visit with their children and grandchildren, but almost just as worse, my mom has no one to cook for but my dad. Although she still enjoys cooking for him, it is not the same. Although we all know what food means to her, none of us realized just how much until this pandemic hit. Normally, she is rarely sick, loves to hike, and enjoys going to aerobics with her friends. However, lately, she has felt melancholy, is getting headaches, and is sleeping more. This is extremely unusual for her, which has us all very concerned. This pandemic is wearing on her both physically and emotionally. This feisty woman is slowing down, which is scary to us all. Over the past year, we continue to tell her we want to come over but would never forgive ourselves if we unknowingly pass the virus to her or my dad. Mom did not and still does not understand. She just wants what she wants, which is her family surrounding her. My dad is much more pragmatic about this situation, but mom will not have any of it. She is incredibly frustrated and is not afraid to tell us about it. Luckily, both of my parents just got their first dose of the vaccine last week. My dad said this gives them renewed hope that their family will be together again soon. I hear this hope when I speak on the phone with my mom. She is ready to get busy again in the kitchen. I cannot wait to eat her homemade tortillas straight off the stove, her spicy chili, and all of her other tasty dishes. People are now talking about the 'new normal.' I do not want a new normal. I want to get back all that this pandemic has taken from us, including my family crowding around a table full of my mom’s food.
• 
  2020-12-10

  Baby born to Sacramento mother in ICU, on ventilator with COVID-19

  A pregnant mother, and nurse, living in Sacramento, California contracts COVID-19 in her seventh month of pregnancy and delivers her third child. This news article captures some of the emotional struggles she went through from being diagnosed while pregnant and delivering her child. Through this woman’s story, we gain some insight into a mother’s experience of both being sick with COVID-19 and delivering a child during the pandemic.
• 2020-12-25

  Holidays in COVID

  Holidays have never been particularly important in my family. Most holidays would end in a fight between me and my mother so the lack of family interaction wasn't really a big deal for me. My mom ended up driving down from California to spend time with my grandmother and me. These holidays ended up being good as my mom and I got along better. It seems as though without the pressure for the holidays to be fully good my mom and I were able to let go and just enjoy being around each other.
• 2021-01-21

  Waiting to Hug

  My mom is 79 years old. Next month she will turn 80. Her age and health history put her at risk if she were to contract covid. Therefore, she has isolated herself for almost a year. Both my brother and I bring her food and supplies and talk to her constantly. We also see her often safely socially distanced and with masks. Since this is a very special birthday, I am not sure yet how we will celebrate. For other birthdays in our family, we assigned and dropped off food to each other and then went back to our respective homes and ate “together” on Zoom. It was awkward, but it worked. I guess we can do something similar. I just feel bad that my mom has been alone in her house for so long. It will have been almost a year since we have hugged, or anyone has hugged her. She is a tough person though and not letting it get to her at all. I know she misses close contact with my kids though. She misses reading books to them snuggled up on the couch. Thankfully, she will get the first dose of the vaccine on Tuesday. I’ve calculated that by the first week of March, maybe just maybe, we can all give her a big hug, finally.
• 2021-01-20

  Pancakes for Dinner

  My junior year in high school isn't like any other school year because I could describe it as probably the bumpiest roller coaster I've ever been on. This is because I get to watch Gilmore Girls on Netflix during lunch and lay in bed while logging onto zoom for classes. But the downside is I've been simply alone and away from friends or even teachers for that matter, that I'm supposed to see every week day. Facetime calls are never the same as meeting up with someone in real life so that goes for making up time away from actual school, but I've learned to cherish these moments I have. My family is home majority of the time, and I get to hear my dad play his guitar more often or stay up late with my mom watching Sinister 2 or play Call of Duty Cold War with my brothers. Whatever it is, I'm grateful for this break away from the usual, and I have the opportunity to focus on myself for once. Before quarantine, school was draining me out as I had early classes and I really needed a break, so fortunately, I got one. I've finally found time to think about what I truly want to do in life, and what my future plans are for college because I never really got the time for that during school. I've learned a lot about my interests as well and even time for self-care and all the girly pamper routines. Some days I like to treat myself with homemade pancakes, my favorite, and eat them at any time of day just because I can and I can make them whenever I'd like. Staying home has its pros and cons, but as of now, its important to follow strict protocols in order to safely recover and protect others! so don't forget to wear a mask and social distance when you leave the house because we're all in this together!!
• 
  2021-01-19

  Reflections on Covid from the perspective of the Immune compromised.

  Personal Reflection
• 2021-01-18

  My Covid-19 Experience

  My experience of the pandemic was overall very miserable and affected me and my family very greatly. It was a normal day for everyone when we all found out we would not be able to go to school for two weeks. That same day, I was feeling sick. I had a mild cough, a sore throat, and shortness of breath. My friends were super worried for me because those were all signs of the coronavirus, I brushed it off though, and claimed it was just a cold. A few days later, spring break started and my mom tested positive for Covid-19. Then, I tested positive for Covid-19. It was really difficult to avoid becoming infected since I was living with my mom, and even though she was quarantining, my whole family was still bound to get sick. Being infected with a new virus that shook the whole entire world was as it would seem to be; scary. Then, the death of my uncle saddened my whole extended family. It was extremely unexpected and hurtful, especially for my dad. Throughout quarantine, I had a lot of time to reflect and spend time with my siblings and parents after we were cured of Covid. Online school was a struggle for all of us, but I mostly had a problem with it since I was ending eighth grade. It was very stressful for me to do my work and focus on school. I was very annoyed by online classes and my brothers. Every single day was the same, and it was like an ongoing loop going on forever. I thought it would never end and I was sure I was going crazy being trapped inside my house for such a long time. However, I got a chance to see life how it really is. I realized that anything could happen at any given moment and I have to be more aware of myself and my surroundings. It was a really unreal experience and I am looking forward to putting it behind me and acknowledging it as history.
• 
  2021-01-16

  Enjoying home life

  This is a brief entry describing some of my favorite personal things to come about from the pandemic. There were many difficulties faced, but still, experiences to enjoy and appreciate.
• 2021-01-11

  COVID-19:first occurences

  It was a cool, crisp, Monday morning. January 13, 2020. I remember the day so clear that I could recall it in deep detail. I had just returned to school a few days prior. I went on my new iPhone 11, which I had just received as a Christmas present, and began texting friends. I soon went onto an app called TikTok, went onto the for you page. There was lots of silly videos. Then, suddenly, I saw a video joking about some virus in China. But it was in China!! So for away. I thought it would never make it to America. I began researching it but time was limited. I thought it was just a regular virus, I doubted it wound affect me. I quickly ate an English Muffin with creamy apricot jelly and butter on top. I got in the cary and talked to my mom on the way to school. "Mom," I muttered as my brother sat silently in the front seat while I was in the back seat of the Prius, "what is this corona thing I heard about?". MY mom breathed out harshly and then back in. She promised me that it was just a little virus in China and that everything would be okay. We hugged goodbye, little did I know that in a few months, she would be the one of the only people I could hug. Then I went to school and said hello to my friends. To be completely honest, there was one of them that was not super kind to me, for privacy's sake, we are going to call her Bailey. I asked my not so friendly friend, Bailey if the had heard about Corona (which was the slang everyone was using to refer to it). "Ya duh!" she replied, "It's a huge virus that China created!". I was not interested in starting conspiracies. Then I went to class and my mind continued spinning for the rest of the day.
• 2020-06-15

  Returning Home

  When the pandemic hit the United States, I was sent home from college on March 18, 2020. I was frustrated and upset, to say the least, because I was finally learning to love my life as a college student. On the bright side, I got to escape the cold bite of a Chicago winter and trade it for sunny Southern California, my home. What I did not expect was the rising tensions between my mother and me that I would have to face. Growing up, my mother and I had a healthy, strong relationship. She was my hero. My mother is a single mom and has been since I was five years old. She is an incredibly kind, hard-working woman, and she means everything to me. Unfortunately, our relationship is not the same as it was when I was a child. I used to blindly agree with her about everything. Spending time on my own in college, I realized I wasn't being myself when I was around her. I had differing opinions and wanted to grow without the influence of my mother. So I did. I grew into my own person and allowed myself to make my own mind up about things. Coming home, my mother was surprised at how I had changed and disliked me in a way she never had before. As weeks passed in our house, tensions between us rose. We didn't do things the same way, had differing priorities, and most importantly, differing personalities. With the pandemic keeping us cooped up in the house most days, anger was bubbling to the surface. It's only natural when two people as stubborn as my mother and me can't confront one another about the shift between us. Luckily, we have not had a large, dramatic outburst. We have since peacefully accepted the fact that we are never going to interact the way we did when I was a kid. I think the pandemic has created a lot of familial tensions such as my own. My friends have called me with their own stories of arguments with the parents and siblings. It would be easy to dimiss this as common as it happens around family reunions for everyone. However, I think what makes familial tensions during the pandemic so unique is how much we rely on each other right now. One of us could catch the virus any day now. One misstep of being unsafe could put my whole family at risk. So despite the disagreements between us, I love my mother more than ever, and I fear for her life more than ever. So many have passed that I and many others have come to understand how important putting aside tensions to love one another truly is.
• 
  2020-12-13

  I found a Community.

  Being in quarantine with a toddler can be isolating, They don’t understand you like other adults do, their vocabulary is growing, but mainly you hear, “mama” all day. So I found a community. I found other moms in my position. I wrote posts and engaged in conversation. I asked them about their experiences during this pandemic. I heard stories of despair, of growth, or isolation. I remember them now and always will. COVID-19 has caused a lot of distress for mothers across the world; losing those few hours out of the house, interacting with other adults, being able to forget the toys strewn about the house and the magic marker on the walls. So we found a community. We talk about our children, our families, the things we miss, the changes we’ve had to make, the things we can’t wait to do and we found solace in the comfort of each other. Even if we’ve never meet in real life; during the pandemic, we found a community.
• 
  2020-12-05

  Amidst It All, Be Grateful.

  It’s tough having the world you known flipped upside down, for so many mothers during the pandemic, their entire way of living has been altered. A change from clocking into work every day to getting up to sit with their children for remote learning. It was trading in their work uniforms for sweat pants and unbrushed hair. It’s changed from keeping record of their timesheets to scrolling the endless Facebook feeds in their only hour alone every day. However, it’s beautiful to watch your child grow. To see their face light up every morning while you exhaustedly make a cup of coffee and try to prepare yourself for a day of raising your children. It’s amazing to see them learn a new word or conquer their math homework without your help. It’s being able to make them home cooked meals, even if they are just grilled cheese and soup. Amidst all of the craziness COVID has caused, we get to be there to witness our children grow and for that, there’s something to be grateful for.
• 
  2020-11-18

  Working Full Time as a Mother and Student During a Pandemic: Interview with Ashley Trayler

  The interview is with Ashley Trayler, a senior undergraduate student majoring in Criminal Justice and Psychology. Ashley is not only a student but a mother of a two-year-old named Adrian. In the interview, Ashley discusses her life before the pandemic, which involved taking care of her son and working full time at a call center. Once the pandemic hit, Ashley was impacted by job loss, facing financial obstacles, and being a college student transitioning to virtual school. Ashley has made many sacrifices to adapt to obstacles that have come her way caused by COVID-19, but she has remained strong by taking herself and prioritizing her health to be the best mother, student, and person she can be.
• 
  2020-08-30

  Amplified Uncertainty

  With the car all loaded up and ready to go, my mother and I posed for one last picture together before I embarked on a new chapter in my life. My mother tried to muster up a smile and wipe away the tears as my dad snapped the picture, but the emotion surrounding this day engulf her. Despite being in the midst of a pandemic, I had decided to attend university in the fall. However, pandemic aside, this day was already an emotional toll on my mother. I was the last of her children going off to college and unlike my siblings, I would not be a short hour-long car ride away. I had chosen to attend Northeastern University in Boston, a not-so-short fourteen-hour car ride away. Everything about this day was new territory for her—not having kids in the house for the first time and one of her children moving far away. And to only make it worse, I was leaving her in the middle of a pandemic. What this pandemic means to my mother is an added layer of anxiety or worry. My mother is very cautious about contracting the virus and above all, she worried about her loved ones contracting it. And now her youngest child left for college in a new state and new city unfamiliar to her, all the while a deadly virus was spreading across the country uncontrollably. The pandemic has taken the already stressful times in our lives and amplified them, adding a new layer of worry and uncertainty.
• 
  2020-11-04

  Nurse and mother of 5 dies of coronavirus

  A NICU nurse died of coronavirus after she and family tested positive for it. The doctor claims that she had sepsis, pneumonia and coronavirus when she passed away. She left behind her 5 children. They say that she, "Desired to make the world a better place".
• 2020-06

  A Difference Between Blue Lives and Black Lives.

  This experience was a phone call I had with my mother in June. My mother is a corrections officer and works in the local jail. Amidst the height of the Black Lives Matter protests, I was discussing with my mom that I value her and the work she does, yet I fully support the BLM movement and the demand for justice. The conversation shifted to white privilege and I shared my ideas on what white privilege is and how it shows up. Towards the end of the conversation, my mother stated that she should be able to wear her uniform in public without being criticized, judged, or feeling unsafe, and how it was ‘unfair’ that the BLM movement targeted police officers. My response was, “at least you have the option to take your uniform and feel safe, whereas black people do not have that option.”
• 
  2020-10-29

  How the Pandemic Changed Us

  On March 13th, 2020, my entire life shut down with the rest of Massachusetts. My public school job closed, my university closed and my life began only existing in the four rooms of my apartment. My time became dedicated to my toddler, I became a stay at home mom, student and caretaker full time. The world around us had stopped completely, or so it felt. Quarantine was in full affect and people were stuck inside for months.Then, almost magically, our communities began to come together. I have witnessed some of the most beautiful things I for so long ignored because of the business of every day life, I witnessed nature and humanity again. I began appreciating the little things again. Quarantine had become a time to reflect, grow and appreciate the world around me. This horrible situation began to blossom into people supporting each other, clapping for the healthcare workers nightly, singing together out their windows, thanking each other. I share this image because I realized in the midst of everything that has been bad about this year, I’m reminded daily that there is always positivity in the world, even when everything around us feels negative.
• 
  2020-09-21

  Loss in a COVID World

  I believe this is a point of interest to talk about, since it’s likely that many will wonder, out of innocent curiosity, what it’s like to lose someone in a time of crisis. I should describe it as transcendental. May your soul be touched. My beloved mother didn’t die from COVID-19. She had been unknowingly battling cancer for several years, and had it diagnosed at its most lethal stage. I still shake my hands at the doctors who had ignored her concerns for all this time, because maybe she would still have been here if it weren’t for them. But how would that affect me? Would things remain the same at home? I have to say, I shudder at this thought, too. Colon cancer, which metastasized in the liver. She passed from liver failure in the later part of this year, 2020. I, the foolish child, was so preoccupied that I couldn’t understand why my uncle woke me at 4 am in the morning that day. With a classic sleepy rub of the eye, I told him, “I have a math test today.” And if it hadn’t been for the pain in his eyes, I wouldn’t have gotten up at all. There she was, lying eerily still in her bed, but she was also gone. As the people around me sobbed and turned away, all I could do was stand and stare. It felt like something was out of place. I felt out of place. If you could try to imagine it, remain perfectly still as you are and think of yourself exiting your body. Look around you without looking. That’s how it felt, everything slightly blurry by the darkness, lightness in my feet as if I were floating, a static, metal taste in my mouth, the sounds of sobbing flooding my ears, I couldn't handle it. I started to cry, and buried myself in the crook of my brother’s chest for support. To be in the unknown, and lose what you have, is the most frightening experience I wish for nobody else to have gone through. The pain is truly insufferable… but the healing process counts for so much of who I define myself as now, that I couldn’t imagine the year going any other way. The funeral was held the following sunday. It too was such a different experience. We took many long, empty roads to reach the cemetery. Seeing few cars on the road is commonplace for such a road, but to see none at all was creepy. I relinquished my thoughts to sleep. Upon our arrival, I put my mask on and stood before 50 some odd people who had come to see my mother off. That’s right, I thought comfortably, Mom was very well loved. The notion was reassuring. We exchanged hugs and hellos and sorrys, all the usual pleasantries you would expect at an event not so pleasant, and made our way to the casket for the gathering to take place. I’ll leave the eulogy I wrote here, in case you were curious and thought, I wonder what this stranger said at their mother’s funeral, because this is expected when you are here to read about losing a loved one. Finally, when all was said and done, condolences were given again. This time, though, I hardly recognized anyone. It must’ve been the masks that obstructed our faces, because I saw the attendees, and they saw me, but it was still so unfamiliar. The later part of that day I spent confused. I suppose that’s how we start when we learn to adjust, which I did. Presently I am still healing, but it’s not so bittersweet when I think of her, moreso sweet than bitter. The metal taste in my mouth begins to wear off, and I am feeling free. I hope she also feels free. And I hope this provided the insight you were looking for when you came across this page. We all love and lose in the end. Focus your energy towards healing, and you will learn to grow with the changes.
• 
  2020-10-21

  Making Halloween Ornaments

  Since we can't go out and celebrate Halloween this year, we made Halloween ornaments to make October feel a little more festive. We worked on them throughout October so they would be done by Halloween, that way we could display them. Each one is cross-stitch done of perforated paper and doing one took about a week. My mom and I each did one and my older sister did two
• 
  2020-10-16

  The scariest day as a Mom

  It was February 22nd, 2020 in what seemed like a very normal day for my family. We were on a club softball trip with my oldest daughter in bright and sunny Palm Springs California. We drove up to Palm Springs in the morning and watched my daughter play her regular three games. Nothing unusual for us, she’s been playing travel club for two years. After a quick shower and out the door to join the rest of her team for dinner, I turn around in the care and see my very active two year old son completely lethargic with very little response to us. I immediately began to tell my husband that we needed to find an urgent care because I knew looking at my son that he was not getting enough oxygen. Not being from California, I started to Google “urgent cares near me” I found one not too far away but I was told they did not take walk-ins and referred me to another urgent care across the town. Furious, my husband drives like a madman to the next urgent care. The nurse immediately took us to a room where she said to me that he needed to have a breathing treatment on the spot and his fever was 103 so they would be giving him fever-relief medicine. After about thirty minutes-a albuterol treatment and two different fever-relievers, we were released with the understanding that he had had a respiratory something (they couldn’t tell us what exactly it was), we were sent to get prescription. Well as unluck would have us, all of the near pharmacies were closed. We finally ended up at a Walmart, who was also about to close, where I finally lost it as mom, crying and begging the poor pharmacist to please fill my son’s prescription. Thank goodness she agreed, probably because of this sobbing mess that I was. Either that was enough. My husband made the executive decision to drive back home to Phoenix that night. Twelve hours from the time we first left AZ to we were on our way home. That Monday, we took my son to his primary care doctor who also couldn’t give us much of a diagnosis other than he was suffering from a very unusual respiratory virus. He was never tested for COVID-19, but my poor son was on breathing treatments for a week straight and his 103 fever finally broke….5 days later. At the follow up, in the beginning of March, we were told that my son probably had COVID-19, although testing was not really happening at this time. My son made a full recovery by the time our whole State and Nation shut down. But the experience I had with this virus was terrible and that day that I had with my son was the scariest moment I have ever felt as a mom. I am sharing this story because one, I want people to realize that this virus can affect children and that it has also been around for longer than people may have realized.
• 
  2020-10-16

  Stress and hair loss

  I’ve felt a lot more stressed since my daughter started school this fall. I’ve also noticed that when I take a shower, hair washes out with each wash. Losing some hair seems normal, but it’s felt like a lot of hair lately, or at least a lot more hair than should fall out. It’s a really subjective measurement, but let’s just say it’s more than normal based on the past 15 years. I’ve been wondering if I should just shave my whole head and start over? Not in a midlife crisis sort of way, but just to start over with healthy hair and more vitamins. I was on FB reading posts in a mom group I’m in. This particular group is for moms who had babies in 2018. I read a post today that talked about stress and hair loss, and I thought…yes…I’m going through something similar. I’m losing hair every day, but I can’t even stop to deal with it, because honestly, I don’t want to deal with one.more.thing. I’d rather just ignore this thing and hope it goes away.
• 0020-10-16

  Revitalizing Cultural Gardening

  When the stay at home order hit, I was in a tailspin wondering what to do at home. I couldn’t imagine working from home and teaching my children might last from March to September. Something amazing happened. For over ten years, I talked and dreamed of gardening. I recalled my grandmother gardening when I was a child. She taught all of her grandchildren her indigenous knowledge of growing food from the land. Working from home and homeschooling during the day, allowed us to take breaks and walk to our yard for gardening. The location of our garden in relation to home, work, and school was very convenient. Gardening allowed me to learn the different smells of dirt. The clay and muddy kind of dirt needed to be mixed with finer sand, manure and topsoil. The soil on my land was not sufficient for growing the plants I wanted. We worked early in the morning until the heat became too much to bear. Then we returned in the evening as the sun disappeared from the horizon. Our work included turning the soil, hauling in bags of manure and topsoil, and transporting finer dirt from areas around our home. Once the dirt and seeds were ready, the watering began. I never believed water smells different at different times of the day and months. In the morning, the cool crisp water smells light and pure. During the hotter times of the day, the water smells musky and not as refreshing. It led me to wake up early in the morning and come out late in the evening to water my plants. The smell of the damp earth will forever remind me of the journey of revitalizing cultural gardening techniques taught by my grandmother.
• 
  2020-10-15

  Feminist nightmare

  Women are leaving the workforce in record numbers. Or better yet, women are being forced out of the workforce in record numbers. Due to COVID, loss of childcare and desperation. I appreciate posts like this one, giving a voice to the voiceless in this pandemic. Women are being hurt the most due to COVID. At the top of that list are minority women, those who depended on industries like childcare.
• 
  2020-10-15

  Sounds of Chronic Lung Disease

  In January 2015, my mom got very sick and was in the hospital for 2 weeks, 3 days of which were in the ICU with a breathing tube. She was diagnosed with severe COPD and has required at-home oxygen ever since. Her disease has now progressed to end-stage. Last year, she received a non-invasive ventilator to use at night. A lot of people with COVID-19 have breathing problems even after recovering from the disease. Some of these people might have permanent lung damage and require at-home oxygen therapy and possibly non-invasive ventilators. The first recording is the sound of an oxygen machine. The second is the sound of the ventilator. At the end of the ventilator recording is the alarm that sounds when it does not detect any breathing. These sounds demonstrate the impact of COVID-19 has on its victims and the legacy it will leave behind long after the disease itself has gone away.
• 
  2020-10-13

  Possibly Fake Cards To Get Out of Wearing a Mask

  Both my mother and my brother suffer from asthma. Before mask-wearing became mandatory by law, they attempted to use a card they had found on the Internet. The card looked legitimate, but we've since found out it may have been fake. Both of them printed it out and had it laminated so they could keep it in their wallets and bags. It stated they did not have to wear a mask due to health issues. Over time, my mother kept having experiences where people in public places such as grocery stores would get upset with her and “call her out” for not wearing a mask. She still stayed six feet away from people, but this was apparently not enough to reassure some. They would become angry and verbally abusive even after she showed them the card and explained that she had asthma. Because of these incidents, she looked for alternatives to masks, including a clear plastic screen which she tied around her forehead and it covered her entire face. But this was very inconvenient and difficult to wear. At the height of the quarantine, stores would not accept the card (as I mentioned earlier, it may have even been fake). As the quarantine began winding down (right around the time restaurants started opening), she was able to wear masks for short periods of time, as long as she could take it off soon after. *My parents got it through a third party, hence why I think it may have been fake.
• 
  2020-03-25

  Bedtime Band

  Due to pandemic restrictions, I moved to work remotely in mid-March 2020. While hunkering down, this additional time spent home rather than commuting allowed for additional family time in the evening. My wife, two sons, and I would make it a point to pick up our instruments after dinnertime and sing. One song that grew from our nightly 'concert' was 'Bedtime Band.' I will never forget the little melody we created and our six and four year old playing their little drumset and ukulele. While the pandemic has brought much adversity to many, I'm grateful for the additional time I've spent with my family. *Video file converted to audio - originally recorded on my iPhone
• 
  2020-10-12

  Loud noises and Quiet Cooking

  There are two things that have marked this pandemic for me: sound and smell. He sounds of slammed doors from a very bored, angry, unsure ten-year-old boy and the smell of my late-night cooking. As a 10-year-old, he felt set adrift, when schools closed, and he couldn’t go play with his friends and they couldn’t come here. How do you explain the concept of pandemic to a kid without scaring the crap out of them? Because he was slamming the door to his room almost anytime he was spoken to, the dogs, of course, had something to say about it, because, well, they’re dogs. So, most of the day, there was slamming doors, constant barking, yelling (him), more yelling (me), crying (mostly me) and just really wanting some peace. So, I began to cook. Stock, one of the first things I learned in culinary school. Tomato sauce. Pasta. Cookies. Bread, and no, I didn’t get on the sour dough band wagon. And I would do this late at night. When it was quite and cool. Filling the house with the rich smells of food. Meals that have been frozen, stock that has been frozen or canned, cookie dough stashed away to make cookies later. I could think while I cooked. It was and is, my de-stressor. The picture is of one of my creations – “Ravioli Lasagna” – basically, using fresh ravioli (this is ricotta and spinach) as your lasagna “noodle”, layered with marinara, mozzarella and sweet Italian sausage.
• 
  2020-10-07

  Lifelong Mental Illness and the Pandemic

  Mental Health is stigmatized, especially in the United States. How does the Pandemic effect someone who had lifelong mental illness before Covid-19?
• 2020-06-13

  Lovelace Hospital's Secret Coronavirus Policy

  Lovelace Women’s Hospital in Albuquerque, New Mexico implemented a secretive policy that racially profiled Native American mothers. As expecting mothers who “looked” Native were admitted into the hospital, staff would compare their area codes to a list of zip codes belonging to Native lands such as Reservations or Pueblos. After being identified as “a person under investigation for COVID-19”, mothers were often misled or were forced into signing a wavier that gave permission for hospital staff to remove the newborns from their parents after birth. The families were only reunited once the pending coronavirus test results came back negative. Test results took up to three days to come in, thus leaving the mothers in fear and uncertainty about the wellbeing of their child. Lovelace, Native American, mothers, healthcare, newborns, separation, New Mexico indepth, ProPublica, racial profiling, New Mexico
• 2020-05-01

  Untitled

  Crowd control presses forward to end the assembly before it escalates further. A woman stayed seated as the world moved around her, and she nursed the child in her arms as her form of protest to the world happening around her as she knew it. Strangers joined her, seating themselves and protecting her and her child from being trampled by the swelling crowd. Twenty two people were arrested. The woman with her child walked home free. A surreal contrast in the beauty and innocence of children and chaos.
• 
  2020-03-09

  Losing my Future job because of Covid19

  Just want people to know about my hardship
• 
  2020-09-18

  Interview of Victor Madsen

  Victor Madsen is a freshman at Northeastern University. He went to a high school in Florida, and he shares his experiences since the beginning of the pandemic. Mr. Madsen shares his story about how he was stuck in the Bahamas for a long time due to changes in traveling policies during the pandemic.
• 
  2020-09-15

  Constant interruptions

  Developmental milestones always throw off the routine. I deleted the “Wonder Years App,” so I couldn’t look up what is happening at about 30 months that makes it unlikely a child will nap, and very likely that they will cry and cling to you over the seemingly smallest of issues. It has been weeks of no naps or naps only in the car. This means that I don’t get my normal break in the day, when the 2yo naps for 2 hours and I can let the 6yo have her media time. This was our routine; this was when I got to knock out work in peace without interruptions. That precious window has been gone for weeks. Until today, finally for the first time in what feels like for freaking ever, Julian napped in a bed at home. Did I have to lie next to him to make it happen? Yes, was I anxious that it was too good to be true and he’d wake back up any second? Also yes. The 6yo, unaware that anything was different walked in the room and started chatting. I waved her away, and she ran off, presumably delighted that her media time was a go. The dog, ever aware that food was on the stove and that her dinner should occur in about 1.5 hours pushed open the door and trotted in. She’s stuck now. No one goes in or out until this nap concludes naturally. Maybe I shouldn’t be this worked up about a nap, but the extra layer of pressure has felt much more present ever since the school year started. There are more meetings to attend, and they all seem to last more than an hour. Emails can stress me out easily if they’re filled with questions. And the 6yo needs about 2-3 hours of support in the morning with distance learning and homework. Which is fine, that’s my job, I’m supposed to help her, but it also means that an important chunk of my workday is interrupted. And it’s hard to recover or snapback from constant interruptions. I feel like it's not possible to get it all done, and then I think...not getting it doesn't feel like a choice I can make. It all feels like it's my responsibility.
• 
  2020-06-08

  Hospital Adventure

  My sister has a special heart condition called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. She goes to a special heart doctor that has an office inside of the hospital which we visit every six months. Normally if I am off of school I go with my Mother and Sister. However, this time we encountered problems: Dear Diary, Today my sister went to one of her Heart Doctor appointment. When we walked up to the hospital there were two security guards. One of them stopped us and asked who had the appointment. My Mother explained to him that it was my sister. The man then asked how old my sister was and my mom told him. Because she was a minor he said that my mom could go to the appointment with her, however I was gonna have to stay outside. My mom told the man that that was not possible. I myself am only 16 and would have to wait outside by the side of the street for at least an hour and a half. Eventually the security guard told us that it would be okay, and he walked with us past another pair of guards. So we were finally in the hospital. When we got inside there were two ladies that came to take our temperature. They then questioned us, and again we had to explain our situation. They didn’t let us by until we said which part of the hospital we were going to. We thought we were alright then, cause we had made it inside. But as we walked past the front desk, one of the men that was sitting there got up and stopped us yet again. We told the same story yet again! At this point we were close to being late for the appointment, and this was bad because it would take a long time to get another appointment. Finally he relented and we made it to the appointment without any more incidents. The funny thing is that, when we got to the office, they didn't say anything. They let me in without saying anything.
• 
  2020-09-06

  Just like Mom

  In 2020 I was extremely excited to see VP candidate Kamala Harris on the ballot. It was revitalizing to see that in 2020 while all the protest were occurring, racial disparities were brought to light, and the urging to pass social reform in our major cities. When Kamala went on an interview to discuss her early life this picture came across the screen. My mom had an identical pose and hair style she wore as a teenager. This was the first time it really hit home that I could possibly have someone who looks like my mom and other black mothers that looked like mine. That as an African American we had the opportunity to see someone like us hold such a high office was very impactful and motivated me.
• 
  2020-08-06

  First day of Kindergarten

  We had been counting down this day for over a year. My oldest daughter could not wait to start kindergarten. The full impact of Covid had not hit me until her first day of school. It was nothing like I thought it would be. I snapped this picture of us (myself, my kindergartener, her little sister, and her dad) walking to the front of the school. There was no walking her to class to meet her teacher, no in class-pictures, no watching her take a seat at her desk. Instead, we walked her over with our masks on, waited while she got her temperature taken, and then watched her be escorted to her classroom since we were not allowed in class. A week after this photo was taken, her school decided it was best to do 100% remote learning. Since she is only five, she cannot understand the severity of Covid and has a hard time understanding why she can't be in class with her friends.
• 2020-08-20

  Helping my little brother move in

  Starting college can be hard at any time, and it's even harder for kids starting school during the pandemic. Since only so many people are allowed to help people move in, my brother had to pick between my mom and myself to be the last person to see him the night he moved in. He picked me, and my mom told me over the phone that she cried. Not being able to visit him has been hard because I don't even know how he's feeling during all of this. Being seperated from him because of coronoa for the first time this summer is horrible, and I know there are so many others out there separated from their loved ones because of Covid-19, as well. My brother and I hung out in each other's rooms all day over the summer, and now we can only see each other by appointment. I just hope my brother's first day of college was alright.
• 
  2020-04-01

  Caring Mums - Powered by NCJWA Vic

  The Caring Mums program is a service providing emotional support to mothers of babies and pregnant women. The program matches trained volunteers, all of whom are mothers themselves, to new mums with the goal of developing a secure trusting relationship. Through regular weekly meetings for up to a period of 12 months, mums’ feelings of isolation, anxiety and depression decrease, while their parenting confidence and sense of belonging grow significantly. Caring Mums adapted its program so that its aims and values can still be upheld during the current pandemic. We continue to see mums in our current catchment whilst growing our service into new areas, using technology, as we understand the impact this reality has on vulnerable and isolated populations, including mums already facing many new challenges.
• 
  2020-08-10

  The New Normal

  I uploaded pictures as to how the COVI19 has impacted my everyday life. The first picture shows me working out of my room because we are all working from home now and this is the quietest place in my home. I basically do everything from my room now, sleep, work and eat, it really doesn’t feel like my sanctuary anymore. The second picture is with me and my children around the kitchen table. I feel like I am losing my sanity because I now play many different roles such as: teacher, employee, student and mother. It is hard for me to hold everything together nowadays but there is no other option. This is the new normal and we are trying to get better acquainted to it. I included a picture of my children waving to their great grandmother from our truck. In the beginning of COVID19 my children were not able to see their great grandmother because no one knew who may have the virus. We had to quarantine ourselves for about a month before my children were able to see their great grandmother. Me and my children are more appreciative of my grandmother now. We really did not pay attention to how much she meant to us until we weren't able to see her whenever we wanted to. The COVID19 pandemic has taught me to appreciate the things that I hold close to me like my family, friends, health and my job. I am very fortunate that no one near me has been infected with the virus and we are all healthy. I am very fortunate that I am able to work from home, still have my job and a roof over my head. My family is getting used to the new normal and everyday it does get easier. I just hope I still have my hair and my sanity by the end of this pandemic.