Items
Tag is exactly
sad
-
2021-01-16
In Grey
It's an expression of my pain fro. Losing my daddy and it helps me to heal to tell the story thru music and video like this. -
2023-03-20
Disorientation: The Feeling I had on March 11th, 2020
What Happened on March 11th, 2020 -
2020-07-27
Desolation
The moment I saw this photo, I felt the profoundness of it. The New York subway system empty. Normally people would be walking through these gates, flooding the long hall between trains and destinations. The thing that strikes me more than the emptiness is the long tunnel leading to the exit. Well over 100 feet long the tunnel seems to go on forever, a feeling that mimics the endless period of the covid lockdown. It just felt as if it would never end, and now, looking at the tunnel I feel a sense of sadness, as if a year of my life was wasted, one that no matter how much I try to forget, I cannot. -
April 5, 2020
LOVE in the pandemic
showing both the sad and happy parts of the pandemic; showing the stereotypical lonely images that oversaturated social media, and then showing a loving family to counteract these images -
March 13, 2020
unbeknownst emptiness
I worked/attended CUNY Hunter College during the start of the pandemic. On March 13, 2020, we were informed that we would not be returning to work until further notice, and I believe that a majority of late-night classes/activities were cancelled. As a result, my friend/coworker and I walked around the near-empty campus. We ended up sneaking into an empty lecture hall, ate some snacks, and chatted about the future. I took a photo of our feet up on the seats as a sort of fun memento, to show how crazy it looked to see ourselves amongst the empty hall, and when a coworker asked where we are, we sent them that. The photo meant almost nothing at the time and was just a casual photo I took amongst many in my every day. Looking back now, it holds nostalgia as well as dread. I think the emptiness shows what was to come, and how terrifying it would be, and just how impactful the pandemic was on our lives. I have not stepped foot in Hunter since then, so that was truly my last time being in that school. It makes me sad and makes me think what the future would have held had these events not happened. -
2022-12-17
Been through it all
I got married on April 4, 2020. We had planned 125 guests. I was so excited to celebrate with everyone. I remember hearing about covid in China in February and thinking that it was so far away I shouldn't worry. While my daughter was on Spring break everything started shutting down. At first it seemed temporary. Like it would just be a week or two. Just until things died down. Then local governments started getting strict as it became apparent how dangerous covid was. As the rules changed, I had to send apologetic emails disinviting guests due to limits on gatherings. We went from 125 to 100. Then it went to 75, 50, and 25. Each time it was agonizing figuring out who would be cut from our wedding. Finally it came down to just our parents, the pastor and his family, and the photographer. I got my wedding dress back from alterations the day the shop closed down to the public. We had the wedding in my parents' backyard. The pastor's children played guitar and sang. Our honeymoon was canceled a few days before the wedding because the small county in the mountains wasn't letting anyone in who wasn't local. We had a staycation for a honeymoon and played video games together. We are a blended family. I often tell people we got married at the beginning of the pandemic. It was like "Congratulations on your new sister! You'll be with her 24/7 and never get away from her!" They quickly became sisters. They were each other's only playmate. At the same time they irritated each other just like normal siblings. It bonded them as sisters. It was hard for us when my step-daughter started kindergarten in the fall and my daughter started 2nd grade. We had alarms going off all day to try to manage their classroom google calls while my husband and I attempted to work from home. It was very stressful. My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in December 2020. At times they refused to allow my dad to accompany her to appointments. She was found crying in a hallway unable to get to the correct room. It was awful. I had to be so careful as my kids started hybrid school to not get her sick. It was hard to balance my kids' need for some stability and trying to be with my mom as much as possible. We made the decision to try for another child so my mom had the best chance at meeting her grandchild. I got to share my positive pregnancy test while visiting. It was such a happy moment in the midst of so much sadness. Adding to that stress was a difficult custody battle over my daughter. We couldn't have extra people at court to support me. My husband had to leave early to get the kids from school. Being left at the courthouse after testifying about how my ex abused me was one of the loneliest moments of my life. I had to take a Lyft ride back home and try not to break down in a stanger's car. My mother's condition got worse quickly. We were able to have a family reunion in June. I was nervous about so many people traveling in, but we needed to have mom see family again before something happened. My mom was admitted to the hospital at the beginning of July. I couldn't visit her because of being pregnant and the risk was too high to go to a hospital. My mom and dad supported this and wanted me to keep the baby safe. I had to record a goodbye message to play for her when she was awake. My mom passed on July 5th, 2021. Even at the funeral, I stayed in a separate room and had a friend read the eulogy remarks I prepared. I had my youngest daughter in February 2022. We were limited on visitors, so only my husband and dad came to the hospital. So many day cares closed in the pandemic, we had a very difficult time finding child care. Despite getting on the list in early pregnancy, we couldn't start at day care until September. We had to use social media to find part time nannies and alter our work hours to cover child care until she could start day care. She actually just tested positive for covid yesterday after another child at daycare was positive earlier in the week. Thankfully she's vaccinated. I've been through so much since the pandemic. I'm thankful for what I have, I crave rest. I'm worn out. I lost so much. No bridal shower. No honeymoon. No baby shower. No support for happy and sad moments. It's been really hard. -
2021-12-20
And a Happy New Year
My boyfriend and I had visited his parents over our Christmas Holiday from college. They had just recently gotten back from Hawaii, so they had travelled through several airports to get to and from Baton Rouge. Despite my boyfriend and I being vaccinated and wearing masks around his family, we came to find out that his mother had COVID (she is a staunch anti-vaxxer). Not one week after our visit, my boyfriend and I both tested positive. We spent Christmas and New Years holed up in our tiny apartment, feeling guilty that we had been to our respective works and to visit my relatives without knowing we were positive. His mother is still suffering from COVID complications, nearly eight months after originally having it. I'll never understand why people assume that public health and health education are a hoax. It could have saved everyone a lot of time and effort and suffering if the truth about vaccinations wasn't barraged by misinformation and public hysteria. -
2022-03-07
Sam Beeson Oral History, 2022/03/07
I spoke to Sam at the Arizona Historical Society's 2nd annual Covid Remembrance Event. Sam was with his son, Alex. Alex did not wish to be interviewed but he gave permission to have his health information included in the interview. He was present during the interview. Sam describes his family life during the initial lockdown, how he kept working at the hospital but his wife and son stayed home. Sam called himself the "hunter gatherer" during that time as he was the one getting groceries and running errands. He describes how he got the first dose of his vaccine but also got infected with COVID at the same time. His symptoms were mild, but his son and wife had different experience. Sam describes losing his wife to Covid. He also describes how he has dealt with his grief and anger by joining a support group and Marked By Covid group. He shares his story as a way to honor his wife. -
2022-03-07
Rose Oral History, 2022/03/08
At the Arizona Historical Society's 2nd annual Covid Memorial event, I spoke with Rose and recorded her story about losing her brother, John, to Covid. Rose describes the challenges she faced being far away from her brother as he was diagnosed and then ill. She currently has her brother's dog, Emma, and is trying to re-home her according to her brother's wishes. Rose describes how her last communication with her brother was a text for help. After the recording was turned off and we were walking out, she described how she felt when she was parked and walking to the hospital to say goodbye to her brother she saw anti-mask protestors at Central and Thomas Road. She was so sad and angry that these people were arguing against something that might save lives. She said that she couldn't argue with them and just wished them good health and walked away. -
2020-05-04
An Empty Street of Times Square
This photo was taken in Times Square during the early stages of the Covid-19 pandemic. As someone who lives near the always bustling square, it broke my heart to see it so depressing and empty. This pandemic has prompted the question of whether city life will be able to survive Covid-19. Seeing the city so lifeless made me realize how reliant on tourism New York City is. All of the iconic activities that New York is known for, going to restaurants, museums, broadway shows, all had been canceled. However, despite the difficulties, the city maintained a positive attitude, with motivational messages to frontline workers and medical professionals displayed throughout Times Square. -
2021-08-07
Food Is Not Always Comforting
This is a story of my family's experience with food and the pandemic. For us, it was a reflection of another difficult time in our lives. -
2021-07-07
Hosts break down after quarantined man’s mother passes away | Today Show Australia
This is a heartbreaking story from Australia about a man who flew around the world to try to get to his dying mother, only to have the Queensland government block his way. So many people across the globe had to die alone without their loved ones because of this pandemic. Hospitals and governments need to come up with a safe system to allow for visitation of dying relatives during pandemics because, sadly, this will likely happen again in the future. -
2021-07-16
And No You
My mom died of COVID-19 last July when her nursing home in Atlanta was overrun with the virus. Before that, she lived with me, my dog, and cat. The way she lived in the house made it truly a home for us. I am a workaholic, often using the house for a fast supper and some sleep before starting all over the next day, sprinting back to work. The poem is our way of telling her how much she is missed. -
2020-06-28
Distant Friendship
Through the start of the pandemic, in America, my state shut down by late March. I was fortunate enough to have been able to quarantine with my parents, after a fall my grandma joined us as well. The hard part was though to be totally honest not seeing my friend. My two best friends and I are super close and that period between March through June was the longest time since we became friends ten plus years ago, that we were apart. My birthday was during that time, which again was weird and sad not to have them as part of my actual day. I think sound was a sensory that I missed during the pandemic. Hearing my friends in person, was completely different than hearing them over Facetime, or Zoom. The laughter that normally flows, online was broken up by bad connections. -
2021-04-02
#JOTPYFuture entry from Meowlody
My bad ! Well , I'm hoping that this pandemic will stop getting worse and we'll be able to go back to our normal lives. It's quite sad that we can't meet people normally anymore. :(( -
2021-03-23
Where Are All the Kids?
Our school has never looked better - festive flags waving, campus clean and painted, welcoming balloon arches. We were ready to re-open. But then, no one came. The message we teachers had been whispering amongst ourselves for weeks, that kids and their families do not want to come back yet, had come to fruition. Out of my 172 students, only 31 will step foot on campus, the rest will continue to logon from home. That number, 31, is expected to continue to drop as more students revert to only Distance Learning. Knowing how few students were on campus, I was surprised to see our school social media posted first day pictures. I know it was supposed to be celebratory, but I couldn’t stop laughing at the insanity of a balloon arch welcoming no one. How could our social media exclaim that we were “so happy to see students roam the halls again” and then post pictures of a completely empty school? It looks like Chernobyl. At some point, I decided to take the images, a video of an empty classroom my friend took, and my attendance roster with almost all kids marked as “Distance Learning” and put them together in a video to try and capture the mixed emotions. I alternatively feel like crying and laughing when I watch it. I really think it captures the reopening, albeit in a slightly subversive way. Of course, I really hope my admin never sees it, because I’m guessing they will not see the tongue and cheek, ironic humor in this. -
2021-01-20T12:22:00
Too close to home
I was in class on a Wednesday and my phone kept going off like crazy.it was being so distracting so I just decided to check why it was going off and then turn it off for good. I picked up my phone and there were thousands of text messages saying "you need to get tested", "go get a test". At this point I was completely confused, so I asked them what was going on and they said that one of my friends had tested positive for Covid and that I need to get tested because I'm hanged out with them on that Monday. Once I read this I completely froze, I didn't know how to handle this information. I was scared for my life, and for hers, I wasn't sure if she'd be okay. If I was going to be okay. I wasn't paying attention to class at all and everything my teacher was saying was going completely over my head. School got out and all I could think about was how am I going to tell my parents that I came home possibly with Covid. The thought of just having to tell them the news and how they could possibly react to it scared the life out of me. I didn't think that I could tell them because I was afraid they would be too disappointed in me and to scared. I finally got the courage to tell my mom and she surprisingly took the news well. My parents weren't happy but they definitely weren't angry so that's good. They told me that I had to wash everything that I have touched in the past 2 days. I was so glad to tell my parents because holding that secret in was tearing me apart inside. I checked in with me friend everyday to make sure she was ok. It's scary to see it on the news and to hear it on the radio but once it hits too close to home, it can really change your entire life. -
2021-01-20
Native Nations Lose Elders, Maintain Hope
Scrolling through social media, I have been bombarded with innumerous posts that tell the now familiar tale of the passing of tribal elders due to COVID-19. Angry, sad…crushed – My entire being is blitzed with many emotions as I sit here reflecting on the recent news of the death of yet another elder from my own Nation, the Washoe Tribe of Nevada and California. Being made up of just over 1400 enrolled tribal members, the Washoe Tribe of Nevada and California, like many other Native Nations, has come upon a time of extreme crisis. It has been stated by many that losing a tribal elder is the equivalent of burning down a library. This analogy is sufficient for many Native Nations although when considering the current state of language and culture for “smaller” Nations, this does not suffice. Every Washoe tribal elder that is taken from this world prematurely could be equated to the burning down of an entire country as our language has been designated as an extinct language by linguistic anthropologists because of the low percentage of fluent speakers remaining. This catastrophe has called for champions, for warriors. Warriors are those who sacrifice for the greater good, for the betterment of the collective. Washoe warriors have once again become numerous. Women and men, younger and older have taken up our positions to defend what we have left. This mobilization is reflective of the wide variety of skills and experiences Washoe people maintain. A foundational principle in Washoe culture, yeyelu, demands that we stand together. Seeing many Washoe upholding our traditions of protection offers me hope. Scrolling has become a task, one wrought with trauma and heart ache but more importantly of hope. HOPE. In prayer, Patrick DéɁileligi Burtt (Red Burtt from Wa She Shu St) -
2020-12-22
Symptoms of Covid-19
My neighbor got Covid last month and he was tired and in bed for a couple of days. Also, he did not feel 100%. When he was not sick anymore he looked great and you could not tell he had Covid. I felt sad when my neighbor got Covid but I was sure he would recover fine. it taught me to be more cautious to not get the virus too. -
2021-01-21
My Experience with a Positive Covid Test
I personally haven't really been affected by Covid, but I have had a few friends who tested positive. It was kind of funny because the two friends that I would talk with every day and hang out with were the two to get it. One of my friends tested positive on Christmas Eve and the other tested positive a few days before Christmas. I didn't know for a while because of Christmas plans and holiday festivities, so it wasn't a huge deal, but we couldn't get together for new years' which was kind of sad. -
2020-06-26
Quarantine Adventures on Minecraft
Although my friends and I were relatively sad that we couldn't hang out with each other due to going in lockdown, it gave us the best excuse to start a world on Minecraft, and of course, build a McDonald's. There was a lot anxious thoughts, fears, and overall clinical depression. However, through it all, we fought together in unity to overcome not only the external struggles due to quarantine, but also our own internal struggles (that was very much poetic). This screenshot holds a lot of meaning to me because it truly shows how we all truly went through a lot this past year, and how we've been able to adapt to this new lifestyle. Nevertheless, this new way of life really hasn't been that horrendous, and in fact, I'm starting to prefer this type of schedule. At the same time though, I really wish that things could go back to normal, so that way, my friends and I's addiction to Minecraft could cease. -
2020-07-19
Sad Memes
This is a screenshot of Patrick crying and I felt like it symbolized how I and many other feel about Quarantine and the pandemic in general. At home 24/7 makes me feel depressed and I cry a lot. I also watch a lot of cartoons because there something that make me happy, which is why I chose this photo to include -
2021-01-20
Rules I have to follow
Here at oaks christian, they have made restrictions to the normal life I use to have at school. One rule that I have gotten used to is wearing a mask for the whole school day. We have to walk in on direction in the halls, which sometimes makes me late to my next class, or I get lectured by one of the traffic controllers. What makes me sad is thinking that for the rest of my life even when covid goes away, I will still see other people around me wearing a mask and being afraid. -
2021-01-14
Virtual Learning
Well, my school decided to teach virtually. I was quite saddened by this news. I was hoping we would be over with this virus, but apparently not. My routine is basically wake up in the morning, take care of my dog, eat breakfast, and go to school on my computer. I enjoy sleeping in a little more and not having to get ready for school, but there are lots of challenges along with virtual learning. I had a very difficult time learning online and it was difficult to do projects at home. I did not have all the supplies so I could not do some projects. Some classes were strenuous and I was exhausted at the end of the day. Also, some other benefits of online learning is not wearing a uniform and not waking up early for school. Overall, I enjoyed some things about virtual learning, but I also struggled with some parts too. I would rather want to go to school so I can make new friends, learn much more, and get to know my teachers. -
2020-01-11
What Christmas was like with Covid-19
My Christmas was pretty normal, to be honest. The main difference was I was not able the see my grandparents. That was very sad because I spend Christmas with them almost every year. I was able to talk to my whole family everywhere over zoom witch is something we have never done. That was fun to talk to some of my family that I don't talk to very often. But other than that my Christmas was pretty normal. -
2020-12-22
Christmas with Covid
The coronavirus or covid-19 is what I had to live with and continue to live with. During the Christmas season covid hit hard and it prevented me from seeing family and friends. It was quite devastating that I was unable to visit my grandmother because it may be one of my last Christmas's with her. By the time covid is solved we will have arteficial hearts. -
2020-09-07
Today's Daily Thought... Semester Journal
This journal entry was written as a part of the American Studies class at California High School in San Ramon, California. I cannot believe it is already almost fall. I was thinking about it yesterday and it makes me really sad. Quarantine took so much of our normal life away, and it all just went by too fast. When I really think about it, so much has happened and changed for me over these months and some of which I wish never ended or changed. All the good times I had feel like a blur and all the rough times went by so slow. I wish I remembered more. In a usual year, I would look forward to Labor Day so much. This year I didn’t get to do what I normally do. Labor day usually comes by so slow because I just cannot wait for it to happen but this year it passed me up. Lately that has been all I could think about. -
2020-12-16
Covid-19
My story is that we had to change our whole lives because of this. With online school, no toilet paper, masks, social distance, and so many more protocols. This year has been the craziest year in a while and I'm only thirteen. We had to quarantine ourselves away from others for so long that when I finally started seeing my friends again it was like I hadn't seen them in like 8 months. Through all these months the only people I was able to be around was my family. Don't even get me started on not being able to see my grandparents. Because they were at higher risk in never saw them like once for so long and I would normally talk with them all the time but I couldn't. -
1999-05-11
Aesop Carl
This picture was one of the drawings I made during the pandemic. People grow and change from disasters, and so does the boy in the picture. He was an innocent child until his only family member-- his father was killed in front of him. -
2020-12-14
My 2020 Thanksgiving
This Thanksgiving of the year 2020, was different among all of my Thanksgivings in many ways. My family and I did not have our usually gathering this year. My grandparents were not able to due to COVID-19 the global pandemic, we did not want to put them at any risk. It also did not really feel like Thanksgiving at all, since we were not in school in person, I still cannot believe we have been doing school online since March! Wow how time has flied by. This year it was really hard for me to get into the fall spirit, yes I carved pumpkins, made pumpkin pie, and drank many iced pumpkin spiced lattes from Starbucks, nothing made it feel like Thanksgiving. Growing up I have always craved that feeling of leaving school, walking out those doors, knowing your not going to go back for a week. Oh how amazing that feels. But this year, that never happened. All I had to do to leave school was close my laptop, that's it. I was already at home, nothing had changed. Even though we did not to anything jurastically different it still did not feel like Thanksgiving, not even one bit. I never ever in a million years thought I would say this, but, I miss school, I want to go back so bad. I can not wait, I can not wait. To whoever is reading this probably years from now, please never take anything for granted, not even toilet paper. Yeah, toilet paper, it was impossible to find it anywhere, and even if you did, it was really bad, like worse than public restroom bad. Well, anyways Thanksgiving 2020 was a total bust and I can not wait for the day to come when everything goes back to normal, no more limits on how many people can enter a store at a time, no more temperature checks, getting to eat inside at restaurants! Never thought that would be something I would not be able to do, and the thing I know we all want most, is no more face masks. Yes, we have to wear face masks these little peices of paper that we wear on our face that cover our nose and mouth to help us maybe not get the virus. Half of my 8th grade year is gone already, and oh boy, I can't wait to go back to normal, I just really can't wait. -
2020-12-13
Positive Affirmations for Mental Health (especially in a pandemic!)
This is a journal entry consisting of positive affirmations and gratitude practice. Just like everyone, I have been dealing with many mental health issues during this pandemic and have had days where I wanted to do nothing but disappear into some alternate universe and be rid of all my problems. I spent a lot of time on the app, Tik Tok and stumbled upon many videos about manifestations, affirmations and spirituality in general. Though affirmations have been a thing for quite some time, some of the videos dove in deeper by talking about the law of attraction. I was a bit skeptical at first but I looked up some success stories and felt intrigued. I decided to give affirmations and gratitude a go as a way to not only brighten my mood, but to help me appreciate life more in general and bring more positive vibes into it. I’m not saying that doing this solves all your issues, but it has definitely worked wonders for me, especially during these darker days of the world. I advise anyone to give this a try because I truly think just about anyone would notice a difference by making affirmations and gratitude a daily habit. Whether one wishes to try specific manifestation techniques to dive deeper into these practices is subjective based on how much they believe in spirituality, but basic affirmations and gratitude alone can make a big difference. -
2020-12-03
Stormy Hearts
During this pandemic, everyone is clearly going through a difficult time. However, I think that mental health fluctuations have been especially common during this time. Sometimes we’re feeling productive and like we can accomplish anything, other days just getting out of bed takes everything in us. Different people are going to be on different levels of vibration, including friends. One friend may be feeling themselves while the other may struggle to even look at themselves in the mirror. The representation of this drawing is that even though one person may feel happy and one person may feel deep sadness, they can still be there for each other and walk through the storm together to help each other grow. Even though it doesn’t show it, this also applies to the Black Lives Matter Protests and overall racial problems. It is an issue we can help each other out with by taking the time to emphasize with people who don’t experience the same things as us. -
2020-12-10
Numbskull
“Coronavirus has taken an extreme toll on my mental health and many others. This image symbolizes the emptiness in my skull. Feeling as though there is no brain at all. Mushrooms growing on the empty decomposed bits of what’s left of the brain. The majority of others, especially students right now, have little to no energy left in them. Unable to keep up with assignments and the feeling of overall helplessness. This does seem dark and scary but that is the whole point. No one is okay right now.” -Julianna Sheridan when being asked to explain why her drawing represents her mental state during the pandemic. -
2020-12-14T14:22
The Beginning of COVID-19
I honestly can't remember a time without the virus. A time when things felt normal or ordinary. Life before the pandemic, it wasn't perfect, not even close, but I didn't ever feel like I was being strangled, gasping for air. The month of February, only 10 months ago, but feels more like a lifetime since then. I was a 7th grader then, thinking about things like schoolwork and friends and soccer; normal things. I remember I was so happy, so happy that I had such amazing friends, and such a normal life. But, I wanted school to end. I mean, what 13 year old doesn't? Now, I realize how much that wish has effected my life. The day I found out about COVID was a day like any other; I was at school that day, you know, normal things. After school, I checked TikTok and saw all these random videos about some virus that had popped up. At first, I thought nothing of it. When the district announced that school was shutting down, I was told it would only be 2 weeks; just 2 weeks! I thought it would be like a short break from the day-to-day school life, so if anything, I was happy. As the weeks went by, though, I started to panic. What was this coronavirus and why was it ruining my life? I thought eventually it would end, but then we got the alert we were out for the rest of the school year, then the alert that COVID cases were rising once again, then we got the alert that there was no chance of us going back to school in the Fall, and during all of this, as you can imagine, I was going crazy, wondering if life would ever go back to normal. Life right now is bizarre, but we just have to keep pushing because nothing lasts forever. When I think back to February, oh so long ago, I realize how much has happened throughout this pandemic; the rallies, BLM, the election, and above all, change. I have changed as a person, everyone has. Now if that change is good or bad is questionable, but whatever the case, we need to embrace it because we can't change reality; all we can do is hope for the best and keep pushing on. -
2020-12-10
covid 19
During my thanksgiving, I couldn't see any of my outside family which sucked. But I got toes thereafter but I had to wear a mask. I don't have any pictures but an example would be like a simple trip to target is so hard because of prices being raised and having to wear a mask -
2020-11-26
Less family
Usually for thanksgiving my aunt, uncle, cousins, and grandma come to our house. My grandma has lived by my house since I was born until about 4 years ago, when she moved back to Israel. She is an essential part of our thanksgiving, she helps out with the cooking a lot and is an important family member. This year, she was not able to come because COVID could not let her get a flight to our city. It was very sad because we would miss her and we had to do a lot more cooking, which was stressful. However, I know it is for good because we are keeping eachother safe. -
2020-10-06
Fear, Fiction, and Facebook
(HIST30060) Content warning: suicide mention. As the pandemic has developed over the course of the year and Victoria has progressed through lockdowns, a Facebook friend of mine from high school has taken to discussing COVID-19 extensively. She posts very regularly (on average between 20 and 30 times per day) with commentary on the pandemic, ranging from sanctimonious to outraged, sharing posts from conspiracy groups, pandemic-denying politicians, and other Facebook users that downplay the existence or severity of the virus. The series of unsubstantiated claims and recurrent mentions of ‘breaking news’ from various unnamed rogue health workers results in some of her Facebook friends querying her content and questioning the validity of her sources. When they reply to her posts, her Facebook friends often attempt to share news articles and updates from verified, fact-checked sources, but when this happens she talks past them, avoids the question, engages in a range of logical fallacies, or outright denies the validity of the information with which she’s been presented. In particular, she received significant backlash from her friends when she shared a post about the Australian suicide rate in 2020, crediting an alleged (untrue) increase directly to the lockdowns: one friend responded to say ‘I’m swiftly losing respect for you and the misinformation you keep posting.’ Earlier in the year, her posts gained greater traction among her Facebook friends: people would react to them, comment with information, speculation, or gentle disagreement; by now (November), the engagement her posts receive has dwindled down to the occasional like, but usually nothing more than that. Seeing her posts when I checked Facebook began to remind me of a conversation I’d had with my housemate about the role of fear and a desire for control behind belief in conspiracy theories; namely that these belief systems might bring warped comfort on some level. In situations that are scary, believing in some nameless, faceless ‘them’, or connecting with other people who claim to have secret insider information hidden from the general public, might help ease a feeling of powerlessness by believing someone is in control. I would allege her Facebook posts stem at least in part from fear, which I feel is more than understandable given an underlying experience for many people this year has been a deep, semi-constant sense of paralytic uncertainty. While I empathise with this, and genuinely feel compassion towards her for what she’s going through, I can’t help but think the way she has responded to these feelings is irresponsible at best, and dangerous at worst. I find her advocacy of the importance of independent research and critical thinking approaches irony, as the ‘research’ she describes appears to consist of discussing factually incorrect information with other scared people who are also searching for stability and predictability. I don’t begrudge her the fear she feels in any capacity, nor do I want to pass judgement on how others cope with this experience, but I can’t help feeling that this does more harm than good; I worry it proliferates false information, and further demoralises those who read it. While individual conjecture, ideas, philosophising, and critical thinking are absolutely necessary and a healthy degree of scepticism is vital when reading anything, I believe there is a degree of responsibility one assumes to check, even cursorily, that the content they’re sharing has some basis in fact, especially in instances like this where people are quite literally dying. While the experience of the pandemic is undoubtedly having a severe effect on her, I feel irritated reading her advocacy of things that will objectively place other people at risk of illness. It seems to me insensitive to spread deliberately divisive misinformation, given there are people who are assume risk every day when they go to work (even in a country that has implemented measures to control the spread of the disease, when many countries overseas have not). I worry about the broader social repercussions of the division and polarisation that misinformation contributes to, both in the case of COVID-19 and in other contexts. When I look over the things she’s been posting on Facebook, I feel overwhelming pity and compassion for what she is going through individually, and what everyone in Victoria is undergoing as a collective. I understand that everyone is coping with an extremely stressful and emotionally taxing experience and is attempting to manage as well as they can. I’ve seen parallels drawn between the COVID-19 pandemic and previous pandemic disease outbreaks and major historical events in general, and the comfort people derive from a sense of shared experience during difficulty. I think in part the pandemic has cemented in my mind the confronting fact that being alive is just living through a series of major historical events; that history is not something that has happened to other people, in other places, at other times, but is happening now and will continue to happen, over and over. While this is incredibly confronting to think about and dredges up an overwhelming feeling of powerlessness at times, it seems to me by looking at both the past and the present that people working to mutually support each other make upheaval, fear, and uncertainty much easier to bear. -
2020-08-15
Jess with Covid
It shows that COVID is real and that it is serious. My roommate was infected with the virus and she got really sick. In the picture she was on the bathroom floor and this is because she was very nauseous and if she wasn't in the bathroom, the whole apartment would've been a mess. We checked up on her constantly to ensure she was okay and we would cook for her. She had to quarantine in her room for 2 weeks since she moved in before us so we didn't have to quarantine as long as her but it was still not a fun time. She is seen smiling in the picture but that is just because we tried to lift up her spirits so she wasn't miserable the entire illness. -
2020-10-28
How social justice is affecting POC
I interviewed my friend who has been affected by social justice issues that have been occurring in this country. He informed me how he has not been able to receive jobs he was overqualified for because of the color of his skin, how he has to fear driving by a police officer because of the color of his skin, and how he overall is not treated equally. He fully supports the movements going on in the country today and hopes for a better day. -
2020-10-27
Home is Not a Place, But a Feeling
In San Ramon, I feel lonely. I don’t feel like here is where my home is. Whenever I go to San Diego or am with my sister I feel happy again and at home. I feel safe with her. I feel free driving down a winding road with the windows down, music blasting, and wind harshly hitting my face and blowing my hair in every direction. I like getting to eat good, homemade meals at her house. It’s my escape from the “real world’ or the days in San Ramon that repeat themselves endlessly. I remember going to the beach and feeling the sand in my hands as I usually nervously play with it when there isn’t any conversation. I hear my sister’s friends making a hut and blasting their speakers. I remember walking further to be alone and sitting right before the shore. I listen to my own music in my earbuds and feel the tears start streaming down my face. My sister comes over to find me and laughs, not at me but because she doesn’t understand why I’m crying and knows I shouldn’t be sad at least not now. I begin to laugh too because I’m only crying since I wish I could live there too. This memory is important to me because it was such a fun trip and I feel most comfortable in San Diego or just when I’m with her. She understands completely how I always feel and validates why I act certain ways. In the dark days of Covid and having the same conversations over and over in San Ramon, San Diego is where I go to break that cycle and stay sane to be honest. It’s my motivation to keep trying and to stay calm since I know no matter what I get to go down and see her again and again. -
2020-10-27
Senses Throughout the Covid Experience
I remember the intercom on March 13th telling the students “School will be out for two weeks due to the Coronavirus.” At first, this was awesome, we got time off school with no homework!! But then the break never stopped and school never resumed to what it used to be. Being quarantined went from days, to weeks, to months, and hasn’t stopped yet. We barely finished the school year online and thought we would go back at the start of next year. Oh were we wrong! All we see is the computer screen! We were quarantined for another 3 months and proceeded to do the first semester of the 2020-2021 school year online. Hopefully we get to go back to school next semester. We will be able to talk to one another and get out of the boring home. This virus has blocked us from our homecoming, football season, sports, hanging out with friends, celebrating holidays, socializing at school, and seeing family. Instead, we are on the computer for 5-6 hours a day either in zoom meetings or doing homework. We now can’t touch everything, talk to who we used to, and taste all of the diverse foods we would go out and have. It isn’t healthy! We need to go back to school next semester even if it is hybrid. This pandemic has taken a toll on everyone and we need to get through this together. -
2020-05-05
Quarantine ferrets
For the longest time, I had been wanting ferrets. I had talked about them all the time, not only at home to my mom but also to my friends at school as well. My mom finally gave in and we had planned to drive out to a place for me to adopt two ferrets. But when COVID struck, my mom pushed it off and said we'd have to wait. Eventually, I found someone selling their ferret on craigslist. He was the cutest thing and I named him Bean. I loved him more than anything and would spend all my free time either playing with him or napping with him. I knew I needed to get him a friend since they are very social animals. So I did just that about a month and a half later my dad and I went to get Bean a friend. We got a little shy fella, and I named him Turtle, soon enough he opened up and was very playful and frisky. They kept me busy during quarantine and made my life a whole lot more fun. But then three months after I got Bean I noticed his energy decreasing. He wasn’t playing that much and was sleeping more than normal. He seemed very weak and even when he seemed like he wanted to play he couldn’t. I was very worried about him and knew something was wrong. We took him to the vet and found out he had leukemia. This was heartbreaking because I assumed we had years together. But he was getting weaker by the hour as his bone marrow stopped creating red blood cells. This was the most heartbreaking day of my life as my first real pet, my first baby, was dying. Turtle and I went to say goodbye. And even though everything seemed to be going downhill, when one door closed another one opened. The vet said he had a ferret that he didn’t have time for and who he was looking to re-home. Even though another ferret could never take the place of Bean but I knew Turtle would need a friend as a few days later I could already tell he was getting lonely and with school approaching I wouldn’t have as much time to be his playmate. A week after Bean was put down we took in the ferret, I renamed him Astro. These ferrets have done much more than keep me busy during quarantine, they have kept me sane. Bean: March 27th-June 27th, 2020 Turtle: May 5th, 2020 Astro: July 2nd, 2020 -
2020-06-09
Finding Opportunity in Midst of Tragedy
When I left San Francisco in March (due to USF closing), I knew I was coming back for the summer. I thought maybe I would find a nice research position at the school once things calmed down. However as CO-19 progressed I quickly realized that my goal of getting a research job was nearly impossible as almost every position had a hiring freeze. I returned to San Francisco on the last day of May to move into my apartment and begin a tedious job hunt. I applied to around 20 jobs at UCSF, the only place I could see hiring for in-person research. Unfortunately I never heard back. Saddened by the lack of job offers I quickly became consumed by self-doubt. How will I ever get into medical school if even entry level research doesn't want me? How will I set myself apart? Over the next week I decided to broaden my job search to not just research but different healthcare positions. Even positions I wasn't qualified for, but willing to learn. At that point I had applied to twenty-five more jobs and almost immediately started hearing back...from ALL of them. This past summer I held three jobs. One as a dental surgery assistant, one as a clinic and research intern at the Stone Research Foundation, and one as a receptionist at an orthodontic practice. These positions I could have never have gotten under normal circumstances. With a combined total of almost 60 hours a week dedicated to work I can say I have learned so much and am proud to be a part of the health care field. While this summer was one of the most difficult, it lit a fire under my butt. It taught me that there is always another way to get where you want to be in life as long as you don't give up and keep trying. -
2020-08-21
The Loneliness I Feel
During this pandemic, I have felt loneliness, I have felt very very lonely. I have felt confusion, fear, and loneliness. When I was stuck inside my house during quarantine, I thought that it would all go away, that everything would be back to normal and that it would be ok. But no, instead this pandemic has prevented me from seeing my friends and has prevented me from seeing my grandparents who live right down the street who I see every day. This virus has definitely taken a toll on me mentally and personally. My mental health during this pandemic has been like a roller coaster, it has been out of control and it has caused me to just wanna see one of my friends and just hug them, but because of social-distancing and since the virus can literally kill anyone, I couldn’t. I love hugs, but for the past 5 months, I couldn’t. I can't feel the amazing feeling of embracing another person, the warm hugs are just one of the ways that make me feel a lot better when I'm sad, or happy, or simply just having a hard time. Now I’m in college, taking half of my classes online, and wondering if there would possibly be an outbreak at my university. The thought of something like that happening scares me but doesn't surprise me either. Me not being able to sit next to someone, or hug someone, or hang out with someone, or swing on a swing with someone, is just the main reason why I have felt severe loneliness during this pandemic. -
2020-06-17
Sophie
This image is of a shadow box in memoriam to my cat Sophie. Her health started declining in the beginning of the pandemic. My family had to call multiple vets just to get an appointment due to short staffing and were not allowed in the room with her in order to tell the vet things. When she had to be put down the news was told to us over the phone and we had to say our final goodbyes on a porch in front of other people. To me, this image represents my loss in the time of coronavirus. -
2020-08-17
Missed Opportunties
2020 was supposed to be a year of exciting events for my family. My brother and I did not get to experience what formal graduation would feel like. A milestone in our lives will forever be missed. My sweet and loving grandfather said to me “I am trying to stay alive to watch you walk across that stage”, did not get to witness his youngest son’s kids graduate high school. On top of that, my parents were broken because they did not get to see their only son and daughter walk the stage. When I say COVID-19 has really impacted my family emotionally, it really did. An opportunity to say to my family that I am so thankful for them for being super supportive and being able to hear them cheer for me as I walk the stage will forever be missed. I remember the moment I received the email that I had gotten accepted into Suffolk. I had just got out of work and in the car on the way home I showed my dad the email and he was jumping with excitement. Due to the pandemic, my parents and I were not given the opportunity to attend a face to face orientation for Suffolk and not having the opportunity to tour Suffolk to be able to get to know my way around the school was really misfortunate. Hopefully, as time goes on and when there is no more COVID-19, we will get a chance to get to know home for the next 4 years. -
2020-07-27
Journal Entry - July 27, 2020
This is a journal entry on how I'm feeling about having to return to the office full time. -
07/25/2020
Anonymous Oral History, 2020/07/25
Shanna Gagnon conducts an interview with Anonymous. Anonymous is a 5 year old boy that lives in Northern California. He explains his initial reaction to COVID-19. Anonymous discusses how the pandemic has impacted his daily life, including who he can and cannot play with. He describes what people are acting like in his neighborhood. Anonymous details a recent family trip to the beach. He shares what he believes worries people most. And talks about why it is important for his family to stay extra safe during the COVID-19 pandemic. Anonymous imagines what life will be like a year from today and includes a possible new reality for what playground time will look like when he returns to school. His responses also cover how businesses are responding to COVID and his family’s consumer behaviors during the pandemic. -
2020-06-21
A Seven-Year-Old Reacts to Coronavirus in a Drawing
I asked my friend, Jennifer Aspen, to send me something for this archive. She sent this drawing that her little girl did. She explained how her daughter captured their situation well: The girl is wearing a face mask, is crying, and surrounded by the virus. -
2020-06-14
Dogs in Quarantine
Although its mostly been humans that are being affected by the quarantine and coronavirus, our pets are also feeling the struggle. Parks both human and dog alike have been closed to enforce social distancing guidelines, leading to some sad dogs. Here's hoping that as summer starts a little bit more time outside is in store for everyone.