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  2020-04-24

  Utilizing the Pandemic

  I have a feeling that my journey through the Plague Years has been rather different than most other people. Even with the Pandemic raging, I would genuinely consider the past two years some of the best of my life. Though there were certain adjustments that had to be made surrounding the uncertainty of the disease early on, my life was largely unaffected. I was living at home and taking online classes at a community college so those continued after only a slight break. I worked part-time at a pet food store and because pet food was considered “essential” for people, I was allowed to continue working uninterrupted. My dad started working from home and my siblings high school went to a part-time schedule. During the day we started a plethora of new tv shows and almost every night we were able to have dinner as a family and play board games. The best part, after some debate, larger universities began moving to online classes and closing campuses. This meant that my friends who were away at school would be coming home. Once we knew the signs, symptoms, and the relatively small danger presented to younger people we were able to hang out and have socially distanced fun. As an introvert, friends, family, school, and work were all I really needed to be happy, and the loss of large-scale social functions was of no importance to me. In fact, I was able to utilize the lack of interaction during the Pandemic as a cover for experimentation. On April 24, 2020, after hearing my dad ask me to get a haircut for the third time, I decided to take matters into my own hands and gave myself a buzzcut. There were four thoughts ringing in my mind as the razor vibrated in my hand. 1. I need a haircut 2. No place was open that was close 3. I have had the same hairstyle since high school. 4. And most importantly, not many people would have to see it. I was pleasantly surprised at how easy it was and how it looked. Since that time, I have been much more adventurous with my hair styling and even with what I wear. The Pandemic helped me realize that life is too short to not try something new just for the sake of it. And though I did get clowned by my friends on occasion, that didn’t stop me from doing it again 11 months later… The pictures included are the sink full of my hair and hanging out with friends rocking the buzzcut. Overall, I know how lucky I was to remain relatively unscathed throughout the Pandemic. My paychecks never stopped, my classes resumed shortly, and my relationships with friends and family blossomed. The only real loss experienced was my hair, and for that, I am more than grateful.
• 2020

  Quarentine and Self-Reflection: A Time To Work On Oneself

  When the pandemic started, I was told that we were staying home for two weeks. My first thought was “Sweet. An extended spring break.” I thought I would have to come back to school after those few days and continue on with my life as it always has been. I was wrong. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and before I knew it, I had lost an entire year of my life. I had no human contact outside of my family that entire time. I was kept in my room all day, everyday. After a while of online school and nothing else going on, I think that's when something had snapped inside of me. I experienced self reflection. With all of that time and no one but me, I just looked at myself, looked back into everything I have done and pondered on what I wanted to do with myself. I was already aware of how insignificant I was and how little I have done in life but I did not really understand just how little until I had that time to myself. I already had a list of things I wanted to change about myself and things I wanted to do so I think that is when I began working to be better. I spent a lot of time alone practicing how to act more patient and be friendlier. I practiced baking, I took care of babies a lot, I appreciated the little things I always have since I was young like a video game I play called Minecraft, I began documenting and recording everything I did, I studied foreign language, etc. Soon I started to make changes to myself. When I got mad, I would think of my nephew or I would imagine I am watching the kids and remember that I have to be patient with them. I practiced self love so when I got major depression episodes or anxiety attacks, I was able to comfort myself easier and walk myself through my struggles. I also cut back on the food I ate and the types of food I ate. I lost about 10 pounds in one week and I was super proud of myself especially since I was working out like every day. I was in really good shape and proud of myself for that. I had better stamina and my clothes fit better and I was getting a lot of foreign language practice in and I finished learning how to read and write korean as well as some simple vocabulary and sentence structure. I improved on writing since I wrote a lot more and helped develop my techniques and practiced some drawing. I spent a lot of that time sitting alone in my room and adjusting to that silence. I've improved as a listener and began to crave silence all the time. My life has not been peaceful in the least bit but I have been able to find peace within myself which has really helped in the long run so far. Having improved on myself and re-exploring hobbies and interests of mine, I was reintroduced to the loud and crowded public abruptly to which I responded with an anxiety attack but then I got more comfortable. I was super shy at first but now I feel generally happier all the time and I believe that has helped people around me relax and enjoy my presence more. I am glad I seem less threatening or mean because that is all I have been called my entire life. I am still weird and awkward and I am not anyone’s first option but I am glad I am not the last option now. My goal now is to enlist as soon as I can and go into community college. Once highschool ends for me then I will begin my life and I am super stoked about that. I have a few ideas of what I can do after highschool so I am just waiting it out now. At least this much good came out of quarantine.
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  2020-04-02

  The Positive Side to COVID-19

  Reaching out to social media to find the positive side of the pandemic.