Items

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  2020-04-23

  A Succulent Story

  This is a succulent that I received as a gift during September of 2019. I didn’t pay that much attention to it, though, because I was always busy with school, sports, and work. Then, when school shut down, I started taking better care of it, and it grew this interesting little sprout with yellow flowers on it. I took this picture to send to my grandpa, who loves plants, and asked him what it was. I think this succulent really illustrates life for me personally during the pandemic. Before the pandemic, I filled every single day up with activities from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to bed. And that was ok, I did well with that schedule, and I was able to grow in that environment. This succulent received little care and attention from me, and was still able to grow in that environment. Then, the pandemic came. It was an adjustment to not have to do anything, with the exception of online school. It was definitely not a schedule I was used to. But with time, I found the positive in spending time alone and doing things that I didn’t normally have time to do. I was still growing, but in a different way than what I was used to. I had to learn to spend time alone, and to occupy myself without school or work or sports. This succulent received more attention from me after the pandemic, and was able to grow with this new environment, but it resulted in a different kind of growth. Plus, it allowed me to have an opportunity to talk to my grandpa. We weren’t allowed to see them during quarantine, and I knew he would appreciate talking about something that he loved so sending him this picture allowed me to still keep in touch with him and talk about something that we both enjoyed.
• 2021-01-13

  Finding the Joy in the Little Things

  At the start of the pandemic, I was in an anxiety spiral. I was worried about everything from the health of family and friends to the possibility of nuclear warfare, and it resulted in some fairly agoraphobic, unhealthy coping mechanisms. I had recently moved to a new state, so I didn't even know the way around my neighborhood. I would stay in my room for days at a time, only socializing with the villagers on my Animal Crossing island. I was afraid to leave my house, afraid to grocery shop, afraid to pass someone too closely on the sidewalk. After several months of this behavior, and countless episodes of reality television, I recognized that I needed help. I began the process with a simple google search. "Online therapy options." After some trial and error, I found a therapist that helped me break out of my depressive, anxious cycle, in a way that was both gradual and socially distant. Through my work with her and some self-reflection, I found several things that help me cope with the current reality, allowing me to enjoy small joys throughout the day, and here they are: 1) Trails! I was a hiker in college, but fell out of the habit after graduating due to moving around a bit. Since I had moved during the winter, I hadn't had a chance to explore any trails near my new home. With some recommendations from both my therapist and the internet, I slowly began to venture into the outdoors. I started with a trail that was a 10-minute walk from my house, and eventually worked my way up to a state park about an hour away. It allowed me to feel comfortable leaving the house again in a way that was still Covid-friendly, and I gained a better awareness and appreciation of my surroundings. As an added bonus, I was able to experience Ohio autumn in all it's red-yellow-orange beauty. After a hot, humid, sad summer, some beautiful fall colors along some incredible trails were a perfect way to reset. 2) Books. I read more during the first few months of the pandemic than I had in the past several years combined. I was able to tackle books that had seemed too long and daunting in the past, as there was little to keep me from them, and it provided a sense of much-needed escapism. I rekindled my love of reading, worked through some of my "to-be-read" list, and incorporated reading into my daily routine, giving me something to look forward to and work towards during a time that felt stagnant. 3) Podcasts. I've been a regular listener of podcasts for years. I have the weekly release schedule of my favorite podcasts memorized, and at this point I turn to those for car rides before music. But, similar to books, I had put off some of the podcasts that require more attentive, prolonged listening; these were often podcasts that told a story over many episodes, both fictional and non-fictional. With stay-at-home orders in place, it seemed that all I had was time, and one can only spend so much time listening to the news, so I turned to podcasts. I listened to them when cleaning, when walking on the trails, when cooking, and even when I was just laying around. According to my Spotify Wrapped from 2020, I spent much more time listening to podcasts than music, and I enjoyed every minute of it. 4) Succulents. I have my mom to thank for this one! I had collected a large variety of succulents over the past few years, but had to leave them behind with my sister when moving at the beginning of 2020. With plant-shopping being extremely non-essential, I hadn't had the chance to start a new collection prior to isolation, and I had just accepted that I was no longer the plant-parent I once was. My mother, being the incredible woman that she is, decided that was unacceptable, and signed me up for a monthly succulent subscription for my birthday, in which I receive two baby succulents a month. So far I have eight little succulents, and they are thriving! 5) Cold brew. As an extreme coffee lover and addict, and as a barista, I couldn't make a list of my favorite things without including some form of caffeine. My favorite place in the world is a comfy coffee shop, but that obviously is not the safest setting to relax at the moment. I used this time at home to perfect my cold brew recipe, as well as play with all the different ways to enjoy coffee at home. While I still miss the atmosphere of a cafe, and will be back as soon as it's safe and smart to do so, I have had fun crafting new drinks at home. While I have had a variety of small enjoyments here and there throughout the last nine or ten months, these are truly the things bringing me joy and peace in this lonely, frightening time. Even when this pandemic is officially over, I plan to continue these practices, as they have become essential to my daily routines.
• 
  2020-12-01

  Growth in Quarantine

  The week before the national quarantine guidelines were announced, I was on a choir trip to the Southern Division ACDA competition in Alabama. This trip was the beginning of my final high school plans, the beginning of the end. I was expecting to come home and tell my friends all about it, to plan for my next choir trip to New York City in a few short weeks, to soak up my last moments of high school, and, of course, to finally walk across the stage and graduate. It is kind of ironic that I was dreading the spotlight on me when I was handed my diploma and doing the awkward tassel flip, but now I wish I could have anything close to that experience. When I left that day for Alabama, I did not expect to never see a majority of those people from school ever again. The feelings of hopelessness and of worthlessness were shared among many globally, including myself, leaving me in a state of prolonged stagnance. Immediately after I got off the bus home from Alabama, I was sent on a train to my dad’s new house in rural upstate New York. I did not get to go home and get my things or say hi to my family. The next few months of my life consisted of my duffel bag packed for one week, random Amazon orders, and an endless forest. At first, I still had school to keep me occupied and feel normal, but eventually, that ended and I had nothing to fill up the days. My dad was barely home, as he had just started a new job, and there was no other human within several miles, not that I could talk to them anyway, but the thought would have been nice. I was completely isolated. I tried painting, baking, video games, and dying my hair, but nothing filled the emptiness I was feeling. I felt extremely unproductive, like I was just wasting away where no one could find me. Eventually, I decided to take advantage of the nothingness surrounding me. I ventured into the woods and saw a whole world that kept continuing amidst the pandemic. I was reminded that life kept going, and while it seemed like mine was completely frozen, that it would start up again one day. I started spending more and more time in the woods, watching saplings develop, the fawns growing older, and the stream carve its way through the rough earth. In order to keep a piece of that life closer to home, I created biospheres in glass jars so that I could feel the hope for life when I didn’t want to go outside. Through those months, I did a lot of reflection on the pandemic and what it meant for myself and others. I realized that my life will continue, I will continue to live one day, but some people will not if we are not in isolation, so suddenly all the pain of the things I missed was worth it. Eventually, I had to leave New York and come to Washington. I moved into my mom’s two bedroom apartment shared by her boyfriend and my little brother a few months prior to school starting. I began to experience those same things I did when in New York at first, but the difference was that here, I did not have a vast forest to walk into. I had approximately 1,200 square feet and a shared bedroom with a five year old boy to wander around. I had to learn to cope all over again. I turned to one of my favorite things, even before the pandemic: plants. A simple succulent now carried so much more weight than before, reminding me of life, similar to the forest in New York. I have since expanded my plant collection in my dorm room, reminding myself everyday that even when it doesn’t feel like it, I am continuing to grow and one day life will be back to normal. Once the pandemic ends, I will continue to care for and expand my collection of plants. I think that one day it will be cool to show people my “pandemic plants.” It will be a symbol of my growth through quarantine, a symbol that I made it. I never thought that something so simple would make such a big difference in my life. Everyone lost something during this time, but I believe everyone gained something too, and I gained some very valuable life lessons and insight. While the pandemic is still blazing forward and so many things are changing, I will try my best to stay inspired by life and inspire those around me as well.