Items
Subject is exactly
Emotion
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2020-03-20
The Start of a Shutdown
The date was March 20th, 2020. It was my best friend's birthday. Our friend group was preparing to throw a big party for her with lots of guests and food. We were all so excited for her to turn 18, finally able to vote. We were all also happy to be seniors and were looking forward to graduation and prom. March 20th will be forever cemented in my mind as the day it all went wrong. We found out that "Covid-19" was truly something very serious and our classes became virtual, no more seeing our friends in school. We couldn't have an in person birthday party for our friend, we couldn't hang out either. That day was so pivotal in all of our lives. We didn't know we would be stuck in quarantine for the next six months, we didn't know our graduation and prom would be canceled. We didn't know how much our daily lives would change. Sometimes, I wish I could go back to the pre-covid days. Everything seemed so simple then. No major pandemic, no masks, no overfull hospitals. But at the same time, as I reflect, quarantine has changed who I am as a person and has caused a lot of internal reflection and introspection. I feel like having to only see your family for six months makes you a better problem solver because you have to stay in the house and figure the issues out instead of going out and trying to brush it off. Overall, Covid is horrible and has caused so much loss. However, we need to also see the somehow positives that have come from this awful situation. -
2021-07-18
Vaccination #2
Relief!!! That is the feeling I had when I drove away from the injection station after receiving my 2nd Covid shot. I just hoped that there would be no side effects since those who had gone before I had complained of side effects from the 2nd vaccination. I was lucky in that the next day after receiving the shot I only had a headache, stiff muscles and a queezy stomach - nothing that knocked me down and out. I just functioned at a slower pace. My entire household has been vaccinated and although exposure and contraction of a variant form of Covid is still a risk factor for everyone, at least I do not have to worry about the devastating effects of the illness for myself or family. -
2020-04-20
During the War... or A Gift of Time
When the going gets tough, the tough get going... I think I understand the meaning of hunkering down and getting to work now. I have always loved creating and now more than ever am embracing its healing powers. During these last six weeks I feel like we have been dodging bullets. We have become hunter gatherers looking for supplies to combat the germs. We are obsessed with stocking our little fort with enough of everything (art supplies), to survive the war. Through it all, my husband and I have also been obsessed with creating. Me in my home studio, learning how to collage, make books, creating paintings, greeting cards and finding new techniques to immerse (distract) my self. My husband in his shop behind our house making cigar box guitars! I read a quote from J.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring, that sums up, like most things, will be our attitudes that will help us accept this interruption of life..... ”I wish it had not happened in my time”. said Frodo. ”So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what we will do with the time that is given to us.” Since the start of the pandemic I have created over 65 paintings. I need to create in order to find sanity and feel productive and not scared and anxious. The photograph is a painting I created using Rohrshadk blots as inspiration. -
2020-03-15
Remorseful Disaster
This story is an ongoing experience for me as my family and I try our best to continue bearing with the lockdown. I wanted to share how things are at home because not every family is taking this situation with the same positivity. -
2020-11-15
New York, Bilbao, New York
In November 2020 I began reading Kirmen Uribe's novel Bilbao New York Bilbao while in Bilbao, Spain with my partner. We were there to care for his father who is suffering through the late stages of dementia and to spend time with his family who he had not seen in a year. Uribe's novel is important to my plague year for many reasons. He talks about the split mind being from Bilbao yet living in New York. My partner is from Bilbao, and the novel helps me understand his mindset. But Uribe also talks about the ways humans remember and carry pain and mark loss. Unlike trees who carry their growth in their rings or fish who mark time through their scales, humans mark time and pain through simply marking time. He notes that fish grow their entire lives, but humans start dying and shrinking from the moment we hit maturity. Growth, it seems is only for the fishes. My plague year was marked by my entire partner's family getting the virus, a story of gradual family loss, one of borders, and of course a presidential election. The pandemic closed not only schools and bars but also borders and our chances to move between Spain and the U.S. in any straightforward way. When we began planning the trip in the summer of 2020, we came up against all of the travel bans in place. My Spanish partner could get to Spain, but I could not. So, the research began, and I spent more time on Facebook groups than any person should be allowed to. We knew we weren't going to Spain just to have fun. We needed to take care of his father, but it felt like we were doing something wrong. Love, it turns out, knows no national borders, but border agencies certainly do. To get to Spain, he just hopped a plane to Madrid. I had to go through Lisbon, London, and Paris before arriving there. On the way back, I hopped on a plane flying directly to New York. He had to quarantine in Mexico for two weeks. Our stay there was marked by his father's continued decline but also moments of joy. The picture here captures one of those. As a U.S. citizen, his Spanish family and friends are always asking me about U.S. culture and practices. One of my tasks in Spain was to cook a big American Thanksgiving dinner, which I did with gusto. I made all the things: turkey, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, and pecan pie. I tried to explain the significance of each dish while realizing how insignificant and somewhat gross Thanksgiving foods are. But we had fun and spent the night after the meal singing "American" songs and discussing art--his cousins are all artists. That night, one of his friends recommended I read Uribe's novel. So, I ordered it that night. It is a lonely book of loss and thinking about how art marks that loss. I think that is how we marked our time in Spain contemplating everything we had lost in 2020 and everything we were gradually losing. We spent time at the Guggenheim and Fine Arts museums in Bilbao. In fact, we waited for my partner's COVID test while browsing the Fine Arts Museum. It turned out positive, and we separated at the point for two weeks. But the picture here represents a moment of joy as we said goodnight to my partner's cousins after the Thanksgiving weekend. I hope for all the clichés of going back to normalcy. And we probably will get back to the "before times" given humans' inability to learn from any of their experiences. But I am one of those humans and just want to sit at a bar and talk to strangers again. When that normalcy returns, I will look back at this picture and remember Uribe's words: "As with the growth rings of fishes, terrible events stay on in our memory, mark our life, until they become a measure of time. Happy days go fast, on the other hand--too fast--and we forget them quickly." Maybe Uribe is wrong, though. I will not be forgetting this day anytime soon. -
2021-02-20
8 Reasons Why BIPOC Are Not Getting Vaccinated Fast Enough
The following social media post on Instagram by handle @lauraberthlima is an infographic of 8 reasons why BIPOC are not getting vaccinated fast enough. The original poster made it clear that it’s a myth how BIPOC aren’t getting vaccinated due to their distrust, and that it’s actually the difficulty in getting the vaccine. There are a few reasons that are easily guessed, such as inaccessibility and plain racism. However, the graphic and caption explain the reasons a bit more. That includes how the BIPOC-designated sites for vaccinations are being booked by non-BIPOC folks; leaving the BIPOC population without a place to get vaccinated. Many of the posts on this archive can tell you about the vaccine rollout, how there are goals for herd immunity, and that some people have been getting vaccinated by now. This social media post tells me that BIPOC are not being considered for vaccination, and that the system of vaccine rollout right now is less than ideal. It’s as if the people in charge of the rollout are actively assuring that BIPOC folks do not get the COVID-19 vaccine, and are keeping them at risk by doing so. It’s dangerous and irresponsible, and such posts should be shared to as many people as possible. -
2021-02-18
Vaccine-gate in Peru
Peru's president, wife, and other well-connected politicians were getting the COVID-19 vaccine back in October, provided by the Chinese company Sinopharm. The vaccines were distributed before the vaccine was publically available, and some high-level officials have resigned. -
2021-02-19
Looking back at 2020 - A COVID 19 infested year
As a student in my last semester in Brooklyn college, I was looking forward to an easy semester with electives since I was done with all of my major classes. However, a downfall for me was that there was a very interesting internship which I wanted to proceed with but couldn’t because the program was no longer available because of budget issues that were caused by the corona virus. This internship was going to provide me with an insight of what my career will look like but that never happened. As an employee of the city of New York, I was still required to work in some form. For example, instead of coming to work physically we transformed our workplace to “zoom” meeting where our work would be done in 2-4 hours and we would still get paid for 8 hours. I saw this as an opportunity to take advantage of since I heard other employees who requested to still show up physically and were dropping like flies with the corona virus, one after another. However, mid-year, around June or July, employees were required to help out in other agencies such as the 311 center because of the increase of food shortages and other aid citizens needed. Eventually, in September we were allowed to go back to work physically – something I was looking forward to since I was more comfortable being where I knew the place and the people. Mentally and physically, COVID 19 prevented me and many others from staying physically active which led to me gaining unhealthy weight. It was a nonstop binge of eating and just sitting down. Granted, there were opportunities to go out for a walk or work out in the park – but those were chances that I wasn’t going to take because I knew I have a mother with underlying conditions which I had to do everything to prevent her from getting the virus. One thing that I did learn to do during these times is to cut and trim my own hair. Also, this was a perfect time for me to enhance my skills in freehand sketching since thats something I'm good at. Nevertheless, COVID 19 was an experience like no other that everyone had to grow through, and we continue to just learn and grow from it. -
2021-02-19
Vaccinations on campus
ASU is now vaccinating people on campus. Members of the ASU community receive an email when they are eligible. I am eligible and have tried making an appointment twice, but the appointments are always full. After you get a vaccine, employees are supposed to upload a copy of their vacine to an ASU website. -
2020-09-01
Essential Workers
When I think about this past year, what first comes to mind is my food service job. Then, I think of my coworker Alex. For almost a year we worked together and she ended up being a great friend. At the end of the summer, she quit to find a better-paying job. In this picture, we were goofing off at the end of our shift, cleaning the bathroom and listening to music. It was our last day together and we wanted to end on a good note. Food service has definitely been a challenge during this pandemic, but I’m grateful I got to work with a friend through most of it. I definitely miss her :) -
2021-02
My Grandmother Watches Over Me
Beep. Beep. Beep. I open my eyes and stretch. I smack that snooze button. The eagle stars at me. During these Covid-19 days, I’m able to spend time thinking about memories. Eyes close; I see darkness. I walk into my Grandmother’s house. A room has the eagle statue and a large window to see the birds. The eagle stars at me. All of a sudden, I am around family members at my grandmother’s memorial service. Beep. Beep. Beep. I open my eyes and stretch. I smack that dismiss button. The Eagle stars at me. My Grandmother is watching over me. -
2021-02-17
Socializing
I wrote about our new focus on virtual interaction. I feel that this is such an important (and hopefully temporary) shift in our culture that it ought to be written down. In this writing I briefly describe one aspect of life during the pandemic and my reflections on it. -
2021-02-17
Living Like An Immunocompromised Person
I have been living in fear of getting others sick rather than what will happen if I were to be the one to get sick. My brother is immunocompromised, so I have spent most of 2020 in my house. I have not been scared of coming back positive because I have had cousins who have been sick but have had no real issues. The reason I have lived a full year with fear and anxiety is the idea of giving the disease to my Diabetic brother. Part of the reason I came back to campus when the semester started was to get away from my brother and the fear that I could be the one to kill him. Coronavirus has made this past year one full of fear, but the main character of my fear, meaning my brother, has talked me into feeling comfortable enough to return to college. I knew people who had impaired immune systems had to watch what they did even before Covid-19 came into the picture. These days, immunocompromised individuals can barely leave their houses so I have followed the actions of my brother. If he has felt comfortable enough to return to teaching for middle schoolers and working at a camp with young children who were just learning to wear masks during the summer then I can go live on campus. I actually have a close friend in my dorm family unit who keeps me in check. My brother and my friend do a great job but sometimes, I think I stay home and away from people more than some individuals I know with compromised immune systems or pre-existing conditions that put them at risk of dying from the disease. That thought will not dissuade me from continuing with my partially-quarantined lifestyle. I am confused and hurt by those who have not even tried to protect others or change anything in their daily life. With the numbers that are currently being released in the United States and at my college, I will keep living in a way that will not increase my anxiety or the chance of my fears coming true. If my college continues to see rising positive cases, I hope we get put into a full campus lockdown or I have a little warning of being sent home so I can be tested and have a place to quarantine away from my brother. Everyone has Covid-fatigue but I will push through and stay as safe as I can. This year has taught me that when this pandemic is over, I need to live my life protecting immunocompromised people even if I do not know them. If I get a cold, I will wear a mask. I never want to be the one to blame for someone else falling sick or dying. -
2021-02-17
Mourning Limbo
It’s strange, losing someone during this pandemic. We saw grandma on her birthday last month and probably wouldn’t have planned to visit until Easter. Before the pandemic I would have taken her out a couple times a month and other relatives would make sure she had plans other weeks, even if it was just a trip to Walmart or the grocery store. But after nearly a year we had settled into this new normal. So I find myself checking Facebook to see if grandma liked a picture of my cat or picking up the phone to give her a call and then remembering. We haven’t had any sort of memorial, of course. My aunt wants to go to grandma’s favorite beach this summer, assuming we’re all vaccinated (and that seems less likely all the time). I’ve never been to that beach without grandma. Maybe then it will feel real. -
2021-02-17
A College Athlete's Pandemic
The story I uploaded explains how the Covid-19 pandemic has changed my experience as a college athlete. This is important to me because playing a sport in college is a huge part of my overall college experience. -
2021-02-15
COVID-19 REFLECTION
THE ITEM I WILL BE SUBMITTING TALKS ABOUT THE COVID 19 IMPACT ON ME AND MY COMMUNITY(MY CHURCH) -
2020-08
A COVID Year in College
When I graduated high school in the spring of 2020, we had already experienced the severity of the COVID-19 pandemic. I’m not sure how long people really expected it to last, but we had made it through this far with hopes of a sense of normalcy heading into summer. When August came around, many new college freshmen began wondering what starting a new experience, a new chapter of their lives, would entail while still following the same precautions and guidelines that were in place when high school ended. For some, the idea that some colleges may not even begin in person instruction in the fall was becoming a reality. The idea that I may be experiencing college distanced and wearing a mask did not occur to me in March of 2020. However, as move in day approached, the fact that the pandemic would impact college experiences was inevitable. As many freshmen were not looking forward to having to wear a mask and socially distance while trying to experience college and make friends, at my school, we were still getting to move onto campus and meet other students while taking many classes in person. After feeling very isolated for months, the first week of classes was strange as many students had not been in large group settings since March. It was a refreshing experience that reminded us of times before COVID. Because of this, a sense of community was growing as we made the best of the opportunities that were provided. After a while, COVID fatigue set in as it became difficult to balance in person classes, Zoom classes, and a growing workload. As less and less students attended class every week, it became lonely and dreary heading into the winter months. Many students left campus early and opted to take online only classes. The sense of community and hope we had at the beginning of the semester was dwindling by the day. Because of this, beginning classes during the first semester of our college lives was extremely different than we had hoped, despite the first few weeks going well. For many looking forward to new experiences and making new friends, disappointment ensued as it was difficult to meet others while everyone followed COVID safety guidelines. In the end, we are still experiencing the consequences of the ongoing global pandemic in college. Hopefully, this experience only made us stronger and showed us that we are able to overcome extensive obstacles. Being able to grow and challenge ourselves in an already challenging environment just goes to show that we are all stronger than we may believe. -
2020-05
The Escape of Friendship
Senior year of high school my hometown friends and I all chose to go to schools in different states so when we all got sent home last March it felt strange to be back from our freshman year of college so soon, but still having to do classes completely online. About a month before college students got sent home, I joined a sorority called Sigma Kappa. These girls quickly became some of my best friends while I was still at Duquesne, and once covid-19 hit we still advanced our connections even further. Everything was shut down and online, including classes for my first time ever, and the social aspect of my life was confined to my immediate family in my house like the rest of the world. The majority of my time was either spent binging Netflix shows or spending time with my friends and family virtually through Facetime and Zoom. This became my own little paradise inside of my house in which I was sharing my experiences with the people in my life in my own area and comparing them to my friends experiences in other states. When my family started to drive me up the wall and I needed an escape, I would hop on Facetime with one of my friends from home or one of my new sisters in my sorority. Once the weather started to get warmer my friends and I followed the lead of the rest of the country’s friend groups by going to a parking lot and sitting in the trunks of our cars socially distanced to get some sort of in person contact. This activity became almost a daily occurrence to get out of our houses for a short drive and fresh air. At this point in the pandemic, I was beginning to go star crazy, and I will never forget hearing the governor of New York, Andrew Cuomo, announcing that quarantine will be extended even longer. I burst out in tears in my kitchen because all I wanted to do was hang out with my friends in a normal setting. As this was happening, I relied on my best friends virtually and spent multiple hours with them over Facetime talking it out and realizing that this will eventually come to an end and normal life will begin again soon. One of the biggest things I can take away from this part of quarantine is how much my friendships mean to me. I was not a huge fan of Facetime, but the pandemic has really made me realize how necessary it is for me to keep in contact with my friends to check up on them and have them check up on me, even in the future when normal times occur again. As terrible and heartbreaking covid-19 was and still is, my friends were truly an escape from reality for me through Facetimes, Zoom, and car circles. I believe that my friendships became even closer through this shared trauma of covid-19 and I couldn’t have gotten through lockdown without them. -
2020-04-12
Easter in Quarantine
We all remember where we were on March 13th. That is the date that quarantine began, I remember sitting in my classroom and being told that we were going to be off for two weeks. At first, I was excited, a two-week break sounded like something I would love. I would have never expected this. I then found myself on April 12, 2020 celebrating the first holiday in quarantine. Easter was usually something pretty big in my family the whole family got together. We did baskets and candy was given out and we had a big dinner. However clearly because of the restrictions it was much different this year. It was only my mom, my two other sisters, and who spent the day together. However, my oldest sister, who is a nurse at a hospital had to spend it alone away from us to ensure the safety of her patients, herself, and us. we are a pretty close-knit family, so going through this experience was hard. Only being able to see my sister through our door or outside significantly distance apart was not the same. Staring through the window as we had conversations through our phones was not something, I thought I would ever experience. Not only, did I not get to see my sister, I did not get to see my Aunt, Uncle, cousins, and Grandma. We always spend Easter day with my mom’s side of her family. This probably was the first time in my entire life that I did not. this day was probably one of the hardest days in quarantine for me, because I really took in account that this is my life now. Easter is usually a time for happiness, celebration, and spending time with your family however this year it was filled of heartache and separation. As I sat down to my table that was set for only four, we put our computer at the end of the table to start the zoom call connecting my family together. We are all separated by miles apart, all in our own houses, yet we were together through this call. Having our dinner looking through a computer screen definitely was not expected. I am very grateful that my family has the technology to still talk to each other see each other's faces even if it is over screen. Something that I will never forget is when we were taking our traditional Easter photo. Usually, my three sisters and I all get together and take a happy picture. But this year we took the picture with my two other sisters and I inside and my sister who is the nurse on the outside of the door. That Easter in quarantine really made me realize what we took for granted. We simply took for granted each other's presence. -
2020-03-09
My life in a pandemic
The year 2020 feels like a never-ending nightmare. January and February of 2020, were just like any other ordinary month. I was getting my life together, planning my year out. I had gotten a new job as a patient care technician, I was going to Japan in the summer, and was hoping to be a resident assistant at one of the abroad programs in the summer as well. I remember being in the student union waiting for Josh Peck to arrive as a guest star at Duquesne. My friend asked me about my trip to Japan and if I was still going. Thinking back to it, I wish I weren’t so naïve. I told my friend how I was not worried and that it should all be fine. I was not expecting the impact it would have to how the world functioned. As Spring Break came along, I began training for my job as a PCT. I was ready to start work but that was when we started to get information about universities around us closing. I thought it would be any day now that Duquesne would also follow. A week after we got back from break is when Duquesne finally decided to close. Once I got home, it took a while for me to adjust to the new teaching style. While doing so however, I also took on some new interest and hobbies. First, my family and I worked on a renovating my room. We built a new bed frame, painted my room, and redid all my furniture. At the same time, I started to cook and bake every single day. In all the craziness of online school and renovations, I found comfort in the kitchen and working out in my basement. I would always find some new recipe to try out and because of my excitement, I would spend most of my time of the day in the kitchen. While doing so, I found time to workout so that I did not gain COVID weight. I was lucky enough that my classes for spring semester was comparably easier than my past semesters. This helped in being able to continue my hobbies and do online school. Starting back Fall semester was another challenge I faced. It was the start of my senior year and it felt depressing. It was supposed to be an exciting year and I was ready to get involved more around campus. However, with the new policies set, I do not get to see my friends often, or ever. Classes are more difficult to follow along because of the hybrid system and while I am supposed to be getting ready to be a nurse in a year, my experience in clinicals are being reduced. In all the darkness that COVID brought however, I am hoping with the new vaccine that we will start moving towards a normal life again. I cannot wait for the day I can be with people without the concern of COVID. -
2021-02-10
A year of Zoom church
We are approaching a year of dealing with COVID-19. Our little Presbyterian congregation has been worshipping by Zoom during this time. Zoom Palm Sunday; Zoom Easter; Zoom Advent and Christmas. We are preparing for Zoom Ash Wednesday as we live through our second COVID Lent. How do you do Ash Wednesday over Zoom? We will impose ashes on our households or by ourselves, as we hear “From dust you came, and to dust you shall return.” The PCUSA sent advice about what kinds of ashes are appropriate. Burned candle wicks, outdoor dirt, or even house dust were all deemed OK. This letter, with ashes from last year’s Palm Sunday palms, came from one of the church elders. It speaks to the longevity of the pandemic and its disruption. It also speaks of all the little things that individuals have done to keep our traditions in some form and keep our community connected to each other and to our communal rituals. -
-2021-02-13
Covid-19 Experience
poem The world was fine, Because we were all able to physically intertwined. We were able to roam the streets freely, Walk the park carelessly, Praise in church effortlessly, And enter our homes easily. For the past year, Livelihood has been invaded by a monster called covid-19. The WHO has declared a world pandemic. New protocols in place in order to win drastically. We are told to stay indoors, Wash our hands frequently and wear a mask when outdoors. No more social gathering, visiting friends or family. Life has become a solitary If we disobey, The monster virus will lend our life journey. Thousands have been killed and millions affected. It attacks the human lungs, That makes breathing feel like misery. Compared to the flu, It makes one sneeze and cough, With unbearable body pain. We just got to keep praying that God keeps and protects us during this time. Despite the introduction of a weapon vaccine to take control. The frustration, anxiety and fear kicks in daily. Still wondering when will life return to normalcy. -
2021-02-12
New Year, New Hope
This Year of the Ox is coming in much differently than the Year of the Rat. Last year, with the smallest shadow cast over the new year with news of a SARS type virus spreading through China, we were still able to celebrate normally, and thought those who had taken to wearing masks were exaggerating the seriousness of the disease. We had new year’s dinner with family, the kids wore their traditional outfits to school and fed red envelopes to the lion dancers, the city held their annual parade, and we even celebrated at Disneyland’s California Adventure, with local community groups coming in to perform and celebrate. Whether you say “新年快乐,” “Chúc Mừng Năm Mới,” or simply “Happy New Year,” Lunar New year is a huge celebration in our community and that celebration certainly isn’t happening in the same way this year. However, even though it’s tempting to focus on the fact that we’re sequestered at home and are physically separated from family, friends, and big celebrations, there is much optimism with the hope of the vaccine. All day, my phone’s been buzzing with new year messages, most of which end with “may the new year bring better tidings” or “may this new year bring much health.” Even talking to my in-laws for the new year today had an extra sense of joy, because they shared they are getting their second dose of the vaccine on Thursday. With light at the end of the tunnel, we are able to talk for the first time about maybe being able to see each other in person by the spring. When my son played piano for them virtually, I imagined it won’t be too long until these FaceTime visits will be replaced by the real thing. So here’s to the new year - may we all see health and peace. -
2021-01-29
Apart for Eleven Months
This year, my daughter’s Girl Scout troop, like every other troop in the country, has moved their cookie sales online. Even cookie pick up is strange this year. Instead of having families come by and pick up cookies to sell, I leave the cookies on the porch with the receipt and wave through the window. When my best friend (and co-leader) came with her daughter to pick up cookies, we chatted through the window and took a picture to save the bizarre moment. I mentioned that when another family from the troop came to get cookies, I almost didn’t recognize the girl because she had gotten so tall. My best friend then had the genius idea to take a picture of her daughter by my front door. She said I should take a picture of my daughter so we could compare their heights, as they have been the same size their entire lives. And then she said a statement that shocked me: “I mean, it’ll be a year next month since they’ve actually stood next to each other.” I guess since my best friend and I text almost every day, and have seen each other over Zoom, I hadn’t processed how truly long it has been since we’ve all been physically together. I met my best friend when I was 11, we were college roommates, married guys we were all in the same friend group with in college, had our first kids exactly six months apart from each other, our second kids two months apart from each other, and live 15 minutes away from each other. We have been lock step since we were kids, so not seeing each other for almost a year is insane. As the picture shows, our daughters are still basically the same height, so even apart, we're still lock step. Still, hoping we’ll be able to be together again before the girls grow anymore! -
2021-02-12
Mr. Carl is Always Watching
An unexpected benefit of quarantining for the past eleven months is my son has become quite the pianist. Since we’re always home, he wanders to the piano often to play his pieces - during recess, lunch, waiting for his sister to be done with whatever she is working on. Honestly, because he has endless practice time he has advanced much quicker than he would have if life were normal. His teacher and he share a dry and quirky sense of humor. My son’s favorite part of the week is when "Mr. Carl" calls for their virtual lesson. Carl noticed early into quarantine that the way the phone sits on the piano makes his picture reflect in painting on the wall. He told my son he is always watching him, and it has become their inside joke. When we put up Christmas decorations, the painting was temporarily replaced. Being a creative and funny guy, Carl photoshopped himself into the decoration and texted it to me to share with my son. Now after every single lesson, Carl texts me a picture of where he is that week. Carl’s positivity, consistency, and continued high expectations have helped my son thrive and I am so thankful for him. -
2020-12-23
COVID-19 The Good, The Bad, and The Deadly….
COVID-19 The Good, The Bad, and The Deadly…. When the COVID-19 pandemic struck I was in the spring semester of my second year of nursing school. Being naïve and not having experienced a pandemic before, I expected COVID-19 to breeze in and out like the flu every year. What I didn’t expect was a deadly virus that would leave behind it a path of death, despair, and devastation. One of the biggest areas in my life that was impacted by COVID was my education. As classes moved to virtual platforms there was a major learning curve for both students and professors. CDC guidelines and social distancing made it difficult to find areas on campus to study and next to impossible to study in groups. My friends and I worried about our lack of clinical experiences and how that was going to impact our future. Since I had virtually no clinical hours during my specialty rotations, not only was I unsure of my skills, I was also unsure of where I wanted to take my nursing career. Returning to work over winter break was also very challenging. I am a patient care assistant and medication technician at an assisted living facility. All throughout the summer I worked with the threat of COVID looming above my head like a dark cloud. It was the first time in my life that I felt people really depended on me. I understood that my actions impacted the health of others. Fortunately, my residents all remained safe. However, I was not prepared for my return a few months later. The residents were no longer allowed to have visitors and they started testing positive for COVID. At one point we started to run low on personal protective equipment, but we were still trying to take all the precautions that we could to keep us and our residents safe. It was heart breaking to be the one holding a residents hand as they passed away due to coronavirus. My job became a lot more difficult having to communicate with families and watching their final moments with their loved ones. The residents that were lucky enough to not contract the virus were lonely and couldn’t understand why they had to quarantine. They felt abandoned and afraid. It was a very trying time for all my coworkers since we were all working overtime due to our staffing shortages. Working overtime was both physically and mentally draining. Even on my days off I was called in because staff members were getting sick and were unable to come in. It was mentally exhausting because every day I would come in to work and be nervous to walk in to report and see who had passed in the hours I was gone. COVID-19 also brought about some remarkable changes. I have spent a lot more time with my family as we have discovered our new passion-hiking. My co-workers and I have a new appreciation for one another and take the time to have meals together and support one another to make sure we are doing okay mentally. I have been part of innovative changes like my COVID-19 remote patient monitoring job and positive experiences at the COVID vaccine clinic. I have seen the medical and scientific communities collaborate on treatment guidelines and the development of a vaccine. It has also been an incredible period for change and innovation. -
2021-02-12
Pandemic Brand Reviews: Starbucks
During the pandemic, I have noticed that my local Starbucks drive-thru lines are still long, maybe even longer than before. Even during odd hours, like 5-6pm, when people are usually eating dinner. This has been happening even before companies stopped doing work from home. I wonder if some of the people in the lines are bored teenagers like me who just want something to do, and maybe a little social interaction. It could also have to do with TikTok, where people share their favorite Starbucks orders. It seems like every week there is a new Starbucks trend that people have to try. It is interesting to see how the pandemic has affected consumer behavior. -
2021-02-12T15:27:16
The Year to End High School
Coronavirus hit the United States during my senior year, and it made things very difficult. No one was really worried about coronavirus at the beginning of 2020, but when March hit people started to realize that coronavirus was more serious. March 12, 2020 was my last day of in-person high school and I had no idea. I did not get to go to the actual last day of in-person high school because I had a respiratory infection at the time. Halfway through the day on March 13, 2020, is when they decided to close all schools in the U.S. for two weeks. All of the kids in my grade thought it was only going to last two weeks and then we would be back in school to finish the year, but that didn’t happen. After the two weeks off, they gave an extra couple of days off to figure out how to change completely to online learning. We ended up finishing the year online and although my classes got easier, my life got so much harder. I am an essential worker that works for a long-term care facility and when I was not doing school or schoolwork, I would be at my job doing as much as I possibly could to keep my residents fed and safe. I had a lot on my plate at the beginning of the pandemic with balancing school and work and trying to figure out how to still have a social life while staying in my house. I also had to be very careful with whatever I did because I needed to protect my parents who are sixty years old and seventy years old and also protect my residents who are mostly sixty or older. Since I was so busy working and doing school nothing hit me until May when the school decided to cancel prom and graduation. This hit me hard because I worked so hard for twelve years to now get nothing. I worked so hard to have all A’s in middle school and high school and be on the honor roll all of those years to not even get to celebrate my achievement. I had one night when I was thinking about all of it and I ended up having an anxiety attack and crying to my sister all night because I was so upset with how I was ending my senior year. I eventually got over it and starting college was such a weird experience it’s been so hard to make friends with people and we haven’t been able to have normal college experiences. Now that it is almost a year after the schools closed there are now two vaccines out and I have been able to receive both rounds of it because of my work, but there are still so many that need to receive the vaccine and we still have a long time before we return to normal. -
2021-02-11
Vaccinated!
Relief was what I felt when I received my covid vaccine. I felt even more relief when my 21-year-old daughter was able to receive her vaccine since she would not have been able to have gotten vaccinated until early summer. My first vaccine appointment was at 12:30 in the morning, and my daughter rode along with me to keep me company since I had to drive to State Farm Stadium. As we exited the freeway to go to the stadium, the parking lot where the vaccines were being administered could be seen, and I was surprised that it looked relatively vacant of vehicles. When we reached the parking lot, we were directed to follow the signs and pull up to the first checkpoint, where a person verified I had an appointment. At the second checkpoint, a person scanned in my appointment and asked if my passenger had an appointment as well. I told the person “no,” and they said, “we have had a lot of people not show up tonight for their vaccination, so if your passenger would like to get vaccinated, they are welcome to do so.” I immediately accepted the offer for my daughter to get her vaccination, and we were directed to another spot where she could fill out her paperwork for getting a shot. Once my daughter completed her paperwork, we were sent to wait in a line where the vaccines were administered, and after a five-minute wait, we had our first vaccine. After we had our shots, we were directed to wait in a line of cars for fifteen minutes to ensure we did not have any adverse reactions to the vaccination. While waiting for the fifteen minutes, an individual came to our vehicle and scheduled our second vaccination appointment, which was a huge relief since going through the computer system the state had established was cumbersome. What was surprising to my daughter and me was that while we waited during that fifteen-minute time frame, a nurse came by to ask us how we were feeling. We both said we were okay and stated we were surprised that we could get through the vaccine process so quickly and how there were so few cars. The nurse told us that many people were skipping out of their appointsments out of fear of rumored side effects from the vaccine, which was why there was extra serum for individuals like my daughter, who had ridden along. So I had the right schedule for the right night for my daughter to ride along. And now my whole household has been inoculated, which is a relief after three times of being in quarantine. Whew! -
Anxiety during the Pandemic
Since I can remember, I have always been a very nervous and anxious person. On my first day of second grade, I couldn’t even bring myself to leave my mom, and usually kids grow out of that stage when they go off to kindergarten. Throughout all of grade school, and my freshman and sophomore year of high school, I was always insecure, self-conscience, and very sad. It finally got better my junior year of high school and the only reason it got better is because I was on medicine. I went to a therapist and took my medicine on the regular, but I still was very anxious. I guess anxiety is just a part of who I am, and it is not something I can grow out of. After giving explaining my background with me being a very anxious person, you can probably see where this story is going. Obviously moving away for college was a very scary and anxiety increasing time. I could not sleep, eat, or smile the two weeks leading up to leaving for college. The sad thing is is that I was finally getting better, but then college came. Believe it or not though, I moved to Pittsburgh for college, and my anxiety got better. I was not as insecure and really learned to not let things get to me that used to get to me. It was March 14, 2020 where my life, and my anxiety started to go back to how it used to be in grade school and the beginning of high school. This pandemic has not been easy for anyone, and everyone can attest to that, but having anxiety and then having a world pandemic hit was horrible. I remember getting the email that told us we had to go home, and I had an anxiety attack. Because of my anxiety, I am a big planner and having to leave campus and not knowing when we will return put me in a state that I hope I never go back to. My mom picked me up on Sunday, March 15th, and that day I did not sleep, eat, or talk for about fourteen hours. I did not like how I did not have a scheduled day to go back to school, which made me so anxious because like I said before, I am a planner. We never got to go back to school and let me tell you online classes made me so anxious. I felt so behind, because going from all in person classes to all online classes is not an easy transition for anyone. Being a person with anxiety, I felt as though I was put into a world, I was not meant to be in. It felt so rushed, confusing, and honestly, I was at my lowest in the middle and end of March. I remember crying to my parents about how I didn’t want to do school because it was miserable and going out in public was so scary to me. This pandemic was publicized everywhere, and I thought in my brain, if I go into the grocery store, I will get COVID, and I know that is not true, but that is how my anxiety works. I did not go anywhere for about four months, and if I did, it would be for a drive in my car. I did not see anyone for about five months because I was worried about where they have been, and if they have the virus. This whole virus really made my anxiety worse and put me at my lowest point in my life. I felt like I did not have any friends, and I also felt very dumb because I thought I knew nothing that was going on in my classes. I started seeing a therapist again and it really helped. The fact of being scared to go into the grocery store or mall or even seeing friends seems silly. I wasn’t scared, it was just my anxiety because I wanted to make sure I did not get the virus. I hope this virus comes to an end, because I know how much it took over my mental health, and I believe I am not the only one. -
2020-03-20
Journal of the Plague Year
The Corona Virus aka COVID-19 has drastically affected my life as well as the entire world. COVID-19 first affected my life during my second semester sophomore year of college. The beginning of sophomore year was when we first started hearing about COVID-19. At that time, it wasn’t really a big deal. It was more like a myth in a sense; it was happening everywhere else but here. And then, March came. More and more reports of COVID-19 in the United States were being presented. It was starting to become a serious threat. The day after Saint Patrick’s Day, I was with some friends and we were all hanging out and getting lunch. During our lunch, we received an email saying that we had to move off campus within the next week due to the threat and seriousness of COVID-19. We were all so shocked and upset that our sophomore year was cut short. In the blink of an eye, we had to pack up our entire college lives and leave to go home. All of the memories we were supposed to make were gone. For me, all of my friends were at school so going home was very hard for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family but, I also want to be able to see my friends. Once I got home, I had to do the rest of school online and had to be quarantined in my house. Online school was such a new and difficult experience. I had never done online school and neither had the professors, so it was a very difficult transition. Something else that was difficult was being trapped in a house from March until May. I am not the type of person to just stay cooped up in a house. I like to be out doing things and socializing with others but, I couldn’t do that. I was confined to my house with only my family. It was hard finding things to keep us all entertained every day while also trying not to kill each other. We tried puzzles, games, family walks and hikes, movie night, and everything in between. These things worked but only for a short period of time. Being quarantined really does affect your mental health. I also had to celebrate my twentieth birthday in quarantine which was not fun at all, but at least I was with my family which made it better. Then came July. July first was when I was moving into my first house in Pittsburgh for college. I thought that it was going to be such a fun and exciting time. But it was difficult with the whole pandemic going on. It was hard to see my friends, go out to eat, and go to the bars. I was still able to have fun, but it was still difficult to adjust to a new lifestyle. Online school full time was also hard, but I got through it and figured out how to do school efficiently. Come end of October, I got COVID-19. I didn’t realize of shitty COVID-19 was and that I could even get it because I was so young. I had all of the symptoms except loss of taste and smell. I was bed ridden for two weeks; it was awful. After that things were as good as they can be during this time. A week before New Year’s Eve, my entire family tested positive for COVID-19 except me since I had already gotten it. They got really sick and I had to take care of them and grocery shop and run errands for them. That was hard for me to watch them all be so sick. But they got better and became healthy. Yes, I haven’t had this extreme story due to COVID-19 but it did affect my life in ways that I didn’t think it could. I had to change my entire way of living because of this virus. -
2020-08-21
College Through A Pandemic
While I have been incredibly fortunate to remain shielded from the harsher effects the pandemic has wrought on so many families and individuals over the course of the past year, I have faced a multitude of inner challenges in the transition from high school to college. Attending college, in the most normal of times, can prove a formidable adversary for those like myself who struggle with anxiety. Navigating a new campus, facing distance from loved ones, and managing an increase in course load all were deeply concerning facets of the experience in my eyes, even when a global pandemic was an inconceivable complication to these already daunting tasks. Most paramount of my worries, perhaps, was the social aspect of college. Though incoming freshmen are often reminded that this is an area of insecurity common to every new student, the restrictions that students were dealt amplified my ever-growing hesitations. Mandatory isolation, lack of social gatherings, and limited opportunities to meet others culminated into the manifestation of my deepest social anxieties. If I couldn’t cope with the pressures of normal interaction, how could I be expected to thrive in an environment barren of the very opportunity? I spent many nights leading up to the looming day of move-in sitting on the couch with my parents, often talking until the early hours of the morning. I was, at first, hesitant to express my feelings and risk sounding ungrateful or ignorant of the great privilege I possessed. So many people yearned to be in the position that I myself wanted any way out of. I was thankful for the opportunities that I had been given, and I felt that squandering them and conceding to my anxious preconceptions would be an insult to all those who weren’t given the same chance under the difficult circumstances the pandemic established. After many hours of deliberation with my family, I felt that letting my increasing social anxiety dictate my future would be disposing of a precious opportunity for personal growth. When the day of move-in arrived, it was impossible to ignore the pit in my stomach and the tightening in my chest once my parents had said their goodbyes and departed. Though I couldn’t have felt more alone in that moment, I quickly learned that this was far from the case. After only a brief period of awkward silence, my roommate and I set about decorating our space with posters representative of our shared taste in music and love of hockey, interests we soon found to be shared among a small group of people in our building. Through our conversations that first night, it was not only clear that good friends are much closer than my anxiety would have liked to admit, but also that we were going to establish a deep bond in experiencing the often challenging, always unique adventure of attending college in a pandemic. -
2021-02-11
Mini Oral History with Dianna Sundell, 02/11/2021
This is an oral history of my mom, Dianna Sundell, sharing that being able to spend a lot more time with her grandkids (my kids) and having time to bake and make crafts have been positives of the pandemic. The picture is of cinnamon rolls she made based off a copycat Disneyland recipe. -
2020-10-26
Who are you?
It has been weird. A time where the words “pandemic” and “quarantine” are not just being used in a book or video game. Isolation is a weird thing too. It is good in moderation, but what now draws the line between too much and too little? An hour can seem like days and a day can seem to be the same over and over again. I have been delving further into art and music as the days pass. It seems strange that sometimes exploring art and music has the same effect as isolation such that time does not seem to exist in the expected way. I sometimes forget that we are in a pandemic when drawing or alone as if it were already in the past. Art and music have always been in my life, so I expanded on them by trying new genres and mediums. It is not always easy to try new things or to be forced into new things. Often times, I did not appreciate or even like what I attempted in art. It would be quite hard to count the number of drawings I have thrown away or canvases I’ve painted over. Somehow, over the course of quarantine, I have found myself to be more critical of the things that I create. Perhaps it is from being isolated which gives me more opportunities to overthink. Perhaps it is the constant comparison to other people on social media. Perhaps my disgust is not a new development at all, but it seems more pertinent since it is difficult to focus on other things. Of course, this disappointment is crawling into other aspects of my life. The drawing is one that I used to think was decent, but I find myself only critiquing it. It depicts a human floating and wrapped partially in fabric. In October of 2020, I erased most of it and tried it again, but the results stayed the same. Art is interpreted on an individual basis, but I personally found it to be about identity. Everyone wearing a mask made me think about who we really are. I have certainly run into people where I did not recognize them at all with a mask. Part of the identification process is how people look and how they act. If we don’t know who they are, do they act differently? Does this make an individual, a different person? -
2021-01-20T12:22:00
Too close to home
I was in class on a Wednesday and my phone kept going off like crazy.it was being so distracting so I just decided to check why it was going off and then turn it off for good. I picked up my phone and there were thousands of text messages saying "you need to get tested", "go get a test". At this point I was completely confused, so I asked them what was going on and they said that one of my friends had tested positive for Covid and that I need to get tested because I'm hanged out with them on that Monday. Once I read this I completely froze, I didn't know how to handle this information. I was scared for my life, and for hers, I wasn't sure if she'd be okay. If I was going to be okay. I wasn't paying attention to class at all and everything my teacher was saying was going completely over my head. School got out and all I could think about was how am I going to tell my parents that I came home possibly with Covid. The thought of just having to tell them the news and how they could possibly react to it scared the life out of me. I didn't think that I could tell them because I was afraid they would be too disappointed in me and to scared. I finally got the courage to tell my mom and she surprisingly took the news well. My parents weren't happy but they definitely weren't angry so that's good. They told me that I had to wash everything that I have touched in the past 2 days. I was so glad to tell my parents because holding that secret in was tearing me apart inside. I checked in with me friend everyday to make sure she was ok. It's scary to see it on the news and to hear it on the radio but once it hits too close to home, it can really change your entire life. -
2021-02-11
Zoom Birthday "party"
For this journal entry I plan to discuss the changes this pandemic is bringing to children and parents, and continue to discuss how their voices are silenced in this archive. My son’s sixth birthday was the other day, and I decided to host a Zoom get-together for him with his closest friends from school. It was awkward for me to text some moms I have not seen in ages because we do not go to the park anymore for play dates. This group of moms and kids would meet up on Fridays at this park the kids fondly called the “fish park” because it had a play structure with a big fish designed into it. The group got to be quite large at the beginning of 2020 with around eight families participating. As I write this, I am feeling very sad and missing those days when we were all together. We often would each bring something to snack on and share as a group. We were all there to help each other and of course socialize. It was a nice social group. It was also a friendship formed based on our children’s connection to each other. So, when the pandemic hit and play dates were out of the question, some of us drifted apart for a while. I remember when we first started learning about COVID-19, this was the hot topic of discussion in our Friday meetups. We debated and discussed and worried. They all thought I was crazy, I am sure, for going out and stocking up on food back in February because an official from the CDC told people to even back then. Later, they started to realize I was right and followed my lead before it was too late and the grocery stores started emptying out. Four of us formed a text group and have kept in almost daily contact with each other this last year. A lot of our conversation is supportive while we try to get through these challenging times as moms of small children. We share our worries and fears. We share our joys and survival tips. There have been lots of laughs, too. It has been a blessing to have this support group this year. We even met up in a park one Sunday morning last fall and spent the morning catching up. We were of course masked and sitting in chairs well over six feet apart. All these moms have made the same decision to keep their children at home. One mom decided to home school her children because she could not get adequate resourcing for her son who has autism and as a former teacher, she decided to take it on herself. Being online for school has been especially hard for children on the spectrum, I have been told by a few moms with children who are, because mainly their routine is messed up. Two of us have our children in the flex program and one moved hers to a new completely online school our district created to serve families during the pandemic. The flex program was for parents who are wishy washy on deciding whether to send their kids back to school. It is for us parents who were too scared to send their kids back so early (and had the privilege to keep them home) and optimistic that the virus would fade away enough and our kids could return relatively safe. It is not looking good that our children will return at all this year. Every quarter we say, oh maybe next quarter, and then the virus spreads in our community and the numbers tick up and we keep them home again. Anyway, the point is that my two kids have been home this entire time, almost a year, out of a brick-and-mortar school and not socializing with other kids in person. It has been very hard for them. They miss seeing their friends desperately. Obviously, a birthday party was out of the question so I decided to set up a Zoom “party” for my son yesterday to celebrate his birthday and so he could see his friends’ faces for a little bit. It did not work well. First off, I muted everyone to announce the plans and then could not figure out how to unmute everyone and that lead to tears and frustration. Kids kept leaving and coming back. Some would not participate in the games I tried to arrange. We played charades, would you rather, and did a little scavenger hunt by sending them to find objects of the various colors of the rainbow. My kids were not having it. My son was out of sorts which is not like him, and my daughter was so upset with me because I would not let her interrupt the games to play a video from her screen. So, she was pouting, and my son was pouting for some unknown reason. I think he was overwhelmed and just fatigued by it all. This is not what he wanted for a birthday party; I am sure. But I tried. I did the best I could with the circumstances, and I know some of the kids had fun even if the birthday boy did not. The bottom-line is that Zoom birthday parties are hard—harder to facilitate than in-person birthdays and wow do I give props to teachers who are doing this every single day. My son’s kindergarten teacher makes it look so easy! But I know it is not. I already had tremendous respect for teachers, but my respect has grown even more after this experience. I am very thankful for all they do for our children. They should be honored. The problem with this archive is the potential for silences. As I discussed last week, children will be silenced in this archive unless an adult writes their experiences for them. I am writing this story about this Zoom party for the archive and it is getting included, but it is still from my perspective. My son is not sharing what he felt during the party and how he has felt this year collectively. We may never know what he was thinking during the party because little kids move on and forget. At the very least though I have shared this experience from my point-of-view, which I am sure is a replication of thousands of parents and children’s experiences all over the world—at least the ones who have access to the internet and Zoom. -
2021-02-04
It Looks Like Its Not Just Me
I came across this article about how many people are "hitting the wall" with COVID fatigue, and it helped me realize that my current state is not unique. Lately, I have been feeling the cumulative effects of the isolation that the pandemic has created. I feel less physically healthy, and mentally as well. Frankly, I do not think I am as mentally sharp as I was a year ago. It is at least comforting to know that I am not alone in this. There is also now hope that the pandemic will end and that life will return to some degree of its former normality, but it seems clear that this will take some time. -
2021-02
Vaccine
I feel like I am running out of ideas for JOTPY entries so I thought I would share my excitement for my second vaccine appointment next week. While I know we still have a long road ahead with COVID-19, I am excited to take this next step for myself. The peace of mind will be worth it alone. It will be nice when the "plague year" is a memory rather than a current event following herd immunity. -
2020-03
COVID- College Freshman Edition
My introduction to COVID-19 was something I will probably never forget. March of 2020 I was in my freshman year of college halfway through spring semester. It was being rumored that COVID was taking over the US and people were dying from this virus. I was uncertain, as the rest of the country, as to how many more people were gonna die and truly how contagious this virus was. I had some knowledge on the virus because I actually did an informative speech on COVID back in the Fall of 2019 in my public speaking class. At the time of my speech there were about 10 possible cases within the US. That number today is about 27.3 million in our country alone. Everyday became uncertain with health and travel which both played a major role in my life. I attend my university in Pennsylvania, and I live in Florida, leaving me 900+ miles away from my family. Being 18 at the time, having rumors of our university closing down scared me. I became afraid of how I was supposed to pack up everything on my own, find somewhere to keep it or a way to ship it home, and be on an airplane, and finish my freshman year of college during a global pandemic. There were then rumors of states shutting down and people being unable to travel in and out which made my situation even worse and my stress levels to increase. Spring break was approaching, and many schools developed the same plan- close schools and universities down for a few days and go from there. This turned into schools remaining online for the remainder of the school year (3 months). This is where my story gets fun (heavy on the sarcasm ). Before I flew home for spring break my mother called my school and specifically asked if the university planned on shutting down so that way, I could properly plan out my flight, pack up my room and put everything in storage. The university said that they did not plan on doing so and if plans changed, they would notify us. Well….. I flew home two days later on a Sunday and once I landed, I got an email from the school that we would be remote for the rest of the spring, fall 2020 was uncertain and that all residents needed to move out within week time. I was filled with anxiety and anger. I now had to find a storage place, figure out how I was going to transport everything because I didn’t have my license, and if Florida and Pennsylvania would let me travel. This also meant that I had to pay for another flight to school and back home as well as a hotel. I was able to book my flight, work with Res Life on a timeframe to move my stuff out and a storage place with a way to transform. My main issue once I landed was a place to stay. Everything in the country began to close including hotels. I did not book a hotel in advance because I was told that I could stay on campus, but of course when I arrived, I was told otherwise and had to find a hotel. Once again, my mother made a phone call and was able to get me a two night stay at a hotel. In the end I was able to pack up everything and fly home without getting the virus, it just took a lot of hoops to jump through to get there. -
2020-03-11
Mental Health during the Pandemic
On March 11th, 2020, my life changed drastically. Just over a month into my second semester of my freshman year at Duquesne University, I was excited to keep making memories with people who became like a second family to me. However, news of a virus on the other side of the world was spreading quickly. We never thought that it would come to this country or affect us in the slightest. But on this day, the entire student body received an email that would absolutely crush me: the email from the president of the University telling us that we would need to leave. When I received this news, I do not know which I was more scared of, this mysterious virus or not being able to see my new friends for a long time. At this point, I did not know how the virus was going to affect me. I had absolutely no idea how much tragedy was about to spread throughout the country. All I knew was that the high of being a college student, with independence and a new group of amazing people was being ripped away from me like a snap of the fingers. As soon as I got home, all I did was complain to my parents that I wished I was at school. Each time I did this, I would end up feeling terrible, because I knew that people were suffering. However, even though I knew I shouldn’t, I felt like I was suffering too. My entire life, I was raised as an only child. As a kid and in high school, I had an amazing group of friends that I still talk to today. When I went to college, I started spending every waking moment with my new group of friends, whether it be doing homework, watching movies, etc. I knew I wasn’t going to be with them year-round, but I knew that I was not ready to leave them in the middle of March. After all, the semester wasn’t even over yet. Spending the rest of my semester at home was extremely difficult for me. I felt so lonely, even though my friends were just a phone call or text away. However, every time I communicated with them, I somehow felt further away from them. It was a constant reminder that I should be with them, but I could not be. Throughout the last months of the semester and into the summer, my mental health rapidly. I knew I was experiencing a small form of depression, but I did not want to admit it to anyone because there were people in the world that were suffering more as a result of the virus. I soon found some form of comfort when I realized that other teenagers and first-year college students were going through the same thing as me. So many people were taken away from the people and places that they loved most, and everyone was having a hard time coping. The coronavirus has put the entire world through a lot, but each day I have hope that the end is near, and that we will all be reunited with the world we used to know. -
2020-05-06
Questioning the Future
I closed my laptop after taking my last final exam for my second semester of college. Rather than celebrating the end of my freshman year of college with friends, I was found alone in my childhood bedroom, wondering what the future had next to offer. The distraction of being able to focus on my schoolwork provided an escape from the other depressing reality that I found myself in. My parents were stressed for their own safety, and for the safety of their loved ones, as COVID-19 roamed rampant throughout the United States. My younger brother was attempting to balance online school at the young age of thirteen- stressing about online lectures rather than being able to play with friends as I did at such a young age. I felt angry and helpless that there are people in my community who would not follow preventative measures such social distancing or wearing a mask- simple actions that would be able to save countless lives. I felt frustrated that the leadership of the United States blamed other nations for causing this pandemic, rather than work tirelessly to find ways to stop the spread of COVID-19. In a time where I should have been surrounded by those who I cared deeply about, forming new relationships that would last a lifetime, and focusing on what I truly want to gain in life- I was found alone and wondering if the future I imagined would ever be possible. I imagined that I would be able to go back to school the next year- a campus that I grew up on and imagined making friends on and being social with others- with the hope that a vaccine for COVID-19 would be found. I remember my parents feeling scared about their future as educators, questioning if they would be thrown into the zoo of high school and elementary students, who may have contracted and spread COVID-19. I remember my brother being scared that if he saw his friend, he would make mom and dad sick. All of these depressive scenarios truly made me question the type of life that I was living. Before the pandemic, I remember living life freely; however, it was as if one day was simply repeated into the next, I was going through the motions of life in order to succeed and achieve the future that I desire. Being alone in my childhood bedroom allowed me to realize that life is truly precious at its core- one will never know when their path for life and their future may take a turn for the worst or run into a bump in the road. Nevertheless, spending time with my family for five months allowed me to become reawakened to the little things that life has to offer. The smile of saying hello to a friend without it being hidden behind a mask. The hug of a loved one without it being through protective plastic. Although the pandemic halted my path to the future that I imagined I would have, it allowed me to remember what life truly has to offer, ensuring me that I am still on my path to achieve the future that I desire. -
2020-05-31
High School Graduation-- Covid-19 Edition
May 31, 2020 Senior year, something that every student looks forward to the second they enter high school. It’s supposed to be a time for celebration, big life steps, and most importantly, spending one last year with the kids you grew up with. Starting senior year in the fall of 2019, everything seemed laid out before me, it was just a matter of finishing college applications and deciding on a college, worrying about who might be my prom date, and whether I would be starting goalie for my varsity lacrosse team. All those worries disappeared when schools got shut down March 13, 2020. At the time only for two weeks, given that Covid-19 was really beginning to hit the United States. My friends and I thought nothing of it and were hopeful for a return to school to finish out senior year. But weeks went on, and one-by-one, everything began to be canceled. First, it was lacrosse. Next, it was the permeant switch to online school. And last, perhaps the worst of all, the cancelation of prom and graduation. When it truly hit that the end of senior year had been taken away from us, I wasn’t quite sure what to do. I sulked around for a long time, and even began to feel like I was losing friends. Flash forward to May 31, 2020, and I’m sitting in the back of my Dad’s truck, which was decorated in my school’s colors of green and black. I sat in my graduation cap and gown all by myself with my parents in the front of the truck. The community had come together to celebrate the Class of 2020 in the only safe way they could think of—a parade. We waited in a parking lot to drive by my high school one last time. Most of my classmates were there, sitting on top of cars, looking through sunroof windows, or sitting in the back of trunks. It was heartbreaking to see all of my friends split apart, all waving from our cars. Friends who I was only really friends with in class smiled and waved, all of us wishing the other well, and dying to give out a hug. As we began to drive through the neighborhoods leading up to the high school, the streets were lined with so many people (all socially distanced and with masks), holding signs and screaming for us. I didn’t cry until I saw my favorite teacher, who saw me and also started to cry, saying she got the letter I had sent her, thanking her for being my support throughout high school. It was such an overwhelming feeling of sadness and joy. When we finally made it to the high school, we all parked and waited to drive by the entrance one more time where they would call our names, as if we were walking across stage. The picture I am submitting is a moment when we had stopped, and I was standing there crying looking out at the high school and all of my classmates. The picture I feel captures how so many were most likely feeling in that moment. Knowing there was so many you didn’t truly get to say good-bye to, but so thankful for the opportunity to see each other from a far. Covid-19 took away so many things for so many people. Graduation was something I had been looking forward to for years. But to see the community come together for us high schoolers in such a confusing time is something I will never forget. -
2020-04
COVID. A Blessing in Disguise?
The pandemic has allowed me to take a step back from everything in society to see what I truly care about and what truly matters to me. Not only what matters, but who in my life I love and care about that matters. The photographs I have attached show exactly who those people are. Throughout the pandemic I have made stronger relationships with my family. Although there were moments that it was hard spending time with just them 24/7. It was difficult knowing I could not see friends from home that went to different colleges during the year. This is because their parents were definitely stricter about COVID than my parents were. And I completely understood that, but it was tough not seeing one another knowing they were just five minutes away. To fill that frustration, we would have Netflix watch parties from our houses on our own computers so that it would feel as if we were all watching the same movie in the same room. Then after a few months we would take our dogs for walks outside, and that is shown in one of the pictures. We did this so that we could see each other while being able to properly social distance. It was just hard having to accept that for now it would be our new normal. Going home from Duquesne meant that all my friends from school would also be heading home. In another picture it shows a few of my friends and I all FaceTiming one another. We would all group FaceTime together just about once every day to play games and just catch up which also gave me something to look forward to. A positive that come from quarantine was being able to do workouts with my family three times a week. We never got to do this because I would be at school and my brother would be working. Two times out of the week we would work out at a local park near my house. Then every Saturday morning bright and early at 7 AM my dad’s trainer would pick a different sight throughout the city to work out at. This was something I definitely looked forward to once a week because typically we would just work out at the same gym. Now that the gym had to be shut down it allowed us to think outside the box. In one of the pictures it shows my dad, brother, his girlfriend and others that worked out at Point Park one freezing morning. It was definitely hard waking up on a cold morning, but having a change of scenery, being able to be outside and be physically active with some family and friends was nice and refreshing. We went to other destinations around the city too such as outside Hinze Field, PNC Park, and Pitt. In another picture is my mom and I. We have always been close, but with me being away at college COVID had allowed me to be around her more often. We would watch movies, cook dinner, and make fires together which was nice to be able to spend more quality time together. Overall, COVID was hard not being able to see certain friends that I have missed, but it had also allowed me to make stronger relationships with those I had not spent a lot of time with because I have been away at college. In some aspects I would say that COVID was a blessing in disguise for me and my family. -
2020-03-20
Hope
My plague year story of the covid-19 pandemic is honestly quite a normal one. For me covid was not a barrier. It was an obstacle that I learned to get around. I did not let anything hold me back from trying to make the best of my situations. Nothing was ideal in any way possible. I never imagined my final months of highschool being spent at home or starting college online. But I always remembered to take a step back. To distance myself from the chaos and most importantly enjoy my time to the best that I could. Because as humans we have limited control on what happens in our life. It all really depends on how you react to what is happening. You can let the confusion surround you and hold you back. Or you can step out and keep strolling on your path to success, happiness, and love. So like I said my situation in life at the time of the beginning of the outbreak was not ideal. I was in my final few months of highschool and looking forward to graduation, prom, and moving on to college. Unfortunately those milestones did not occur according to plan. My highschool experience was cut short. Way too short. I was forced to adjust to online schooling in very little time. The teachers were still confused on how to teach online and kids were confused on how it worked. My school did not utilize google meets or zoom at the time. So my only connection to my teachers was email. The situation was pretty sad. I missed my friends from school and I missed my teachers that used to fill my day with fun. But I adapted quickly and got my work done. I did not let the communication gap stop me from finishing school on a high note. I utilized the extra free time I was presented with by working. All the time. I work at Target. So I am considered an essential worker for an essential business. So I was desperately needed at the store all the time to help out. I was working forty hour work weeks all while still making time for friends and finishing school work. I worked later shifts, came in on off days and came in earlier to help when they needed. I will never forget the benefits of the work experience I got during the first few months of the pandemic. It taught me a lot about managing my time and money well. I also made great connections with my coworkers and customers who came into the store. These experiences will help me greatly when I move forward in my life in many ways I do not even realize yet. I worked a ton, finished highschool, enjoyed my summer; which I still found a way to make memorable and started college. I may not have gotten the experience I had hoped for when I first came to my campus. But as I’ve said many times, I did not let the obstacles stop me from enjoying my life. I built the greatest support group of friends and I could not have asked for a better outcome. My group and I made the best of college campus life. We always find ways to have fun and still get our work done. So far college has been a fun time and I am glad I came. Again, my story may not have the same hardships as a lot of people may have gone through. My story has been pretty hopeful. So here is to passing the hope on. I hope I continue to grow and thrive and if you may not have had the best experiences yet, here is to hoping you can break free from the chaos and live life to the fullest capabilities right now. Life is not about how hard things are, it is about how you are able to overcome difficulties in your path. -
2021-02-10
Ubiquity
This is a personal piece, more like a little rant, about essential workers and the ubiquity of the virus. -
2020-05
Weekly Planner
Attached is a picture of my planner from May of last year. I have always tried to keep a journal of some sort but over the past few years entries in my actual journal have become more sporadic, and I sometimes feel bad that I'm not documenting my life better. But I have found that I keep my memories and experiences in different ways. I keep post-its and planners and notes from past classes, all of which contain some view into a different time of my life. This page in my planner was probably drawn during class, or while waiting for another class to start. The goldfish stickers were there before I wrote the words around them, I'm pretty sure. Looking back now I could say maybe the goldfish and the misconception about their memory is a comment on the way isolation and lack of enrichment affects memory, but really I just had them nearby and thought they were cool. At this point the monotony of quarantine and online school and being out of work made a planner feel kind of superfluous and each page was less like an organized look at my week and more like a dumping ground for my thoughts. The speech bubbles near the fish read: "(I love you guys)" "What?" "I said let's count down so we can all sign off together!" Since moving back to my parent's house in March I haven't seen any of my friends in person. It's been nearly a year of movie nights over discord, all of us counting down and trying to press play at the same time despite the latency. There's a certain intimacy of talking to someone late into the night from my bedroom, surrounded by artifacts of my high school life. I'm afraid for myself and afraid for my friends but we don't talk about the big scary thing looming over all of us. It's been nearly a year and the space in between now and February feels both infinite and microscopic. I am still, but time goes on. I remember that I wrote "One day I will be disappointed (spelled incorrectly) I did not document history better" later in the week. Memory is fragile and I want to preserve it the best I can but lately I'm too tired to take down the details of each day. Maybe this vague collection of my thoughts will be valuable to future me, but I won't know until then so I'll hold onto it anyway. -
2020-12-02
Theatre Workshop presents: The Essential Bronx - COVID Stories, Part 1
We have preserved in this short film a selection of Theatre Workshop students' authentic experiences during the COVID-19 pandemic and we want to share these stories with you. -
2020-03-13
What I thought about the Virius in the beginning.
At the beginning of quarantine I was scared. I was scared because we were told that we had to do school from home. Also we had to where masks whenever we went out and we couldn't see anybody because my family is high risk. I was very scared because how people were talking about it, it seemed very bad and I was scared for my family to get it. In the end I was very scared that my family was going to get it but I am so grateful that no one in my family go it. -
2020-03
College Interrupted
A lot has happened over the last year. It is crazy to think about just how much changed and just how quickly it all happened. March of 2020 everything had finally started to come together I was living with my friends at school and they were both happy. I was content with everything that was going on around me and I was finally starting to feel like myself again. People were starting to get worried about the spread of the Coronavirus especially with how bad it was in Italy. My friend and I were in a Philosophy class and for our spring break we got to go to Greece. A couple days before we left for Greece there was some confirmed cases in the country and other spring break trips were being cancelled. However, we were still able to enjoy a lovely week in Greece but when we got back everything changed. I had just got back to my apartment on campus and I got to see my friends and we had only gone a week without seeing each other and it felt like so much longer. We were all sitting on the couch playing games and having a good time when we received an email from the University. Now in this email they said that classes for the next week were cancelled and that the week after that everything would be online due to the Coronavirus. At the time we were like okay cool spring break part two but this time we get to be together, so my friend got up and wrote on my chalk calendar as a joke Corona week 1 and Corona week 2 across the two weeks that were the beginning of the lockdown in the United States. We went to the store and began preparing to hunker down in the apartment for however long we would be there. Some days later we got an email saying that classes would be online for the remainder of the semester and that we were all getting sent home. It was soul crushing. It felt awful having to just leave when none of us were prepared for such an event. It was so sudden and so many tears were shed we didn’t want to go home. We didn’t want the good times to end. Having to say goodbye and not knowing when or if we would get to see each other again was the hardest part. Of course, the transition to online classes was by no means easy but it hurt to leave. It only got harder the longer we spent apart. I was supposed to turn 21 in April and well like most college students I had planned to go out drinking with my friends that night but instead I turned 21 with my parents and it wasn’t what I would have expected as a 21st birthday. Maybe that’s for the best though. However, as I turned 21 and my mental state had plummeted severely maybe it would have been better to just have a normal 21st birthday. It was a few days after that when I got a text from my boss asking if I would be home for the summer and if I felt comfortable working during the pandemic. So, I worked at the little coffee shop during the summer and I washed my hands until they were raw and asked customers to wear their masks until my voice was horse. Until I was able to return to Duquesne for the fall semester to continue studying to teach history during a major historical event. -
2021-02-07
Super Bowl Sunday on a Balcony
Super Bowl Sunday on the balcony. Some occupants who live in an apartment across the way from us brought out a huge t.v. onto their balcony and have people over to sit outside on the balcony to watch the Super Bowl. This is a pure and precious moment.