Items

• 
  2020-07-01

  Defender of Target

  During COVID-19 I worked at Target. I was freshly 21 and like everyone else, was shocked by the intensity and severity of the pandemic. What had begun as a part-time gig quickly became my entire world. In the state I lived in, our store was considered an “essential business,” and therefore remained open. It was my job to stock and fold children’s clothes, maintaining a clean store front in the midst of the chaos. Throughout the early days, I would stand behind my folding table watching full-grown adults battle over toilet paper. They would line up outside of the store hours before it opened to ensure they’d receive a package of the holy grail. Suddenly, folding Peppa Pig shirts wasn’t my only duty. I became the protector of fitting rooms, the hunter of lost and contaminated clothing; gathering items that had been illegally tried on and stuffing them into their quarantine room, to “disinfect” for 3-5 business days. Being an essential employee during the pandemic made me jaded. It offered me insight into the human mind, a glimpse of what panic and fear can do to a person. I saw the worst, but also experienced kindness and empathy from people who understood what it was like to be caught in the midst of the hellfire. For some, Target turned into a safe haven, a place that remained open and reliable despite the madness going on in the world, while others gave up their sanity to keep it up and running. I will always think of my time at Target as a glitch in the matrix; a bizarre patch of time that tested the strength of a part-time sales associate, and humanity.
• 
  2021-04-08T09:16

  6 feet apart

  This was the first time I had physically gone back to the doctors since the pandemic. At this point in time, virtual or phone visits were the option available to seek help for the minor things. Unsure of the official protocols, as it felt like the world was stuck between going back to what was once normal and isolation - I sat next to my son, who was five at the time, like normal. He stared at me for a moment, scooted away and said, "Mom, you have to stay 6 feet apart." As I went to go sit by myself in a chair, I snapped this photo of him looking out the window. It was the first time I ever truly felt that things would never go back to normal.
• 2020-09-02

  The Shaman in Francesco

  When I went to work at Ernst and Young, I thought partners were going to figure out in a New York minute that I didn’t belong there because I lacked the intellectual curiosity, problem-solving talent, communication ability, or any of these characteristics of a professional consultant. I was extremely anxious on my first day. When I entered the Orange County office with its oil paintings hanging in the entryway and its staircase connecting the floor on which consulting Partners had offices to the floor on which audit Partners resided, I knew I didn’t belong there. Then I met Francesco; he was a shaman bearing wise council. I felt at ease instantly. Francesco’s friendship and advice were just what the doctor ordered. On the first project I managed, Francesco worked for me as a member of the consulting team. The Partner we reported to did not like Francesco. He didn’t like his style of communication, his style of dress, nor his accent–Francesco was Chinese-Indonesian. I gave up my integrity by sharing in the Partner’s dislike of Francesco. But my opinion was dishonest. He had been my savior, after all. Role forward six years, and Francesco now works for a small consulting firm I own. Francesco is a loyal consultant in which I confide my innermost emotions. Unfortunately, my consulting firm went through a period of contraction that meant Francesco had to find employment elsewhere. Still, we met regularly to explore opportunities to grow my company so that Francesco and I could work on the same team again. As always, Francesco was a source of limitless ideas and friendship. Francesco passed away on September 2nd, 2020. He was taken from humanity at much too young of an age. He did not succumb to COVID. I don’t even remember how COVID affected me at the time because I was so distraught over Francesco’s passing. I didn’t lose a colleague. I lost a friend.
• 
  2022-12-17

  Been through it all

  I got married on April 4, 2020. We had planned 125 guests. I was so excited to celebrate with everyone. I remember hearing about covid in China in February and thinking that it was so far away I shouldn't worry. While my daughter was on Spring break everything started shutting down. At first it seemed temporary. Like it would just be a week or two. Just until things died down. Then local governments started getting strict as it became apparent how dangerous covid was. As the rules changed, I had to send apologetic emails disinviting guests due to limits on gatherings. We went from 125 to 100. Then it went to 75, 50, and 25. Each time it was agonizing figuring out who would be cut from our wedding. Finally it came down to just our parents, the pastor and his family, and the photographer. I got my wedding dress back from alterations the day the shop closed down to the public. We had the wedding in my parents' backyard. The pastor's children played guitar and sang. Our honeymoon was canceled a few days before the wedding because the small county in the mountains wasn't letting anyone in who wasn't local. We had a staycation for a honeymoon and played video games together.  We are a blended family. I often tell people we got married at the beginning of the pandemic. It was like "Congratulations on your new sister! You'll be with her 24/7 and never get away from her!" They quickly became sisters. They were each other's only playmate. At the same time they irritated each other just like normal siblings. It bonded them as sisters. It was hard for us when my step-daughter started kindergarten in the fall and my daughter started 2nd grade. We had alarms going off all day to try to manage their classroom google calls while my husband and I attempted to work from home. It was very stressful.  My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in December 2020. At times they refused to allow my dad to accompany her to appointments. She was found crying in a hallway unable to get to the correct room. It was awful. I had to be so careful as my kids started hybrid school to not get her sick. It was hard to balance my kids' need for some stability and trying to be with my mom as much as possible. We made the decision to try for another child so my mom had the best chance at meeting her grandchild. I got to share my positive pregnancy test while visiting. It was such a happy moment in the midst of so much sadness. Adding to that stress was a difficult custody battle over my daughter. We couldn't have extra people at court to support me. My husband had to leave early to get the kids from school. Being left at the courthouse after testifying about how my ex abused me was one of the loneliest moments of my life. I had to take a Lyft ride back home and try not to break down in a stanger's car. My mother's condition got worse quickly. We were able to have a family reunion in June. I was nervous about so many people traveling in, but we needed to have mom see family again before something happened. My mom was admitted to the hospital at the beginning of July. I couldn't visit her because of being pregnant and the risk was too high to go to a hospital. My mom and dad supported this and wanted me to keep the baby safe. I had to record a goodbye message to play for her when she was awake. My mom passed on July 5th, 2021. Even at the funeral, I stayed in a separate room and had a friend read the eulogy remarks I prepared.  I had my youngest daughter in February 2022. We were limited on visitors, so only my husband and dad came to the hospital. So many day cares closed in the pandemic, we had a very difficult time finding child care. Despite getting on the list in early pregnancy, we couldn't start at day care until September. We had to use social media to find part time nannies and alter our work hours to cover child care until she could start day care. She actually just tested positive for covid yesterday after another child at daycare was positive earlier in the week. Thankfully she's vaccinated.  I've been through so much since the pandemic. I'm thankful for what I have, I crave rest. I'm worn out. I lost so much. No bridal shower. No honeymoon. No baby shower. No support for happy and sad moments. It's been really hard.
• 
  2022-11-22

  My Annual Newsletter to Friends 2022

  I always send a newsletter at the holidays and share whatever I have been thinking about. I want to keep in touch with friends. My newsletters in 2020, 2021, and 2022 were mostly about the pandemic. I would like now to submit the one for 2022. I already submitted the others.
• 
  2020-06-04

  HIST30060: Loneliness

  The past three years have been incredibly lonely. I've included here a picture of my younger brother on his 18th birthday: a picture I find eerily reminiscent of Edward Hopper's Realist paintings from the 40s and 50s. My brother has always been the most popular person in any room, constantly surrounded by friends, a real party animal. But on his 18th, he was alone (with me and my parents) and couldn't celebrate in the way he would have liked. Since then, he has had a makeup party, but it isn't the same. He also finished high school during this period, and god I feel sorry for the classes of 2020 and 2021. It is easy to be sorry for myself, who has only experienced university through the lens of a post-COVID world, but I was fortunate enough to celebrate my 18th with my friends, finish high-school not on zoom, go to schoolies and travel on a gap year before we were prevented by the pandemic. Poor Sam didn't get any of that, and that really makes me sad.
• 2021-10

  HIST30060: Long Distance friendships

  Throughout the past three years, I've spent much time going back and forth between Sydney and Melbourne (largely unrelated to COVID). I went through a fantastic period where I managed to avoid lockdowns in both states (not on purpose, I promise!), but then I ended up doing both Delta lockdowns in Melbourne and then in Sydney (karma). I've never been more grateful for zoom and facetime so I could keep in touch with my friends no matter where I was.
• 2020-03-22

  HIST30060: A Trip to the Zoo

  I started at Melbourne University in March 2022, moving all the way from Sydney and knowing no one in Melbourne. I quickly made a group of friends at college, but things were still a bit new and awkward - we were in that stage of a new friendship where you are past small talk but not quite at deep and meaningful. Regardless, we decided to take a trip to Melbourne Zoo on the 22nd of March. It was a great day: the sun was shining and the animals were beautiful. We were joking around and it seemed like we were at the start of a really exciting and close friendship. In the early afternoon, I got a phone call from mum. News had been trickling in over the past month of COVID cases and deaths in Australia, but we still weren't entirely sure how seriously to take the disease, and we were clueless about how it would change our lives. On the phone, mum asked if I had been reading the news. Of course I hadn't. She told me that all non-essential services would be shut down, and that it was likely going to get more strict as the week went on. "I think you should come home. Uni will be online anyway." The next day, I was on a plane back to Sydney, after only having spent 22 days at college. Never fear, though, I was sure it'd all be over soon.
• 
  2022-10-10

  HIST30068 China’s Zero Covid Policy Story 4

  A door in the neighbourhood is nailed, to stop people with positive cases from going outside. I found it a bit uncomfortable, and I really feel sorry for the people inside.
• 
  2020-03-20

  Letter from Mum

  With lots of extra time to spare during the lockdowns, my Mum started writing letters to me as a way to share news. This was a lovely way to stay in touch between Australia and New Zealand, although by the time the letters made it through the very very slow postal system they were weeks out of date. This particular letter from the very start of the pandemic captures the novelty and chaos of the situation very well -- most events are starting to be cancelled, the border between NZ and AU has shut, and everyone is slowly coming to terms with what's happening.
• 
  2021-10-22

  "Freedom Day"

  This photo was taken just after midnight on October 22 2021, after the end of Melbourne's final lockdown. With the curfew lifted and fewer restrictions on leaving home we took the opportunity to come out at midnight and celebrate. This photo captures the excitement of the moment, which finally felt like we coming to the end of the most difficult period of the pandemic.
• 
  2022-10-30

  Silenced voices of the commoner

  The recent Covid-19 pandemic has had immense local and global ramifications, especially for us Victorians who have experienced the world’s longest lockdowns. It was a significant worldwide event which will certainly be looked back upon by future generations, just as we have analysed previous historical diseases, such as the bubonic plague. But how should archivists determine which sources, and likewise which voices should be permanently preserved within the historical record? Traditionally, an archive is a collection of documents that archivists have selected to be permanently preserved as sources for future historical or other forms of research. Initially, only scholars with an ambition to conduct historical research had access to archives, but their digitisation and free nature have ensured that anyone is able to access the documents they contain online. However, the process of creating both physical and digital archives is inherently flawed. Archivists have a formidable power to evaluate which sources are “worthy of inclusion”, and simultaneously which ones are not; essentially what compromises the historical record. Therefore, although archivists are characterised as unbiased and impartial individuals, they are inextricably influenced by “societal biases” in their decision-making, as they simply have to select what they personally believe will have value to future researchers. It has culminated in them privileging and prioritising the voices of individuals within positions power, which has indefinitely created “gaps within the historical record” through inhibiting the voices of those without it. Rodney G.S. Carter echoes the problem in asserting that the existence of archival “silences” is the “manifestation of the actions of the powerful”, which has a substantial impact on how marginalised groups produce and likewise form both social history and memory. Ariella Aïsha Azoulay has cautioned readers that “digital archives are no exception”. With this in mind, if we consider the 19-month impact of the pandemic upon Victoria, I am certain that archivists will acknowledge the voices of those within positions of power when determining what sources should be preserved. Of particular importance would be those of primary actors that shaped Victoria’s lockdown experience, most importantly the protagonist of the lockdowns, Premier Daniel Andrews (fig.1). Figure 1. Video of Premier announcing sixth lockdown, cited in Patrick Durkin, “’Recuring nightmare’: Victoria’s snap lockdown is the ‘new normal,’” Financial Review, August 5, 2021, URL: https://www.afr.com/policy/economy/very-concerned-victoria-faces-lockdown-after-eight-new-cases-20210805-p58g3o. I am aware of the threat of “information overload” both real and digital archives currently face with an abundance of available sources, but I would argue that the preservation of major political statements alongside previously supressed voices would be beneficial to any archive created surrounding the Victorian Covid-19 experience. A consideration of the experiences of marginalised voices would be imperative to a future historian, as it would enrich historiography by offering insight into the social-political dynamics of the event, and its psychological impact beyond official government and political documents. I will now consider the value of this “bottom-up approach” in capturing the Victorian pandemic experience from the viewpoint of the common man, me, a historically marginalised group within the realm of archives. I personally wasn’t too concerned about the first lockdown and its stage three and four restrictions as they would “flatten the curve” of infectious cases, providing our health system with the best opportunity to tackle the fast-spreading virus. Life as we know it changed though with only four reasons to leave home; shopping, exercise, caregiving, and work. The café I worked at had to shift to “take away only”, as many others (fig.2). Figure 2. The Food Republic Café, “covid update for customers,” Blackburn, March 23, 2020, URL: https://www.facebook.com/thefoodrepubliccafe. I was still able to work alongside my barista colleague and friend Max which was pretty good, and I was able to perfect my coffee artwork (fig.3). Figure 3. The Food Republic Café, “promotional post during lockdown 1” Blackburn, April 8, 2020, URL: https://www.facebook.com/thefoodrepubliccafe. I was also able to continue exercising and riding my bike, but I wasn’t able to see or visit any friends or family, which initially seemed like a fair sacrifice to make for the health and wellbeing of all Victorians (fig.4). Figure 4. George Vesnaver, Selfie on bike ride, April 10, 2020, photograph, Main Yarra Trail, Melbourne. However, after being continuously plunged in and out of lockdowns by the time the sixth one came about, I was very angry to say the least as representative within my covid journal entry (fig. 5). Figure 5. George Vesnaver, Covid Journal Entry, October 27, 2022, photograph, Kew East, Melbourne. Laura A. Millar’s observation that “the concept of evidence” must be broadened as opposed to its current restrictive and rigid format adopted by archivists has reaffirmed my belief that my experience and that of other regular people should not be forgotten. My sources may just seem like information to an archivist because of their form, but they are filled with evidence of this historic moment. Their eternal preservation within an archive would serve anyone wanting to write about the Victorian Covid-19 experience in the foreseeable future. For example, figure 2. would enable one to see how government information was disseminated via social media; the confirming and likewise conforming of political decisions. Figure 3. would reveal the way in which people adapted to Victoria’s first initial lockdown via humour, helping us remember attitudes towards the past event. Figure 4. would showcase a sense of normality during unprecedented times, through an ability to continue exercising. But most importantly the response depicted in figure 5. towards figure 1., a first-hand account of the psychological impact of the endless lockdowns instigated by those with political powers. Winston Churchill once said that “history is written by the victors”, so considering those with and without power survived the pandemic it seems only fair that all our voices should be recognised in the historical record.
• 
  2021-08-08

  Revisiting the family archives - HIST30060

  In isolation, I found myself coming closer to my family. I was living in Melbourne at the time, away from my home in Tasmania, but maintained constant connection via video calling and messaging my family. One way I connected with home was by sharing old photos with my sister. This is one she sent me while I was in lockdown. It was taken around 2008. Trawling through thousands of old photos was an easy way to keep occupied during lockdowns, and I’m partially glad that COVID gave me the free time to do so as it was a fun way to bond with family and massage out the homesickness.
• 
  2021-09-16

  Escaping Melbourne - HIST30060

  This is a picture of Melbourne Airport (Tullamarine)’s Terminal 4. I flew out of Melbourne to get home to Tasmania just days before rising cases of the Delta variant forced state governments to shut borders once again. I remember the surreal feeling of passing through the airport then. Without the rush of people, the place felt gigantic. My eyes, typically drawn towards the way I needed to go, were able to refocus towards the ceilings, pillars and billboards. It felt like standing in a cathedral. As I was dwarfed by the sheer size of the terminal, I reflected on how COVID was reshaping billions of lives and world history as a whole too.
• 
  2021-07-23

  Vaccination Cards - HIST30060

  These are vaccination cards, little pieces of cardboard given to you after a COVID vaccination to both remind you of when your next dose is due and to prove that you got the jab. Legal proof was a major part of the COVID pandemic and perhaps one of its most frustrating parts. I despised incessantly needing to prove that I was vaccinated and without any COVID-like symptoms to do everyday tasks like shopping, visiting the doctor or going to my classes. To make it all easier, I kept these cards as proof of my vaccination. I also kept them as a souvenir. I was cognisant of the fact that we were living through an event which would alter the course of world history, although I didn’t know how. I thought that they would be a nice piece of material history to show people when they ask what living through the pandemic was like.
• 
  2020-08-18

  HIST30060: Negative Test Result

  This is a screenshot of a negative PCR test result from August 2020. At this time, test results would typically take 24 hours to process, with the government requiring that the patient isolate until they received the result of their test. I, like most residents in Melbourne, suffered a profound emotional impact from the bombardment of public messaging about the pandemic. The advertising campaigns by the state government as well as opinions expressed on social media suggested that a failure to follow health protocols would result in tremendous negative effects. For example, failing to get tested could be the reason that someone's grandmother died from exposure to the pandemic. With such high stakes attached to my everyday behaviour and compliance to health orders, whenever I felt even slightly unwell, it would trigger a barrage of intense anxiety. The health order to self-isolate for a week after a positive test result, as well as the Andrews governments' policy of reopening contingent on the number of positive test results in the community, further increased anxiety around any form of cold symptoms. To the day, this image evokes feelings of fear and relief. Something so mundane as a text message represented either a ticket to freedom or a binding health order. In this case, the text message represented a reassurance that my sickness was the regular, boring sort, and that I was not an accidental killer of grandmothers. It represents the use of everyday technology, both sophisticated and mundane, in the pandemic response.
• 
  2022-09-10

  My feelings on the Coronavirus Pandemic

  • I am by Profession a Part-time Instructor of Creative Writing. I received my master’s degree in creative Writing from Concordia University. Right now, sine the Coronavirus crisis hit, I have been a full-time Stay-at-Home Mom with our two lovely daughters, Emily 8 and Lisa 10! They have been having the hardest time since the Coronavirus Situation hit our Country. Many times, Emily will say to me ‘Mommy, I’m scared, when will this crisis end? I’m Sorry, because I really don’t know what to say to her, at that age!! When I was a little girl, we didn’t have to face such a crisis! The closest thing we had was in 1961, to hide under our school desks, during siren drills! • Mentally, lately I have, personally been having frequent bouts of Severe Depression, whereby I feel like crying a lot, but my daughters and my husband, Dennis, kisses me, comforts me and tells me not to Worry!! • My Father-in-Law has recently been admitted to the hospital, after he began having severe stomach pains, after helping my Mother-In-Law to lift several boxes of heavy furniture! He was in the hospital for a series of Tests, after which it was discovered that he had damaged his Kidneys and 1-2 months of Intense Physical Therapy, combined with daily Anti-Biotics! A Group of Ladies that I belong to at my Church, have been commenting, “Boy Melissa, you simply don’t seem like your Cheerful, jolly, Loving self, are you sure you are alright?? Is there anything that We can do to help you and Dennis? • I typically work Outside-the-Home, but lately, because of our two daughters, I have chosen to work remotely from Home! But their smiles 😉 make it all worthwhile!! • My Husband and I are both, definitely practicing Social Distancing!! My girlfriends All Admire the ‘Courage-Of-My-Conviction!’ They tell Me Openly that they feel that I AM TRULY ONE OF THE BRAVEST WOMEN THAT THEY KNOW!! Although Dennis and I have to frequently visit his parents only via Skype! This is often-times distressing! • Because of this, We hardly-Ever, if Ever, Go Outside Our Home, so We have had to cancel Running of All Errands, and We absolutely do no Travelling and Outside trips, (Except the get-the-mail), and So we Obviously pursue All of Our Leisure, Social Activities, and all such Celebrations like Thanksgiving, and Christmas, on-line via Zoom! • Personally, I Definitely think that the Government could have done a lot more in the wake of this Covid-19 GLOBAL PANDEMIC. Of course, I am relieved now that we are going to have a Wonderful New Administration in Washington, D.C.! I just hope to-GOD THAT THEY DO NOT “TAKE THEIR EYES OFF THE BALL!!” • As the Mother of two young girls, it pains me very much so just think about ‘what kind of future my daughters are going to have, if we fail once again to ‘Nip this crisis in the bud’? • Definitely, I am hopeful that as a World Community, we will all be coming much closer together!! This makes me smile too!
• 
  2020-10-08

  “Zoomed to Death”: Here’s the Science Behind Zoom Fatigue

  Students all over Australia experienced struggles with the pandemic affected learning environments, one of the most challenging at the a University of Melbourne was the use of Zoom calls for learning and how it impacted motivation to learn and overall fatigue.
• 2020

  A year of recovery

  Our adult son died of cancer at the end of 2018. We were devastated. Our lives were disrupted and upended, while everyone else went on as if everything was normal. Anyone who has lost a family member or friend knows what this is like. Way too many people found out in 2020 what that is like. In 2020, other people were inconvenienced. A lot. I’ll acknowledge that it was tough on everyone, but it’s nothing compared to losing a loved one. When we realized that the pandemic disruption really didn’t faze us, we realized that we were going to be OK. We had faced the unbearable; this was trivial by comparison. So was losing my job. We were privileged that 2020 and 2021 gave us a chance to reset, to recharge, to reboot. To make ends meet, I now work and live on another continent, away from my wife. It’s incredibly difficult. We’ve dealt with worse situations. We’ll be OK.
• 
  2020-03-21

  Education changed

  It was my first year teaching middle school history. I was bright-eyed, excited, and felt like I had finally found my calling in life. I went into spring break with such an excited feeling about my new career path. Coming from retail, I could finally have time to spend with my family and not have to worry about making a quota. Then the email came. We would be moving to distance learning and I would not get the chance to finish my first year as an educator with my first group of kids. The sound I most remember was the Google Meets login when someone joined. That sound will forever be associated with the pandemic. The sound I had never heard before became the sound that brought me joy as I was finally able to make sure my students were okay. I remember that sound and immediately checking to see who was logging in. It brought mixed feelings of compassion, empathy, and sadness. Even as we started to get back into the classroom, nothing would ever be the same as it once was. But that sound, that one quick sound, brought on the emotions of this educator. And I hope I will never have to hear that sound again.
• 
  2020-08-08

  Relearning to Cook

  I have loved to cook for as long as I can remember, but I had a few rough years and stopped cooking. With the onset of stay-at-home orders for the COVID-19 Pandemic, I went from 60-hour work weeks between my two jobs to nothing. My mind and hands were itching to do something, anything. As many of the grocery stores started to have supply shortages and I now had a much more limited budget; I had to get creative. So, I began to cook. I started slowly with fancy coffee drinks and eggs and moved to bread and pasta. Nationally people were baking bread so I thought well I’ve got the time I might as well try. What started as something I had learned to dread suddenly became my day’s highlight. I was cooking again! The dance of moving through my small kitchen. The clank of pots and pans and knives and wooden spoons in metal bowls playing in time to Otis Redding. The joy of tasting a recipe and nailing both the flavors and the serving size (many recipes serve 4-6, I live alone). It was truly a full-body experience. I soon realized that I hadn’t repeated any meals in about two weeks and decided to challenge myself to go as long as possible without repeating a recipe, if a meal required a repeat that portion simply didn’t count in my tally. I ended up making over 225 different recipes.
• 
  2021-02

  Hoping for Good Days

  It was several months since my last day in a classroom. March 13, 2020 to be exact. Friday the 13th. The previous school year we were told it was to be a possible 2 week break that ended up going until the end of the year. What was to become of the next school year of 2020-21? I tried to stay optimistic over the summer and enjoy the time spent with family. We were lucky to have each other and have a yard and house where we felt safe to be quarantined. I knew a lot of my students were not so lucky in that they lived in apartments with several family members. Still I wanted to be optimistic about the upcoming year. As the start of school year date got closer, it was apparent we were to continue online teaching via zoom. I felt I was pretty tech savvy and could integrate technology enough to keep my students engaged, but it was still challenging. I taught incoming freshman 9th grade students. They did not get the “new students” experience of coming to my school and meeting and greeting all the faculty and each other. Initially the expectation was to have all students have cameras on, and for the most part in that Fall semester, my students did. But then towards the break students started getting sick, parents were losing their jobs, some even lost family members. People were sad. We barely made it into the winter break with students attending “online”. I was fortunate to have most of my students log in but in other classes students stopped showing up. And if they did log in, cameras were off and it felt like talking to a void. Were they still paying attention? Were some of them just logging in and doing other things like playing video games or sleeping? I was frustrated, but also empathetic knowing for a lot of these students survival, not academics, was their priority during the time. After the winter break and a return to zoom teaching, it was a palpable sadness. There were people who had lost loved ones, and my students were depressed. I could feel the grief and sorrow through the screen and sometimes I would weep after my classes ended for the day. I had to maintain a persona of optimism for my students online and also keep encouraging their academic pursuits. I have never had such a challenging teaching year like the 2020-21 year. The sensory experience I am recalling is sometime in February of 2021. It was the second semester of school, back from the break and many people had a rough time of the holiday season with loneliness, fear, and loss. I don't know how I came up with the idea but I thought about students sharing playlists with the class. I would review them, and if we had a test together on zoom I would play songs on the background. One particular song I found was “Good Days” by SZA. It was not my style of music, but I knew it was what my students listened to. The day I played that song I started to get a lot of feedback from the zoom chat from all my classes about that song. By this time a majority of students had stopped showing themselves on camera and/or stopped talking, however Good Days sparked something in my students. The intro of the song is very melodic and serene. It is one of those songs that sounds very sweet, but is very sad at the same time. I could tell by the response of my students that it hit a nerve. A few of them began to speak up again in class, a few would turn their camera on again. And of course, I had several sending messages after class thanking me for the song. This happy/sad song connected me again to my students that I thought I had lost over winter break. It gave me a little hope again, and I think it gave some of them hope too. Now, whenever I hear Good Days by Sza it reminds me of those lonely online zoom classes in February and how we were all feeling a bit sad, but a simple song gave us all a bit of hope that the future was to have some Good Days ahead. Lyrics to Good Days All the while, I'll await my armored fate with a smile Still wanna try, still believe in (good days) Good days, always (good days) Always inside (always in my mind, always in my mind, mind) Good day living in my mind
• 
  2020-03

  Bells Continued to Ring

  When the pandemic began, I was finishing up my last few months of student teaching. My mornings included talking to students about their day and weekend plans they had; however, once the pandemic started that changed drastically. The students were gone and the silence began. Highschools are customarily, a loud and busy environment; yet, overnight the students were gone and there was nothing at school but silence. The halls were empty, my classroom was empty, the whole school was empty apart from a small group of staff. For the rest of the year, I would go to school and sit in my classroom alone in almost complete silence. No face to face interaction with students or even other staff. As a teacher, this was taxing on my mental health. From one day to the next my entire occupation had been flipped upside down. I never saw my students again. I still wonder what became of them. The one thing that sticks in my mind from that period is the sound of dismissal bells at school. For some reason the bells continued to ring even though there were no students. Everyday when that first hour bell would ring I would remember that no students were coming. This was a reminder everyday that the world had changed. I recorded the sound of dismissal bells at my highschool. Two years after the pandemic started, this sound still reminds me of teaching during the pandemic.
• 2022-06-26

  Flying with Disease

  Flying home from a tournament, where my team suffered defeat after defeat, I was not aware of much outside of my muscle aches, my mental and emotional exhaustion, and the bitter taste of failure in my mouth. The first twenty minutes of the flight was uneventful, just the occasional cry of a child, the subtle rock of the plane in turbulence, the dim light by which I read my book. Soon, as the turbulence died down, and the child fell asleep in the arms of its mother, every single person on the plane became distinctly aware of the continuous coughing of a lady wearing her mask. I had forgotten to grab one for the flight home, despite every intention of wearing one, and nobody else on the flight had one. Conversations noticeably died down as the coughing continued, and even seemed to get more frequent and intense. I put down my book, donned my headphones, and tried to watch a movie to drown out the noise. People shot furtive glances at the lady in question, all of us wondering from the sound of her cough, if she had Covid. The more I heard it, the angrier I felt, and the more afraid I got. I am an athlete and young, so would likely be fine if I caught Covid. However, my girlfriend and little sister are both high risk, and I did not want to risk exposing them. I managed to calm myself as to not make a scene, worthless at this point tens of thousands of feet in the air. I could not know the situation of the lady, whether she had a choice to be on this flight, or had to return home, attend a funeral, or whatever other reasons she may have had to go on a flight, sick, while there was a global pandemic. All I can tell you is that from the sounds of uncomfortable shifting in seats, the murmurs pointed at the lady, and the otherwise silence of the formerly talkative plane, nobody felt entirely safe or comfortable. I ended up catching Covid-19, and unknowingly giving it to my girlfriend who I live with. Despite having to take her to the hospital briefly, we both ended up fine. Whether our cases of Covid were from the lady on the plane or somebody else, I will never know. But the sound of incessant coughing during this pandemic still has the same effect wherever I go, creating a perceptible unease.
• 
  0022-08-18

  Hearing Aids

  In the audio-file I tried to manipulate the sounds to reflect some of the ways I interpret the world as a Hard of Hearing woman during the Covid-19 pandemic. I want the listener to be able to feel the frustration as they listen and try to understand the story. The pandemic has forced many of us to adapt. This is my story.
• 
  2020-03-11

  The Smell of "Clean"

  How I personally remember the pandemic is mainly through the olfactory sense. The smell of bleach and Lysol filled just about every public area during the time of the pandemic, and many things spent more time than needed being disinfected with bleach water. The smell of Lysol makes me feel a bit in despair since it is so heavily linked to a very lonely and sad time in the world. The smell of bleach makes me feel a bit ill now, even three years later. I had only ever used bleach for cleaning while at work, disinfecting changing tables and toys, but now I remember it as a time of sadness and sickness. The idea of "clean" will likely never be what it was years ago, and the population will probably never be able to live well knowing the existence of germs.
• 
  2020-03-29

  Homemade Food Tasted Different During the Breakout of COVID-19.

  I have a love for baking and cooking which takes up lots of my time when I'm not doing schoolwork. I love trying new and exciting recipes because food from different parts of the world is like a new historical experience. I was a sophomore in college when the pandemic caused us to go into lockdown. We had just come back from spring break, and I remember getting an email saying that we would be moved to online instruction for the remainder of the semester. I was scared because it really hit me that school would not be the same ever again. Luckily, I did not get COVID, but my dad almost died from it. Everyone in my house was separated which meant I had no social life due to not being able to talk to anyone. I turned to baking as a way for me to not think about my sick dad. I basically lived upstairs from my parents. Whatever I made, I would leave for them on the steps to take. Even though my food was delicious, I lost a sense of taste because I wasn't enjoying it with anyone. Food is about culture and people; they go hand in hand. When you don't have that sense it changes how you feel on a social level. When you cook, you want people to enjoy what you're making.
• 
  2022-07-12

  Email to project coordinator of SMhopes

  I hope Santa Monica will use its resources to clean up the streets from urine and feces instead of covering it up with art. A good power wash plus a lawsuit against LA county for wasting our tax money that was supposed to go to affordable housing would make me much happier than beautiful art in a smelly street. COVID made this worse. Art won't make it better. Please do something. Anything.
• 
  2020-04

  2020 Planner

  This bullet journal, titled "Keep It Together," was created fresh after moving states in January of 2020. January through February are well organized, with the planner I drew out having individual days, and places for grocery lists, to-do lists and monthly goals. Even March keeps the same energy, stretching into the beginning of the pandemic, but April comes with a great shift. What was once a detailed planner has lost any sense of time, becoming an amalgamation of grocery lists for vague weeks, stream-of-consciousness poetry, and abandoned bullet lists of brainstorming what to do with my life...only for the journal to snap back into focus at the end of July, continuing its main function as a planner, what with less frills than before. This mirrors my own experience in 2020, as April-July was the period of time I spent alone, living in a new city, working at a fast food job that did not stop when the rest of the world did. I felt very much like my journal, unmoored and adrift, until a change in job and living situation and deciding to go back to school helped bring me some sense of purpose again.
• 
  2020-06-11

  Effects of Covid in 2020

  I started college to attain my Bachelors degree in 2014, despite setbacks and working a number of part time jobs along the way I successfully graduated in 2020. Unfortunately 3 months into my final semester the world was put on pause In a way. Everyone across the world was asked to quarantine, to limit physical contact, and not gather in large crowds. Years of yearning for the recognition of graduating in front of my friends and family as I walked across the stage to get my diploma became a mere dream in my head. My graduation took place digitally and while I am grateful for the recognition and fully aware of the circumstance the world was under, it is still something I wish I had experienced in my life. The pandemic put many events on hold but I surely wish the events that transpired weren't so poorly timed and that I experienced the recognition of graduating in pre pandemic era.
• 
  2022-07-24

  Fear for My Mother's Saefty

  I've written a short story centered around my experience with fear of this virus, particularly focusing on how my fear is heighten with an immuno-compromised mother. I wrote about how the media the people around me consumed affected their behavior and played a role within my fear and the impact it had on my mother. This story says two things about this pandemic I think: it shows the impact that information had/has on how people approach the virus and the emotional toll the pandemic had on people living their daily lives. What I've submitted is important because it validates what Americans have experienced. Many Americans
• 
  2020

  Daily Entries

  The three index card entries represent our emotions and actions at the start of the pandemic. I came back home from school to live with my mom so we relied on one another for emotional support. The shared journal helped us record our daily activities, take note of our current state of minds, and allowed us to 'take it one day at a time.' The act of writing down our movements (or lack thereof) and accomplishments (ranging from submitting my thesis to making sweet potato fries) helped us recognize that time was passing and that good days were approaching. We continued to write in our shared spiral journal for about 6 months. The entries are important to me because they reflect how my mom and I were feeling at a very uncertain and unique time in history. While I don't feel comfortable reading through them all just yet, I'm excited for the day when enough time has passed and I can reflect on the months in isolation in an objective manner.
• 
  2021-12-20

  And a Happy New Year

  My boyfriend and I had visited his parents over our Christmas Holiday from college. They had just recently gotten back from Hawaii, so they had travelled through several airports to get to and from Baton Rouge. Despite my boyfriend and I being vaccinated and wearing masks around his family, we came to find out that his mother had COVID (she is a staunch anti-vaxxer). Not one week after our visit, my boyfriend and I both tested positive. We spent Christmas and New Years holed up in our tiny apartment, feeling guilty that we had been to our respective works and to visit my relatives without knowing we were positive. His mother is still suffering from COVID complications, nearly eight months after originally having it. I'll never understand why people assume that public health and health education are a hoax. It could have saved everyone a lot of time and effort and suffering if the truth about vaccinations wasn't barraged by misinformation and public hysteria.
• 
  2022-07-20

  Graduating in A Pandemic

  Disclaimer: I understand that my story is not as unique or impactful as others. Many people's lives were ruined beyond repair. My derailment is quite insignificant when compared to the devastation of others. It is however, my story, and I have decided to share it anyway. Perhaps it will add to the narrative of why recent graduates are struggling the way they are. In May of 2021, I graduated from one of the top public universities in the United States with honors, distinction, a 4.0 GPA, and the outstanding senior award for my department. Despite the pandemic, there was still an expectation to do great things. All of my professors, friends, and family constantly told me what an exciting future I had ahead of me. The pandemic had other plans. All of the graduate programs I had decided to apply to were not accepting applicants due to the pandemic. They did not have the funding or ability to allow new graduate students to conduct research. Instead I tried to apply to jobs within my field, but because their buildings were closed to the public, they were letting people go, not hiring on. Without scholarship money or a well paying job, I could no longer afford my apartment. Many of my friends had moved back into their parents house and I thought to do the same. Unfortunately, like many other couples during the pandemic, the forced proximity had made my parents' house volatile. I could not move home, because my parents decided to move across the country and get a divorce. I tried to move in with my paternal grandparents, but my grandma was to ill. She ended up dying that summer. After a summer of floating around, living out of my car and random family members houses, I moved in with my maternal grandparents. At this point I felt miserable. It seemed like my entire life had fallen apart in the span of two months. I went from the top of my class, a bright future ahead of me to working minimum wage. Just as I was beginning to feel like I was back on solid ground after moving in with my maternal grandparents, my grandfather died too. I felt cursed. A year later, I am working an amazing job within my field, living in a condo with friends, and on track to receive a master's degree this winter. Things are finally looking up, but I don't know if I will ever fully emotionally recover from living through this pandemic.
• 
  2020-03-12

  Little Did We Know

  This is a Tik Tok video from my sister’s account of her documenting the day we were sent home from school. In the video, she’s telling her viewers that school has been cancelled for three weeks, due to the rise in COVID-19 cases across the globe. This video says a lot about the pandemic, because personally I felt that the closing of schools and businesses for the sake of quarantine was a really defining moment of the pandemic. There haven’t been many moments/ pandemics in history that have provoked the closing of institutions, so the fact that this happened says a lot about the magnitude of the situation. This personal account also says a lot about the pandemic, because similarly to my sister in the video, at the beginning of COVID-19 many people were scared and unaware of how long this pandemic would ensue. I feel this video captures her reaction very well.
• 
  2022-07-08

  Box Office: How ‘Minions 2’ Brings The Covid Era To An Optimistic Close

  This is a news story from Forbes by Scott Mendelson. This is an article that discusses the moviegoing habits of people pre and post-COVID. The article mentions that Minions: The Rise of Gru and Top Gun: Maverick were meant to come out in 2020, but they were delayed because of COVID. Due to the high amounts of attendance to both films, the author is speculating that audience members that may have forgone streaming new movies are coming back to theaters. The box office gross for both films has broken records. Given my own experience of going to the movies recently since COVID began, I noticed that even though I did see signs about masks, it was never enforced, and restrictions were pretty much non-existent. I delayed going to the theaters in-person partly due to not finding many new releases interesting enough, in addition to not wanting to deal with masks while watching. I think that less restrictions make the experience more appealing now than during COVID, as movie tickets have been getting more expensive over the years. In can be hard to justify the steep prices with the restrictions in place that could make it less comfortable. My own experience that I had made it feel like it was the pre-COVID era, and that made it something I enjoyed. I think that given the snacks people eat at theaters, it would have been cumbersome to have to take the mask off and put it on again with eating. If I had to do that, I probably would not have wanted to get any snacks with those restrictions in place, and theaters generally make more revenue from refreshments than they do showing the movie itself. I think that the author is right that the high gross of both films mean that the "summer movie" is returning to what it once was, with audiences that may have been lost during COVID coming back.
• 
  2022-07-02

  Taking Care of My Grandma During COVID

  This is a story of taking care of my grandma during COVID. A lot of the time I was employed as a caretaker for my grandma overlapped with the height of COVID.
• 
  2022-06-25

  Do not inject your child without research

  This is a tweet from NealJ4USA. This person has decided not to vaccinate their children after having done some research on the subject. Due to distrust in the COVID vaccine, it is also making this person feel more hesitant about any other vaccines that end up getting pushed.
• 
  2022-06-25

  Learn how the government works

  This is a tweet by StabbyandSpicy. This person is expressing their frustrations over their mom getting COVID, and the Supreme Court decision on Roe v. Wade being overturned.
• 
  2022-06-25

  I FINALLY got my second Pfizer covid booster shot!

  This is a tweet from bobbicallie. This person is announcing the joy they have in receiving their second COVID booster shot. They are also worried about long COVID, so despite getting the vaccine booster shots, this person has decided to continue wearing a mask.
• 
  -2020-09-29

  My feelings on the Coronavirus Pandemic

  I have come to this platform as the stay-at-home mom of 2 adorable little girls, Emily 8 and Sara 11, who are simply the loves of my life, during the gut-wrenching time, last year, of the Coronavirus Pandemic! I also teach Part-time at Concordia University in the Department of Women's Studies and Journalism! :) I could never have done this without the genuine love and kind-support of my loving husband Dennis, throughout our 43 years together! :)
• 
  2022-06-13

  And then they weren't neighbors

  I wrote this story about an elderly man who lost his wife in war and suffers from PTSD. He then hears then news about Covid-19 and becomes more isolated because his family is worried about giving him Covid since he is more susceptible to dying. However, as he is getting lonely he realizes his neighbors are abusing their son, so he decides to adopt the little boy. This is to show how domestic abuse became worse with Covid-19 and how some neighbors were able to connect more than before. Finally he catches Covid and passes away, leaving the boy alone again. However, it ends with the elderly man and his wife as angels together. The objective is to show that death is inevitable, with or without Covid-19, but Covid-19 has made many people's lives a lot harder with the added struggle of financial burden, loneliness, and family struggles.
• 
  2022-06-11

  Do we have to go out again?

  I am an anxious person. Before covid it took all my energy to get up in the morning, put on decent clothes, go to school, meet with friends, go to restaurants. The lockdown was the best thing that ever happened to me. My best buddy moved in with me and my family, my classes went online, I slept more, I gamed all the time, we got takeout. Now I'm being invited places. I have to reinsert. I miss covid.
• 
  -0022-06-11

  lossing loved ones during a pandemic

  During this pandemic I was just getting adjusted to becoming a student again. I invested into some music equipment to provide my son and my nephew an outlet and something that could keep them occupied. The pandemic forced me to not be around my nephew and other family members. During September 2020 my nephew’s life was taken due to violence. This crushed my spirit and I felt like a failure. I lost two people I love ❤️during this pandemic my mother in January 2022 and my nephew. We were forced in isolation and could not spend quality time with each other.
• 
  2022-01-13

  Addressing Trauma from COVID-19 on Students and Teachers

  COVID-19 has had a huge impact on both students and teachers. Not only has there been learning gaps, but there has also been an impact on the social and emotional well-being of teachers and students. Many experts now say that these issues need to be addressed before focusing more on academics.
• 
  2022-02-01

  More than Half of Teachers Looking to Quit Due to COVID

  According to a poll given by the National Education Association, 55% of teachers who participated feel burned out enough from COVID-19 to quit. Some of the reasons that COVID-19 has caused additional stress for teachers is due to student behavior, additional responsibilities, and longer hours.
• 
  2022-05-21

  I wear a mask in public for three reasons

  This is an Instagram post by spacegrd. This is an infographic on why someone would choose to wear a mask. The three reasons are: humility, kindness, and community.
• 
  2021-08-10

  Get vaccinated so I can communicate again.

  Caption to post: As I’m sure you’ve seen and experienced, mask mandates are starting to come back. In stores, offices, and on my college campus as well. As a person with hearing loss, masks make it so difficult me for me to communicate. I rely so heavily on lipreading, seeing how the mouth moves when speaking, to understand what is said. Without lipreading, my speech recognition is around 16%. This means with masks, I can only absorb 16% of all interactions - that is incredibly isolating. When I go back to the classroom in September, it’s going to be so difficult to navigate the classroom setting when I can’t understand anyone. My teachers will have clear masks provided, but what about during group work or when students ask questions that I might also have? I’m going to completely miss out on the college experience I’ve been longing for for a year and a half because people won’t get vaccinated. I’m tired of disclosing my hearing loss to check out at a store. I’m tired of constantly fighting for closed captioning for online lectures. I’m tired of living in a pandemic where we have a solution to end it. Vaccines work. Vaccines save lives. Getting the vaccine means you’re helping deaf and hard of hearing people get back to a place where they can communicate again. SAVE this post and SHARE to spread awareness. This topic is NOT talked about enough and it’s something that affects the deaf and hard of hearing community every single day. ID IN COMMENTS
• 
  2020-07

  Apparently I Have Opinions About Hand Sanitizer Now?

  I graduated with my bachelor's degree in April 2020, shortly after my state began heavy COVID-19 shut downs. The plans I had for my career took an unexpected pause. After several months, I finally found work at a local convenience store as a cashier. To accommodate heightened concerns about hygiene and sanitation, we had several bottles of hand sanitizer set up around the checkout areas for both customers and employees. I didn't know how different hand sanitizer brands could be. I suspect that the sudden demand for it during the pandemic must have led to cheaper, lower quality versions being distributed more widely, but our hand sanitizer was the worst. If you pressed the lid of the bottle, you would suddenly find your hands full of a large, unwieldy blob of what felt like elmer's glue and smelled somewhere between a rotten banana and a doctor's office. Try as you might to rub it away, you would inevitable be left with sticky residue all over your hands until you washed them. I guess in that sense it was an effective sanitizer in that it probably made a lot of people actually wash their hands. I no longer work at the gas station, but every time I think of that first COVID summer and that job that I was both so thankful and a little disappointed to have, I think of the feeling of that hand sanitizer.
• 
  2022-05-27

  A Quiet Workplace

  This is to describe the sensory changes I experienced when I visited my employer's main office during the lockdown.