Items
Subject is exactly
Emotion
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April 8th, 2020
Find the positive in the negative
Its a message to viewers to get closer with your family while in lockdown as a positive while going through a tough time -
February 13th, 2023
Status of Mental Health During Lockdown
I was overwhelmed and stress when we went to online classes. The photo I posted is a representation of how I felt during that time -
2020-08-05
Only Student on Campus: My First and Second Year at College
The item that I am submitting describes my life as a student throughout my senior year of high school toward my first year of college. I emphasized the feeling of being alone and dealing with the college on a fully virtual level. As months passed it was important to validate the experience and the growth from being in an online setting to an in-person setting. -
2020-04
Saved
The pandemic has not only been a devastating experience but a time of reflection. -
March 13, 2020
unbeknownst emptiness
I worked/attended CUNY Hunter College during the start of the pandemic. On March 13, 2020, we were informed that we would not be returning to work until further notice, and I believe that a majority of late-night classes/activities were cancelled. As a result, my friend/coworker and I walked around the near-empty campus. We ended up sneaking into an empty lecture hall, ate some snacks, and chatted about the future. I took a photo of our feet up on the seats as a sort of fun memento, to show how crazy it looked to see ourselves amongst the empty hall, and when a coworker asked where we are, we sent them that. The photo meant almost nothing at the time and was just a casual photo I took amongst many in my every day. Looking back now, it holds nostalgia as well as dread. I think the emptiness shows what was to come, and how terrifying it would be, and just how impactful the pandemic was on our lives. I have not stepped foot in Hunter since then, so that was truly my last time being in that school. It makes me sad and makes me think what the future would have held had these events not happened. -
2022-03
Yesteryear
Yesteryear is the product of pent up anxiety, confusion, loss, depression and hopelessness, painted in 2022. It is how I would describe life before and after Covid-19. Separated into two pieces the anterior canvas is multicolored, to represent the carefree state of life. It can represents the high points in my life pre-pandemic, inclusive of freedom and family. The oil protrudes in some parts and is flat in others signifying the highs and lows of everyday life. The posterior canvas is quite the opposite if viewed closely, some of the colors used in the painting above have been covered in dark colors. It is smooth to the touch. No high points in this instance. All lows. Dreary. Dark. The red bordering both , represents the vitality of human nature. At the top it was uncontrolled, bleeding into all other aspects of life pre-Covid. As it travels south, it becomes thinner, more rigid, more linear. It then starts to completely disappear and despair has taken its place. -
2020-04-08
Impressive experience
When the Covid-19 outbreak first started in New York, it was unfortunate that all of my family was positive. In March 2020, after someone in New York was diagnosed positive, my family did not want me to go out and during that time I was in high school and working part-time. My family including most relatives also started not to work and quarantined at home. One day, one of my aunts came to my house with a cold and a cough, but we didn't think much of it because she just got the flu shot so we figured it might be the aftermath of the shot. After two or three days, we started to have different symptoms. I remember I started with a sore throat, a headache, a fever, and then lost my sense of taste and smell. My relatives also showed different degrees of symptoms, and my grandma had the most severe symptoms. She first had a sore throat, a cold, and a low-grade fever, and then she kept having diarrhea and couldn't eat which caused her to lose almost 10 pounds in just one week. During that time, one of my aunts came to take care of my grandma. Throughout the duration of my grandma being ill my aunt was running on only a few hours of sleep per day since she had to keep an eye over my grandma. I remember that the hospitals in New York were full at that time, many patients died without receiving treatment, and refrigerated trucks were parked outside the hospital to store the dead bodies of patients. The TV news also showed that many people were protesting against the announcement of masks being mandatory when going out. None of them believed that Covid-19 would be serious enough to kill people, and this frustrated me, making me feel the urge to express my feelings towards how serious this virus is. I saw that my grandma's condition was getting worse and worse. We also thought about calling an ambulance to take her to the hospital, but we were afraid that we would not get treatment and we would not be able to visit the hospital. We felt very hopeless. We were on the last straw, thus we were all discussing that if grandma didn't show any signs of improvement the next day, our last resort is to have my grandma sent to the hospital. As a result, the following day, my grandma started to eat and did not continue to have a fever, and her condition began to improve. Overall, Covid-19 has brought my family a lot of distress and I am glad that Covid-19 has started to settle and everything is slowly getting back to normal again. -
2020-03-11
What Happen During Lockdown
The lockdown gave me motivation like looking at the stars -
2021-09-24
How COVID-19 affected me and my family
September 24th 2021. It was just another normal day in the new pandemic experience, most of my day was spent on Zoom doing online classes for about four hours of the day. Today was different because I had an orthodontist appointment to finally have my braces removed after about 2.5 years of them on. As almost everyone else, I was finally excited to have my braces taken off and actually see my new smile. So after my 2 classes my mom drove me to the orthodontist and left me in the office to go run other errands. After leaving to do so, I had gotten my braces remove in what was really fast time compared to what I had envisioned. So when I had finished up and scheduled a future appointment for my retainer fitting I called my mom to see when she was going to pick me up and no response. I left a message and then called my dad. Again no response. I texted him and he said, “(Name) come home by bus. Mom had to go” I didn’t think much of it so I took the bus home. After I got home I called out in the house and had no response so I walked in normally, taking off my shoes and sweater. I walked into my parents bedroom and seen my parents on the bed. My mom almost curled up teary eyed and tissues next to her. My dad sitting on the edge of the bed next to her holding the tissue box. Obviously with the circumstances of that time, my heart sunk thinking someone died. COVID-19 is known to be fairly hard on the geriatric population so when my grandma from my mothers side had gotten it the night before, we were all on edge. My mom didn’t say a word, so my dad took me outside the room and said something. I still to this day can’t recall what he was saying and I just walked away. To this day I’ve been afraid to ask of the specifics, all I know was that she was alone in the hospital because of the country she was in had strict hospital visitation policies. I still don’t know how to deal with these emotions because honestly she was the person I loved the most second to my mother. She helped raise me and made me into the man I am today. Thank You وداد -
2020-03-11
CUNY closures
I took this photo of my friend, Sarah, cleaning everything she would be touching in March of 2020, the same day CUNY announced they would be closing due to COVID-19. I remember thinking she was silly for her paranoia. I was in denial that anything was really happening, and I think that was me trying to keep myself calm in all of the uncertainty of what was going to be happening. Looking back, Sarah was valid in her fears of this virus. The seriousness of the situation did not hit me until the announcement of the closure of CUNY schools. -
March 2020
Unprecedented wiped-out store shelves
As I remember now, around mid of March 2020 my undergrad school pushed all students and faculty to an immediate break while college administration had figured out the transforming in-person classes into online ones. Meanwhile, I was thrown into a new reality of Covid19 lockdown in NYC. As a part of it, there were empty shelves in supermarkets and grocery stores. On the first days of the officially declared lockdown, supermarkets became rapidly overcrowded by New York residents who had to rush to buy essential food supplies that could be preserved for a long time. The atmosphere of common panic at the beginning of the pandemic and lockdown seemed to be everywhere in New York. Hence, supermarket shelves naturally turned to be aisles with wiped-out shelves. Besides the essential foods, toilet paper and disinfection items (sanitizers and wipes) also run out with the speed of light. During the lockdown times, I remember challenges in finding these sanitizing wipes and sanitizers in the stores which were extremely needed. I made a joke once in my conversation with a store employee that I would have a time machine to travel to the recent past and buy all needed things and return. Supermarkets’ management decided to limit the sales items to avoid the absolute lack of necessary products in their stores. I could never imagine seeing such a lack of necessary food products in an economically advanced country like the US. In contrast, today and in pre-Covid times I did regularly head to do shopping in supermarkets, and I was able to view fully packed shelves and fridges with all types of various foods and products. -
2020-03-06
The Two Week Break
My Junior year at Midwood High School took an expected turn as a national emergency was declared on March 13, 2020. I remember watching the news with my mother, excited to see I would have two weeks off from school. My mother and I would both be home as all non-essential businesses moved to remote or closed down indefinitely. I immediately messaged my friends about the two week break, planning to play video games all day long. We spent those two weeks staying up late as if it was an extended spring break. Little did I know that those two weeks would turn into months of isolation, living in fear of going into the outside world. I feared for my father as he was a registered nurse at Woodhull Hospital. Not only did he have to go outside everyday for work, but he would be face to face with patients, many sick and dying from this new virus that took the world by surprise. There was no vaccine for almost an entire year, so all he could rely on were masks, gloves, face shields and hair nets. My father and many other medical workers were needed overtime to deal with the immense amount of patients coming in everyday. As he came home from work my mother would bring his clothes and leave them by our front door. I worried for him at work as I feared he could get this virus that we were still learning about. Thankfully he never got sick with Covid-19 during the early pandemic, and with the new vaccines in development many of our fears were put to rest. After almost two months of not having any classes we were introduced to remote learning through zoom and google classroom. It was a very new experience for my fellow classmates and I, but it was nice not having to leave your bed to go to class for a while. However that relief of not waking up early to go to class turned into yearning to go to school and seeing my friends. Waking up every morning to see a screen filled with blank profile pictures with names made me feel very lonesome. I would never imagine missing going to school, but it was something that I had taken for granted. In my senior year of high school there was the option for hybrid learning which I was very excited about, but I'd later find out that there would only be rows of desks set up in my school gyms we used for physical education. It wouldn't be the everyday schedule of switching classes and seeing my friends in the hallways and library. I ended up doing another year of remote learning which was very draining but I managed to do well in all my classes with nothing else to do. Unfortunately I did not have a prom or senior trip, but I was very lucky to have an in person graduation and see all of the people I once saw everyday again. This story of the pandemic is very significant to me as it taught me to never take things for granted as everything can change in a moments notice. The things I'd known as my everyday routine of school and hanging out became a distant memory for a long time until numbers and fears of the virus fell. Being able to go to campus now and have a regular life again is something I will now cherish forever. It is still somewhat hard to socialize again after being isolated for so long, but I have made some friends along the way and I look forward to all the memories that await me in the future. -
2020-04
Getting our Time Back
During our everyday lives, we tend to lose so much of our time that we'd like to spend doing things we enjoy such as spending time with family or even just doing hobbies. For example, when you have to work all week you usually spend at least half your weekend catching up on personal chores. During the Covid-19 Pandemic, my family and I were able to get back some of the time we had been spending at school and work, we were able to spend time together instead. We were able to have movie nights, game nights, and meals at the table, and we just enjoyed being together overall. This is so important to me because I value every second I spend with my loved ones, and I was glad we really got a chance to bond during a very stressful time for everyone. -
2020-03-24
Mental Breakdown
My sister, Heidi, passed away in Washington, DC, on March 23, 2020. I wasn’t allowed to be with her when she died. My sister was my best friend. I was so lost. Her children, Significant other, my mother, her best friend, and I couldn’t have a funeral for her because of the rules put into place for Covid. So, we could not have a memorial for her till and year and four months later. At the same time, everything began to shut down. My husband works for the NYPD; I was terrified of him getting sick and losing him. Every day after he left for work, I would fall on the floor and break down in tears. I live next to a nursing home facility on Beach 119th St. in Rockaway Park. At this time, I would stare out my windows to look at the ocean to try to calm myself. For weeks, I would see out the right side of my windows and the ambulances and medical examiner vans showing up non-stop to the nursing home for ten days. Bodies were being taken out morning, noon, and night. The flashing red lights signaled that my mental health was in danger. I felt myself crashing many times. I was devasted. To this day, I carry so much internal trauma, I don’t know if I’ll ever recover. I hate this world and the cruel people in it. People have become so ugly because of Covid. I doubt I’ll ever be able to escape the mental anguish that lives in my soul... -
2013-03-14
Pandemic Dream Vacation
This is a photograph i took on my last major vacation to South Carolina in 2013. If I could travel anywhere I would go back there and I would go back to Disney World and my dream vacation that I have never been on would be Hawaii. Due to circumstances that happened in 2013 I have been unable to return to South Carolina since. I would go back because I have some positive memories there and it was the last trip before my mom got paralyzed two months later and it is one of her favorite spots too. I have also enjoyed trips to Disney World and have always wanted to visit Hawaii. I did have a trip planned to South Carolina and Florida in February 2020 but had to cancel because of Covid and I have not had a chance to go back since. -
2020-04-20
Trapped in paradise
I was stationed in Oahu when Covid restrictions went into place. The entire island shut down and, at first, it was fantastic not having to go to work and just hanging out on a tropical island. As time went on, people started to go stir crazy, when the local government closed the beaches and other activities that made island life bearable. When Covid reached its worst point, the Army stopped allowing people to move, so even plans that were months out were canceled. Having joined those who went stir crazy, the prospect of being stuck in Hawaii any longer than necessary held little appeal to my family and I. When restrictions eased a little, military moves were only possible if the place you were coming from and going to were having drops in cases. We didn’t know for sure that we could move until a few days before it happened. We were so excited to be getting out of Hawaii, we forgot about how disappointed we were that my next duty assignment would be taking us to Denver. I’ve been to Denver before and didn’t like it, but when we got off that plane, after being trapped on an island for the last year, it was exciting. Most of my children weren’t old enough to remember snow, so they were immediately excited about the change. I was happy to see real mountains again, but forgot about changing seasons. It took me a while to realize that I can’t wear shorts in December any more. Colorado, for being so liberal didn’t have much in the way of covid restrictions. It was refreshing, considering that in Hawaii everyone was still wearing masks for everything. -
2021-04-18
Edinburgh and Northumberland, "Post Pandemic" Historical Tourism
I had been dreaming of this trip since 1996 when I went to England on a high school theatre and literature trip and fell in love with the UK. Specifically, I fell in love with Scotland and its history, becoming a British History enthusiast. In August, 2021, I completed my BA in History at ASU, then changed careers from Film/tv costuming to a special education teaching position. During the peak age of Covid-19, I worked full time, completed full time undergraduate studies, interned in politics and not-for-profit law, and started over in a new career and life in a new state. All of 2020-2021 was a non-stop adrenaline rush of constantly moving, getting Covid, and burning out mentally along the way. In 2021, I was halfway through a teaching contract and gravely unhappy, longing to just... escape. I kept dreaming of one photo of Edinburgh that was on my vision board. The picture, from Pinterest, was of a narrow Close in Old Town, Edinburgh, the historic "original" city that squeezed so much history and magic in about a mile. Old Edinburgh held tens of thousands of people in one square mile with their Closes serving as narrow alleyways between buildings of both stone and wood, both affluent and poor societal classes. After creating this vision board, I started working a ridiculous amount of overtime in the school's residences for special needs students and saving money. I was used to already working over 60 hours a week, so I didn't see the problem yet. The short staffing crisis of special education staff provided the opportunity to earn $40/ hour plus $1000 monthly bonus for anyone willing to work and be okay with less support for challenging behavior or emergency resources. I was willing to work hard to be free for just a short time over the Easter/Passover School break. Flight and accommodation prices were incredibly low at the start of 2021, encouraging tourists to travel. British Airways and other airlines offered incredible fares! These discounts still enabled me to book more affordable fare into 2023. My flight from Boston to Edinburgh was just over $400, with 7 nights stay in two 4 and 5 star hotels plus one castle for a total of less than $1000. My dream trip was planned to every detail and paid in advance or booked for free with historical memberships. The pandemic and rising popularity of Airbnb and Verbo created the perfect discounts for hotels and upgrades to better suites. Pre-pandemic, I got bed bugs from an Airbnb and had a nightmare of an experience, so it was out of the question for accomodation moving forward. While in planning stages, I booked historical tours and entry into sites like Edinburgh Castle, Mary Kings Close, Ghost Tours of the Vaults, Sterling Castle, then in England, Alnwick Castle and Chillingham Castle's paranormal investigation. I already had memberships to multiple British historical and public sites like the Alnwick Gardens (site of the famous Poison Garden) and Historical Scotland. From Edinburgh Castle to Chillingham Castle, I finally got to see the gallows, dungeons, and artifacts that were in my undergraduate classes. Finances and waiting for a travel companion to finally find "the time" to go held me back from going previously, but I was there, alone, at this particular time for a reason. I got to hold Witches Collars and touch an Iron Maiden that tortured so many innocent "witches". I sat in castle common areas alone with a glass of Whisky and venison sausage while hunting ghosts. Museum staff showed me witches charms and introduced me to folklore that secretly told tales of history in starkly lit archival research rooms. It was this trip that solidified by decision to continue onto graduate studies in history at ASU. It was this trip that made me question, "Why are we so fascinated by death and folklore?" It would be remiss to mention that during my historical tourism of Edinburgh and the Scottish-English Borderlands, the stories of historically significant pandemics and major moments of medical and scientific struggle or discovery were always present- It was..."everything, everywhere, all at once", if you will. The comparisons between Black Death to Cholera to Spanish Flu were ever-present while exploring Mary Kings Close, places of Surgical and Medical History interest, The Vaults, the Grass Market Gallows. I stepped into a cramped spaces that were once the homes of a families who all died of The Plague. White rags hung out the windows of these tourist destinations to remind visitors that it was the way leather beak masked Plague Doctors identified the infected and quarantined. "Haunted" Vaults served as reminders to modern tourists that the poor and disenfranchised once stayed here. If you want to go anywhere in the world to see a pandemic being held with an engrained fear and solemn respect for medical research, it's Scotland. In England, Chillingham Castle and Alnwick Castle allow visitors close proximity to places where prisoners carved each imprisoned day before their deaths into the walls. In Edinbugh, if it isn't a Harry Potter tour, it is a ghost tour. These ghosts are explored with light-hearted entertainment or found during paranormal investigations with high-tech gizmos and Ouiji Boards in this new age when we don't want to talk about how many people died of Covid-19 or a lack of health resources, but pre-modern history when people don't currently hold memory of the dead... One late morning, I went to a pub on the Royal Mile for a proper Scottish breakfast of sausages, haggis, bacon, eggs, tomato, and toast... and a pint. Bagpipes echoed in the air, passers-by spoke different languages and carried their cameras and I (Heart) Scotland t shirts and Whisky. As I sat outside, just taking everything in, a group of domestic tourists sat at my table. We laughed because we were all uncertain of "Mask? no Mask? What does 'optional Mask mean?' Were we bad people for NOT wearing a mask inside the pub to get another beer?" "Is it appropriate to sit so 'close'?" That particular day was the lifting of the Scottish masks in public places mandate. My mates-for-the-day spoke of their quarantines and experiences with Covid-19 and quarantine with both humor and sombre memories. The photo attached to this story was from this day where masks were no longer a must. It is also the same scene from my vision board. On my camera and iPhone camera reels, before this moment and after are dozens of photos of castle chambers, countryside fog, tourist photo ops of High Tea or plain ol Costa Coffee at [Insert Tourist Destination]. My photos are visited with gratitude and inspiration. Not only do I have a renewed desire to travel, but I have a spark of motivation to keep learning. I would never have been able to afford this trip at the level of luxury and privilege I experienced it without the Covid-19 pandemic's aftermath of needed promotional discounts. Misery was everywhere, yes, but joy and purpose were found for me. I hope there were others that experienced incredible change and revelation during this time. -
2020-06-22
Milestone Year
To get to this story, I have to go back a few years first. I'm an immigrant from El Salvador. I came to the U.S. as a teenager in 1994, and never went back. I was in my 30s when I decided it was finally time to visit the grandmother I'd been missing for so long. I started to save and plan. Then she died. It took several years before I finally took my first trip back in November of 2019. I spent the time vacationing on the coast. I avoided my grandmother's house, my friends, and my family. I wasn't ready. But I decided that for my 40th birthday, in 2020, I'd return for a longer stay and visit my childhood home and all the friends and family left behind. Then there was a pandemic. The trip was cancelled, but it was the least of that year's problems. I lost my job and went back to school to start a new career. Our dog got cancer and died. My partner had a friend in El Salvador who died of COVID. I can never reschedule that same trip. Too much has changed. I'm planning to return this summer. This time with a firmer grasp on life's impermanence. I want to visit the white sand beaches at Playa Mango before it gets turned into a "surf city" tourist trap. I want to visit all the important cultural landmarks, especially those from which I can learn about my ancestors. More importantly, I will not avoid friends and family. On the contrary, I want to cherish the time I will have with them as if the next day isn't guaranteed. I plan to take dozens of photographs, portraits of everyone I see, I want to write down their stories in my journal, I want to record every visit, every meal, every experience possible in my journal. I plan to say "see you later," but not leave anything unsaid. Just in case. -
2021-08-11
Venturing to California Once LIve Concerts Resumed
As pandemic restrictions began to ease up, we decided to travel with our family from Arizona (where things had been less strict) to California (where things had been more strict) to see a concert. Many of the music artists we enjoy had only been performing via live stream for the prior year and a half, but now a band we enjoyed was having an outdoor concert at a large venue. After buying tickets though, we worried because we began to see information on the venue's website that indicated only California residents would be permitted. We tried calling, but there were no responses. We went on the trip, not knowing if we would be turned away. Luckily, the website for the event updates the day off and we were able to enter. It was an awkward feeling as masks were still required for an outdoor event, but the vast majority of participants didn't have them on. The picture is my son in outdoor seating wearing his mask despite everyone around us not. This was much less an act of social defiance or morally based compliance, and more of confusion about what was really expected and fear of stepping across unclear lines in a neighboring state. -
2021-04-27
The Masked Magic Kingdom
This is a story about a family trying to experience the World of Disney in a post pandemic world. It shows that even at the end of a pandemic, a family can still make the most and be together and make memories to last a life time! -
2020-02-18
Patients and Patience
I spent the majority of 2019 in Afghanistan. As far as deployments go, it was as busy as it was rewarding. I spent my days providing medical care to the local Afghans which included the handling of war wounds, managing chronic diseases, or treating any number of the infectious diseases that are endemic to the Middle East. My day-to-day activities had me in regular contact with sick people, and it was my responsibility to help them. Later in the year, a sickness began to go around. Across the country service members and civilians alike were coming down with what was presumed to be the flu. With consistently negative tests, however, medical professionals began looking to other causes for the wide range of symptoms people were suffering from. When I got sick, I lost my voice for a month and could barely walk out of my room without losing my breath and so I resolved to spending my time lying in bed and watching movies. When I returned home from Afghanistan in early 2020, I still wasn’t quite recovered. Unfortunately, my homecoming was not an elaborate affair as my wife and children were waiting for me in Texas where they had spent my deployment near family. The plan was for me to visit until it was time for me to move down there as well. I still suffered from shortness of breath and one day, shortly after returning, I nearly passed out on a light jog, and I knew something was wrong. I was scheduled to visit my wife and kids in the coming weeks, excited to see them after my deployment, but my unknown sickness had other plans in mind. At this point in the year, COVID was in its infancy, there hadn’t been any lockdowns or travel restrictions, only the lingering concern that this new disease could become a problem. So, naturally, when I went in to see the doctors for my persistent symptoms, it was an easy assumption that I had caught COVID early while in Afghanistan in the months prior. While investigating the cause of my ongoing issues, they found a nodule in my lungs. Apparently, my weakened immune system and constant contact with severely sick patients had resulted in me contracting tuberculosis. I was now a high-risk patient. The ironic thing is that my newly diagnosed condition was contagious, and not being near my family prevented me from spreading it to my wife or kids. So much for visiting family after my deployment. Over the next few months, I was treated with heavy duty antibiotics that left me puking in the mornings and unable to leave my house, which became easier and easier as COVID gripped the world. Flights were canceled and lockdowns were enforced while I facetimed my family 1,500 miles away. After my treatment was complete, I eagerly drove home on empty roads to see my family for the first time since I had left the year prior. I would intermittently make the drive a few more times before I made the official move down later that year. Three years later, I still remember, as I’m sure we all do, the frustrations that were ever-present at the height of the pandemic. I remember my own frustrations at the difficulty of traveling down to see my kids, something that hadn’t been part of our well laid plans before my deployment. I remember having to explain to three young children why I couldn’t come home and helping my wife explain why they could no longer go to the park, to school, or hang out with their friends. In the end, however, I am grateful. I am grateful because I am able to teach them, through their own personal experiences, that we are all in this together. When they express annoyance at ongoing COVID policies, which cost them personal convenience, I can recount to them the sacrifices they made in order to keep us all safe from my sickness as well as COVID. They have learned that being patient and considerate is as much for everyone’s else’s sake as much as their own and it’s a lesson that has translated across their lives today. -
2021-06-18
Tourism Story: Florida After Travel Restrictions
I graduated from my Bachelor's program in May 2021, after vaccine rollout and as travel restrictions were being lifted. To celebrate, my family organized a short trip to Florida in June, where we would visit the Universal Studios theme park for a couple days, which had always been a dream destination for my parents. This was a huge deal for us, because my family has never been able to afford a vacation like that, and we saved during the pandemic to be able to afford it once travel restrictions were lifted and we were all vaccinated. By the time we went, almost all travel restrictions had been lifted, and I remember the strange mix of relief and uneasiness I got from how "normal" everything seemed in Florida. I hardly saw anyone even wearing masks, and I was honestly glad for that not being a requirement in the theme park - I'm from Kentucky, and I hadn't been prepared for the intense Florida heat and humidity! I'll always treasure the memory of seeing the ocean for the first time and getting to spend time with my family, and even though I was still worried about the pandemic, it felt like such a relief to have a normal vacation after such a stressful and scary year. -
2021-07
My Grandpa and I’s Camping COVID Trip
After 2020, I was looking to travel and try to get back to normal. However, in 2021 I was supposed to go to Europe to see my sister but COVID canceled that trip so I was perplexed at what I could do for travel. Then it came to me, my grandpa is someone who has traveled almost everywhere in the US. With that, he loves to camp and one of his favorite spots that he always mentions is Mackinac Island. I thought this would be a great bonding trip. So for Christmas I told my grandpa that I would love to go on a camping trip with him up to Mackinac Island in Michigan. This would be the first time me and my grandpa would be going on a week-long vacation with just ourselves. What was funny is that everyone in the family warned me because my grandpa never stops talking and the music would be in his hands. The good thing about that is that I had lived with my grandparents the summer after I finished college so I was used to being around the constant conversations. Secondly, I am an old soul so I love 50s and 60s music. Therefore, I knew that this could be one of the best trips I might ever get to take with my grandfather. The trip began in July of 2021 as we left my hometown of Manteno, IL and traveled up to Michigan. We had a small popup camper that we were going to be sleeping in for this week's trip. There were so many favorite memories it is kind of hard to trim down. First off, traveling was so much fun, having deep conversations about my grandpa’s life and the different times that he had gone to Mackinac were so fascinating. My grandpa can talk to anyone so he is a very good storyteller. Another memory was setting up the camper because the second time we did set it up we forgot to stabilize the back so when I went to lay in bed the whole thing tipped over. The good part is that no one got hurt. On the second day when we arrived in Mackinac it was down pouring on us, thankfully my grandpa had ponchos ready to go. That night we started the tradition that would carry on for the night which was our card games. Every night we played either crazy eights or dirty spades. Those were some of the best times when we were just hanging out together. I cannot tell you how amazing those memories still are today. When we traveled to Mackinac Island on the third day it was amazing. Me and my grandpa walked all around the island taking in the nature, the history, and the culture on this small island. It lived up to the hype my grandpa had told me. After that day we traveled up to the Upper Peninsula with the UP-ers which was cool to see. That night we slept on the border of Canada, which we could see across the river in Sault Ste. Marie. We went on a couple water boat tours in the Great Lakes which were amazing. One of the last funny memories we had was that my grandpa finally let me drive on the second to last day. I am not kidding you when I say thirty minutes into driving one of the camper’s tires was gone. The best part was that neither of us noticed until a car passed us and pointed it out. This was such a funny memory because then we had to replace the tire and that is a story that me and my grandpa still joke about. Maybe my driving is bad but I don’t know, it could just be bad luck. The good thing about this entire trip was that the COVID restrictions were minimal. Since we were outside for the most part that was almost never an issue. A couple times when we went into restaurants we had to put our masks on, but it was nice because we were getting fresh air. Overall, the trip was a resounding success and one that I know holds a special place in my heart and my grandpa’s. I feel so fortunate to have had this experience with my grandpa and cannot wait for the next roadtrip we have together. -
2022-07-01
Delay to The Bay
My plans to visit San Francisco in 2020 came to a halt with the outbreak of the Coronavirus. As a high school teacher, I was looking forward to my long awaited-spring break. It had been quite some years since my last visit to the San Francisco, and I knew a trip to ‘The Bay’ was long overdue. I booked a flight, hotel, and waited patiently as the weeks went by. Spring was coming up and there were heavy concerns about COVID 19 spreading into North America. I was slightly concerned but figured I would be safe to make this trip. As news broke out about cases emerging in San Francisco, the nation went into hysteria. I was not skeptic about the hazard of Coronavirus, but selfishly planned to proceed with the trip. Then my father called me. My parents, both in their seventies were definitely at risk, especially my mother who struggled with health since my childhood. My father asked me kindly not to go to San Francisco. Without hesitation, I canceled my flight and hotel. I had booked everything online through a third party and was unable to receive any refund. Bummed out, I knew it was the right thing to do. Coronavirus spread, schools shut down and my spring break prolonged. At first I was spending time kayaking, but the weather in Phoenix got so hot I had to stay inside. The Phoenix summer of 2020 had record breaking heat with 55 consecutive days of 115 degrees plus Fahrenheit temperatures. I was miserable. With concerns of my mom’s health, social distancing, living alone and bored, I was very unhappy. The unjustifiable killing of George Floyd caused anger, and rightfully so, across the nation which contributed to more hysteria. The only positive that came from that hot summer were my experiments in the kitchen. I would then deliver tasty meals for my parents. This was the one thing that made me happy. Unfortunately, my mother did not survive past the summer of 2020. She passed away in her sleep peacefully due to an unrelated COVID cause. I was on an all time low. Sad, empty, missing my students, and missing normal daily life. We had no idea how many people would die and when things would normalize. It was truly scary. Fast forward to 2022 and things were much better. I figured surviving 2020 made me stronger and much happier. Vaccinated and boosted, I decided to pursue my trip to San Francisco. I made the best of this short trip. I went to a party outside the Chase Center for the NBA Finals, in which the Golden State Warriors played against the Boston Celtics. For the first time, I took a ferry to Alcatraz. In China Town, I saw locals dance with dragons, in which one bopped me in the face while I was taking photos! Caught by surprise, I did not take offense to this. Observing how the dragons behaved with mischief, I knew it was all for fun. This made me laugh. This was a much-needed trip indeed. 2020 affected everyone around the world. With global hysteria, people getting sick, people dying, racial injustice, everyone except pandemic deniers and those oblivious to political issues resonated with fear. Passing through time, my 2022 trip to San Francisco was a rebirth. A rebirth to normalization. A rebirth to my passion of exploring culture. A rebirth of sanity, and a rebirth of controlling fear. A rebirth to laughter. With dragons, noodles, basketball, and Ghirardelli, the delay to ‘The Bay’ will forever be a golden memory. -
2023-01-29
Travelling Post-Pandemic: Reflections
Deciding whether or not to travel post-pandemic has been weighing on me emotionally. Here, I identify reasons I should vs should not travel, as well as where I would go and why. -
2021-03-30
Mojo Leaves
I took this photo of Watson Lake near the Dells five days after restrictions were lifted. From what I remember, there were no travel restrictions at the time. I was one of the few that lived on a large property, and I could stay busy feeding my animals, chopping firewood, and working on homework. However, concerning the photo, I was coming home from getting guitar strings in Prescott. It was the first time I had thought about playing music since my good friend Joseph Morganfield passed away in December 2020. He's the son of Muddy Waters and was one of my biggest supporters as an artist and musician. I always tell folks if I could have chosen a dad, it would have been Joseph. This day was important because I realized life would go on, after Covid, like it or not. -
2020-07-01
Defender of Target
During COVID-19 I worked at Target. I was freshly 21 and like everyone else, was shocked by the intensity and severity of the pandemic. What had begun as a part-time gig quickly became my entire world. In the state I lived in, our store was considered an “essential business,” and therefore remained open. It was my job to stock and fold children’s clothes, maintaining a clean store front in the midst of the chaos. Throughout the early days, I would stand behind my folding table watching full-grown adults battle over toilet paper. They would line up outside of the store hours before it opened to ensure they’d receive a package of the holy grail. Suddenly, folding Peppa Pig shirts wasn’t my only duty. I became the protector of fitting rooms, the hunter of lost and contaminated clothing; gathering items that had been illegally tried on and stuffing them into their quarantine room, to “disinfect” for 3-5 business days. Being an essential employee during the pandemic made me jaded. It offered me insight into the human mind, a glimpse of what panic and fear can do to a person. I saw the worst, but also experienced kindness and empathy from people who understood what it was like to be caught in the midst of the hellfire. For some, Target turned into a safe haven, a place that remained open and reliable despite the madness going on in the world, while others gave up their sanity to keep it up and running. I will always think of my time at Target as a glitch in the matrix; a bizarre patch of time that tested the strength of a part-time sales associate, and humanity. -
2021-06-12
Meeting my Girlfriend
Below is the email I sent to my therapist about meeting my now girlfriend at a party. "Dear Mr. Gabe. So I'm not exactly sure if I listened to your advice or not but I found someone and it was in the most unlikely of places. We meet at a mutual friend's party, she's really nice, loves History, Art, and stuff like that. Tomorrow morning ill be meeting up with her at her house and we're going to visit a historical site in town. I'm not really sure what to expect, what will happen, or where it will go from here so we'll see! -Nolan" -
2021-04-08T09:16
6 feet apart
This was the first time I had physically gone back to the doctors since the pandemic. At this point in time, virtual or phone visits were the option available to seek help for the minor things. Unsure of the official protocols, as it felt like the world was stuck between going back to what was once normal and isolation - I sat next to my son, who was five at the time, like normal. He stared at me for a moment, scooted away and said, "Mom, you have to stay 6 feet apart." As I went to go sit by myself in a chair, I snapped this photo of him looking out the window. It was the first time I ever truly felt that things would never go back to normal. -
2020-09-02
The Shaman in Francesco
When I went to work at Ernst and Young, I thought partners were going to figure out in a New York minute that I didn’t belong there because I lacked the intellectual curiosity, problem-solving talent, communication ability, or any of these characteristics of a professional consultant. I was extremely anxious on my first day. When I entered the Orange County office with its oil paintings hanging in the entryway and its staircase connecting the floor on which consulting Partners had offices to the floor on which audit Partners resided, I knew I didn’t belong there. Then I met Francesco; he was a shaman bearing wise council. I felt at ease instantly. Francesco’s friendship and advice were just what the doctor ordered. On the first project I managed, Francesco worked for me as a member of the consulting team. The Partner we reported to did not like Francesco. He didn’t like his style of communication, his style of dress, nor his accent–Francesco was Chinese-Indonesian. I gave up my integrity by sharing in the Partner’s dislike of Francesco. But my opinion was dishonest. He had been my savior, after all. Role forward six years, and Francesco now works for a small consulting firm I own. Francesco is a loyal consultant in which I confide my innermost emotions. Unfortunately, my consulting firm went through a period of contraction that meant Francesco had to find employment elsewhere. Still, we met regularly to explore opportunities to grow my company so that Francesco and I could work on the same team again. As always, Francesco was a source of limitless ideas and friendship. Francesco passed away on September 2nd, 2020. He was taken from humanity at much too young of an age. He did not succumb to COVID. I don’t even remember how COVID affected me at the time because I was so distraught over Francesco’s passing. I didn’t lose a colleague. I lost a friend. -
2022-12-17
Been through it all
I got married on April 4, 2020. We had planned 125 guests. I was so excited to celebrate with everyone. I remember hearing about covid in China in February and thinking that it was so far away I shouldn't worry. While my daughter was on Spring break everything started shutting down. At first it seemed temporary. Like it would just be a week or two. Just until things died down. Then local governments started getting strict as it became apparent how dangerous covid was. As the rules changed, I had to send apologetic emails disinviting guests due to limits on gatherings. We went from 125 to 100. Then it went to 75, 50, and 25. Each time it was agonizing figuring out who would be cut from our wedding. Finally it came down to just our parents, the pastor and his family, and the photographer. I got my wedding dress back from alterations the day the shop closed down to the public. We had the wedding in my parents' backyard. The pastor's children played guitar and sang. Our honeymoon was canceled a few days before the wedding because the small county in the mountains wasn't letting anyone in who wasn't local. We had a staycation for a honeymoon and played video games together. We are a blended family. I often tell people we got married at the beginning of the pandemic. It was like "Congratulations on your new sister! You'll be with her 24/7 and never get away from her!" They quickly became sisters. They were each other's only playmate. At the same time they irritated each other just like normal siblings. It bonded them as sisters. It was hard for us when my step-daughter started kindergarten in the fall and my daughter started 2nd grade. We had alarms going off all day to try to manage their classroom google calls while my husband and I attempted to work from home. It was very stressful. My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in December 2020. At times they refused to allow my dad to accompany her to appointments. She was found crying in a hallway unable to get to the correct room. It was awful. I had to be so careful as my kids started hybrid school to not get her sick. It was hard to balance my kids' need for some stability and trying to be with my mom as much as possible. We made the decision to try for another child so my mom had the best chance at meeting her grandchild. I got to share my positive pregnancy test while visiting. It was such a happy moment in the midst of so much sadness. Adding to that stress was a difficult custody battle over my daughter. We couldn't have extra people at court to support me. My husband had to leave early to get the kids from school. Being left at the courthouse after testifying about how my ex abused me was one of the loneliest moments of my life. I had to take a Lyft ride back home and try not to break down in a stanger's car. My mother's condition got worse quickly. We were able to have a family reunion in June. I was nervous about so many people traveling in, but we needed to have mom see family again before something happened. My mom was admitted to the hospital at the beginning of July. I couldn't visit her because of being pregnant and the risk was too high to go to a hospital. My mom and dad supported this and wanted me to keep the baby safe. I had to record a goodbye message to play for her when she was awake. My mom passed on July 5th, 2021. Even at the funeral, I stayed in a separate room and had a friend read the eulogy remarks I prepared. I had my youngest daughter in February 2022. We were limited on visitors, so only my husband and dad came to the hospital. So many day cares closed in the pandemic, we had a very difficult time finding child care. Despite getting on the list in early pregnancy, we couldn't start at day care until September. We had to use social media to find part time nannies and alter our work hours to cover child care until she could start day care. She actually just tested positive for covid yesterday after another child at daycare was positive earlier in the week. Thankfully she's vaccinated. I've been through so much since the pandemic. I'm thankful for what I have, I crave rest. I'm worn out. I lost so much. No bridal shower. No honeymoon. No baby shower. No support for happy and sad moments. It's been really hard. -
2022-11-22
My Annual Newsletter to Friends 2022
I always send a newsletter at the holidays and share whatever I have been thinking about. I want to keep in touch with friends. My newsletters in 2020, 2021, and 2022 were mostly about the pandemic. I would like now to submit the one for 2022. I already submitted the others. -
2020-06-04
HIST30060: Loneliness
The past three years have been incredibly lonely. I've included here a picture of my younger brother on his 18th birthday: a picture I find eerily reminiscent of Edward Hopper's Realist paintings from the 40s and 50s. My brother has always been the most popular person in any room, constantly surrounded by friends, a real party animal. But on his 18th, he was alone (with me and my parents) and couldn't celebrate in the way he would have liked. Since then, he has had a makeup party, but it isn't the same. He also finished high school during this period, and god I feel sorry for the classes of 2020 and 2021. It is easy to be sorry for myself, who has only experienced university through the lens of a post-COVID world, but I was fortunate enough to celebrate my 18th with my friends, finish high-school not on zoom, go to schoolies and travel on a gap year before we were prevented by the pandemic. Poor Sam didn't get any of that, and that really makes me sad. -
2021-10
HIST30060: Long Distance friendships
Throughout the past three years, I've spent much time going back and forth between Sydney and Melbourne (largely unrelated to COVID). I went through a fantastic period where I managed to avoid lockdowns in both states (not on purpose, I promise!), but then I ended up doing both Delta lockdowns in Melbourne and then in Sydney (karma). I've never been more grateful for zoom and facetime so I could keep in touch with my friends no matter where I was. -
2020-03-22
HIST30060: A Trip to the Zoo
I started at Melbourne University in March 2022, moving all the way from Sydney and knowing no one in Melbourne. I quickly made a group of friends at college, but things were still a bit new and awkward - we were in that stage of a new friendship where you are past small talk but not quite at deep and meaningful. Regardless, we decided to take a trip to Melbourne Zoo on the 22nd of March. It was a great day: the sun was shining and the animals were beautiful. We were joking around and it seemed like we were at the start of a really exciting and close friendship. In the early afternoon, I got a phone call from mum. News had been trickling in over the past month of COVID cases and deaths in Australia, but we still weren't entirely sure how seriously to take the disease, and we were clueless about how it would change our lives. On the phone, mum asked if I had been reading the news. Of course I hadn't. She told me that all non-essential services would be shut down, and that it was likely going to get more strict as the week went on. "I think you should come home. Uni will be online anyway." The next day, I was on a plane back to Sydney, after only having spent 22 days at college. Never fear, though, I was sure it'd all be over soon. -
2022-10-10
HIST30068 China’s Zero Covid Policy Story 4
A door in the neighbourhood is nailed, to stop people with positive cases from going outside. I found it a bit uncomfortable, and I really feel sorry for the people inside. -
2020-03-20
Letter from Mum
With lots of extra time to spare during the lockdowns, my Mum started writing letters to me as a way to share news. This was a lovely way to stay in touch between Australia and New Zealand, although by the time the letters made it through the very very slow postal system they were weeks out of date. This particular letter from the very start of the pandemic captures the novelty and chaos of the situation very well -- most events are starting to be cancelled, the border between NZ and AU has shut, and everyone is slowly coming to terms with what's happening. -
2021-10-22
"Freedom Day"
This photo was taken just after midnight on October 22 2021, after the end of Melbourne's final lockdown. With the curfew lifted and fewer restrictions on leaving home we took the opportunity to come out at midnight and celebrate. This photo captures the excitement of the moment, which finally felt like we coming to the end of the most difficult period of the pandemic. -
2022-10-30
Silenced voices of the commoner
The recent Covid-19 pandemic has had immense local and global ramifications, especially for us Victorians who have experienced the world’s longest lockdowns. It was a significant worldwide event which will certainly be looked back upon by future generations, just as we have analysed previous historical diseases, such as the bubonic plague. But how should archivists determine which sources, and likewise which voices should be permanently preserved within the historical record? Traditionally, an archive is a collection of documents that archivists have selected to be permanently preserved as sources for future historical or other forms of research. Initially, only scholars with an ambition to conduct historical research had access to archives, but their digitisation and free nature have ensured that anyone is able to access the documents they contain online. However, the process of creating both physical and digital archives is inherently flawed. Archivists have a formidable power to evaluate which sources are “worthy of inclusion”, and simultaneously which ones are not; essentially what compromises the historical record. Therefore, although archivists are characterised as unbiased and impartial individuals, they are inextricably influenced by “societal biases” in their decision-making, as they simply have to select what they personally believe will have value to future researchers. It has culminated in them privileging and prioritising the voices of individuals within positions power, which has indefinitely created “gaps within the historical record” through inhibiting the voices of those without it. Rodney G.S. Carter echoes the problem in asserting that the existence of archival “silences” is the “manifestation of the actions of the powerful”, which has a substantial impact on how marginalised groups produce and likewise form both social history and memory. Ariella Aïsha Azoulay has cautioned readers that “digital archives are no exception”. With this in mind, if we consider the 19-month impact of the pandemic upon Victoria, I am certain that archivists will acknowledge the voices of those within positions of power when determining what sources should be preserved. Of particular importance would be those of primary actors that shaped Victoria’s lockdown experience, most importantly the protagonist of the lockdowns, Premier Daniel Andrews (fig.1). Figure 1. Video of Premier announcing sixth lockdown, cited in Patrick Durkin, “’Recuring nightmare’: Victoria’s snap lockdown is the ‘new normal,’” Financial Review, August 5, 2021, URL: https://www.afr.com/policy/economy/very-concerned-victoria-faces-lockdown-after-eight-new-cases-20210805-p58g3o. I am aware of the threat of “information overload” both real and digital archives currently face with an abundance of available sources, but I would argue that the preservation of major political statements alongside previously supressed voices would be beneficial to any archive created surrounding the Victorian Covid-19 experience. A consideration of the experiences of marginalised voices would be imperative to a future historian, as it would enrich historiography by offering insight into the social-political dynamics of the event, and its psychological impact beyond official government and political documents. I will now consider the value of this “bottom-up approach” in capturing the Victorian pandemic experience from the viewpoint of the common man, me, a historically marginalised group within the realm of archives. I personally wasn’t too concerned about the first lockdown and its stage three and four restrictions as they would “flatten the curve” of infectious cases, providing our health system with the best opportunity to tackle the fast-spreading virus. Life as we know it changed though with only four reasons to leave home; shopping, exercise, caregiving, and work. The café I worked at had to shift to “take away only”, as many others (fig.2). Figure 2. The Food Republic Café, “covid update for customers,” Blackburn, March 23, 2020, URL: https://www.facebook.com/thefoodrepubliccafe. I was still able to work alongside my barista colleague and friend Max which was pretty good, and I was able to perfect my coffee artwork (fig.3). Figure 3. The Food Republic Café, “promotional post during lockdown 1” Blackburn, April 8, 2020, URL: https://www.facebook.com/thefoodrepubliccafe. I was also able to continue exercising and riding my bike, but I wasn’t able to see or visit any friends or family, which initially seemed like a fair sacrifice to make for the health and wellbeing of all Victorians (fig.4). Figure 4. George Vesnaver, Selfie on bike ride, April 10, 2020, photograph, Main Yarra Trail, Melbourne. However, after being continuously plunged in and out of lockdowns by the time the sixth one came about, I was very angry to say the least as representative within my covid journal entry (fig. 5). Figure 5. George Vesnaver, Covid Journal Entry, October 27, 2022, photograph, Kew East, Melbourne. Laura A. Millar’s observation that “the concept of evidence” must be broadened as opposed to its current restrictive and rigid format adopted by archivists has reaffirmed my belief that my experience and that of other regular people should not be forgotten. My sources may just seem like information to an archivist because of their form, but they are filled with evidence of this historic moment. Their eternal preservation within an archive would serve anyone wanting to write about the Victorian Covid-19 experience in the foreseeable future. For example, figure 2. would enable one to see how government information was disseminated via social media; the confirming and likewise conforming of political decisions. Figure 3. would reveal the way in which people adapted to Victoria’s first initial lockdown via humour, helping us remember attitudes towards the past event. Figure 4. would showcase a sense of normality during unprecedented times, through an ability to continue exercising. But most importantly the response depicted in figure 5. towards figure 1., a first-hand account of the psychological impact of the endless lockdowns instigated by those with political powers. Winston Churchill once said that “history is written by the victors”, so considering those with and without power survived the pandemic it seems only fair that all our voices should be recognised in the historical record. -
2021-08-08
Revisiting the family archives - HIST30060
In isolation, I found myself coming closer to my family. I was living in Melbourne at the time, away from my home in Tasmania, but maintained constant connection via video calling and messaging my family. One way I connected with home was by sharing old photos with my sister. This is one she sent me while I was in lockdown. It was taken around 2008. Trawling through thousands of old photos was an easy way to keep occupied during lockdowns, and I’m partially glad that COVID gave me the free time to do so as it was a fun way to bond with family and massage out the homesickness. -
2021-09-16
Escaping Melbourne - HIST30060
This is a picture of Melbourne Airport (Tullamarine)’s Terminal 4. I flew out of Melbourne to get home to Tasmania just days before rising cases of the Delta variant forced state governments to shut borders once again. I remember the surreal feeling of passing through the airport then. Without the rush of people, the place felt gigantic. My eyes, typically drawn towards the way I needed to go, were able to refocus towards the ceilings, pillars and billboards. It felt like standing in a cathedral. As I was dwarfed by the sheer size of the terminal, I reflected on how COVID was reshaping billions of lives and world history as a whole too. -
2021-07-23
Vaccination Cards - HIST30060
These are vaccination cards, little pieces of cardboard given to you after a COVID vaccination to both remind you of when your next dose is due and to prove that you got the jab. Legal proof was a major part of the COVID pandemic and perhaps one of its most frustrating parts. I despised incessantly needing to prove that I was vaccinated and without any COVID-like symptoms to do everyday tasks like shopping, visiting the doctor or going to my classes. To make it all easier, I kept these cards as proof of my vaccination. I also kept them as a souvenir. I was cognisant of the fact that we were living through an event which would alter the course of world history, although I didn’t know how. I thought that they would be a nice piece of material history to show people when they ask what living through the pandemic was like. -
2020-08-18
HIST30060: Negative Test Result
This is a screenshot of a negative PCR test result from August 2020. At this time, test results would typically take 24 hours to process, with the government requiring that the patient isolate until they received the result of their test. I, like most residents in Melbourne, suffered a profound emotional impact from the bombardment of public messaging about the pandemic. The advertising campaigns by the state government as well as opinions expressed on social media suggested that a failure to follow health protocols would result in tremendous negative effects. For example, failing to get tested could be the reason that someone's grandmother died from exposure to the pandemic. With such high stakes attached to my everyday behaviour and compliance to health orders, whenever I felt even slightly unwell, it would trigger a barrage of intense anxiety. The health order to self-isolate for a week after a positive test result, as well as the Andrews governments' policy of reopening contingent on the number of positive test results in the community, further increased anxiety around any form of cold symptoms. To the day, this image evokes feelings of fear and relief. Something so mundane as a text message represented either a ticket to freedom or a binding health order. In this case, the text message represented a reassurance that my sickness was the regular, boring sort, and that I was not an accidental killer of grandmothers. It represents the use of everyday technology, both sophisticated and mundane, in the pandemic response. -
2022-09-10
My feelings on the Coronavirus Pandemic
• I am by Profession a Part-time Instructor of Creative Writing. I received my master’s degree in creative Writing from Concordia University. Right now, sine the Coronavirus crisis hit, I have been a full-time Stay-at-Home Mom with our two lovely daughters, Emily 8 and Lisa 10! They have been having the hardest time since the Coronavirus Situation hit our Country. Many times, Emily will say to me ‘Mommy, I’m scared, when will this crisis end? I’m Sorry, because I really don’t know what to say to her, at that age!! When I was a little girl, we didn’t have to face such a crisis! The closest thing we had was in 1961, to hide under our school desks, during siren drills! • Mentally, lately I have, personally been having frequent bouts of Severe Depression, whereby I feel like crying a lot, but my daughters and my husband, Dennis, kisses me, comforts me and tells me not to Worry!! • My Father-in-Law has recently been admitted to the hospital, after he began having severe stomach pains, after helping my Mother-In-Law to lift several boxes of heavy furniture! He was in the hospital for a series of Tests, after which it was discovered that he had damaged his Kidneys and 1-2 months of Intense Physical Therapy, combined with daily Anti-Biotics! A Group of Ladies that I belong to at my Church, have been commenting, “Boy Melissa, you simply don’t seem like your Cheerful, jolly, Loving self, are you sure you are alright?? Is there anything that We can do to help you and Dennis? • I typically work Outside-the-Home, but lately, because of our two daughters, I have chosen to work remotely from Home! But their smiles 😉 make it all worthwhile!! • My Husband and I are both, definitely practicing Social Distancing!! My girlfriends All Admire the ‘Courage-Of-My-Conviction!’ They tell Me Openly that they feel that I AM TRULY ONE OF THE BRAVEST WOMEN THAT THEY KNOW!! Although Dennis and I have to frequently visit his parents only via Skype! This is often-times distressing! • Because of this, We hardly-Ever, if Ever, Go Outside Our Home, so We have had to cancel Running of All Errands, and We absolutely do no Travelling and Outside trips, (Except the get-the-mail), and So we Obviously pursue All of Our Leisure, Social Activities, and all such Celebrations like Thanksgiving, and Christmas, on-line via Zoom! • Personally, I Definitely think that the Government could have done a lot more in the wake of this Covid-19 GLOBAL PANDEMIC. Of course, I am relieved now that we are going to have a Wonderful New Administration in Washington, D.C.! I just hope to-GOD THAT THEY DO NOT “TAKE THEIR EYES OFF THE BALL!!” • As the Mother of two young girls, it pains me very much so just think about ‘what kind of future my daughters are going to have, if we fail once again to ‘Nip this crisis in the bud’? • Definitely, I am hopeful that as a World Community, we will all be coming much closer together!! This makes me smile too! -
2020-10-08
“Zoomed to Death”: Here’s the Science Behind Zoom Fatigue
Students all over Australia experienced struggles with the pandemic affected learning environments, one of the most challenging at the a University of Melbourne was the use of Zoom calls for learning and how it impacted motivation to learn and overall fatigue. -
2020
A year of recovery
Our adult son died of cancer at the end of 2018. We were devastated. Our lives were disrupted and upended, while everyone else went on as if everything was normal. Anyone who has lost a family member or friend knows what this is like. Way too many people found out in 2020 what that is like. In 2020, other people were inconvenienced. A lot. I’ll acknowledge that it was tough on everyone, but it’s nothing compared to losing a loved one. When we realized that the pandemic disruption really didn’t faze us, we realized that we were going to be OK. We had faced the unbearable; this was trivial by comparison. So was losing my job. We were privileged that 2020 and 2021 gave us a chance to reset, to recharge, to reboot. To make ends meet, I now work and live on another continent, away from my wife. It’s incredibly difficult. We’ve dealt with worse situations. We’ll be OK. -
2020-03-21
Education changed
It was my first year teaching middle school history. I was bright-eyed, excited, and felt like I had finally found my calling in life. I went into spring break with such an excited feeling about my new career path. Coming from retail, I could finally have time to spend with my family and not have to worry about making a quota. Then the email came. We would be moving to distance learning and I would not get the chance to finish my first year as an educator with my first group of kids. The sound I most remember was the Google Meets login when someone joined. That sound will forever be associated with the pandemic. The sound I had never heard before became the sound that brought me joy as I was finally able to make sure my students were okay. I remember that sound and immediately checking to see who was logging in. It brought mixed feelings of compassion, empathy, and sadness. Even as we started to get back into the classroom, nothing would ever be the same as it once was. But that sound, that one quick sound, brought on the emotions of this educator. And I hope I will never have to hear that sound again. -
2020-08-08
Relearning to Cook
I have loved to cook for as long as I can remember, but I had a few rough years and stopped cooking. With the onset of stay-at-home orders for the COVID-19 Pandemic, I went from 60-hour work weeks between my two jobs to nothing. My mind and hands were itching to do something, anything. As many of the grocery stores started to have supply shortages and I now had a much more limited budget; I had to get creative. So, I began to cook. I started slowly with fancy coffee drinks and eggs and moved to bread and pasta. Nationally people were baking bread so I thought well I’ve got the time I might as well try. What started as something I had learned to dread suddenly became my day’s highlight. I was cooking again! The dance of moving through my small kitchen. The clank of pots and pans and knives and wooden spoons in metal bowls playing in time to Otis Redding. The joy of tasting a recipe and nailing both the flavors and the serving size (many recipes serve 4-6, I live alone). It was truly a full-body experience. I soon realized that I hadn’t repeated any meals in about two weeks and decided to challenge myself to go as long as possible without repeating a recipe, if a meal required a repeat that portion simply didn’t count in my tally. I ended up making over 225 different recipes. -
2021-02
Hoping for Good Days
It was several months since my last day in a classroom. March 13, 2020 to be exact. Friday the 13th. The previous school year we were told it was to be a possible 2 week break that ended up going until the end of the year. What was to become of the next school year of 2020-21? I tried to stay optimistic over the summer and enjoy the time spent with family. We were lucky to have each other and have a yard and house where we felt safe to be quarantined. I knew a lot of my students were not so lucky in that they lived in apartments with several family members. Still I wanted to be optimistic about the upcoming year. As the start of school year date got closer, it was apparent we were to continue online teaching via zoom. I felt I was pretty tech savvy and could integrate technology enough to keep my students engaged, but it was still challenging. I taught incoming freshman 9th grade students. They did not get the “new students” experience of coming to my school and meeting and greeting all the faculty and each other. Initially the expectation was to have all students have cameras on, and for the most part in that Fall semester, my students did. But then towards the break students started getting sick, parents were losing their jobs, some even lost family members. People were sad. We barely made it into the winter break with students attending “online”. I was fortunate to have most of my students log in but in other classes students stopped showing up. And if they did log in, cameras were off and it felt like talking to a void. Were they still paying attention? Were some of them just logging in and doing other things like playing video games or sleeping? I was frustrated, but also empathetic knowing for a lot of these students survival, not academics, was their priority during the time. After the winter break and a return to zoom teaching, it was a palpable sadness. There were people who had lost loved ones, and my students were depressed. I could feel the grief and sorrow through the screen and sometimes I would weep after my classes ended for the day. I had to maintain a persona of optimism for my students online and also keep encouraging their academic pursuits. I have never had such a challenging teaching year like the 2020-21 year. The sensory experience I am recalling is sometime in February of 2021. It was the second semester of school, back from the break and many people had a rough time of the holiday season with loneliness, fear, and loss. I don't know how I came up with the idea but I thought about students sharing playlists with the class. I would review them, and if we had a test together on zoom I would play songs on the background. One particular song I found was “Good Days” by SZA. It was not my style of music, but I knew it was what my students listened to. The day I played that song I started to get a lot of feedback from the zoom chat from all my classes about that song. By this time a majority of students had stopped showing themselves on camera and/or stopped talking, however Good Days sparked something in my students. The intro of the song is very melodic and serene. It is one of those songs that sounds very sweet, but is very sad at the same time. I could tell by the response of my students that it hit a nerve. A few of them began to speak up again in class, a few would turn their camera on again. And of course, I had several sending messages after class thanking me for the song. This happy/sad song connected me again to my students that I thought I had lost over winter break. It gave me a little hope again, and I think it gave some of them hope too. Now, whenever I hear Good Days by Sza it reminds me of those lonely online zoom classes in February and how we were all feeling a bit sad, but a simple song gave us all a bit of hope that the future was to have some Good Days ahead. Lyrics to Good Days All the while, I'll await my armored fate with a smile Still wanna try, still believe in (good days) Good days, always (good days) Always inside (always in my mind, always in my mind, mind) Good day living in my mind -
2020-03
Bells Continued to Ring
When the pandemic began, I was finishing up my last few months of student teaching. My mornings included talking to students about their day and weekend plans they had; however, once the pandemic started that changed drastically. The students were gone and the silence began. Highschools are customarily, a loud and busy environment; yet, overnight the students were gone and there was nothing at school but silence. The halls were empty, my classroom was empty, the whole school was empty apart from a small group of staff. For the rest of the year, I would go to school and sit in my classroom alone in almost complete silence. No face to face interaction with students or even other staff. As a teacher, this was taxing on my mental health. From one day to the next my entire occupation had been flipped upside down. I never saw my students again. I still wonder what became of them. The one thing that sticks in my mind from that period is the sound of dismissal bells at school. For some reason the bells continued to ring even though there were no students. Everyday when that first hour bell would ring I would remember that no students were coming. This was a reminder everyday that the world had changed. I recorded the sound of dismissal bells at my highschool. Two years after the pandemic started, this sound still reminds me of teaching during the pandemic.