Items

• 2020-11-25

  My Bed

  I never imagined spending the end of my high school senior year in bed. I always expected and looked forward to the social gatherings, late nights with friends, prom, graduation, spending time with my class, all the things you see on TV. Instead, the class of 2020 and the rest of the world switched to online learning/work, hand sanitizer, masks, and social distancing, along with the constant fear of the COVID-19 virus. Cases rose, along with time at home and persistent anxieties. Will I get it? What if I spread it to my parents? Or worse, my grandparents? School stopped. Work stopped. My family stayed home, isolated. Due to the complete halt of social interaction, and nothing else to do, I ended up spending too much time alone in my bed. My bed, like many teenagers, has always been one of my favorite places and most frequent visitation. But how much time in bed is too much? Due to COVID time, my bed transformed from being a place I slept and left every day, to a type of addiction. A place I was bound to and could not escape. There were some positives to being in my bed during these unprecedented times. At first, spending time in my bed was nice, I got more sleep than in the normal school year, and I got to relax during the day. My bed before COVID had always been a place for me after school or work to go and be alone. It’s a warm inviting space where I don’t have to impress society or anyone. It is like an oasis, with comfy blankets and pillows, lit candles around. I like to bring my cat into my room after a hard day and cuddle in bed with her if she allows it. Although my relationship with my bed changed during COVID, my relationship with the rest of my family did not. On a positive note, my bed and other beds in my house became gathering spaces. A joy of lockdown was that my older sister came home and stayed with us for two months. One of our favorite things to do together is to watch movies and tv shows with my mom too. My bed became a space for all of us to be together and watch movies and chit chat. We would all be so happy that we were all reunited again. Because we never expected this to happen. Once hours without school turned from weeks to months, time in my bed increased way more than usual. I had way too much time to spend in bed, and nothing to do in the outside world. My bed had once been a place for me to go when I craved alone time. But once I had nowhere but my house to be, my bed became the only place I spent time. I laid there for hours on my phone lazily. During my time in bed, I felt lazy and bored. I was unproductive and unmotivated. I wanted to go to places with people. I started to hate my bed, and hate what I had become because of my bed. At one point it got so bad that I was spending so much time lying in bed that my back started having problems from slouching so much. Strange right? That really was a sign for me to get off my butt and do something. I changed my attitude and realized I had to get out of bed and go outside. When the weather got warmer and sunnier, I was finally able and wanted to leave my room and go spend time outside. This allowed me to feel the fresh air and feel productive outside in the real world. Being able to leave my bed and return to it later in the day, made my bed rewarding again, instead of never leaving and being mad at myself and the bed for drawing me in. A bed is meant to be somewhere to sleep. But for me, during the pandemic, it was a place to relax, read, socialize, be warm, watch tv, even eat. However, because of its spell on me, I needed to learn to interact with my bed with caution and moderation, for my sanity. Like anything during these COVID times, my bed and I had good experiences and bad experiences. I had to learn how I needed to cope with my emotions concerning my bed. Before COVID, my bed was a place for me to unwind and feel better. But during the lockdown, I realized that my relationship with other people was better for my mental health, over spending time in bed. Overall, it provided me a safe space to rekindle my energy. But because of the circumstances, it might have been too much. It inhibited me from leaving it like I was tied and stuck. But it also made me grateful. To feel comfortable and safe in my room away from the uncertainty of current times.