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  2021-04-23

  The Paradox in the Pandemic

  The numbers increase as time goes on. Every month more people catch COVID-19 and more pass away each second that ticks away on the clock. Allah calls out to me. He calls for me to pray. And yet I have never prayed before. Mosques closed for teaching. COVID-19 restrictions on how many people may enter the sacred place to pray. Yet I feel a deeper connection to Allah than I have in all my life. Months of distracting myself from the world around; I turn off the news and look away when I hear the numbers. I bury myself in books and my studies to try and numb the pain. How horrible it is to feel that any time I leave my house I could have just risked someone’s life. The coffee shop stays open and selling more than before because we are “essential.” And to Allah I cry out: “Why now? What have we done to deserve this pain?” But He stays patient and continues to guide me. “Come to me my child. Come pray. You will see.” The aching in my chest does not go away. How? How can I pray there is nobody to teach me, nobody to lend a hand? Countless hours searching and researching trying to find the path that He has set out for me. I make mistakes and try again. I fail and fall but I always get pushed back up to try once more. We are divided and far apart from one another. Ramadan and Eid spent alone. Praying alone. Learning alone. Always isolated and alone. However, not once did I feel lonely. Like the warmth and weight of a blanket wrapped around me He guides me. I pray and pray for those around me like millions do around the globe. I pray for myself, for my family, for those I will never get the chance to meet. I pray and I hope for this to go away. For the pain to heal and for us to come together once more. A community rebuilt in the ashes and from sorrow we get stronger. Allah please accept our prayers.