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  2020-07-10

  Payapa lang

  I took this picture of me - a selfie if you will - while enjoying an old Filipino music in my study room. I envisioned July as the month where lockdowns are lifted and everything is in control, but it was not the case as the government [continuously] reports spiking increases of active cases. Because of the news of increasing cases, government inaction and the recent battle of a media giant, I was having an anxiety and panic attacks. I realized that my hands were shaking, I have cold sweats and my body is trembling I [couldn't] breathe, I decided to play the song "Mabagal". All throughout I was enjoying the song, it gives me comfort, I decided to take a picture of my self enjoying the breeze behind the windows while the music play, this is the only time I felt peace in times of uncertainty. A picture of me at peace while there is fear of unknown and uncertainty behind me.