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Kathryn Jue
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2021-11-28
JOTPY High School Reflection
This is the optional extra credit assignment given to students at Garden Grove High School in Orange County, CA to complete over Thanksgiving Break. For context, these students are juniors who experienced school closure during their freshman year, spent their entire sophomore year over Zoom, and did not set foot on campus again until the first day of school this year. Garden Grove High is a Title One school that serves a population where 65% of students are identified as economically disadvantaged. The ethnic/racial breakdown of the student body is: 50% Hispanic, 41% Asian, and 6% White. -
2021-07-16
A Tale of Two Regions
Since we aren’t getting on a plane any time soon, we road tripped it up to Tahoe. Taking advantage of having our car, we decided to drive out to places we would normally never visit, such as Sutter’s Mill and Donner Pass. As my husband called it, it was the Huell Howser California Gold tour. Something that was immediately noticeable was the rarity of people wearing masks around Tahoe and through the desert. Though mask mandates were lifted in CA June 15 for the vaccinated, I’d say about 50% of people still wear them (including my family) where we live. However, out in the more rural deserts and mountain areas, there was not a mask to be seen. I thought it was extremely interesting at Sutter’s Mill, which is a state park a couple of hours from Sacramento. The Park Rangers all wore masks indoors, and signs indicated unvaccinated must wear masks indoors. However, the tour of Sutter’s is all outdoors, with the exception of going into some of the historic buildings. I was a little nervous because I worried about my unvaccinated children going on a tour with possibly unvaccinated strangers who wouldn’t have to wear masks. However, when the tour began, I noticed all the families (all strangers to us) on the tour were wearing masks. Our docent asked each family where they were from and we were all from Los Angeles or Orange County. We all remained masked the whole tour. Our docent even commented “you know you can take off your masks outside?” He said it really nicely, but everyone remained masked. This regional difference was extremely interesting to me. I suppose Southern Californians may have a different way of thinking because our case counts were so incredibly high during the winter that they built field hospitals and ambulances were unable to pick up patients. Maybe that has made us more cautious. It was a literal war zone with the enemy being an invisible virus. Or maybe it’s just that every family on our tour took the same kind of vacation we did for the same reason - wanting a vacation but wanting to be outdoors, avoiding planes, and being able to safely distance. Donner State Park also had COVID protocol still in effect, with their interactive displays turned off. -
2021-07-18
Shifting Back
My family was certainly filled with hope and a bit of relief when our county’s numbers began to steady at 30 cases a day with a positivity rate below 0.5 by June. However, we didn’t let down our guard. My husband’s best friend since childhood is an MD with the county and in May told us the Delta variant is here. We asked what that means and he said “well, outdoors you should be okay, but wear a mask indoors and don’t let anyone breathe on you.” He said this knowing we’re vaccinated and that our two kids, one being his goddaughter, are not old enough to get the vaccine. Numerous times since summer started I ruefully told my husband and mom “enjoy it while we can” because I think we all knew a spike would come once California lifted its COVID restrictions on June 15. It’s taken only a few weeks for LA to return to 1000 cases per day, and where we live in OC, daily cases have jumped from 30 a day to 150 a day in two weeks. Yesterday, the case count was 250 for one day. The variant is here. LA is taking swift action. Effective today, LA’s mask mandate is back in place for unvaccinated and vaccinated alike. It was immediately noticeable when we picked up dinner at King’s Hawaiian. The outdoor tent is up for to go orders pick up and mask mandate signs are posted. Honestly, if people just accepted the practice of wearing masks, I really do think it could help us return to pre June 15 levels. The report I read this week indicated that 100% (which sounds crazy, but it was cited) of the COVID hospitalizations in LA county are unvaccinated. It’s so strange to me that it is the unvaccinated who are so against wearing masks. I’m honestly wearing my mask to protect them, statistics seem to indicate if I get Delta, it should be mild. I just wish my kids could get the vaccine. Oh well, here’s to hoping the mask mandate comes back in the OC, too. -
2021-08-03
Quarantine Hair
Christmas 2019 we gifted my kids (and mom) a Disney cruise for August 2020. Our plan was for my daughter and I to chop our hair right before the cruise. The cruise never happened, and neither did our haircuts. Fast forward to a year later. My hair dresser now works from out of her home, having lost her shop. Knowing that she is vaccinated and only sees one household at a time, I decided to finally get our hair cut. My baby’s first haircut only took (almost) 11 years! It was refreshing to say good bye to our quarantine hair, if only we could say goodbye to COVID, too. -
2021-07-23
First Race in a Pandemic World
Terrified, I put on my shoes and walked over to the canyon. I’m always nervous before a race - where will I place? What if I can’t finish? It’s adrenaline talking. This time, it was different. For the first time since early 2020, I was competing in a race, outside, with other people. When I signed up, the case count was the lowest it had been since the original shut down. I was nervous, but excited. Then Delta exploded. As the numbers climbed, I tried running with a mask that week. Two days before the race, I made it 3 miles and had to take it off. This was the Hot and Hilly 10K I was prepping for. It’s over 90 degrees and the course is all hills. I knew I wouldn’t be able to do the mask the whole time. I also knew the course had narrow parts, wide enough for only one runner. What happened if I got in a group? Was being outside enough to dissipate the virus, like current advice suggests? Or is Delta more potent? And is there a difference between standing outside unmasked and running full speed unmasked in a group of other people roughly and heavily drawing air in and out? As I waited for the gun, I wore my mask. I was the only one and that didn’t bother me. In fact, I was a little self conscious that I would be judged but I think everyone was just focused on the trail. When the race began, there was a natural small bottleneck. I left my mask on. About a mile in, I had to take it off. Luckily, the crowd had thinned. Since I am not an elite runner, I wasn’t doing the 7 minute miles of the head of the pack. On the flip, I also am not slow. I was able to find a sweet spot where I could see the front of the pack in the distance, but was far enough ahead of the average runners that I was not in a crowd. Overall, it was amazing to be racing again. I love competition. For over a year, I ran only on the treadmill. There was part of me that wondered if my ability have disappeared during the quarantine. I came in 4th place in my division and am beyond excited with that placement. I also was relieved knowing I was done with the crowds for the day. I spent two weeks secretly nervous I contracted COVID and am happy to report that the vaccine seems to have worked for me. I have another race scheduled for October and am already feeling nervous. Our hospitalization rate has shot to nearly 500 and the ICU is two away from 100. Will my next race being outdoors be enough to protect my family, especially my two unvaccinated kids at home? Will my vaccine even still be effective by October? My second shot will have been administered seven months prior at that point. -
2021-08-06
New Normal
We didn’t leave the house for a year. Not exaggerating. Search my name in this archive, you will see we didn’t leave the house, nor was anyone allowed inside. However, when cases dropped this spring, we began to venture outside, albeit with masks. Now with cases on the rise, it becomes such a difficult choice. The adults are vaccinated, so we should (hopefully) be semi protected. But the kids aren’t. But do we want to lock them inside for another 18 months? Obviously not. So we’re trying to embrace a new normal. We still haven’t gone to any home get togethers - too dangerous with Delta, but we are carefully enjoying the outdoors. The zoo is all outdoors and spread out, so that has been feasible. Disneyland has been replaced by the beach, which we’re very lucky to live so close to. The beach isn’t scary - there’s plenty of room to spread out. But what do you do when your former teacher and current co worker who adores your kids invites you to school to share in a tennis picnic? My kids LOVE “gung gung” (Chinese for grandpa), and he loves teaching them tennis (he’s been the tennis coach for almost 30 years). There is no one size fits all answer. I decided because he was vaccinated, the event was completely outdoors, most of the tennis players are vaxxed and my kids could wear their masks that the risk was worth it. And it was, they had a great afternoon. So this is the new normal. Weighing the risks and making decisions that 18 months ago never would have been given a second thought. -
2021-06-29
Oops, You Were Blind?
Before he started kindergarten in 2019, I took my son to the ophthalmologist - I knew he didn’t see correctly. My mom is legally blind without lenses, I am -8, so genetics are not in his favor. They honestly thought I was crazy at first because he was barely 5, but they confirmed he was seeing 125 out of his left eye. His eyes were balancing so the plan was to check the next summer. Then COVID hit. There was no way I was taking my kid to Los Angeles in the height of a pandemic. Throughout the year of virtual learning that followed, my son covered one eye, complained his eyes were tired and watched tv from one inch away. Even his piano teacher through his FaceTime lessons saw how close he had to get to his sheet music and politely asked “does he need glasses?” When numbers finally dropped in June, I took him in, knowing he’d need glasses. What I didn’t know is how bad it was. My sweet little guy couldn’t even read the giant E on the eye chart! I guess it’s good none of us realized how bad his vision was or else I might have broke quarantine to help him. As his eye doctor said “-4. That’s quite a prescription for a first pair of glasses.” I’ll always wonder if the year of online learning expedited his decline to seeing 475, but I’m relieved we had a brief break in the high case count to allow us to secure him glasses before the new school year. It makes me wonder what other conditions have gone unchecked for people as they’ve avoided routine appointments due to fears of infection. It’s really a lose lose situation. You avoid the doctor to protect against Covid or you risk Covid to get a check up. -
2021-06-10
School’s Out, I Finally Met My Teacher
The day after school ended, we returned all the materials to my kid’s elementary school. While there, we were able to thank my son’s first grade teacher for all her work throughout the year in person. I will be forever in awe of this woman, keeping six year olds engaged over Zoom for a year. She is a testament to teaching and you could feel her genuine love for her students through the screen. There was something so bittersweet about my son’s first face to face meeting with her being after school ended. Such a bizarre way to begin an academic career. -
2021-08-11
Sorry, Not Sorry. Vaccines Are Necessary.
In two years of everything under the sun becoming political, it’s not a shock that vaccines are yet another unnecessarily politicized topic. Of course, unlike masks, which were not a part of our daily routine prior to 2020, vaccinations and anti-vaxxers are not new. And honestly, if my two elementary aged kids could be vaccinated I would care a lot less about anti-vaxxers. I think they’re selfish, but for the most part, they’d be hurting themselves (and the immuno compromised that cannot be vaccinated.) But my kids can’t be vaccinated and I have been trying to stay positive knowing next week they’re walking into a classroom with only a mask for protection. I asked my mom “what is their teachers are unvaccinated?” I mean, every unvaccinated person poses a risk - what is the adult in charge is an anti-vaxxer and anti-masker? So it was with complete and utter shock and total relief to get the official word that teachers in the state of CA must be vaccinated. It’s a shame that this seals the fate on governor Newsom’s recall. I don’t love the guy, but I sure as heck want him more than a DeSantis and considering the last time CA recalled a governor, we ended up with the Terminator in charge…well. With Florida’s teachers being threatened with losing their pay over mandating masks, I am relieved to live in a state taking the opposite approach. Call us Commiefornia, I don’t care. Like I’ve been saying for a year and a half, this is a public health crisis. This isn’t about politics, it’s about an invisible virus that is continuing to mutate and spread. And as a teacher, I truly believe it’s my responsibility to do anything to help mitigate the spread. -
2021-08-11
There is No Good Decision
My daughter is very athletic. I don’t make that statement lightly. I do not lie and I will look you in the eye and tell you my son is not an athlete. But my daughter was born with a natural ability for sports. Anything she tries, even recreationally, she excels at. When she was 3, she began gymnastics and in first grade, she joined the competitive team. It’s not just that she’s athletic, she works extremely hard. So making her sit out an entire season due to COVID was not an easy decision. I do not regret it, but it doesn’t mean it wasn’t hard. When this season began in May, we cautiously allowed her to return, fully masked. The cases were down and the coaches wore masks. We decided the risk was worth it for her mental health. Then the COVID restrictions were lifted June 15. My daughter became the only one in the full gym with a mask. We hoped for the best and have been lucky so far. But the cases are exploding. They are higher now than this time last year. What do we do? All her friends are from the gym. Truly. She doesn’t have any close friends at school because most of her time is spent at the gym. Can we take that away from her again? She worked out every single day of quarantine to stay in shape and she did. Can we look at her and basically say her work was for nothing? There is no good choice. What is more important? Protecting her physically or giving her the part of her life that secures her mental health? At the end of last week, I was seriously considering pulling her as the daily cases rose to 1,000+. However, in a move that shocked me knowing the clientele and position of the gym on this entire pandemic, even her gym has reinstated masks for all coaches. This made me feel maybe 5% better. Her one on one session is also from 8 - 9pm, which I was bummed at at first - so late for a kid! But I quickly realized we’re the only ones in the gym that late, which lowers my anxiety a bit. So we’re going to take the risk for now and allow her to continue going. I just hope it’s not a decision we regret. -
2021-07-10
Manzanar
As a historian, US History teacher, and mother of two Asian-American children, I make a point to expose my children to all aspects of America’s history: good, bad, and ugly. Thanks to COVID, we had the opportunity to show the kids one of the country’s ugliest moments - Japanese internment. The desolate desert in the middle of our home state is an area I had never driven through before COVID, despite having lived in CA my entire life and being (supposedly) 8th or 9th generation Californian on my dad’s side. However, there is no way I’m putting my family on an airplane during a pandemic, which limits vacation options. So into the car for an eight hour drive to Tahoe. A drive that goes right past Manzanar, the Japanese American World War II concentration camp. Unlike last year, when we made the same drive for the first time in my life, the exhibits, buildings, and visitor center were open with masks and social distancing. As we stood in the barrack in the 106 degree temperature, I told my kids to never forget how uncomfortable they felt and to consider the fact that they were feeling awful from the heat as tourists. I told them to imagine living in this heat as a prisoner though you committed no crime except having ancestors from Japan. They may be young, but they are old enough to understand human rights. Visiting Manzanar was overwhelming. I am not a very emotional person, but I was taken aback by the fact that this history is so recent. My best friend’s dad was born in Tule Lake, where Japanese-Americans who refused to take the forced loyalty oath were sent. That is only one generation before mine. Seeing and experiencing second hand through family and friends the hatred directed toward Asian-Americans during this pandemic made the experience in Manzanar extra raw. Though I refuse to thank COVID for anything because I think that’s a bit tone deaf for all who have lost and suffered during this pandemic, I am grateful that the circumstances that led us to drive to Tahoe instead of fly led us also to a place of reflection on prejudice and race, especially in the climate of today. -
2021-05-27
Slower Pace of Life
It’s probably a bit tiresome for my best friend when I say “oh man, we haven’t been there in over a year” because for our family, that is everything. Every week, we open up a little more, cautiously, as our case rates continue to decline (under 50 new cases in our county today!) Disneyland, our go to hangout is still out of the question, so we returned to the beach. It’s crazy to think for over a year, it sat 20 minutes away, so close but so far. I feel like COVID not only has made us more appreciative but has also helped us embrace a slower pace of life. Two years ago, a weekday would have seen me at school AP reviews or department meetings, my mom and I coordinating pick up and drop offs for Kumon, gymnastics, piano lessons. I would have squeezed in a Pilates class before picking up my daughter from the gym. My husband wouldn’t be in the equation at all, April and May are full travel months - we barely see him. But here we are. Our pace of life is much slower. My husband is still working remotely, and will probably continue to for at least half the week for the rest of the foreseeable future. Kumon and piano seem simpler to do now that we’re all home. Even gymnastics seems less stressful. If everyone is home on a weekday at 3, why not hit the beach? I know our lives will inevitably speed up. That’s the rat race that is Orange County and I do love our lives. We like being busy, why else would someone live here? Yet, I hope the togetherness we’ve had in the past year and the realization that maybe we should just take more time to run around the beach, get excited at finding a Sea Hare, and just watch the waves without an agenda or a clock will last beyond this pandemic. -
2021-05-06
APUSH - Online Learning Edition
The first time I saw over 75% of my 171 APUSH students in person was the morning of the test. One girl brought me a bouquet and said “I wanted to give you this today because it will probably be the only time I see you.” What a strange, strange year. The kids I teach are my life, I usually can tell you at least 10 specific weird things about each of them. I’m embarrassed to say I can’t this year - how do you REALLY get to know a kid over Zoom? Still, I am touched by the level of connection we were able to make. And I was amazed that out of 171 kids, 170 came before the test to say hi and pick up their goodie bag. After the test, they rushed back to see me and tell me how they felt. For that moment, it was like any other year. I truly feel I gave them the very best of me, I never “phoned it in” and even this week, in our last five days of school, we’re doing modern topics until the end. But I will always feel guilty. Because despite giving my best, I know it doesn’t live up to a normal in person year. Still, their happy faces and kind words show that despite my own internal disappointment, the kids are alright and it wasn’t a total loss for them. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to the fall, having my tables back and full classes five days a week. Yet, these kids who I shared a Zoom screen with for 180 days will always hold a special place in my heart. I may not know them at the level I usually do, but their perseverance and diligence in ever changing circumstances will also motivate me to continue to give the best of me. -
2021-05-22
The Surprise Degree
When I first began my MA program in Fall 2019, I thought it would be really, really funny to not tell anyone I was pursuing a second Master’s. I figured at some point, I would slip and end up mentioning it. But instead, all our lives changed with the pandemic, and since I didn’t see a person besides the four people I live with for almost 13 months, anyone discovering my graduate program was no longer even a consideration. The MA program actually helped me keep my sanity. In those first couple of months, when everything was up in the air, my courses were a constant. And then in the mundane of quarantine, they challenged my mind, distracted me, giving me something to do. Who knew the random genealogy class I took last summer would lead me to discover 1. that my biological great great grandfather died when my great grampa was only 9 2. that no one in our family knew this and assumed his step dad was his dad 3. that this mysterious biological great great grandfather was not a poor wheel maker from Germany, but was a salesman involved in some suspicious activities that involved a sister being sold (national news! In all the papers of the 1890s), a robbery and attack on him (with the ominous newspaper title “will it be murder” because he was presumed to not survive... he did), and ended with his dramatic suicide when the police were attempting to arrest him for embezzlement ... in front of my nine year old great grampa?!? How strange to think that without quarantine I would never have taken the time to research this (this investigation took over three months!) and my family would still think our ancestry on that side were German wheel makers who fled the Kaiser! When I finished my MA last month, we thought it would be funny to do a photo shoot (never did that for my other degrees) and post it on Instagram. I cannot believe the amount of comments. People were over the moon excited. I think seeing any positive surprise coming out the pandemic gives people hope. And my weird idea that it would be really funny to not tell anyone? Yeah, it was. No regrets. -
2021-04-22
Bye Quarantine Hair!
In December 2010, my husband and I made a pact with our friends, all of us either brand new parents or weeks away from becoming parents, that we’d go on a Disney Cruise together in summer of 2020. Well by planning time 2019, our friends bailed, but we were still committed. For Christmas 2019, we gifted our two kids and my mom a 7 day Disney cruise to the Caribbean. The first week of March of 2020, I went to get my hair done. I considered chopping it to my shoulders, but I told my hair dresser that I wanted to wait until July and chop it right before the cruise. I’m sure you know where this is going. Clearly, the cruise was one of earliest events to be cancelled due to the pandemic and I never went back to my hair dresser in 2020. Throughout the school year, I lamented over my waist length quarantine hair, in desperate need of a cut. Over and over I told my students “when I get vaxxed, I’m getting this chopped off since you know, no cruise.” By the end of March both my mom and I were vaccinated, but were unsure about our hairdresser. She had lost her shop during Covid - had she retired? With case counts declining significantly, we reached out to her and not only was she still doing hair inside her house, (one household at the time), but was vaccinated as well. So farewell to my quarantine hair, cut away all the fear and panic and sleepless nights of the past year and let’s start fresh. (No cruise though, my short hair and I will just hit the beach). -
2021-05-30
After 419 Days, I Took Holy Communion
I have a very deep faith. As someone extremely liberal and inclusive, I certainly do not fit the stereotype of an American Christian, and honestly, thank goodness, because I do NOT want to be associated with that. But my faith is a very large part of my identity. Though I may not vocalize it, it grounds my decisions and my approach to life. Going to church is never a chore for me, I love it. So when we had to abruptly stop attending in person in March of 2020 it was a radical change in our lives. We still logged into the streaming of the service and have hosted a mid week Bible study over Zoom every single week since the initial shutdown. But there is something about being together to hear the message, to sing, to pray. Being able to return to church in person safely has been something I’ve been praying for. It’s been a month now, we’re opting to sit outside - the inside is open, but we’re not quite ready to be indoors until more people are vaccinated or at least until our kids can be. Seeing people we haven’t seen in person for over a year almost brought me to tears our first week back and I am not a person who cries. It just felt like a relief to be home, so to speak. There are some interesting changes. No hugs or kisses at greeting, everyone stands and waves to each other. Everyone sits by household, spaced apart. And everyone wears masks. Instead of coffee and donuts there is a table with pre packaged snacks. Everyone has to sanitize their hands and have their temperature taken. There were also far fewer people than before COVID. The best part of service for me though is taking holy communion. On our first Sunday back, it had been 419 days since my last communion. Communion is such a personal part of my faith, and a time of deep reflection and thankfulness. And I am so very thankful to be back and pray that things remain safe so we can continue to meet together. -
2021-04-22
Kathryn Jue JOTPY Portfolio
In March 2020, I learned about a graduate fellowship for a project called The Journal of the Plague Year. I was intrigued because of my undergraduate work with collecting oral histories of Vietnamese refugees. I really missed doing research in my life as a classroom teacher. This Fellowship seemed to be a way of fulfilling that undefinable project I’d been looking for. When I received an invitation after applying to join the project, it was like a public history baptism by fire. I knew nothing about public history, and I learned a great deal during those five months. However, with so much uncertainty with how my school district was going to respond to COVID, and the eleventh hour decision that we would not be starting the school year in person and all the changes that went along with that, I made the difficult decision to step away from JOTPY when the summer ended. During the fall, I greatly missed the collaborative community, the curating, the debates about metadata, and the entire building of this rapid response, digital archive. This led me to join the Spring 2021 internship. I am so incredibly thankful to have been part of this internship because I learned so much additional information about public history. One of the aspects that I didn’t learn over the summer was the humanities portion of public history. The archive was so new that we really specialized in different areas, mine was building the teaching site. We did have weekly meetings that I greatly enjoyed, but they were more logistical as we tried to figure out how to best build the archive. Many of our meetings dealt with curation and the best process for that. I absolutely loved my summer team, but it was difficult for me to articulate exactly what I did when the summer was over. Going through the internship step by step, I feel far more equipped now to explain exactly what JOTPY is and the process behind it. I also was able to experience many different aspects of the archive, including curating and collecting oral histories, building a collection, writing a call for submissions, and writing public history. The two parts of this internship, aside from curation which I genuinely love doing, that I feel were most beneficial were oral histories and writing the blog post. These are both areas I would like to continue to pursue in some way, even if it not related to this particular project. I did not begin the MA program with any inkling of being part of an internship team or being part of any sort of public history project. However, JOTPY has been the single best part of my graduate program. My work with JOTPY has been a perfect marriage of my two passions, teaching and history. I love being part of a project that is accessible to the students I teach. Not only does it demonstrate to them that history transcends the walls of the classroom, it was a space they were able to be part of by sharing their own stories. I also was able to fulfill a personal desire to be part of project outside my teaching world. I love history. I am incredibly passionate about it, and I am grateful every day of my life that I get to spend my days sharing that passion with teenagers. Yet, I have been wistful for some sort of research to be part of. I love writing, and as a teacher, my writing isn’t really seen beyond the realm of the classroom. I didn’t know public history is where I could fulfill this sort of void. Overall, I am incredibly grateful to have had this experience. -
2021-04-22
CA Colleges to Require Vaccine
Numerous times in the past couple of months, we’ve been wondering if CA colleges would require the vaccine. Today it’s official - the answer is yes. To be transparent, this Californian who has friends and family employed by the UC system is extremely happy. I realize there is vaccine hesitation but I am relieved for the safety of students and staff that the universities are taking this step. And it’s not just the UC system, the Cal State system and Stanford are also instituting the same requirement (actually Stanford announced first). The UC system is often a trend setter - if it does something, other universities follow. I’m hoping this will begin a trend, not only in higher education but at the K-12 level. I know, super controversial, but schools already require other immunizations, why not this one? Public health, people! -
2021-03-27
Stop Asian Hate!
The rise in Asian hate crimes has gone hand in hand with COVID. This certainly was not helped by the previous administration continually referring to COVID as “China Flu” or “Kung Flu.” One of the more horrifying things is how close to home these incidents are happening. Just this month, there were two attacks at a local park on Asian Americans. One was on a Japanese-American Olympian, who was in training. The other was on an elderly Korean-American couple. I live in Southern CA, which has the third highest proportion of the population identifying as Asian, yet even here, racism and racially motivated violent crimes are happening. If there is any positive that is coming out of this, it is the honest conversations we’re having with our children about race. In light of George Floyd and similar situations, the immigrant population at the border, and anti-Asian crimes, our kids are engaged in an active dialogue about equity, prejudice, racism and our response to it. My children are proud to be Asian-American and seeing that pride and them use their voices, even in a small way, makes me hopeful for positive change. Like their signs say, they are proud to be Asian AND American, and to love them like people love Asian food! Oh yeah, and in this pandemic year, a reminder that they are not a virus. -
2021-04-19
She’s Back and I’m Terrified
After 400 days to the day, my daughter walked back into her gym. A competitive gymnast who has been training with the same gym since the week before she turned 3, this has been a long year. We are privileged in the sense that the hardest decision we had to make during the pandemic was not related to jobs security, hunger, or even health (beyond keeping ourselves from COVID). Our hardest choice was not allowing our daughter to return to her gym to train when they reopened in June. My husband and I knew COVID was just beginning. We knew the spike would come and the health of our family wasn’t something we were willing to risk, especially because our jobs allowed us the luxury to work from home and distance. At first, we made case rates dropping our marker of when she’d go back. Then, with the announcement of the vaccine, we decided to wait until our household was vaccinated. By the end of March, the adults of our household were vaccinated and our local case count had dropped considerably, to an infection rate percentage of 1.4%. Still, we wondered “should we just wait until she’s vaccinated?” But she’s 10, there is no vaccine being publicized for her age. How long can we keep her from her life? It’s not just the training. It’s about mental health. We’ve kept her physically safe, but she’s 10 years old and hasn’t seen a single friend in person for almost 14 months. She hasn’t shown any signs of a mental health crisis, but even if she isn’t showing anything, this has to have taken a toll on her. It was a difficult and scary choice, but my husband and I decided her mental health and emotional health are worth the risk. She is so happy. She’s had two one on one sessions with her coach and we are all shocked (and relieved) that her daily solo workouts EVERY SINGLE DAY for 400+ days now paid off. She not only kept all her skills but learned enough her skills to advance to the next level. I know her coach is shocked. I don’t think she really believed that a kid would work hard enough on her own to keep in shape. I know my daughter is very proud and very relieved to know she can compete again. And the timing is perfect - the new season starts in May, so she’ll begin in a new level with other girls she knows who also leveled up. She never acted unhappy during quarantine, but since going back, she’s seemed lighter and happier. Still, the two times she went were one on one. The beginning of May will see her going back full time, three practices a week for ten hours a week of practice. I’m happy they’re letting her keep her mask on and that the coaches are wearing masks but I’m still nervous. It’s so hard to send your kid into a situation that may lead them to contract a deadly illness. But it’s also so hard to keep your kid in a bubble. I never in a million years imagined I’d have kept my child home for 400 days. I’m a public school teacher, I’m the first person to tell you the importance of socialization. But in a pandemic, I guess my mothering deep instinct to my child overpowered anything else. I hope and pray with everything in me that we don’t regret allowing her to go back. I hope we are turning a corner in CA and that a vaccine for kids arrives soon so I can feel slightly more relaxed. -
2021-04-21
COVID Safety Squirrels
I have an incredibly imaginative six year old son. Since he was three, he has told us each day which identity he is choosing for the day: duck, bird, duckbird, squirrel, bunny, or chipmunk. (This list has grown over time). He doesn’t actually act like that type of animal, or really alter his behavior or personality at all, but will refer to himself as “Duckbird” or “Baby Bird” and expects you to refer to him as such. And every once in a while will respond with a “quack,” or whatever noise is appropriate for that animal identity. For Squirrel (who is now our “house president” - apparently he won an election none of us were privy to), there is an ongoing theme of a Squirrel Parade that shows up and disrupts everything going on. This is not something that came out of COVID, the Squirrel Parade predates it (we live next to Disneyland and in a pre-COVID life went to the park at least once a week - the kid has seen a lot of parades). However, the Squirrel Parade has definitely evolved with the pandemic. It is remarkable how COVID has seamlessly become part of a kid’s imagination. The Squirrel Parade, which always included King Squirrel, the Throwing Nuts Squirrels, and the Trumpet Squirrels among others now includes the “COVID Safety Squirrels.” When we asked my son who they are, he said they’re the squirrels that hand out masks and hand sanitizer and make sure everyone social distances. It wasn’t strange to him, just another part of the parade. I guess for little kids this isn’t strange to them. I mean, it is. But it’s also not. Just another thing to learn along with multiplication tables. Put on a mask and keep your distance, and the parade marches on. -
2021-04-15
Going Wild
I know the vaccine isn’t a golden ticket. I know you can still contract COVID. I know we don’t really know yet if a vaccinated person can spread it (which is why my kids are still on Distance Learning). And I know there are at least 30 countries where not one person has been vaccinated. I do know all of this. However, somewhere in my subconscious I am relaxing. I have not had a boba from 85 Degrees in 13 months and though my husband did bring home a Starbucks for me recently, that was pretty much it for the past year. Today, I somehow ended up with both. During our lunch walk, my bestie asked if I wanted to walk to Starbucks. We haven’t done that in over a year and I have to be honest, it felt amazing. Even though while we walked there, we said snarky stuff like “remember how we’re in a worldwide pandemic?” it still felt sort of normal. Then, my husband decided to pick up bread on the way home from 85 Degree and brought me a grapefruit tea with lychee jelly. My tastebuds are so happy and I’m barely asking myself if the person who made the drink has COVID. So I must be relaxing. Then again, I sprayed my boba cup with Lysol before touching it and dumped my Starbucks into a mug and reheated it before I drank it, soooo maybe not. -
2021-04-14
Can You Ever Tell If A Decision Is Right?
My daughter has left our neighborhood less than five times in the past 13 months. I am not exaggerating. Now that the positivity rate in our area is 1.5%, we cautiously allowed my daughter to accompany me on a one mile run. You would have thought I’d taken her to Disney World. She was happier and more relaxed than she’s been in months. But she’s not a runner. She’s a competitive gymnast who hasn’t set foot in a gym in 13 months. She’s trained virtually with a gym in Northern CA and has worked out every single day. But we know it’s not the same. We also know that it’s time to create the team for the next season. It was time to contact her gym. We can keep promising she’s coming back but at what point is it just empty words? After a lot of prayer and internal debate, we texted her coach and said it’s time for her to come back. As you can see, she was initially scared at the idea, but that was quickly replaced by excitement when she found out she is really going back. But I have a pit in my stomach. Is it safe? Her coach isn’t vaccinated. Will my daughter be one of the children who contract it and have dire consequences? Or will her brother if she brings it home? How long can you keep a kid in a bubble? She already missed an entire season. Her mental health is so important, we know going back is going to be so amazing for that. But I am still so worried about the physical. One thing that this year has shown me is that I am an adult. I mean, obviously, I’ve been an adult for 22 years. But this year - protecting not only the safety of my children but my over 65 mom and in-laws. Advocating for the health of my students over politics. It’s like the pandemic has forced me to see that I can’t look to anyone to make adult decisions, it’s me. I’m the decision maker and these decisions can be life and death. I’m the adult. COVID has stripped that security we all had (probably foolishly). I don’t think I’ll ever feel safe again the way I did before this all began. So fingers crossed that my daughter’s journey back into competitive gymnastics is one that we can make safely. -
2021-04-15
Another Victim of a COVID Economy
I have anxiety. It’s not uncommon, and I have coping mechanisms. One of the things that helps me not fixate on things out of my control is being active. So I run. And for the past six years, I have been very committed to “barre,” which is similar to Pilates. My barre studio is my respite from the world, one hour to focus just on myself and my muscles. And the supportive community is unlike any other I have been a part of (I’ve done boot camps, kickboxing, etc. and have never found anything like this.) Since exercise is crucial to my mental health, when the pandemic began, I knew I could not stop working out. Especially with a household of five suddenly being at home together 24 hours a day! I was extremely fortunate that my barre studio immediately transitioned online. In fact, all throughout this pandemic, I have held them up as my example of the exact right way to deal with this situation. They made a digital library, offered multiple daily live classes over Zoom, reopened as a hybrid. My barre classes have been the constant throughout this pandemic, especially before I returned to work in person. Up until a few weeks ago, my most consistent live interaction with adult humans not living in this house were my barre instructors and the other women in the classes. So when I opened my email and saw this message, it hit me like a ton of bricks. They couldn’t survive COVID-19. It makes sense - they had two studios before COVID and rent is not cheap in Orange County. I am, of course selfishly sad - where will I find a reasonably priced, low impact but high intensity exercise studio that is five minutes from both my daughter’s gym and our church? But my real sadness is for the small business owner who opened this studio eight years ago. She is truly passionate about physical and mental health and is probably one of the most positive people I have ever met. And in a way that doesn’t annoy you, which honestly is a gift. As people get excited about businesses reopening, it makes me reflect on how many more have had to close their doors permanently. -
2021-04-10
An Ode to my Treadmill
Today was momentous. After 13 months, I ran a tentative (but amazing) five miles outside, in my neighborhood. I’d like to say it’s because now that I’m two weeks past my second dose of vaccine and back to teaching in person full time, I feel safe. Nope. It’s actually just that my best and most reliable quarantine companion, my treadmill, died. The poor motor is toast and even after taking it apart and trying to fix it, it is beyond repair. As a competitive trail runner, my treadmill was supposed to be a backup. It was never intended for daily use. I live in Southern CA, it’s a very rare day the weather isn’t great for running. However, quarantine turned my occasional treadmill run into a daily experience, but after a year, my low end, but loyal treadmill couldn’t take any more runs. I mean, I did run a marathon on the poor thing in December (and a variety of other virtual races throughout the year). So thank you trusty treadmill for getting me through this pandemic year. Thanks for not only supporting my daily runs, but also the 9 - 15 miles walks I would take on you while grading. Thanks for letting my daughter run on you three times a week to stay in shape for competitive gymnastics. And thanks for waiting to die until two weeks after my second vaccination. And most of all, thanks for dying and forcing me back out (fully masked) into the world I love running in so much. -
2021-04-07
COVID-19 and the Brain
COVID-19 has gone through a number of classifications. First as a “flu,” then as a “respiratory disease,” then as a “vascular disease,” and is in more recent studies, as a “brain disease.” Some reports are finding that one out of three COVID-19 survivors have mental health and/or neurological issues. This not only informs us of the complexity of COVID-19, but also brings light to the need to continue medical and psychological support of COVID survivors. Some survivors are described as having PTSD, and anxiety disorders are being diagnosed in a number of survivors. Neurologically, many survivors report “brain fog” and other issues. Another unexpected toll the virus takes on those infected. -
2020-03
Survivor Corps
One of the more positive outcomes of COVID-19 has been the mobilization of people to support one another and help mitigate the spread of the virus. Survivor Corps, started by an early COVID-19 patient, is “a grassroots solution-based movement to mobilize the sharply increasing number of people affected by COVID-19 to come together, support and participate in the medical and scientific research community efforts and take a more active role in trying to mitigate this pandemic.” Organizations such as this demonstrate the best in people and our potential and desire to work toward the common goal of beating this virus. -
2021-03-16
Vaccines and Long Haulers
When it comes to COVID-19, it seems there are more questions than answers. For some COVID-19 survivors, their COVID experience didn’t end after their infection ended. These people, referred to as “long haulers” have dealt with fatigue, brain fog, muscle aches, breathing difficulties, and insomnia. However, a surprising and potentially positive development has come out of the vaccine - long haulers symptoms are disappearing! Many patients struggling with long term COVID effects are reporting these effects disappearing after receiving their vaccination. Research, of course, needs to be conducted to pinpoint why, but this seems to be another light at the end of the tunnel for so many people who have struggling with long term COVID symptoms. -
2021-04-04
Three Essex survivors recount their experiences of COVID-19
This BBC news story shares the story of three British COVID-19 survivors. All three were hospitalized and recount how weak and close to death they felt. One survivor states it has taken her six months to fully recover, while another continues to struggle with breathing and walking due to damage to his lungs. All three are grateful to have survived. -
03/31/2021
George Martinez Oral History, 2021/03/31
This oral history is with 36 year old George Martinez, who identifies as male and American Mexican. He tested positive for COVID-19 in January 2021 and shared the physical and emotional impact of having COVID-19. -
2021-03-29
Nancy Martinez Oral History, 2021/03/29
This oral history is with 35 year old Nancy Martinez, who identifies as female and Mexican. She tested positive for COVID-19 in January 2021 and shared the physical and emotional impact of having COVID-19. -
2020-06-01
High School Students Reflect on JOTPY Archive
In May 2020, my high school students reflected on the JOTPY archive, noting the submissions that most resonated with them and the least. Some also addressed what they saw as silences in the archive. I put their responses in a document for myself to help guide me as I helped build the JOTPY teaching site. However, a year after beginning to work on the project, I find their responses very insightful, particularly their recognition that the racial prejudice facing the Black and AAPI communities needs to be better highlighted. -
2021-03-23
Where Are All the Kids?
Our school has never looked better - festive flags waving, campus clean and painted, welcoming balloon arches. We were ready to re-open. But then, no one came. The message we teachers had been whispering amongst ourselves for weeks, that kids and their families do not want to come back yet, had come to fruition. Out of my 172 students, only 31 will step foot on campus, the rest will continue to logon from home. That number, 31, is expected to continue to drop as more students revert to only Distance Learning. Knowing how few students were on campus, I was surprised to see our school social media posted first day pictures. I know it was supposed to be celebratory, but I couldn’t stop laughing at the insanity of a balloon arch welcoming no one. How could our social media exclaim that we were “so happy to see students roam the halls again” and then post pictures of a completely empty school? It looks like Chernobyl. At some point, I decided to take the images, a video of an empty classroom my friend took, and my attendance roster with almost all kids marked as “Distance Learning” and put them together in a video to try and capture the mixed emotions. I alternatively feel like crying and laughing when I watch it. I really think it captures the reopening, albeit in a slightly subversive way. Of course, I really hope my admin never sees it, because I’m guessing they will not see the tongue and cheek, ironic humor in this. -
2021-03-24
Dreaming About This Day... But Now What?
Shot 2! After so many sleepless nights and moments of paralyzing fear, my husband, my 65 year old mom, and I are all officially double dosed! The day I have been praying for for months is here and I am in disbelief. But I’m also sitting here like “now what?” Are we really safe? Can I REALLY go safely and run in my canyon aside the maskless? I do trust the vaccine, but it is a huge psychological jump to suddenly trust. There’s also the issue of the two things I love most in this world - my kids. They’re not eligible for vaccines yet and I fear for them. I know, the likelihood of them having a serious complication is low, but as a person who had both the measles and scarlet fever as a kid (no, I’m not kidding), I am a walking example of the “one in a million” chance. What if they’re like me instead of their dad? I feel like I’m in a strange limbo. Definitely more hopeful than I was even a couple of months ago, but also sort of paralyzed in a sense of “what do we do now?” -
2021-03-23
"Asian and Black Americans experience racism differently. But we need to unite against hate"
In this editorial in the Los Angeles Times, Black female staff writer Sandy Banks poses the question "Now the question is: Can we join together and move forward, with white supremacy — not each other — as the enemy?" She reflects on the years of tension in Los Angeles between the Black and Asian American communities. However, she sees a common ground between the two communities in light of the anti-Asian racism and shooting of six Asian women at the hands of a White male, whose crimes were justified by a police spokesperson who was found later to have made anti-Asian social media posts. -
2021-03-11
Asian Americans Experience 'Far More' Hate Incidents Than Numbers Indicate
Stop AAPI Hate, a coalition aimed at addressing anti-Asian discrimination during the COVID-19 pandemic, received more than 2,800 firsthand reports of anti-Asian hate, including physical and verbal assaults, between March 19 and Dec. 31, 2020. However, as this article explains, many more go unreported due to obstacles such as cultural and language barriers and a distrust of law enforcement. The article also argues that the surge in assaults are partially rooted in the anti-Asian rhetoric of the previous presidential administration throughout the pandemic. -
2021-02-14
"I'm Done Downplaying My Asian American Experience"
In response to the rise in anti-Asian racism and crimes, Allure magazine reached out to six prominent Asian Americans within the beauty industry to share their experiences as Asian Americans. They share not only accounts of bullying and racism, but also how the beauty industry can help change the narrative. -
2021-03-19
Asian American Experiences With Hate
There were 3,795 firsthand complaints of racism and discrimination against Asian Americans from March 19, 2020, through the end of February 2021, according to the coalition Stop AAPI Hate. Last week, eight people -- six of whom were Asian women -- were killed in the Atlanta shootings at three spas. The incident shook up many in the Asian American and Pacific Islander (AAPI) community. While the past year has magnified the hate, it's also inspiring some Asian Americans to stop being silent and speak out about their experiences. CNN asked Asian Americans to share their stories. CNN received more than 300 responses, and this article shares some of these stories. They recount fear, violent attacks, racial slurs, losing businesses, being told to "go back to your country," and the scapegoating that has happened to the AAPI community. There is also a desire with the AAPI to speak out and encourage others to, too. -
2020-10-05
Asian American students discuss experience during COVID-19 pandemic
Long-standing stereotypes and new pandemic-related misconceptions against Asians and Asian Americans still affect their day-to-day lives. University students of East Asian descent say they’ve felt alienated and scared during the COVID-19 pandemic. Since the pandemic began, hate crimes against Asians in the U.S. have increased and stricter regulations have been enforced against international students, particularly those from China. Since the spread of COVID-19 from Wuhan, China, Asians have been strongly connected to the virus in the public sphere. President Donald Trump has called COVID-19 the “Chinese Virus” and “kung flu” — associating Asians with the spread of the virus. -
2021-03-21
‘Asian-American businesses are dealing with two viruses’
Reeling from racist incidents, many are hurting financially during COVID-19. The Atlanta-area spa shootings of eight people, six of whom were Asian women, have drawn renewed attention to anti-Asian incidents that have grown in frequency during the pandemic. As documented incidents of harassment, assault and discrimination against Asian Americans have escalated during COVID-19, many groups within the community have also faced heightened financial strain. Advocates say it’s beyond time to acknowledge and take action on both. -
2020-09-17
'You have Chinese virus!'
The Stop AAPI Hate Youth Campaign, which interviewed nearly 1,000 young Asian American adults across the country about their experiences with racism during the coronavirus pandemic found that 1 in 4 Asian American youths experience racist bullying. Discrimination in the form of physical and verbal attacks often also include questioning the identity of Asians as American, with statements such as "go back to where you came from." -
2020-06-25
'I Will Not Stand Silent.' 10 Asian Americans Reflect on Racism During the Pandemic and the Need for Equality
Asian Americans recount their experiences of the racism they face, being scapegoated as the cause of the virus. The aggression come in the forms of racial slurs, rude behavior, and physical violence. Many cite the rhetoric of Donald Trump and his insistence to refer to COVID-19 as the "Chinese flu" or "Kung flu" as justifying such behavior. These stories help illustrate the difficult experiences within the AAPI community. -
2020
Asian American Experiences of Racism during COVID-19
Over the past few months, the rise in xenophobic actions, racism, and violence against the AAPI community have been on the rise. Mainstream and fringe social media have perpetuated stereotypes and have scapegoated Asians as the cause of COVID-19. This rise in race and ethnically motivated hate happens alongside police brutality and anti-Black racism. Educators and parents should educate themselves and open conversations with their children and students about anti-racism. -
2020-07-01
Many Black and Asian Americans Say They Have Experienced Discrimination Amid the COVID-19 Outbreak
About four-in-ten U.S. adults say it has become more common for people to express racist views toward Asians since the pandemic began. Asian and Black Americans are more likely than other groups to report negative experiences because of their race or ethnicity since the COVID-19 outbreak began. -
2021-02-13
Protect Asian American Communities
Cries from within the Asian American community call for protection as the amount of hate crimes against the AAPI community continues to rise. -
2021-03-24
Hate Crime at "Stop Asian Hate" Rally
At a "Stop Asian Hate" rally in Los Angeles over the weekend, a man yelling racial slurs drove his car through a red light to target Asian and Pacific Islander protesters in a crosswalk. The incident is being investigated as a hate crime and is another example of the rising incidents and attempted incidents of violence against the AAPI community. -
2021-03-02
The 128th Day, aka Day One
For the first time in 374 days, I taught from my classroom today. It is the 128th day of school, we have only one quarter left. As nervous as we are about our community and the COVID risk level, I feel very positive and relieved to be back. COVID numbers have dropped considerably, and though I haven’t always seen eye to eye with my district in the way this entire pandemic has been handled, at the end of the day, I really feel like the right decisions were made Compared to neighboring districts, I feel our safety standards exceed the norm. It is strange still - the largest in person class I will have is seven students and the smallest is zero! Many families in our community have opted to continue distance learning through the rest of the school year, which I understand. We made the same choice for our two kids! Still, it was nice for the first time in over a year to wake up and have somewhere to go. Even though on one hand it seems ridiculous to Zoom an entire class of kids with two kids in the classroom who are sitting far away from me with headphones on and are logged into also the same Zoom meeting, I did feel re-energized to just be back in my classroom. I don’t think I have a greater prayer right now than for the vaccines to continue to work and for the adolescent and pediatric trials to successfully run their course. Wouldn’t it be incredible to have the kids vaccinated by fall? I know it will not be a reality for all students, but I think that piece of the puzzle will be a big part in mitigating the spread. In the meantime, I’ll continue to follow the pleas of the SOS sign that is taped all over the school. Indeed, let’s save our school year and the next one, too! -
2021-03-21
Don’t Give Me COVID
For the past year, my husband has been the only one to do errands to keep the risk low. Anytime he went out, he showered and put his clothes in the laundry. No one has stepped foot inside our house in over a year. It may see extreme, but more than once during COVID, Southern CA was the country’s hotspot. We have been extremely cautious, and with both the death rates and people within our own circle who weren’t cautious getting infected during the winter spike, I do not regret our decision. Now numbers are thankfully declining and, even more significant, my mom (who lives with us) has received both doses of the vaccine and my husband and I should receive our second doses next week. Slowly, our lives will hopefully be able to open up a bit. But the moment captured here reminds me that the shift may not be as easy for our kids. My son, who hasn’t had a play date or left this street in months, flattened himself against the wall and refused to move when my mom came back from a Target curbside pick up. She didn’t even get out of the car but my son was terrified that she’d give him COVID. It’s going to be a long process to make them feel safe again. -
2021-03-19
Wait, Do I Remember How to Drive?
As I was making my list of things to have for going back to work in person for the first time in over a year, I asked myself “wait, do I remember how to drive?” On March 16, 2020, I drove to my classroom under the impression we would be working from school without our students until school reopened for the kids after spring break. By the time I got there, everything had changed. We had a quick full staff meeting telling us to take everything we need home, check our email later, and that everyone was to stay home indefinitely. I have not worked from my school site since. So, I drove home, showered, and put my keys where I always do. They remained there for 368 days. Tonight at dusk, realizing that my commute is coming back in two days, I grabbed my keys and made my husband ride shotgun. I was actually really nervous, because what if you can forget to drive at age 40? I also realized I did not drive a single day of my 39th year, which is sort of a cool statistic. I timed my drive for dusk because I teach zero period, and due to daylight savings it will still be dark when I begin my commute Monday morning. I am extremely happy to report that driving is a skill that sticks with you - especially important in Southern CA, where we drive EVERYWHERE. I’m still a little anxious for Monday morning. Not only will I be back to work in person for the first time, but my commute will be the first time I have been completely alone in over a year. Sure, when I teach remotely, I am upstairs alone in the room, but everyone else is home doing similar things in other rooms. When I run on the treadmill, though I have my headphones in, people mill in and out. I have not been totally alone this entire quarantine. I imagine my 30 minute commute will be either completely anxiety inducing or end up being the most relaxing and best part of my day! *Disclaimer: I am NOT flipping off the camera, that’s my pinky, I’m throwing a Shaka. -
2021-03-17
A Child’s Reflection
We’ve had my 10 year daughter journal her thoughts during the past year from time to time, and they’ve ranged from mundane (“we made a fort”) to outraged (“Black people are being hurt in this country and not being heard”), so I was curious what her reflection on a year in quarantine would be. Interestingly, her reflection is overall positive. This surprised me a bit, since she is doing online learning through the end of the school year, missed an entire season of competitive gymnastics and has not had a Girl Scout meeting in person in over a year. I’ll admit I’m relieved that her inner thoughts are about Minecraft, playing in our flooded backyard, and continuing to practice gymnastics at home rather than focusing on all that she’s missed. It makes me think that though this year has impacted my kids that to them, their childhood is still pretty normal. Now I just have to break it to her that when she returns to in person instruction next year, she won’t be able to listen to her music during class!