Items

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  2020-05-09

  Window

  I am including this selection of two photos of my bedroom window, as this has been the dominant view and my sole saving grace throughout lockdown. The photo on the left was taken in my first week of lockdown on the twenty third of March, which was the first week that I began to stay at home as I am asthmatic and was very concerned about my own health making me more vulnerable. The second photo was taken on the first of June, and marks ten weeks since my own ‘lockdown’ began, I have somewhat lost track of the various stages of lightening of restrictions as I was still mostly avoiding going out up until the point when the second photo was taken. In many ways my asthma and anxiety made this experience pretty traumatising, I stopped walking my dog because I people kept patting her and I had too much anxiety about the conflict of constantly asking people not too, and I was worried about the contact risk to myself from people touching my dog. After the rate of community transmission stabilised, I felt safer going out to places, but then I found the secondary anxiety of people behaving in rude and hostile ways towards me in public due to my obvious coughing or wheezing from asthma after I had an obvious asthma attack in Officeworks. My isolation has thus been pretty intense and long lasting compared to some others and combined with anxiety has induced an intense sensation of feeling trapped in my bedroom. The access to sunlight and fresh air through this window, as well as my beautiful view has been a literal visual lifeline, I found myself taking lots of photos of the window and my view. In many ways I feel like this has made me far more attentive than I have ever had the opportunity to be to the changes between night and day, and the slow seasonal change into winter.
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  2020-04-17

  Second Adolescence

  This photo is of my little brother, who is sixteen this year, as we were spending time together on the balcony of our house. This was out of sheer desperation in terms of getting out of the house, even though it is freezing outside at this time of year in the afternoons. For two months during lockdown my brother and I spent more time together than we probably have in the last three years combined, given that I am ten years older than him and have lived out of home up until last year our relationship was always a bit like ships passing in the night. In addition to that our relationship has always been vaguely parental due to the age difference (and possibly my own gendered conditioning to adopt a caregiver role), yet in this period I have had such a strange feeling of emotionally revisiting my adolescence due to the amount of time I am spending with my brother and cousin who is eighteen, which has been such a strange and disorienting experience. I feel like this has been such a pointed sensation for me as someone who doesn’t drive, and with public transport it is just bearable as I have some access to independent travel. But when I could no longer go anywhere at all without my mother driving me, I felt like my identity as a capable adult essentially crumbled overnight. There are elements to this that are positive, I feel like my brother understands me much better now and my relationship with my cousin borders more on the side of best friends than cousins in a way that would probably not have happened if I hadn’t been forced to put aside the cloak of adulthood which made me essentially relate to my cousin from a caregiver perspective.
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  2020-04-22

  Jan Fran- Text From Facebook Post

  I have included Jan Fran’s name in this only because the facebook post was public and she is an established political commentator, but I was somewhat anxious about publishing her words in this way. When I first saw this facebook post it honestly probably took me about a week to get over my sheer rage at the amount of money Jeff Bezos has personally made profiting from the pandemic, which wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for that fact that his personal wealth is so staggeringly incomprehensible already. I read the other day that he has pledged a billion dollars to charities in the wake of coronavirus, which is just under a third of his personal wealth. How is it that one man can accept brownie points for donating a billion dollars in a context when he can justify keeping nearly two billion dollars in personal wealth while income inequality is a driving force in the deaths of over a hundred thousand people in his own country alone. How can anyone can claim to have ‘earned’ or ‘deserve’ such a staggering amount of money in a world rocked by a global pandemic is just so incomprehensible. Jan’s point about this false trade-off between the health of the economy and safety, which is made on so many levels above and beyond public health in a pandemic (because funding free education is bad for the economy rather than billionaires) is so striking, and I can only hope there are enough people who are more disgusted with the two billion dollars Jeff Bezos decided to keep than there are wanting to pat him on the back for donating the one billion.
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  2020-04-06

  Hopper Life Filter

  I have included this photo as it reminded me so strongly, on the night I took that photo, of Edward Hopper’s Nighthawks (1942). For some reason I have always found the colour palette and story of that particular painting to be really soothing and calming, and it has always been one of my favourite painting for that reason even though by genre and artist it falls well outside my usual area of interest. I remember reading something years ago which described the scenes depicted in Hopper’s artworks in this period as depicting liminal social spaces, characterised by public spaces designed for crowds (cafes, hotels lobbies, restaurants etc.) which are nearly empty and in between phases of activity, and this whole year has felt like one giant Hopper painting that I can’t escape from. I looked at a bunch of his paintings again whilst deciding what to say about this moment, and the painting Automat (1927) is one I have always identified with in a really positive way being both rather introverted and a ritual tea drinker. When I was looking at his paintings again and saw it however, I felt such a strange rush of both sadness and anxiety and I can’t help but feel like my enjoyment of Hopper’s paintings in this period has been ruined forever, though hopefully my feelings about the paintings will swing in the opposite direction again as I age and change myself, as great art is wont to do.
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  2020-03-15

  Our Vancouver Covid-19 Staycation

  We’re a Vancouverite family of three who cancelled plans to go abroad due to the outbreak of COVID-19. Instead, we spent our spring break two weeks with daily cookies and bicycling around our city, under the lockdown rules of our province. This blog tells the story of what that was like in Vancouver in March 2020.