Items
Creator is exactly
SELF
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2020-03-31
HIST30060 Lockdown #1: Activities and Alcohol
On 31 March 2022, the first lockdown was initiated in both Melbourne and Sydney. I was in Sydney at the time, having arrived a few days prior from Melbourne as border restrictions were starting to be introduced. I am slightly ashamed to say, now, that I really enjoyed this first lockdown. I hadn't lived at home since 2018, and it was a unique experience to enjoy time together that wouldn't have normally happened. We've always been pretty close, but the lockdown forced an intimacy that we'd never had before (it helped that my teenage brother was required to be at home and boredom had driven him to start having conversations with us again). I think mum and dad were consciously trying to keep lockdown interesting, and soon a weekly cocktail night (with a required lounge formal dress code), bi-weekly painting lessons via zoom and daily yoga with mum, nightly music sessions with dad, lego competitions with the old dusty lego sets, and weekend family walks were introduced. I had never done so much exercise in my life, and yet I had never consumed as much alcohol, either. Even when I lived in a flatshare as an eighteen-year-old. Alcohol quickly became a problem for me, one that I have yet to fully address although I have started to cut down. The taste of wine became associated with fun times with the people I loved, so of course, I loved it. And when the lockdown eventually lifted, I returned to Melbourne nearly friendless (having left before I got the chance to settle in and with little opportunity to meet new people), a cheap bottle of pinot grigio and I became good - if slightly toxic - friends. -
2020-03-22
HIST30060: A Trip to the Zoo
I started at Melbourne University in March 2022, moving all the way from Sydney and knowing no one in Melbourne. I quickly made a group of friends at college, but things were still a bit new and awkward - we were in that stage of a new friendship where you are past small talk but not quite at deep and meaningful. Regardless, we decided to take a trip to Melbourne Zoo on the 22nd of March. It was a great day: the sun was shining and the animals were beautiful. We were joking around and it seemed like we were at the start of a really exciting and close friendship. In the early afternoon, I got a phone call from mum. News had been trickling in over the past month of COVID cases and deaths in Australia, but we still weren't entirely sure how seriously to take the disease, and we were clueless about how it would change our lives. On the phone, mum asked if I had been reading the news. Of course I hadn't. She told me that all non-essential services would be shut down, and that it was likely going to get more strict as the week went on. "I think you should come home. Uni will be online anyway." The next day, I was on a plane back to Sydney, after only having spent 22 days at college. Never fear, though, I was sure it'd all be over soon. -
2020-05
Pandemic In Ohio
During the pandemic it was certainly a struggle for all of us. In my rather large town called Hilliard, many didn't take the pandemic seriously. People straight up just did not care about what was going on, and were even convinced it wasn't real. Even students were denying to wear masks in school. When in came to the point of complete isolation people were surprised, as if they didn't see it possibly happening. I want people to know that this is pandemic is 100% real and it cannot be taken lightly. -
2022-10-20
HIST30068 China’s Zero Covid Policy Story 5
Me and my sister have been wanting to go back to China for quite some times now – we haven’t seen our grandparents for years due to the pandemic, and they are not getting any younger. But the crazy flight ticket price and the concern that China’s strict covid policies will make it hard for us to come back for school made us postpone our plans. It is also difficult for them to come here, also due to China’s covid policies. This June, my cousin gave birth to a girl, whom her grandmother and great-grandparents deeply wanted to meet. The pandemic born baby is growing very fast: she used to be too small for the hat that I knitted for her birthday, but now she’s already too big for it. -
2022-10-10
HIST30068 China’s Zero Covid Policy Story 4
A door in the neighbourhood is nailed, to stop people with positive cases from going outside. I found it a bit uncomfortable, and I really feel sorry for the people inside. -
2022-09-09
HIST30068 China’s Zero Covid Policy Story 3
Early September this year, my uncle Kun Ye went on a business trip to Xinjiang. Unfortunately, as he arrived, positive cases were starting to pop up in the region. He quarantined in the hotel for 20 days, waiting patiently, hoping the situation to improve so he can get his work done. When it got closer to October, a friend in the local government gave him a call, advising him to return to Hubei asap, otherwise it will only get harder and harder for him to go home. He took that advise and flied back to Jingmen, Hubei, it turned out to be a smart decision. By the start of October, no more flights were either going to or from Xinjiang. The whole region went into quarantine, and people was told by the local government to prepare for up to 7-10 days’ worth of food and other necessities, for the upcoming lockdown. After Uncle Kun’s arrival to Jingmen, he was told that since he just came from Xinjiang, a place with growing covid cases, he must first go to the square cabins and quarantine for a week. “Life was so bad there”, he told me: “the meals hardly had any meat.” Well, he was a meat lover. That was not the worst for him. During his isolation, cases appeared in Jingmen as well, (since they just accepted a flight from Xinjiang). A case was found in “Kailin Park”, the community which he lived, and the whole Kailin Park was locked up by blue iron walls, people can neither get in or out. With no home to return to, Uncle Kun went to our house; and since I was studying overseas in Australia, he slept in my empty room for a week. Frustrated, he told me over the phone, that “so much time was wasted last month, and nothing was done.” -
2022-10-10
HIST30068 China’s Zero Covid Policy Story 2
A road near my home in China is closed. Workers are building a wall across the road to stop any travels. This road had much of my childhood memory: it's very close to the “Palace of Culture”, a Sunday School where many kids went to take math, Chinese, English, art or music classes. On the other side of the road there was my favourite noodle soup shop, also closed. -
2022-10-14
HIST30068 China’s Zero Covid Policy Story 1
On Oct. 14th, my dad went to a nearby town called Huji (in Zhongxiang, Hubei province, China) where there is a factory of the company that he works for. He was supposed to stay there for a week. On the 20th, 2 Huji students and an adult tested positive. The whole Huji town quickly went into a lockdown, and all workers, 2 thousand of them, were to be quarantined right there and then. They must stay inside the factory during the restriction, which would last until cases drop to a certain point. (By the 29th of Oct, there are still no signs of any ease on the lockdown). Food wasn’t a problem, because there was a large canteen in the factory. But there was no accommodation for 2000 workers, only dorm rooms for around 400. My dad had to make quick arrangements for this. Eventually, they bought thousands of mattresses and quilts to make beddings on the floor. These were brought from nearby cities, mainly Jingmen, Jingzhou, and Xiangyang. My dad was able to leave with a friend who had permission, so he hurried back to our home in Jingmen, where he was told by his friend that all travellers from Huji must report themselves and quarantine at home. But as he planned to go to Yichang for another business trip soon, he pretended that he never knew this information. On that day when he was having lunch, he received a call from the pandemic prevention people, politely asking him about his recent travels. He told them that he will be leaving for Yichang immediately, to which they agreed. Then he dropped his chopsticks and drove to Yichang. -
2022-01-02
Quarantine Post Lockdowns
HIST30060: This was a photo taken before dinner during my self quarantine at the beginning of this year, as I had come into close contact with my mum who had COVID on Christmas day. I was then promptly messaged by the Department of Health and Human Services to quarantine for the next week, which also meant I had to self isolate on my birthday (New Year's Eve). This dinner was the final night of that quarantine, in my apartment with my girlfriend and her dog, eating a dinner we had organised through having our groceries delivered for the first and only time. This quarantine reminded me and still reminds me of the presence COVID still has in our lives even in 2022, years on from the beginning of the pandemic and outside of lockdown restrictions. The virus still restricts us in ways we had not experienced before 2020. -
2020-06-06
History within History
HIST30060: This photo was taken at the Melbourne Black Lives Matter protest in June of 2020, it was one amongst the wave of protests taking place across the world sparked by protests in the United States following George Floyd's death at the hands of the police. It was the second protest I had attended and the sheer number of people attending to show solidarity with people of colour in the US and shed light on police issues at home was an inspiring sight despite the harrowing reality of it all. Figures such as the Prime Minister at the time cited health risks as reason to not demonstrate, but this potential of COVID spreading however was consistently weaponised by conservative pundits (despite their consistent calls for lax restrictions). to discredit the movement. -
2021-09
Rising Profits
HIST30060: This is a screenshot of a whatsapp group chat for the workplace I was in during the sixth COVID lockdown in Melbourne. Despite restrictions being at its highest at this point, the profits for my workplace broke new records this week, similar as to how other major companies raked in major profits during the lockdown era. I remember working that Wednesday night, me and the few coworkers I was with were inundated mostly by online delivery orders but there was still a steady stream of customers coming in (quite often without masks) to order in person. There was little reward for our efforts, but at the very least I was afforded some peace and quiet on the commute home with the lockdowns in place. -
2021-08-28
The First Jab
HIST30060: This is an image of when I was waiting to leave the Royal Exhibition Building following my first vaccination. The experience was not something I was unfamiliar with, throughout high school I received regular vaccinations, the only downside this time was there not being a bowl of lollies to reward myself with as there was during high school. I had been anticipating the worst of symptoms after what I had heard from others, but fortunately all I really got was a stiff arm. This was also amidst the beginnings of the anti-vax movement and protests that we unfortunately are so accustomed to at this point. -
2021-10-20
Picnic in Royal Park
This was a more joyful moment from lockdown. For long periods of Melbourne's lockdown a picnic in the park was the only way to catch up with friends. It became a very popular activity for my friends and lots of other people in Melbourne. Every evening when the weather was good the parks would be full of groups. -
2020-12-01
Carpark Run
To return to New Zealand in late 2020 I had to complete 14 days of hotel quarantine. Luckily, my hotel had a fenced off area of the carpark that we were able to use for exercise for an hour each day. This strava activity shows a run I did around the very small carpark (one of six during the two weeks), which involved running in my mask and staying a few meters from the other people in the space. Without these bursts of activity, two weeks in a hotel room would have been much less bearable. -
2020-03-20
Letter from Mum
With lots of extra time to spare during the lockdowns, my Mum started writing letters to me as a way to share news. This was a lovely way to stay in touch between Australia and New Zealand, although by the time the letters made it through the very very slow postal system they were weeks out of date. This particular letter from the very start of the pandemic captures the novelty and chaos of the situation very well -- most events are starting to be cancelled, the border between NZ and AU has shut, and everyone is slowly coming to terms with what's happening. -
2022-10-31
Reflecting on COVID19 as a student who started and ended her degree in the midst of the global pandemic. (HIST30060)
I’ve selected 5 different photos which give a little insight into being a tertiary student during the COVID19 pandemic. I started my Bachelor of Art degree in March of 2020, fresh out of high school. I was so incredibly excited and had a great first few weeks (I think one or two) and O-Week. I was lucky enough to go on a first year Arts student camp in February, where I made a handful of friends that I am still close with today; it was this small social interaction that really served as the bulk of my Uni social life for my degree because ‘going online’ severely stunted my ability to connect with new people. In the screenshot of a Zoom conference call, I am having a zoom call with some of the people I meet on this camp, a kind of ‘reunion’ during the first lockdown in 2020. Reflecting on some of the other limitations on the social life of a young student who is very social, I have included a screenshot of an Instagram post I did in April of 2020. It was my 19th birthday, and my ‘obligatory’ birthday post for the year looked a lot different to other years. Rather than being out celebrating with friends in real life, we did a group zoom call where we sang Happy Birthday and my friends watched me cut my cake through a screen. Some people got dressed up, donning dresses and a full face of makeup, to just wash it off when you clicked the camera off for the night. It was lovely to connect but looking back at these pictures now just leaves me with a strange, eerie feeling. I have included a picture of my university set up, a table in our garden and my dog, Margot. I found it really hard to study in my house all the time, so I would often try to move around to different study zones in my house. I really focused on my study during lockdown, it felt like it was a productive use of time and something I could channel my thinking into. However, thinking so much about University, and always having it in my home (it was not like I was moving between a ‘home space’ and a ‘study space’) was really tiring and draining. Every day just felt the same. I have decided to take a gap year next year rather than moving straight into post-graduate study because I don’t want to feel that same kind of burn-out again. Finally, I have two pictures which encapsulate some pass times during lockdown. One is my sister painting my bedroom walls; we did a lot of home improvement and beautification, giving ourselves little tasks and jobs that we could complete and feel satisfied with. The other picture is my sister and dog on the beach during a winter’s eve walk. I included this picture because her mask is visible. This picture was taken when there were restrictions about the quantity of family members you could walk with, the time you could leave your house, the necessity of wearing a mask and how far you could go from home. When this picture was taken, we had a curfew in place in Victoria (I think you had to be home before 10pm), you could only walk with household members, but only in groups of two at a time, you could not go further than 5km away from your home and you had to wear a face mask even when just walking your dog to a quiet beach. Reflecting on these harsh rules and the feelings I had at the time makes me feel quite sad as I feel like I missed out on so many experiences that I was promised with my university degree. My experience as a Bachelor student was so far from what it should have been; so while I am extremely proud to be graduating in a few weeks, proud that I loved what I studied, felt empowered by what I learnt and feel like my academic skills have improved so much, I feel sad that I missed out on social connection, a sense of belonging to a school community, meeting people who are outside my regular circles, experiences with clubs and teams, not being able to use campus facilities and spaces. I am so lucky that I was extremely privileged in the lockdown, my family was all healthy, safe, we had minimal arguments, and they made me smile despite the circumstances; my friends were beyond wonderful, and I had a safe place to live and access to my university and learning online. But when I think back to the lockdowns and the impact of them, I still can’t help but get emotional. More than anything, I always find myself shocked about what we all went through and how unique it was. -
2021-10-22
"Freedom Day"
This photo was taken just after midnight on October 22 2021, after the end of Melbourne's final lockdown. With the curfew lifted and fewer restrictions on leaving home we took the opportunity to come out at midnight and celebrate. This photo captures the excitement of the moment, which finally felt like we coming to the end of the most difficult period of the pandemic. -
2022-10-30
Silenced voices of the commoner
The recent Covid-19 pandemic has had immense local and global ramifications, especially for us Victorians who have experienced the world’s longest lockdowns. It was a significant worldwide event which will certainly be looked back upon by future generations, just as we have analysed previous historical diseases, such as the bubonic plague. But how should archivists determine which sources, and likewise which voices should be permanently preserved within the historical record? Traditionally, an archive is a collection of documents that archivists have selected to be permanently preserved as sources for future historical or other forms of research. Initially, only scholars with an ambition to conduct historical research had access to archives, but their digitisation and free nature have ensured that anyone is able to access the documents they contain online. However, the process of creating both physical and digital archives is inherently flawed. Archivists have a formidable power to evaluate which sources are “worthy of inclusion”, and simultaneously which ones are not; essentially what compromises the historical record. Therefore, although archivists are characterised as unbiased and impartial individuals, they are inextricably influenced by “societal biases” in their decision-making, as they simply have to select what they personally believe will have value to future researchers. It has culminated in them privileging and prioritising the voices of individuals within positions power, which has indefinitely created “gaps within the historical record” through inhibiting the voices of those without it. Rodney G.S. Carter echoes the problem in asserting that the existence of archival “silences” is the “manifestation of the actions of the powerful”, which has a substantial impact on how marginalised groups produce and likewise form both social history and memory. Ariella Aïsha Azoulay has cautioned readers that “digital archives are no exception”. With this in mind, if we consider the 19-month impact of the pandemic upon Victoria, I am certain that archivists will acknowledge the voices of those within positions of power when determining what sources should be preserved. Of particular importance would be those of primary actors that shaped Victoria’s lockdown experience, most importantly the protagonist of the lockdowns, Premier Daniel Andrews (fig.1). Figure 1. Video of Premier announcing sixth lockdown, cited in Patrick Durkin, “’Recuring nightmare’: Victoria’s snap lockdown is the ‘new normal,’” Financial Review, August 5, 2021, URL: https://www.afr.com/policy/economy/very-concerned-victoria-faces-lockdown-after-eight-new-cases-20210805-p58g3o. I am aware of the threat of “information overload” both real and digital archives currently face with an abundance of available sources, but I would argue that the preservation of major political statements alongside previously supressed voices would be beneficial to any archive created surrounding the Victorian Covid-19 experience. A consideration of the experiences of marginalised voices would be imperative to a future historian, as it would enrich historiography by offering insight into the social-political dynamics of the event, and its psychological impact beyond official government and political documents. I will now consider the value of this “bottom-up approach” in capturing the Victorian pandemic experience from the viewpoint of the common man, me, a historically marginalised group within the realm of archives. I personally wasn’t too concerned about the first lockdown and its stage three and four restrictions as they would “flatten the curve” of infectious cases, providing our health system with the best opportunity to tackle the fast-spreading virus. Life as we know it changed though with only four reasons to leave home; shopping, exercise, caregiving, and work. The café I worked at had to shift to “take away only”, as many others (fig.2). Figure 2. The Food Republic Café, “covid update for customers,” Blackburn, March 23, 2020, URL: https://www.facebook.com/thefoodrepubliccafe. I was still able to work alongside my barista colleague and friend Max which was pretty good, and I was able to perfect my coffee artwork (fig.3). Figure 3. The Food Republic Café, “promotional post during lockdown 1” Blackburn, April 8, 2020, URL: https://www.facebook.com/thefoodrepubliccafe. I was also able to continue exercising and riding my bike, but I wasn’t able to see or visit any friends or family, which initially seemed like a fair sacrifice to make for the health and wellbeing of all Victorians (fig.4). Figure 4. George Vesnaver, Selfie on bike ride, April 10, 2020, photograph, Main Yarra Trail, Melbourne. However, after being continuously plunged in and out of lockdowns by the time the sixth one came about, I was very angry to say the least as representative within my covid journal entry (fig. 5). Figure 5. George Vesnaver, Covid Journal Entry, October 27, 2022, photograph, Kew East, Melbourne. Laura A. Millar’s observation that “the concept of evidence” must be broadened as opposed to its current restrictive and rigid format adopted by archivists has reaffirmed my belief that my experience and that of other regular people should not be forgotten. My sources may just seem like information to an archivist because of their form, but they are filled with evidence of this historic moment. Their eternal preservation within an archive would serve anyone wanting to write about the Victorian Covid-19 experience in the foreseeable future. For example, figure 2. would enable one to see how government information was disseminated via social media; the confirming and likewise conforming of political decisions. Figure 3. would reveal the way in which people adapted to Victoria’s first initial lockdown via humour, helping us remember attitudes towards the past event. Figure 4. would showcase a sense of normality during unprecedented times, through an ability to continue exercising. But most importantly the response depicted in figure 5. towards figure 1., a first-hand account of the psychological impact of the endless lockdowns instigated by those with political powers. Winston Churchill once said that “history is written by the victors”, so considering those with and without power survived the pandemic it seems only fair that all our voices should be recognised in the historical record. -
2021-08-08
Revisiting the family archives - HIST30060
In isolation, I found myself coming closer to my family. I was living in Melbourne at the time, away from my home in Tasmania, but maintained constant connection via video calling and messaging my family. One way I connected with home was by sharing old photos with my sister. This is one she sent me while I was in lockdown. It was taken around 2008. Trawling through thousands of old photos was an easy way to keep occupied during lockdowns, and I’m partially glad that COVID gave me the free time to do so as it was a fun way to bond with family and massage out the homesickness. -
2021-08-21
HIST30060: Family Texts
This is a screenshot of a family text conversation in August 2021. The mother, nicknamed “mrs matriarch” on the Facebook Messenger application, is relaying rumours of an intensification of the lockdown restrictions, including the involvement of the military. She also encourages the popular practice of hoarding or panic buying. This conversation encapsulates popular anxiety around the suddenness of government responses to the pandemic. The user alerts their family based on a rumour that the 8pm Victorian curfew would be moved earlier to 5pm. In hindsight, the 5pm curfew never eventuated. Instead, the 8pm curfew became 9pm, before it was later removed. The user’s fear that the military would be involved further shows the anxiety felt by Victorian residents and the sense of entrapment. The conversation also indicates the popular phenomenon of panic buying and hoarding. The text reads, “get whatever you need for today now” and “buy a bunch – we are heading for tighter restrictions in lockdowns,” even for a perishable item like strawberries. Rumours had a very real effect on the population, prompting atypical economic behaviours, including the infamous toilet paper hoarding. The low price of strawberries reported by the user also illustrates the strange supply and demand for groceries during the pandemic and excess of fruit that year. -
2022-02-02
COVID Forever (Unfortunately)
The image describes the cyclical nature that came with the Coronavirus due to various variants developing. This repetition can lead to people living stagnant and restricted lives. Such occurrences may result in feelings of hopelessness and futility. Sadly, one person alone cannot stop the spread of the virus, yet individuals continue to suffer. -
2022-09-10
My feelings on the Coronavirus Pandemic
• I am by Profession a Part-time Instructor of Creative Writing. I received my master’s degree in creative Writing from Concordia University. Right now, sine the Coronavirus crisis hit, I have been a full-time Stay-at-Home Mom with our two lovely daughters, Emily 8 and Lisa 10! They have been having the hardest time since the Coronavirus Situation hit our Country. Many times, Emily will say to me ‘Mommy, I’m scared, when will this crisis end? I’m Sorry, because I really don’t know what to say to her, at that age!! When I was a little girl, we didn’t have to face such a crisis! The closest thing we had was in 1961, to hide under our school desks, during siren drills! • Mentally, lately I have, personally been having frequent bouts of Severe Depression, whereby I feel like crying a lot, but my daughters and my husband, Dennis, kisses me, comforts me and tells me not to Worry!! • My Father-in-Law has recently been admitted to the hospital, after he began having severe stomach pains, after helping my Mother-In-Law to lift several boxes of heavy furniture! He was in the hospital for a series of Tests, after which it was discovered that he had damaged his Kidneys and 1-2 months of Intense Physical Therapy, combined with daily Anti-Biotics! A Group of Ladies that I belong to at my Church, have been commenting, “Boy Melissa, you simply don’t seem like your Cheerful, jolly, Loving self, are you sure you are alright?? Is there anything that We can do to help you and Dennis? • I typically work Outside-the-Home, but lately, because of our two daughters, I have chosen to work remotely from Home! But their smiles 😉 make it all worthwhile!! • My Husband and I are both, definitely practicing Social Distancing!! My girlfriends All Admire the ‘Courage-Of-My-Conviction!’ They tell Me Openly that they feel that I AM TRULY ONE OF THE BRAVEST WOMEN THAT THEY KNOW!! Although Dennis and I have to frequently visit his parents only via Skype! This is often-times distressing! • Because of this, We hardly-Ever, if Ever, Go Outside Our Home, so We have had to cancel Running of All Errands, and We absolutely do no Travelling and Outside trips, (Except the get-the-mail), and So we Obviously pursue All of Our Leisure, Social Activities, and all such Celebrations like Thanksgiving, and Christmas, on-line via Zoom! • Personally, I Definitely think that the Government could have done a lot more in the wake of this Covid-19 GLOBAL PANDEMIC. Of course, I am relieved now that we are going to have a Wonderful New Administration in Washington, D.C.! I just hope to-GOD THAT THEY DO NOT “TAKE THEIR EYES OFF THE BALL!!” • As the Mother of two young girls, it pains me very much so just think about ‘what kind of future my daughters are going to have, if we fail once again to ‘Nip this crisis in the bud’? • Definitely, I am hopeful that as a World Community, we will all be coming much closer together!! This makes me smile too! -
2020
A year of recovery
Our adult son died of cancer at the end of 2018. We were devastated. Our lives were disrupted and upended, while everyone else went on as if everything was normal. Anyone who has lost a family member or friend knows what this is like. Way too many people found out in 2020 what that is like. In 2020, other people were inconvenienced. A lot. I’ll acknowledge that it was tough on everyone, but it’s nothing compared to losing a loved one. When we realized that the pandemic disruption really didn’t faze us, we realized that we were going to be OK. We had faced the unbearable; this was trivial by comparison. So was losing my job. We were privileged that 2020 and 2021 gave us a chance to reset, to recharge, to reboot. To make ends meet, I now work and live on another continent, away from my wife. It’s incredibly difficult. We’ve dealt with worse situations. We’ll be OK. -
2021-10-05
The Road Rager
It was late October 2021. The quiet and muted reactions to my provocative liberal bumper stickers on my Toyota Prius became louder and louder as the pandemic restrictions concluded. I was drinking my kale smoothie when I heard loud shoutings while waiting for the light to turn green. I immediately felt fear as I thought a violent incident was happening outside. I looked to my right and left and noticed an angry truck driver. As I pulled my window down, I thought about how much life had changed during these last two years. Folks crippled with COVID anxiety and forced inside had returned to the jungle that is car traffic. The result? Anger at the other side. Anger at those they deemed responsible for their restricted life. Anger at those who they believed were trying to muzzle and isolate society. The noises subsided, and I noticed I had just thrown my medium Burger King Drink at the car. Was I the angry road rager? Yes. -
2020-07-21
I think I want to start a garden with you
I decided to start a garden during the pandemic with my girlfriend at the time (now wife). It was my senior year of college and life changed drastically in the spring when the pandemic hit. My wife and I had somewhat recently started dating at this point and suddenly we had to go on lockdown together to avoid any potential spread to her family since we both were required to go in person for our jobs. We went from dating to living together in an instant and it made us grow even closer. Together we tried to find quarantine hobbies to bide our time originally thinking that quarantine would only last a few months. I remember one day suggesting we start a garden in the backyard. My yard in Lubbock got so much sun it was just perfect for a garden. We slowly built a garden adding various plants from cactus and aloe vera to hot peppers, bean sprouts, and sunflowers. I loved going out there and caring for all the plants with my wife it was a real bonding experience. It was beautiful watching the whole process of our plants transform from little seeds to baby sprouts. I remember the way the new sprouts smelled crisp as they became verdant green and leafy. When we would water them on a particularly hot day it had a scent that reminded me of rainy summer days in Dallas when it got humid. I enjoyed getting to start this hobby that I most likely wouldn't have picked up at the time if I kept to my usual college routine. It was also a good distraction for both of us from the worries and anxieties of the pandemic. -
2020-05-01
The Hustle and Bustle That Went Naught
This story is nothing that many of you may not be familiar with, notably of those in metropolitan-like areas. Plus, I can not say that this story is anything deeply descriptive and the likes thereof, but it certainly had an impact on someone like me (along with others) that live in a city, notably if you are especially in or around New York City, the city that never sleeps. What brings me back to this? Well, not exactly the link that I provided that actually shows (at the time of course) a live-time recording of midtown Manhattan and its eerie sound, which is paradoxically a "sound" of a hovering-like quiescent stillness of keen silence (but a silent ambiance that was somewhat peculiarly enchanting) . Or rather, as the title alludes to, a sound that was "naught". At the time, it became so normal if you will (especially around 40 days since the lockdown went into effect), that it became a coincidentia oppositorum of sorts. One might ask, where is such a "unity of opposites" in effect whereby this was simply a "change" in the dynamics of your "said" environment? To start, the Newark (NJ) area is nothing BUT a concoction of familiar and somewhat pleasing noise as I sit in my half-airconditioned room, from the constant sound of public transportation busses passing by and their intrinsic slight familiar screeching stop, the talk of those a few floors down walking the streets, the constant sound(s) of cars flowing by, the sound of the famous pathway train into NYC in the faint distance (though it stops at Jersey City first), those at the corners (as inappropriate as it may sound) calling out that they got "x, y, and z" near Broad and Market Street, so forth and so on, to "almost" nothing! It was like something straight out of the novel Brave New World and other such pally stories of the sort. To me and many others around our surrounding areas, this was a moment in history that stood out, one that I can not recall in similarity since Tuesday, September 11th. 2001. Because the unity of these non-coherent opposites is in the simple fact that the innate aspect of a pandemic lockdown of a such magnitude as we had is quite obviously "silence" if you will, which is the opposite of what is immersed in a city of almost 300,000 (and that is of course not including the amount of citizens in neighboring metro-areas both east, north, and south of my location), nevertheless, they formed one coherent form of a dialectical force. Because it soon became a "norm" and it happened at quite an expedient rate in the larger scheme of things. Nothing was more "quiet" and "surreal" then the tragic events of 9/11, as it did not take some time for a similar situation to occur, as the event was so dynamic that everything I am speaking of happened at once, but and more importantly, day by day the city quickly gained back its ingrained normative environment. But the reason I arbitrarily picked the date of 5/1/2020, rather then use the date of the article, is because it was in early May where this began to slowly engulf me and took me back to one quite sunny day around noon (maybe a tad later), where all of this, "all of this" being that of what I speak of, struck me finally as something transformative (but far less than cathartic to say the least). I hope you enjoyed my little tidbit of what kind of impact COVID had on me (be it a self-like precept, photograph, video, etc...), particular using my experience in a sensory course of description. Sure, there was obviously other aspects that came into play with COVID-19 that eventually impacted us, but most of them were later on as the days moved by, while rather this experience was the first and the one that will stick with me anytime I think back to the pandemic. And the beauty of it, or rather lack thereof, all happened while simply sitting near my bed (hence against the window) while putting on my prosthetic legs. Cheers to you all! -
2020-03-20
A Theme Park on Day 1 of the Pandemic
Disneyland popcorn comes in a variety of colors and flavors- and with the opening of Galaxy’s Edge in 2019, my new favorite popcorn stand was ushered into being. This stand carried popcorn that had fruity pebble flavoring on its salty kernels, a little sticky, but delicious nonetheless. It was spring break at ASU, and currently, I was enjoying this sweet-salty concoction with not a care in the world, in Disneyland with my family. I was standing under the sad shade of a newly planted tree when my father turned to me, mouth agape, and proceeded to hand me his phone despite the sticky residue I was attempting to warn him about. His cell phone screen, with its glaring blue light and notifications rapidly appearing across the top, shouted a message at me I would much rather ignore: “The CDC has declared COVID-19 a worldwide pandemic.” Given that my father works in medical software, he quickly snatched the vibrating, ringing phone back and began an onslaught of calls that sounded identical, almost always culminating in “I don’t know what this means.” All around us, the previously carefree park patrons were beginning to reach into their pockets to investigate the commotion, and finding the same or similar results. Gasps and shouts were heard all around us, and the sound of feet moving quickly increased. Coughs were now akin to fire alarms and sent crowds scattering on the wind. Large throngs of people began to move towards the park exit, but I was keen on finishing my treat. After all, why rush out with hundreds of people when you can stroll out with dozens? We only remained in the park for about an hour after that, my parents endlessly debating the pros and cons of driving to Arizona right that minute. Would they close the borders between states? Would they get a refund for the cost of the hotel? What would we do with my little sisters’ birthday cake, sitting in a mini fridge and awaiting a dull butter knife later that evening? Families all around us were having the same sorts of conversations, a concert of panic arising in the Happiest Place on Earth. As my parents squabbled and people scattered, I was struck by the monumental meaning of this moment. Disneyland was going to close- and it previously closed for events like 9/11 and the assassination of President Kennedy. Something was very, very wrong...and I figured I should stop eating my popcorn that had seen unknown hands and unknown places. -
2020-03-14
A Theme Park on Day 1 of the Pandemic
Disneyland popcorn comes in a variety of colors and flavors- and with the opening of Galaxy’s Edge in 2019, my new favorite popcorn stand was ushered into being. This stand carried popcorn that had fruity pebble flavoring on its salty kernels, a little sticky, but delicious nonetheless. It was spring break at ASU, and currently, I was enjoying this sweet-salty concoction with not a care in the world, in Disneyland with my family. I was standing under the sad shade of a newly planted tree when my father turned to me, mouth agape, and proceeded to hand me his phone despite the sticky residue I was attempting to warn him about. His cell phone screen, with its glaring blue light and notifications rapidly appearing across the top, shouted a message at me I would much rather ignore: “The CDC has declared COVID-19 a worldwide pandemic.” Given that my father works in medical software, he quickly snatched the vibrating, ringing phone back and began an onslaught of calls that sounded identical, almost always culminating in “I don’t know what this means.” All around us, the previously carefree park patrons were beginning to reach into their pockets to investigate the commotion, and finding the same or similar results. Gasps and shouts were heard all around us, and the sound of feet moving quickly increased. Coughs were now akin to fire alarms and sent crowds scattering on the wind. Large throngs of people began to move towards the park exit, but I was keen on finishing my treat. After all, why rush out with hundreds of people when you can stroll out with dozens? We only remained in the park for about an hour after that, my parents endlessly debating the pros and cons of driving to Arizona right that minute. Would they close the borders between states? Would they get a refund for the cost of the hotel? What would we do with my little sisters’ birthday cake, sitting in a mini fridge and awaiting a dull butter knife later that evening? Families all around us were having the same sorts of conversations, a concert of panic arising in the Happiest Place on Earth. As my parents squabbled and people scattered, I was struck by the monumental meaning of this moment. Disneyland was going to close- and it previously closed for events like 9/11 and the assassination of President Kennedy. Something was very, very wrong...and I figured I should stop eating my popcorn that had seen unknown hands and unknown places. -
2021-06-12
Graduation: A celebration or just another day?
A long and hot three hour and forty five minute drive to San Luis Obispo was halted short of the two hour mark for a very important celebration. Was it really a time of celebration though? Some could argue that the mood and the hot weather of a summer June 12 afternoon in 2021 was just another day. After the strike of the pandemic, online instruction skyrocketed around the state of California. Other California State schools, resorted to their spring commencement to be online, our school was no different. We stopped our car at a local 76 gas station just off the side of the freeway to celebrate my virtual graduation from Cal Poly San Luis Obispo. My mom pulled up in the parking lot where next to the 76 gas station was a McDonald's with free Wifi which allowed for us to connect to the Zoom meeting. We waited as name after name from the History Department was called, in which you could hear the only the applause and cheers of close family for fellow graduates called before me. The quiet tension in the car while waiting for my name to be called was very obvious in the car. There was no excitement at all. Just another normal day in the hot June sun. Finally, my name was called upon. A description of my goals and my final senior project were mentioned in the ceremony in my honor. All while the bustling of cars, the smell of fast food and the barking and crying of young kids and dogs lingered in the background of the car. My family applauded clapping and crying out my name. Seconds later, the next name was read and I logged off zoom, placed my cap to the side and we continued our drive to San Luis Obispo. Apart of me wondered that day we drove away from the gas station what a true graduation may have felt like, may have sounded like without these troubling times. -
2020-08-08
Relearning to Cook
I have loved to cook for as long as I can remember, but I had a few rough years and stopped cooking. With the onset of stay-at-home orders for the COVID-19 Pandemic, I went from 60-hour work weeks between my two jobs to nothing. My mind and hands were itching to do something, anything. As many of the grocery stores started to have supply shortages and I now had a much more limited budget; I had to get creative. So, I began to cook. I started slowly with fancy coffee drinks and eggs and moved to bread and pasta. Nationally people were baking bread so I thought well I’ve got the time I might as well try. What started as something I had learned to dread suddenly became my day’s highlight. I was cooking again! The dance of moving through my small kitchen. The clank of pots and pans and knives and wooden spoons in metal bowls playing in time to Otis Redding. The joy of tasting a recipe and nailing both the flavors and the serving size (many recipes serve 4-6, I live alone). It was truly a full-body experience. I soon realized that I hadn’t repeated any meals in about two weeks and decided to challenge myself to go as long as possible without repeating a recipe, if a meal required a repeat that portion simply didn’t count in my tally. I ended up making over 225 different recipes. -
2021-09-16
Life is Better Where It's Wetter
Travel had always been in my blood. I can even remember the first time I was legally allowed to board a plane on my own without having to wear a silly "Unaccompanied Minor" badge around my neck. The idea of getting on an airplane and landing in a completely new place only hours later would always thrill me. Unfortunately, when the pandemic hit, travel started to look a little different. The freedom I once felt when I stepped foot on a 737 began to feel more like an anxiety-filled hassle. Normally, I would have been found jet-setting across the U.S. to the big cities on the east and west coasts where the parties lasted all night long, but that was no longer possible. I started to remembered how I had always wanted to visit Lake Tahoe. I'd always seen the outdoorsy girls on my Instagram feed post pictures of the clear, blue water. Maybe this was my chance to take a break from the major hubs and slow down my pace. One thing remained, though. I still didn't want to face those airports. That's when I made one of the biggest decisions of my young life. I packed up my Jeep and started out on what would become 3 weeks across our American highways - just me, a Jeep Wrangler, and the open road. I never could have expected what I would discover while driving. I truly gained a new appreciation for the world around me and realized I much preferred travel by wheel than by wing. Here I thought the freedom I felt when traveling was at risk of becoming obsolete, when in reality it was the opposite. Any time there was a unique store along the road or a picturesque landscape, I simply stopped. I never could have done that in an airplane! When I finally made it to the beach at California's gorgeous Lake Tahoe, I was speechless. It was everything I could have imagined and more. The views, the smells, the sounds - breathtaking. It was in those moments, I got my freedom back in the middle of a pandemic. -
2020-03-05
The Sounds of a Casino
Living in Las Vegas and working in a hotel and casino, I got used to a few things; the sounds of the slot machines and the (albeit unpleasant) aroma of cigarettes and cigars. After being brought back to work after the shutdown, what I immediately noticed was how much quieter the casino floor was with all of the restrictions in place. There was a limit to how many guests we could have in, and social distancing meant only every other machine could be used. While wearing a mask and having plexiglass in front of my station, I had to get used to projecting my voice so that guests could hear me while I was trying to help them. Even now, I still wear a mask and have to actively make an effort to be heard. -
2022-08-22
Sensory Roadblock: Unexpected Detriments and Benefits of Mask-wearing in Gathering Food and Information
During the pandemic, I opted to order all of my groceries online to be delivered. I have never been much of a take-out person and mostly cook at home, so I really love to pick my ingredients when grocery shopping. Missing the in-store grocery shopping experience over the past few years, I sometimes go out to gather my fresh foods, especially after the normalizing of social distancing and mask regulations. Though I still prefer to wear a mask, even when regulations are occasionally loosened, a sensory occurrence that I did not expect to miss or lack as a consequence of mask-wearing is the importance of smell in my food-gathering habits. Being able to check the ingredients for both flavor and freshness qualities by smelling them is such a natural instinct that most lifeforms use to find their food. I never considered myself someone who actively smells things very often, so this sensory roadblock surprised me, as I initially chose to go to the store to get better foods than those that had been delivered to me. I have often come home and found that the asparagus or meat that I had just bought had that unpleasant odor of food past its prime, even though its appearance and texture seemed just perfect. I also miss being able to smell the full intensity of the fresh-cut flower bouquets that proclaim the seasons when going out grocery shopping. This temporary lessening of sense-of-smell from wearing a mask has been a bit of a hinderance in such ways, but it has been beneficial in many others. For example, I have dust allergies and used to become very stuffy after visiting my library due to the book dust—especially since, as a history and art history graduate student, all the books that I want or need to check out are usually the oldest or dustiest ones! Not being able to smell or breathe-in these things has helped me dramatically in my experience of information gathering. I can now spend hours looking over books that I wouldn’t have thought of opening before and have found some wonderful sources for my research. Though of course many historical texts are fully available in online formats and an invaluable resource, I often feel the same way about visiting my library as I do visiting my grocery store—I hope to find something myself that might work even better for my own project, either culinarily or academically. -
2020-04-10
Bring The Noise
Bringing music into the home to ease the pandemic woes. -
2021-02
Hoping for Good Days
It was several months since my last day in a classroom. March 13, 2020 to be exact. Friday the 13th. The previous school year we were told it was to be a possible 2 week break that ended up going until the end of the year. What was to become of the next school year of 2020-21? I tried to stay optimistic over the summer and enjoy the time spent with family. We were lucky to have each other and have a yard and house where we felt safe to be quarantined. I knew a lot of my students were not so lucky in that they lived in apartments with several family members. Still I wanted to be optimistic about the upcoming year. As the start of school year date got closer, it was apparent we were to continue online teaching via zoom. I felt I was pretty tech savvy and could integrate technology enough to keep my students engaged, but it was still challenging. I taught incoming freshman 9th grade students. They did not get the “new students” experience of coming to my school and meeting and greeting all the faculty and each other. Initially the expectation was to have all students have cameras on, and for the most part in that Fall semester, my students did. But then towards the break students started getting sick, parents were losing their jobs, some even lost family members. People were sad. We barely made it into the winter break with students attending “online”. I was fortunate to have most of my students log in but in other classes students stopped showing up. And if they did log in, cameras were off and it felt like talking to a void. Were they still paying attention? Were some of them just logging in and doing other things like playing video games or sleeping? I was frustrated, but also empathetic knowing for a lot of these students survival, not academics, was their priority during the time. After the winter break and a return to zoom teaching, it was a palpable sadness. There were people who had lost loved ones, and my students were depressed. I could feel the grief and sorrow through the screen and sometimes I would weep after my classes ended for the day. I had to maintain a persona of optimism for my students online and also keep encouraging their academic pursuits. I have never had such a challenging teaching year like the 2020-21 year. The sensory experience I am recalling is sometime in February of 2021. It was the second semester of school, back from the break and many people had a rough time of the holiday season with loneliness, fear, and loss. I don't know how I came up with the idea but I thought about students sharing playlists with the class. I would review them, and if we had a test together on zoom I would play songs on the background. One particular song I found was “Good Days” by SZA. It was not my style of music, but I knew it was what my students listened to. The day I played that song I started to get a lot of feedback from the zoom chat from all my classes about that song. By this time a majority of students had stopped showing themselves on camera and/or stopped talking, however Good Days sparked something in my students. The intro of the song is very melodic and serene. It is one of those songs that sounds very sweet, but is very sad at the same time. I could tell by the response of my students that it hit a nerve. A few of them began to speak up again in class, a few would turn their camera on again. And of course, I had several sending messages after class thanking me for the song. This happy/sad song connected me again to my students that I thought I had lost over winter break. It gave me a little hope again, and I think it gave some of them hope too. Now, whenever I hear Good Days by Sza it reminds me of those lonely online zoom classes in February and how we were all feeling a bit sad, but a simple song gave us all a bit of hope that the future was to have some Good Days ahead. Lyrics to Good Days All the while, I'll await my armored fate with a smile Still wanna try, still believe in (good days) Good days, always (good days) Always inside (always in my mind, always in my mind, mind) Good day living in my mind -
2020-06-01
Tranquility at Camarillo State Hospital
The property of California State University Channel Islands (CSUCI) was not always the site of the CSU’s twenty-third campus. From 1936-1997 the Spanish-colonial style buildings housed 7,000 of California’s mentally handicapped population at Camarillo State Hospital. The site sat vacant for 5 years from 1997 until CSUCI took over the old hospital buildings in 2002. The COVID-19 pandemic brought back an unnerving quietness, reminiscent of when the property was unoccupied. My mom and I took advantage of how serene the campus was and made a point to walk our dogs there several times per week. We did it not just to get out of the house, but due to how enjoyable it was to take in the beauty of the campus. Recalling these memories strongly evokes all five senses and immediately brought me back to the lockdown times of the early pandemic. The absence of college students rushing to their next class made the campus strangely quiet, but there was an enjoyable quality to it. You would occasionally hear ocean breezes whizzing around the vacant corridors and then immediately get greeted with the smell of salty beach air. It would be common for the air to be mixed with the smell of cilantro and strawberries being harvested at farms surrounding the campus. However, not all smells are made equal. When the winds would change, the on-site wastewater facility would waft heinous odors into the direction of the campus, momentarily ruining the blissful experience. The open corridors of the former hospital buildings contain steady slopes, occasionally requiring one to hold the handrails that have stood for nearly one hundred years. It always made me dive back in history and think about the thousands of patients at the hospital that probably held onto that same rail. At times we would hear screeching from the sky near the old Receiving and Treatment hospital where the current university library stands. We both would look up and see large turkey vultures or hawks elegantly gliding over the thousand-acre property, creating a picturesque scene above us. Now that we are in a post-pandemic world trying to return to normal, these experiences are not quite the same as they were in the height of the pandemic when the school was completely emptied. Students have returned to the dorms, and university-related events are once again a common occurrence throughout the campus. -
2020-03
Bells Continued to Ring
When the pandemic began, I was finishing up my last few months of student teaching. My mornings included talking to students about their day and weekend plans they had; however, once the pandemic started that changed drastically. The students were gone and the silence began. Highschools are customarily, a loud and busy environment; yet, overnight the students were gone and there was nothing at school but silence. The halls were empty, my classroom was empty, the whole school was empty apart from a small group of staff. For the rest of the year, I would go to school and sit in my classroom alone in almost complete silence. No face to face interaction with students or even other staff. As a teacher, this was taxing on my mental health. From one day to the next my entire occupation had been flipped upside down. I never saw my students again. I still wonder what became of them. The one thing that sticks in my mind from that period is the sound of dismissal bells at school. For some reason the bells continued to ring even though there were no students. Everyday when that first hour bell would ring I would remember that no students were coming. This was a reminder everyday that the world had changed. I recorded the sound of dismissal bells at my highschool. Two years after the pandemic started, this sound still reminds me of teaching during the pandemic. -
2021-01-15
The Smell of Venetian Canals
In January of 2021 my husband and I traveled to Venice Italy for a quick weekend getaway to meet up with my brother & his family. My husband and I had visited Venice before, but not since COVID, let alone during a time when regulations in Italy were quite strict; vaccine documentation had to be shown everywhere we went, masks needed to be worn at all times, etc. Upon arrival to the city, there were several things that instantly struck both my husband and I in regard to the changes we were now witnessing. A far different Venice than the one we experienced a few years before. Not only FAR less crowds, all the masked faces, empty plazas once the sun set, the clear waters of the canals, but the SMELL of Venice was different. Even though I love Venice as a city, I vividly remember the unpleasant smell of the canals when we visited a few years prior, in the height of the summer. Remebering that as we took a gondola ride through the canals, I couldn't help but notice the unpleasant aroma coming from the canal waters. But now that we have found ourselves in a COVID world Venice, the smell was noticably gone, and you could actually see the bottom of the shallow canals as you walked over the bridges throughout the city. I was previously unable to notice how truly shallow the canals were until this COVID world allowed for less polluted waters of Venice, and therefore a better smelling Venice as well. -
2020-04-07
Adventures in Baking during the COVID pandemic
I was a line cook and baker for many years professionally, but ended up with severe carpal tunnel syndrome and had to find a new profession. For a while I just stopped cooking all together because it was hard for me to give up something I loved so much. But during the COVID-19 pandemic I had a lot of time on my hands, so I started baking and cooking again. I was determined to find the best sugar cookie recipe I could find. This was one of the recipes I tried out during the long lockdowns. They ended up turning out really well. -
2021-06-15
COVID-19, Masks, and Bleach at a Preschool
During the COVID-19 pandemic I worked at a preschool where I taught primarily 12-to-18-month-old children until they were ready to move onto the next class. The use of a face mask and rigorous cleaning methods were a constant part of my day for the entire time I worked there. Now, the memory of that time stands out to me the most through the feel of the mask on my face and the smell of the bleach that seemed to stay with me for days. The kids I taught were too young to wear masks (that was reserved for the two-year-old and up classes), but they did not seem bothered that the adults surrounding them wore pieces of fabric over their mouths and noses. For eight hours a day I felt the pull on my ears, the scratchy material against my nose, and the frustration of the mask muffling my voice when trying to get the attention of ten children in the classroom. Pointing out facial features like a nose or certain facial expressions like being happy or sad with a mask on became normal. More often than not, I would feel a small hand reach up and attempt (or succeed) at pulling my mask down which I proceeded to pull back on as quickly as possible while ignoring how good the fresh air on my face felt. Aside from the masks, the administration required routinely cleaning all toys used everyday with a high concentration of bleach. During nap time, the smell of the bleach filled the room as we cleaned all toys used that day, regardless of the duration of the activity. Even with a mask on, the smell lingered in my nose, on my clothes, and in the classroom to the point that I always felt that I smelled of bleach. When COVID-19 infection numbers were up in the local area or we had case in our school, the bleach concentration, as expected, went up and so did the smell. While I supported all efforts made at the preschool to reduce possible COVID-19 infections, these sensory descriptions illustrate the mental and emotional draining portion of the pandemic history. -
2020-08-11
Long-Distance Learning
The American response to the global COVID-19 Pandemic was multi-faceted. However, of specific importance to the nation were the changes made to public education. As the Pandemic resulted in the closure of businesses, teachers and students were required to continue their educational programs online from the privacy of their homes. Although the effects of distance learning will continue to be seen, virtual learning severely limited the ability of students and teachers to use sensory perception as a tool for learning and instruction. First, distance learning no longer enabled American teachers to utilize the sensory perception of “proximity.” Throughout public education “proximity” is used to encourage student engagement with both instruction and content. Many teachers will walk their classrooms during student activities and use sensory perception to sensorially inform students that they are near to them and are assessing their engagement. Teachers use this strategy as a reinforcement tool to develop students’ ability to stay on task. Yet, during the COVID-19 Pandemic, social distancing policies made “proximity” not only impossible, but also illegal, limiting to what extent teachers could use sensory perception to foster engagement and learning. Second, not only were educators no longer allowed to use the sensory perception tool of physical proximity, but also many educators were forced to rely solely on the sensory perception of sound. School districts throughout the state of California, for example, did not permit educators to require their students to verify their attendance in live video format. The result was educators and students were engaging predominantly through speaking and listening. Furthermore, being denied the sensory perception of sight, educators could not assess to what extent students were engaging with instruction and activities. In conclusion, the COVID-19 Pandemic enacted emergency response strategies which directly affected the education of Generation Z. For both students and educators, sensory perception became more limited for every student. Yet, the sciences, including social science, are built upon the empirical information a human being receives through them. Perhaps this video will serve as evidence to answer the question, “Is the right to sensory perception and scientific information included within the natural rights of life, liberty, and property?” -
2020-06-06
The Town Without a Sound.
It had been a few months after that start of the pandemic. I left my home early in the morning and noticed something odd when I got outside there was no sound. At this time of the year, I would expect to hear kids outside playing in the Cul-de-sac. It was the weekend and early in the morning I expected to hear someone working on their yard, yet no one was around I heard nothing. I also lived close to the highway and if it was any other day I would hear a cars and trucks going by but, today there was nothing. It gave me an eerie feeling like time had stood still or that I was the last person on earth. Lucky a few seconds later I herd a car that pulled me out of this moment of dread. My wife had just returned from working the night shift as a nurse at the hospital. I will never forget the day it was so quiet that I felt the earth stand still. -
2020-03-16
Rubber Gloves, Isopropyl Alcohol and the Arizona Heat
Arizona State University employees, myself included, were sent home mid-March of 2020 due to the rising concerns of Covid-19. I recall driving home that initial day thinking that a sea change was upon us and that uncertainty lay ahead. How would I balance my concerns about this unknown virus yet help keep the peace in my house with my wife and our young boys as the country learned how to live with our new, unwelcome guest? Little did I know the biggest changes in our lives would be the small changes in our daily routines. In looking back at those first days, one scene that was routinely repeated in particular plays out in my memory. We quickly shifted our grocery shopping from in-person purchases to ordering on-line and picking up food curbside outside of the store. Before bringing the food inside our house, my wife and I had agreed that we would wipe down our new food packages with paper towels soaked in isopropyl alcohol. At the time it was unclear if the virus survived on packaging for long periods so we thought it best to disinfect the food. Looking back on it now, it seems silly but the scene still plays out in my memory: I can still smell the latex of the rubber gloves I would put on so as not to completely dry out or burn my hands. When pouring the alcohol onto the paper towels, the smell would sting my nose and a tingling sensation would pervade my nasal passages. When wiping the plastic packaging of say, frozen vegetables, I would hear the crinkling sound of the bag and it would resonate through my ears. To compound the smells and sounds of this process, I would be remiss to not include the fact that this was all taking place in our garage during one of the hottest Arizona springs and summers on record. The heat was oppressive that season, enough to identify with that 'oven blast' description we use in this region and I would be dripping with sweat by the time the task was complete. To say the least, it was a surreal experience; one where if you had told me two weeks earlier, I would be wiping down groceries in a stifling garage to prevent a possible infection of an unknown virus, I would have laughed at you but, alas, I was there and the senses surrounding the scenario were real. -
2022-06-26
Flying with Disease
Flying home from a tournament, where my team suffered defeat after defeat, I was not aware of much outside of my muscle aches, my mental and emotional exhaustion, and the bitter taste of failure in my mouth. The first twenty minutes of the flight was uneventful, just the occasional cry of a child, the subtle rock of the plane in turbulence, the dim light by which I read my book. Soon, as the turbulence died down, and the child fell asleep in the arms of its mother, every single person on the plane became distinctly aware of the continuous coughing of a lady wearing her mask. I had forgotten to grab one for the flight home, despite every intention of wearing one, and nobody else on the flight had one. Conversations noticeably died down as the coughing continued, and even seemed to get more frequent and intense. I put down my book, donned my headphones, and tried to watch a movie to drown out the noise. People shot furtive glances at the lady in question, all of us wondering from the sound of her cough, if she had Covid. The more I heard it, the angrier I felt, and the more afraid I got. I am an athlete and young, so would likely be fine if I caught Covid. However, my girlfriend and little sister are both high risk, and I did not want to risk exposing them. I managed to calm myself as to not make a scene, worthless at this point tens of thousands of feet in the air. I could not know the situation of the lady, whether she had a choice to be on this flight, or had to return home, attend a funeral, or whatever other reasons she may have had to go on a flight, sick, while there was a global pandemic. All I can tell you is that from the sounds of uncomfortable shifting in seats, the murmurs pointed at the lady, and the otherwise silence of the formerly talkative plane, nobody felt entirely safe or comfortable. I ended up catching Covid-19, and unknowingly giving it to my girlfriend who I live with. Despite having to take her to the hospital briefly, we both ended up fine. Whether our cases of Covid were from the lady on the plane or somebody else, I will never know. But the sound of incessant coughing during this pandemic still has the same effect wherever I go, creating a perceptible unease. -
2020-03-21
The Day the Call to Prayer Changed in Cairo
If there's one thing you can count on in the Muslim world, it's the call to prayer (adhan) audibly marking the sun's path through the sky, and everyone's route to a mosque, five times a day. It might sound a little different in various regions, a little more musical in Egypt, a little less practiced sometimes in Kyrgyzstan, but it's always the call to prayer, and has been for over 1000 years. But across the Muslim world in March 2020, as mosques closed because of the coronavirus pandemic, the call to prayer was adapted. Instead of saying, "Come to prayer, come to salvation" it said in Egypt, "Pray in your homes, pray on your travels." The wording had been changed like this a few times in the past when mosques were closed because of war or plague or weather, but I honestly never thought I'd hear it myself. The call to prayer seems constant and unchanging, part of the highly sensory experience of Muslim prayer, so this adaptation made the pandemic more present for everyone in Egypt. I'm not Muslim myself, but I talked with Muslim friends all over the world about the change in the adhan. One woman in Kuwait said, "It just sounds so... ominous.. especially at maghrib prayer, it's sunset and getting dark, and the voice over the loudspeakers is saying to stay home... also because I have never, ever heard them change it like this before. Ever. It's like I'm waiting for an eclipse, and the flocks of birds flying away, animals fleeing, etc." I took this video during the last prayer of the day on 21 March 2020 at a mosque near our apartment in Cairo, Egypt. If you're not familiar with the adhan, you obviously won't notice anything different, but this rendition is beautiful even if you don't understand it. If you do, the new wording begins at 1:13. The beginning of the video is a little bumpy while we were getting to the right spot, but then it settles down a bit. -
2020-03-15
"Handwash Everyone"
I worked at a McDonald’s in March when the United States went into lockdown. Before the lockdown, the drive-thru line was long, the lobby was full of customers, and employee’s rushed around everywhere. The restaurant was always loud with fryers beeping, headsets beeping, customers ordering and complaining, and employee’s trying to have conversations with each other while taking orders all at the same time. People were constantly sneezing, coughing, or sounding like their voices were hoarse, and no one thought anything of it. Everyone went on about their business. After the pandemic, the restaurant was quieter. No more customers were in the lobby, fewer people came through the drive-thru, and fewer employees were at work, less food was being made, so the fryers beeped less often, as did the headsets that warned us when customers wanted to order. One new sound we could all rely on was the alarm that went off every hour, followed by a manager yelling out that everyone needed to wash their hands. The sound of a raspy voice from a customer, a sneeze, or a cough echoed from the speaker above side one in the kitchen, though the entire restaurant and employees would all look at each other in disgust, sure that this customer must have the Corona Virus. The employee in the first booth taking the payment would instantly remove their gloves and rush to scrub their hands before retrieving a new pair of gloves. The person in the second booth who handed the food out the window would be stretching their arm out the window as far as they could in an effort to stay as far away from the person as possible before repeating the same ritual as the last employee in disinfecting themselves. Sounds that usually just fell into the background noise and people assumed were allergies or just a simple cold suddenly elicited a significant amount of fear in my friends and co-workers. While things have mostly gone back to normal, the handwash alarm and manager yelling for a handwash is an hourly reminder that Covid-19 is still around. -
2020-06-21
Disinfectant Battle at the Doctor's Office
The photo was taken at the beginning of the pandemic, probably a Friday in the summer because I was not wearing scrubs (casual Fridays). I was working in a pediatric office as a medical assistant in Litchfield County, Connecticut. If you know anything about that area, it was scary at the time because all of the families with any means in NYC were fleeing the city and coming to Litchfield and Fairfield Counties. We were quite nervous at the time that they would spread covid to our communities at the same rate as it was in NYC. Luckily it did not happen. It was a scary time, as every day we would get the ding in the morning and the end of the day of an email notification telling us how many deaths were in local hospitals, how many beds were left (spoiler- none), how much PPE was available (again, none) etc. We were so short on PPE we had to reuse our masks for a whole week (unless exposed of course). I can still remember the feeling of the little fabric “firs” that would start to itch my face after a few days, and the nice smelling essential oils we put in them to make wearing them tolerable- I used citrus smells, and my coworker used coconut. The worst was the lack of cleaning and disinfecting products. We tried to not see patients that were even remotely sick with covid symptoms because we did not have enough cleaner to disinfect the rooms after they left. When we were fortunate enough to get a new bottle of Lysol, we would take fun photos like this one of me threatening my coworker whom I suspected was covered in germs. Little moments like this helped to alleviate the stress of the moments when that email ding came in at the end of the day. -
2020-04
2020 Planner
This bullet journal, titled "Keep It Together," was created fresh after moving states in January of 2020. January through February are well organized, with the planner I drew out having individual days, and places for grocery lists, to-do lists and monthly goals. Even March keeps the same energy, stretching into the beginning of the pandemic, but April comes with a great shift. What was once a detailed planner has lost any sense of time, becoming an amalgamation of grocery lists for vague weeks, stream-of-consciousness poetry, and abandoned bullet lists of brainstorming what to do with my life...only for the journal to snap back into focus at the end of July, continuing its main function as a planner, what with less frills than before. This mirrors my own experience in 2020, as April-July was the period of time I spent alone, living in a new city, working at a fast food job that did not stop when the rest of the world did. I felt very much like my journal, unmoored and adrift, until a change in job and living situation and deciding to go back to school helped bring me some sense of purpose again. -
2020-06-11
Effects of Covid in 2020
I started college to attain my Bachelors degree in 2014, despite setbacks and working a number of part time jobs along the way I successfully graduated in 2020. Unfortunately 3 months into my final semester the world was put on pause In a way. Everyone across the world was asked to quarantine, to limit physical contact, and not gather in large crowds. Years of yearning for the recognition of graduating in front of my friends and family as I walked across the stage to get my diploma became a mere dream in my head. My graduation took place digitally and while I am grateful for the recognition and fully aware of the circumstance the world was under, it is still something I wish I had experienced in my life. The pandemic put many events on hold but I surely wish the events that transpired weren't so poorly timed and that I experienced the recognition of graduating in pre pandemic era. -
2020
Daily Entries
The three index card entries represent our emotions and actions at the start of the pandemic. I came back home from school to live with my mom so we relied on one another for emotional support. The shared journal helped us record our daily activities, take note of our current state of minds, and allowed us to 'take it one day at a time.' The act of writing down our movements (or lack thereof) and accomplishments (ranging from submitting my thesis to making sweet potato fries) helped us recognize that time was passing and that good days were approaching. We continued to write in our shared spiral journal for about 6 months. The entries are important to me because they reflect how my mom and I were feeling at a very uncertain and unique time in history. While I don't feel comfortable reading through them all just yet, I'm excited for the day when enough time has passed and I can reflect on the months in isolation in an objective manner.