2020-05-07For my primary source, I selected an essay that was written by me my first semester in my Psychology class. I don’t exactly know the date it was made or submitted, there were question we were supposed to respond in our own way but it’s not able to be provided anymore. But we wrote it as a final in order to express the way we felt during the pandemic, also to see how our mental and our physical changes during this rough time. My professor which was called Dr. Marjorie wanted to know everyone’s story in our own words and the different perspectives that came from the students, which she enjoyed doing. I lived in New York the area of the country hardest hit by the first wave of the pandemic. I was afraid when the outbreak got worse day by day, watching how this changed every human being because no one was prepared for all this chaos that was happening. I didn’t know on March 10 that this outbreak was on campus which is why we couldn’t come back until further notice to protect us from contracting COVID. Seeing the news and watching the death tolls go up by the hour of the amount of people dying in the hospitals and others contracting the virus was horrifying and sad to watch. That’s all they gave on the news which made me paranoid and decided to stop watching it during the entire quarantine. The way I saw how the streets were empty, New York wasn’t the same anymore it looked very dull and sad as if it was the end of the world not seeing anyone outside walking or any cars either. Everything was limited especially in the supermarkets having a limit capacity of people in it, the long lines were unbearable. Not being able to go out being of how paranoid I was being around people, I lasted about 1 month and 3 days home without going out only when it was necessary to go out. I selected this important source because I want historians of the future to understand my situation as a college student living through this pandemic. Having to go from classes in person to virtual classes in a snap of a finger that’s when my frustration started, not being able to understand anything without seeing the professor to explain it to me. I had to do everything on my own without anyone’s help. Stressing me out completely, which caused drastic changes to me during quarantine. My appetite wasn’t at its best having to do so much work at a time with all my classes especially being a full time student wasn’t easy for me because I never took breaks only when I was called to eat. My body started to fail on me feeling weak, tired, and constant headaches. That’s when it all went downhill my anxiety started to crawl up on me, I didn’t know how to control it anymore because coping with it was difficult having all of these constant breakdowns, feeling tight to the chest and shaking as if I was nervous. I’ll have all that through the stress and overthinking it caused because I didn’t want to feel like a failure. Putting pressure on myself caused lots of harm which had consequences to it later on. Then I started to lose weight, not being able to wake up the same anymore as if I had no energy to do anything throughout the day. I was afraid of having a panic/anxiety attack which were the worse. I endured depression along the way as well, I started to get sick out of nowhere without having anything. The pandemic really messed me up mentally.