Items

• 2020-03-13

  In the Blink of An Eye

  Maybe if quarantine lasts three weeks, we’ll have spring break before we go back to class, I wistfully think to myself. It’s already March 13th of 2020, but the air is still nippy and my mom still makes me wear that atrocious parka. She’s been hearing all these reports about the coronavirus, and I think it’s releasing her inner germaphobe. My school day finishes off like any other, except I have to stay behind for AP Biology review, like who has review two months before an exam? Following an hour full of practice problems, workbooks, and texting my friends under my desk, it’s finally time to go home. The talk of the school is if Xaverian plans on closing for quarantine, following the footsteps of nearly every other Catholic school in the city. But I don’t even take two steps out of my desk before my iPad pings with an email. One by one, we all find out that Xaverian will be closed for the foreseeable future, and that online learning will commence on Monday. I picture using this new interface, Zoom, for class. A feeling of exhilaration grows in my chest. I can already picture it: no uniforms, and no restrictions—just a newfound capacity for freedom. Our group parades towards the lockers, gossiping while packing up our books and putting on our coats. The moment doesn’t feel real; it feels like I’m floating, suspended in the joyful innocence of being a high school senior. With our navy and khaki skirts swishing around our legs, knees exposed to the frigid air, my three friends and I begin the trek home through Bay Ridge, blissfully ignorant to the fact that it would be the very last time we ever put those uniforms back on, or that it would be three months before we saw each other next. How naïve we were walking home that day, discussing how fun and convenient online learning would be. We chat about prom dress shopping, boys, and how funny it would be to take AP exams online—not realizing that prom would be canceled, and that we would take those exams online. It was my last day of normal, the last day before everything changed for good. Three months later, I graduated high school from my porch, wistfully smiling as I was handed a trophy for becoming the Salutatorian of Xaverian High School’s Class of 2020. The following week in June, I stand on those same steps in funeral clothes, wondering how everything changed in the blink of an eye. Not even seven days after graduation, my grandma passes away alone at Staten Island University Hospital, unable to be accompanied by her family because of COVID-19. It comes out of the blue; she feels fatigued and lethargic, but refuses to get medical attention until the very last moment because of possible exposure to the virus. By the time she arrives at the hospital, they admit her in stable condition, but she never makes it through the night. As of June 20th, 2020, 176,066 Americans are dead from the coronavirus. My grandma didn’t have it, but I can’t help counting her as the 176,067th life taken away by this disease. Because of COVID-19, she skipped her doctor’s appointments, and lived in complete isolation to avoid contracting the virus. Yet in the end, it is the virus that indirectly takes her away, preventing any of her loved ones from being present in her final moments. Nearly three years later since that last day of high school, on February 21st, 2023, I can reflect on how much my life has changed. COVID-19 went on to rob me of my first two years at Brooklyn College–I spent them cooped up in my bedroom on Zoom, not meeting my newfound friends until my junior year of college. COVID-19 influenced me in my choice to be a Health and Nutrition Science major, as I hope to learn more about preventing disease and use my knowledge to make me a better physician in the future. Millions have now died from COVID-19, and my version of “normal” has forever changed. Three years ago, the future seemed bleak and dire. I still wear a mask on the train, but now I see hope in the future because of our vaccine development and how normalized it’s become to talk about public health. I can only hope that as time goes on, humanity works together to regain a sense of normalcy.
• 
  2022-05-18

  Coming back from covid

  Coming into the pandemic my friend group thought of the pandemic as early vacation like many other high schoolers at the start of the pandemic phase. As many kids in the city and country it's hard to focus when you have so many distractions around you, that's what me and my got accustomed to going to the park or texting in an Instagram group chat. The reason I bring this up is many parents felt like there was much more of a burden on them as well as students feeling unmotivated to sit down in front of a computer leading to an inferior education. That transition period back into the school building gave me much more appreciation for being in school. My journey went from struggling at the end of high school to beginning of college too little by little finding a rhythm on how to study. To sum up my story is about me going from being anxious and lazy to realizing to take school more seriously and don't worry about others and do what you need to do first before helping others. Essentially don't neglect your important work to hang out.
• 
  2022-03-02

  My life living through the pandemic

  It all started back in March 2020, when we were informed that we were going into lockdown. Schools were going to be remote for two weeks and then we would go back, or so we thought. My initial thoughts were “YAY break” since I commuted to school and it takes me about an hour and a half to two hours to reach school. With the commute being cut off my schedule I was able to sleep in more and spend more time with my dog. Having school at the beginning of the pandemic with it being online was easy and professors were understanding as we were all learning to adjust. My attention span at the time was still good but as the next semester approached it was getting worse, it was difficult to concentrate and it took a lot for me to focus. At the same time, we would see a lot of people getting sick and dying on the news. Although we all took the precautions needed, it always worried me about my family and close family friends that had to continue working. Life was “good” as days went on until April 2020 came around when I lost two family members. It was a tough time for not just me but also for some of my younger family members. We all dealt in our own ways but one was of course being with family and keeping the happy memories alive until this day. It was also hard being isolated because I was used to seeing my friends but we learned to adjust and Facetime became more frequent, but of course, it wasn't the same. Now as we move forward two years later, March 2022, for the most part, classes are back to being in person and we were no longer staring at a screen but once again it was difficult because my body was not prepared to have to commute again. As the days go by it has gotten easier and felt worth going since my concentration is better now that it's in person. Interacting again is also better. It's nostalgic to be able to interact with others again and we are all appreciative to have the chance to share moments face to face with our family and friends again.
• 
  2020-03

  Everyday Life During Lockdown

  March 2020 when the lockdown first started I was not aware of how big this pandemic was going to be. It was the second half of my senior year of high school and I remember we all thought that the school wasn’t going to close. Our principal was telling us a few days before everything was shut down that the school will not be closing and to not be worried. Next thing you know Spring 2022 is the first time back in person for most of my classes. It was a big change having school online in the beginning, it was difficult to fully concentrate in classes and harder to stay motivated. It is a weird thing to be slightly removed from the fact that I graduated high school and started college because I wasn’t able to do certain things in person. There was at least one positive experience throughout the pandemic though. My family and I would have dinner together every night then go into the living room and watch whatever show we were binge watching at the time. It was a time where we got really close and it was a nice routine to have. It was a way for us all to be together and bring some happiness in that sad time.
• 
  2020

  My Time During Quarantine

  During quarantine I had to get used to not being able to get up get fully dressed for school, get on the train, sit in a classroom and learn from a teacher talking right in front of you. Quarantine made me lazy and tired but I learned how to keep myself busy. I got into painting, learning how to do nails, and taking better care of my hair and skin. I was devastated sometimes when I was feeling like hanging out with my friends but could not because we all had to stay home for months. I spent a lot of time with my mom and we did a lot of things together like watch movies, cook and go on walks when I wanted to go outside. I spent a lot of time laying down and in front of screens that I had to get glasses that block the harsh lights because I get headaches. If we had to do quarantine again I would not mind because I know I can stop myself from being bored and help stop the spread.
• 
  2022-02-27

  The Covid-19 Pandemic

  Covid -19 has changed how many people lived their lives. It was a hard time for everyone that lasted quite long. From being unemployed, remote learning was difficult for families. I was in my senior year of highschool when the pandemic first hit. I went from being social with my friends everyday to being home quarantined with family for months. Not only was this hard but I had to learn how to adapt to remote learning. This was not an easy task due to the fact your teacher wasn't there to give you a real classroom vibe. We did not even meet on zoom til graduation. This was very upsetting because I never had a real prom and was looking forward to it for my senior year. Being a student during the pandemic was not easy. There were times I wanted to just give up because the teachers would assign a load of work sometimes with no explanation on how to go about it. I can say I made the best out of it. Though we were not able to celebrate graduation the traditional way my highschool stool did their best and it was greatly appreciated. Throughout this whole pandemic my family lost some friends. This was heartbreaking because we could not even go visit them in the hospital or anything. My family made sure every morning my sibling and I were taking our vitamins and these natural remedies to make our immune systems stronger. We changed what we usually eat to more healthy types of foods that will benefit our body. This was a hard experience for my family but we made the best out of it. We spent months together everyday because we did not want to go out and risk anything. Lysol and Bleach became our best friends over time. Food supplies became short when you went to the supermarket and many people were losing money because they couldn't go to work. This was a hard time for many families because a lot of people suffered due to these reasons. It wasn't till a couple weeks after being in quarantine for months til the government decided to give out unemployment. This was a benefit for some familie and hard for others because they still couldn't feed their families. Our lives changed from walking everyone and seeing people's faces to seeing everyone in a mask. Many people till this day don’t feel like it's safe to leave their homes. It's been two years since the pandemic first started and now we have a vaccine that's out here. This may seem like a benefit but even if you do take the vaccine you can still contract Covid-19. This is a main reason as to why many people don’t see the point of taking the vaccine. In the beginning of the pandemic the main people who were getting the virus were older people and those who had weak immune systems. Hospitals were packed with many cases and nurses even became short staff. That was a very scary time to witness the pain in the nurses and patients faces. Overall this was a time to remember. It was many hardships but we made a huge progress to where we are today. I am glad to say I am fully vaccinated so I am doing what's best for myself. I am in college now and finally in a inperson classroom. They soon will drop the mask mandate which will be a complete change when you see people’s faces again. I am glad we are getting back to our normal lives.
• 
  2020-08-27

  Returning back to school

  In the past year, I have experienced more stress and fatigue while attending virtual school, especially as I began my freshman year of college in 2020. Freshman year of college is a brand-new experience for all students, and going to school during a pandemic has changed what I thought college would be for me. I remember the exact moment when schools closed in 2020 because I was a senior in high school when the Department of Education announced that all schools need to close because the pandemic had just started making society nervous. I used to participate in my school’s music program, but when my high school sent an email that all classes had been shifted to online classes, it was a shock to everyone, including the teachers. When the online school first started, we were all unsure of how it would work, and my friends and I began questioning how we could take classes online and submit our homework. When I was a first-year college student, it has been difficult to connect to other students, because many of my high school friends went to a different colleges,s and making friends in online classes can be difficult. Unfortunately, I did not have the chance to say goodbye in person to my high school friends because our graduation ceremony was canceled. I have only gotten to know my fellow peers briefly in online classes; I learned that making friends in classes has been different, because we are only connecting on social media outside of class, and not getting to interact with one another on campus, in study groups, or at the library. Finally, most of the classes go back in person and we are able to build social relationships with others and experience real college life as a college student.
• 
  2020-03-15

  Working the ENTIRE Pandemic & not reaping any REAL BENEFITS.

  COVID-19 in my opinion came out of nowhere and our former president didn't take it serious enough hence why we had to quarantine in the first place. I worked various jobs throughout the pandemic. I worked at Burger King & I was a Home Attendant during quarantine. My favorite part with working two jobs and going to school was getting off early, not having to clean after people and school was FULLY ONLINE. That had to be my favorite part. I'm not a fan of Brooklyn College AT ALL, so being online mad it easier to like school. At the time I was a BIO major and the Biology Department was not attentive.. Its like people became lazy and didn't want to do the job THEY GET PAID TO DO. Anywho, Around May I left Burger King and went to Amazon & was still a Home Attendant. Left Amazon & went to PLS a Check Cashing company by far my favorite job thus far. There were various job opportunities around, everyone should've been making money in the pandemic. Not to mention stimulus checks. Lots of people definitely reaped the benefits from the pandemic and unfortunately some lost families to the pandemic.
• 
  2020-03-12

  Quarantine Life

  I am submitting a small glimpse of what life was life for me during Covid 19 and quarantine
• 2020

  Finding Time

  Over the last five or so years, I've been dreaming about some event that would stir up some excitement in New York City, preferably some good event, but an event nonetheless. Never did I dream that it would actually come true, unfortunately in the form of a worldwide pandemic. Why couldn't it be something more fun, like aliens (although it seems like we might be getting there)? While the pandemic didn't bring anything exciting per se, it brought some change with it. When it began to be taken more seriously last year (2020), when all the shutdowns began to occur, I saw a major change in my day to day life. From being laid off of work, not being able to go to classes in-person anymore, and not being able to see any friends in person either, the normal, repetitive life that I had gotten so used to had disintegrated within just a couple weeks, if not shorter. It forced me to look at things in a different light, and as I was forced to be by myself for most of it, as we all were, I felt as if I needed to find some positivity and motivation in the few things I could do and had control over. I finally had time to focus on myself and made sure things like my physical/mental health and education were a priority. I took up cycling, as it was one way for me to be active and remain safe because it's not really something you need to do with others, and that opened the world up to me, especially with how empty the city was. Even my quiet pocket of Queens got quieter as barely anyone was outside, so while it did feel a bit post-apocalyptic out sometimes, it also gave me a sense of peace and freedom. Also, with having so much more time at home and not having to commute, I took advantage of online-learning to really give myself as much time as I needed, instead of the previous sense of rush and urgency I used to feel when it came to assignments, and actually turned my grades around pretty drastically. While the pandemic has been horrific on most fronts, by working my hardest to make the best of it, I've been able to better myself as it's given me time to enact real self-care. Something I've never taken the time to do before.
• 2020-03-15

  The Pandemic Student

  Being a student during the COVID-19 pandemic seemed easy at first since we were all going to be at home for the rest of the Spring semester of 2020. I thought of it as a time to finally relax and slow down on classes now that we were going to be home. But I didn't expect the amount of change the pandemic actually brought to my life. I didn't realize how much I relied on my everyday school schedule to organize my daily routines. When in-person classes stopped, the first week of classes at home seemed easy. I thought I could do it. But as time passed, I realized how difficult it was to keep up with class demands as well as home demands now that both were in the same environment. Some of my classes became asynchronous, while others became live. Waking up on time became difficult when I was able to stay in the comfort of my bed the whole day. And being on my laptop for all of my classes made it easy to be distracted by other things on the internet. Being at home meant I could fall asleep in class without anyone directly seeing me. With no school schedule, such as common hours, walking to and from classes, meeting up with friends during gaps, the routine in my life seemed non-existent. I was at home all day, and my sense of order seemed to fade as the semester went on. The type of student I used to be was usually a lot more punctual, submitting assignments on time, taking notes during class, finishing homework early. But the type of student the pandemic changed me into was lazy, sleepy, tired, late in submitting assignments, more careless about classwork and homework, skipping a lot of note-taking in class, and delaying work. My orderly life, my daily routine, was now out of order and out of routine. It became very hard to be a good student during the pandemic because my lack of motivation swooped low. By Fall semester of 2020, I was already falling off track within the first two to three weeks. By the end of the semester, I even failed to submit an important final on time. Although I was becoming such a terrible student, many of my professors remained understanding, kind, and caring, giving me extended time on late assignments, and providing support when I needed it. I don't think I would have passed all of my classes if it weren't for the kindness of many of my professors. My worst semester was Spring of 2021. I had to take a writing intensive course. Although I was only taking 4 classes, that one class felt so heavy that it was the main course I was focusing on. The course also had a lab section, which would've been better done in-person. Doing in-person classes online was not the best experience. While in an in-person lab students would be working together and classwork would be done together, online we were just given directions and told to submit the classwork after working on it ourselves. It became so difficult that I ended up dropping the class and taking it again in the summer. Though it was my worst semester ever, my professors were still so kind and understanding, supporting my decision and wishing me well. Although it seemed being a student during the pandemic would be easy at the beginning, I quickly realized how far that was from the truth. The pandemic teared apart my routine, which I didn't realize how heavily I relied on. The order in my life felt close to chaotic at some point and affected so many aspects of my life: as a student, a daughter, a sister, my religion, and my social life. Right now, during the Fall 2021 semester, I'm still working on building up my routine and trying to stick to it, despite being at home. I've regained some of my motivation and try to submit assignments on time, but I don't always succeed. Balance is hard when two different parts of one's life—in my case, my school and home life—become one and the same. I had a hard time allocating appropriate time for school and appropriate time for family, chores, and self-care. Perhaps by now I've gotten a bit used to the pandemic, but still prefer in-person as it would bring back that order in my life: waking up, getting ready, going to class, finishing class, doing work during schedule gaps, going to another class, etc. Now my schedule is more like: wake up, class, eat breakfast during class, be unproductive during class gaps, go to another class, etc. And through all this, I'm also on my phone or watching something else, or talking to a family member, or doing something else distracting. However, since I've been trying to build up my routine and increase my motivation, it's been easier to pay attention and work harder in class. As a senior, I obviously want to graduate on time so that is definitely a motivational factor for me to do well this semester. Because in-person class options are now available, I look forward to bringing back order to my life next Spring semester.
• 
  2020-03-28

  Life During A Pandemic

  Personal experience during the Covid-19
• 
  2021-09-27

  Unexpected

  It's a descriptive story of how covid has affected my life and its important to me because it has a long term affect.
• 2020-12-09

  Life in the Pandemic

  My life in the pandemic was tough. I couldn't work so I was not able to pay my bills, I like the rest of the world during lockdown had to sit at home bored out of my mind because nobody could leave. I was very scared for my mom when she got covid because she had oxygen issues and also heart issues. Going to school during the pandemic really bothered me because I lost a lot of focus and became very lazy when it came to handing in assignments. I would rather physically go onto campus because when I am actually listening to the professors' talk, it makes it so much easier to understand and to focus.
• 2020-10-02

  Growing Tired of This

  This might be long, but quarantine has been one of the worst experiences in my life. At first, I was kinda cool with the fact that I didn't have to go out. Not having to sit in classrooms for hours, not having to deal with hundreds of people at school, not having to deal with intense anxiety anymore! Life seemed pretty good for me at that time. Online classes during my last months in senior year of high school wasn't too bad. But when it came time for college, I was panicking. I mean, who wouldn't? Starting a brand new experience right in the middle of quarantine? That'd shake anybody in their boots. Like most things, it wasn't too bad at first. Sure, Zoom was pretty annoying to figure out, but things seemed to be running smoothly. However, in my opinion, trying to figure out Blackboard is a nightmare. That site is sooo not user friendly, it's such a complete mess. To this day, I'm STILL having trouble with it. The work load isn't too harsh, but trying to muster up the energy to do even anything during this pandemic is difficult. Everyday has started feeling the same: wake up, feel miserable, force myself to eat, try to do something productive (while feeling miserable), go to sleep, rinse and repeat. My depression has never hit this hard until starting college. On my worst days, I literally cannot bring myself to get out of bed and make myself food. I lie there with zero energy until the sun goes down. It'd be 6-8pm before I finally drag myself to the kitchen for a light meal (which is the same thing I've been eating for the past several months) or for a long, hot shower. I can hardly bring myself to focus on school work. As of writing this, it's currently 4:51 AM. My sleep schedule is an utter disaster. On most nights, I end up staying up till the sun rises. It's not too uncommon that I stay up for 20+ hours. Though this all comes crashing back to me when I end up sleeping through class Zoom calls, or even oversleeping and missing my classes entirely (it's happened twice so far and both times have spiraled me into a deep depressive episode that I won't be describing). Trying to be productive during quarantine is a joke. I have a lot of things around me that can entertain and distract me. How am I expected to focus when Twitter, YouTube, and Discord are in my reach 24/7, you know? During my classes, I just tune everything out. What's even the point of listening, when professors ramble on for a two hours about things you don't even care about, when all the assignments just consists of reading a bunch of articles that bore you to death and then having you write some response (that you can easily BS) to it? I never thought I'd say this, but I just want to be allowed to go out again. I'm tired of all of this. I'm so exhausted. Learning virtually is mentally draining. It can hardly be considered learning. I doubt anybody is really even absorbing any information being given to them during these virtual meetings, save for the few innocent souls that haven't been tainted by quarantine depression yet. I'm so sick of it all. I can't focus. I can't bring myself to do anything. I just can't anymore. (Also isn't it kinda stupid how they're letting literal children go back to school and yet campus won't be open? Okay sure, maybe it's because CUNY has way more students, but still. I wouldn't trust a 5 year old to properly wear a mask for the whole day and practice good hygiene. Kids are messy.)
• 2020

  New Challenges, New Hope

  Ever since the start of the pandemic and the shift towards remote learning, I’ve faced new challenges in places I did not expect. In my home, it was hard getting used to studying and going to class whilst living in a small apartment that I share with my family; I did not having adequate space to learn and read, but my family and I worked something out and now I could/can study with ease. Additionally, I could not talk to my friends and interact with them, even online, given how I had to focus 2x more on my studies but I realized that my friends were experiencing the same thing and we soon planned several days to just talk online and interact. With COVID-19 and police violence spreading like wildfire, I feared what was going to happen to my family, friends, professor, class colleagues and more. However, seeing how people got together, helped each other, protested, united and worked in solidarity, it showed me something: hope. That even in the hardest times in life, there is still hope.
• 
  2020-09-27

  The Student-Teacher Experience

  When COVID-19 hit, i was in my last semester of college. The semester was already overwhelming for me because I was juggling extra-curricular activities, two part time jobs and full time education. I was student teaching, but at the beginning of march, I kept telling myself I had more time to complete the requirements and that when things calmed down in May I would be able to complete my degree. I was wrong. At first we were home, having class discussions about the possibilities of things, we never imagined that we would not be back in schools. Accommodations were made for all the student teachers, regarding our exams and requirements. This should have made it easy to finish my degree on time, but with all the factors in place: documenting the work completed in-person, completing new assignments, completing certification exams, all to get a degree to begin teaching during COVID - Subconsciously I didn't want to do it. So I didn't. I knew I had an understanding professor who would give me an incomplete, and that was the excuse I needed to put off graduating. I hated my student teaching experience, I felt cheated and underprepared. I kept trying to think of was to do it over again, from the start with no extra things on my plate, but I couldn't. I need to finish the class as it was presented to me.
• 
  2020-09-27

  Life in Quarantine

  I never expected that this virus would shut down the world. One day I’m sitting in class talking about the first corona case and just a little later I hear that this will be our last in person lab. These quick changes were difficult to adjust to not just for us but for the professors as well that have never done remote learning. A biology class I was doing decent in, completely ruined by this remote learning. In order for the professor to target those who were using help from the internet, they just made the exams much more difficult and shorter than needed. But as I got used to it, I feel as I improved in my other classes. If I can, I would like to retake my biology class when we return to in person classes. This remote learning has helped in some ways too. I never thought I’d have more free time when I didn't have to commute. Being at home I was able to do summer classes while working as well. However, due to the pandemic, what I used to do in my free time couldn't be done because most places in this city are closed. I used to go to the gym regularly, and then I couldn't anymore. So instead, I used my free time to bike with my friends to interesting places usually by the water and just enjoy the views. The city is starting to open up with my restaurants doing outdoor dining instead of indoor which gives us the opportunity to try new flavors and new foods. My experience with this pandemic sounds very pleasant but there are families that are hurt. I am grateful for me and my family’s health. It's tragic to see this virus take so many lives. People in the medical fields are working very hard to treat these cases. I doubt things will ever go back to normal but I hope we all can enjoy the little things in our life and continue living to make ourselves better.
• 
  2019-03-19

  Beaten But Not Broken

  This year has been really challenging for me and my family especially my kids who had to resort to online learning. As I started the spring semester with confident and some excitement as I was entering my last year at Brooklyn College, anxiety ,fear, and some what nervous because this is a crucial part of completing my degree. Some may think why are you so worried you should be happy you made it this far, but coming thus far and failing a class can mean one more semester and you not been able to graduate on time can get you pretty worked up. However while al this was going on in my mind the news break that COVID 19 has taken control of our lives and we have to resort to online learning. This was not the news I want to hear, when I have never taken online classes before ,and I must say its because online I hate. Not only that, I will now become my children teacher while in school myself and this was something that I have been concern about from the beginning of the pandemic until present. Though I have manage to pass my classes it is no secret that I have been overwhelmed, sometimes thinking that its too much to for one person to do in any given day. COVID 19 has bring mores worries and stress in my life than anything I ever experience, but I am determine to overcome COVID 19 and all its challenges.
• 
  2020-09-26

  COVID-19 2020

  The story I am submitting is about people losing their jobs and homes during this pandemic. It is important to me because I know some people who have lost their jobs due to this and they were struggling to pay their bills, wondering when their next meal was going to come, even the parents who had to quit their jobs because schools had closed down so that was another stressor during this time.
• 
  2020-07-07

  A Moment in Time

  When the pandemic started effecting businesses that is when I saw things really start to shift. Family members, coworkers, and friends were losing their jobs or being converted to working remotely. For majority of the adults in my life, I remember feeling their worry of their future and their children's futures as well. Most jobs were unpredictible and there were still bills to pay. Kids were no longer attending school in person so this added another layer of stress. Worksheets needed to be printed out daily as well as the constant back and forth with teachers via email to enter the virtual classrooms through zoom links and passwords. In my home things were a bit all over the place. We are a big family of eight so things tend to be this way. A typical day in quarantine was as follows, I was considered an essential worker so I would leave to work before anyone woke up and when I came home I would take over the household so my parents could finally be able to work. My parents had to work remotely while simultaneously managing my five siblings that are all under the age of 12. Three of the five children were attending school remotely which meant preparing all the necessary worksheets, tablets/computers, and zoom links. The remaining two children are under the age of two and require a lot more hands on attention throughout the day. Luckily, we were able to have a fulltime babysitter before the pandemic hit but once the numbers of cases went up my family couldn't risk having anyone come into the home. At the time, nobody knew when the shutdown would end or what would have to change for everyone to feel safe leaving their homes but it was definitely an opportunity to really connect and grow as a family. It is rare that a family has an experience as a whole and I am glad we were all able to work together and make the most of this time. Regardless of age, this pandemic has effected us all incredibly and I will definitely look back at this strange time and appreciate the quality time I was able to have with my family.
• 
  2020

  A cacophony of silence

  This is a personal account of my time during the height of the pandemic, how it affected my studies, and ultimately the crushing loneliness of it all. Hello, My name is Shemar Providence and this is my account of the COVID19 pandemic. I will begin at the start of the virus. During this time I was going to classes as normal. The virus had become known as it swept through Wuhan china. My mother and I were worried that it would eventually make its way over to the states. Overall I would describe the climate around the virus as a general sense of apathy. “As long as it wasn't over here everything is fine” was a common sentiment among my peers as well as governing officials. It was the beginning of March when it began to spread like wildfire in new york. The most apathetic of us were now worried or decided to stay home. Colleges began to transition to online learning to stop the spread. Within about 2 weeks, from the gossip to the first outbreak, New york was put into a standstill. I was born with asthma as well as a weakened immune system. For me, the virus was a matter of life and death. I live with my mother who quarantined me in the house until the virus would cool down. We bought masks, hand sanitizer, gloves, whatever we could get our hands on to keep each other safe. During this time the mania had begun all over the country. People were buying things in bulk fighting each other over the most basic of things. It was a mess. it was approaching the end of March. In just a few short weeks I got a glimpse at what pandemonium looked like. Remote learning was a challenge. My neighborhood had poor connectivity issues. For about half of April, I had no internet connection and could not reach 2 of my professors. I ended up not getting credit for those classes. For the other professors, I was able to reach I was able to come up with a compromise. A lot of instructors weren't really well versed in remote learning and would go missing some days. With poor connectivity zoom meetings would stutter and stop. Overall the entire learning process was halted not only for me but for others as well. Considering how many others had a poor connection and were forced to drop classes. The greatest thing to experience first hand was the politics of the virus. You would think a matter pertaining to community health would not become a divisive issue but it was. Like everything in recent years, it had to be split down the middle to appeal to the most radical on both sides. Some people were saying it was a hoax and that the government was seeing how far they could control people. These people felt as though being forced to wear a mask violated their civil liberties. These were the most apathetic of us not caring about what happens to those of us who are less healthy. They bemoaned anyone who would wear a mask as a democrat thus sparking the aforementioned democrats to return fire. And like that the division grew. I think the isolation from the quarantine probably helped to heighten tensions but looking at it live it just seems so stupid. A matter as simple as stopping the spread became a democrat and republican issue, and a rights issue. republican s even put less emphasis on the virus due to it spreading in primarily blue states. It was all truly awful. With the country seemingly falling apart in pandemonia staying at home felt more and more suffocating. The same four walls became a coffin of sorts. If the virus got in I would be done for. However, I was still dead to the world around me. Keeping touch with friends was my only salvation between schoolwork and deafening silence. It didn't help that my own mother kept live streaming the ongoing pain at its height. I couldn't escape it. The death of the depression the pain. It was all around me. People I knew and loved in my neighborhood died and I couldn't even see them go. I grew depressed and more cynical as a person. It seemed like hell. It just kept going and going. School ended leaving me more depressed over my studies than ever. But at least the rate of death had started to decrease. It is starting to get better, slowly but surely. But it still feels as though there is worse yet to come. This year has been so divisive and sad. And I feel like it will just keep getting worse.
• 
  2020-04

  The impact COVID-19 had on my mental and emotional health.

  My experience throughout this unexpected pandemic took a toll on my state of mental and emotional health. When I first found out about how quick this virus was spreading throughout our city, schools were still not closed officially and I was still traveling on public transportation to work. When taking public transportation, due to the lack of masks, I had to wear a scarf around my face because that was the only way I could think of protecting myself. I was anxious all the time, but most especially on the train and bus rides, my anxiety would get the best of me, so much that at times I felt like I had to hold my breath so that I can minimize my exposure to contracting this virus. Once things started getting really bad and schools and non essential jobs finally shut down, it was a slight relief. Switching from in person lectures to virtual learning was not as easy as I had thought it would be. I was now not only anxious and worried because of this pandemic and the health of myself and my loved ones but also because I was having a hard time trying to adapt to a different style of learning. I was taking two science courses, both biology and chemistry which were not the easiest topics for me. To prevent us from "cheating" professors had made the exams much harder which was another stressor. Throughout the spring semester I was staying up really late at night trying to study in every way possible so that I would do well on my upcoming exams. Whenever I had the time to sleep I just couldn't because my anxiety wouldn't let me. I would have never imagined this getting so bad, I thought maybe with quarantining we would have it under control but unfortunately this virus is still on going and who knows when we'll get back to what was considered normal.
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  2020-03-31

  Hate Speech: Community and Family

  The covid-19 pandemic has shaken the world in an unexpected way including myself. Several Americans have been affected by the pandemic losing jobs with panic wreaking havoc across the nation. My family was also affected with the pandemic as they operated a family owned restaurant. Many customers started to slowly disappear until my family was forced to close the restaurant from quarantine. Everyone that I knew was affected mentally as they did not know what to do indoors and eventually broke down. During this time, I was also in my second semester of my freshmen year looking forward to interacting with new people and professors. My first semester was enjoyable as it was a whole new experience that I was exploring. The pandemic made all classes remote and the atmosphere just did not feel the same as being in person. I was overwhelmed as most of my family lost their jobs including myself and the transition to online was unexpected. I lost all motivation to even focus on schoolwork as I was also affected mentally, but I managed to get through. The reopening phase of New York slowly recovered my family as they were able to open back their restaurants, but there was still a decrease of customers. The pandemic was not the only cause of the decrease of customers, but also my family being Asian was a factor. Many people engaged in targeting Asians around my area as the form of hate speech grew more severe as time passed by. My family did not feel safe operating their restaurant as they would not know what would happen to them. The community around me were mostly Asians and there was an increase of violence around my area. The community used to be lively with neighbors interacting with their kids constantly with everyone knowing each other. However, everything changed as everyone is staying indoors and is afraid to walk out in fear of being victims of the pandemic and hate speech. This story is important to me as the pandemic not only affected my family, but the community I live in. family, hate speech, restaurant, job, college, community, Asian
• 
  2020-09-15

  My COVID 19 dilemma.

  Throughout my life I have heard stories about past and all the hardships that was encounter and I never thought I will go through the same thing. 2020 brought about a pandemic that will always be remembered. The virus was heard in December 2019 and everyone downplayed the seriousness of it. Everyone thought it was not serious however as it traveled across the globe it laid waste in its path. Killed about 1 million people including friends of mine who fell victim to it. I was emotionally drained and physically depressed due to our new style of living. We lost what we knew was life. Our every day norm and the whole world was on pause. Class being moved to remote didn’t help me academically because not only was I distracted but I kept thinking of what was going on in the world. COVID 19 affected me by ruining all the opportunities I had lined up for 2020, it wasted 1 year of my life and I failed to do anything productive. If life has thought me anything is that nothing last forever and fortunately we are beginning to enter our old life and I can make up for everything I couldn’t have done this year.
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  2020-03-20

  The Real Pandemic: How America Believed the Coronavirus Proved the Existence of Educational Inequity

  I am submitting an auto-ethnography on my experience as a college student in the CUNY educational system during the transition to online learning and the pandemic.