Items

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  2021-05-20

  A Potentially "Deadly" Decision

  The vaccination was a crossroads decision in my life. I hated that people trusted a vaccine that was rushed into existence, forced on the people by exploiting their fears. Although, I did see the benefits of having this on my record, I still had fear that the vaccine would have unwanted effects on my body, but my fears weren't worth putting my fellow man in danger of contracting a disease that could potentially kill others. I had to make a decision in order for my life to get back on track. I was tired of being stuck in a confined space without social interaction. Being away from friends and family wasn't worth it. So I got my vaccine. Thinking about it now, I am thankful that I was able to overcome my anxiety about the covid vaccine, but I hope in the future there will be a better alternative for the current options we have now.
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  2021-12-28

  COVID-19 Infectious Snowballs

  COVID-19 gave us a tough time, and many of us haven’t had a chance to stop and check in with ourselves about what has actually been happening around us. Coming to New York was a new beginning for me that came with additional responsibilities. I had to balance my personal and academic life, family’s financial needs, extracurricular activities, and work. Just when I felt that everything was going smoothly, I was shattered to hear that it had been three months since my I-20 was terminated because of an academic document transfer issue. I could not go back to my country as I was part of “Hizmet,” a faith-inspired civil society movement, which at that time was facing oppression and persecution due to the bogus allegations of orchestrating a failed coup in Turkey. Therefore, I had to apply for asylum, which caused me a lot of stress, and it affected my academic career as I had to focus on court procedures. Even though due to the pandemic, the scheduled hearings got canceled, prolonging this challenging period, and I lost my job which was the only source for me to pay for my college tuition and support my family, still I tried to engage rather than focus on the negative side of the situation and depress myself. I put all of my efforts into being academically productive and doing something one day I could be proud of by boosting my academic performance leading me get several scholarships, involving myself in research programs, and focusing on advocacy as a student leader. As the responsibilities got heavier and more stressful, I just kept telling myself: "The harder the battle, the sweeter the victory." Life goes on... This funny story comes to my mind when the topic is about COVID-19. This past winter, the weather got really cold and snowy, and the lake behind a rental Pocono house froze over. With all the snow around us, we inevitably enjoyed a good-old fashioned snowball fight where the snowballs were called the "COVID-19" infected snowballs. Once you get hit, you get the virus. However, we soon found ourselves chasing one of our friends on top of the lake due to the ferocity he threw the snowballs with. One by one, we raced our way towards the middle of the lake. It may be obvious what happened next, but it took us all by surprise at the moment. The ice that once was had cracked, and I found my body submerged in the ice-cold water. As I tried to make myself back to solid ground, the image of my other friends frantically trying to stay calm caught my attention. When we finally did make it to safety, I couldn’t help but laugh at the events that just transpired.
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  2022-03-02

  My life living through the pandemic

  It all started back in March 2020, when we were informed that we were going into lockdown. Schools were going to be remote for two weeks and then we would go back, or so we thought. My initial thoughts were “YAY break” since I commuted to school and it takes me about an hour and a half to two hours to reach school. With the commute being cut off my schedule I was able to sleep in more and spend more time with my dog. Having school at the beginning of the pandemic with it being online was easy and professors were understanding as we were all learning to adjust. My attention span at the time was still good but as the next semester approached it was getting worse, it was difficult to concentrate and it took a lot for me to focus. At the same time, we would see a lot of people getting sick and dying on the news. Although we all took the precautions needed, it always worried me about my family and close family friends that had to continue working. Life was “good” as days went on until April 2020 came around when I lost two family members. It was a tough time for not just me but also for some of my younger family members. We all dealt in our own ways but one was of course being with family and keeping the happy memories alive until this day. It was also hard being isolated because I was used to seeing my friends but we learned to adjust and Facetime became more frequent, but of course, it wasn't the same. Now as we move forward two years later, March 2022, for the most part, classes are back to being in person and we were no longer staring at a screen but once again it was difficult because my body was not prepared to have to commute again. As the days go by it has gotten easier and felt worth going since my concentration is better now that it's in person. Interacting again is also better. It's nostalgic to be able to interact with others again and we are all appreciative to have the chance to share moments face to face with our family and friends again.
• 
  2020-03

  Everyday Life During Lockdown

  March 2020 when the lockdown first started I was not aware of how big this pandemic was going to be. It was the second half of my senior year of high school and I remember we all thought that the school wasn’t going to close. Our principal was telling us a few days before everything was shut down that the school will not be closing and to not be worried. Next thing you know Spring 2022 is the first time back in person for most of my classes. It was a big change having school online in the beginning, it was difficult to fully concentrate in classes and harder to stay motivated. It is a weird thing to be slightly removed from the fact that I graduated high school and started college because I wasn’t able to do certain things in person. There was at least one positive experience throughout the pandemic though. My family and I would have dinner together every night then go into the living room and watch whatever show we were binge watching at the time. It was a time where we got really close and it was a nice routine to have. It was a way for us all to be together and bring some happiness in that sad time.
• 
  2022-03-02

  burnout

  I think these are the years of burnout. I felt so isolated during quarantine. I worked so hard to occupy myself while I heard sirens blaring from ambulances rushing. I worked so hard when things started to 'go back to normal' but people were still dying. It's years later and it's still not over. I'm so tired. Don't want to work when the world feels like it is still ending.