Description is exactly I did not expect 2020 to turn out this way, I had a year of travels planned and a summer of adventures. I remember telling patients at the pharmacy I work at that things will be fine, we just need to a little cautious but I was wrong, it seemed almost routine that we started getting phone calls informing us a patient passed away. Scrolling through any platform, I would come across a familiar face that is now gone. It became numbing when I found myself rubbing my skin raw in the shower after working 10 hour shifts, the mask tan was humorous at first now it is a little saddening this is the reality. I remember watching the news in April with my family and going "wow only 700 people died today" and wondered if that was the new reality. Sometimes all of this feels so surreal, is it really happening? I want to remain optimistic but it seems almost impossible when things never seem to get any better. This is our new normal, life before COVID will never return.