Items

• 2021-08-14

  Beware a Pandemic

  As we approached our second year of the Covid-19 pandemic things like mask and disinfecting door knobs just became a norm to me. Unconciously, I wouldn't think of Covid-19 as the virus Id just live life with the existence of COVID. I am known for my obsession of believing a single cough could mean I'm at a near death so mentally I was just exhausted. After some time I began to worry about my two year old daughter, she was starting school at a special needs program which I could not wait for. I knew my daughter's progression was one of my top priorities but what about her health and well being? I couldn't help but think "What if there is COVID in the school?" I kept my company very small as I lived alone with my daughter. The only time we were exposed to other people was when she visited her dad on the weekends, but he too was very cautious. A week into my daughters schooling I finally stoped worrying and celebrated my cousin's birthday with her. A day later my cousin had called me with the news that she was COVID positive. My mind raced as I graphically remembered my daughter sharing a bite of a burger with my cousin, it was almost no doubt in my head that we were infected. I got both of us tested that very day and we were negative but I had knowledge on this infection I still held my breath as I knew I had to retest in two to three days. After three days when I planned to get tested I woke up with soreness in my eyes and a headache, I explained my pain to my boyfriend and he had said that he felt that pain too. Minutes after I got tested and I was positive my daughter was already at her dads house so I told everyone to get tested and everyone else was fine. Two weeks, fourteen days in quarantine drove me mad. I suffer from depression and something about being completely alone triggered me. I could not eat my symptoms continued to change. I lost my taste and my sense of smell. I couldn't walk or stand for too long but honestly my common cold from a month back felt worst than this. The mental and emotional aspect of this situation is what really hurt me. I was so alone and worried I missed my child and her dad had to take off work for a week. I barely had any money and I just felt like I couldn't reach any type of human interaction even with my electronics it wasn't the same. On my tenth day of COVID I went to retest and I was negative. The after mass of Covid took a toll on me. I lost 16 pounds and I already had issues with my weight personally. My stomach felt faint and empty for weeks after the virus was gone and I felt like I did not want to go anywhere. I decided to still quarantine for the full fourteen days just to be safe and rest. My daughter's school (which she wasn't attending due to not being home) called and said someone tested positive and that school would be closed for two weeks. My mom whom I haven't seen in weeks also called on the tenth day to tell me that she had a fever and went to get tested, another positive. I felt trapped almost as if I couldn't breathe. Getting back into the real world without seeming like a hypochondriac was so tough but just like the virus things change and I was over my anxiety. All that's left now is to worry about the long term effects... Who knows what the future might hold.
• 
  2020-03-16

  Nightmare

  Covid 19 has been nothing but the worst ever since it started. The only tiny silver line i found is i was able to rest and heal my body from constantly working out and going to work. But then the situation for work changed as the schedule began to put in more hours for me and although i enjoyed learning new tasks for the job, having nothing but to do those new tasks for months was dreadful. Covid made a big impact on my relationship because it made me dependent and I constantly was on facetime with my girlfriend and now i have separation anxiety where i normal dont. I feel socially awkward as well since i barely was already going out to pretty much nothing at all. I hope i can get my own life back on track and hopefully everything returns to normal.