Items

• 2020-03-06

  The Two Week Break

  My Junior year at Midwood High School took an expected turn as a national emergency was declared on March 13, 2020. I remember watching the news with my mother, excited to see I would have two weeks off from school. My mother and I would both be home as all non-essential businesses moved to remote or closed down indefinitely. I immediately messaged my friends about the two week break, planning to play video games all day long. We spent those two weeks staying up late as if it was an extended spring break. Little did I know that those two weeks would turn into months of isolation, living in fear of going into the outside world. I feared for my father as he was a registered nurse at Woodhull Hospital. Not only did he have to go outside everyday for work, but he would be face to face with patients, many sick and dying from this new virus that took the world by surprise. There was no vaccine for almost an entire year, so all he could rely on were masks, gloves, face shields and hair nets. My father and many other medical workers were needed overtime to deal with the immense amount of patients coming in everyday. As he came home from work my mother would bring his clothes and leave them by our front door. I worried for him at work as I feared he could get this virus that we were still learning about. Thankfully he never got sick with Covid-19 during the early pandemic, and with the new vaccines in development many of our fears were put to rest. After almost two months of not having any classes we were introduced to remote learning through zoom and google classroom. It was a very new experience for my fellow classmates and I, but it was nice not having to leave your bed to go to class for a while. However that relief of not waking up early to go to class turned into yearning to go to school and seeing my friends. Waking up every morning to see a screen filled with blank profile pictures with names made me feel very lonesome. I would never imagine missing going to school, but it was something that I had taken for granted. In my senior year of high school there was the option for hybrid learning which I was very excited about, but I'd later find out that there would only be rows of desks set up in my school gyms we used for physical education. It wouldn't be the everyday schedule of switching classes and seeing my friends in the hallways and library. I ended up doing another year of remote learning which was very draining but I managed to do well in all my classes with nothing else to do. Unfortunately I did not have a prom or senior trip, but I was very lucky to have an in person graduation and see all of the people I once saw everyday again. This story of the pandemic is very significant to me as it taught me to never take things for granted as everything can change in a moments notice. The things I'd known as my everyday routine of school and hanging out became a distant memory for a long time until numbers and fears of the virus fell. Being able to go to campus now and have a regular life again is something I will now cherish forever. It is still somewhat hard to socialize again after being isolated for so long, but I have made some friends along the way and I look forward to all the memories that await me in the future.
• 2020-03-13

  In the Blink of An Eye

  Maybe if quarantine lasts three weeks, we’ll have spring break before we go back to class, I wistfully think to myself. It’s already March 13th of 2020, but the air is still nippy and my mom still makes me wear that atrocious parka. She’s been hearing all these reports about the coronavirus, and I think it’s releasing her inner germaphobe. My school day finishes off like any other, except I have to stay behind for AP Biology review, like who has review two months before an exam? Following an hour full of practice problems, workbooks, and texting my friends under my desk, it’s finally time to go home. The talk of the school is if Xaverian plans on closing for quarantine, following the footsteps of nearly every other Catholic school in the city. But I don’t even take two steps out of my desk before my iPad pings with an email. One by one, we all find out that Xaverian will be closed for the foreseeable future, and that online learning will commence on Monday. I picture using this new interface, Zoom, for class. A feeling of exhilaration grows in my chest. I can already picture it: no uniforms, and no restrictions—just a newfound capacity for freedom. Our group parades towards the lockers, gossiping while packing up our books and putting on our coats. The moment doesn’t feel real; it feels like I’m floating, suspended in the joyful innocence of being a high school senior. With our navy and khaki skirts swishing around our legs, knees exposed to the frigid air, my three friends and I begin the trek home through Bay Ridge, blissfully ignorant to the fact that it would be the very last time we ever put those uniforms back on, or that it would be three months before we saw each other next. How naïve we were walking home that day, discussing how fun and convenient online learning would be. We chat about prom dress shopping, boys, and how funny it would be to take AP exams online—not realizing that prom would be canceled, and that we would take those exams online. It was my last day of normal, the last day before everything changed for good. Three months later, I graduated high school from my porch, wistfully smiling as I was handed a trophy for becoming the Salutatorian of Xaverian High School’s Class of 2020. The following week in June, I stand on those same steps in funeral clothes, wondering how everything changed in the blink of an eye. Not even seven days after graduation, my grandma passes away alone at Staten Island University Hospital, unable to be accompanied by her family because of COVID-19. It comes out of the blue; she feels fatigued and lethargic, but refuses to get medical attention until the very last moment because of possible exposure to the virus. By the time she arrives at the hospital, they admit her in stable condition, but she never makes it through the night. As of June 20th, 2020, 176,066 Americans are dead from the coronavirus. My grandma didn’t have it, but I can’t help counting her as the 176,067th life taken away by this disease. Because of COVID-19, she skipped her doctor’s appointments, and lived in complete isolation to avoid contracting the virus. Yet in the end, it is the virus that indirectly takes her away, preventing any of her loved ones from being present in her final moments. Nearly three years later since that last day of high school, on February 21st, 2023, I can reflect on how much my life has changed. COVID-19 went on to rob me of my first two years at Brooklyn College–I spent them cooped up in my bedroom on Zoom, not meeting my newfound friends until my junior year of college. COVID-19 influenced me in my choice to be a Health and Nutrition Science major, as I hope to learn more about preventing disease and use my knowledge to make me a better physician in the future. Millions have now died from COVID-19, and my version of “normal” has forever changed. Three years ago, the future seemed bleak and dire. I still wear a mask on the train, but now I see hope in the future because of our vaccine development and how normalized it’s become to talk about public health. I can only hope that as time goes on, humanity works together to regain a sense of normalcy.
• 
  2020-04-10

  Lonely

  The pandemic made me realize how truly lonely I was and not because I didn't have people around me or people I could still communicate with. I was lonely with myself and my company. This realization hit me during quarantine. It was a very hard truth to accept but it helped me so much. I learned to be content with my own company, to learn to love myself and listen to myself. I know that others have very similar stories of how they had major life-changing realizations not just from outside forces but from within. I think it's very important not to dismiss ourselves once things return to the new normal. We need to be aware of ourselves and feed our souls as much as we nourish our minds and bodies.
• 
  2021-02-13

  My Life Changed during the Pandemic

  I've consistently been an extremely outgoing, positive, and optimistic person. There was never a moment when I wasn't socializing and beaming. However, it put me in a depressive condition during the pandemic, where I was downright isolated. Sure I was able to spend time with my family in the consolation of our home; I felt secluded from the universe. I went from someone that was frequently out to be confined to the safety of my residence. From my enthusiasm for learning to gazing at a screen and calling it my daily interaction, the pandemic took away my motivation to learn and my passion for academics. I noticed a transformation in who I was when I hardly woke up and found no inspiration for anything. I couldn't contact the support I needed because a global pandemic seized the world by storm. Most therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists weren't established for online sessions. I attempted suicide in 2021, and I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. I was admitted into a suicide prevention program and was provided daily antidepressants to suppress the desire to commit suicide. Now that the world is gradually yielding to what seems ordinary, I'm attaining my life back. However, the person I was before the pandemic is gone, and I'm still attempting to discover myself every day.
• 
  2020-03-17

  First time.

  I remember exactly the day before they shut down workplaces and college on Tuesday St Patrick's day I went out to go eat dinner with my friends at Outback Steakhouse and we were all saying how everything will be shutting down and how this will be a one month thing, like in a joking manner, I even went to cancel my gym membership and all that just incase without knowing what was to come after. School went online, I got a call from work that they were closing for awhile until they allowed dine-in again and they did not do take out at all, so there was no work at all for my coworkers or myself. School then was shut down for 2-3 weeks while they transitioned online which was a weird thing for both professors and students to get adjusted to. Then walking outside in Bay Ridge and not seeing 86st full of people and just looking like a ghost town area which was just a scary sight to see. All of this was just weird and kind of stressful, because there was no work at that moment, no hanging out with friends as much as you would want to or seeing family and then seeing your neighborhood go from busy to empty was a weird sight to see. Not being able to see friends or family for a long time really affected me seeing them online games or on social media helped, but it was not the same as seeing them in person. I did not have that many bills to pay off at that time, but not having a job worried me a bit when it came to paying phone bill and other items.
• 
  2020-06-16

  An Important Era In History

  My experience during the covid19 pandemic was very difficult. My life shifted so quickly from being outside every day and being active to being stuck at home every day and attending classes through zoom. The most difficult was shifting classes through zoom because I would not interact with my classmates and would sometimes get lost in my assignments. Something that was difficult was being home alone and not being able to visit my mom and brother because I did not want to risk my mom on catching covid.
• 2020

  More Time

  I am submitting some personal thoughts that I’ve had while sitting at home during the pandemic. Before my life was constantly moving with school and work and friends and being out and about and when the pandemic hit it slowed everything down. With less time commuting between school I had more time at home to complete assignments to complete housework and still have time left over. I had time to think. I myself am an over thinker so when the pandemic hit and I found myself with all of this time all I could do his thing over and over and over again and play one scenario in my head 1000 times. And then I will go to sleep and I would wake up and think about the next thing over and over again. This pandemic gave me time to really dig within myself and find the things I don’t want to change because I had the time to think and organize. This also brought me into a bit of a dark place because with all this time to think I then began to look back at my experiences and even though they are lessons some of them are filled with regret and fear and anger and that brought me to a dark place. It also allowed me to grow and show me what I can do better, what I can incorporate in my daily life and how to be a better person for me. Even though it was as if the world was on pause my life said play. With all this time I could reorganize and re-prioritize myself and list out my goals and accomplish things that I haven’t had a chance to. It also allowed me to take an extra minute to look at how I’m treating myself and I thought let’s take some more time for personal care let’s take some more time for mental care to make sure that I am OK. Because I was granted more time.
• 
  2020-03-10

  Goodbye Grandma

  This text I wrote is in memory of my grandma, and the horrible and traumatic flashbacks of Covid 19. This experience took a huge toll on me and my family.
• 2020-03

  Family and Community Impacted by COVID

  Well to be honest the pandemic did not effect my family too much, no one caught COVID and most of us are vaccinated as well. No one lost their jobs or their homes, or their business so I believe we were pretty good. The only thing bad would be the isolation but, that's about it.
• 
  2020-03

  My 2020

  This is a story about how my life was during the pandemic in 2020. It tells the story of how isolated everyone was because of social distancing. A whole year just went by but I still felt like my life was a standing still. It was my first time being in the city since the lock down and it was scary to see how empty Times Square was.
• 
  2021-02-28

  Surviving the pandemic

  It is my personal experience of the pandemic. It's important to me as I've fought my inner insecurities and battles. I'm still coping with the stress caused by this pandemic, but it is getting better and I hope it gets better for everyone else too.
• 
  2021-02-14

  My Story: I Got COVID-19 Because of ICE

  I am sending a diary style writing where I share my experience during the pandemic. I focus on the issue of ICE during the pandemic. Before the lockdowns, my uncle was detained by ICE and was deported during the pandemic. My uncle has been living in the US for 25+ years and Mexico, my uncle's home country, has changed a lot since he last lived there. For that reason, I went to Mexico to take him home. This made me get COVID.
• 
  2020-03-30

  An unforgettable journey story

  It's my personal experience related to the pandemic. This experience prepared my to overcome greater challenges which I may still have to face in the future.
• 2020-03

  The Rippling Effects of COVID-19

  COVID-19 came as a shock to everyone. No one could have predicted the rippling effects it has had in everyone's lives. This pandemic impacts all kinds of people- young, old, single, married, rich, and poor. It is the common thread among all of us. It is what binds us together during this difficult time. This time will never be forgotten. It will be written in textbooks and taught to future generations. Many families are going through a hard time. Who knew a virus could infiltrate people’s lives like this and flip them upside down? No one saw this coming. Many families are struggling financially including mine. We weren’t prepared for this. We thought it will all blow over soon enough. Unfortunately, we were wrong. First, my school closed. Then, my job place closed. Then, my gym closed. It seemed as if the whole world was shutting down right before my eyes, slowly stripping the things I love the most. The thought of being trapped in the house, all day, every day, for who knows how long, gave me anxiety. Slowly, life began to become very boring. Waking up knowing that you’re trapped in the house. Curfews were put up in my city. It’s like we were little kids and the Government was our parents trying to protect us from the monster- COVID 19. I suddenly had so much free time on my hands and didn’t know what to do with it. I decided to pick up some new hobbies. I tried everything. From painting to reading. It was a crazy time for all of us. When we were finally allowed out, I was so happy. Happy that everything will go back to normal, happy that I could get my old life back, happy that I could leave my house again. However, it wasn’t what I expected it to be. We had to wear masks, gloves, and maintain six feet apart between people. I remember the first time I went out in months. Everyone had covered faces and only eyes of sadness and fear were able to be seen. We all looked the same, yet on the inside we were different, each of us experiencing the impacts of the pandemic in a different way. I was shocked. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that a virus, something that is not visible to the naked eye, has turned our lives upside down and forced us to deal with the consequences. As of now, September 2020, life is somewhat what it used to be, but it will never return back to the way we’ve known. The fact that this has become our new reality, is kind of scary. But we are not out of the clear yet, there’s still so much work to do. We have to cooperate with all the guidelines and stick together. Especially during these difficult times, together we are stronger. This is all my own interpretation of the times we live in now and how it has impacted me and changed our lives forever.
• 2020-10-02

  Growing Tired of This

  This might be long, but quarantine has been one of the worst experiences in my life. At first, I was kinda cool with the fact that I didn't have to go out. Not having to sit in classrooms for hours, not having to deal with hundreds of people at school, not having to deal with intense anxiety anymore! Life seemed pretty good for me at that time. Online classes during my last months in senior year of high school wasn't too bad. But when it came time for college, I was panicking. I mean, who wouldn't? Starting a brand new experience right in the middle of quarantine? That'd shake anybody in their boots. Like most things, it wasn't too bad at first. Sure, Zoom was pretty annoying to figure out, but things seemed to be running smoothly. However, in my opinion, trying to figure out Blackboard is a nightmare. That site is sooo not user friendly, it's such a complete mess. To this day, I'm STILL having trouble with it. The work load isn't too harsh, but trying to muster up the energy to do even anything during this pandemic is difficult. Everyday has started feeling the same: wake up, feel miserable, force myself to eat, try to do something productive (while feeling miserable), go to sleep, rinse and repeat. My depression has never hit this hard until starting college. On my worst days, I literally cannot bring myself to get out of bed and make myself food. I lie there with zero energy until the sun goes down. It'd be 6-8pm before I finally drag myself to the kitchen for a light meal (which is the same thing I've been eating for the past several months) or for a long, hot shower. I can hardly bring myself to focus on school work. As of writing this, it's currently 4:51 AM. My sleep schedule is an utter disaster. On most nights, I end up staying up till the sun rises. It's not too uncommon that I stay up for 20+ hours. Though this all comes crashing back to me when I end up sleeping through class Zoom calls, or even oversleeping and missing my classes entirely (it's happened twice so far and both times have spiraled me into a deep depressive episode that I won't be describing). Trying to be productive during quarantine is a joke. I have a lot of things around me that can entertain and distract me. How am I expected to focus when Twitter, YouTube, and Discord are in my reach 24/7, you know? During my classes, I just tune everything out. What's even the point of listening, when professors ramble on for a two hours about things you don't even care about, when all the assignments just consists of reading a bunch of articles that bore you to death and then having you write some response (that you can easily BS) to it? I never thought I'd say this, but I just want to be allowed to go out again. I'm tired of all of this. I'm so exhausted. Learning virtually is mentally draining. It can hardly be considered learning. I doubt anybody is really even absorbing any information being given to them during these virtual meetings, save for the few innocent souls that haven't been tainted by quarantine depression yet. I'm so sick of it all. I can't focus. I can't bring myself to do anything. I just can't anymore. (Also isn't it kinda stupid how they're letting literal children go back to school and yet campus won't be open? Okay sure, maybe it's because CUNY has way more students, but still. I wouldn't trust a 5 year old to properly wear a mask for the whole day and practice good hygiene. Kids are messy.)