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  2022-03

  Yesteryear

  Yesteryear is the product of pent up anxiety, confusion, loss, depression and hopelessness, painted in 2022. It is how I would describe life before and after Covid-19. Separated into two pieces the anterior canvas is multicolored, to represent the carefree state of life. It can represents the high points in my life pre-pandemic, inclusive of freedom and family. The oil protrudes in some parts and is flat in others signifying the highs and lows of everyday life. The posterior canvas is quite the opposite if viewed closely, some of the colors used in the painting above have been covered in dark colors. It is smooth to the touch. No high points in this instance. All lows. Dreary. Dark. The red bordering both , represents the vitality of human nature. At the top it was uncontrolled, bleeding into all other aspects of life pre-Covid. As it travels south, it becomes thinner, more rigid, more linear. It then starts to completely disappear and despair has taken its place.
• 2020-04-08

  Impressive experience

  When the Covid-19 outbreak first started in New York, it was unfortunate that all of my family was positive. In March 2020, after someone in New York was diagnosed positive, my family did not want me to go out and during that time I was in high school and working part-time. My family including most relatives also started not to work and quarantined at home. One day, one of my aunts came to my house with a cold and a cough, but we didn't think much of it because she just got the flu shot so we figured it might be the aftermath of the shot. After two or three days, we started to have different symptoms. I remember I started with a sore throat, a headache, a fever, and then lost my sense of taste and smell. My relatives also showed different degrees of symptoms, and my grandma had the most severe symptoms. She first had a sore throat, a cold, and a low-grade fever, and then she kept having diarrhea and couldn't eat which caused her to lose almost 10 pounds in just one week. During that time, one of my aunts came to take care of my grandma. Throughout the duration of my grandma being ill my aunt was running on only a few hours of sleep per day since she had to keep an eye over my grandma. I remember that the hospitals in New York were full at that time, many patients died without receiving treatment, and refrigerated trucks were parked outside the hospital to store the dead bodies of patients. The TV news also showed that many people were protesting against the announcement of masks being mandatory when going out. None of them believed that Covid-19 would be serious enough to kill people, and this frustrated me, making me feel the urge to express my feelings towards how serious this virus is. I saw that my grandma's condition was getting worse and worse. We also thought about calling an ambulance to take her to the hospital, but we were afraid that we would not get treatment and we would not be able to visit the hospital. We felt very hopeless. We were on the last straw, thus we were all discussing that if grandma didn't show any signs of improvement the next day, our last resort is to have my grandma sent to the hospital. As a result, the following day, my grandma started to eat and did not continue to have a fever, and her condition began to improve. Overall, Covid-19 has brought my family a lot of distress and I am glad that Covid-19 has started to settle and everything is slowly getting back to normal again.
• 2020-04

  Getting our Time Back

  During our everyday lives, we tend to lose so much of our time that we'd like to spend doing things we enjoy such as spending time with family or even just doing hobbies. For example, when you have to work all week you usually spend at least half your weekend catching up on personal chores. During the Covid-19 Pandemic, my family and I were able to get back some of the time we had been spending at school and work, we were able to spend time together instead. We were able to have movie nights, game nights, and meals at the table, and we just enjoyed being together overall. This is so important to me because I value every second I spend with my loved ones, and I was glad we really got a chance to bond during a very stressful time for everyone.
• 2020

  Diary Snippets

  This is one of many reflective exercises I’ve had to do regarding the pandemic experience. At this point, I've nearly run out of creative ways to spin my quarantine (and post lock down) stories. Instead, I'll just share little bits of the first reflections I chronicled; I kept a journal for about a year and a half. I began writing on the 25th day of total isolation. Here are seven tidbits: Day 25 My mood: anxious and grouchy My music: BEYONCE, random 80’s stuff (thanks, dad), Lottery by KCamp We ate an orange! A single orange segment for each of us. Because nobody is risking their life to restock fresh fruit. Day 30: I cracked today. My brain cells shattered from the excessive screen time. My music: Eteko by Mestre Dangui ft. Fabregas, Raggamuffin by Koffee My attitude: crap My parents and I share a mutual dislike of each other and also of vacuums Day 57: I’m very concerned that I don’t feel a need to go outside at all. Everyone is freaking out about the lack of outdoor time and socialization, but I’m doing okay. And so, for that reason, I feel guilty and worried. I’m a mutant, I can survive two months indoors without respite. S [my sister] is surprised I’m not a video gamer. I’m surprised I’m not dead from the lack of fresh air, exercise and vitamin D. Never mind that, E [my little brother] is my vitamin D, my sunshine. Day 104: I BROKE QUARANTINE (kinda). I WENT IN THE CAR FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE MARCH 9th (Today it’s June 15th). I ALSO WENT INSIDE TRADER JOE’S. I wore two masks and one glove. Mom and I waited in a line with yellow markers for distancing. I was afraid. We were only allowed one wagon, but we filled it up with lots of stuff. Historic Day. ***After Day #130, I abandoned my system of marking the days and just wrote the date. 10/8/2020 My dad got corona. Sweet lord in heaven if one cough escapes my throat... Still thinking about how Elon Musk’s baby’s name is a bunch of numbers. Weird to think that in ten years this will all be in the history books. Why would I need to learn history if I am history dang it. My friend and I are watching “Avatar the Last Airbender.” We chat via Netflix Party and face time simultaneously to see each other's reactions and expressions #quarantinestyle 11/7/2020 BIDEN WON! *chaos ensues*
• 2020-03-13

  In the Blink of An Eye

  Maybe if quarantine lasts three weeks, we’ll have spring break before we go back to class, I wistfully think to myself. It’s already March 13th of 2020, but the air is still nippy and my mom still makes me wear that atrocious parka. She’s been hearing all these reports about the coronavirus, and I think it’s releasing her inner germaphobe. My school day finishes off like any other, except I have to stay behind for AP Biology review, like who has review two months before an exam? Following an hour full of practice problems, workbooks, and texting my friends under my desk, it’s finally time to go home. The talk of the school is if Xaverian plans on closing for quarantine, following the footsteps of nearly every other Catholic school in the city. But I don’t even take two steps out of my desk before my iPad pings with an email. One by one, we all find out that Xaverian will be closed for the foreseeable future, and that online learning will commence on Monday. I picture using this new interface, Zoom, for class. A feeling of exhilaration grows in my chest. I can already picture it: no uniforms, and no restrictions—just a newfound capacity for freedom. Our group parades towards the lockers, gossiping while packing up our books and putting on our coats. The moment doesn’t feel real; it feels like I’m floating, suspended in the joyful innocence of being a high school senior. With our navy and khaki skirts swishing around our legs, knees exposed to the frigid air, my three friends and I begin the trek home through Bay Ridge, blissfully ignorant to the fact that it would be the very last time we ever put those uniforms back on, or that it would be three months before we saw each other next. How naïve we were walking home that day, discussing how fun and convenient online learning would be. We chat about prom dress shopping, boys, and how funny it would be to take AP exams online—not realizing that prom would be canceled, and that we would take those exams online. It was my last day of normal, the last day before everything changed for good. Three months later, I graduated high school from my porch, wistfully smiling as I was handed a trophy for becoming the Salutatorian of Xaverian High School’s Class of 2020. The following week in June, I stand on those same steps in funeral clothes, wondering how everything changed in the blink of an eye. Not even seven days after graduation, my grandma passes away alone at Staten Island University Hospital, unable to be accompanied by her family because of COVID-19. It comes out of the blue; she feels fatigued and lethargic, but refuses to get medical attention until the very last moment because of possible exposure to the virus. By the time she arrives at the hospital, they admit her in stable condition, but she never makes it through the night. As of June 20th, 2020, 176,066 Americans are dead from the coronavirus. My grandma didn’t have it, but I can’t help counting her as the 176,067th life taken away by this disease. Because of COVID-19, she skipped her doctor’s appointments, and lived in complete isolation to avoid contracting the virus. Yet in the end, it is the virus that indirectly takes her away, preventing any of her loved ones from being present in her final moments. Nearly three years later since that last day of high school, on February 21st, 2023, I can reflect on how much my life has changed. COVID-19 went on to rob me of my first two years at Brooklyn College–I spent them cooped up in my bedroom on Zoom, not meeting my newfound friends until my junior year of college. COVID-19 influenced me in my choice to be a Health and Nutrition Science major, as I hope to learn more about preventing disease and use my knowledge to make me a better physician in the future. Millions have now died from COVID-19, and my version of “normal” has forever changed. Three years ago, the future seemed bleak and dire. I still wear a mask on the train, but now I see hope in the future because of our vaccine development and how normalized it’s become to talk about public health. I can only hope that as time goes on, humanity works together to regain a sense of normalcy.