Items

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  2021-12-28

  COVID-19 Infectious Snowballs

  COVID-19 gave us a tough time, and many of us haven’t had a chance to stop and check in with ourselves about what has actually been happening around us. Coming to New York was a new beginning for me that came with additional responsibilities. I had to balance my personal and academic life, family’s financial needs, extracurricular activities, and work. Just when I felt that everything was going smoothly, I was shattered to hear that it had been three months since my I-20 was terminated because of an academic document transfer issue. I could not go back to my country as I was part of “Hizmet,” a faith-inspired civil society movement, which at that time was facing oppression and persecution due to the bogus allegations of orchestrating a failed coup in Turkey. Therefore, I had to apply for asylum, which caused me a lot of stress, and it affected my academic career as I had to focus on court procedures. Even though due to the pandemic, the scheduled hearings got canceled, prolonging this challenging period, and I lost my job which was the only source for me to pay for my college tuition and support my family, still I tried to engage rather than focus on the negative side of the situation and depress myself. I put all of my efforts into being academically productive and doing something one day I could be proud of by boosting my academic performance leading me get several scholarships, involving myself in research programs, and focusing on advocacy as a student leader. As the responsibilities got heavier and more stressful, I just kept telling myself: "The harder the battle, the sweeter the victory." Life goes on... This funny story comes to my mind when the topic is about COVID-19. This past winter, the weather got really cold and snowy, and the lake behind a rental Pocono house froze over. With all the snow around us, we inevitably enjoyed a good-old fashioned snowball fight where the snowballs were called the "COVID-19" infected snowballs. Once you get hit, you get the virus. However, we soon found ourselves chasing one of our friends on top of the lake due to the ferocity he threw the snowballs with. One by one, we raced our way towards the middle of the lake. It may be obvious what happened next, but it took us all by surprise at the moment. The ice that once was had cracked, and I found my body submerged in the ice-cold water. As I tried to make myself back to solid ground, the image of my other friends frantically trying to stay calm caught my attention. When we finally did make it to safety, I couldn’t help but laugh at the events that just transpired.
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  2022-03-02

  My life living through the pandemic

  It all started back in March 2020, when we were informed that we were going into lockdown. Schools were going to be remote for two weeks and then we would go back, or so we thought. My initial thoughts were “YAY break” since I commuted to school and it takes me about an hour and a half to two hours to reach school. With the commute being cut off my schedule I was able to sleep in more and spend more time with my dog. Having school at the beginning of the pandemic with it being online was easy and professors were understanding as we were all learning to adjust. My attention span at the time was still good but as the next semester approached it was getting worse, it was difficult to concentrate and it took a lot for me to focus. At the same time, we would see a lot of people getting sick and dying on the news. Although we all took the precautions needed, it always worried me about my family and close family friends that had to continue working. Life was “good” as days went on until April 2020 came around when I lost two family members. It was a tough time for not just me but also for some of my younger family members. We all dealt in our own ways but one was of course being with family and keeping the happy memories alive until this day. It was also hard being isolated because I was used to seeing my friends but we learned to adjust and Facetime became more frequent, but of course, it wasn't the same. Now as we move forward two years later, March 2022, for the most part, classes are back to being in person and we were no longer staring at a screen but once again it was difficult because my body was not prepared to have to commute again. As the days go by it has gotten easier and felt worth going since my concentration is better now that it's in person. Interacting again is also better. It's nostalgic to be able to interact with others again and we are all appreciative to have the chance to share moments face to face with our family and friends again.
• 
  2020-03

  Everyday Life During Lockdown

  March 2020 when the lockdown first started I was not aware of how big this pandemic was going to be. It was the second half of my senior year of high school and I remember we all thought that the school wasn’t going to close. Our principal was telling us a few days before everything was shut down that the school will not be closing and to not be worried. Next thing you know Spring 2022 is the first time back in person for most of my classes. It was a big change having school online in the beginning, it was difficult to fully concentrate in classes and harder to stay motivated. It is a weird thing to be slightly removed from the fact that I graduated high school and started college because I wasn’t able to do certain things in person. There was at least one positive experience throughout the pandemic though. My family and I would have dinner together every night then go into the living room and watch whatever show we were binge watching at the time. It was a time where we got really close and it was a nice routine to have. It was a way for us all to be together and bring some happiness in that sad time.
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  2022-03-02

  burnout

  I think these are the years of burnout. I felt so isolated during quarantine. I worked so hard to occupy myself while I heard sirens blaring from ambulances rushing. I worked so hard when things started to 'go back to normal' but people were still dying. It's years later and it's still not over. I'm so tired. Don't want to work when the world feels like it is still ending.
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  2021-04-07

  A Mother's Anxiety

  My mom worked in a nursing home. For a while, she did her job and came home with gloves and disinfectant. We all kept distance in our small home. One day, she came home with COVID-19. Burnt out by incompetent managers, menopause, and long-standing mental issues, they became tenfold. They all consumed her while she was sick. When she recovered from COVID-19, everything else stayed. She was severely mentally fragile. She would cry every day and wanted to be in the same room with everyone, all the time. She could not be left alone for months. My father did not remain compassionate and sympathetic. My sister struggled to be my mom's friend. I used all my energy to keep her head above tears. The emotional toll on everyone in my family was the worst we have have ever faced. We all struggled to help her. She eventually recovered and not goes on walks everyday, by herself.
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  2021-02-13

  My Life Changed during the Pandemic

  I've consistently been an extremely outgoing, positive, and optimistic person. There was never a moment when I wasn't socializing and beaming. However, it put me in a depressive condition during the pandemic, where I was downright isolated. Sure I was able to spend time with my family in the consolation of our home; I felt secluded from the universe. I went from someone that was frequently out to be confined to the safety of my residence. From my enthusiasm for learning to gazing at a screen and calling it my daily interaction, the pandemic took away my motivation to learn and my passion for academics. I noticed a transformation in who I was when I hardly woke up and found no inspiration for anything. I couldn't contact the support I needed because a global pandemic seized the world by storm. Most therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists weren't established for online sessions. I attempted suicide in 2021, and I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. I was admitted into a suicide prevention program and was provided daily antidepressants to suppress the desire to commit suicide. Now that the world is gradually yielding to what seems ordinary, I'm attaining my life back. However, the person I was before the pandemic is gone, and I'm still attempting to discover myself every day.
• 
  2020-07-29

  What Got me Through the Pandemic!

  The pandemic was a really tough time for me. Apart from not being able to see my friends and visit family, I was unable to work, I was taking care of my sick grandmother and I wholeheartedly took on the responsibility of maintaining a household. I neglected my mental health and ignored my physical well being and overtime the effects of stress were visible on my face. Eventually I started to neglect my responsibilities and would remain in my room for days at a time, not eating, not showering and not speaking. It was evident that I was experiencing some depressive symptoms. To combat this I had to change my habits and began writing these little manifestations and used them as mantras everyday just to get out of bed. I wrote them on a long white sheet and hung it on my closet door because it was often the first thing I saw when I woke up. They really helped me start my days with a positive mindset. Even though this was created during the mandatory quarantine for COVID-19 over the course of 2020, I find that they are still helpful when I am feeling stressed and need a mood boost. NB: this was not created all in one day. The first line was made in July when I was having a really hard day and decided to cut off all my hair. The others were added gradually over the rest of the pandemic with the latest edition being “SAD GIRLZ LUV MONEY” in November 2022 because I started working again but had to be out of bed at 5am every morning. This is the name of a song by Amarae ft Moliy which I played every day taking the train on my way to work as motivation for being on time. In the picture you will see that there's space for lots of additions and I plan to add more in the future.
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  2021-01-11

  My sisters gift from the hospital: a baby and COVID-19

  Beginning of 2021, my sister went into the hospital to give birth. In this time, COVID was at an all-time high, when everyone was afraid to leave their own home. Three days after she has given birth, she left the hospital. A few days later, she started feeling really under the weather. She thought it was postpartum pains but got tested just in case. Turns out she had contracted COVID from the hospital in the time she was giving birth. The pandemic was around, and no one was able to get away from it. As careful as you were, you never know what is going to happen. Just do your best. That is what my sisters story tells me about the pandemic.
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  2021-04-20

  My Story Reflecting The Impact of COVID-19 on My Life

  I personally never thought for a second that the COVID-19 pandemic would have had the power to take someone close from my life. I remember waking up that one morning, thinking that it was just going to be an ordinary day. My father's phone starts ringing in his room, and he picks it up. In the living room, I remember seeing him proceed to listen and nod his head. He finally hangs up and slowly makes his way towards me. He tells me that his boss passed away alone in his sleep the night before from complications associated with heart disease as he had also been infected with COVID-19 several days before. Eddie had always been there for my dad the past four decades. He watched me grow into an adult from day one and also gave me these large birthday gifts every year. For the first time in a long time, I remember seeing pain in my father's eyes, and it was definitely something that I'll never forget. This memory of losing someone close to me will always be something that I'll always associate with the COVID-19 pandemic. I also think that losing someone close or a loved one to the pandemic says a lot about the impact a pandemic can have on both mental health and physical health.
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  2020-04-15

  Financial Hardship due to covid 19

  When Covid 19 hit the USA in March 2020. The biggest impact me and my family faced was income. Both I and my spouse were working before the pandemic but the places where we worked closed resulting in us being unemployed. We tried to file unemployment so that we could have some sort of income but our applications were not accepted by the system for a long period of time. In just a few weeks all our savings were almost finished and it was a very stressful period for both me and my father. we were forced to find something to work even though covid cases were still surging at that particular time. working under such conditions was very hard and stressful but, luckily things got better with time and our situation got much better with the passage of time.
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  2020-03-17

  First time.

  I remember exactly the day before they shut down workplaces and college on Tuesday St Patrick's day I went out to go eat dinner with my friends at Outback Steakhouse and we were all saying how everything will be shutting down and how this will be a one month thing, like in a joking manner, I even went to cancel my gym membership and all that just incase without knowing what was to come after. School went online, I got a call from work that they were closing for awhile until they allowed dine-in again and they did not do take out at all, so there was no work at all for my coworkers or myself. School then was shut down for 2-3 weeks while they transitioned online which was a weird thing for both professors and students to get adjusted to. Then walking outside in Bay Ridge and not seeing 86st full of people and just looking like a ghost town area which was just a scary sight to see. All of this was just weird and kind of stressful, because there was no work at that moment, no hanging out with friends as much as you would want to or seeing family and then seeing your neighborhood go from busy to empty was a weird sight to see. Not being able to see friends or family for a long time really affected me seeing them online games or on social media helped, but it was not the same as seeing them in person. I did not have that many bills to pay off at that time, but not having a job worried me a bit when it came to paying phone bill and other items.
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  2020-06-16

  An Important Era In History

  My experience during the covid19 pandemic was very difficult. My life shifted so quickly from being outside every day and being active to being stuck at home every day and attending classes through zoom. The most difficult was shifting classes through zoom because I would not interact with my classmates and would sometimes get lost in my assignments. Something that was difficult was being home alone and not being able to visit my mom and brother because I did not want to risk my mom on catching covid.
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  2020-03-10

  A "Not So Funny" Joke

  When Covid-19 hit I was a senior in high school and had a few months till I graduated. Through the beginning of March 2020, everyone was making jokes about "corona time" and fake coughing, leading to many memes and tiktok jokes about it. It was funny when it wasn't serious and didn't seem like such a threat, but over the next week it became a lot more serious. My school emailed us saying there is no more school, in person, on March 11, 2020. We had to switch to online learning through zoom, and were forced to end off our senior year just like that. Through all my high school years I watched seniors have their fun by doing senior pranks, winning school color war, going to prom and having sun senior activities and trips! I was looking forward to this so much, and when these events were so close to happening, they were now not able to. We had to stay home for months with a city wide curfew and everywhere you went you had to wear a mask and gloves because you didn't know how easily this virus spread. Every time I would go food shopping for my mother, my father made me put all my clothing that I wore to the store straight into the laundry, and I had to take a shower. My mom also enforced wiping down every item bought with a Clorox wipe so that it was sanitized. The world was becoming scary. This quickly became a reality and it was a shock to everyone because it was all just a joke and nobody took it serious in the beginning.