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  2020-04-10

  Lonely

  The pandemic made me realize how truly lonely I was and not because I didn't have people around me or people I could still communicate with. I was lonely with myself and my company. This realization hit me during quarantine. It was a very hard truth to accept but it helped me so much. I learned to be content with my own company, to learn to love myself and listen to myself. I know that others have very similar stories of how they had major life-changing realizations not just from outside forces but from within. I think it's very important not to dismiss ourselves once things return to the new normal. We need to be aware of ourselves and feed our souls as much as we nourish our minds and bodies.
• 2020-04-10

  Good Friday

  It was early Friday morning and I could not fall back asleep. I kept hearing murmurs from the room next door. My stomach began rumbling and I began to worry. Something was definitely off. My feet touched the cold floor and my hands grazed the doorknob but someone else on the other side beat me to opening the door. My dad's face was covered in fear and worry. I asked him what was wrong and like parents do they shield you to protect you from bad news. He told me everything was fine and to go back to bed. Minutes passed but it seemed like hours and I still could not find sleep. My dad burst into the door and told me to call an ambulance for my mother because she was having trouble breathing. My hands began to shake, my body was trembling as I picked up my phone and dialled 911. I stood in my parents room watching over my mother and her saying her last goodbyes to my brother and I. I could not even manage the words out of my mouth as I spoke to the person over the phone. It all happened so fast. My younger brother and I were imploring my mom to hold on and that help was on the way. Within minutes the paramedics arrived. They checked her vital signs and determined my mother was fine and was having a panic attack. That was the day my life changed. Everyone in the world was going through this. Who would have thought we all would have been in a lockdown. My mother became overwhelmed with the situation. Everytime you would turn on the TV, Covid-19 was always headlining. Hearing ambulances come and go every so often right outside your apartment. Sometimes even hearing people cry at the top of their lungs because a family member had passed away. People losing jobs and not being able to work. It was hard hearing all of this. It became such a burden to her that she herself got ill. However, going through this experience helped my family appreciate one another even more. We helped each other out and we enjoyed the small things whether it was making a joke or watching a movie. Funny enough it happened right before Easter as well and my mother being religious and all saw it as a sign. In a way we did have a lot to be thankful for. A second chance to rebuild our family.