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Tag is exactly
sister
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2020-03-24
Mental Breakdown
My sister, Heidi, passed away in Washington, DC, on March 23, 2020. I wasn’t allowed to be with her when she died. My sister was my best friend. I was so lost. Her children, Significant other, my mother, her best friend, and I couldn’t have a funeral for her because of the rules put into place for Covid. So, we could not have a memorial for her till and year and four months later. At the same time, everything began to shut down. My husband works for the NYPD; I was terrified of him getting sick and losing him. Every day after he left for work, I would fall on the floor and break down in tears. I live next to a nursing home facility on Beach 119th St. in Rockaway Park. At this time, I would stare out my windows to look at the ocean to try to calm myself. For weeks, I would see out the right side of my windows and the ambulances and medical examiner vans showing up non-stop to the nursing home for ten days. Bodies were being taken out morning, noon, and night. The flashing red lights signaled that my mental health was in danger. I felt myself crashing many times. I was devasted. To this day, I carry so much internal trauma, I don’t know if I’ll ever recover. I hate this world and the cruel people in it. People have become so ugly because of Covid. I doubt I’ll ever be able to escape the mental anguish that lives in my soul... -
2020-09-29T15:55:00
What a time to be ALIVE ? COVID-19. 2020
My My My what a time to be alive. COVID-19 has put things into perspective for me personally as far as pursuing a career in the medical field which Ive always had a passion for. Just like anything COVID-19 has its pros and cons, mostly cons but I try to see the light in everything. My personal experience with COVID-19 has been pretty close. Being an essential worker, a student, and having people you care about contract COVID-19 is heart wrenching. Things shifted quickly for me in March. I vividly remember working at a Dermatologist office in LI. and one of my co-workers that went to Molloy College said their school had closed school down, but CUNY was still in school which was alamaring to me but I paid it no mind. I noticed that my co-worker had been sneezing and coughing, but again I didn't think it was COVID-19, and it wasn't in America like it was in China. On March 22nd I received an email from my doctor that my co-worker tested positive for the virus. I am in close proximity to her at the office and in her car when she drops me off home. Now I am worried for my families well being including mines. My sister is a city essential worker, she is a supervisor for NYCHA groundmens, my mom works for a Utility company, and my niece is 5 years old. I never displayed any symptoms so I didn't get tested. My immediate family is safe and sound as well. I ended up leaving that job, because the doctor was money hungry, and didn't really care about the safety of his employees. I later found out that his son had tested positive for the Virus, and he was still coming to work, we also never closed down for 14 days, perhaps 7. Now I only have one job which is for another Doctor, an Optometrist, we closed down for about 6-8 weeks. The Rockaways which I reside and work in has one of the highest COVID-19 cases in Queens county. I live close to St.John's Hospital and walking past those trailers on a day to day basis is very sad, especially knowing what lies inside. To make things “better” On April 8th I found out my Best friend contracted the virus along with her sister that is a Nurse, and dad that is a Welder. My friend already has pre existing health conditions such as UC (Ulcerative colitis.) My spirit was low when I got the news. Luckily for me my best friend is still here. It took her about a month to fully recover at home with plenty of rest and antibiotics. On August 19th, I thought I would certainly lose my 97 year old grandmother that resides in a nursing home because she too tested positive for COVID-19. However, she was asymptomatic, the nursing home kept us abreast of her daily progression which put us at ease. The nursing home quarantined her for 2 weeks and she pulled through no ventilator and was pretty healthy. Some good things I will take from COVID-19 is the much needed family time and mental break from society. As New Yorkers we are always on the go and I feel we don't get time to appreciate what we have in front of us. This was the time to start the healthy journey, learn to love yourself, relax, do an at home mani and pedi, binge eat, play video games, watch tv, read a book, make a budget, maybe even start a business, and most importantly learn to love and appreciate life no matter what the situation is. Everyone is fighting or going through something you know nothing about and will always be going through something whether it was precovid, postcovid or during COVID-19. Just remember to always look at the lighter side of things and smile.It will get easier with time.