Items

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  2020-03-11

  just as you thought things will continue the way you want it to be for your entire life comes a new disease that could change everything within our daily lives especially students who are doing all that they can to reach that Goal for it to be accomplished. with covid 19 being the forefront of not only this country but around the world it can our sense of normal can be in danger.

  my experience when dealing with the pandemic is something new that i didn't think it can occur within a lifetime based on how it's being portrayed by not only in the media but how it's describe from doctors and experts within the health field in which in thend makes it confusing for the majority of individuals. because when covid 19 first hit the U.S last year that is when everything change especially with schools because instead of going to school in person which this is the place where we go to meet people face to face including professors and others in different departments we transitioned online. my experience with being transitioned to online was a bit challenging because this is something that i feel would take time to adjust to the new form of learning regardless of the circumstance that is not in my control especially since i'm a returning student at brooklyn college who is very used to doing it the old school way which is in person learning
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  2020

  Inside and Outside, At Home, Spring 2020 Semester, Brooklyn

  This submission interweaves the personal and professional experiences of an associate professor in the Brooklyn College Library with references to events happening in the larger society during the months of the COVID-19 pandemic through early October 2020.
• 2020-10-02

  Growing Tired of This

  This might be long, but quarantine has been one of the worst experiences in my life. At first, I was kinda cool with the fact that I didn't have to go out. Not having to sit in classrooms for hours, not having to deal with hundreds of people at school, not having to deal with intense anxiety anymore! Life seemed pretty good for me at that time. Online classes during my last months in senior year of high school wasn't too bad. But when it came time for college, I was panicking. I mean, who wouldn't? Starting a brand new experience right in the middle of quarantine? That'd shake anybody in their boots. Like most things, it wasn't too bad at first. Sure, Zoom was pretty annoying to figure out, but things seemed to be running smoothly. However, in my opinion, trying to figure out Blackboard is a nightmare. That site is sooo not user friendly, it's such a complete mess. To this day, I'm STILL having trouble with it. The work load isn't too harsh, but trying to muster up the energy to do even anything during this pandemic is difficult. Everyday has started feeling the same: wake up, feel miserable, force myself to eat, try to do something productive (while feeling miserable), go to sleep, rinse and repeat. My depression has never hit this hard until starting college. On my worst days, I literally cannot bring myself to get out of bed and make myself food. I lie there with zero energy until the sun goes down. It'd be 6-8pm before I finally drag myself to the kitchen for a light meal (which is the same thing I've been eating for the past several months) or for a long, hot shower. I can hardly bring myself to focus on school work. As of writing this, it's currently 4:51 AM. My sleep schedule is an utter disaster. On most nights, I end up staying up till the sun rises. It's not too uncommon that I stay up for 20+ hours. Though this all comes crashing back to me when I end up sleeping through class Zoom calls, or even oversleeping and missing my classes entirely (it's happened twice so far and both times have spiraled me into a deep depressive episode that I won't be describing). Trying to be productive during quarantine is a joke. I have a lot of things around me that can entertain and distract me. How am I expected to focus when Twitter, YouTube, and Discord are in my reach 24/7, you know? During my classes, I just tune everything out. What's even the point of listening, when professors ramble on for a two hours about things you don't even care about, when all the assignments just consists of reading a bunch of articles that bore you to death and then having you write some response (that you can easily BS) to it? I never thought I'd say this, but I just want to be allowed to go out again. I'm tired of all of this. I'm so exhausted. Learning virtually is mentally draining. It can hardly be considered learning. I doubt anybody is really even absorbing any information being given to them during these virtual meetings, save for the few innocent souls that haven't been tainted by quarantine depression yet. I'm so sick of it all. I can't focus. I can't bring myself to do anything. I just can't anymore. (Also isn't it kinda stupid how they're letting literal children go back to school and yet campus won't be open? Okay sure, maybe it's because CUNY has way more students, but still. I wouldn't trust a 5 year old to properly wear a mask for the whole day and practice good hygiene. Kids are messy.)
• 2020

  New Challenges, New Hope

  Ever since the start of the pandemic and the shift towards remote learning, I’ve faced new challenges in places I did not expect. In my home, it was hard getting used to studying and going to class whilst living in a small apartment that I share with my family; I did not having adequate space to learn and read, but my family and I worked something out and now I could/can study with ease. Additionally, I could not talk to my friends and interact with them, even online, given how I had to focus 2x more on my studies but I realized that my friends were experiencing the same thing and we soon planned several days to just talk online and interact. With COVID-19 and police violence spreading like wildfire, I feared what was going to happen to my family, friends, professor, class colleagues and more. However, seeing how people got together, helped each other, protested, united and worked in solidarity, it showed me something: hope. That even in the hardest times in life, there is still hope.
• 
  2019-03-19

  Beaten But Not Broken

  This year has been really challenging for me and my family especially my kids who had to resort to online learning. As I started the spring semester with confident and some excitement as I was entering my last year at Brooklyn College, anxiety ,fear, and some what nervous because this is a crucial part of completing my degree. Some may think why are you so worried you should be happy you made it this far, but coming thus far and failing a class can mean one more semester and you not been able to graduate on time can get you pretty worked up. However while al this was going on in my mind the news break that COVID 19 has taken control of our lives and we have to resort to online learning. This was not the news I want to hear, when I have never taken online classes before ,and I must say its because online I hate. Not only that, I will now become my children teacher while in school myself and this was something that I have been concern about from the beginning of the pandemic until present. Though I have manage to pass my classes it is no secret that I have been overwhelmed, sometimes thinking that its too much to for one person to do in any given day. COVID 19 has bring mores worries and stress in my life than anything I ever experience, but I am determine to overcome COVID 19 and all its challenges.
• 
  2020

  A cacophony of silence

  This is a personal account of my time during the height of the pandemic, how it affected my studies, and ultimately the crushing loneliness of it all. Hello, My name is Shemar Providence and this is my account of the COVID19 pandemic. I will begin at the start of the virus. During this time I was going to classes as normal. The virus had become known as it swept through Wuhan china. My mother and I were worried that it would eventually make its way over to the states. Overall I would describe the climate around the virus as a general sense of apathy. “As long as it wasn't over here everything is fine” was a common sentiment among my peers as well as governing officials. It was the beginning of March when it began to spread like wildfire in new york. The most apathetic of us were now worried or decided to stay home. Colleges began to transition to online learning to stop the spread. Within about 2 weeks, from the gossip to the first outbreak, New york was put into a standstill. I was born with asthma as well as a weakened immune system. For me, the virus was a matter of life and death. I live with my mother who quarantined me in the house until the virus would cool down. We bought masks, hand sanitizer, gloves, whatever we could get our hands on to keep each other safe. During this time the mania had begun all over the country. People were buying things in bulk fighting each other over the most basic of things. It was a mess. it was approaching the end of March. In just a few short weeks I got a glimpse at what pandemonium looked like. Remote learning was a challenge. My neighborhood had poor connectivity issues. For about half of April, I had no internet connection and could not reach 2 of my professors. I ended up not getting credit for those classes. For the other professors, I was able to reach I was able to come up with a compromise. A lot of instructors weren't really well versed in remote learning and would go missing some days. With poor connectivity zoom meetings would stutter and stop. Overall the entire learning process was halted not only for me but for others as well. Considering how many others had a poor connection and were forced to drop classes. The greatest thing to experience first hand was the politics of the virus. You would think a matter pertaining to community health would not become a divisive issue but it was. Like everything in recent years, it had to be split down the middle to appeal to the most radical on both sides. Some people were saying it was a hoax and that the government was seeing how far they could control people. These people felt as though being forced to wear a mask violated their civil liberties. These were the most apathetic of us not caring about what happens to those of us who are less healthy. They bemoaned anyone who would wear a mask as a democrat thus sparking the aforementioned democrats to return fire. And like that the division grew. I think the isolation from the quarantine probably helped to heighten tensions but looking at it live it just seems so stupid. A matter as simple as stopping the spread became a democrat and republican issue, and a rights issue. republican s even put less emphasis on the virus due to it spreading in primarily blue states. It was all truly awful. With the country seemingly falling apart in pandemonia staying at home felt more and more suffocating. The same four walls became a coffin of sorts. If the virus got in I would be done for. However, I was still dead to the world around me. Keeping touch with friends was my only salvation between schoolwork and deafening silence. It didn't help that my own mother kept live streaming the ongoing pain at its height. I couldn't escape it. The death of the depression the pain. It was all around me. People I knew and loved in my neighborhood died and I couldn't even see them go. I grew depressed and more cynical as a person. It seemed like hell. It just kept going and going. School ended leaving me more depressed over my studies than ever. But at least the rate of death had started to decrease. It is starting to get better, slowly but surely. But it still feels as though there is worse yet to come. This year has been so divisive and sad. And I feel like it will just keep getting worse.