Collected Item: “Brian Ghafari-Naraghi Oral History, 2022/05/18”
Title
Brian Ghafari
Who conducted the interview? List all names, separated by comma.
Kit Heintzman
Who was interviewed? List all names, separated by commas.
Brian Ghafari
Email Address(es) for all interviewers. Separated by comma.
kheintzman@gmail.com
Use one-word hashtags (separated by commas) to describe your oral history. For example: Where did it originate? How does this object make you feel? How does this object relate to the pandemic?
#abortion, #advocate, #AIDS, #ALS, #Alzheimers, #Baptist, #boundaries, #Buddhist, #cancer, #celebrations, #cremation, #crying, #doula, #educator, #ER, #family, #funeral, #gay, #grief, #guns, #homebody, #hospice, #hospital, #hugs, #introvert, #joy, #KansasCity, #marriage, #meditation, #Missouri, #music, #needles, #NICU, #nurse, #pain, #parenthood, #psychedelics, #queer, #resilience, #sacred, #spirituality, #suicide, #theology, #touch
What is the format of your recording?
Video
In what ZIP code is the primary residence of the interviewee? (enter 5-digit ZIP code; for example, 00544 or 94305)? In what city/town/village does the interviewee live? In what country does the interviewee live? All comma-separated.
Kansas City, Missouri
What is the gender of the interviewee? Be sure to allow interviewees to self-identify their gender in the pre-interview or interview. *Do not assign a gender identity to interviewees.*
He/Him/His
What is the age of the interviewee?
45 to 54
How does the interviewee describe their race or ethnicity? Be sure to allow interviewees to self-identify their race/ethnicity in the pre-interview or interview. *Do not assign a racial or ethnic identity to interviewees.*
Persian American
Describe the oral history.
Some of the things we discussed include
Growing up American Baptist
Coming of age during the AIDS crisis as a gay man; stigma
Relationship with mother; mother dying ~twenty years ago; taking care of siblings
Marriage, relationship with mother in law, children
Son’s diagnosis with cancer
Working and volunteering in many parts of the medical field: home health aid, registered nurse, death doula, grieving counselor, street medicine, hospice director
Lost work during the pandemic
Birth of grandson during COVID
Connecting with dying clients, listening to life stories
Creating a death plan with clients, education, making your wishes known
Bodily/patient autonomy; medical advocacy
Pain management
Comparing quality and quantity of life
Dying with dignity
Media representations of death
Accessible teaching style, target 5th grade level
Emotional labor and emotional regulation; boundaries
Comfort with silence; being present
Humor, tough love, reassurance, and honesty
Patients needing touch during the pandemic
Authority and power in healthcare infrastructure
Mementos, legacy projects, respecting the dead’s wishes
Saying goodbye
Nursing homes
A nurse-friend dying of COVID
Preparing to host a Death Cafe
Other references: Paul Tschudi (The George Washington University), oncologist Dr. Jesse Roberts, hospice and palliative care physician Dr. Maureen Dudgeon, The Rockettes, Roe v. Wade, Disney Princess Hugs, Aerosmith, Warren Hanson’s The Next Place (1997), survivor’s guilt, Margaret Edson’s Wit (1995), Little Miss Sunshine (TV-series), Mitch Albon’s Five People You Meet in Heaven (2003), Jimmy Buffett’s Cheeseburger in Paradise (1978), Swedish Death Cleaning, active shooter training, Gen X, Millennials, Dasia Taylor’s invention of color-changing sutures
See also:
https://inelda.org/doula-profile-brian-ghafari/
https://www.facebook.com/serene.passages/
Growing up American Baptist
Coming of age during the AIDS crisis as a gay man; stigma
Relationship with mother; mother dying ~twenty years ago; taking care of siblings
Marriage, relationship with mother in law, children
Son’s diagnosis with cancer
Working and volunteering in many parts of the medical field: home health aid, registered nurse, death doula, grieving counselor, street medicine, hospice director
Lost work during the pandemic
Birth of grandson during COVID
Connecting with dying clients, listening to life stories
Creating a death plan with clients, education, making your wishes known
Bodily/patient autonomy; medical advocacy
Pain management
Comparing quality and quantity of life
Dying with dignity
Media representations of death
Accessible teaching style, target 5th grade level
Emotional labor and emotional regulation; boundaries
Comfort with silence; being present
Humor, tough love, reassurance, and honesty
Patients needing touch during the pandemic
Authority and power in healthcare infrastructure
Mementos, legacy projects, respecting the dead’s wishes
Saying goodbye
Nursing homes
A nurse-friend dying of COVID
Preparing to host a Death Cafe
Other references: Paul Tschudi (The George Washington University), oncologist Dr. Jesse Roberts, hospice and palliative care physician Dr. Maureen Dudgeon, The Rockettes, Roe v. Wade, Disney Princess Hugs, Aerosmith, Warren Hanson’s The Next Place (1997), survivor’s guilt, Margaret Edson’s Wit (1995), Little Miss Sunshine (TV-series), Mitch Albon’s Five People You Meet in Heaven (2003), Jimmy Buffett’s Cheeseburger in Paradise (1978), Swedish Death Cleaning, active shooter training, Gen X, Millennials, Dasia Taylor’s invention of color-changing sutures
See also:
https://inelda.org/doula-profile-brian-ghafari/
https://www.facebook.com/serene.passages/
On what date did you record this oral history?
2022-05-18